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  1. 4

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    Summary

    Dan's just got home from tour, they've missed each other

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,397
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1,888
  2. 65

    Tags
    Summary

    Phil has eyes for a cute waiter. But Dan only has eyes for Phil.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,795
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    426
    Bookmarks:
    65
    Hits:
    7,275
  3. 15

    Tags
    Summary

    “You can’t lie to me,” he said simply. “Or rather, there’s no use. I’ve said them all before.”

    Or

    Younger Dan wakes up in a bed next to Now Dan. We all know what happens next.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,067
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    97
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1,513
  4. 5

    Tags
    Summary

    I used to watch the pigeons and be so afraid that they would die. But they will, and maybe some of the ones I used to see outside already have. I will too – I know that, always have. And I love to live, to drink coffee, to kiss you, to look at a dog and think about having one. I love to live, but I can live with life ending.

    And then I think about it having to happen to you and I can’t do it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    966
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    316
  5. 9

    Tags
    Summary

    “ dan nodded, letting out a soft yawn and nuzzling his face into phil’s chest again. his actions were quite kittenish, and thus quite adorable as well. phil was glad to know that only he got to see this, nobody else. all his, forever. ”

    —————————————————————————

    sleepy morning cuddles and kisses on a day off during the terrible influence tour

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,477
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    92
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1,105
  6. 22

    Tags
    Summary

    Phil thinks Dan is sexy all the time, but especially when he’s soaked with sweat and slightly out of breath.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,469
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    201
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    1,958
  7. 9

    Tags
    Summary

    An outsider's view of Dan and Phil's conversation right before Dan goes to his book event at Union Chapel.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    761
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    115
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    828
  8. 15

    Tags
    Summary

    The events that may have occured after Dan's birthday charity stream;) Starts of with fluff but ends up in a steamy hot shower

    ...

    He could never get over the sensation of Phil’s body trembling up against his own, the sound that escaped him, the movement of his body. He joined him in his elation, electricity coursing through them both like lightning.

    They stood, embraced in the warmth, for minutes that felt like hours. If Dan could bottle the safety, the pure sensuality of this very moment, he would bathe in the perfume of it forever.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,069
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    174
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    3,909
  9. 73

    Tags
    Summary

    “Go back to sleep, baby. Too early.”

    The flood of sticky-sweet affection that courses through him tingles all the way in his fingers and toes. In their shared vernacular of nonsense words and teasing jabs, there is almost nothing so precious and intimate between them as that endearment. It’s rare from Dan these days in a way it wasn’t in the beginning, largely because he has grown and matured and with him the way he expresses affection, but it takes him straight back to 2009 every time.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,356
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    458
    Bookmarks:
    73
    Hits:
    5,034
  10. 32

    Tags
    Summary

    to the mirror dan says, "i am sorry you got stuck with me," to the birds he says, "do you ever feel like your body is not your body?" to phil he says, "could you maybe sit a little further away from me during this video?"

    phil looks at him with equal amounts despair and love. 'this feels right,' dan thinks, 'this is what love should be for me: painful. it’s what i deserve.'

     

    or: a fic juxtaposing 2012's grief with 2024's joy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,033
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    181
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    1,596
  11. 6

    Tags
    Summary

    Meeting up had been strange.

    In between endless text messages and Skype calls, Dan had almost convinced himself that the man on the other side of his screen wasn’t a real person. A wonderful fantasy living in his shitty laptop screen.

    And he said so many things he would’ve never dared to say out loud in those late hours of the night. And he fell asleep behind the counter at the job he hated because he’d stayed up talking with Phil into the early morning hours.

    And then suddenly he’d booked himself train tickets to Manchester.

    --or--

    A look at a few key moments in their lives and how, despite it all, things will turn out alright.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,406
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    76
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    896
  12. 10

    Tags
    Summary

    Phil is shoving his phone into Dan's face, almost knocking it into his nose with the force of it all.

    He almost brushes it off as another sister Daniel piece when he looks again.

    It's Phil. Dressed up in a nun costume not unlike the one he had in a bag in the back of his closet. The thigh high stockings and garter belts sketched onto art-Phil are different though. And so is the choker around his neck.

    “That's a cool drawing bub,”

    Phil pushes the phone into his face gently, insisting.

     

    The tip of his nose touches the screen and the image zooms in on the exposed thigh of art-Phil.

    “It… would look good on you?” he tries.

    “You think so?” comes the soft reply, and Dan knows he's cracked the code.

    -OR-

    Dan helps Phil dress up as sister Philip. They get sentimental about it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,639
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    96
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    565
  13. 44

    Tags
    Summary

    When Phil was unconscious Dan wanted to wrap him in his arms, tell him, I’ll be your blood flow, your diagnosis, I’ll be your hedonism. You are the greatest consequence to ever happen to me. But Phil didn’t happen to people. He didn’t inflict himself. He wouldn’t know how to cause damage if it ground itself into his ribs. Not like the earthquake that was Dan Howell.

    Or: Daniel Howell never really learned how to relax. (Set during their vacation to Turkey)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,466
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    265
    Bookmarks:
    44
    Hits:
    1,936
  14. 56

    Tags
    Summary

    On a fateful late-night walk, Dan happens across two oddly familiar young men in the park.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,529
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    331
    Bookmarks:
    56
    Hits:
    6,257
  15. 26

    Tags
    Summary

    The phouse still isn’t complete, meaning there are a lot of sweaty, burly men wandering around. That, coupled with Dan’s twitter feed seemingly out to get him, leads to some old fantasies resurfacing.

    Or: Dan has a fantasy about being thrown around by a bunch of big strong men, and tells a very interested Phil about it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,609
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    229
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    2,544
  16. 12

    Tags
    Summary

    “intertwined, sewn together
    not a lot, just forever” - adrianne lenker

    working through the feels post-hospital incident ❤️‍🩹

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,673
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    142
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    2,323
  17. 48

    Tags
    Summary

    Dan talks to his therapist, buys groceries, freaks out about the entire Phil situation, and tries to address the elephant in the room.

    --

    "You don't think I screwed it all up, do you?" Dan says. "My chances of having anything real with Phil?"

    "Oh, Dan," his therapist says. "If we're going to talk about you and Phil in a romantic sense, we're going to need more than five minutes."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,400
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    200
    Bookmarks:
    48
    Hits:
    1,860
  18. 50

    Tags
    Summary

    Strange isn’t helpful. Dan has lived with himself for thirty-three years, and has been in therapy for several of those. He should know the precise words for something like this. It’s a very clunky feeling, is all he can identify. Like heaves and heaves of asphalt filling up a pavement square. Like a body fresh from the burn of quicksand. He’s spilling into something, and he’s entirely too large to heave himself out of it.

    It’s a sudden, useless feeling that should not inhabit his body after a satisfying orgasm. But, historically, Dan has felt a lot of unhelpful things after an orgasm.

    (there is a matter unresolved, sleeping in the underbelly of daniel howell's mind. after the terrible influence tour, and a haircut done in australia, that something begins to unravel.

    in other words: daniel howell, and the wild beast of gender.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,100
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    227
    Bookmarks:
    50
    Hits:
    2,234
  19. 8

    Tags
    Summary

    Dan let out a little chuckle at that, because it is silly, it really is absolutely stupid in more ways than one, but Phil had remembered.

    Phil had remembered how much silly things like this mean to Dan, and he will continue to for as long as they continue to stay wrapped up in each other’s lives.

    Because Phil had always wanted to have someone in his life that he could buy presents for.

    Whereas Dan on the other hand?

    Dan was the best present that he ever got in return.

    Or, Phil will always go to the most extreme lengths to make Dan feel loved on his special day.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,091
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    80
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    773
  20. 23

    Tags
    Summary

    They finally cross a line they'd been dancing around for years. What starts as a simple massage after Dan injures his shoulder, turns into a quiet unraveling of everything they'd been too scared to admit.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,133
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    175
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    2,251

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