1 - 20 of 44 Bookmarks by octopus_philosopher
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Gimli scandalizes Legolas by offering to braid his hair after the battle of Helm's Deep. Aragorn is far too amused.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,409
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 170
- Kudos:
- 12,627
- Bookmarks:
- 1,266
- Hits:
- 89,364
Bookmarked by octopus_philosopher
04 Mar 2026
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It starts because they’re eighteen, drunk, and stupid.
Bookmarked by octopus_philosopher
20 Feb 2026
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Inertia, momentum, gravity
Bookmarked by octopus_philosopher
20 Feb 2026
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The kid sends him keys, when he gets new apartments. The ones that Slade has actually been to have been terrible, and he doesn't expect this new one to be any different. When he gets there, however, it seems nice enough. Bigger than the last ones, nicer part of town, cleaner than most have started out as. Except for the clothing on the floor. Jacket, boots, shirt... Another shirt.
Hm. Now that's interesting.
Series
- Part 4 of More Chances Than Deserved 'Verse
Bookmarked by octopus_philosopher
29 Jan 2026
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When Roy settles down onto a Gotham rooftop to wait for a target, just about the last thing he's expecting is for some random - not a Bat - vigilante to drop down and get comfortable next to him. The guy's maybe a little strangely avoidant of his questions, but he doesn't seem like he means any harm, and it certainly doesn't hurt that he's handsome too.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,724
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 264
- Kudos:
- 7,377
- Bookmarks:
- 1,181
- Hits:
- 36,918
Bookmarked by octopus_philosopher
17 Jan 2026
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After a gruesome war finally comes to treaty, it is decided that the King of Piltover will take a bride from Zaun.
Viktor isn't expecting to be a candidate.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 52,379
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 3,697
- Kudos:
- 26,103
- Bookmarks:
- 6,742
- Hits:
- 438,254
Bookmarked by octopus_philosopher
10 Nov 2025
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Summary
Nobody tells you that when you get supernaturally reborn, you also have to get your wisdom teeth out.
Again.
Sure, you can also point a finger at the fact that Jason's appendix also returned (and re-burst), but that’s just another Tuesday. In fact, he was somewhat confident that he would have been able to do a chunk of the surgery himself before passing out. Not that he did, but he probably could have.
Alas, Jason does not fuck with teeth.
Bookmarked by octopus_philosopher
03 Nov 2025
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right back and biting by valkyriered
Fandoms: Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), DCU (Comics), Batman (Comics)
30 Dec 2022
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Summary
Jason thinks about how his parents used to do this.
How his mom and Willis would scream at each other outside their apartment, throwing vicious insults, making a scene. Willis, drunk and enraged. His mom, high, or craving a high.
Rich people fight like that too, Jason thinks. Their properties are just so big that nobody knows.
Bookmarked by octopus_philosopher
13 Oct 2025
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I, ___________________________, hereby acknowledge that this form represents my wishes should I contract phytoaphrodisiac-induced delirium (hereafter referred to as “PAID”) during engagements with or while apprehending Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley (“Poison Ivy”).
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The bats have a sex pollen release form. Because of course they do.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,099
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 801
- Kudos:
- 23,743
- Bookmarks:
- 5,245
- Hits:
- 140,577
Bookmarked by octopus_philosopher
02 Oct 2025
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I'll Feel the Sickness Less and Less by kitfornow
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
11 Mar 2025
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Summary
“I think the pit put me back together wrong. Or maybe the League did something to me, before I woke up.”
“Like…?”
“I’m not interested. In any of it."
“Sounds to me like you’re asexual,” Tim says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“Sounds to me like I’m unlovable,” Jason argues, mostly because he doesn’t know what that last word that Tim said was, but also partly because it’s true. Tim scoffs, and while Jason is still looking down at the street below, he can feel that Tim’s eyes have shifted to him.
Bookmarked by octopus_philosopher
21 Sep 2025
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Jason was doing his best not to feel any concern for Tim – it wasn’t Jason’s job to make sure Tim ate and slept and didn’t dose himself with harmful chemicals – but he had to admit to feeling somewhat disturbed. Did anyone else in the family know Tim was this bad at taking care of himself? Did anyone else care? Someone should have probably cared. Not Jason, but… someone.
“You must really hate yourself,” he observed.
Tim made a vague hand gesture. “It comes in waves.”
That was a joke, right? Jason was going to tell himself that was a joke. This was already more than he’d signed up for.
Series
- Part 1 of Take Cover
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,052
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 137
- Kudos:
- 3,893
- Bookmarks:
- 548
- Hits:
- 28,651
Bookmarked by octopus_philosopher
14 Sep 2025
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It's not about the Red Hood. It's that you didn't properly evacuate! by CheyanneChika
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Wayne Family Adventures (Webcomic), Justice League - All Media Types
15 May 2024
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Summary
Jason gets arrested by the Justice League. Instead of going in one at a time and getting incapacitated in increasingly entertaining ways before they can all break free, Tim and Babs decide to run the show. They don't even need to leave their bases to do it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,897
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 305
- Kudos:
- 5,794
- Bookmarks:
- 925
- Hits:
- 48,964
Bookmarked by octopus_philosopher
01 Sep 2025
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The Hellblazer's Apprentice by Blue_lotus
Fandoms: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Constantine: The Hellblazer (Comics), Constantine (Comic), Justice League - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics), Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010), Red Hood: Lost Days
08 Mar 2026
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Summary
If there are two things Jason knew for a fact that Batman hated, it's magic and John Constantine. Both were unpredictable and often dredged up chaos whenever they were present. So when Jason runs into Constantine while on his murder training world tour, he realized he could kill two birds with one stone.
Piss off Batman and learn magic to use against him?
He'd be an idiot not to take that opportunity.
Series
- Part 1 of The Hellblazer and Hood
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 85,339
- Chapters:
- 9/?
- Comments:
- 1,451
- Kudos:
- 3,768
- Bookmarks:
- 1,169
- Hits:
- 70,628
Bookmarked by octopus_philosopher
16 Jul 2025
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buy back the secrets by sundiscus for cairosene, remux, regional_catastrophe
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Young Justice - All Media Types
27 Feb 2025
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Summary
He takes a long, slow breath. Ignores the glares from the other students. “Superboy,” he murmurs. “It’s me. If you’re listening, I could use some help.”
Or: 5 times Superboy saves Tim Drake, and one time Tim Drake saves Superboy.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 113,013
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 3,279
- Kudos:
- 20,496
- Bookmarks:
- 7,093
- Hits:
- 404,960
Bookmarked by octopus_philosopher
24 Jun 2025
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Summary
When Robin jumps in front of Batman to protect him from Darkseid’s Omega Beam, he expects death, to see the light and then nothing else. What he doesn’t expect is to wake up in his ten-year-old self. He especially doesn’t expect the power to time travel at will.
Cue shenanigans as he tries to shape the world into his liking, one saved life or relationship at a time. Gotham’s never had a more accurate fortune teller. They're lucky Tim chooses not to be a supervillain.
OR
Gotham’s fortune teller brings the Batfamily home (and saves many along the way)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,104
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 280
- Kudos:
- 1,756
- Bookmarks:
- 390
- Hits:
- 15,634
Bookmarked by octopus_philosopher
21 Jun 2025
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Deal With the Devil by NameStartsWithN
Fandoms: Constantine (TV), Constantine (Comics), Constantine: The Hellblazer (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics)
08 Feb 2025
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Summary
Jason Todd doesn’t trust people. He especially doesn’t trust magic. But when a botched League of Shadows operation leaves him cursed with a death mark, he has no choice but to seek help from the one person who’s worse than the curse itself—John Constantine. The deal is simple: John removes the mark, and Jason owes him a favor. But nothing with Constantine is ever simple, and the deeper they get, the more Jason realizes the real danger isn’t the magic—it’s the way John smirks at him like he knows every dark thought in his head.
Bookmarked by octopus_philosopher
16 May 2025
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Haibara Yuu by cielelyse
Fandoms: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime)
10 Dec 2022
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Summary
Three (3) times Haibara doesn’t understand what’s going on with Gojo and Getou, and the one (1) time he does.
Series
- Part 5 of Volta
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,205
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 174
- Kudos:
- 3,232
- Bookmarks:
- 434
- Hits:
- 34,668
Bookmarked by octopus_philosopher
15 May 2025
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Caesura by cielelyse for YuliceChan
Fandoms: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime)
26 Sep 2022
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Summary
The first time they meet, Suguru and Satoru do not like each other. Arrogant, cocky, insufferable, they think. Despite the smirks Shoko gives Suguru, or the sighs Yaga gives Satoru, they do not like each other.
Until a mission changes that.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 85,574
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 1,418
- Kudos:
- 11,920
- Bookmarks:
- 2,996
- Hits:
- 284,220
Bookmarked by octopus_philosopher
09 May 2025
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Carry Me Home by valleykey
Fandoms: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime)
17 Apr 2022
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Summary
The boy shifts on his feet. “The year is two thousand and eighteen? Common Era?”
Slowly, smile still plastic on his face, Suguru faces Satoru. This fucking dumbass. “Satoru,” he says, dangerous edge to his voice, “what did you do?”
Satoru makes some bastardization of a sound, half between a laugh and a cough. “...Whoops?”
“I,” Suguru grits, pinching two fingers together, “am this close to mass murder.” He’s joking. Probably.
///OR: Shortly before Getō would have massacred a village, he and Gojō are thrust eleven years forward into a would-have-been future that Getō is conspicuously absent from.
Series
- Part 1 of Author's Favorites (JJK)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 58,467
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Collections:
- 45
- Comments:
- 2,469
- Kudos:
- 29,671
- Bookmarks:
- 8,684
- Hits:
- 489,208
Bookmarked by octopus_philosopher
29 Apr 2025
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Summary
Pope is many things.
A straight-A student. A scholarship candidate. A dutiful son. A great surfer.
Pope is not somebody who needs therapy. And if he did, he certainly wouldn’t need group therapy.
Yet here he is.
___
Or: John B, JJ, Pope, Kie, and Sarah meet in a six-week group therapy program.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,249
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 166
- Kudos:
- 1,294
- Bookmarks:
- 226
- Hits:
- 17,209
Bookmarked by octopus_philosopher
04 Feb 2025