1 - 20 of 29 Works in Sad Men Jerking Off
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The world's largest gummy bear is 5lbs of cherry-flavored, gelatinized deliciousness, but Gale wants his partner back, not a snack.
(He fucks the gummy bear.)
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How can Gortash move on from his beloved Bhaalspawn?
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Nere finds a magic mirror and reflects on his past.
Also, Shovel is there.
Nere looked at himself from different angles in the ornate mirror, admiring his incredible bone structure, flawless skin, impressive height and luscious hair.
He was as close to a perfect specimen as a drow male could get, and Nere had always been praised for his noble features. It was one of the many reasons Nere’s come was so valuable.
Series
- Part 17 of Lula's Crack / Humor
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Sparks of electric fire trailed over his skin, under it, pebbled in the cool air; a thin shell strained to burst with all the things that filled him, all the fullness, the prickling sensation and heady, thrumming pleasure, the icy weight in his guts, and he could no longer distinguish between what he felt and what violated him—they were the same. Pinned—like an insect, stretched til breaking, on display.
He hadn't hadn’t been this hard in over a year. And he, Astarion Ancunín—was going to be sick.
Astarion Ancunín—pushing forty, newly escaped and without career nor job history—has just barely found his feet when his newest lover escalates their fledgling relationship far beyond what he expected to encounter outside of Cazador’s depravity. Has he made a terrible mistake in inviting Tavortheylinith Synaran—chainsmoking alcoholic, divorced, BDSM and femdom enthusiast—into his life?
Series
- Part 3 of Tavortheylinith
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When Gale can’t solve his orb problem on his own, he creates another Gale. This one knows what he really needs.
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They’d told him to leave the city, but Wulbren never had been much good at doing what he was told.
Wulbren kept coming here, day after day. He told himself he was hatching a plan to take back everything Barcus had stolen from him, deal with both the Gondian collaborators and his own traitorous crew. It had been weeks, though. And it felt more and more like he was watching his old life go on without him, powerless to take any of it back.
Series
- Part 5 of Lula's Crack / Humor
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When Iron Hands Lay Empty by Tavylia_Sin for longjensilver
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
29 Dec 2025
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With the Absolute gone and the city saved, Barcus Wroot is left to pick up the pieces of the Ironhand group, taking the mantle of leadership that he never truly wanted whilst the weight of its former bearer is far heavier on his mind. Was it wrong to cast Wulbren out? Did he even have a choice?...
Meanwhile, Wulbren Bongle wrestles with the silence where a friend once stood by his side, up until the day they parted. But it's too late to do anything about that...isn't it?
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A Dark and Stormy Night by chaus_cobolorum for LA_Knight
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
29 Nov 2025
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Set in Chapter 31 of A Murder of Ravens, Astarion and Gale both are reeling from different encounters with Raven, and find themselves needing to work out their feelings.
Series
- Part 1 of A Murder of Ravens
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Archduke Gortash is having a terrible day, and the gnomes hiding in his office can't wait to make it worse.
“So wait … Philomeen, if you didn’t bring any runepowder, what are we doing here?”
The gnome grinned at her, wisps of long hair falling out of her foxtail braid. She bit her lip with such mischief that Laridda’s heart was pounding when Philomeen leaned over and kissed her.
Series
- Part 1 of Lula's Crack / Humor
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Anakin doesn’t like sand… or himself. He takes his frustrations out on the desert.
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Something was wrong with Gale’s blood.
And occasionally, Gale wondered what other parts of himself the orb had managed to corrupt.
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For Schlocktober day 16: inedible cum -
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High Harper, please. I want to help.
Go home to your mother, boy.
The words rattle between Geraldus’ ears, colouring the tips of them a terrible pink. Gods, he would have begged her like a dog to stay if she had only let him. If she hadn’t turned on her heel and left with that world-weary look on her face.
He still would.
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for the good of the family by ginvael
Fandoms: House of the Dragon (TV), A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms
22 Feb 2025
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King Viserys is dead - long live King Daemon. To prevent discord between different branches of House Targaryen, Princess Rhaenyra is to marry Prince Baelon, thus uniting the family and staying in the fold.
But the Princess is clearly unhappy, and one has to wonder what upsets her more: the usurped throne or the thwarted hopes for a marriage of her choosing?
Either way, she gets her revenge.
or: an arranged marriage goes through, but Daemon is made to pay for it with his sanity
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Gale hadn’t taken the tadpole into consideration when he’d started fantasizing earlier— why should he have? He was distracted by something far more immediately pressing. But in hindsight, that was clearly a mistake. He should have thought about the fact that he and Rhune were laying only several feet apart instead of clear across the campsite from each other as they normally did, should have thought about the fact that they were separated only by a few thin layers of canvas. Should have thought about the possibility that the parasite in his head may interpret his yearning in such a way that could cause it to resonate with Rhune’s.
But he hadn’t. So now this was happening.
Series
- Part 3 of Woven Together
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His fingers itch for his guitar but he hasn't had a chance to get off in days, and he's finally got the room to himself, at least for now.
He's a hot-blooded young lad, got to get it wherever he can.
Set during the Inspiral Carpets era. -
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'Always back to the sea' he hears in his head, Orpheus' voice so clear as if the memory had walked into the camp with him, footsteps following his own.
Maybe he'd walked out of the Prism by the mountain pass, followed him here, never really alone all these thousands of years, Orpheus in his head his heart carved into his skin, indistinguishable from his own.
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Take Me With You, Together Let’s Bloom by grandlovescheme
Fandoms: House of the Dragon (TV), A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms
26 Apr 2024
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When Rhaenyra found a stranger looking at her from her mirror, she never expected to fall for him...
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He’ll take Orpheus to the sea again when he is free. Remind him what laughter is. To lick salt off your lips. To shake water from your skin. Whatever is left of our hair.
She reminded him what laughter was. A strange weightlessness across his chest. Brief, barely perceptible. Deniable. It has to be because of Orpheus, and that his freedom was so close. An answer so real he could touch it, fuck it, watch it want him because of his danger, dripping wet for the beast behind his eyes.
Series
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won't be satisfied 'til i'm under your skin by luthien_under_bough for ginvael
Fandoms: House of the Dragon (TV), A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms
18 Nov 2023
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Daemon’s aunt Rhaenyra was his first crush.
To be completely accurate—she was his only crush.
She was the first woman he jerked off to.
She’s still the woman he jerks off to.
(Even when he’s supposed to be impregnating her daughter. Maybe especially when he’s supposed to be impregnating her daughter.)
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In which Rhaenyra is Daemon's aunt — and also his mother-in-law.
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what if i loved you way too much by ginvael
Fandoms: House of the Dragon (TV), A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms
14 Nov 2023
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On the same day Rhaenyra lost her uncle, a new life was taking root in her already. When a boy was born, Rhaenyra knew her lover had come back to her - and it was a beautiful circle of life, for he never actually left her. Daemon was always with her - inside her, then by her side, then inside her again.
