1 - 20 of 26 Bookmarks by WhitePart13
Navigation
List of Bookmarks
-
Tags
Summary
“He spent my whole life drilling into me that I had to be hard. Strong. Untouchable. No softness. No affection. Every time I reached for it, he tore me down. Called me weak. Pathetic. Wrong. And I thought I buried that when I left home. I thought I left him behind. But he’s still here.” Eddie taps his temple with trembling fingers, breath catching in his chest. “He’s still in my head. And every time someone notices us, every time there’s even a hint of attention, I hear him again, telling me I’m not allowed to want.”
“But I do want. God, Buck, I want you so much it terrifies me. I want to touch you all the time. I feel this need in me, it’s bottomless. Like a pit I can’t fill, no matter what I do. And it scares the hell out of me, because if I open it all the way, if I let it out, I don’t know if it will ever be enough. And I’m terrified you’ll drown in it. That I’ll smother you. That you’ll get overwhelmed and leave.”
or, Eddie Diaz has never let himself be needy, not once in his life. But loving Buck makes him ache for touch in ways he can’t admit, until pulling away nearly breaks them both.
-
Tags
Summary
The itching under his skin hummed in a slightly off tune. When Buck was outside the Diaz door, he could physically feel Eddie’s happiness, without seeing him. Here, on the porch, he could feel that Eddie’s happiness was at about… 78%. High, honestly. Through the closed door, he could hear music playing softly and Chris yelling at a video game in his room.
When he opened the door and stepped in, he headed toward the kitchen where Eddie was, predictably, washing dishes with his phone in his pocket, playing a Christmas album in Spanish. When Eddie turned to look at him, a smile on his face, his happiness went up to a 98.4%.
Buck stumbled into a kitchen chair, nearly folding in half over it, huffing out a loud oof.
Eddie’s eyes went wide and he turned off the faucet, rushing over. “What the hell, man? You just totally-”
“Lost in my head,” Buck mumbled, cheeks ablaze as he righted the chair and himself. “Just knocked the wind out of myself, ignore me.”
or
As a child, Buck developed the ability to grant Christmas wishes. He finds this year a bit harder when Christopher makes a very particular wish; Eddie's complete happiness.
-
Tags
Summary
Eddie flipped the postcard one last time, reading over the words he’d inked into the paper. His thumb brushed along the corner as he slipped the card into the slot.
Hey Buck,
I’m drunk in Texas and this is still the only address I know by heart. I miss you.
Yours,
E.D.
Or; Eddie figures some things out about himself while he's in Texas. Then Chris asks to move back to L.A.
-
Tags
Summary
Buck tries to commit the frame to memory, wills himself not to forget the important details—Eddie on his knees in front of him, his nails seeking purchase along Buck's thighs as he drinks him down, his drawn-out gasps when Buck returns the favor.
After, when Buck reaches out for quiet confirmation in the dark, asks him, "Good?"
Eddie tells him, earnest and hard-won, "Everything is good with you," and Buck can bask in the illusion of a world where he almost believes it.
Buck is trying to leave the past where it belongs. Then he wins an all-expenses-paid trip to Italy, convinces Eddie to join him, and falls headfirst into (not so) casual sex with his best friend.
-
Tags
Summary
“Bye, Eddie,” Buck says quickly, fluttering his lashes innocently at him, he smiles widely at glare he’s getting, and adds, “I love you.”
Eddie rolls his eyes, “Asshole,” he replies, his face blushed bright red.
(Or, Buck finds out that Eddie gets all flustered when someone tells him they love him. Naturally, Buck needs to tell him all the time now. It’s purely platonic, leave him alone.)
-
I'll Feel You Forget Me Like I Used to Feel You Breathe by turningthepages
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
22 Mar 2023
Tags
Summary
A car accident leaves Eddie without ten years of memories. He forgets meeting Buck, falling in love, getting married, and bringing two more kids into their life. As Eddie struggles to adjust to this new life, Buck struggles with being in love with someone who doesn't want to remember him.
Oh, and they have really cute kids.
or
Just another Hollywood Amnesia story the fandom probably didn't need but lived in my head rent free for too long.
Series
- Part 1 of I'll Feel You Forget Me
-
Tags
Summary
Eddie gets this look on his face, like he’s about to ask for something, and then he shutters and goes back to rock-solid-Eddie who can hide his emotions and feelings, bottle them all up deep inside himself. Buck knows Eddie, has for so long now, that he can read him like ‘Eddie Diaz’ is a language only he is fluent in.
The point is, Eddie is lying, and Buck is trying really hard not to let it bother him, to give him the time and space to come to terms with it on his own and let Buck know when he is ready.
The point is, Buck is running out of patience.
Or, Eddie is lying, and Buck can't figure out about what.
-
Tags
Summary
coda/canon-divergent for episode 817, don't drink the water: what if buck had woken up early and caught eddie in the act of leaving?
“I’m not leaving you, Buck,” Eddie tells him tenderly.
Buck didn’t know he’d said it aloud.
“Yes, you are,” he argues, thick and breaking.
Eddie is so close to him now, crowding his space with one hand braced on his shoulder and across his collarbone; the other cradling the back of his head; his chest inches from Buck’s. He’s so close that Buck can feel how warm he is, smell laundry detergent and deodorant clinging to his clothes.
“No,” he argues firmly. “I’m not."
-
you'd have to stop the world (just to stop the feeling) by wenttoafortuneteller
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
29 Jun 2024
Tags
Summary
“And you know what the worst part is?” The girl asks, wiping angrily at her tears. “I want the life I’m supposed to live. I want to get married and raise kids and be happy. I just don’t want to do all that with a man.”
It’s like Eddie’s understanding of himself — of the reason why he’s always felt like something is wrong with him — has been locked away his entire life. Labelled break glass in case of emergency, gathering dust for thirty-four years, and all of a sudden some conflicted teenager is shattering his worldview without meaning to.
I don’t want to do all that with a man, she’d said. The words slip out without Eddie intending them to.
“I do.”
—
Or: the Eddie Diaz gay realization arc we all deserve. In which Bobby puts some pieces together, Chimney sees something he shouldn’t, Hen gets to have a conversation she’s been waiting to have for years, and Buck can’t understand why his best friend is avoiding him.
-
Summary
our #EddieExhibitionism summer, titled after the films of Billy Wilder.
- Words:
- 31,898
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 30
-
the pain will leave you once it's done teaching you by fruitsdoesnotknow
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
29 Apr 2024
Tags
Summary
“Hi, I’m Buck, a firefighter with the 136,” for now, the thought crashes through Buck, leaving a sour taste in his mouth. “Uh, you’re both welcome to take a tour with us, if you’d like.” Buck awkwardly scratches at his neck, running a hand through his hair, unsure what else to do, and it spurs the man in front of him to take a large step forward up to Buck’s bed.
“Eddie,” he says, thrusting a hand to him, and Buck reaches over without a second thought. His whole palm feels electric, it smarts and carries the touch of Eddie, Eddie, that Buck feels it completely. He has no idea what’s happening to him. “Edmundo Diaz, but just Eddie though, uh, no one calls me Edmundo. Right. I’m a new nurse here, at Cedars-Senai. Oh –”
***
When Daniel Buckley lives a little longer, Evan Buckley dies a little more. And this is how Eddie Diaz saves him, a little later on.
-
Tags
Summary
“Sorry, uh, I’m not doing this right,” she says.
“Doing what right?” Eddie asks.
“Actually, sorry, one sec, this is bugging me,” she says before flicking her wrist in the direction of the star. It shifts where it sits atop the tree, untouched, straightening ever so slightly.
“Much better,” she says, turning back to Eddie with a smile.
“H-how did you do that?” Eddie asks.
“I’m your ghost of Christmas past,” she explains, as if it’s the simplest thing on earth. In Eddie’s—albeit, sleep deprived—mind, it certainly is not.
“My…huh?”
OR
On the night before Christmas, Eddie is visited by three (or four) ghosts who show him what it means to let go, to be loved, and to love someone back.
-
Tags
Summary
Buck had thought the black mask that completely covers the top half of the guy's face looked silly, when he'd seen it on the news.
Now, with the man in front of him, he realizes why no one jokes about the vigilante's appearance. Even though he clearly doesn't perceive Buck as a threat, he seems like a mountain rather than a real person. All of his muscles look toned, and there's something dangerous in the set of his shoulders. Still, he offers Buck a small smile, one that kind of reminds him of Eddie's. He reaches his hands down to help Buck stand. It puts the man's biceps next to his face.
Buck swallows. Be normal when you talk to the hot vigilante, he thinks to himself.
"You know they make bigger shirt sizes, right?" he asks instead.
—
OR: Eddie Diaz is Daredevil. His life gets a lot worse before it gets better.
-
Tags
Summary
“Are you homophobic?”
“What?”
“Will you be my boyfriend?”
“Yes,” Eddie answered, automatically, even though his mind had volunteered several other pressing questions, like what are you talking about and what is happening and did I recently sustain brain damage.
“Thanks,” said Buckley, and then he pushed Eddie back against the side of the firetruck and kissed him.
----
It's the 63rd Annual Los Angeles Fire Muster & Firefighter’s Family Day, and inter-station relations are about to get real friendly between fire houses 6 and 118.
-
The long-suffering existence of Christopher Diaz by paleredheadinascifi
Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV)
04 Dec 2024
- Words:
- 14,602
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 457
-
Summary
a collection of my (unconnected) 9-1-1 chat fics!
- Words:
- 31,459
- Works:
- 10
- Bookmarks:
- 344
-
- Words:
- 103,241
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 111
-
Tags
Summary
There’s mud on his hands. There’s mud on his hands and he has to dig deeper, quicker, because Eddie is forty feet beneath him and surely he can’t breathe because the well is gone and Eddie is gone and Buck can’t follow him.
“Eddie,” his throat feels raw, the words wrong to his ears, “Eddie.”
“Yeah,” Eddie says, holding onto him, “I'm right here, Buck, I’m right here.”
“I can’t—” Buck breaks off, his trembling, dirty hand in the air and Eddie must understand because he takes Buck's hand without question and pulls it to his chest, right over his heart.
{or five times Buck needs to feel Eddie's heartbeat and the one time Eddie needs to feel his}
-
buck is a cheater cheater pumpkin eater and eddie is his accomplice by teenytinytomlinson
Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV)
31 Oct 2024
Summary
a series of unrelated fics where buck cheats on his boyfriend with eddie :)
- Words:
- 32,949
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 61