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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Jungkook suddenly felt very small under those piercing, sharp eyes looking down at him with a the most "what the fuck"  look. He tried not to squirm when the mobster stared him down– he didn't know what was wrong but Taehyung's face showed utter disbelief. The cigarette between his fingers was almost out but he couldn't care about it right now because holy shit was this guy clueless. 

    "You don't fucking know how to give head?"

    Or where,

    Innocent, broke and timid jungkook accidentally finds himself as a stripper after applying for a bartender– he didn't expect himself to be in a mobster's lap suddenly – getting the railing of a lifetime.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,330
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    2,238
    Bookmarks:
    502
    Hits:
    58,633

    05 Jun 2025

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Jeongguk never thought his subgender would change or make much of a difference in his life. Yet when he begins presenting just a few short weeks after his birthday— the change is more than he bargained for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    92,099
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    105
    Kudos:
    795
    Bookmarks:
    254
    Hits:
    17,435

    31 May 2025

  3. This has been deleted, sorry!

    15 Sep 2021

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Would a more kinaesthetic approach suffice, then?”
    “A-are you suggesting grabbing my arse?”
    “I’m suggesting, that since this seems to be a topic of great interest to you, Snow, I can charitably offer you a lesson in the basics.”
    Snow unleashes an agitated groan. Merlin, I don’t know how the boy can manage to keep up such a froth for so long. (Though I’ve somehow managed to keep up an erection for this long, so I’m not one to speak on the matter of indecorous stamina.)
    “You’ve never offered to tutor me in anything before!” he yammers.
    “Precisely.” I curl my lip at him. “So don’t expect me to ever be so generous with my offers of elucidation ever again.”



    Baz gets caught with a dildo up his arse, which results in an awkward conversation about the benefits of anal stimulation.
    Simon is admittedly curious, and, well, so long as it's something straight blokes can enjoy too, there's no reason not to let Baz show him the ropes...right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    54,686
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    363
    Kudos:
    3,002
    Bookmarks:
    548
    Hits:
    64,342

    03 Sep 2019

  5. Public Bookmark 19

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    Summary

    Inspired by the song “Sugar We’re Goin' Down” by Fall Out Boy (Requested by Anonymous on Tumblr)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,045
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    315
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    3,584

    03 Sep 2019

  6. Public Bookmark 19

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    Summary

    Simon & Baz take a walk in the rain & talk about the future.

    (This takes place on the same timeline as my other fics but can be read by itself.)

    (Also I still suck at titles.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,597
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    321
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    3,881

    31 Aug 2019

  7. Public Bookmark 77

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    Summary

    Set nine months after the events of A Pair of Splendid Morons, Simon & Baz have just moved in together. Simon's 20th birthday's coming up, which seems as good a time as any to ask Baz for a little something extra in bed: a bite.

    Baz is...inclined to agree.

    But first? A night out on the town.

    (Can be read independently from A Pair of Splendid Morons; I tell you all you need to know in my notes.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,680
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    170
    Kudos:
    653
    Bookmarks:
    77
    Hits:
    11,545

    31 Aug 2019

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Neuro-atypical uni student Baz Pitch has never had a boyfriend, or a first date. He’s never even been kissed. Up until now, he’s been too busy being…well. Neuro-atypical.

    He spends his days at uni and his nights working at the bookshop owned by his eccentric aunt’s on-again off-again boyfriend. He’s not doing it for the money—all he needs is something to get him out of the house. But he never expected a simple bookselling job to turn his entire world upside-down.

    Enter Simon Salisbury. He’s not sure where his life’s headed. He’s taken a gap year, and his girlfriend’s gone off to college in California and broken up with him. When his best friend Penelope takes him to the bookshop near her school for a coffee and a scone, he thinks all he’s getting is advice and commiseration. But then there's Baz.

    Simon’s determined to get to know the bloke at the bookshop, but Baz has spent a lifetime trapped inside his own mind. He knows that letting Simon get to know him means exposing the most vulnerable bits of himself. But love is vulnerable in itself, and sometimes trusting someone with our hearts is a risk worth taking.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    323,588
    Chapters:
    27/35
    Comments:
    1,466
    Kudos:
    1,962
    Bookmarks:
    325
    Hits:
    56,293

    28 Aug 2019

  9. Public Bookmark 12

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    Summary

    Simon figures out that he has feelings for Baz, and he decides to act on it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,672
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    415
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    3,627

    26 Aug 2019

  10. Public Bookmark 38

    Tags
    Summary

    Inspired by Krisrix' art of the same name.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,917
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    484
    Bookmarks:
    38
    Hits:
    6,019

    20 Aug 2019

  11. Public Bookmark 18

    Tags
    Summary

    Can I borrow a kiss?
     
    I promise I'll give it right back.

    A collection of kissing prompts from Tumblr.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,709
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    293
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1,882

    19 Aug 2019

  12. Public Bookmark 18

    Tags
    Summary

    Missing scene on Christmas eve.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,669
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    410
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    2,885

    19 Aug 2019

  13. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The night of the Leavers ball, Baz makes Simon feel magic again. But is it for real? And if so, how can they make it last? (The answer is sex, obviously).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,798
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    114
    Kudos:
    787
    Bookmarks:
    113
    Hits:
    14,520

    11 Aug 2019

  14. Public Bookmark 67

    Tags
    Summary

    Simon proposes a game.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,375
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    846
    Bookmarks:
    67
    Hits:
    12,849

    07 Aug 2019

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Over the past week and a half, I’ve witnessed three splinters impale Snow, had my head hit sitting up more than five times, and noticed Snow’s pissing pattern in correlation to what he has with dinner.
    Tonight, though, I decided to slip out early to feed. And maybe I shouldn’t, because now I’m facing a dilemma. Snow. In my bed.

    -

    Simon messed up and spelled the beds together into a bunk bed, and now they’re stuck in a childlike loop of these beds. That is, until Simon passes out on bottom bunk accidentally and doesn’t want to move for Baz.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,959
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    1,531
    Bookmarks:
    119
    Hits:
    9,796

    07 Aug 2019

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    I nearly visibly laugh. Relationship.

    Like we have anything applicable.

    -

    A spell that Simon thought shouldn't work does, and now he and Baz are stuck together until the truth comes out. But what truth is it?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,439
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    48
    Kudos:
    1,965
    Bookmarks:
    214
    Hits:
    15,741

    28 Jul 2019

  17. Public Bookmark 34

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    Summary

    Plans are well under way for Simon and Baz's wedding, but to Simon, it feels as though everything is spinning out of control. The engagement was supposed to end months ago, but instead, Baz and Penny are planning the most extravagant wedding he's ever seen. What happens when Simon has had enough of all of it? Will Simon and Baz be able to make up, or will this be it for them?

    Sequel to Friends Don't French-Kiss

    Series
    • Part 2 of FDF
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,016
    Chapters:
    6/7
    Comments:
    113
    Kudos:
    333
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    4,299

    28 Jul 2019

  18. Public Bookmark 97

    Tags
    Summary

    In which Penelope knows everything, and Snow is just a bit more ruthless.

    Baz has been fucked his whole life but this - this is something else.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,585
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    222
    Kudos:
    814
    Bookmarks:
    97
    Hits:
    11,545

    26 Jul 2019

  19. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Me: Is a sucker for first time fics.
    Also me: "There aren't enough first time fics in this fandom."
    Also me, apparently: "You could write one."
    Me again: "Yeah, I guess I could. You right, you right."

     
    BAZ
     
    “It’ll be fun!” he says. “It’ll be like Watford again, like we’re roommates, you know, except without all the contempt and trying to kill each other.”

    I realize I’ve been staring at his mouth this whole time. “Yes, well, without the Anathema there’ll be nothing to keep my hands off you.” Did...did I just say that?

    “Oh,” he says, mouth hanging open a bit (mouth breather). He closes it, pulls his bottom lip between his teeth. “Good, then.”

    SIMON

    I think of what Baz said, earlier. That he wants his hands all over me. (That feeling’s mutual too.) I’ve got a list of things I want to do to Baz, & I’ve crossed some of them off since we’ve been together. I’d like to cross off some more.

    The part of me that really wants this is starting to be a lot more demanding than the part that's scared shitless.

    Yes, there's sex. But there's also a lot of feelings, personal growth, & massive metaphorical trust falls.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,842
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    438
    Kudos:
    1,636
    Bookmarks:
    256
    Hits:
    33,659

    22 Jul 2019

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    And Snow, brilliant supernova Snow, just leans to me as he smiles. “See,” he whispers even quieter. He prods his finger into my cheek and sends me spiraling. I’m smiling. Smiling. “This Baz doesn’t kill me for sayin’ jack shit.”

    “’M not gonna kill you, Snow,” I mumble, my hands finding themselves on his knees. Thighs. They slid down to his thighs, and now he’s pinker in the cheeks than before, but laughing. He’s laughing so much. I want to implode.

    -

    The bathtub of their shared bathroom is quite large; it’s deep enough to comfortably fit two people, and if you shift just right around the spout, you can sit face to face with relative comfort. The boys find something special in there, making it seemingly the only place where they can stand each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,882
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    98
    Kudos:
    1,842
    Bookmarks:
    261
    Hits:
    18,971

    21 Jul 2019

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