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wading in waist-high water by colgatebluemintygel for grumposaur
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
09 Jun 2022
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Summary
Remus is a PhD student and hobbyist baker who finds himself adrift following his father’s death. On a whim, he enters the Great British Bake Off and is swept up in a flurry of curdled custard, shrunken souffle, and under-proved dough. Remus expects to be challenged and to embarrass himself on public television. What he doesn’t account for are the friendships he develops with the other contestants and the deep connection he forms with his teenage crush, Sirius Black: charming ex-boy band member and Bake Off presenter.
or,
Sirius groans, dropping his head back into his hands. “It’s the dough,” he mumbles into the skin of his palms. “It’s the kneading. It’s his hands. They’re obscene.”
Lily laughs. “They are a bit, aren’t they?”
Series
- Part 1 of wading in waist-high water
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 82,048
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 27
- Comments:
- 1,179
- Kudos:
- 14,046
- Bookmarks:
- 4,881
- Hits:
- 315,631
Bookmarked by halfthyme
15 Dec 2025
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Summary
Charlie wants his ex back. The problem is he’s in a new relationship, and this time it’s an open one.
He knows they go to swingers parties together. He wants to go too, to prove he could be into that sort of thing. It's couples only. Not ideal, but also not a problem he can't solve.
He needs to find a fake boyfriend, and fast. Enter Nick Nelson from work, serial womaniser and all-round irritating human being. He’s not Charlie’s first pick, but he’s probably the only person crazy and horny enough to go along with it. After all, it’s an opportunity for him to get laid as much as he wants while Charlie attempts to seduce his ex all over again. Win win.
What could possibly go wrong?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 104,057
- Chapters:
- 18/20
- Comments:
- 1,030
- Kudos:
- 1,168
- Bookmarks:
- 222
- Hits:
- 42,532
Bookmarked by halfthyme
16 Jun 2025
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identify your wants by waydownhadestown for FireBatVillain
Fandoms: The Masquerade Series - Seth Dickinson
15 May 2023
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Summary
Lindon is drowning.
He’s a tall man, and a strong one. Taller and stronger than Svir. Not as tall as the waves breaking one by one over his head, or as strong as the pull of the moon dragging them inexorably forward. The tide on its way in, the sea in its customary on-and-off embrace of the land. And Lindon, struggling fruitlessly: chains glinting a dark and ugly gray under the bleak, cloud-filtered rays of the morning sun.
Svir can see it all. He can hear it, too. The clatter of the chains, the crash of the waves, the agony of Lindon’s cries. His own name. His own heartbeat in his ears. Loud. Not loud enough to drown any of the rest of it out.
(Baru Cormorant has just become Falcrest's first truly unbound cryptarch. Svirakir wishes she hadn't.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,211
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 3
- Kudos:
- 29
- Bookmarks:
- 7
- Hits:
- 185
Bookmarked by halfthyme
10 Jun 2025
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K'diwa: A Steamy Novel of Interspecies Romance, by Jim Kirk by branwyn
Fandoms: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
18 Oct 2021
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Summary
Jim wrote a romance novel just to prove he could. Then someone leaked it on the public Starfleet server, and suddenly his embarrassingly smutty and sentimental Human/Vulcan love story is all over campus. Luckily for Jim, no one knows that he’s the author. Unluckily for Jim, someone forwarded the novel to the staff of the Vulcan embassy. Now, every Vulcan in San Francisco is reassessing the logical merits of taking Human bondmates.
Spock reads a Human/Vulcan romance novel because he can hardly avoid it. Suddenly, he is consumed by the need to locate the author, ascertain their wellbeing, and instruct them in the way of Vulcan mating bonds. Luckily for Spock, it doesn't take long to identify the author as Jim Kirk. Unluckily for Spock, Jim is unconscious and surrounded by interested Vulcans who also read the book.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 103,984
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Collections:
- 30
- Comments:
- 3,116
- Kudos:
- 15,198
- Bookmarks:
- 5,710
- Hits:
- 325,005
Bookmarked by halfthyme
06 Mar 2025
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The Third Wheel by littlebirdtold
Fandoms: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
23 Sep 2013
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Summary
Academy AU. In which Cadet Kirk constantly crashes Cadet Uhura's dates with Commander Spock and monopolizes his attention.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,580
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 186
- Kudos:
- 8,335
- Bookmarks:
- 1,963
- Hits:
- 106,539
Bookmarked by halfthyme
05 Mar 2025
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Something Smart to Do by kianspo
Fandoms: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek
01 May 2018
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Summary
In which Jim finds himself fake-married to his first officer every other month. It's not his fault. Mostly. Dowries and Klingons are involved. Starfleet is decidedly not amused.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,322
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 712
- Kudos:
- 21,150
- Bookmarks:
- 5,670
- Hits:
- 167,990
Bookmarked by halfthyme
05 Mar 2025
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Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I'm Yours) by kianspo for Jaylee
Fandoms: Star Trek (2009), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek
07 May 2011
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Summary
In which Spock contemplates the laws of attraction and realizes what a slippery slope that is only after he has already fallen. There's no help for him now.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,927
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 242
- Kudos:
- 13,033
- Bookmarks:
- 2,920
- Hits:
- 160,655
Bookmarked by halfthyme
05 Mar 2025
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Written on the Heart by who_la_hoop for noeon (noe)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
31 Dec 2016
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Summary
Harry doesn’t mind that so many Slytherins from his year have returned to finish their NEWTs, really he doesn’t. It’s just – do they have to be so friendly? He’s not prejudiced, really he’s not. It’s just – they’ve got to be up to something, right? Unnerved by the attention he’s attracting from everyone – the Slytherins are the least of it, to be fair – and struggling with a raft of changes to Hogwarts itself, Harry wishes he could be happy that one constant remains: Draco Malfoy really fucking hates him.
When he’s hit by an illegal love-spell though, Harry finds he has more to worry about than whether or not Blaise Zabini actually wants to be his friend. For if everyone affected has been blessed – or cursed, by the look on Malfoy’s face – with a magical tattoo revealing the name of their soulmate, what does it mean that Harry’s skin remains completely bare?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 113,984
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 2,453
- Kudos:
- 40,529
- Bookmarks:
- 9,514
- Hits:
- 758,547
Bookmarked by halfthyme
24 Sep 2024
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You Don't Have To (Say Yes) by luminousbeings
Fandoms: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
03 Apr 2016
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Summary
The abridged sexual history of James Tiberius Kirk.
Or, Jim’s varyingly unhealthy idea of what sex is supposed to be (a it-gets-worse-before-it-gets-better story)
Series
- Part 1 of You Don't Have To 'Verse
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 192,321
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 18
- Comments:
- 1,819
- Kudos:
- 9,129
- Bookmarks:
- 3,669
- Hits:
- 222,726
Bookmarked by halfthyme
20 Sep 2024
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blessed with a wilder mind by opinionhaver69
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Trilogy | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
08 Sep 2020
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Summary
“Gideon,” replied Harrow, thoroughly bored of this interaction already and taking no pains to hide it. “There’s been a noise complaint about your social gathering, and as it is…” – she made a great show of checking the watch she didn’t own and therefore wasn’t wearing – “…ass and balls o’clock in the morning, I’m here to tell you to break it up and go to sleep like good little children.” She made sure to infuse ‘social gathering’ with the exact same tone of withering condescension she’d use to say, like, ‘debauched orgy’ or ‘World War II LARP session’ or ‘tea party with Ronald and Nancy Reagan.’
Predictably, Gideon ignored her. Instead, she slouched even harder and more bonelessly against the doorframe and held her hand to her face in an upsettingly decent imitation of the thinking emoji. “Ortus again?” she asked eventually, her tone carefully pruned of all discernible emotion.
“I take my role as senior resident of these halls of accommodation very seriously, as you well know, and it is my duty to investigate all complaints promptly and vigorously while protecting the anonymity of the complainant,” said Harrow officiously. “But yes, it was Ortus, because he is a big girl’s blouse.”
Bookmarked by halfthyme
06 Sep 2024
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Summary
He clicks on the link. It redirects him to twitter, and Zoro goes still immediately once the post opens, his eyes widening as the pictures load. Whatever he's been expecting, it surely wasn't that.
_
OR Sanji is the proud owner of a femboy account and posts adult content to the internet to get by in life; Zoro just happens to like the man's smile (and content). Shenanigans ensue.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 118,233
- Chapters:
- 18/18
- Comments:
- 843
- Kudos:
- 1,787
- Bookmarks:
- 313
- Hits:
- 38,765
Bookmarked by halfthyme
07 Jul 2024
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among momentary days by inkatesbush
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
25 Jun 2024
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Summary
At the end of one particularly hot, stormy summer in twelfth-century medieval Britain, a certain injured snake slithers his way to Aziraphale’s front door.
OR: How Aziraphale and Crowley came to their Arrangement.
Bookmarked by halfthyme
26 Jun 2024
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Beef Stew for the Soul by HopeStoryteller
Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
30 Mar 2024
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Summary
Over the years, Pinako Rockbell's family has changed greatly. The world around her has changed greatly.
Her stew recipe, for the most part, has not.
Bookmarked by halfthyme
03 Jun 2024
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why does it feel like a vow by eddis
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
19 May 2024
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Summary
Pyrrha looked at Camilla with a question in her eyes, got some unspoken response, and added: “Also, I resent the implication that we're not already a real family. We have an absent father, somewhere between one to three kids, and are all fucked up to hell. What else do you need, the picket fence?”
“Well,” Nona said, looking mournfully at the sniper blinds, “it would be nice.”
On New Rho, public perception forces Nona's household to make their ambiguous bonds a little less ambiguous. Or: Pyrrha and Camilla get fake married.
Bookmarked by halfthyme
20 May 2024
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What's in a Name? by Purpleneutrino (luffymademedoit)
Fandoms: One Piece (Anime & Manga)
07 Oct 2023
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Summary
“I can’t decide,” said Sanji, pausing to exhale a slow stream of cigarette smoke, “whether it pisses me off, or endears me to him in some kind of fucked up way.”
Usopp looked up from his sketchbook to stare at him.
“Who and what are we talking about?”
“That shitty mosshead,” Sanji mumbled into his fingers as he took another drag. “He never calls me by my damn name.”
Sanji learns something new about Zoro. He doesn't take it well.
Bookmarked by halfthyme
28 Apr 2024
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Summary
“I see.” Zuko closes the scroll. “Is the Water Tribe sending a replacement?”
“Uh yeah,” Sokka gestures to himself dramatically. “You’re looking at him.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,490
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 786
- Kudos:
- 25,793
- Bookmarks:
- 5,797
- Hits:
- 241,627
Bookmarked by halfthyme
13 Mar 2024
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Mr. Carter and Mr. Potts by Speranza
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
16 Nov 2020
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Summary
Hi, honey: I'm bringing company home: Howard's son from the future!
Series
- Part 1 of Mr Carter & Mr Potts
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,386
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 432
- Kudos:
- 1,650
- Bookmarks:
- 349
- Hits:
- 18,099
Bookmarked by halfthyme
16 Dec 2023
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Summary
"I can hear your thoughts," Keith nearly whispered.
Lance went pale, but that wasn't what Keith was focused on. Because he could feel the horror creeping up inside himself as Lance heard his declaration. Because he could feel his own heart skip a beat in time with Lance's. Because he could feel the rejection bubbling up inside him as Lance frantically worked out what all this meant.
"Wh—what are you talking about?" Lance said, stumbling over his words even while his mind screamed clear as day please say you're lying just say you're fucking with me don't play these kinds of games with me—
In which the paladins are subjected to the unfortunate consequences of a broken mind meld program.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,354
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 261
- Kudos:
- 5,522
- Bookmarks:
- 901
- Hits:
- 59,204
Bookmarked by halfthyme
03 Sep 2023
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Summary
Iroh insists they create a new life and identity in Ba Sing Se. Zuko wants nothing more than to bide his time until his next opportunity to return home, until he realizes ‘Lee’ can get away with things Zuko never could.
Zuko dons the mantle of the Blue Spirit again only to lose his focus when the Avatar comes to the city. This time, however, his attention is drawn to the annoying Southern Tribe warrior.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 192,682
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 28
- Comments:
- 4,464
- Kudos:
- 26,413
- Bookmarks:
- 6,612
- Hits:
- 785,753
Bookmarked by halfthyme
23 Aug 2023
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Summary
The Fire Lord needs a new hairdresser, a grueling process of vetting and testing and background checking. Sokka might know just the person, though--if only he can find her in the city. And if only he can figure out how to make sure Zuko likes her without revealing the whole, you know. Fire Lord thing.
Or,
Sokka takes Zuko on a date in the city that does not go at all how Zuko expects it to. (At least not at first)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,275
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 267
- Kudos:
- 4,861
- Bookmarks:
- 803
- Hits:
- 41,628
Bookmarked by halfthyme
04 Dec 2022