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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    [Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov sit on director’s chairs in a white sound studio. They are both wearing Ottawa Centaurs jerseys, and Ilya smiles warmly at Shane as a makeup artist places a small bit of powder across his cheeks while a producer hands them both a practice board.]

    Shane: So, these are just internet searches people do of us?

    Producer: Yes! The most popular ones, and you just answer or comment on them. There’s one board for you, one for Ilya, and then one of the two of you combined. 

    Shane: Sounds harmless enough. 

    Ilya: You do not spend much time on the internet if you think this sounds harmless. 

    Producer: Would you like to practice taking the tape off? 

    [They both nod, and she hands each of them a board. Shane politely and carefully rips off the top piece of tape, focusing on pulling it straight off without ripping it. During the time it takes Shane to take off one piece, Ilya rips off four, crumpling up the tape and throwing it in the air like confetti. A piece hits Shane’s head, and he looks at his husband, slightly startled, while Ilya beams back happily.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,930
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    458
    Kudos:
    14,794
    Bookmarks:
    1,466
    Hits:
    70,184

    10 Sep 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    The man doesn’t look phased. On the contrary, he’s acting like it’s completely normal to talk about sex with a stranger.

    “Well, my wife wants me to…” David hesitates, but what damage could it do? Tomorrow, he’ll be on a plane back to Ottawa and he’ll never see this man again. “She wants me to try being more dominant.”

    The Russian grins. “Oh, you have met the right person.”

    Or: In 2014, David and Ilya become friends and start swapping sex advice. It's too bad they don't recognize each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,371
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,047
    Kudos:
    11,946
    Bookmarks:
    2,207
    Hits:
    64,870

    09 Sep 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing.

    No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting.

    The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting).

    Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

    Now available in Russian

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,196
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,672
    Kudos:
    56,880
    Bookmarks:
    11,577
    Hits:
    398,856

    09 Sep 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The group chat elects a new Head of the WAGs

    Harris
    Good morning, Roz

    Ilyusha 🩵
    Hello, traitor.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,693
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    364
    Kudos:
    10,457
    Bookmarks:
    682
    Hits:
    52,415

    09 Sep 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Holly
    @iknowpuck
    shane hollander is standing in front of me at the coffee shop

    Holly @iknowpuck · Replying to @iknowpuck
    oooh he's texting a girl named lily

    Holly
    @iknowpuck
    he's kind of an asshole… no man is safe really

    or

    A chat between Shane and a certain "Lily" gets exposed. Cue misunderstandings and chaos.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,658
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    398
    Kudos:
    11,817
    Bookmarks:
    1,277
    Hits:
    71,852

    09 Sep 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane: Curse & Hex Removal Spell by SpellsfromNastya

    Rose: ???

    Shane: Trust me

    Shane: Just get it

    Rose: Why?

    Shane: You are probably cursed.

    or

    Ilya's Etsy witch reviews get exposed.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,413
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    836
    Kudos:
    19,558
    Bookmarks:
    3,487
    Hits:
    95,669

    09 Sep 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Miryem, the Staryk, and their wedding night.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,783
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    103
    Kudos:
    1,630
    Bookmarks:
    251
    Hits:
    19,218

    07 Sep 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane: You know, believe it or not, eating women out actually wasn't my favorite pastime
    Ilya: Sure.
    Shane: Ilya. I’m GAY
    Ilya: Not too gay to eat lots of pussy

    In which the women Shane has slept with share their experiences on social media, Shane and Ilya both react totally normally, and Hayden would like some clarity on his best friend's sex life

    A sequel to "ten out of ten"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,353
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2,136
    Kudos:
    27,761
    Bookmarks:
    2,478
    Hits:
    229,431

    05 Sep 2026

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Scott: I’ve been getting asked if it’s me. I considered denying but if we all deny and one person doesn’t, that sort of gives their identity away and I’m not sure they want that.
    Ilya: Everyone thinks is me. My agent asked if I want to comment too
    Scott: Wait, it's not you?
    Ilya: Maybe 🤔 Or maybe not 🤪
    Eric: What?

    Or: When Adrian Dela Cruz reveals he dated an NHL player, chaos and damage control ensue. A story told through texts, tweets, and one pretentious Variety article.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,834
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,159
    Kudos:
    34,830
    Bookmarks:
    4,078
    Hits:
    337,051

    05 Sep 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane: I’ve never wanted to share it since our timeline is so…complicated
    Hayden: Is it? You were fucking, then you dated, then you got married. Normal progression!
    Shane: I don’t think the “fucking” part of that equation is usually 7 years

    In which the Voyageurs’ secret homophobic group chat leaks, Shane decides it might be time to tell the world how long he’s been seeing Ilya, and said world loses their shit.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,151
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,888
    Kudos:
    43,120
    Bookmarks:
    6,645
    Hits:
    455,691

    05 Sep 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane
    How about no one jokes about you all almost dying in a plane crash?

    Cap
    Boooooo

    Shane
    Don’t boo me from next to me in bed, loser

    Cap
    BOOOOOOOOOOO

    Another 4 months in the Centaurs team chat: Shane Hollander-Rozanov remix edition.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,564
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    384
    Kudos:
    5,472
    Bookmarks:
    403
    Hits:
    31,898

    02 Sep 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya
    We will be late

    Bood
    do NOT fuck before my bbq

    Ilya
    We already have
    And we will again!

    Post-Fanmail, Hollanov, the Cens & the WAGs prepare for the BBQ to end all BBQs.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,111
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    379
    Kudos:
    8,828
    Bookmarks:
    669
    Hits:
    58,577

    02 Sep 2026

  13. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Bood
    what have you given her before?

    Ilya
    A fucking, mostly

    Bood
    CHEAP
    CHEAP GIFT GIVER

    Ilya enlists Bood & the Ottawa WAGs to help brainstorm ideas for his first proper Valentine’s Day with ‘Jane’.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,287
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    2,337
    Kudos:
    29,123
    Bookmarks:
    5,665
    Hits:
    354,607

    01 Sep 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Who are you talking to?” Sveta is looking with a raised eyebrow, at Ilya’s delighted face.

    “Ah, I am talking to my catfish.”

    “What do you mean, your catfish?” Ilya angles the phone so Sveta can see the shirtless picture on the screen.

    “This guy is pretending to be Shane Hollander on Grindr. It’s pretty funny. He’s cropped the face out, but he’s using pictures from the billboard next to my apartment.”

    Or: Ilya Rozanov is sure he's being catfished- why would the real Shane Hollander be on Grindr, talking to random university of Ottawa students? But the more he talks to Wayne, the more he starts to like him, and the more he wishes Wayne would just come clean so they can finally be together.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,322
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    1,440
    Kudos:
    20,787
    Bookmarks:
    3,437
    Hits:
    214,713

    29 Aug 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    St-Simon: roz was so close to killing himself or killing us everytime they’d break up

    St-Simon: the last one was so bad

    St-Simon: put us through so much SHIT

    St-Simon: he probably ended up proposing when they got back together

    Connors: The fact that Roz transferred before we even met Jane.

    Connors: She’ll never be in the WAG GC.

    Sebbin: its still reasonable to think we just made her up

    Sebbin: maybe we all fucking died in 2016 and this is just a hallucination

    St-Simon: man you really got hit hard in the head

    [Or--after the wedding, after everything--how the Raiders, especially Cliff, eventually figured Montreal Jane out]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,472
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    367
    Kudos:
    17,935
    Bookmarks:
    1,672
    Hits:
    112,167

    10 Aug 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Pummel: Fuck Jane

    St-Simon: nah…

    St-Simon: i dont think shes done anything wrong…

    Pummel: youre right

    Pummel: Sorry Jane

    Pummel: FUCK ROZANOV

    Varkov: FUCK ROZANOV

    Connors: Hey guys did you see this article about Rose Landry and Shane Hollander?

    Carmichael: Bad timing, man.

    Connors: Oh

    Connors: Give me a second to read back.

    Connors: Oh….

    Connors: FUCK ROZANOV

    [Or, how the Raiders---in particular the long suffering Cliff Marleau, dealt with the Great Jane Debacle of 2016, told in a series of texts, posts, and Cliff being the best Bostonian friend Ilya could ask for]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,732
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    641
    Kudos:
    32,225
    Bookmarks:
    4,795
    Hits:
    263,104

    10 Aug 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    There was nothing standard about Shane and Ilya's relationship, so it really shouldn't have been so surprising that they had their first date over a decade after meeting each other.

    It also shouldn't be surprising that it took roughly five minutes before it turned into a competition.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,122
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,173
    Kudos:
    14,531
    Bookmarks:
    4,416
    Hits:
    174,255

    09 Aug 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya doesn't do ‘apologies,’ he does vengeance.

    So when the Montreal Voyageurs issue Shane an apology as half-assed as their season, Ilya vows to go down swinging, and to take them all with him.

    Because when it comes to Shane, there's nothing he won't do to protect his husband.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,483
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    8
    Comments:
    1,332
    Kudos:
    15,807
    Bookmarks:
    2,157
    Hits:
    142,477

    28 Jul 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Some can't stand homophobia.

    Some can't stand the Voyageurs.

    And some can't stand the dynasty that the Voyageurs inadvertently created when they ran Shane Hollander out of town for being gay.

    So when news of why Shane Hollander signed in Ottawa alongside his husband comes out, 31 teams take it upon themselves to get back at the Voyageurs for all that they’ve done.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,006
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    19
    Comments:
    2,101
    Kudos:
    26,526
    Bookmarks:
    5,016
    Hits:
    332,115

    28 Jul 2026

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Marriage is largely a matter of perspective. From hers, Draco Malfoy is an exceptionally good husband.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,898
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    223
    Kudos:
    1,490
    Bookmarks:
    275
    Hits:
    16,614

    22 Jun 2026

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