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Sex and the Art of Castle Maintenance by birdsofshore for PukingPastilles
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
29 Dec 2018
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Summary
"Come on, boys," Zabini drawled. "You’re only delaying the inevitable."
Trouble always had a way of finding Harry, and eighth year was obviously going to be no exception.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,958
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 347
- Kudos:
- 11,699
- Bookmarks:
- 2,129
- Hits:
- 167,554
Bookmarked by frantically_flailing
21 Aug 2024
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Summary
Dick thinks it’s about time he let Bruce know just how much he loves his Daddy.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,492
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 13
- Kudos:
- 396
- Bookmarks:
- 56
- Hits:
- 8,221
Bookmarked by frantically_flailing
13 Aug 2024
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Summary
Twelve hours, that's all the time it took for Bruce's world to be turned upside. Twelve hours with Midnighter and Apollo, and Dick comes home with an interesting, to say the least, curse- and a cute set of ears and a tail.
Bookmarked by frantically_flailing
13 Aug 2024
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Summary
Meet Bart Allen, sixteen years old, an Omega and an Omega who hadn’t had a single heat since he was eleven, oh, and no one knew about his secondary gender. He had been passing as a Beta since he was thirteen and, had somehow, despite it all, managed to convince his entire family, the team, the world, and even the goddamn /Batman/, god knows how-that he was anything /but/ an Omega.
But, alas, it seemed it was time that this decision was coming to rip out a chunk of his /ass/.
His heat was starting. Oh, /joy/.
[or, terrified of what being an omega meant for you in the future, Bart hides his secondary gender from the world. Using suppressants Nathaniel had made him in the future, he passes as a Beta for as long as he can.
Of course, this all changes when he runs out of /stock/.]
Bookmarked by frantically_flailing
12 Aug 2024
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Summary
As gods, Dick’s parents were never meant to die—but die they did, leaving him completely alone.
Unless Dick can convince Hades to let him bring them back.
Series
- Part 8 of bruce + dick
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,768
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 38
- Kudos:
- 313
- Bookmarks:
- 36
- Hits:
- 2,501
Bookmarked by frantically_flailing
07 Aug 2024
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Summary
Whenever Bruce and Dick aren't in Gotham or at Mount Justice, it's time to let go of any pretense.
Series
- Part 1 of BruDick Week 2024
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,833
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 12
- Kudos:
- 332
- Bookmarks:
- 43
- Hits:
- 8,962
Bookmarked by frantically_flailing
26 Jul 2024
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Summary
Batman and Robin (sorta) bang while having an argument about it. Set in the All-Star Batman And Robin universe.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,373
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 24
- Kudos:
- 831
- Bookmarks:
- 113
- Hits:
- 17,729
Bookmarked by frantically_flailing
24 Jul 2024
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- Words:
- 11,980
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 88
Bookmarked by frantically_flailing
23 Jul 2024
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Summary
"Hey Doc, you got a minute?"
Simon heaved a sigh. And then there was Jayne. He wasn't exactly friends with the merc, but they had settled on "snarky but trusted acquaintances" whilst on the ship, which was, to be fair, the relationship he had with most people not his sister.Simon and Kaylee are over, and Jayne brings Simon a personal issue ("personal" in this case meaning "penis") that sparks something that Simon wishes he could understand. Jayne, meanwhile, is just happy to be of service ("of service" in this case meaning "having sex").
Bookmarked by frantically_flailing
08 Jul 2024
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Summary
Four Halloween themed site skins in a minimalist style in the colors purple, orange, red, and green.
Bookmarked by frantically_flailing
23 Feb 2024
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Summary
“I’m done,” Draco hissed, tightening his hand around the bed frame. He felt Potter struggling against the urge to argue, that stubborn streak of his nearly tangible in the darkened bedroom, but Draco heard him close the door after several thumping heartbeats. His shoulders dropped, his eyelids fluttering closed against the image of Potter’s face hovering above his own as the blood drained from his body, the last thing he saw before he lost consciousness those bright emerald eyes.
***
They watched each other across the short stretch of grass, the Patronus washing them in warm light, the sky now a deep, dark navy. Malfoy seemed to be searching his face for something, his silver eyes sketching his features in slow, stuttering movements. Harry could hear his heartbeat rattling in his chest, his breath catching in his throat like the skipping of a record. “Draco,” he whispered, the word foreign on his tongue.
***
In which Draco Malfoy learns how to conjure a Patronus (and to no longer be a dick—for the most part).
This story takes place during the events of Deathly Hallows.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 70,663
- Chapters:
- 36/36
- Comments:
- 289
- Kudos:
- 865
- Bookmarks:
- 158
- Hits:
- 17,507
Bookmarked by frantically_flailing
25 Jan 2024
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Summary
It's nearing the end of their sixth year at Hogwarts, and Pansy Parkinson is determined to change her best friend’s fate. When she not-so-accidentally overhears a shocking revelation regarding one Harry Potter, she devises a cunning plan to convince Draco to defect. Unfortunately, where Potter is concerned, nothing ever really goes to plan...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 328,014
- Chapters:
- 52/52
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 2,983
- Kudos:
- 5,282
- Bookmarks:
- 1,754
- Hits:
- 247,841
Bookmarked by frantically_flailing
21 Jan 2024
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Bookmarked by frantically_flailing
05 Nov 2023
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Summary
Years ago, Namjoon promised himself that he would never get involved with Hoseok again.
But there’s a serial killer on the loose, targeting omega idols, and all the clues point towards the possibility of Hoseok becoming his next victim.
As his new bodyguard, can Namjoon protect Hoseok from the killer? And more importantly... from himself?
Series
- Part 7 of AiSeeHope's Omegaverse
Bookmarked by frantically_flailing
15 Oct 2023
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Bookmarked by frantically_flailing
15 Oct 2023
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- Words:
- 19,409
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 8
Bookmarked by frantically_flailing
15 Oct 2023
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What are men to rocks and mountains? by yoongiyoongi
Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
06 Nov 2025
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Summary
A marriage between an alpha and omega can only be evidenced by a bitten claim. When Jungkook unexpectedly rejects Namjoon on their wedding night, the alpha must figure out how to not let his second marriage eclipse even his first as the bigger disaster.
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A marriage between an alpha and omega can only be evidenced by a bitten claim. When Jungkook unexpectedly rejects Namjoon on their wedding night, the omega must figure out how to keep his second alpha from learning anything about his catastrophic first.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 123,763
- Chapters:
- 9/10
- Comments:
- 1,153
- Kudos:
- 1,429
- Bookmarks:
- 424
- Hits:
- 40,646
Bookmarked by frantically_flailing
25 Aug 2023
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Shut up and Drive by Rihanna by Anonymous
Fandoms: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Rise of the Beasts
12 Jun 2023
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Summary
There's not much to summarize, Mirage pulls his dick out and doesn't know how to take it back, happy birthday here's yall's cake.
I'm not posting this anywhere but ao3, so if you see it anywhere else it means it got copied and pasted.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,764
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 19
- Kudos:
- 804
- Bookmarks:
- 77
- Hits:
- 10,154
Bookmarked by frantically_flailing
15 Jun 2023
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Not of These Worlds by Helthehatter
Fandoms: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers
04 Aug 2025
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Summary
Several months after the events of Rise of the Beasts, a former Unicron follower arrives on Earth.
This starts a catalyst:
-Noah and the Autobots meet the former follower, a creature called Dinobot looking for the Maximals to atone for his past sins. But how could they trust him with the battle of Scourge still a shadow in their minds?
-Elena is with the Maximals in Peru when they reunite with old friend, Tigatron. But when he learns of Airazor's death, Tigatron will appear more enemy than ally.
-Charlie Watson will find herself thrown back into the world of Cybertronians and unknowingly has an odd relix that is not of any of their worlds.
-The Predacon, Tarantulas, will start up his latest science project, fully attending to leave bodies in his wake during the process.
-A mysterious and threatening prescience will slip into the Earth's very seams, and our heroes may not even know of it until it is too late.Bookmarked by frantically_flailing
13 Jun 2023
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Summary
Namjoon tries to appear harmless, palms held up and open so that the omega before him can see that he is weaponless. He tries to keep his scent calm and barely there, sure that him signaling his own alpha-ness will only make the situation worse. Because no matter how much of an alpha he is, and no matter how long he has already survived this current zombie-infested world they are living in now, Namjoon doesn’t even entertain the idea of being able to survive having his throat cut open, or pierced through, by a knife’s blade.
The omega holding the blade steadily by his neck seems to think the same, as he bares his teeth and hisses.
(or: it's weird to see an omega all on their own in the middle of a zombie apocalypse and Namjoon wants to help)
Bookmarked by frantically_flailing
28 May 2023