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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    In the Shire, hobbits say, "What lovely weather we've having." They also stir their teacups for four and a half clockwise rotations, place their left elbow seven-eighths down the way of the arm rest, and sniffled pointedly, which roughly translates to: "This tea is over-steeped and bland, your furniture is both uncomfortable and horrifically tasteless, and you're a twit of a host."
    And I think that's beautiful.
    ~
    Hobbitish is a language of manners and etiquette, the dwarves don't even know that Hobbitish is a thing, and Bilbo is trying to keep a straight face and his peace of mind while the Company unintentionally keeps sexually propositioning him and challenging him to pie-eating contests to the death.
    ~
    Actions speak so much louder than words.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,654
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    711
    Kudos:
    4,718
    Bookmarks:
    1,903
    Hits:
    88,578

    15 Sep 2024

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    At no point in the accidental usurpation of Thorin as leader of The Company and the quest for Erebor, did Bilbo intend for this to turn into an exploration of cultural differences (and something that almost feels like group therapy). For some reason, the Dwarrows aren't complaining, and Bilbo isn't going to question it, as long as the lumoxes behave themselves and do as they're told.

    Who knows, they all might yet survive this insane journey.

    (Or, where Bilbo decides the Dwarves are all too stupid for him to endure this ridiculousness anymore and Does It Hobbit and the Dwarves suddenly get affectionate.)

    *Please note, within this story there are mentions of the underage rape and subsequent pregnancy of an off-screen character. Mentions are brief in chapter 2, and a little more in depth chapter 4. While details are light and are more discussions of emotional aftermath, this may still be distressing to read for those with triggers. Please be cautious.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    79,065
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Collections:
    7
    Comments:
    1,379
    Kudos:
    7,148
    Bookmarks:
    2,899
    Hits:
    172,818

    15 Sep 2024

  3. Public Bookmark 52

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    Summary

    With Vivian cured and Camelot's alliance with King Olaf reaffirmed and stronger than ever, Merlin prepares to visit another ally: Princess Elena.

    Yet, there are complications. Gwaine, more protective than ever, seems to realize that Merlin is still keeping secrets, and there are still those who oppose the idea of decriminalizing sorcerery. And, of course, there's the lingering question of Morgana's influence. Where is she? When will she make her next move? And what new threats might Merlin and his knights face as they travel the Kingdoms?

    ~a direct sequel to Bad Dreams; this will not make sense if you haven't read the other entries in the series~

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,387
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    182
    Kudos:
    406
    Bookmarks:
    52
    Hits:
    6,087

    15 Sep 2024

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    One way the battle of Camlann could have gone. On the night before the battle, Merlin only has one request for Gwaine.

    "When I'm dead, I want you to remember me for *who* I was, rather than *what* I was. If you can."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,500
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    198
    Kudos:
    467
    Bookmarks:
    125
    Hits:
    7,421

    15 Sep 2024

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Merlin had thought he didn’t know what he was getting into when he cleared the air and agreed to stop hating Mordred, but it turned out the knight, not the warlock, was the one who was completely unprepared for what it would mean to be considered Merlin’s friend.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    107,364
    Chapters:
    18/18
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    1,319
    Kudos:
    4,128
    Bookmarks:
    803
    Hits:
    84,266

    09 Sep 2024

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    "Louis, what is a 'Swiftie?'"

    "Oh, no," Louis said into the phone, dread gathering. "Did you say something smug and superior?"

    "I am Lestat. By definition I am superior, so smugness would naturally follow," he said in that unbearably haughty way of his. "Some relentlessly buzzing mortal asked me about these Swifties, which I took to be either a form of modern conveyance or a tiresome sexual reference, so I dismissed it as silliness beneath my notice. It seems to have caused some displeasure."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,144
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    79
    Kudos:
    566
    Bookmarks:
    111
    Hits:
    3,145

    02 Sep 2024

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Qui-gon was the only one who knew about Anakin’s slave chip, and unfortunately, the secret died with him. Anakin doesn’t realize that none of the other Jedi aren’t aware, and while they think he’s just like them, he’s kind of still under the impression that he’s... their slave...?

    ((AND IF THE SLAVE MINDSET WASN’T ENOUGH ANGST Y’ALL GAVE HIM CHRONIC HEIGHTENED PAIN PERCEPTION FROM THE CHIP BECAUSE TUMBLR IS FULL OF SADISTS I GUESS))

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    139,851
    Chapters:
    23/?
    Collections:
    10
    Comments:
    1,862
    Kudos:
    4,255
    Bookmarks:
    1,429
    Hits:
    168,891

    12 Aug 2024

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Everyone has a soulmark, and Merlin has five soulmates.

    Here's the thing: they love each other. Not him.

    Several years of lying, secrets and heartbreak later, Merlin has to learn how to let the Knights of the Round table love him

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    97,223
    Chapters:
    26/?
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    2,995
    Kudos:
    7,723
    Bookmarks:
    1,763
    Hits:
    230,631

    09 Aug 2024

  9. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    84,876
    Works:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    165

    09 Aug 2024

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