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Sonic knows he should be running faster. He's barely running at half his speed, and he's in a hurry to get home. But he's just so tired. The mission was brutal, to put it simply. Eggman pulled out every single trick to keep them busy, and with the team being down to just Sonic, Amy and Knuckles, it was a struggle to keep up— not that Sonic would ever admit that to Eggman. He kept throwing his usual taunts and one-liners, refusing to let the doctor know how worn down their little trio was becoming. It was almost a week of constant fighting, ambushes, and stealth missions.
And, of course, the glaring issue that was weighing on Sonic's mind.
Tails.
His brother sat this mission out, staying at home with a cold and insisting the others should go without him. Sonic wishes he hadn't listened. Tails didn't reply to any of his messages checking up on the fox. All of his calls went to voicemail. He tried to focus on his mission and not let his overwhelming worry affect his hero work.
But when he got an alert that Tails' comm watch's battery had died while in the middle of a battle with Eggman, he couldn't wait anymore. Tails was forgetful sometimes; he got too absorbed in his inventions or his most recent shenanigans, but the one thing Tails never forgot was to charge his watch. In the time since the watches were invented, Tails' had died a total of once. And that was partly Sonic's fault— he forgot to put it on the charger after Tails had explicitly asked him. He was always scolding Team Sonic for their terrible charging habits, with Sonic being the worst offender. Something had to be horribly wrong if his watch had died. He was meant to be at home; there's no reason for it to have possibly run out of charge when there are outlets in every room of their house.
Texting and fighting isn't an easy thing to do, but Sonic made it work as he pulled out his phone and frantically sent messages to the only person he could think of to help: Shadow.
To his utter shock, Shadow agreed to help him out. And later, during his update call, he offered to stay with Tails while Sonic finished up the mission.
So yeah, he's running a little slower than he should be. He's infinitely worried about his brother, but Shadow's there. Shadow wouldn't let anything happen under his watch. And his injuries hurt, man. Amy tried to wrap him up as best as she could, but out in the middle of nowhere, with the only civilisation being Eggman bases, they didn't really have the sterile environment required to treat wounds. Sonic assured them he'd be fine, and they assured him that they could clean up the rest while he rushed home to be with Tails. He'll have to thank them later on for that. He knows he's bleeding through some of the bandages already; he didn't even give them a chance to stop bleeding before shooting off at the speed of sound. His legs ache with the impact of each step, but he dares not stop now. He's so close to home—to Tails.
Memories flash in his head as he runs. He's barely paying attention to the environment ahead of him, messily avoiding trees and bushes. He's lucky it's mostly smooth sailing right now, not a city or jungle. That would require too much dodging for his current mental state.
Tails has been sick before. Of course, he has. The kit is Sonic's brother, rolling around outside in the mud and rain is a usual Tuesday for them, and that tends to result in the occasional common cold for the brothers. Sonic shouldn't be panicking this much. Tails can take care of himself. He's- he's a competent kid.
But when Shadow called, he said that Tails hadn't even moved from his bed. Has he not eaten? Shadow didn't tell him the extent of his fever, but it had to be bad, right? Bad enough for Shadow to stay and help. He had said Tails' sickness 'developed'. What does that even mean? Could Tails have died, alone and sick, while Sonic fought some stupid robots across the globe? He's left Tails so many times before; he thought it'd be fine. All the questions swirl around painfully in his head.
He can't help but think back to the first time Tails had truly gotten ill. All those years ago, before they had a place to call home, it was just Sonic and Tails, the dynamic duo.
Well, they weren't so dynamic back then. The wind whips around Sonic, his pace slowing ever so slightly as vivid memories flash through his mind, shooting anxiety through his veins. They had just been two kids—one mute, blue hoglet and his tiny, two-tailed fox pup. Sonic didn't know what he was doing when he took up caring for Tails. All he knew was that he couldn't leave the kid behind. Everything was going as well as you could hope— until winter, that is.
Sonic still remembers the sting of that specific winter. It sends a chill through his spine, even as he feels the lush green grass lashing past him and warm night air on his face. It was his first one with Tails— and oh, how he wishes it had been a happy one. One full of Christmas lights and presents. But life wasn't so kind. Tails had caught the flu, and Sonic tried his best, but nothing he did seemed to bring that sky-high fever down. The kit would whine and keen painfully, and all Sonic could do was hold his tiny body close, huddled in a small cave with a barely lit fire, and pray silently to the stars that the poor kid would make it.
How they survived that was truly unknown to Sonic. Maybe Gaia took pity on them and gave them just enough energy to endure until spring. Sonic never questioned it, but he also never took it for granted. From that moment, his sole focus in life was to provide a safe life for Tails. They didn't settle down until much later, but before that, Sonic always made sure that their winters were spent in lodges or hotels. Sometimes, the odd mobian elder would be kind enough to let the two kids crash for a while during the worst of it. But he promised himself that never— never would Sonic let the kid stay out in the freezing cold again. He'd never have to be so sick again, holding on for dear life, while Sonic stood by helplessly.
'Never'. Sonic scoffs at himself in disappointment and speeds up again. What a sorry excuse of a promise. Here he was, years later, with many successfully eradicated flus under his belt. He's supposed to be wiser now. Smarter. His baby brother wasn't supposed to ever experience that again. But his hands clench into fists as Shadow's voice flashes in his head,
"It seems that his sickness had developed, and he couldn't handle it alone. He had a fever—I think he's been in bed since you left. I made him take a cold bath to get the fever down."
To the average person, Shadow's voice would've seemed just as monotone and uncaring as ever, but Sonic isn't average. Not when it comes to Shadow and his quirks. Sonic could hear the slight softness as he spoke. He could see the furrow of Shadow's brow while he relayed the information to the blue hedgehog. Shadow— The Ultimate Lifeform— was worried. That was enough to kick Sonic's guilt and panic into overdrive.
Tails had gotten sick enough to cause concern. And Sonic— Sonic willingly left his brother to fend for himself. He chose Eggman over his responsibility as a caretaker and guardian to the best little fox he could ever ask for.
The rational side of him, the side that sounds suspiciously like Tails, Shadow and Amy all combined (and all yelling at the same time), tries to reason with him. There's no way that Amy and Knuckles could've done that mission alone. They needed him; his speed and his presence were what lured Eggman into their hands. If Sonic didn't go, there's a big possibility that Eggman would've just packed up and left to terrorise another place until Sonic did show up. There was no choice to be made. And Tails encouraged him to go. It's not his fault things worked out this way.
Sonic's never really been one to listen to his rational side, though. It's probably a character flaw, he knows. But how can he listen to reason when his brother was sick in bed, alone for nearly a week? Shame eats at him from all sides, burying deep into his chest. Not even running at top speeds could shake it off him.
Consumed by his thoughts, he doesn't even notice when the environment changes from barren grassy plains to the loops and forests of Green Hill. The scent of ocean water hits his nose as he runs by one of the many beaches Team Sonic frequents, calming him ever so slightly. He must have been on autopilot for a while, it seems. He'd usually jump for joy at the sight of home, even at a distance. He feels his chaos energy start to reach out, saying hello to the place it knows so well—and the people, it seems. Sonic's energy instantly starts mingling with another, one so familiar it might as well be his own. Shadow. The feeling draws a brief smile from the tired hero. Red and blue mingle together from afar, eager, pulling Sonic closer to his home on command. He's at his front door before he knows it, creaking it open gently and stepping in.
He closes it behind him, kicking off his shoes and relishing in the feeling of home. For just a moment, all the pain and exhaustion from the past days are covered in the soft scent of spices and lavender. Two scents he doesn't usually associate with his house, but make him relax nonetheless. He doesn't notice his eyes slipping closed as he just stands there, drained.
"Sonic?" A painfully soft voice calls his name. He doesn't have the strength to startle. His chaos energy would've told him if there was danger nearby, so he's probably safe. Besides, the way that voice calls his name, so fondly...
Sonic, with more effort than he should need, peels his eyes open to look at the voice. It's Shadow. Standing there in all his perfect glory. Sonic's eyes scan him for a second, trying to make sense of why Shadow is in his living room, but also taking the opportunity to just look at him. Shadow is as pristine as always, but something about him seems lighter than usual. His expression is open, no hint of a scowl or frown at the sight of Sonic. He seems relaxed. The TV is playing cartoons behind him. The scene is so foreign, yet so comfortable.
"Shads." Sonic finally speaks. He notes how quiet he sounds. He swears he sounded more enthusiastic when he last talked with Amy. Maybe that run took more energy than he thought.
"You didn't... have to wait up for me." He's too tired to move. He hasn't even fully processed Shadow's presence here; all he knows is that the scent of lavender slowly coming closer to him is familiar and soothing to his frayed nerves. He blinks, and suddenly Shadow is in front of him, looking up at him with kind eyes. His air shoes weren't there a second ago, were they? Sonic could've sworn that his shoes sat alone at the door.
"Yes, I did," Shadow scoffs. No, that wasn't a scoff. That was gentle. Shadow's being gentle.
All of this is too confusing right now. He doesn't even feel like he's real. Sonic blinks, but then, like rebooting a system, he's struck with the reason that Shadow's here in the first place. All the panic from before rises again, grounding him painfully as he looks around,
"Tails- Is he okay? Where-?" He feels woozy. Something takes hold of his shoulders, and he nearly flinches at the contact. His eyes meet Shadow's red gaze, staring at him intensely as he sighs.
"Miles is fine. He's sleeping in your room-" In Sonic's room? Why-, "I had to clean his. He's clean, fed, medicated and resting. Now breathe." Those warm hands that grip his shoulders start to caress his arms. He listens to Shadow, what else can he do? The first inhale feels like breathing in needles, but he pushes through, and the second is refreshing. He takes in Shadow's words. Tails is clean. He's eaten, he's been given medicine, and he's asleep. Everything's okay. The third breath is calm, but he feels the tears spring in his eyes as he looks at Shadow gratefully. He doesn't even know why, but the urge to burst into tears right now is overwhelming him. But he can't, not in front of Shadow, no less.
"Thank you," Sonic starts, breathing shakily again, "You- thank you. I know you said you'd stay, but I wasn't expecting you to actually stay after he fell asleep-"
It's true. The fact that Shadow's willing here still speaks volumes. He could've put the child to bed and left. Sonic would've appreciated it all the same, but instead, he stayed, waiting on the couch for Sonic to get home. A warm feeling bubbles beneath all the anxiety,
"I owe you so much; you can go now. I'm so sorry I took so lon-" Shadow sighs again, and Sonic's face is enveloped in warmth as two gloved hands travel up to cup his cheeks. Sonic stands, stunned by the display, but he can't help melting into the contact. It's been a long week of practically no affection, and he leans into it like a moth to a flame.
"Sonic. It's alright. You don't owe me." Shadow's thumb brushes along Sonic's cheekbone, under his eye and across a healing cut. Sonic's eyes flicker tiredly. All too soon, the hands retreat, Sonic unconsciously chasing after them. Instead, Shadow grabs his hand and leads him slowly through the house. Sonic follows, though he utterly yearns for the feeling of Shadow holding his face again. He lets Shadow guide him blindly, stumbling up the stairs purely using his years of memory instead of his eyes. He hears a door open, a light flick on, and then Shadow's voice telling him to sit.
He hops up onto the bathroom counter, enjoying the cool surface on his thighs. They're practically burning from exertion— Sonic loves to run, but at what point does it go from enjoyment to necessity? Shadow groans, but Sonic ignores it. Shadow's used to Sonic; whatever he's groaning about is likely not a big deal. Shadow's hands are gentle as he prods at Sonic's bandages, slowly undoing them with a tenderness Sonic would usually tease him for. Right now, though, it makes him feel cared for, and he doesn't know what to do with that.
"What are you doing?" He asks, more out of the need to hear it out loud than actual curiosity. Shadow is silent for a second, but then-
"I'm tending to your wounds. These bandages are terrible." Shadow tosses out the words, but they fall gently instead of stinging. Sonic's heart flutters slightly. (He also feels a comical bit of offence on Amy's behalf for the jab at his bandages.)
"You don't have to do that, Shads." The use of Shadow's nickname causes his ear to flick, and he looks at Sonic, pausing his ministrations to scan the blue hedgehog. Then, his face twists, and before Sonic can ask what's wrong, he speaks,
"I want to." Shadow admits. His voice is slightly strained, but Sonic can tell he isn't lying. Another small part of Sonic's anxieties melts away. He wants to. Shadow the Hedgehog wants to help Sonic. Isn't that crazy? Sonic softens at the words, nodding and shutting his mouth as Shadow continues his work. His touch is light as he unwounds the last of the ragged bandages. Sonic can feel Shadow's eyes scanning the gnarly cuts and abrasions littered below his fur, staining its usual bright cobalt. A question lingers in the black hedgehog's eyes. Sonic answers it before it can be verbalised.
"Eggman really outdid himself this time." That is an understatement. Sonic has no clue why, but Eggman decided to take ALL his robots for a test drive on a random, unassuming weekday (What day is today anyway? Sonic can't remember), and he made it Sonic's problem to clean up,
"Nothing a little butt-kicking can't beat, though. We sent him running." Sonic tries to push pride into his voice, but all he can muster up is a sly smile. They indeed won, but it was a hard-fought battle, especially with just the three of them against Eggman's horde of robots...and his 'special surprises'. Sonic nearly shudders at the memory. Why did he have to test his new inventions when Sonic was already distracted? Why did his new invention have to be—
"You need to bathe." Shadow's gruff voice cuts his spiral off. Sonic blinks and then scowls at the thought of it. He knows he's dirty, but the effort it would take to bathe seems far out of his reach. Shadow rolls those pretty, red eyes at him,
"Shower or bathtub. Choose." He commands, pinning Sonic with a withering stare. A shred of his usual defiance courses through him, and he stares right back at Shadow, squinting his eyes. Then his eyes start burning, then drooping, and he feels his already sore neck getting worse by the second, so he relents. Shadow wins this round. Sonic pouts, but pushes off the counter, pulling off his gloves and socks with little care. He doesn't even think about the implications of undressing right there, with Shadow standing next to him.
"Call me when you're done," Shadow says, and he turns away. A bolt of panic courses through Sonic. Is he leaving? No- Sonic doesn't want to be alone right now,
"Stay?" He says before he can stop himself. He sounds pathetic; he nearly recoils as Shadow turns to look at him again, but something in the other hedgehog's gaze stops that initial reflex. Shadow nods after a moment and sits down on the toilet cover. As Sonic steps into the shower and turns the water on to cold, he finds himself very appreciative that Shadow forced him to clean up. The cool water soothes every inch of him, refreshing him from days of dirt and grime. He tries to be careful as he scrubs, avoiding any injuries, but he hisses as the soap runs down into the cuts anyway. He lets himself enjoy the shower; he'd usually be in and out within a half second, but he takes a moment to think while the water rains down on him.
Why doesn't he want to be alone? After a mission, he would normally come home to a quiet house. Tails would either be asleep or tinkering in his garage. Sonic would bandage his cuts by himself, nothing but the quiet of the night to keep him company. Then, according to the time, he'd either go to bed or start making Tails breakfast. He's accustomed to doing things alone, so why was he so petrified when Shadow tried to leave him? Maybe it's the stress of the mission, that's it. Or perhaps it's the feeling of the first gentle touch in a long time that has him melting at Shadow's presence. He can't remember the last time someone has touched him so softly. Between Amy's tackles and Knuckles' bear hugs, Tails' playful fighting and Rouge's wings slapping him from behind, someone just...holding him steady is so alien. It's the way he holds Tails when the kit has a nightmare, or when he starts to doubt his place in their team.
He turns the shower off before he can get lost in his head again. He's been doing an awful lot of thinking in the last few hours. His head hurts. As soon as he steps out of the shower, a towel is pelted over him. His quills spike up at the assault (or, as much as they can spike while wet, he guesses), and he's about to yell indignantly until he hears the soft chuckle pass through Shadow's lips. The sound of Shadow's laughter is such a rare occurrence that Sonic's face instantly breaks out in a smile underneath the towel (still draped dramatically over his head). How he wishes he could hear that laugh more often; just one little giggle and Sonic's heart is flipping in his chest. He dries himself off to distract from that feeling.
By the time he finishes drying himself, his fur is sticking in every direction, fluffing out and looking like he's been electrocuted. He ignores it, hopping back onto the counter with the towel still around his shoulders.
"What now?" He asks, letting Shadow take the lead.
"Now, we bandage."
Shadow floats around the small bathroom as if he knows it by heart. Without Sonic's prompting, Shadow locates everything he'll need for his mission: bandages, alcohol swabs, tweezers. He moves around with confidence, hands steady as he begins the task of cleaning and bandaging Sonic's many wounds.
Sonic would usually fill the silence. He should at least try to seem normal, yap, or make a joke, give Shadow a hard time about this bout of charity he's giving the blue blur, anything. But Sonic can't muster the energy to open his mouth. His eyes follow every movement Shadow makes. Deft hands doing such a delicate task with nothing less than absolute precision. Prod at a wound, pick up a swab, clean the wound (ouch ouch that BURNS), pick up the bandages, bandage wound, rinse and repeat. It's a mesmerising little dance. Not enough to keep Sonic's mind from wandering again. With each injury, Sonic tries to remember the story behind it. The one on his leg is from narrowly avoiding a laser attack. The one Shadow's cleaning on his arm is a lucky shot from a badnick—he thinks it was a Motobug, but he can't say for sure. The gash across his chest was from...Metal. Right. Sonic nearly forgot about Eggman's little surprises.
Metal Sonic is one of the things Sonic hates the most in this world, and that's saying something coming from the blue hero. Sonic tries to not hate—that's why the doctor's still alive. Hatred brings nothing but pain to everyone involved, and if Sonic had led with hate in his heart, he wouldn't have all the allies and friends he has with him today. He wouldn't have Shadow with him. This whole scene would've never existed.
But Metal. He's tried with the robot. Yes, he is an emotionless bot, but they thought the same thing about Omega and Germal, and now look at them! Germal is a caretaker for the sweetest girl in the entire universe, and Omega would kill for Rouge and Shadow's safety. So why not Metal? But Metal just HAD to be loyal. And unkillable. With all of his moves and skills meant to perfectly match (and overpower) Sonic, every tussle with the robot ends in bloodshed and pain for Team Sonic. They win, of course (They always win, they have to), but Metal gets too close to winning for Sonic to be comfortable. Not to mention the number of times Metal has been alarmingly close to killing Sonic outright. Sonic is familiar with death, but there's something extra startling about seeing a caricature of your own face stabbing you straight through the stomach and leaving you for dead. It makes the dark, tired part of Sonic want to destroy the robot until there's nothing left for Eggman to recover. It's useless, though, because the doctor will just make another. And another. Then an army. All to kill Sonic. Maybe he shouldn't get too comfortable with death, one of these days he's gonna slip up. If anyone else slips up, Sonic will save them. Who's gonna save Sonic when he inevitably miscalculates and ends up with a blade through him?
The kinder part of Sonic, though, knows that there's something behind Metal's exterior. Sonic just knows it. Metal has hesitated in battle before. He's looked at the world beyond Eggman's commands, despite his staunch loyalty. He's thought and felt. Sonic just—Sonic can't reach him. He's tried, Gaia knows he's tried. He's liberated the robot so many times, but Metal always goes back to the Doctor. Metal-
"Metal was there," he finds himself saying quietly. He needs to get these thoughts out of his head. Shadow's hand pauses as he's wrapping the last injury. He's silent for a second, but eventually makes a noise, a sign to keep talking.
"Eggman gave him some upgrades...heh," The laugh Sonic attempts falls flat. He could keep talking about Metal, all his swirling, contradicting thoughts, but Metal isn't the brunt of his concerns this time. Metal has been perfected by Eggman; he gets improvements here and there, but he wasn't out there for testing. Something else was,
"He also brought out a new experiment. Metal Tails."
That is where his concerns lie. Shadow lets out a quiet gasp, and Sonic doesn't think he even realised he did it.
The image of Metal Tails flashes in Sonic's head. He remembers how he felt, seeing a flash of yellow on the battlefield and stopping in his tracks. The sight of the robot wearing his brother's face hit him like a metaphorical slap in the face, followed by a real slap from the sharp metal hands, trying to mimic the fox's claws. He kicked into action after that, but every glimpse of yellow had his mind reeling back to the metal image of Tails at home, sick in bed, not answering his calls.
"I know it wasn't him. It wasn't even good! I think he hit Metal more than he hit us." Sonic lets out a sad laugh at that. It's true. While the Metal Tails was initially a shock, it was still in beta testing. The bot was clunky; it packed a heavy hit, but it had no agility. Still,
"But seeing his face on...a robot. Knowing he was home, sick and alone. It got to me. I was stupid. Kept making mistakes." Shame coats his voice. He can't even look Shadow in the eyes. Shadow's hand retreats from tying the last bandage, and briefly, Sonic wonders if Shadow is disappointed in him, too. He's a hero; he's not supposed to get distracted on the job. He's supposed to be better than this.
The hands return, however, resting warmly on Sonic's waist. The light touch sends shivers down Sonic's spine. Shadow's thumb is idly caressing his side, and oh, he finally understands all that stuff Amy spews about love languages and physical touch. Never has someone held him like this. It's too intimate. Too soft for him to deserve. He's the hero, the one who catches the girls by their waist when they fall and bridal carries them to safety. There's never been a need for someone to hold Sonic like this. Rough, chaotic, obnoxious Sonic.
"You weren't stupid, you were worried," Shadow says in a voice so delicate that Sonic nearly bursts into tears. It must show on his face, because Sonic doesn't have any other explanation for the next thing Shadow does. Shadow's grip on his waist tightens, and then he's being lifted. His legs automatically wrap around Shadow to steady himself as he processes their new position.
He should be freaked out. Sure, he and Shadow are close, and maybe Sonic hasn't been very subtle about his feelings regarding the darker hedgehog, but they've never done anything like this. He should keep his self-control, but Shadow's holding him like he's precious. Like something to be loved. He melts. He digs his face into Shadow's shoulder, breathing in his scent (lavender and coffee. It's so rich it suffocates him, but he doesn't ever wanna pull away) as he shudders.
And then Shadow's hand is in his quills. He's pretty sure the whine he just let out was the most embarrassing noise he's ever made, but he doesn't care, because Shadow's carding through his quills and it feels good.
"Wanna check on Miles?" Shadow's smooth voice cuts through the fog developing in Sonic's head, and just like that, his enjoyment is eclipsed by his need to see his brother. He nods into Shadow's shoulder, a bit frantic.
And Ah. There's that laugh again. Shadow huffs out a laugh as he walks to Sonic's room. Sonic might be exaggerating, but that sound is the most beautiful thing he's ever heard.
Sonic is set down on his bed, the room dark and cosy, and he turns his attention towards the fox-shaped lump burrowed in his sheets. His hand instinctively grabs at Shadows as he surveys his brother. The kit looks fine—well, Sonic can't see much of him, but his gentle snores are echoing through the room. He looks so small here, just like that little baby he took in all those years ago. Guilt eats at his heart.
Shadow gets his attention by squeezing his hand,
"You can wake him— he needs another dose of medicine," Shadow whispers. Sonic still hesitates. Does he have a right to disrupt the kit's sleep after leaving him, sick and alone? He looks to Shadow for something, and he gets a nod. He braces himself, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves,
"Tails? Buddy?" He shakes the kit gently, and an annoyed groan is heard from somewhere beneath the blanket. The sound alone makes Sonic smile.
"Wha?" Tails mumbles, and his head pops up to look at the offender who dares ruin his sleep. He squints, trying to figure out what's going on, so Sonic speaks to make it easier.
"Hey bro, it's me. I'm home," he says fondly, gazing at his brother, not so subtly scanning his face for any distress. Tails lights up, smiling happily as his churring kicks up. The sound instantly calms the lingering nerves; it's so distinctly Tails. He associates the sound with quiet nights cuddled together after a storm. It's his brother. Tails' eyes drift over to Shadow, and—to Sonic's shock— he churrs more at the sight of the dark hedgehog. He conceals his surprise well, he hopes, but he doesn't know what exactly happened in the couple of hours that Shadow was here for this to be Tails' reaction. Tails reaches over to him for a hug, and Sonic obliges.
"Welcome home, you win?" Sonic laughs. Of all the questions.
"Of course we did! I'll tell you about it tomorrow."
He smooths down the fur on the fox's head, content for the first time since he left home. His brother is here. He's safe, he didn't die—no hospitals needed, no IV drips, it's okay.
So why does he still feel a deep, unending pit of guilt?
Shadow's hold on Sonic's hand drops, and his head turns to look confusedly at his companion. Shadow looks pained to leave, but-
"I have to get the medicine." He insists, and he breaks free of Sonic's grip. Sonic can't help but stare at his retreating figure. His hand, now empty, clenches into a fist as he turns his attention back to his brother.
"How are you feeling?" Sonic asks, worry bleeding into his voice. Tails groans into him, pulling back to look at him,
"Terrible," the kit whines. Sonic coos sympathetically, feeling for his brother's pain.
"I'm sorry I left."
Tails' brows furrow, and he looks at Sonic like he's grown three heads. He shakes his head,
"No, you had to go. And Shadow took good care of me," he promises, smiling lightly,
"Really good care, actually. It was weird. But nice. He was nice" It's Sonic's turn to furrow his brows. Sure, he knew Shadow would take care of his brother, but he was nice? Nice enough for Tails to purr louder as he spotted Shadow's figure behind Sonic? Well, this is a development he can get behind. Sonic hums,
"I'm glad. I- I didn't know if to call him, but there wasn't anyone else. Rouge still isn't back, and it was too late to message Vanilla-" He's cut off by his brother scoffing lightly,
"It's fine, Sonic. Really. Now, tell me about your mission." The kit demands sleepily. Sonic wants to keep pressing, keep apologising and atoning for his absence, but his kit looks at him with those sleepy, wide eyes,
"You won't remember any of it," he laughs, but Tails shrugs,
"Then you'll tell me again tomorrow. Talk. I missed you."
The words hit Sonic's heart painfully, but he obliges. He starts talking about his mission, knowing full well the fox isn't processing any of his words. He gets one day into his adventure when Shadow returns, and Tails' face sours suddenly. Sonic whips his head around, wondering if Shadow's presence was the cause, but after a minute of scanning, he finds the culprit. The horrifying cough medicine.
Sonic doesn't know what depths of hell he bought that bottle from; all he knows is that it tastes like the worst thing you can ever imagine, and it works wonders when fighting the flu. Two or three doses and you're good to go. Such a shame it tastes worse than dirt. (He knows from experience—he's eaten dirt many times, and that medicine is most definitely worse.) He cracks up a little bit, having seen (and worn) that exact face of disgust many times in his life.
He starts to move, ready to take the medicine, when Shadow shocks him once again. The hedgehog kneels next to Tails, spooning the cough syrup into his mouth and quickly following it with a bottle of water. He watches Shadow rub Tails' arm sympathetically as the kit's face twists with the vile taste.
To see Shadow act caring to Sonic is one thing, but seeing Shadow take care of Tails? Sonic's heart is about to explode. He watches, slack-jawed, almost in a trance as Shadow then hands the pills to his brother. He's enthralled. He's enamoured. Something about watching Shadow gently handle Tails, treating the kit like his own, making him feel comfortable and safe.
He's in love. OH, he's in love.
But he's been in love, so if he was in love before, he doesn't even know what to call these feelings spilling out of him. The quiet, domestic scene triggers fireworks in his brain. He wants to frame this moment forever in his mind. He never wants to leave. And it all kicks into overdrive as Shadow's eyes turn to meet his questioningly. Shadow's eyes widen at the emotion dripping out of Sonic, and the blue hedgehog is delighted to see a flush of colour lighting up Shadow's face as he looks away shyly. Shyly! Shadow the Hedgehog, blushing and shy at the hands of Sonic's gaze. Is this what true power feels like?
Shadow clears his throat,
"Tails, your room is clean, if you'll be more comfortable there." Tails nods in response, his voice causing Sonic to break out of his smitten staring,
"No offence, Sonic, but I want my bed."
Tails gets up slowly, stumbling and shivering at the cold air that hits him. Sonic is by his side before he can blink, ready to carry his brother. He's not letting the poor kid walk, not when he can see the cough medicine already kicking in and making him drowsier than before. A hand on his shoulder stops him, though,
"Don't, you're injured. I'll do it," he assures. Okay, he helped the kid take medicine, but carrying him too? Sonic shoots an unsure glance at Shadow, but steps back, nodding. Shadow scoops up the kit, and-
Oh. Tails' head is instantly buried comfortably into Shadow's shoulder. And if the previous sight didn't kill Sonic, this one would.
Shadow. Holding Tails. Shadow, holding his baby brother, looking as natural as he's ever looked. The soft moonlight frames them as he starts to walk. The kit's tails wind around Shadow, and what little of his face is showing seems to be content and happy.
This. This is what's been missing his whole life. He never thought anyone else would fit into their little family. It's always been him and Tails—alone. Friends come and go, and sure, Sonic somewhat considers them a part of his extended family—but no one ever fit so truly with the brothers. But Shadow, aloof and antisocial Shadow, has come into his life and managed to suit them flawlessly. Shadow, cleaning and bandaging Sonic's wounds. Shadow, waiting at home for him after a mission. Shadow, putting the child to bed after brushing his fur and making him food. It's perfect. It's so perfect that Sonic doesn't believe he's had to live without it all this time. He trails after them, happy to take in the scene for as long as possible.
The light in Tails' room is on, and the room is clean and fresh. Shadow did say he cleaned it. Tails breathes in, smiling gratefully as Shadow puts him down gently on the bed. Sonic makes quick work of sitting next to him, petting his fur down and tucking him into his blankets.
"Sonic?" Tails' quiet voice calls. Sonic hums in response.
"'m sorry I couldn't take care of myself this time." Sonic's heart drops. He coos sadly, shaking his head,
"No, baby, you did just fine. It's my job- our job to take care of you; you're still a kid. Don't blame yourself, I'm so proud of you," he reassures, trying to hide the sadness and guilt in his voice. His baby brother blames himself for this. What did he do to get such a sweet kid? Tails deserves so much more than Sonic gives him. Tails' eyes slip closed as he mumbles,
"I love you."
"I love you, too, little buddy. Get some rest."
As soon as he's sure Tails is asleep, he exhales, a sound of stress and exhaustion. He doesn't even know when his mask fell into place. He refuses to let his brother see him in this state. He instinctively put up his walls, pretending to be normal for just a bit while his brother was awake, but now, with no one but Shadow to see him, he slumps, bones aching. Shadow is next to him, then, letting Sonic lean his weight into his side. The feeling of not having to hold himself up anymore is too overpowering, so he hums again, closing his eyes. Shadow pulls him upwards, and he lets himself move with the force. He's lifted again. Wow, this is nice. He doesn't even have to get up and walk this time. It feels like less than a second passes before he's put down again, this time onto his soft bed. He melts into the familiar material, sighing happily.
"Rest. You've had a long couple of days." Shadow's voice filters through the dark room. Sonic shakes his head, a few quills falling into his face. He doesn't want to rest. If he rests, then this day will be over. He doesn't want this to be over yet. He's scared it's all a dream. That he'll wake up on the battlefield with a metallic version of his brother hovering over him and Eggman's maniacal laughter in the background. Shadow insists, though, his hand tucking the quills back into place gently.
"Yes. Go to sleep. I'll stick around, make sure Tails is okay while you rest." Shadow turns to leave, and an intense feeling of wrong pools in his chest. He reaches out, grabbing desperately at Shadow's wrist.
"Stay?" He asks hopefully. He doesn't know why he's asking; Shadow has no reason to stay anymore. Tails is safe; his job is over. Sonic has no right to ask the hedgehog to stay any longer after pulling him away from his rare relaxation time. GUN barely lets him off as is, and Sonic dares to ask for more of his precious time. He can't help it, though. He slips his hand down from the other's wrist, fitting it securely into his gloved hand.
"Please? I-" He can't admit this, can he? He can't admit how much he needs—no, wants Shadow. He should feel embarrassed. Shadow sits on the bed beside him, prompting,
"You?"
"I don't want you to go." He really doesn't want Shadow to go. "I want you here, with me." He tugs at Shadow's hand again, searching his gaze. Shadow's eyes linger for a second, and Sonic's scared he's gone too far this time.
"Okay, I'll stay." He relents, eyes softening. The reply brings a smile to Sonic's face. He'll stay. Thank Gaia.
One more tug has Shadow lying next to him, side by side on the bed. Sonic kicks the covers out from under them, shifting around until he's covered them both. Shadow's stiff as a rock, he notices. He tries to keep to himself, settling far enough away from Shadow for the other to feel comfortable. He snuggles into the covers, inhaling the lingering scent of his brother's shampoo, mixing with Shadow's lavender. It smells like pure comfort. Sonic turns to look at Shadow, still smiling.
He nearly jumps when something touches his side. It's a hand, barely even there, but Shadow's eyes hold a question,
'Is this okay?'
Sonic says nothing, and the hand crawls over his skin, settling on his back, tangling with his quills. Sonic feels himself falter at the sweet contact. He doesn't deserve this. He shudders and pulls himself closer anyway, because he is a selfish hedgehog. He knows he shouldn't indulge, but Shadow's warmth is so inviting, and his touch is so reverent. He didn't even realise he was shivering until Shadow's grip tightened and warmed his aching body.
He suddenly needs to confess his sins. He needs to remind Shadow how much of a mess he is. This blue hedgehog, who pretends to be a hero and walks around with a mask of fake confidence, doesn't deserve to be held, not when he messed up so badly. How many times in those long few days did Tails call for Sonic? How many times did his stomach grumble as he tried desperately to get up and eat something? How much did he shiver at night, fever spiking and throat aching? How long did his baby brother suffer before Sonic finally decided to do his job and check on him?
"I should've been here. I shouldn't have left him— I should've known," he trembles. His face is buried in Shadow's chest fur. He can't face him. Shadow hums, but Sonic barely registers it,
"I left him. All alone. He could've died! You-" Sonic gulps, breathing growing erratic, "-you said he didn't eat for days. All for that stupid mission, stupid Eggman and his stupid robots. I left him for- for days-" He's shushed quietly, Shadow's head resting on top of his,
"Sonic. You couldn't have known. It's not your fault." He reassures. Sonic can't believe him, though he knows Shadow would never lie to him. He lets out a pathetic noise, pushing away to finally look at Shadow in the eyes. He needs the other to understand.
"I just- He's my baby-"
And that's just it, isn't it? Sonic raised Tails, taught the kid everything he knows. From the way he speaks and fights to the way he cares for people, every aspect was taken from Sonic and altered to fit Tails' personality. Sonic still remembers when the kid would toddle around behind him, copying his spin dash haphazardly as Sonic cheered for him. He remembers the first time Tails invented something; he can still see the exact moment the stars shone in the kit's eyes as he unlocked his lifelong talent. He's Sonic's baby boy. His son, his brother and his best friend all mixed into one perfect kid. He's Sonic's entire world.
"He depends on me, and I just left him when he was sick." Tears are spilling down from Sonic's eyes now. He tried so hard to keep them under control, but the way Shadow's looking at him, the guilt he feels bubbling under his skin, it's all too much.
"I knew I should've stayed, but Amy and Knuckles couldn't handle this alone- and Tails- he kept telling me he'd be fine. So I left-"
"Sonic," Shadow's voice is a whisper, but it stops Sonic's rambling instantly. He feels Shadow's hand drifting upwards, until it finally lands on his cheek, cupping his face once again. His hand holds Sonic's face gently, as if he's made of glass. He thumbs away a tear, letting it soak into the worn fabric of his gloves.
"Breathe."
The word kickstarts Sonic's lungs; he takes a deep breath in, bringing his hand up to rest on Shadow's. He's overreacting. He knows he is. Everything turned out fine. But— his memories won't leave him in peace. Those images from years ago are embedded in his vision.
"When-" Is he really going to do this? To tell Shadow about this story— a story that only he knows? Tails was too young to remember the events of that winter, but Sonic— he can never forget.
"When I found Tails- I didn't know a thing about taking care of a kid. I couldn't even take care of myself." Sonic still remembers his life before Tails, however brief it may have been. Food was a rarity, rest even more so. His earliest memories always involved running free and fighting. There was always danger around the corner for someone with Sonic's power. But then Tails toddled into his life, and suddenly his wild, reckless lifestyle was put on hold to become a caretaker.
"I tried to feed him and keep him warm at night, taught him sign language so he could understand me-" Another point of contention. Sonic rarely spoke back then. He had to teach Tails at least the basics of sign language so he could properly communicate with the kid.
"But eventually, Tails got sick. It was winter, and we didn't have a home yet. I didn't know how to- he nearly died, Shadow-" The earlier feelings he felt on his run home return tenfold, he chokes as he spits out the words. This time, though, he isn't alone. No wind whipping around him, reminding him of the chill of those terrifying winter nights. No, this time, Shadow holds him closer, pressing his forehead to Sonic's. His thumb idly wipes the tears as they fall. It gives Sonic the strength to keep talking, to keep exposing his tightly kept secrets and fears.
"He was so sick- I didn't know how to help him. All I could do was hold him while he shivered." He seeks out Shadow's warmth; the dark hedgehog doesn't seem to mind.
"I told myself that- that as long as I live, I'd never let that happen again. But I did. I-" He must sound like a broken record, but he just feels so damn guilty.
"I hear you, Sonic," Shadow murmurs into the space between them. Just the sound of his voice, so gentle and hushed, soothes Sonic's frayed nerves.
"It must have been scary, then. When Tails didn't respond?" Shadow asks. Scary doesn't begin to cover it. His hands wound into fists just thinking about it. The fear he felt when Tails' comm died was mortifying. It nearly sent him into shock right there on the battlefield. He nods in response, not knowing how to convey that amount of terror to someone. (He also knows that Shadow has felt that terror, too, maybe even more, actually. He sees it in the other's eyes when he's thinking about Maria.)
"I thought- I thought that I'd failed again. But I couldn't just abandon Amy and Knux in the middle of the mission-" It had felt like he was being torn apart. His duty as a hero and as a brother. If he had left the team, they might have won without him, but there was such a high chance that they would've lost. Eggman would've captured them, or worse, killed them. He feels Shadow's brow furrow against his,
"Sonic-" he starts, oh so gently, "-you didn't fail. Even when you didn't know what to do, he survived, thanks to you." He- what? Thanks to Sonic? Sonic had always written off Tails' survival as a miracle. To hear Shadow say that Sonic was to thank, it sounded wrong-
"You did the best you could. You were just a kid."
Oh. His eyes widen.
That's...that's the exact same words Sonic had said to Shadow, way back when he first learned about Maria.
It's no secret that Shadow is a deeply hurt individual. He was handed a cold, bitter hand, but he had one shining light: Maria Robotnik. But she was brutally killed in front of him, while he survived, supposedly 'The Ultimate Lifeform', yet unable to save the one thing that truly mattered. Then he was tossed into stasis by the very people who killed her.
When Sonic learnt of his story, any anger he had held for Shadow was erased in an instant, despite them being enemies at the time. All he saw was a hurting brother, mourning his sister in the only way he knew how.
He once admitted this to Shadow, after one of their fights. They were lying under the stars in a random field, both littered with injuries and dirt. Shadow pointed out the ARK, voice littered with regret as he mused,
'Maria would've loved to see it from here'.
Sonic, not being able to hold back, had turned to Shadow, eyes sincere as he talked,
"You know, you always talk like it was your fault, Shads. But- the way I see it, you were just a kid who got screwed over. You did your best. She would be proud."
He pretended to not notice the tears welling in his rival's eyes, turning his gaze back to the sky and taking in the glowing sight of the ARK in the distance— just another star in the vast expanse of space.
Now Shadow was here, holding him so delicately, repeating those same words back to him. Shadow doesn't lie. So, Sonic has no choice but to believe him. He relaxes instinctively, feeling slightly more at peace. It's like the puppet strings keeping him taut finally snap. His fist loosens, a semi-circle indents in his paws from the tense grip he's been holding all night. He breathes out a sigh, shaky but full of relief.
"Thank you," He whispers earnestly, "You didn't have to do any of this. Thank you for staying."
He can't convey how grateful he his.
"I'd do this a thousand times if you asked me." Shadow's words are joined by a sweet caress of Sonic's cheek. Sonic briefly startles at the unexpected words, but his face breaks into a smile as he processes them. Shadow wouldn't usually get all touchy-feely like this, and never would he admit to caring out loud. Shadow is an 'actions not words' kinda person, Sonic has become accustomed to that. Every eyeroll is equated to a smile, every huff a laugh. It's Shadow's language of love. To hear Shadow admit it—that, for Sonic, he'd do it all again- it lights up the dark pit in Sonic's heart. His frazzled brain is back to normal.
He's home, Tails is safe and taken care of. With the soothing of all his worries and old memories, he finds it hard to stay awake. He tries to keep his eyes on Shadow's face, wanting to soak in every last drop of the beautiful view. He doesn't know the next time he'll get to see the hedgehog's face up close like this. He can see the universe reflected in those glowing red eyes. He tries not to, but he ends up yawning directly into Shadow's face. He doesn't have the decency to act sheepish, though, especially as Shadow just rolls his eyes fondly.
"Sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."
"Promise?" He asks one last time, making sure he's not hallucinating.
"Promise." Shadow whispers into the night, pulling him so close that their bodies meld together. Sonic's eyes stay open just long enough to see Shadow's ruby eyes slip closed, a relaxed and content look on his face. Sonic closes his own eyes, sighing happily. Shadow's body is warm against him, making the last week feel like a distant bad dream. He lets his exhaustion take him, and for once, he doesn't struggle to slip away into sleep.