Chapter 1: The New Girl
Chapter Text
"5 days to go, Johanna!"
Johanna Mason could already see the school gate in the distance. If she kept up her pace, she would only have to ignore the cruel, familiar voice for a minute or so. She gritted her teeth and continued walking as if she was completely unaware of the taunting that had started up behind her.
"Are you scared they're gonna call your name?" The same voice continued.
Johanna was still facing away from the bullies, so she let her eyes roll at the ridiculous question. Of course she was scared that her name would be called. Everyone was scared! That was practically the whole point of the reaping.
"Are you scared you're gonna cry, when they call your name?"
Johanna quickened her pace. Logically, she knew her name almost certainly wouldn't be called. It was only her second reaping, after all; only twelve of the thousands of slips of paper in the bowl would be marked with the name Johanna Mason. Some of the high schoolers' names were entered 50 times or more. They were the ones who really needed to be worried.
"Are you scared that it'll make your momma cry?"
That one was a little harder to ignore. Johanna pressed her lips together, put her head down and quickened her pace again. Her name wouldn't be chosen. Her mother wouldn't have anything to cry about.
To distract herself, Johanna busied her mind trying to understand why these people were acting as though fear of the reaping was something to be ashamed of. Every child and parent in Panem were scared of the reaping. If anything, it would be weirder not to be scared. Bullies often didn't make sense, she supposed.
"Oh, she is scared! Look at her face!"
The three bullies must have run a few paces to catch up with her. Surrounding her, and practically jogging to keep up with her rushed pace, they began to laugh.
Johanna could feel an indignant rage bubbling its way up inside her. She channelled the energy into speeding up even further, hoping to get through the school gate as soon as possible. Some days, a teacher would stand near the gate to greet students. If there was one there today, she would be safe soon.
"Are you scared that your little brothers will have to watch you die?"
A painful image of her upset brothers flashed, unwelcome into Johanna's mind. She couldn't help it - and it was the last straw.
Johanna stopped abruptly, and turned to the leader of the small gang of bullies.
"Yes, Olivia, I worry about my brothers," Johanna snapped. "And I worry about my mom, and my dad, too. Because that's what families do! Or - at least they do when they love each other. I guess you wouldn't know much about that."
It wasn't quite the first time Johanna had retaliated to Olivia's bullying. In the past month or so, Johanna had begun hovering around some kind of breaking point. However, it was the first time she'd ever dared to make such a personal attack. A moment of tense silence dawned over all four children while Johanna's words sank in.
Then, the silence was broken by a guttural growl. Olivia's worn out shoes scraped against the dusty path as she lunged towards Johanna. Her hands met Johanna's shoulders, and shoved her hard and fast against the heavy school fence.
The breath was instantly knocked out of Johanna's lungs, and her head cracked against the thick wood. Either from the adrenaline of delivering a cutting retort to her bully, or the impact of her skull against the fence, Johanna felt slightly dizzy. She probably would have fallen over, if not for the hand that had slipped around her neck, keeping her pinned against the fence.
"Say that again!" Olivia challenged, shouting in Johanna's face and squeezing her neck.
To Johanna's surprise, she realised she wanted to. It had felt so good to finally hurt Olivia, that the urge to do it again was burning hot within her. She wasn't stupid enough to do it, though - not with Olivia's hand squeezing her neck.
She was relatively confident that it would be physically impossible to speak at the moment, anyway. Instead, she silently, defiantly glared up at the bully.
"I will crush your fucking thro-"
Olivia wasn't able to complete her threat.
In the same instant that her voice was cut off, Olivia's hand quickly left Johanna's throat.
Johanna quickly gasped in a ragged, pained breath, trying her best to prepare herself for the next assault.
But it didn't come.
Over the sound of the air wheezing through her compressed windpipe, Johanna could hear a yelp. It was seamlessly followed by a soft thud. Through her dizziness and the tears in her eyes, it took Johanna a second to realise both sounds had been made by Olivia.
Relief and intrigue began to flow through Johanna as she brought a hand to her injured neck to massage it. She took another, easier breath, and looked over at Olivia, sprawled on the dirt floor. Even through her watery eyes, Johanna could see the shocked, scared expression on Olivia's face. It made her feel happy, in an unusually cruel kind of way.
An unfamiliar girl loomed over Olivia. She must be the reason for Olivia's shock, Johanna reasoned.
"You leave her the fuck alone, or you'll be the one getting your throat crushed."
The girl's voice was quiet and low. Somehow, the calmness of it was far scarier than shouting.
After a pause to assess whether the unfamiliar girl was finished, the two other bullies hurried forward to help Olivia scrabble to her feet.
Johanna watched them, revelling in their fear for a change. The unfamiliar girl wasn't watching them, though.
"Are you okay?" she asked Johanna, her voice unrecognisably soft and high compared to the near-growl she had used to threaten Olivia.
Johanna was still massaging her neck, and didn't want to risk talking yet. She quickly glanced at the girl and nodded, but kept most of her attention on her bullies. Olivia was on her feet, and Johanna needed to make sure she wasn't about to launch another assault. She didn't even pause to dust herself off, though - Olivia hurried towards the school gate with her friends in tow, barely looking back.
Satisfied that Olivia was finished for now, Johanna finally looked at the unfamiliar girl properly.
She was five or six inches taller than Johanna, and had strong muscles peeking out from her shirt sleeves and filling out her pants. Johanna would have thought the girl was a high schooler, if not for the fact she was standing thirty feet from the entrance to the middle school, just minutes before the first bell was due to ring.
"Here," the girl took a smooth, shiny bottle from her school bag, unscrewed the lid, and held it out to Johanna.
Johanna stared at it in wonder. No repairs, no dents - not even a scratch. No one in their school ever owned anything this new. Johanna was careful as she accepted it, scared of dropping it.
"Thanks," she croaked out, and then took a sip of the water.
It soothed her throat almost instantly.
Having lived her whole life in Weston - which was one of the poorer regions within a poor district - Johanna knew to be sparing with food and water. But the cool liquid helped the pain in her throat so much that she couldn't resist swallowing another few mouthfuls before handing the bottle back.
The girl gave Johanna a warm smile as she retrieved her bottle and began to replace the lid. She didn't seem to mind at all that Johanna had drained almost a quarter of the water it held.
"So," the girl began.
Within the single, inquisitive syllable, Johanna could hear the girl's confidence, kindness and intelligence.
Aside from a handful of career tributes in compulsory broadcasting of the Hunger Games, Johanna had never heard any children sound like this before. It was almost mesmerising.
"What was that about?" the girl finished the question.
Now that the urgency of the situation was wearing off, Johanna noticed the girl's accent.
Some of her words were spoken in the classic Weston accent, but others were a little different - almost like the capitol. Johanna knew a little about accents from TV - most presenters had the capitol accent, and the Hunger Games interviews displayed all the different district accents. Johanna hadn't seen enough of the Hunger Games to know the different district accents yet, though. Plus, even within district seven, accents had small differences.
Based on her limited knowledge, and the few words she'd heard the girl say, Johanna speculated that the girl's accent could be from the central region of district seven - the wealthiest part.
If that was right, what did it mean? Johanna hadn't ever met anyone from outside Weston before, so she had no idea.
Instead of speculating further, Johanna quickly decided not to be intimidated by the girl's unusual accent and commanding presence. She answered the girl's question as simply and casually as she could.
"She doesn't like me." Johanna's voice was still a little croaky, but speaking didn't hurt much.
To Johanna's surprise, the girl laughed at her. It wasn't a cruel laugh. If anything, it was kind.
"Yeah, I could see that!" she said, through her laughter, "But why?"
Johanna hesitated.
The question had plagued her for over a year. One day, they were acquaintances who shared one or two classes. The next day, Olivia had started calling Johanna names. Over a period of weeks, it had escalated to insults, stealing and, eventually, violence. Johanna hadn't yet been able to figure out why it had started.
Over the past year, Johanna had been asked multiple times why Olivia had burned her hair, or damaged her coat, or thrown her school bag into a tree. Whenever Johanna answered that she didn't know, she had been met with one of three frustrating responses: disbelief, mockery, or pity.
Somehow, deep in her bones, Johanna instinctively knew she didn't want this girl to mock her or pity her. She didn't know why, but she knew it would hurt more than usual, coming from her. She considered making up an answer that would satisfy the question. But she felt an unexpected compulsion to be honest, too - despite the risk.
"I don't know," Johanna shrugged, earnestly.
She steeled herself, waiting for the suspicion, or teasing or patronising sympathy that would sting more than ever.
But the only sound from the girl's lips was a quiet, contemplative hum. When Johanna looked into her eyes, the girl seemed to be concentrating, as if attempting to solve a puzzle. Johanna was relieved to realise that the girl believed her. She wasn't going to pity or ridicule her, either. And at that, Johanna was hit with the sudden, clear understanding that she desperately wanted to be friends with this girl.
The first step towards becoming friends was to keep the conversation going - ideally on a different topic. So, Johanna said the first thing that came into her head.
"Are you the new kid?" she asked.
For half a second, the girl seemed caught off guard by Johanna's question. Johanna immediately began to worry that her change of topic had been too abrupt. But the girl recovered quickly, before Johanna's concern managed to spiral too far.
"Yes," the girl nodded, holding out her hand for a proper introduction, "I'm Linden. It's nice to meet you."
The idea of shaking hands with a classmate felt too adult, too archaic, too formal. But something about Linden's demeanour compelled Johanna to go along with it. Johanna slid her small, clammy hand into Linden's strong, cool palm, and she found that she enjoyed it, despite its strangeness.
"I'm Johanna," She replied, mimicking Linden's confident tone. "It's nice to meet you, too. And thanks for… uh… "
Johanna trailed off, and dropped Linden's hand. She wasn't sure exactly how to end her sentence, so she gestured towards the fence where Olivia had pinned her and repeated, "Thanks."
"Don't worry about it," Linden replied, shrugging Johanna's thanks off with another winning smile. "Three on one is hardly fair - it was only right to even it up a bit."
Johanna found Linden's logic comforting. She preferred thinking that Linden hadn't helped her out of pity, but rather out of some kind of sense of moral duty. It was much easier to accept.
"If they give you any more trouble, let me know," Linden continued.
The kind, genuine offer made Johanna smile as she massaged her neck again. The smile was quickly tinged with sadness, though, as Johanna thought of just how much more trouble Olivia was likely to cause.
Chapter 2: Safer
Chapter Text
It was really only Olivia and her small group of friends who bullied Johanna. None of the other children had got involved - not yet, anyway. But over the past year or so, Johanna's classmates had gradually learned that associating with Johanna was an easy way to get themselves caught up in Olivia's torment. As a result, they steered clear of her as much as possible.
Sitting alone in most of her classes suited Johanna just fine. It meant fewer distractions and more space. Despite this, Johanna wasn't disappointed at all when the History teacher introduced the new student to the class and directed her to the only empty chair in the room - the chair next to Johanna. In fact, Johanna struggled to hide the smile that tried to force its way onto her face as Linden wove between the wooden desks towards her.
When Linden gave Johanna another broad, warm smile as she approached the desk, Johanna immediately stopped trying to mask her own joy. She mirrored Linden's smile back to her.
The history lesson flew by, and Johanna was sad to discover that they didn't share the next class. However, to Johanna's delight, the girls also shared the final class of the morning. Once again, Linden was instructed to take the empty seat next to Johanna. By the time the lunch bell rang, Johanna realised that maybe she didn't prefer to sit alone, after all.
"Uh, hey," Linden said to Johanna as the class began to pack up for lunch. She spoke so softly that her voice was almost unrecognisable from the hard threats she had delivered at their introduction that morning.
At the sound of Linden's slightly-nervous tone, Johanna looked up from her bag.
"Hey," Johanna replied, questioningly.
"So, uh, I was wondering… Could I maybe eat lunch with you today?" Linden asked, somewhat shyly.
Johanna's stomach turned over with excitement. She usually spent her lunch break hiding from Olivia in a tree, reading a book. It was a pleasant enough way to pass the time, especially at this time of year. But, now that Linden had suggested it, Johanna wanted nothing more than to spend lunchtime with the new girl. More accurately, she wanted to spend as much time as possible with her. She was just about to tell Linden that she would love to eat lunch together, when another thought occurred to her.
Although Johanna had convinced herself that she liked reading alone in a tree at break times, she also didn't exactly have much choice in the matter. The other children avoided her, so as not to attract Olivia's wrath by association. Johanna didn't want to cause anyone any trouble - least of all someone who had been so kind to her.
Sorting through her thoughts had caused Johanna to hesitate for a while. Before she could begin to try to explain why Linden shouldn't eat with her, Linden began to backpedal.
"You don't have to-" Linden rushed, growing slightly flustered in a way that made Johanna's heart feel weird.
"No, it's not that," Johanna assured her, almost desperately.
Linden looked at Johanna quizzically, already regaining her usual confidence.
"So, what is it?" Linden asked, with a childlike directness that contrasted strongly with her earlier teenage awkwardness.
Johanna struggled to decide how to phrase it. Eventually, she sighed and asked, "Haven't you noticed?"
"Noticed what?"
Linden had only been at the school for half a day, Johanna supposed. She probably had a lot to learn, and hadn't had time to pick up on the social patterns of her classmates. Johanna hesitated again, trying to find the right words.
"It's safer to stay away from me," Johanna explained, carefully.
"What?" Linden asked, sounding confused. "Why?"
Johanna looked around the room, waiting for the final few students to filter out before quietly answering, "Because of Olivia."
Linden didn't miss a beat, immediately asking, "The bitch from this morning?"
Johanna's eyes grew wide at the use of the curse word, and Linden grinned proudly at the reaction she had elicited from Johanna.
"Oh, I'm not worried about her," Linden shrugged casually, zipping up her bag.
"You should be!" Johanna protested.
Linden scoffed, but Johanna didn't feel like the derision was targeted at her.
"I could fight her with one hand!"
Linden said the words with such conviction that Johanna instantly believed her. A tension that Johanna hadn't consciously noticed began to drain away from her body. It was steadily being replaced with a strange sense of hope.
The girls regarded each other for a while, deciding how to proceed. Then, with a soft chuckle, Johanna realised something.
"What?" Linden asked, with a playful suspicion that broadened Johanna's smile even further.
"You already did," Johanna grinned.
Linden's friendly, hopeful smile matched Johanna's.
"So," Linden began to move the conversation on, effortlessly swinging her bag onto her shoulder, "Where are we eating lunch?"
Chapter 3: Trading
Chapter Text
Out in the yard, Johanna led Linden to her usual tree. For once, she didn't scurry up into the protection of its branches. Instead, Johanna and Linden settled in the small patch of scattered shade on the ground, and began to unpack their lunches from their bags.
"What's that?" Linden asked, staring with curiosity at Johanna's food.
The question wasn't said with cruelty. Nevertheless, it still made Johanna feel a little self-conscious, which in turn triggered a defensive instinct. Her lunch wasn't unusual: most of her classmates brought similar food with them to school. A combination of politeness, kindness and maturity allowed Johanna not to make any of the defensive comments that were on the tip of her tongue.
The additional couple of seconds she had gained by pausing her reaction allowed Johanna to think a little more deeply about the implications of Linden's question. Linden was looking at Johanna's typical Weston school lunch of nut butter on flatbread as if she'd never seen it before. Johanna added the observation to a list she hadn't even realised she was making: Linden's fancy water bottle, the handshake before school, the occasional capitol-like notes that mingled into the mild, well-spoken version of Weston's accent. Linden really wasn't like the rest of the people in town.
Possibly a little too late, Johanna realised that Linden was still waiting for an answer.
"It's nut butter," Johanna said, holding out her food for Linden to get a better look.
"For lunch?" Linden sounded surprised, but still not judgemental.
Johanna enjoyed Linden's open curiosity, and felt glad she hadn't acted defensively.
"Yeah," Johanna confirmed, deliberately trying to keep any note of judgement out of her voice..
"We'd sometimes have it for dessert at my old school," Linden elaborated, as she set her shiny, metal box on the ground, "but not for main course."
Now it was Johanna's turn to be curious. Was Linden implying that her last school supplied food to its students? Not just food, but also dessert - which was nut butter?
Johanna was about to start asking the questions raised by Linden's explanation, but she suddenly found herself unable to speak as she was met with the sight of the extravagant assortment of food neatly packed into Linden's lunchbox.
It wasn't that Johanna didn't recognise the food; she had seen similar bread, cheese and cakes in the high-end shops in town. The fruit was somewhat familiar, too - though she couldn't have named any of it. It was just unthinkable that someone attending Weston Middle School would have brought food like this for lunch. It must have cost a fortune.
"Nut butter travels better than cheese," Linden lamented, morosely inspecting the oily coating on the tepid cheese inside her sandwich. She held it out for Johanna to see, and it glistened in the sunlight. Johanna subconsciously licked her lips.
The pale yellow slice didn't look like any cheese Johanna had ever eaten before - but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. She tried to push aside thoughts of how it would feel to bite into the soft bread. She couldn't believe Linden was looking at the food with disappointment. It was easily the fanciest meal Johanna had ever seen in real life.
"Wanna trade?" Johanna joked.
She had been aiming to highlight to Linden how superior the cheese sandwich was to Johanna's nut butter.
"Sure," Linden agreed, sincerely. She held her sandwich out to Johanna, who promptly began to panic.
"Oh, no, I was just joking!" Johanna backtracked, burning up with embarrassment. "It's yours!"
"But I hate warm cheese," Linden countered, earnestly, "And I like nut butter. I wanna trade, if you wanna trade?"
A conflict raged through Johanna. She desperately wanted to try the soft bread, the thin layer of mysterious paste, and the unfamiliar cheese. But it was wrong to take food that wasn't hers. Not taking, she corrected herself. Trading. And trading was allowed. But trading was supposed to be fair, and this didn't seem fair at all: the bread in Linden's lunch box must have cost half a day's work.
On the other hand, though, waste was also wrong. If Linden wasn't going to eat the sandwich, then it was better that Johanna traded to make sure that all the food got eaten.
Linden gently shook her lunch box in front of Johanna, playfully, silently telling her to hurry up and make a decision.
"Halfsies?" Johanna suggested.
It was the most reasonable compromise she could think of on the spot. Linden agreed, and eagerly exchanged half of her sandwich for half of Johanna's flatbread.
Johanna instantly became lost in the experience of the sandwich. The bread felt impossibly light against her fingers. She inhaled its gently yeasty scent, undercut with the unmistakable smell of the cheese and something acidic. Her eyes flickered shut with the pleasure of sinking her teeth into the soft texture. The salty, tangy cheese wasn't quite what Johanna had expected, but it was good, too. And the pickle in the sandwich complimented it just right. She couldn't remember ever tasting anything so good.
Johanna's eyes opened as she was finishing her first bite. They landed on Linden scrunching her nose up as she chewed a bite of flatbread and nut butter.
Guilt and disappointment instantly bloomed up inside Johanna. She swallowed, then quickly offered, "Do you want to swap back?"
Still chewing, Linden shook her head and held up her hand in protest.
"Come on, you hate it!" Johanna began to insist.
Linden shook her head again, then finally swallowed the dense bread, and explained, "No, I don't hate it - it was just a surprise."
"A surprise? Why?"
"I was expecting it to be sweet."
"Sweet!?"
Johanna was confused. Nut butter wasn't sweet. Sometimes they would add salt to it, if they had any spare. But affordable sweet foods were generally hard to come by in district seven - especially in Weston.
"Yeah, it was always sweet at my old school," Linden confirmed.
She began to arrange some of the berries from her lunch box on top of the flatbread, which Johanna assumed was an attempt to make it sweeter. She admired Linden's resilience, proactivity and determination.
"I didn't even know schools could give you food," Johanna admitted as she watched Linden catch a deep red berry that hadn't sufficiently stuck to the thin layer of nut butter.
"Well, I kinda lived there," Linden explained. "So, they had to feed us."
The nonchalant statement piqued Johanna's curiosity even further. Meanwhile, Linden took a confident bite of the berry-covered flatbread, then smiled in approval.
Her smile was the most infectious Johanna had ever known.
"Better?" Johanna asked, mirroring Linden's smile.
Busy chewing again, Linden just nodded enthusiastically in reply. Johanna took it as permission to take another bite of the cheese sandwich. Somehow, the second taste was even better than the first.
"You should try adding berries to your half," Linden suggested, rotating her lunchbox so that the small container of berries pointed towards Johanna.
Johanna felt anxiety begin to build again at the offer of more of Linden's food. But she quickly convinced herself that there were enough berries in Linden's lunchbox for her to politely try a few without much worry. Johanna politely thanked Linden, carefully selected two of each colour, and added them to her flatbread. Then, she steered the conversation back to Linden's old school.
"So, you lived at school?" Johanna prompted.
She was vaguely aware of the concept of children living in schools from a book she had read a few years ago. Until now, though, she hadn't been sure that it was real.
"Mhm," Linden answered, giving Johanna a casual nod while she chewed.
"Why?" Johanna continued, "Are your parents teachers?"
Linden shook her head, still too busy eating to elaborate further.
In the second after she had spoken, Johanna had realised that it was a stupid question: no teachers would be able to afford food like this. Even the government officials' kids didn't bring such fresh bread in for lunch.
"My mom travels a lot for work," Linden explained when she finished her mouthful, "so she decided it was better to send us to boarding school."
Something about the way Linden spoke made it clear to Johanna that she was choosing her words carefully. It further increased her curiosity.
However, she was struck too hard by another realisation to focus on that just yet.
She thought of the way her father kissed the top of her head every day before she left for school, and the way her mother's arms were always waiting for her at the end of the day.
"You didn't live with your parents?" Johanna asked, her eyes widening.
She would miss her mom and dad so much if she lived at school. There was also the matter of Olivia. The idea of having no escape from her torment made Johanna feel sick.
"Well, I only have one parent - just my mom," Linden explained, "But yeah, my sister and brother and I lived at the school - except for holidays, of course."
"Do you live with your mom now, then?" Johanna asked.
"No, she's getting ready for another trip," Linden said, matter-of-factly. "I'm living with my uncles, now."
"If your mom is still travelling," Johanna asked, cautiously, "Then why did you leave your old school?"
Linden smiled a shy, guilty smile. Johanna felt her anticipation rise as she waited for the answer.
"I got expelled," Linden admitted, failing to hide a hint of pride in her expression.
Johanna gasped. She knew what the word meant, but she had never heard of it happening in real life. There was only one of each school in Weston, so perhaps they weren't allowed to expel students.
"Why?" Johanna asked, before realising how invasive her question might be. "No," she quickly followed, "Sorry. You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to."
Linden's grin was growing even more prideful, though - she was definitely happy to share.
"They kicked me out for fighting too many times," she answered, sounding pleased about it.
The kind, smart, inquisitive girl who had just traded half her lunch with Johanna didn't seem like the kids who repeatedly got into trouble for fighting at Weston Middle school. However, Johanna then thought back to earlier that day. As kind as Linden had been to Johanna, they had met because Linden had grabbed Olivia off Johanna and thrown the bully to the floor.
"Figures," Johanna smirked, affectionately.
"Some of those kids were just such assholes!" Linden defended, causing Johanna to blush again at the curse. "They think that because their parents are so fancy, they can do anything!"
"You fought the fancy kids, huh?" Johanna continued, enjoying the feeling of the mild, friendly banter. "What got you expelled? Did you punch the mayor's kid or something?"
"Pretty much," Linden said, chuckling now through her proud smile.
Johanna slightly raised an eyebrow, encouraging Linden to continue.
"This girl was saying really mean things to my little brother," Linden keenly obliged, "and I asked her to stop - twice . But she carried on, and then one day I saw her push him."
Johanna was still waiting, silently asking for more
"So, I punched her nose," Linden shrugged, as if it was the obvious course of action, "Aaaaand it broke."
Linden gave a little grimace at the last part, though her prideful expression hadn't waned much.
"She deserved it," Johanna replied, surprising herself with how harsh the words sounded.
"She did!" Linden agreed. "And I mean, she wasn't actually a mayor's kid, but both her parents have pretty fancy jobs. So the school wanted to, like, show off to them. And that's why they kicked me out."
As proud as Linden seemed of herself for defending her younger brother, she also seemed bitter about the unfair consequences she had faced.
"I'm sorry," Johanna sympathised.
They each ate another bite of their food in a companionable silence.
"Olivia reminds of that girl," Linden added.
Perhaps that explained why Linden had so readily intervened in the altercation that morning - perhaps she was channelling her feelings about the girl at her old school, and her bullied little brother, and the injustice of her expulsion.
Johanna didn't know what to say, and settled for a conciliatory, "that sucks."
"Not really," Linden shrugged. "I know how to deal with people like her."
Again, Johanna admired Linden's attitude. Then, a thought occurred to her.
"Plus," Johanna said, catching Linden's eye almost conspiratorially, "Olivia's dad isn't the mayor."
Linden looked confused, so Johanna spelled it out for her.
"You wouldn't get kicked out for breaking her nose."
The understanding of Johanna's dark joke dawned over Linden's expression, lighting it up. The sound of her ensuing laugh felt like arriving home after a long day. Johanna knew she had to make Linden laugh again, soon.
"I'll bear that in mind, for if she ever hurts you again," Linden told Johanna with a kind, cheeky smile.
Johanna grinned back at her. She could feel herself blushing again, too.
Not wanting to dwell on the semi-serious threats of violence for too long, Johanna decided to return to the topic of Linden's old school.
"Can I ask another question about your boarding school?" Johanna asked, not quite sure that she'd even said it right.
"Sure," Linden easily agreed.
Johanna probably had ten questions brewing. Without second-guessing herself, Johanna asked the first one that came to mind.
"Did you get to go home at weekends, or did you have to stay there all the time?"
"We didn't have to stay, but we mostly did," Linden explained, "Just because it's a lot of travelling otherwise. But we'd always come back to Seven in the holidays."
Linden realised her mistake as soon as the words left her mouth. She froze in panic for a moment, then began an attempt to stumble out a correction.
"I mea-"
"Back to Seven?" Johanna repeated, in a scandalised whisper.
"Shhh," Linden hushed Johanna, despite the fact that she was already whispering.
"Back here? You mean… you left the district!?" Johanna continued, straining to keep her voice low, although none of the other students were paying any attention to them.
"I'm not supposed to tell anyone," Linden almost hissed, full of urgency, "My mom thinks I might get bullied or whatever."
"I won't tell," Johanna said, speaking almost reflexively as her mind began to whirr.
The children of Panem couldn't go to school in one of the other districts. It wasn't just illegal, it was impossible. However, a tiny number of district children - those whose parents had significant capitol connections - were educated at one of the capitol's boarding schools.
There were probably a few ways that someone from the districts could gain sufficient wealth and prestige to enable their children to be educated in the capitol, but Johanna could only think of one: being a victor.
It was like a final clue in a puzzle she barely knew she'd been working on. The wealth that was apparent from Linden's belongings and food, the hint of capitol in Linden's accent, her fighting skills, her tall, athletic frame, the way her brown hair flashed red when the sun caught it just right.
Johanna looked around to make sure there was no one else within earshot. She even glanced up into the tree above them, to check that no one was hiding in its branches. When she was satisfied that they were alone, Johanna leaned in and dropped her voice to an even quieter whisper.
"Linden, is your mom Yvie Cooper?"
District seven currently had four surviving victors. Among them, Yvie, the winner of the 41st hunger games, was the only woman. Consequently, she had been a mentor in every Hunger Games since before Johanna was born. Like most mentors, Yvie was a celebrity in her home district. But, to the girls of district seven, she was more than that: she had been presented to them as a real life superhero.
Linden's eyes darted around, triple-checking that no one was listening in, before giving Johanna an almost imperceptible nod. Johanna's eyes and mouth fell open with excitement.
"You can't tell anyone!" Linden insisted, urgently.
"Who would I tell, Linden?" Johanna asked, sounding almost exasperated at the ridiculous suggestion. "You've already met all my friends." She held her arms out to demonstrate that they were alone: she didn't have any friends to tell.
Linden laughed at Johanna's somewhat-dark joke. Again, Johanna relished in the sound of it.
"Do you promise?" Linden asked.
Linden held out her pinky finger, and Johanna looked at it in mild confusion.
"I promise I won't tell," Johanna nodded.
"No, you need to," Linden insisted, and wiggled her finger to demonstrate what she meant.
Johanna still had no idea what she needed to do. She mirrored Linden's position, holding out her own littlest finger. Linden laughed again, eliciting the radiation of a warm feeling from Johanna's stomach. Linden leaned forward and used her other hand to pull Johanna's hand closer. The second Linden's fingers touched hers, Johanna felt her face burn hot. Usually, the only time Johanna made physical contact with anyone in school was when Olivia was hurting her. It was simultaneously strange and wonderful to feel the kind, helpful pressure of Linden's gentle grip.
"Like this," Linden said, gently wrapping their pinky fingers together.
Johanna never wanted to let go.
"Do you promise not to tell anyone?"
"I promise," Johanna repeated, earnestly.
Linden released the link between their fingers, and returned to her food.
"What's the finger thing for?" Johanna asked, still not sure what had happened.
"It's a pinky swear," Linden explained as she chewed, "If you break the promise, then I break your finger."
Johanna liked and trusted Linden as much as it was possible to like and trust someone you'd known for half a day. She didn't think her new friend would break her finger. But still, the explanation made her shudder a little. She didn't doubt that Linden could easily do it, if she wanted to.
Chapter 4: Registration
Chapter Text
Over the rest of the week, Johanna's school life greatly improved. She and Linden shared over half their classes, and sat together in almost all of them. Outside of class, they spent every break and lunchtime together, trading food and developing an easy, dark banter. And best of all, Olivia hadn't said another word to Johanna all week.
On reaping day, however, Olivia slid up to Johanna in their school's registration queue. Johanna willed herself to ignore the bully. Her heart couldn't do it, though - it started to beat harder in her chest. Even Olivia wasn't bold enough to risk hurting Johanna in full view of a dozen or more peacekeepers. The proximity was unnerving, regardless
"Where's your girlfriend, Johanna?" Olivia teased, with a cruel smile.
Was that all Olivia could muster? To Johanna's pleasant surprise, the taunting was much less intimidating than usual. Perhaps the adrenaline of reaping day was taking the edge off. Or, perhaps the presence of dozens of peacekeepers lining the square, poised to break up any fights, was helping. But neither of those factors had helped last year. So, perhaps her ease had more to do with the newfound sense of safety that she'd felt since meeting Linden.
Whatever the cause, Johanna decided to make the most of the opportunity. She steeled herself, almost second-guessed herself, and then went for it.
"Fuck off, Olivia."
A few surprised glances sprung onto the faces of the children around them, before everyone continued to pretend to ignore the situation.
"Ooooh," Olivia mocked, "Has the new girl been teaching you some new words?"
Johanna simply turned away, making a deliberate show of ignoring Olivia. She wouldn't usually dare to turn her eyes away from the bully, but there wasn't much Olivia could do to her today, with peacekeepers all around them.
"Hey!" Olivia snapped.
She darted forward and grabbed Johanna's wrist, turning her back around so that they were eye-to-eye.
"Leave me alone," Johanna demanded, wrenching her hand free.
The next moment, a peacekeeper appeared. She had pushed through the crowd, taken hold of Olivia's arm, and gruffly instructed her to, "Come with me," all before Johanna had even straightened out her dress.
As Olivia was herded through the crowd, Johanna smiled to herself. She hadn't known for sure that Olivia would grab her. And she hadn't known for sure that it would be enough to get the peacekeepers' attention. But even so, as Olivia was practically thrown at the registration desk by a power-happy peacekeeper, Johanna felt like she'd somewhat orchestrated the punishment.
"What happened there?"
Johanna quickly turned at the sound of her friend's voice, and was met with a curious, pleased smile.
"Nothing," Johanna answered, her voice and expression tinged with pride.
"Peacekeepers don't drag people to the front of the line for nothing," Linden insisted.
"She was trying to get me to look at her, and she was stupid enough to grab my arm in front of a peacekeeper," Johanna explained, trying to sound nonchalant. "They took her away before she had a chance to do anything else."
"She's gonna have a peacekeeper next to her all day, now," Linden chuckled.
"She probably should every day," Johanna replied, darkly.
The girls shared another smile, but it was cut short when the queue moved forward, reminding them where they were. After a tense moment of silence, Johanna gently spoke up.
"How are you feeling?"
In reply, Linden just gave a sad, resigned shrug.
"You?"
"Same," Johanna agreed.
"Have you got a plan?" asked Linden.
Johanna looked up at Linden in confusion.
"A plan," Linden repeated, "For if it's you."
Johanna shook her head, without dropping her questioning expression. Gradually, Linden seemed to register that Johanna had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. She paused for a moment, thinking. Then, she began to explain herself.
"Everyone's scared of being reaped, obviously. But that doesn't mean you should look scared if they call your name. The tributes from Seven always cry or tremble when they're reaped. And it's a bad idea. You need sponsors if you're gonna win. So, you've gotta get their attention - right from the start."
Johanna was taken aback. She had never thought of it like that before. As far as she was concerned, if her name was ever called then she'd be dead before her next birthday. Linden's words made sense, though - or, at least they made sense for anyone who stood a chance of winning.
"Makes sense," Johanna agreed, thoughtfully.
"You should think of one," Linden said.
"I don't know how," Johanna replied. "What's your plan?"
"I can't tell you."
"Why?"
"I don't really know why, but mom said it has to stay secret."
Without any ideas from which to draw inspiration, Johanna couldn't think of what she might do if her name was called. So, she decided to ask for suggestions.
"Then, what do you think I should do?"
"It depends on your strategy," Linden replied.
"What?"
"Your strategy for how you'd play the games."
"I… don't have one of those, either."
"Oh," Linden muttered, shocked by the idea that Johanna was unprepared. "In that case, I guess you should just do anything that would grab peoples' attention," Linden said, trying to be helpful despite clearly feeling out of her depth.
"Like what?"
"Like… hop to the stage on one leg, or do a cartwheel or something," Linden suggested. "I don't really know. Just… don't cry. Sponsors hate that. You can cry after, when there are no cameras. But when you're on the stage, you have to pretend to be confident."
"That's easy for you to say," Johanna retorted, "You'd win!"
Linden scrunched up her nose and shook her head.
"Nah. Maybe if I was older, but not yet."
The calm, neutral way that Linden delivered her response was what struck Johanna the hardest. Both children seemed shocked by the other's approach to the reaping. Linden had clearly given the matter a lot of thought - which, now that Johanna was considering it properly, made sense. Of course Linden's mom, a victor and mentor, had prepared her children for what to do if their names were called.
And of course Johanna's parents, who would read fairytales to their children during the mandatory Hunger Games broadcasts, had not created a reaping plan for Johanna.
Linden's comment was still hanging in the air, threatening to turn sour. Johanna searched for a way to respond, and an optimistic thought soon came to mind.
"Finnick was fourteen," she pointed out.
Compared to Linden, Johanna didn't know much at all about the Hunger Games - not even the names of many of its victors. She couldn't remember the name of last year's victor, for example. But Finnick was different. His victory three years prior had instilled hope in the younger children that they, too, could win. Johanna and her classmates were just the right age to have been swept up in it all.
"But I'm three months younger than he was when he won," Linden countered Johanna's point. "And I'm almost three inches smaller. I wouldn't win."
Normally, a matter-of-fact statement about the bleak likelihood of a friend's death wouldn't trigger a smile. However, Johanna could feel the corners of her mouth curling.
She wasn't smiling about Linden's bleak prospects if her name was picked today. She was smiling about the other things she'd said.
In the few days they'd known each other, Linden had told Johanna about a dozen facts and statistics about the Hunger Games. For the most part, Johanna wasn't interested in the information. But there was something impossibly endearing about Linden's casual, knowledgeable delivery that Johanna greatly enjoyed.
"But you're such a good fighter!" Johanna insisted.
Linden tilted her head, slightly exasperated, and reminded Johanna, "You've seen me push one girl, once!"
"Yeah, but you don't get kicked out of school for fighting if you aren't good at it," Johanna reasoned, playfully.
Linden grinned back at her, with reddening cheeks.
"Are you trying to convince me to volunteer?" she deflected, teasingly.
"No!" Johanna answered, quickly. "Don't even joke about that. Not today."
"But if you think I'm gonna win…" Linden ignored Johanna's warning, and began playfully poking her in the ribs.
"Fine," Johanna sighed, sarcastically. She batted Linden's hand away, then continued, "I take it back. You wouldn't win. One of the older kids would squish you like a bug. You wouldn't last a day…"
"Hey!" Linden snapped, playfully. She bumped her shoulder into Johanna's, though not hard enough to draw the attention of any peacekeepers. "I'd last a day ! A few days, probably. You wouldn't."
Although Linden's tone was joking and friendly, Johanna shrank in on herself as soon as she heard the words.
"Yeah, I know," Johanna admitted.
"No, I… Shit. I'm sorry. I didn't mean…" Linden realised she had overstepped, and quickly tried to make up for it. "It's not gonna be you, anyway, Mason. There are a hundred thousand pieces of paper in there, and our names are only in three times."
It took Johanna a moment to realise that Linden didn't have to sign up for tesserae. Linden seemed to make the same realisation at the same time.
"Twelve times for me," Johanna corrected.
"Twelve?" Linden repeated in sympathetic disbelief.
"Yeah," Johanna confirmed, feeling uncomfortable at Linden's sympathy. "But nearly everyone signs up for tesserae," Johanna explained. "It's not a big deal."
After an awkward moment of silence, Linden found a way to move the conversation on.
"So, doing the math… tesserae for the five of you… this is only your second reaping?" She asked.
"Yeah," Johanna confirmed. "I'm pretty much the youngest kid in our class."
"Oh, that's good!" Linden insisted, trying to bring the mood back up. "More victors are born in summer than any other time of year. It's because they're a few months older than the rest of the tributes in their age category."
Despite the recent uncomfortable turns in the conversation, another smile began to creep onto Johanna's face. Another casual Hunger Games fact, from Johanna's favourite expert.
"You know," Johanna said, letting a hint of mischief creep into her voice, "if you keep saying facts like that," she raised herself onto her tiptoes and whispered into Linden's ear, "People are gonna figure out your secret!"
Linden giggled, then argued back, "Nah, they're just gonna think I'm a dork."
"Oh, they already think that," Johanna teased, sweetly.
Linden was quick to shoot back, "Yeah - because I'm friends with you!"
Johanna laughed, blushed and playfully pushed Linden's shoulder. Linden, so much stronger than Johanna, barely moved.
"Is that all you've got, Mason?" she goaded.
"Just wait 'til we're not surrounded by peacekeepers," Johanna joked back.
Johanna was under no illusions that she'd stand a chance in a fight: Linden was both bigger and more skilled. They both paused for a second, until Linden was sure that Johanna was joking. Then, they both laughed.
Their laughter brought glares from the nervous children around them, and they quickly hushed themselves. Not everyone used dark humour as a way to cope with the reaping.
"That's given me an idea," said Linden.
Johanna looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to finish the thought.
"Do you wanna learn to fight?"
Johanna hesitated. She had always been one of the smallest children in her class: it hadn't made much sense to even try fighting back.
"Or, like, self-defence, at least?" Linden continued.
Johanna wasn't sure how to take the suggestion. On the one hand, the implication that she needed to toughen up - even though she knew it was probably true - stung a little. On the other hand, the edge of nervousness in Linden's voice took most of the sting out of it.
"Uh, I don't know," Johanna hedged, still deciding. "Maybe?"
"You kinda need it, Mason," Linden tried again, hiding her own awkwardness with a kind, teasing smile.
"Hey!" Johanna playfully defended, earning another smile from Linden.
"Also, uh…" Linden hesitated, suddenly awkward again, "I get really bored after school here. At my old school, I got to hang out with my friends all night. Here, it's just me and my uncles. So, uh, I just thought… maybe we could… hang out. And I could teach you some stuff, if you want?"
Johanna's heart swelled. She didn't really care about learning to fight. But she did care about getting to spend more time with Linden. In the five days they'd known each other, Johanna had missed Linden in the classes they didn't share. She had felt sad when they'd said goodbye, and had looked forward to seeing her again every morning. Some self-defence skills would undeniably be useful, but Johanna would have agreed to just about anything to get to spend some evenings with Linden.
Hanging out with a friend after school would also please Johanna's mother. Since her first year of middle school, Johanna had received frequent, gentle reminders from her parents that she was allowed to stay out with friends after school, as long as she was back in time for dinner. Johanna would always insist that she preferred to come straight home, to cook with her mother and play with her little brothers. Johanna's mom would pretend to believe her, but her concerned expression was becoming increasingly hard to ignore. Johanna hated making her family worried.
"Are you sure?" Johanna asked, full of hope.
"Yeah!" Linden's response was even more enthusiastic than Johanna's.
"That would be amazing," Johanna grinned.
Chapter 5: The 68th Reaping
Chapter Text
As the same old history film played, Johanna surveyed the square in a series of brief glances. Everyone at the reaping was supposed to watch the film; if Johanna was caught turning around for more than a second or two, she would get into trouble. But in the large crowd of children, Johanna was relatively confident that the peacekeepers wouldn't notice someone as ordinary as her. Still, she periodically returned her eyes to the screen, just in case, as she attempted to ease her anxiety by examining her surroundings.
There were, of course, countless rows of restless girls around her. She only recognised a few of them from her own school - most of whom were from the year below. The vast majority of the girls from her class were standing in the section behind, having already turned fourteen.
She tried to see the boys, but found she couldn't. This year, she was standing just a few rows in from the edge of the square. Next year, she would have to try to make sure she could see the front section of boys, where Justin would be standing.
When she glanced over her shoulder, Johanna realised she couldn't see an end to the rows of older teenage girls behind her, either - just the looming roofs of government buildings, glaring intimidatingly down at the district's nervous children.
Johanna idly wondered how many children must be in the square today. Then, without consciously making the decision, she found herself doing the math. In her town, there were over two hundred students in the middle school, and over three hundred in the high school. And her town was supposedly small. If the other towns also had around 500-600 reaping-aged children, then there were at least two and a half thousand children in the square today. But given that most of the other towns were bigger than Weston, there could easily be three thousand or more. And then there were all the village children to consider, too. Four thousand, perhaps? No wonder Johanna couldn't see the back row.
Just before the video came to an end, Johanna heard the shuffling of feet and rustling of movement behind her. She quickly snapped her wandering eyes back to the screen, afraid that the light commotion would draw the attention of peacekeepers to her section.
The commotion was intriguing, though. It was common for children to cry, or even faint from the heat and anxiety. Looking at whatever had happened behind her would probably make Johanna feel more nervous about the reaping. On the other hand, not looking was making her feel nervous about what may have happened, too.
She gritted her teeth and kept her eyes on the fading screen, resisting the temptation to get a glimpse of whatever was still causing quite shuffling sounds behind her.
She almost jumped out of her skin when she felt a gentle tap on her shoulder.
She ignored it, too.
The escort was talking into the microphone in their silly capitol accent now, meaning the selection of the girl's name was mere seconds away.
Johanna ignored another tap on her shoulder. She didn't want to deal with whatever torment Olivia wanted to add to the scariest moment of the whole year. She shuffled forwards, hoping to put herself out of reach of the hand.
"Mason!" a hissing whisper cut through the crowd.
Johanna paused. Olivia didn't call her by her last name. In fact, the only girl who had ever done that was Linden. Johanna quickly turned her head to confirm: Linden had snaked through the crowd and was standing just two rows behind her, pushing slightly at the rope that separated the thirteen and fourteen year olds.
Johanna shot her friend a quick, tense smile of acknowledgement, then returned her attention to the stage. A moment later, Linden's hand found Johanna's shoulder again, and gave a tug on the strap of Johanna's dress. Johanna finally understood: Linden wanted Johanna to move backwards, towards the rope that separated the sections. Towards her friend.
The children weren't supposed to move around inside the reaping pens. But in reality, whenever siblings and friends found each other and wanted to be together, the crowd would subtly part to let them find their way towards comfort.
The girls around Johanna shuffled aside, making just enough space for Johanna's small frame to melt back through the crowd, towards Linden.
The crowd of girls held their breaths in unison as Linden's hand found Johanna's, and the escort's hand dipped into the bowl of folded papers. Adrenaline coursed through Johanna's body, and she could hear her heartbeat in her ears. By the time the escort spoke, Johanna could only muster enough concentration to register that the name was unfamiliar.
She was weak with relief.
As the usual murmuring of relief and inquisitiveness made its way through the crowd, Johanna and Linden dropped their grip on each other's hands. The cameras soon found the tribute in the crowd. A pale girl, visibly shaking, began to slowly walk towards the central aisle. By the time the girl reached the stage, the crowd was silent again.
Most of the girls had calmed down by the time the escort finished the brief interview with the tearful tribute, relieved to be safe for another year. But Linden was still tense. As attention turned to the bowl of boys' names, Linden grabbed Johanna's hand again. Initially, Johanna didn't understand why. Then, almost too late, she remembered Linden's younger brother.
"He'll be fine," Johanna whispered, as the escort's gloved hand descended into the bowl.
And he was.
A boy who barely looked older than ten burst into tears, and cried uncontrollably as four peacekeepers practically carried him to the stage. Once again, the rest of the crowd remained silent in their horror.
Johanna didn't recognise either of the tributes. In fact, she never had: she was only three years old the last time anyone from Weston had been reaped, and her parents had completely shielded her from The Hunger Games until she had begun school.
In her relief, Johanna turned to Linden. She was surprised to see tears welling in the other girl's eyes.
"Do you know him?" Johanna whispered, suddenly worried for her friend.
Linden shook her head in response, and quickly wiped away her unshed tears. Both girls returned their attention to the stage for the final minute of the ceremony, where they watched both tributes cry throughout the closing remarks. Johanna wasn't really focusing on the ceremony, though. She was busy considering what Linden had said earlier about tributes crying and making themselves memorable. Neither of these children, snivelling and shaking on the stage, looked like victors.
As soon as the tributes were led away, the sound of relieved chatter welled throughout the crowd, drowning out the distant sadness of friends and relatives of the new tributes. Children began to move around to find their loved ones, and Johanna turned back to Linden, who was busy drying her eyes again.
"Are you okay?" Johanna asked, unsettled by Linden's unexpected tears.
"Yeah - just relieved," Linden assured her.
Johanna could understand the relief, but considering that Linden's name was in the bowl so few times compared to everyone else's, she couldn't help feeling a little incredulous about it.
Apparently Johanna's emotions must have shown in her expression. There was a glimmer of frustration in Linden's eyes as they quickly darted around the crowd. Then, deciding that the hum of the crowd around them offered sufficient privacy, Linden began to explain herself.
"Did you know ten victors' children have been reaped?" her exasperation was the only thing forcing her voice above a whisper.
Johanna raised her eyebrows in surprise. She wasn't sure of the odds, but ten sounded like a lot. Linden seemed to soften and relax slightly, and Johanna was grateful for it.
"I mean, if you exclude the volunteers, then it's only six. But still, the odds of even one victor's child being picked…"
Linden was speaking carefully now, more mindful of the crowd around them. Johanna was fairly sure she understood the unspoken meaning of Linden's words, but waited for further clarification.
"We don't need tesserae, so our names aren't entered as many times as the average kid. That means that six is… unbelievably bad luck."
The implication was clear: the reaping of six victors' children was more than just bad luck. Linden was telling Johanna that the reapings were sometimes rigged - rigged so that victors' children were selected. In that case, the odds weren't really in Linden's family's favour at all. Johanna looked up at her friend with a sympathetic expression, silently communicating that she now understood why Linden had been so worried, despite the fact that her name was only entered three times.
"Three of the six were selected in their first year," Linden continued, her voice shaking slightly with the effort of holding back more tears.
Now that Linden mentioned it, Johanna had vague memories of a twelve year old victor's child featuring in the first games she could remember. Linden must have been worried sick for Asher.
"Oh, Linden," Johanna soothed, pulling her upset friend into a hug. "It's okay, he's safe. It's over."
Linden hugged her back, taking another shaky breath.
"Not really," she countered, her voice hitching with the effort of trying not to cry. "Not for another six years." Then, after a short pause, she optimistically added, "Willow is safe, though!"
Less upset now that she was focusing on the positive side, Linden pulled away from the hug.
Johanna followed suit, keen to do anything to make Linden less upset. "I didn't know she's eighteen! Are you celebrating tonight?"
"Not really, no. Mom's obviously working ," she said, darting her eyes towards the stage as if Johanna needed reminding who Linden's mother was, "And Willow and Asher have to travel back to school tomorrow. But we'll celebrate properly when we're all back together."
"That sounds nice," Johanna smiled.
Her smile was half empty, though. Once again, Johanna found herself thinking just how grateful she was for her kind, loving family who were always there for her. She was already looking forward to their hugs of relief and comfort after the difficult day they'd all had. The idea of her parents working away for weeks after the reaping was horrible.
Before the conversation had the chance to move on, Johanna was distracted by the sight of a girl who looked almost exactly like Linden approaching.
"Is that your sister?" she asked, nodding towards the girl.
"Yeah!" Linden answered, before calling out, "Willow!"
The sisters hurried final few steps towards each other, and Linden was quickly swept up into a tight but brief hug.
"Let's find Asher and get out of here," Willow declared, wasting no time.
Linden quickly turned back to Johanna, calling out a friendly, "See you at school!" before following her sister towards the boys' section.
Johanna watched Linden and Willow hurrying away until she lost sight of them in the crowd. It took her a moment to realise that she shouldn't be standing here, alone, in the square. She should be making her way to the gate, towards her parents and brothers, who were waiting to hold her, share in her relief, and take her home. She shook herself and hurried over to the nearest exit, joining the queue of children impatient to leave the square.
Chapter 6: Decennium
Chapter Text
The train ride back to Weston was just as long and crowded as the journey to the reaping. The atmosphere, however, couldn't have been more different. The carriages were filled with chatter and laughter reflecting the communal relief that, once again, the town's children were safe from the Hunger Games.
Johanna and her eldest brother, Justin, shared a threadbare window seat next to their father, Arthur, who held their youngest brother, Jay, on his lap. Her mother, Juniper, stood in the aisle next to them, holding onto a handle above the seats for stability. If she had wanted to, Johanna would have been able to reach out and touch every member of her family, without leaving her seat. The close proximity made her feel safe.
"Mason!" the man in front of them turned to address Johanna's dad, "Did you hear that?"
"Hear what?" he asked.
"Decennium tonight," the man said, with an excited smile. "Are you coming?"
Johanna's dad looked up to her mom, questioningly. She smiled back down at him, then they both gave a nod to the man in front. He cheered, before turning back to his family.
"What's decennium?" Jay asked.
"Let's work it out," Arthur replied, brightly. "In math, what does 'dec' mean?"
"Ten!" Jay answered quickly, before his siblings could steal his thunder.
"Is he right?" Johanna's dad asked the older children, who both agreed.
"And ennium… does any one have any ideas?"
After a few wildly incorrect guesses from the children and a lot of laughter from all the family, Juniper gave her children a clue.
"It comes from the same word as 'annual'."
"Ten years!" Justin said, excitedly.
"It's been ten years since anyone from Weston was reaped," Johanna added.
"Exactly," Juniper confirmed, with a proud smile, "You make a good team!"
"And when we've had ten years with no reapings from Weston," Arthur added, "We have a party, called a Decennium."
"The last one was the year of my last reaping," Johanna's mom said, wistfully.
Johanna's parents caught each others' eyes for a moment. They shared a smile that Johanna couldn't quite decipher. She could tell that they had definitely enjoyed the last Decennium, though.
The family spent the rest of the journey chatting and playing games to pass the time. Dusk was beginning to fall when the train finally pulled into Weston's station. A small crowd of people had gathered on the platform, forming a sort of welcome committee. The reaping participants and their families disembarked the train to a joyous round of applause, and murmurings about how the party could now begin.
The vast majority of the train's passengers headed straight for the woods. The Mason family joined them. As they walked, a song started up in the crowd. Johanna and her parents helped her brothers to learn the words. Before the song had even finished, Johanna could see three bonfires up ahead. She kept her gaze on the flickering lights the whole way to the party.
The woods were humming with activity. It seemed that almost every Westonian who hadn't travelled to the reaping had been preparing for the rest of the town to return. The councillors, along with a few of the other wealthier people in the town, had all chipped in to provide food for everyone at the party. The council leader himself - whose children were all in their twenties - stood at a large grill, flipping meat-and-bean patties that he served in baker's bread buns. Other townspeople had brought a variety of dishes to share: mostly salads of their gardens' first harvests, and grain dishes. Johanna's mouth was watering as she waited in line to collect a plate.
After the food, the council leader gave a short speech about how lucky the town was to be able to celebrate a full decade without any of their children being reaped. The crowd echoed his wish for many more decades of safety, and then were taken by surprise when he made another announcement: the council was providing sweets for every child at the party.
Although both of the town's bakers sold various cakes, sweets were a true rarity for the vast majority in Weston. The council leader directed the crowd's attention to various council members who each held up a jar of brightly-coloured, paper-wrapped lollipops.There were gasps as the children and their parents took in the sight.
The speech concluded with an invitation for the children to collect a lollipop from their nearest councilperson. Moments later, a band began to play as Johanna and her brothers reached the front of the short queue for their sweets. Johanna reminded Jay and Justin to thank the councilperson as they received their lollipops. Then, the three of them began to race back over to their parents. As desperate as they were to try the sweets, they also wanted their mom and dad to see the pretty paper wrappers first.
As she ran behind her brothers, Johanna looked out across the nearest fire pit. The orange glow bounced off the happy, familiar faces of neighbours, business owners, and classmates - including Linden.
Johanna hadn't thought that her friend might be in Weston tonight, but there she was, her laughing expression illuminated by firelight.
Then, suddenly, Johanna wasn't looking out across the fire. She was looking at the ground, which seemed to be rushing up to meet her. It wasn't sensible to run through the woods without keeping an eye on the uneven ground, and she was paying the price. A protruding tree root had caught her toes, and Johanna was falling. Absurdly, her first thought was for the precious lollipop in her grasp. She held it out to protect it as she crashed into Justin on her way to the floor.
"Hey!" he chided, before realising that his sister was sprawled out in the dirt.
Justin immediately stopped running, called out to Jay to come back, and rushed to Johanna's side.
"Are you okay, Jo?" Justin asked.
"I'm fine," Johanna insisted as her brothers knelt next to her.
"Are you sure?" Justin checked.
"Yeah," Johanna insisted, reaching out for her brothers and letting them help her up.
She dusted herself off, then twisted her arm around to get a look at her stinging elbow. It was grazed and dirty, but it didn't hurt too much. She probably would have avoided any injury at all, if she hadn't focussed on keeping hold of her lollipop as she fell.
"Your arm!" Justin gasped at the sight of the graze, which was starting to seep a small trickle of blood.
"Wow!" Jay added, stepping round to get a look.
"It doesn't hurt," Johanna assured them both.
"We should clean it up, though."
Linden's voice suddenly appeared behind them. Johanna snapped her head around towards the sound. Even in the dark, she immediately spotted her friend approaching through the trees.
"You don't want that getting infected," Linden continued, calmly but authoritatively.
Johanna could feel her face burning with embarrassment. She didn't want Linden to know that she had just fallen over. Even worse, had Linden seen her fall? She was supposed to start learning to fight on Monday! How could she do that, if she couldn't even run? She hoped the darkness was covering her blushed cheeks.
"Who are you?" Justin demanded, sounding suspicious of Linden and pretending to be braver than he was.
A few months ago, Johanna had started to wonder whether Justin - who was still in his final year at the elementary school - had heard anything about how Johanna was treated at school. She added his suspicious tone to her mounting pile of evidence that he knew she was bullied.
"This is my friend Linden," Johanna introduced them.
At the sound of the familiar name, Justin visibly relaxed.
"Linden, these are my brothers: Justin and Jay."
"Nice to meet you," Linden greeted the boys.
She offered Justin a handshake, just as she had to Johanna a few days ago. Johanna stifled a giggle as Justin narrowed his eyes at Linden's hand before tentatively shaking it. Jay's shake seemed much more natural and confident when his turn came.
"Come on," Linden said to Johanna, "My uncle Harry is a healer-"
"No, it's fine," Johanna insisted. "And anyway, we need to get back to my Mom and Dad."
"Okay," Linden agreed, seamlessly joining Johanna and her brothers. "Let's go to your parents first, and then I'll take you to Harry."
Johanna sighed, but didn't argue again. She already knew that Linden could be stubborn. And she also knew that she was right: the wound did need to be cleaned.
The children walked the rest of the way back to Johanna's parents, letting Jay run the last few metres alone.
"Look, Mom!" Jay called out, excitedly holding up his lollipop.
Arthur and Juniper turned to look at their son, sharing in his excitement for a moment. Then, as soon as he was close enough to be heard, Justin spoke, too.
"Johanna fell over," he said.
Johanna scowled at him for telling, but he wouldn't have been able to see it in the dark. Her heart wasn't in it, anyway: her parents would have noticed her muddy dress and grazed elbow soon enough.
Both of Johanna's parents immediately sprang up from their seats and began to ask whether she was okay, and how it had happened. Johanna assured them she was fine, that she just tripped over. When they asked her to hold out her arm so that they could see it by the light of the fire, she agreed.
"We should take you home, get you cleaned up," her dad said, grimacing at the sight of the dusty wound.
"No!" Johanna protested, quickly. "I want to stay! Linden said her uncle can help."
Johanna looked over at Linden, and her parents seemed to notice the other girl for the first time.
"Linden! We've heard a lot about you," Juniper beamed, pleased to meet her daughter's new friend.
"It's nice to meet you," Arthur added, equally happy.
"It's nice to meet you, too," Linden politely replied.
Once they were introduced, Johanna's parents quickly returned to concerned parent mode.
"Who is your uncle, Linden?" Juniper asked.
"His name is Harry. He's a healer."
In a town as small as Weston, most names were somewhat recognisable to everyone. But the only healers the Masons knew were Vera, who had been working since before they were born, and Vera's apprentice.
"He's always got some bandages and things in his bag, in case one of us gets hurt," Linden continued, unaware of the subtle hesitance Johanna's parents shared, "It would be no trouble for him to take a look at Johanna's arm."
"Can I go to Harry?" Johanna asked her parents, desperate to be allowed to stay at the party.
They exchanged a glance, silently communicating their decision with well-practised efficiency.
"Okay," Arthur agreed, handing his cup to his wife, "But I'll come with you."
It was only a short walk, with time for barely any smalltalk, before they were close to Linden's family.
"Harry?" Linden called out to her uncle. "My friend Johanna hurt her arm."
"Oh, sweetie," Harry gushed, rapidly getting up from the tree stump he had been sitting on. "Come here, let's take a look at you…"
Harry asked Johanna and her father to follow him closer to the fire, explaining that he needed to use the light to see. As they walked, he also asked Linden to fetch his bag from under a bench. He then introduced himself, and assured Johanna's father that there would be no payment required: he was just helping out his niece's friend.
Johanna's father thanked Harry. His suspicion of the man he inexplicably didn't know was quickly draining away as Harry calmly and expertly took care of the situation.
By the fire, Harry told Johanna to sit on a log. Then, he knelt next to her and gently took hold of her arm.
"You're being very brave," he commented as he examined her grazed elbow.
"It's just a scrape," Johanna told him.
"But those can be very painful!" Harry insisted.
Linden returned with the bag, unfastened it, and handed it to her uncle.
"So, Johanna, I'm going to clean this up for you, and then put a bandage on it just to make sure it stays clean tonight," Harry explained as he rifled through his bag to find supplies.
"That's very good of you, thank you," Arthur said, gratefully.
Harry brushed off the thanks, then warned Johanna, "This will sting for a second, sweetie - you might want to hold your dad's hand."
Johanna's dad took her hand before she had even had a chance to process Harry's words.
"Three, two -"
Harry poured the cleaning solution over Johanna's elbow before he finished the countdown. Johanna let out a short hiss at the pain, but held her arm still as Harry carefully washed the dirt away from the wound.
"I'm sorry, sweetie, it won't hurt for long. You're doing very well! That's it, just keep your arm nice and still."
Harry provided a slow, gentle commentary as he worked, until he finally announced, "All done!"
Johanna took a proper look at the angry-looking red graze on her elbow while Harry searched for a dressing.
"Ouch!" Linden commented, with a grimace.
"It doesn't hurt," Johanna lied.
Now that her shock and embarrassment had worn off, Johanna could feel a throbbing sensation in her elbow that she instinctively knew would last for a while.
When her wound was dressed, Harry happily declared Johanna "fit to party!". Johanna and her father both thanked him, and he graciously told them it was nothing. Just as they were about to leave, Johanna's dad paused.
"Do you wanna spend some time with your friend?" he offered.
Johanna hesitated. She had been in a near-constant state of wanting to spend time with Linden since the moment they had met. But the evening after the reaping was supposed to be for family. She glanced over at Linden, who was trying to get Asher to dance with her.
"Johanna," he said, gently, "It's okay to say yes. We're out here tonight to celebrate - to have fun. You're allowed to go and have some fun with your friend, as well as with your family."
A smile crept over Johanna's face, and her dad chuckled in response.
"You have until the band takes a break: when they stop playing, come back to the bench."
Johanna agreed, excitedly. Her dad leaned down, kissed her on the head, then sent her off to dance with Linden.
The girls danced together by firelight, holding each other's hands, twirling and laughing. When the band stopped playing, signifying that her time with Linden was over, Johanna felt tears of disappointment prickling at her eyes. But she managed to force the feeling down and simply hugged her friend tightly before saying goodnight and running back to her family.
Chapter 7: Training
Chapter Text
On Johanna's suggestion, after the school bell, she and Linden headed for the east woods. The trees lining the shortcut offered plenty of shade on the hot summer's day. The girls were expecting to have the place mostly to themselves - the other children tended to hang out in the woods on the other side of the school, closer to the high school.
"You've gotta promise to go slow, okay? I don't know the first thing about fighting," Johanna reminded Linden for the third time. As much as she was looking forward to spending time with Linden, she was nervous about what the self defence lesson might include.
"I promise," Linden replied, rolling her eyes as a dramatic but kind reminder to Johanna that she had already promised it twice. Her tone then changed as she added, "But you do know the first thing."
"What do you mean?" Johanna asked, confused.
"The best defence is to avoid an attack all together," Linden explained. "That's the first thing you need to learn. You said you used to hide in trees at lunchtime, right?"
"Yeah…" Johanna confirmed, awaiting further explanation.
"Well, that's the most important defence skill."
"How to hide in trees?" Johanna scoffed, sarcastically.
"Well, to hide anywhere. Or to run to safety," Linden replied, earnestly. "You have to try to stay calm, and make sensible choices. There's no point running into a different type of danger, you know? It's just as important to use your mind as it is to use your body. The wrestling coach at my old school used to say 'work smarter, not harder'."
Throughout Linden's short speech, Johanna's scepticism had faded. She was even nodding along by the end. The longer she considered Linden's words, the more sense they made. It gave her some confidence, too. Although she was one of the smaller, weaker children in her class, Johanna wasn't bad at running or climbing. Plus, she was definitely one of the smartest children in the school.
"So, is that what we're gonna be doing today? Climbing trees and running?" Johanna asked, not really expecting Linden to agree.
"Yeah, sure," Linden teased, more sarcastic than Johanna had been earlier, "I'm gonna teach someone who actually lives in Seven how to climb trees."
The realisation dawned upon Johanna that the Cooper children, living at their fancy capitol school with wrestling coaches and dessert, probably didn't play in the same way as most District Seven children. Until that moment, Johanna hadn't considered before that she might have any useful Hunger Games skills Linden didn't.
"Well," Johanna said, smiling, "Maybe I can teach you something, too."
Linden eagerly nodded, genuinely keen to improve her tree climbing skills. "Yes, please!"
"Deal," Johanna agreed, happy to be able to trade something other than her company in return for Linden's training.
The girls soon lost track of their time in the woods, laughing and learning. Linden showed Johanna how to anticipate some basic attacks, and a few simple ways to avoid them. In return, Johanna showed Linden how to tell if a branch was sturdy enough to climb, and described two ways she could tell that a particular branch was half-rotten.
When Linden gasped at the time and showed Johanna her watch, Johanna grew panicked that she wouldn't make it home in time for dinner. As they quickly grabbed their bags, Linden joked that Johanna had been right earlier; they really had spent the session climbing trees, and now they were about to run. The girls kept a fast but steady pace together until the point their routes home diverged. Then, they shared a brief hug goodbye, before Johanna raced the rest of the way home.
Jay was busy placing cutlery on the table when Johanna arrived home, sweaty, covered in dust and scrapes, and beaming ear to ear.
The next morning, Johanna's body ached. She wasn't going to let it stop her from spending another evening in the woods with Linden, though. She didn't mention the stiffness in her limbs to Linden, afraid of somehow being wrong or weak. But when the girls arrived in the woods, they spent a good few minutes stretching, which significantly eased the dull pain Johanna had been feeling all day. Once again, they climbed and practised a simple way to escape from an attacker's hold. They also managed to pay better attention to the time, but planned to jog home anyway - both as a way to get a few extra minutes in the woods, and as good exercise.
The day after, and the day after that, Johanna ached even more when she awoke. She practiced the new stretches in the morning, which helped for a while, but the aches settled back in after sitting down at school. It didn't stop her from training in the woods, though. Linden, who had apparently been able to tell Johanna was hurting just from the way she moved, assured her it was all part of getting stronger. Contrary to her initial expectations, Johanna found herself looking forward to gaining some strength. By Friday, the ache had mostly worn off - which was useful given that Johanna had to race the whole way home again.
After a weekend of rest and stretching, Johanna couldn't wait to get back to the woods. Aside from spending time with her new best friend, she was enjoying the self-defence lessons much more than she had expected. She was already feeling more capable and confident after just a few hours of training, and she was excited to see how she might feel after months or even years of training.
Before she was able to go to the woods, though, she had to get through the school day.
The first school day of the Hunger Games was always a bit strange. Mostly it was just the same old school day tinged with an odd atmosphere that Johanna couldn't put her finger on. However, their lunch break did change. The students had to eat inside for the duration of The Games, cramming themselves into the small school hall where the mandatory lunchtime highlights show played.
The mandatory aspect of the lunchtime screening had never been strictly enforced at Weston Middle School: as long as the children remained in the hall where the show was projected onto two large screens, they were free to talk quitely and play, rather than properly watching.
In previous years, Johanna had usually read books to distract herself from the horrors on screen. But this year, with Linden keen to take in every detail, Johanna watched the show for the first time. Linden excitedly guided Johanna through each episode, giving detailed explanations of strategy and combat, peppered with statistics, trivia, and behind-the-scenes information. Johanna wasn't exactly interested in the show - not like Linden was, anyway. But now that she was properly paying attention to it for the first time, she found that it wasn't as bad as she'd previously thought it to be. She also found she was interested in listening to every word Linden had to say. As such, she found herself asking more and more questions each day. By the end of the first week of the 68th Hunger Games, she had learned more about The Games than any of her school subjects.
Each day, the girls would pick a move they'd seen in the highlights show - usually something that was replayed, so Johanna could study it a little. Then, after school, in the woods, Linden taught Johanna how to perform it. Her week of training before watching The Games at school had set her up well, and she generally picked the moves up fairly quickly. Before long, Johanna could perform and defend a range of attacks - even when Linden was putting all her strength into it. Of course, in a real situation, the attacker wouldn't only be using one move; Linden knew a hundred other ways to attack after a successful defence, which she promised to reach Johanna one day. But still, even having this handful of new skills made Johanna feel powerful.
Chapter 8: Birthday
Chapter Text
After the fourth time Johanna arrived home from the woods panting and sweaty, with barely a minute to spare before dinner, Johanna's parents suggested she should invite her new friend over for her upcoming birthday.
Johanna resisted at first, feeling self-conscious at the prospect of bringing Linden home.
The Masons weren't poor, exactly - Johanna's family led a very average lifestyle for their town. They weren't too hungry, but they relied on Johanna's - and soon, Justin's - tesserae to stay that way. They could afford medicine when they needed it, but their clothes and toys were always home-made or second-hand. Their house was slightly small for five people, but comfortable enough.
Linden, however, had lived half her life in the capitol. Johanna was intensely nervous about what her friend might think of her home.
Eventually, though, Johanna gave in to her parents' insistence that she should spend her birthday with her friend. She invited Linden over to celebrate her birthday on Sunday afternoon. Linden was delighted by the invitation, and eagerly accepted. Her reaction flooded Johanna with a conflicting sense of relief and renewed nervousness. Still, she was grateful to her parents for the idea, and overall was looking forward to celebrating her birthday.
"Happy birthday!" Linden and Harry simultaneously greeted Johanna as she opened the door.
Johanna went to reply, but found that she couldn't speak. Her mind had been completely overtaken by the simple fact that Linden was the most beautiful person she had ever seen.
Linden was wearing a blue and white checked summer dress that was clearly kept for special occasions: Johanna hadn't seen Linden wear anything like this to school. It was the first time that Johanna had ever seen Linden wearing her hair down, too. It fell in waves long past her shoulders, glimmering slightly red in the sunlight. As Linden held out a brightly coloured cardboard box, Johanna traced her eyes down Linden's arms, marvelling at how they looked simultaneously delicate and strong.
"Linden!" Johanna's mom greeted from the hall. "How lovely to see you again! Come in!"
Realising that she had practically frozen, Johanna managed to squeak out a, "Hi," as she stepped aside to let Linden into the house.
Johanna wasn't sure how long she had been standing silently in the doorway. Too long, probably, given that her mom had decided to intervene. And she hadn't even thanked Linden and Harry for wishing her a happy birthday! She could feel her cheeks burning with embarrassment.
"Thanks," Johanna mumbled, shyly nodding towards both Linden and Harry.
"I'll pick you up at eight, Linden," said Harry, looking at Juniper for confirmation more than at Linden.
"Eight is perfect," Johanna's mom confirmed with a warm smile. "Are you Linden's uncle Harry?"
"Yes, Harry Cooper," Harry introduced himself and stepped forward to shake Juniper's hand. "It's nice to meet you…?" He left the question hanging.
Johanna caught her mom's brief reaction to the name Cooper. It was a relatively common surname in the district, but there was still a note of intrigue in her mom's eyes as they flicked back to Linden for a fraction of a second, before returning to Harry.
"Juniper - or June," said Johanna's mom, returning the handshake. "Thank you again for cleaning up Johanna's arm at the Decennium."
"Don't mention it," Harry replied, with a kind smile.
"I was hoping to get to meet you. Do you work as a healer?" Juniper continued, turning the conversation towards business that the girls had no interest in.
"This is for you," Linden said, slightly awkward as she presented Johanna with the box she was carrying.
Johanna was almost trembling with excitement, anxiety and too many other emotions to name.
"Thank you!" she managed to squeeze the words out through her tight throat, and accepted the gift.
"It's a bit delicate - don't shake it!" Linden warned, still sounding slightly shy.
"I'll be careful," Johanna promised, gently lifting the box to get a good look.
"Have fun, kids!" Harry called, waving goodbye to Linden as he began to walk away.
"Bye!" Linden waved back to her uncle.
"Well, don't stand about in the hallway," Johanna's mom told the girls as she re-entered the house, "Go on through!"
The largest downstairs room had been decorated with colourful paper banners and streamers, in honour of Johanna's birthday. Linden stared around at them all in wonder.
"These are beautiful!" she gasped.
"Dad got a bag of paper scraps," Johanna explained. "And we got lucky with all the colours."
"I made this one," Jay confidently interrupted, reaching up so that he was just able to reach the largest, messiest decoration in the room.
"Really?" Linden asked, humouring the younger child. "I was just about to say: that one is my favourite!"
Jay beamed with pride, and began to point out the other decorations that he had made himself. Johanna grinned at Linden, who grinned back at her.
"Who's your friend, Johanna?" Johanna's grandmother asked from the armchair, unable to reign in her curiosity.
"This is my friend, Linden, Granny," Johanna replied, leading Linden towards her grandmother.
"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Mason," Linden said, and offered her hand to the elderly woman.
"Oh, aren't you polite?" Johanna's grandmother beamed as she shook Linden's hand. "But I'm not a Mason - I'm Johanna's mom's mom. You can call me Mary - or Granny."
Linden's eyes grew wide, and an excited and hopeful smile crept onto her face.
"Granny? Are you sure?" she asked.
"Oh, look how excited she is!" Mary exclaimed, overjoyed at Linden's reaction. "Yes, of course! In fact, I insist!"
"Thank you, Granny!" Linden grinned.
"What do you call your grandparents?" Granny asked.
"I don't have any," Linden explained, "They died before I was born."
"Oh, I'm sorry love," Granny said.
"All of them?" Johanna asked, surprised.
Three of her grandparents had been alive when she was born. Only their Granny was still with them, but Johanna and even Justin had a few memories of her dad's parents.
"Well, I don't have a dad," said Linden, "And yeah, Mom's parents died when she was nineteen."
"Oh gosh, that must have been so difficult for your mother, raising you all alone," said Granny.
"My uncles help out a lot - they're pretty much like dads to us," Linden explained, with a casual shrug.
"Ah, yes, Johanna told us that's why you moved to Weston - to live with your uncles?" Johanna's mother prompted.
"Yeah. My mom has to travel a lot for work, so it makes more sense for me to live here, with Harry and Marcus."
"How long ago did you move here?" Mary continued getting to know her granddaughter's new friend.
"Nearly a month," Linden replied, politely.
"And how do you like Weston so far?" Mary asked.
"It's lovely!" Linden replied, "The woods next to the schools are my favourite."
"Ah, is that why you've been spending so much time there recently, Johanna?" Granny asked, making Johanna blush.
"Granny!" Johanna complained, her blush deepening.
"We go there a lot after school," Linden answered, continuing her side of the polite conversation with Granny.
"Well, it's nice to see Johanna with a friend, for once," Granny told Linden.
"Mom!" Johanna's mother chastised.
"I wasn't being rude," Johanna's grandmother insisted, raising her hands in a display of innocence.
"So, Johanna," Arthur decided to step in to prevent the burgeoning argument, "What would you like to do first: gifts, or games?"
"Um," Johanna's mother interrupted and gave her husband a pointed look, "We need to do gifts first, this year."
"Oh," Arthur exclaimed, bringing his hand to his face as he remembered, "You're right! Gifts first! Jay," he beckoned to his youngest son, who was busy trying to jump up to reach some of the taller decorations, "Come and sit down."
When everyone had gathered around, Johanna started opening her gifts, beginning with the box from Linden. As she opened the lid, she was hit by a delicious, sweet smell. She removed a layer of tissue paper to reveal two neat rows of delicately iced cookies, each shaped like a letter, spelling out the phrase, 'happy birthday'.
Johanna gasped, then threw her arms around Linden in a hug. When she pulled away, she held out the box for her family to see.
Jay's eyes grew wide at the sight of the cookies, and he desperately asked, "Can I have one please?"
There had been no doubt in her mind that Johanna would share the cookies with her family. Her mom knew it, too, and stepped in before Johanna could answer her brother's question.
"No-one is having any until after dinner," Juniper declared.
"Those are beautiful!" Granny observed, as she gazed into the box.
"Thanks," Linden replied, with a gentle blush. "My uncle Marcus helped me to make them."
"You made them?!" Johanna was truly shocked.
"It was mostly Marcus," Linden admitted, "But he's gonna teach me properly in winter."
Johanna felt a tiny flicker of sadness when Linden mentioned winter. She would have to wait for winter for cooking lessons, because as soon as school finished, Linden would leave Weston to live with her mom in the victor's village in the centre of the district. She wouldn't be back until it was time to begin high school.
Now wasn't the time to dwell on a summer without Linden, though. Johanna returned her attention to the cookies in the box, and covered them back up for protection.
"They look incredible," said Johanna, still amazed by the cookies. "Thank you!"
She threw her arms around Linden in a hug, partly to thank her for the gift, and partly to remind herself that her friend was still here for another couple of weeks.
"Open mine next!" Jay insisted, bouncing with excitement.
" Ours ," Justin corrected his brother.
Jay handed Johanna a heavy object. It was wrapped in paper covered in small drawings from her brothers. After taking a few moments to enjoy the pictures, with Jay pointing out some of his favourites, Johanna carefully unwrapped the gift, making sure to preserve the paper. She revealed a glass jar filled with a thick, pale substance. Johanna stared at it, confused for a while. Then, she unscrewed the lid and sniffed at the contents. The cream had a pretty, floral scent that almost fully masked a much less pleasant odour lingering underneath.
"What is it?" Johanna asked, eventually.
"It's for your hands," Justin answered. "You know how all the high schoolers get blisters when they start their apprenticeships? That will make them better."
When the large forest in the north west of the district was approved for felling two years ago, it had been over fifty years since anyone in Weston had worked in a lumber trade. Most of the town's residents worked in the paper mills - which were still expected to run at full capacity, despite the additional felling and lumber work that now needed to be done.
The responsibility of woodcutting work had largely fallen to younger adults and high schoolers, allowing the experienced papermakers to continue with their well-practised trade, rather than retraining as lumberjacks.
In the first week that workers entered the forest, the long hours wielding unfamiliar tools had caused severe blisters to erupt over the hands of half of the town's fourteen to twenty four year olds. It was the talk of the town for days, and appropriate medical supplies quickly ran out.
Johanna was struck by the thoughtfulness of her brothers' gift. In just nine weeks, she would begin her first apprenticeship placement. It wouldn't necessarily be in the forest, but sooner or later, she would undertake a rotation there. And whenever she did, there was no doubt that the gift from her brothers would come in very useful.
"That's so kind of you!" Johanna said, stepping over to hug Justin first: the gift had surely been his idea. "Thank you! You're the best little brothers anyone could ask for!"
Justin squeezed Johanna tight and wished her a happy birthday. Then, Jay did the same.
Next, Granny told Johanna to close her eyes and hold out her hands.
Johanna followed the instruction, and quickly felt a soft but fairly heavy object land on her palms. When she was told she could open her eyes, she looked down at a deep red and black checked shirt - more like a jacket, really, with how thick its lining was. She unfolded it and held it up to get a better look. It was almost new. She excitedly thanked her grandmother as she slid the shirt on. Her parents told her she looked "very smart" and "so grown-up". Johanna cringed a little at the compliments - she was old enough now that it felt patronising to be told that she looked grown up. But she knew they meant well, and let the comments slide.
"We gave that to your uncle John for his thirteenth, and he grew out of it within about six weeks," Johanna's Granny mused. "So, don't you go doing the same!"
Johanna giggled. At fourteen, and almost as tall as her mom, she hoped she might still have a little more growing to do. The shirt was too big around the shoulders, and slightly too long. Johanna might grow into the shirt, but she didn't expect she would grow out of it, like uncle John had. And she was glad. The soft, warm, unblemished garment was easily the best item of clothing she owned. She left it on while she leaned over the armchair to give her grandmother a hug.
"Thank you, Granny - I love it," Johanna said, and kissed the old woman on the cheek.
"You're welcome, squirrel. Happy birthday!"
"We have to go outside for your next gift," Johanna's dad said, trying to sound as mysterious as possible.
Johanna removed her new shirt - it was much too warm to wear it in the summer heat - then followed her mom through the house to the back door. The others followed Johanna, equally as intrigued.
Outside, a blanket was draped over a large, square object. Johanna looked to her mom, who nodded her approval for Johanna to take a look. Johanna raced over and carefully pushed the blanket aside, revealing a square of wood. In the centre, there was a solid, black painted circle, about the size of her hand. Three larger black rings surrounded the circle, with the final one almost filling the wooden square.
"It's a target?" she said, questioningly, as she turned back to look at her parents.
Her dad was holding out a wooden box, delicately hand-carved with a geometric pattern around the edge.
"It is," he confirmed. "Happy birthday, Johanna."
He held out the box, and Johanna crossed over, preparing to take it.
"Careful! It's heavy!" her mom warned, just in time to prevent Johanna dropping it.
Johanna sat down on the ground, rested the heavy box on her lap, and undid the clasp. Inside, there lay an axe. The head was shining, freshly sharpened and polished. The handle was a smooth, dark-stained wood, and the top of it was carved in the same intricate pattern that adorned the box - her mother's handiwork, she was sure.
"It's beautiful," she whispered, taking the axe from the box and turning it over in her hands.
It was an old tradition for the children of district Seven to receive an axe on their fourteenth birthday, in time for their work placements to begin. But given the town's decades without lumberjack work, the children of Weston often received a more symbolic axe these days: a small, carved pendant on a necklace was a common choice. Johanna hadn't ever expected to receive a real axe.
"Safety first," her dad said, producing a small, metal padlock and key from his pocket. "You need to keep it locked away when you're not using it: it's a tool, not a toy. And these two-" he pointed to Justin and Jay "-are too young to touch an axe without supervision."
Johanna took the padlock from her dad, nodding her understanding intensely.
"I'll be safe," she promised.
"Wanna see what it can do?" Johanna's mom asked with a grin.
"Yeah!" Johanna nodded, eagerly. She handed the box and padlock up to her father, and, holding the axe in one hand, stood up. She had thrown her dad's old axes many times, and the weight of her new axe already felt familiar in her hand.
Her mom set the target up against the garden fence, with a semi-serious joke, "If you make any holes in the fence, you'll be the one fixing them!"
"Okay," Johanna agreed - because she knew she wouldn't miss.
Johanna found her stance. She flexed her fingers around the handle of her axe. Then, when she was sure she was ready, she took aim, exhaled, and threw.
The thud of the axe wedging its way into the target was heavenly. Johanna's family cheered and applauded her first throw: the bottom half of the blade had made its way into the solid black centre of the target.
She rushed over to the target, and retrieved the axe with a single tug; she knew what she was doing, and the axe wasn't buried particularly deep anyway.
After just a few throws, Johanna's arm began to tire. She would have happily thrown her axe for hours, if she could. It was more motivation to train hard with Linden in the woods; the stronger she got, the longer she'd be able to throw her axe. While she rested her arm, Johanna insisted that the others should each have a go - starting with Granny.
"At my age?" Granny protested, causing her grandchildren to encourage her even harder.
She complained that the axe was heavy, then added that she could barely see the target without her glasses. She swung the axe almost comically, and asked Johanna for some tips. After somewhat following Johanna's instructions, Mary began to take aim. Then, all of a sudden, she adjusted her grip, took aim properly, and threw the axe hard and fast dead into the centre of the target.
As the children's mouths dropped open in shock, Mary laughed.
"Did I never mention I was town champion for five years running?" she said, pretending to be casual despite the clear pride in her eyes. "Second in the district, too, when I was nineteen. Fetch that for me, would you, Jay?"
Jay ran toward the target to retrieve the axe for his grandmother, struggling with it for a few seconds before finally getting it free.
"Again!" he said as he brought the axe back.
"One more, but then I need to check on dinner," Granny agreed.
She looked so natural taking the axe. Johanna wanted to be as good as her grandmother, one day.
Granny launched the axe into exactly the same spot again, much to the delight of the children. Juniper and Arthur were both beaming at the scene.
"I'll get it!" Jay offered, already running back towards the target.
Granny thanked him, then excused herself to tend to dinner.
Johanna's parents both had excellent aim, too - they consistently hit the centre of the target, even when their children insisted they had to stand further back. Johanna wasn't quite as accurate as her parents, but her shots all landed on the target. Justin could get the axe to stick, but his aim wasn't as good as his sister's. Jay and Linden's attempts consistently bounced off and landed on the ground.
"Maybe we've found something else I can teach you," Johanna quietly suggested to Linden as they watched Justin take another shot. She was only half teasing. Really, she desperately hoped that Linden would want to learn.
"Can we?" Linden asked, sounding as hopeful as Johanna felt.
"Yeah, if you want!"
The girls grinned at each other, and Linden eagerly nodded.
The Masons and Linden got carried away with their axe throwing, taking turns to throw and collect the axe until Granny called from inside, "Dinner's nearly ready!"
Johanna made one final throw, landing the axe almost in the centre of the target and drawing another cheer from her family and friend. Then, while the others headed inside to wash their hands and help lay the table, Juniper showed Johanna how to properly clean and wrap the axe, before they locked it away in its box and brought it inside.
The rest of Johanna's birthday party passed too quickly. Everyone shared a delicious dinner, followed by tea and the cookies that Linden had brought. Then, they spent the rest of the evening together talking, laughing and playing card games, until Harry came to collect Linden, and Johanna's mom went to put Jay to bed.
Granny decided it was time for her to leave, too, and Harry offered to walk her home. While Granny laced up her shoes, Johanna's dad chatted to Harry and the children began a quick game in the street.
"Would you like that, kids?" Harry asked.
The children hadn't been paying any attention to the adults' conversation. They stopped playing and returned to the house, to find out what the men had been discussing.
"I was just saying that Johanna could come for dinner after school, if you like?" Harry repeated.
Both girls immediately, enthusiastically agreed. Johanna noticed her dad smiling warmly at her. She briefly wondered whether she had underestimated how worried her parents had been about her apparent lack of friends, before deciding that the past didn't matter any more: what mattered was that she had a friend again now.
Once Granny and Linden had left, Justin went upstairs to bathe before bed, and Johanna joined her parents in the living room for another round of tea.
"Linden's uncle is very kind, walking Granny home," Arthur commented, as he poured out the tea.
"And fixing up your arm, at the Decennium, too," Johanna's mom added. "And earlier, he said he'd be happy to take a look at Roger's hands."
"He's had problems for years!" said Arthur. "Has he not already seen someone about it?"
"Not Harry," Juniper explained, "He was telling me he's only been here a few years, and he doesn't want to step on Vera's toes."
"Oh, where did he move from?" Arthur asked.
"The central district. Do you remember Lisa Thorne from school?"
"The baker's daughter?"
"Yep - Marcus is her older brother. They took over the family business together a few years ago."
"Ahhhhh, of course!" Arthur said, drawing connections between old acquaintances.
"So, Linden's mother is still in the central district?" Juniper asked Johanna.
"Yeah, when she's not travelling," Johanna answered, trying to step carefully around the topic, as Linden would.
"What does she do?" Johanna's dad asked, sounding far too falsely innocent.
His tone gave away exactly what he was doing. I'm fact, now Johanna thought about it, her mom's tone had been a little too casual earlier. Then there was the way she had looked at Harry and Linden after hearing their surname. Curiosity had lingered in both her parents' gazes all evening, actually - whenever they had looked at Linden.
Johanna was about to play along, the way adults usually expected her to. She would answer her parents' questions truthfully and minimally until she eventually ended up revealing what they wanted to know. But then, suddenly, she changed her mind. She was fourteen now. She had an axe. She didn't have to go along with the game. She could cut right to the chase, if she wanted. Granny would. She decided to ask her parents outright.
"Are you trying to find out if she's Yvie Cooper?"
Her parents exchanged a surprised glance. They had worked hard to create an environment where their children felt able to challenge them. Johanna was rarely so direct about it, though. And they hadn't expected her to pick up on their motive, either - at least not so quickly.
"Well, you hear that surname and you wonder…" Johanna's mom tried to explain, gently.
"She's not supposed to tell people at school," Johanna said, as good as admitting the truth, "So please don't tell Justin and Jay. But yeah, Linden's mom is Yvie. That's why she's living with her uncles: her mom is away at The Games."
"So you're telling me, we've had the daughter of a celebrity in our home?!" Johanna's dad asked, feigning overdramatic shock and making Johanna giggle.
"See, this is why she doesn't tell people!" Johanna pointed out through her laughter.
"Your dad's just being silly," Johanna's mom said, gently. "We won't tell. Linden is a lovely girl. She's welcome, any time."
Johanna smiled at her mom, but then her face fell.
"She's going away soon," Johanna mumbled.
"Just for the summer, though, right?" Johanna's dad asked.
When Johanna looked at him in surprise, he explained, "She mentioned it when you were cleaning your axe."
"Yeah, just for the summer," Johanna agreed, still sounding sad.
"You've really taken a liking to her, huh?" Johanna's mom asked.
Johanna shrugged, trying to appear casual, and replied, "It's not like we get a lot of new people in town." She couldn't stop the smile that was creeping onto her face as she added, "And she's really cool."
Her parents exchanged another brief look, but before Johanna could figure out what it meant, they changed the topic.
"So… Granny really never told you she was an axe throwing champion?"
Chapter 9: Dinner
Chapter Text
Johanna woke early, her body filled with the excitement of having dinner at Linden's house that evening. She got ready faster than usual, had time to play a quick game of hide and seek with Jay, and still arrived at school ten minutes before the bell rang. The morning's lessons - even the one she shared with Linden - dragged for what felt like hours. The lunchtime mandatory screening was less interesting than usual, too. Though perhaps that wasn't just an effect of Johanna wishing the day away. There were only four tributes left now, all of whom had spent most of the past day hiding and sleeping - even the two who were still well enough to move were just resting.
"Recuperating their energy for the showdown," Linden had confirmed Johanna's suspicion the games would probably be over soon.
After an even longer afternoon, the school bell finally brought some relief to Johanna's excitement. The girls went to the woods as usual, and Linden taught Johanna a new way to restrain an opponent. It was the only thing all day that had taken Johanna's mind off the fact she was going to Linden's house later. They spent a couple of hours reviewing old moves, wrestling each other to the dry floor, and learning how to escape the new hold, too. Then, tired and dusty, they walked back to Linden's house.
Johanna hadn't known how to ask Linden what her house was like. So, instead, Johanna had given the topic far too much thought, accidentally letting her imagination run wild. Based on Linden's flashy belongings and decadent lunches, Johanna expected her to be living in a mansion - perhaps with a gate and flowers, perhaps even with someone who worked at the house to cook and clean and answer the door, like in some of the old books she'd read.
However, from the outside at least, Linden's uncles' home looked practically identical to Johanna's own family's - though it was pristinely clean. Johanna felt relieved that she wasn't about to be faced with an overwhelming house. However, there was a shred of disappointment, too. And also a hint of embarrassment at how silly she'd been; now that she thought about it in more practical terms, Johanna could only think of a handful of designs of house and apartment in Weston. Of course Linden's uncles didn't live in a mansion less than a mile from Johanna's own house!
Linden's uncles both came to the door to welcome the girls warmly. Within just a few seconds, Johanna knew they were kind, generous and funny. In many ways, they reminded Johanna of her own parents.
Once they had taken their shoes off and briefly caught Harry and Marcus up on their day, Linden pointed out the mixture of dusty earth and sweat that streaked her face and clothes, and suggested she and Johanna should get washed up before the tour. Her uncles agreed, with loving smiles that told how used they were to Linden arriving home covered in dirt. Linden hurried upstairs, telling Johanna to follow her. She led them to the bathroom, where they used rags to wash the worst of the dirt off their arms, legs and faces.
"You'll have to borrow something clean to wear," Linden told Johanna, pointing to the filthy marks on the back of her shorts and blouse. "Harry and Marcus won't let us on the sofa like this!"
Despite Linden's familiar open, casual tone, Johanna still felt her anxiety spike at the thought of borrowing clothes. She didn't want to inconvenience Linden like that. It felt rude, somehow, to wear someone else's clothes, even at their suggestion. She didn't want to risk looking silly in an oversized outfit, either. On the other hand, though, she didn't want to risk making Harry and Marcus' house dirty.
"Okay," Johanna agreed tentatively.
"I think I have the perfect t-shirt for you, actually," Linden continued, seemingly unaware of Johanna's mild turmoil as she lead the way from the bathroom to her bedroom, "It was one of my favourites, but it shrank a bit in the laundry at school, so it doesn't really fit me any more. If you like it, you can have it."
Again, Johanna felt her anxiety spike despite Linden's nonchalant offer. Linden had already given Johanna a wonderful birthday present yesterday, and now she was offering to gift her a t-shirt, too? Johanna couldn't accept it. The t-shirt may not fit Linden any more, but wouldn't Asher need it soon? Or, if not, then they could trade it for something else they needed.
Or, perhaps that wasn't how things worked for Linden's family, Johanna reasoned. Johanna and everyone else at school inherited most of their clothes from older siblings, cousins or friends. At 14, some had now even started sharing clothes with their parents. However, Linden and her family lived quite differently from everyone else at Weston Middle School. Perhaps they didn't need to rely on second hand clothes and trading. Perhaps they got all their clothes new, from the capitol.
"Oh, I couldn't -" Johanna's instinct had already kicked in.
"Of course you can!" Linden interrupted. "Harry will just use it to clean the windows or something otherwise, which will be a bit sad." She pushed open a door that had been left ajar and led the way inside, as she suggested a compromise, "Just see if you like it!"
Johanna was far too busy taking in the sight of Linden's bedroom to formulate a reply about the t-shirt.
Johanna wasn't sure whether to describe the room as tidy or messy. There were neat rows of books almost filling three shelves, but also school books and pens sprawled over the desk haphazardly. The wardrobe doors were left half open, but they exposed neatly-hung clothes inside. There was an almost-empty glass of water on the small cabinet next to the unmade bed, and a hair tie on one of the bed posts - but the lamp, book and tissue box were neatly arranged.
A large chest of drawers was strewn with small bottles and boxes, hair ties, coins, a hairbrush… Johanna had to make a conscious effort to stop staring at the collection of items and move her gaze away.
The walls were papered with an intricate design of white stars and colourful planets on medium blue. A large mirror hung on one of them, above the drawers. There was a large suitcase standing near the door, with a half-folded sweater draped on top.
"Oh, yeah, this is my room," Linden said, unironically stretching out her arms to gesture to the space around her. "I chose the space theme when I was a kid, and then this room was Asher's room for a few years, but now that I'm living here, it's mine again! And I get to redecorate it however I like. Or, I mean, not me - Harry and Marcus are going to do it in the summer."
Linden's rambling had brought a fond smile to Johanna's face. But it quickly dropped away again at the mention of summer. Linden headed towards four rolls of paper propped up in the corner of the room as Johanna concentrated on suppressing another strong twinge of sadness at the thought of the two of them being separated for weeks.
"They let me choose the paper," Linden said, proudly unravelling a couple of feet of a roll for Johanna to see.
Multi colour lines intersected each other to make a bold geometric pattern on a grey-white background. Johanna ran her eyes over the colours, following a jagged route of reds, purples and blues across the unravelled portion of the roll.
"That's so nice!" she said when she remembered to actually voice her thoughts.
"Right? I really like it," Linden agreed, carefully rolling the paper back up. "I'm going to start taking the old paper off soon!" she excitedly explained as she worked.
Next, Johanna followed Linden to the chest of drawers. Linden pulled open the second drawer, revealing haphazard piles of semi-folded clothes. She grabbed the top pair of shorts from one side, and the top t-shirt from the other, and tossed them onto her unmade bed. Then, she rummaged through the clothes to find something for Johanna.
"These should fit you if you pull the string tight," she said, holding a pair of soft, grey shorts out for Johanna to take.
"Thanks," Johanna remembered to mumble, while she was still busy taking everything in. She was in Linden's room, surrounded by all her clothes and books and toys.
"Maybe the t-shirt is still in my suitcase," Linden thought aloud, fruitlessly rifling through another drawer before pushing it shut with her knee. "I didn't unpack everything, because I'm not here for long." She moved over to the case, lay it flat, and knelt down to unzip it, while Johanna swallowed another wave of sadness at the reminder that Linden would be away all summer.
The case was far from full, but still contained almost as many clothes as Johanna owned.
"Aha!" Linden said almost immediately, yanking a garment from near the bottom of the case. Everything that had been on top of the t-shirt rose into the air a couple of inches, flipped, and fell back into the case in a semi-folded heap.
Linden shook out the t-shirt for Johanna to see. It was a strong, unfaded black. A large design in muted colours adorned the front - not entirely dissimilar to Linden's new wallpaper. It took Johanna a few seconds to understand the angular shapes represented a butterfly.
"What do you think?" Linden asked.
Johanna liked it. She liked it a lot. But she was still a little overwhelmed at the thought of even borrowing such a nice item of clothing, let alone being gifted it. Her conflicting emotions caused her to hesitate, and Linden filled the silence.
"It comes to here on me now," she used the edge of her hand to point to her abdomen, roughly at the top of her hip. "But it will probably fit you perfectly!"
"It's lovely," Johanna said, finally letting her excitement win out over her apprehension.
"Then try it on!" Linden threw the t-shirt to Johanna, who caught it easily.
The material was heavier and softer than Johanna had expected. Hallmarks of its quality, she assumed. She ran her finger and thumb along the hem of a sleeve, marvelling at the juxtaposition of the strength and softness of the material. Her finger then began to trace the dark green of a wing tip, changing direction to a connecting purple line, then a blue.
"This is so nice," Johanna said, cringing slightly as she realised it was the second time she'd said 'so nice' since arriving in Linden's room.
"Yeah, I was really annoyed that the school laundry shrank it!" Linden agreed.
Johanna looked up from the shirt as Linden spoke, and was flustered to realise her friend had already begun changing.
She immediately turned away, spinning 180 degrees so rapidly she got hair in her eyes
"It's so weird to think of a school doing laundry," Johanna babbled, desperately hoping that continuing the conversation would lessen her embarrassment.
She also began unbuttoning her blouse, remembering that she was supposed to be trying the t-shirt on. Perhaps Linden would think she had turned away solely for the purpose of getting changed herself, rather than following some kind of modesty instinct that Linden clearly didn't have.
"It would be weird for Weston schools to do laundry, yeah," Linden continued the conversation, to Johanna's relief. "But it was normal at my old school. They had to do all sorts of stuff like that for us, because we lived there."
The t-shirt slipped over Johanna's raised arms like an embrace. The comforting weight was unusual for a summer garment, but welcome. It was slightly long and wide for her, but not excessively so.
"Yeah, it makes sense," said Johanna, admiring the shirt. "I guess I just still don't really understand what it's like to live at school."
"Let's see!" Linden changed the subject, excited to see one of her favourite shirts on her friend.
Johanna squashed her apprehension that Linden might still be changing and turned around to face her friend.
"It looks so good on you!" Linden beamed. "There's even room for you to grow!"
Johanna nodded, looking down at the t-shirt again with a grin.
"I love it! Thank you!"
"I'm just glad it fits one of us," Linden smiled back.
Johanna turned away again to change her shorts, and when she was dressed, Linden took Johanna on a tour of the house. While it had the same layout as Johanna's, it had been decorated completely differently. It smelled completely different, too. And the sunlight came in from the other side.
Through the open door to Harry and Marcus' bedroom - in the same place as Johanna's parents' bedroom, but starkly different in every other way - Johanna was also introduced to Betty, a small tabby cat who was roused from a nap by the girls.
"She's friendly," Linden beckoned Johanna over to the edge of the bed, "You can stroke her."
"Uh," Johanna hesitated. She wasn't familiar with animals, and didn't want to hurt the cat, or cause it to bite her.
"Like this," Linden seemed to realise the reason for Johanna's hesitance. She slowly demonstrated how to let Betty sniff her hand, and then gently pet her head.
Johanna tentatively followed Linden's instructions, and Betty patiently remained curled on the bed, as if helping the novice. Johanna's confidence rapidly grew, and Betty seemed to greatly enjoy the attention from two humans at once.
"She likes you," Linden smiled.
"She's so soft!" Johanna almost giggled as Betty bumped her head into Johanna's hand for more.
"Do you want to come on the rest of the tour?" Linden asked the cat, getting up from the end of the bed.
To Johanna's surprise, Betty stood and stretched.
"Did she understand?" Johanna couldn't help wondering aloud.
"She probably just realised it's dinner time," Linden explained, heading towards the stairs. "But she does sometimes follow me around."
"That's so cute!" Johanna said, following Linden.
A moment later, there was a soft thud behind them. The cat soon overtook them, expertly trotting down the stairs past their feet.
After the tour of downstairs, which Betty partly joined, Linden showed Johanna how to drag a piece of string around the floor for Betty to chase. Johanna was mesmerised. She didn't have much experience with any pets, but within minutes she had fallen in love with Betty. Betty seemed to like Johanna, too.
When the cat was tired of playing, she stalked over to her water bowl. The girls got up from the floor, and sat on the sofa together. Betty soon reappeared, inviting herself to join them. She jumped up into the small gap between Johanna and Linden, shifted around a few times to find a comfortable position, then settled down with her head resting on Johanna's leg like a pillow. Johanna felt like she might melt.
"Dinner's - oh, look at her!" Harry had popped his head around the door to let the girls know dinner was ready, but the sight of Betty cuddling into them had made him interrupt himself.
"She's so cute," Johanna replied, giving Betty a gently stroke.
"She must like you a lot!" Harry said, smiling down at the three of them. "But you'll have to cuddle more later. Betty, food!"
The cat raised her head at the sound of her name. From the kitchen, Marcus made a sound like a spoon tapping against a bowl. Betty scrabbled to her paws, jumped off the sofa, and hurried from the room towards the sound.
Johanna laughed, surprised at the cat's behaviour again.
"She knows the sound of dinner," Harry explained, as the girls got up and followed him to the table.
Although the house was simpler than Johanna had expected, the food exceeded her expectations. Harry explained that Marcus had worked in countless kitchens, all over the district. With his skills and connections, as well as the money that Linden's mom sent to take care of his niece, he always cooked up incredible dinners: and that night was no exception. Johanna finished every bite, savouring the flavours and quality of the food.
When Marcus offered her seconds, she gratefully accepted. Not only was it some of the best food she had ever tasted, but Johanna's appetite had rapidly increased over the last couple of weeks, too. The after-school exercise was apparently taking up more energy than usual, but there wasn't always any extra food at home.
After months and months of bullying, Johanna tended to be quiet at school. That quietness was often mistaken for shyness. But really, she wasn't an especially shy child. Harry and Marcus asked her about school, her family, her hobbies. In return, she had a lot of questions for them about their work, and Betty. After more than an hour at the table, it was clear they all liked each other a lot - including Betty, who was even allowed to eat a tiny scrap of meat right from Johanna's hand.
After dinner, Harry insisted the girls didn't need to help clean up, and sent them to the living room to play with Betty. The time flew by, with Linden and Johanna laughing together as the cat ran and jumped to chase her toys. When Johanna's mom came to pick her up, the girls were still busy throwing a small paper ball for Betty to bat around the floorboards. Harry and Marcus invited Juniper in to hear all about their evening and meet the cat, which she happily accepted. But just as she entered the living room, cooing over Betty, the TV switched itself on. The final fight of the Hunger Games had begun.
Chapter 10: The 68th Victor
Chapter Text
The victor of the 68th Hunger Games would be decided tonight. There was no other reason that the TV would have turned itself on at this stage of The Games. Regardless, the announcer had already used the phrase "final showdown" three times within the few seconds the show had been playing, and was trying to stir up excitement in the audience.
The final showdown was always mandatory viewing. Everyone who was able to watch had to. If Johanna and her mother had left Linden's uncles' house five minutes earlier, they would have been allowed to continue walking - either to the nearest public screening, or probably to their home, as it was close enough. But if they left now, they'd be breaking the law. And there would definitely be peacekeepers on patrol this evening, ensuring people were watching the mandatory show.
Immediately realising that Juniper would have to stay for a while, Harry invited her to sit with him. Marcus offered her a drink, too. She politely accepted a glass of water, and settled onto the sofa. Johanna got up from the floor and sat next to her mother, followed by Linden and Betty.
Johanna's parents had always watched as little of The Hunger Games as they could. As far as they knew, their children did the same. Johanna hadn't mentioned to them that she had actually been watching the lunchtime screenings this year. She didn't think any of them would benefit from her sharing the information.
Of course, Juniper had recently learned Linden was the child of a victor. Therefore, she must have realised Linden likely had a lot of exposure to The Games. But even so, as the show played on the screen in front of them, Johanna knew her mom wouldn't like hearing Linden's personal commentary.
"It's late for the final showdown," Linden commented as she settled into the corner. "It's going to start getting dark soon. I thought they'd wait til tomorrow."
Johanna became acutely aware of how Linden's casual neutrality may sound callous to anyone who didn't know her better. She glanced at her mother, who had stiffened and gritted her teeth. She hated her mother's discomfort. She hated even more that she had no idea what to do about it. She couldn't ask Linden not to comment on the show; she couldn't apologise for Linden's analysis; she couldn't try to defend Linden to her mother.
She remained silent and tense between them, stroking Betty's head and desperately hoping for the showdown to be over soon.
Marcus returned, bringing a tray of drinks for everyone. When they had all been handed out, there was nothing left to do but make tense smalltalk as they sat, watched, and petted the cat.
The pair of district two tributes battled desperately on screen. Both were injured; bloody and limping. But they were both determined to win, too. Many minutes passed before, finally, the girl fell to the floor.
"Roll!" Linden called out at the screen, as if trying to help the tribute.
But the girl didn't roll. She tried to stab up at her competitor from where she had landed, perhaps attempting to conjure an element of surprise. The boy, however, didn't hesitate to use his positional advantage. He easily side-stepped her knife, and in the same movement, brought an axe down to land a fatal blow.
They all recoiled in their seats at the violent sight. Even Betty seemed to notice something was wrong.
"She should have rolled," Linden lamented, as the screen showed blood gushing from the unconscious girl's neck.
As soon as the victor was formally announced, the mandatory viewing was over. Johanna's mom immediately thanked their hosts, and told Johanna that they should be on their way - they were already late. It was true that they were running late, but that clearly wasn't the only source of Johanna's mom's tension and urgency. Johanna said her thanks and goodbyes, including to Betty. Harry and Marcus told Juniper Johanna was a delight to have over, and that she was welcome any time. She politely thanked them again, and then took Johanna's hand, and left.
As they walked down the path to the street, Juniper gripped Johanna's hand tight. Johanna would have been able to sense her mom's tension regardless of the strong hold. Within just a few quick steps, Johanna had convinced herself her mom was angry. Neither of her parents were angered easily, but neither were they usually quiet. Her mom must have hated the way Linden had reacted to The Games. Was Johanna even going to be allowed to see Linden again? She began to mentally prepare arguments for being allowed to continue her friendship.
As soon as they turned onto the main street, Johanna's mom dropped her hand, and slightly slowed her pace. She curled her arm around Johanna's shoulders, with a gentle, reassuring squeeze.
"Are you okay, Jo?" she asked, gently.
The gesture and soft question caught Johanna off guard. Maybe her mother wasn't angry, at all?
"Yeah, I'm fine," Johanna assured her mother. "Are you okay?"
"I'm just so glad you're safe," Juniper's voice broke slightly as she squeezed Johanna's shoulder again.
Johanna felt a small spike of guilt. Her mother's silent tension hadn't been anger at all, just fear and concern.
"It's okay to feel upset, after what you just saw back there," Johanna's mom continued. "If you want to talk about it…"
Johanna wasn't upset. She hadn't enjoyed watching the final showdown, but The Hunger Games were an inescapable fact of life. She had accepted that.
"Mom," Johanna calmly turned to face her mother as they walked, "You know they show The Games at school. I've seen kids die before -"
"I know, Jo. I know. But that doesn't make it okay," Johanna's mom reiterated, gently.
"I know it's not okay. But I'm okay," Johanna reassured her mother.
Johanna's mom smiled at her, sadly. Then, she brushed a stray lock of hair from her face and squeezed her shoulder again.
"At least it's over now. We don't have to think about The Games until next year."
Next year?
Johanna was struck hard by how wrong her mother was.
She could count on one hand the times that she genuinely considered either of her parents to be wrong about something. At fourteen years old, the realisation that they even could be wrong was still always jarring.
The Hunger Games wasn't "over" "until next year".
Once the victor was well enough to be interviewed about his Games, there would be more mandatory viewing. Then there was the victory tour: because Johanna was of reaping age, she and at least one member of her family would have to attend the live event in the centre of the district in a few months.
And aside from those mandatory post-Hunger Games events, there were the more indirect reminders, too. History lessons at school contained regular references to the rebellion and the Games. Johanna had recently submitted her third tesserae application. Justin's first one would be coming up this year.
Also, for the past couple of weeks, Johanna had practically been in training for The Games every time she went to the forest with Linden - not that her mom knew that part of it.
Even without learning Games-inspired self-defence, there were frequent enough reminders of The Hunger Games that Johanna rarely got to forget about it for a week, let alone a year.
Johanna let her thoughts circle her mind for a moment. She briefly debated whether she should correct her mom - she had already been sad enough this evening, without Johanna adding another reason. But she soon decided she owed her mother the truth, even if it hurt her.
"No, Mom," Johanna sighed, "I think about it a lot."
Johanna's mom squeezed her shoulder again. "Of course you do, honey. I'm sorry, Jo. I remember what it was like. I guess what I mean is you should try to have a few months each year where you don't think about it."
That made much more sense than her mother expecting her to forget all about it until next year. Putting The Games from her mind would allow her to live at least part of each year in a state of blissful ignorance.
But after just two and a half weeks of learning about The Games from Linden, Johanna wasn't sure she wanted to live in blissful ignorance. She had begun to embrace the idea that the children should be preparing for The Hunger Games, rather than trying to forget about them. Learning how to hide and defend herself didn't really make her any less scared about being reaped. But it did make her feel like she was at least doing something. She was taking what little control she could over the situation, and it was helping her to feel much better than trying to ignore The Hunger Games ever had
After another pause to get her thoughts in order, Johanna decided she needed to tell her mother how she felt.
"That doesn't really work for me," she began, nervously.
A grave concern washed over Juniper's expression, breaking Johanna's heart. She quickly realised her mother had misunderstood her, and she scrabbled to articulate herself more fully.
"No, I mean, not like I'm always thinking about it. I can forget about it sometimes."
Some of Juniper's concern was now replaced with confusion, and she patiently waited for her daughter to elaborate.
"What I mean is… we can't avoid The Games. I can't avoid thinking about it, with the victory tour and school and everything. So instead of trying to ignore it, I'm sort of… taking control of it, instead."
Johanna's mother pressed her lips together tightly, mulling over her daughter's words for a few seconds while Johanna waited, anxiously.
"Well, I may not fully understand what that means," Johanna's mom eventually replied, "But what I do know is that we all have our own ways of coping with The Games. You should do whatever works best for you, Jo. And your dad and I will always help you with whatever you need, as best we can."
Relief poured from Johanna in a wide smile. She felt full of love from her mother. She felt full of love for her mother, too.
"Thanks, mom," she said, wrapping her arm around her mother's waist and leaning her head against the front of her shoulder.
Juniper held Johanna tight for a moment, not caring that it was interrupting the rhythm of their walk.
"Can you explain any more about this taking control?" Juniper asked, encouragingly. "I'd like to understand."
"Okay," she began, hoping her mom was ready to hear what she had to say, "When I've been playing in the woods after school, I've also been learning some self-defence - like how to escape if someone grabs me."
"That sounds like a very useful skill to have," Johanna's mother replied, calmly.
Johanna knew how much her parents disliked violence, so she wasn't surprised by her mother's lack of enthusiasm. She hadn't expected the hint of relief in her mother's expression, though. Johanna tried to decipher it. Had her parents been concerned Johanna had been doing something worse after school? Or, perhaps it was related to her mother's suspicion about Johanna being bullied.
"Hopefully I won't actually have to use it," Johanna replied, "But, yeah. It's useful for… my mind."
"I don't know much about this sort of thing, but that sounds like the right attitude to have," Johanna's mother was smiling at her daughter, proudly.
"And, uh," Johanna hesitated, feeling nervous again. She took a breath, readying herself to talk to her mom about something that had been on her mind ever since reaping day, when Linden had spoken of having a plan.
"I want to make a plan, as well. A plan for what to do if they call my name at the reaping next year," Johanna explained, rushing through the words so she didn't have time to lose her nerve.
"Everyone usually just cries when they're chosen, because they're shocked and scared and they don't have any plans for what else to do. But sponsors find crying boring, which means they won't send you food and medicine and stuff in the arena. Linden and her brother and sister have always had plans - every year. They know exactly what to do if their names get called. So, I want to have a plan, just in case it's me. I think it would help. I think it would make me feel… more powerful."
Johanna's mother gave her another loving smile, tinged with equal amounts of pride and sadness.
"You are powerful, Johanna," she insisted, looking into Johanna's eyes intently. "You're clever and you're kind, and you have a lot of love in your heart. Those qualities are more powerful than most people think."
They were kind words, spoken with such conviction that Johanna believed them. But nothing about them was specific to what Johanna had just divulged about wanting to make a plan. Johanna was concerned that her mother hadn't really understood her indirect request for permission, and was just about to ask when her mother spoke again.
"But if coming up with a reaping plan makes you feel even more powerful, then that's what we'll do."
Johanna felt like she was glowing. A heady mixture of relief, joy and love almost overwhelmed her. It was a big sacrifice on Juniper's part; she detested thinking about The Hunger Games, but hadn't hesitated to agree to help Johanna make a reaping plan. Johanna was lucky to have such loving, supportive parents. She couldn't work out how to express her feelings, though, beyond a loving hug, and a simple, "Thanks, mom."
Chapter 11: Practice
Chapter Text
The next morning, waiting for class to start, Johanna excitedly told Linden the good news: her parents had agreed that she could come up with a reaping plan. Linden was happy for her, and the girls spent a while animatedly coming up with suggestions for what Johanna's plan might involve, before Linden remembered how her own preparations work. She told Johanna a lot can change in a year, and therefore it never makes sense to start planning until closer to the reaping. Johanna agreed with Linden that it made sense to wait, but she knew she would be regularly fantasising about her different options for the next few months, regardless.
Changing the topic, Linden then shared some news of her own: her mother was travelling home today, and was going to be staying with Harry, Marcus and Linden tonight.
"I'm really excited to see her properly," Linden buzzed, "But it means I can't go to the woods after school today. Harry is picking me up, and we're going straight to the station. Sorry!"
Johanna tried to hurry through her disappointment at missing out on their usual time together in the woods. She wanted to be happy for Linden finally getting to reunite with her mom.
"That's okay!" Johanna said, willing it to be true, "You must both be looking forward to it so much!"
"Yeah!" Linden grinned.
With the mandatory lunchtime Hunger Games viewings over for the year, Johanna and Linden returned to the shade of the small tree to eat. They sat directly on the sparse grass, which the sun hadn't yet dried enough to feel too spiky against their legs. As usual, they traded some of their food - with Johanna feeling increasingly less guilty about it as the days went by.
They were discussing which of the five dull topics to choose for their upcoming biology presentation, when they were interrupted by a sarcastic voice from somewhere behind Johanna's shoulder.
"Aww, isn't that cute?"
Instinctive terror left Johanna frozen in place, a berry delicately pinched between her thumb and finger. Apparently three weeks of freedom from Olivia's bullying wasn't enough for Johanna's body to forget its learned reactions.
Naively, Johanna had almost started to believe she might never experience any of Olivia's bullying again. She should have known Olivia would be back, and, more pressingly, she should have prepared for it. But she hadn't. She had been too caught up in her new friendship to give Olivia a second thought.
In panic, Johanna defaulted to her most common method of handling Olivia: ignoring her.
"A little picnic date!"
Olivia's insipid, teasing voice was growing closer. Johanna hadn't turned to look at the bully, but she could hear footsteps approaching through the grass. She made a conscious effort to regain control of her frozen body, and carefully placed the berry she was holding next to her remaining piece of flatbread. She wanted to wait to enjoy it properly, once Olivia was gone.
With the berry safely returned to her box, and hoping she looked braver than she felt, Johanna looked over at Linden.
Linden was wiping her hand off on the side of her shorts, having also replaced her food in her box. She was staring up past Johanna - presumably at Olivia - with a hard, set expression.
"I told you to leave her alone," Linden reminded Olivia, in a tone that was a clear threat.
"Oh, don't worry - she's all yours," Olivia tossed back.
Oliviw didn't sound particularly scared of the girl who had thrown her to the floor three weeks ago. In fact, the unpleasant sound of Olivia and her friends sniggering wafted through the summer air as they continued walking past Johanna and Linden, looking back a couple of times as they went.
"What's her problem?" Linden pondered, watching the children walk away.
"I genuinely don't know," Johanna shrugged, feeling the frustration behind her answer. If she knew why Olivia was bullying her - or even just why she'd begun in the first place - then maybe she'd have been able to stop it.
Johanna and Linden said goodbye as they left their last class, briefly hugging outside the building before Linden hurried off to meet her uncle and mom. Within seconds, Johanna had defaulted to her old method of walking home: she put her head down and quickly weaved through the crowd of laughing, playing children spilling out of the school gates.
Often, she was out of there quick enough to avoid any harassment from Olivia. Her class must have been let out a little late today, though, because just a few metres from the school gates, one of the children Johanna hurried past was Olivia.
Johanna noticed far too late to do anything about it. All she could do was increase her pace, and hope she would slide by unseen in the crowd.
"Hey, Johanna," Olivia's voice cut through the handful of children between them.
Johanna didn't turn. She didn't react at all. She just continued moving towards home as fast as she could, employing her usual technique of ignoring Olivia.
It wasn't working, though. Johanna gritted her teeth in fear as she heard the unmistakable sound of Olivia and at least one of her friends hurrying through the crowd towards her
"Where's your girlfriend?"
It was the same taunt Olivia had used at the reaping. It was different this time, both in the fact that it was accompanied by a small, unkind laugh, and that there weren't any peacekeepers around today. However, Johanna took a little comfort in the reminder that she had handled this before. She could handle Olivia's bullying, even without Linden. She just needed to remain calm, and use her brain.
Remaining calm was easier said than done, though, as the voices of Olivia's friends grew closer.
“Where’s the new girl, Johanna?”
The trio had already caught up to Johanna, jogging with the effort of overtaking her fast pace. Olivia made her way directly in front of Johanna, walking backwards to look her in the eye. Her friends were on either side, preparing to block Johanna’s exits.
"Huh?" the other friend prompted, when Johanna didn’t reply.
“Leave me alone,” Johanna demanded, managing to make her voice sound more bored than scared.
“She’s not here,” the other friend announced, looking around the thinning crowd of middle schoolers as if to confirm they couldn't see Linden.
“Aww, did she finally realise what a freak you are?” Olivia sneered, with a false, mocking concern.
The question annoyed Johanna. Not because she was insulted by it - it just didn’t make much sense . After a year of isolation due to Olivia’s bullying, none of the other students in Weston Middle School knew much at all about Johanna. So, strictly speaking, Linden would have a much better grasp of everything about Johanna - including how much of a "freak" she was - than anyone else. The fact that the two of them were travelling home separately today wasn't connected, and it was silly for Olivia to think so.
Johanna couldn’t figure out a succinct way to point out all the flaws in Olivia’s question. She didn’t particularly want to, either – she just wanted to get away from Olivia as quickly as possible.
Johanna tried again to calm herself, and come up with a plan. She watched Olivia for a moment. Walking backwards in a crowd - even though it was slightly thinner, this far from school - wasn't easy. Gaps appeared and resolved between Olivia and her friends as they moved between other students.
Gaps presented opportunities.
“Leave me alone!” Johanna repeated, making a quick attempt to slip through a gap next to Olivia.
Johanna’s feet and shoulders worked fast, propelling her body through the small space the moment it reappeared. She didn’t quite make it past them, though, before Olivia grabbed her arm, and one of Olivia's friends grabbed the edge of her shirt.
"Oh no, you don't," Olivia snarled, improving her grip so that both hands were grasping Johanna's arm tight.
She had brought them to a stop now, impeding the flow of the middle schoolers walking home. Younger children moved around them quickly, their heads down, scared they might provide a reason to become Olivia's next victim if they didn't get out of there fast enough. Johanna would probably have done the same. She didn't blame them.
As always, Olivia's friend let her take the lead, dropping Johanna's shirt as soon as Olivia had a good hold on Johanna.
This wasn't going to plan. Olivia's grip was hurting. Panic had taken over Johanna's mind before she realised it. But, accessing her training, she quickly managed to regain a little control. Olivia's hands were still digging into Johanna's arm, distracting her. Or, perhaps it was a good thing that Olivia's hands were drawing Johanna's attention.
Olivia just so happened to be holding Johanna using one of the first basic positions Johanna had studied with Linden.
Johanna hesitated for another half a second, considering whether it was wise to put her new skills to the test against three people, with no backup. But all three of them weren't holding her - it was only Olivia. And there was a fairly clear path through the disparate crowd of homebound students ahead, allowing for Johanna to make an easy escape - as long as she moved quickly.
A pleasant adrenaline rush hit her, accompanying her decision to fight back.
Within the blink of an eye, Johanna had skillfully twisted her arm and body to free herself from Olivia's grip with surprising ease, all while disrupting Olivia's balance enough that the bully stumbled into one of her friends. Johanna seamlessly used the momentum of the manoeuvre to start running, just as she had practised in the woods.
"What the fuck?" Olivia's confusion brought a small smile to Johanna's face. As she sprinted away, Johanna imagined Olivia comically flailing, or staring in puzzlement at her empty hands. The sounds of Olivia and her friends beginning to chase Johanna soon followed, but Johanna wasn't worried. She had never been a bad runner, and in the past three weeks of training, she had improved. With her head start, she was confident she could escape the bullies.
A few seconds later, Olivia seemed to come to the same realisation. The footsteps slowed and stopped, followed by a menacing call of, "Tomorrow, Johanna. Watch out tomorrow!"
It should have scared her. Just a few weeks ago, it would have made her feel sick with fear. But today, Johanna was filled with leftover adrenaline and a sweet rush of relief that made her smile. Also, she didn't have to worry; Linden would be there tomorrow.
In an uncharacteristic but exciting display of confidence, Johanna decided to reply to Olivia's threat. Still running, and still looking ahead to make sure she didn't run into any other children, Johanna lifted her middle finger high in the air.
As she walked the last few minutes home, Johanna reflected on the afternoon's altercation with Olivia, and how differently it might have gone if she had never met Linden. Her thoughts of "if I'd never met Linden" soon led to her thinking again about the impending summer without her new best friend. Dread was a strong word, but she certainly wasn't looking forward to almost eight weeks without Linden.
Having run half the way home, Johanna arrived a while before her father and brothers. As she began unpacking her school things from her bag, she tried to find a way to make herself feel better about missing Linden over summer. Eventually, she came up with the idea to give Linden a small gift before she left; something to remind her of Weston while she was away for the summer.
The matter of exactly what the gift should be was much more of a challenge. Johanna didn't have any money to buy a gift, and she didn't have much to trade, either. She couldn't think of anything of her own worth giving to her friend; Linden's family's money and access to the capitol meant Linden wouldn't get much out of any of Johanna's few belongings. In that case, Johanna realised, the gift had to be personal. She briefly considered drawing something for Linden, but quickly dismissed the idea as too childish; it felt like something Jay would do.
Perhaps, though, she could whittle something?
Johanna had tried a few carving and whittling projects before. Her mom was a talented carver, and all three children had been encouraged to give it a go a few times. None of Johanna's attempts had been very successful before, but she was older now, and wanted to try again.
Over the course of the next couple of hours, Johanna played with her brothers and contemplated what to make for Linden. But it wasn't until they were called for dinner, which reminded Johanna of the way Betty had run downstairs when called, that she settled on an idea.
"Mom," Johanna asked, before even taking the first bite of her dinner, "Can I try doing some whittling again, please?"
"Of course!" Juniper lit up, delighted that her daughter was showing interest in her hobby, "We can start tonight, if you like?
"Yes please!" Johanna enthusiastically agreed.
"What would you like to make?"
"I was thinking of making a cat," Johanna answered, growing rapidly, unexpectedly self-conscious as she spoke, but pushing through to finish the explanation. "For Linden. She and Betty are really going to miss each other over summer..." she trailed off, blushing.
"That's a lovely idea," her dad smiled at her, with a mixture of pride and something Johanna couldn't decipher, "And I don't think Betty is the only one she'll miss."
He gently ruffled Johanna's hair, before returning to eating. Really, Johanna was too old to have her hair ruffled. But she still sort of liked it anyway. She grinned back at her dad.
After dinner, Juniper helped Johanna to sketch out a design for a cat on a small piece of wood. She reminded Johanna how to move the knife through the grain, gave her a few pointers as she began, and then picked up a project of her own.
As they repetitively shaved wood away from their respective blocks of wood, Johanna and Juniper chatted. For the first time in a long time, Johanna wasn't vague about her life at school; she told her mother about eating lunches with Linden, about her upcoming Biology presentation, and how she had actually started looking forward to starting high school in the fall.
Juniper was noticeably grateful to be let back into her daughter's life, after so many months of half-truths and subject changes. Johanna hadn't realised how concerned her mother had been, and how much she must have been holding back her urge to pry. A strange mixture of guilt and appreciation washed through her for a while, but Juniper made it clear she was just pleased to be talking again, and Johanna resolved to make it up to her parents by being more open with them from now on. Even about the hard things.
Johanna went to bed that night feeling calm; no longer anxious about bullies at school, no longer quite so helpless about missing Linden over summer, and relieved to be sharing more things about her life with her mother again.
Chapter 12: Summer
Chapter Text
On Linden's last full weekend in Weston, Johanna was invited over to help her start redecorating her bedroom. Their first job was to strip the wallpaper from the walls. Neither of the girls had ever done it before, so Marcus taught them a few techniques to help them get started, then left them to it.
Some sheets came off practically whole, the decade old paste giving way as they delicately pulled. Linden suggested trimming a large piece to make a poster for Asher, and then extended the same offer for Johanna's younger siblings, too. It only took them a few minutes to create three neat, planet-filled posters, which they carefully set aside downstairs before continuing.
Other sections of the paper were much more difficult to remove. Marcus brought a bucket and some rags, and the girls began to soak the paper to soften the adhesive, which allowed them to scrape it away in small, wet pieces.
As Johanna carefully lifted a piece of damp paper with her scraper, she noticed some lines scribbled on the wall underneath. She gradually revealed some letters above, in a large, shaky scrawl that unmistakably read "LIND-".
"Look!" she pointed to the writing, beckoning Linden over.
"No way!" Linden was equally delighted by the discovery, and called out to her uncle for more information. "Marcus?"
"Yes, Peanut?"
"Did we write on these walls when we were little?"
Marcus' footsteps were already on the stairs as he replied, "Yes, we got everyone to sign the wall before we decorated. Have you found it?"
"I think Johanna must have, yeah!"
Marcus smiled at the partially-revealed name as he entered the room.
"That's Asher," he said, pointing to the revealed scribble, "with Linden's help. And everyone else's names will be up here."
Linden and Johanna immediately began to concentrate on the part of the wall with the names, being careful not to risk washing them away. Marcus helped, too, until eventually they had cleared the paper off the whole family's names.
Right at the top was a date, in a grey-black colour. It was followed by a series of names, in blue. "Harry" was first, with Marcus directly underneath. A small heart lay between the names, also in grey-black - perhaps added later. Yvie's blue name was next, in very similar handwriting to Harry's. Willow followed, in a smaller print that clearly showed how much care she had taken to use her best handwriting. Linden's print was the opposite, taking up more space than any other name in a childish scrawl. Asher's toddler scribble was followed by a small "(Asher)", in either Yvie or Harry's writing.
It was a beautiful little glimpse into history, and Johanna felt privileged to see it.
"I sort of remember it now," Linden strained with the effort of finding the memory.
"You would have only been about four and a half," Marcus told her, wistfully. "Willow offered to write your name for you, but you insisted you could do it yourself!"
"And I did a great job!" Linden grinned, proudly pointing to her name.
"Her handwriting hasn't got much neater, has it, Johanna?" Marcus teased.
"Hey!" Linden laughed.
"No comment," Johanna eyed Linden with a smirk.
With all the names uncovered, Marcus suggested it was nearly time for a lunch break.
"Shall we have a little picnic?"
"Yes please!" both girls replied.
"Meet me in the garden in…" he paused to think, "about fifteen minutes."
"Okay! Thanks!" Linden said, as Marcus was already heading downstairs.
Linden, Marcus, Johanna and Betty ate a picnic lunch outside, with Johanna once again marvelling at every delicious mouthful, and happily accepting seconds.
By the end of the afternoon, the walls of the room were bare, and Johanna and Linden were exhausted. They flopped back on the dust sheet covering Linden's bed, and admired their hard work.
"We should write our names," Linden declared, suddenly sitting up, and looking around her room for a pen.
She had already found one and picked it up by the time Johanna rose herself into a sitting position.
"Are you allowed to write on the walls?" Johanna asked, feeling nervous about the idea.
"They did before," Linden shrugged.
"But you should ask Marcus," Johanna insisted, as Linden began writing the date a few inches to the right of the previous one.
Linden sighed, but in a friendly way, before shouting, "Marcus?"
"Yes, Peanut?" he called back from the kitchen.
"Can I sign the wall again?"
"Sure," He replied.
Linden flashed an ' I told you so ' smile at Johanna, then reminded her, "The paper will cover it up anyway!" before continuing to finish the date, followed by her name - much smaller and neater than the older signature, near her knee.
"Your turn," Linden smiled at Johanna, holding out the pen.
Tentatively, Johanna took it. Making such a permanent mark felt momentous. She half expected to spell her name wrong as she took the pen from Linden and reached up to sign her name below her friend's.
As Johanna finished, Betty walked into the room, announcing herself with a loud 'meow'.
"Oh, fine, you can have a go, too," Linden told the cat.
Johanna giggled as she handed the pen back to Linden, who promptly wrote "Betty" on the wall, followed by a small drawing of a paw print.
The end of the school year arrived too quickly. Johanna attributed the feeling to the time spent in Linden's company, in school, in the woods and at each others' houses. The time had been enjoyable, too. The girls had become close friends, and Johanna hadn't had any more run-ins with Olivia. She was happier and more relaxed, and was feeling the benefits at both school and home.
On the morning Linden was due to travel to the victor's village in the centre of the district, Johanna went to Harry and Marcus' house to say goodbye.
The girls sat on Linden's bed, with Betty curled up on the corner, pretending to nap.
"I have something for you," Johanna said, fishing in her pocket. "Close your eyes, and hold out your hand."
Linden let out a quiet giggle of anticipation as she followed the instructions.
Johanna placed a small, hand-carved wooden cat in Linden's outstretched hand and told her to open her eyes.
Linden gasped and turned the figurine over in her hand to get a better look at it.
"In case you miss Betty when you're away," Johanna explained, shyly.
"I love it!" Linden exclaimed, and threw her arms around Johanna. "Thank you! Did you carve it?"
"Yeah. My Mom helped - she's really good at that stuff."
"It looks just like her," Linden said, holding the wooden cat next to Betty. Betty glared at it, causing the girls to laugh.
"I got you something, too," Linden said. She also told Johanna to close her eyes and hold out her hands, then began to rummage under her bed. A moment later, she placed a box into Johanna's outstretched hands.
"Open your eyes," Linden instructed, and Johanna obeyed.
Johanna was holding a light blue box, labelled 'Letter Writing Set'.
She looked up at Linden, lost for words.
"So we can write to each other over summer," Linden explained.
With her eyes and mouth open wide, Johanna carefully opened the box. It contained a stack of pretty, light blue sheets of faintly lined paper, white envelopes, a small book of stamps, and a handwritten note containing Linden's mom's address.
"Thank you!" Johanna's voice was high with the effort of holding back her emotions. She let the lid of the box close, then leaned forward to give Linden a long hug. She was already planning her first letter: she would write it as soon as she got home.
"I'll miss you," she mumbled into Linden's hair.
"I'll miss you, too," Linden whispered back.
At the end of the Hunger Games, Johanna's parents had agreed to help her prepare for the next reaping, however best they could. A short while later, the three of them also decided they should discuss the matter with Justin, who was turning twelve in a few months, meaning he would attend his first reaping next year. He agreed with Johanna's thinking that preparing a plan just in case his name was called would make him feel less helpless about his first reaping.
While neither Johanna nor Justin were ready to concoct a specific plan until closer to the time, they decided they wanted to do as much as they could to prepare for the games - just in case. All throughout the summer holidays, Johanna and Justin went out on runs and hikes together in the good weather. On days when it was too hot or too rainy to go out, they began to study Granny's old book of edible and medicinal plants together. They also spent many hours throwing Johanna's axe in the backyard, working on their strength and aim - but mostly having fun. Granny, Jay and sometimes their parents all joined in with the activities at various points, helping out where they could, or simply enjoying a hike and some quality time together.
Johanna marvelled at the irony of it, one night. She had been so nervous, initially, to speak to her family about preparing for The Games. But now, after just a few weeks of learning about plants and axe throwing from her Granny and going on long walks with her family, they were closer than ever.
Towards the end of the summer, Justin and Johanna began to pick plants they thought they recognised from Granny's book on their hikes. Granny was very clear that they should only touch plants they were sure about, and both children obeyed. They brought various leaves and flowers home, and each one received a thorough inspection from Granny. Every single one was safe, and the children correctly identified almost all of them. They were always added to dinner, and it was always exciting and enjoyable to try them - even though most of them didn't taste particularly good.
One of Johanna's other main summer pastimes was writing letters to Linden. The mail service within District Seven usually took around three days, which meant Johanna and Linden each sent and received roughly one letter each week. But that didn't stop Johanna from excitedly checking through the mail every time she returned home. Her family began to gently tease her about it, but she didn't mind: she wasn't embarrassed to be excited to read about what her best friend had been up to far away in the centre of the district.
A few days before the end of the holidays, Johanna discovered most of her school clothes no longer fit. Neither did Justin's, nor Jay's. All three children had grown significantly taller over the summer, and the eldest two had also grown stronger from all their running and throwing. Granny insisted it was all the greens they'd been foraging and eating, and Johanna thought there might be some truth to her grandmother's suggestion.
Most of Johanna's school clothes were passed directly down to Justin, and Jay received some of his siblings' old clothes that had been stored away for a couple of years. The warm shirt Johanna had received for her birthday was almost a perfect fit now. Thankfully, the gifted shrunken t-shirt from Linden also fit her perfectly. A couple of her other larger items would just about do for a few more weeks. However, Johanna had to borrow a pair of her mother's pants for a while, until the Masons would have enough spare time and money to get Johanna something that would fit better.
Chapter 13: Reunited
Chapter Text
Linden didn't return to Weston until the day before school started. To Johanna's disappointment, this meant she didn't get to see her friend until the first day of High School. Aside from all the catching up they needed to do, Johanna was itching to get back in the woods. She was stronger and more capable after spending all summer building her endurance and working on her throwing, and she was desperate to test whether it would make it easier for her to learn new self-defence skills.
All the Weston Middle School students went to Weston High School, meaning the classes were pretty much the same. The new buildings and, eventually, their new work placements were really the only differences. So, after finding their way around the new school, Johanna and Linden immediately fell back into their old patterns: sitting together in every class they shared, spending their break time together, and trading their lunches. And as soon as their final class ended, the girls hurried out and headed straight to the woods.
It was as if no time had passed at all. The girls hung their bags in their usual tree, and immediately began to recap some attacks and defences.
"Shit, Mason!" Linden shook out her arm, smiling. She had raised her hand to defend a blow from Johanna, and had been surprised by the force.
"Sorry!" Johanna apologised, guiltily.
"No, it's fine!" Linden insisted, "I just wasn't expecting it! Did you lift weights all summer or something?"
"Nope - just a lot of running, and a lot of axe throwing," Johanna replied, grinning proudly.
"You're taller, too," Linden observed, standing up straight to measure herself against Johanna.
"Yeah," said Johanna, moving close to Linden to help her measure. "I'm half a centimetre taller than mom, now. These pants are hers. I outgrew most of mine."
"They look good," Linden replied, before quickly taking a step back and looking up at the trees. Johanna followed the other girl's gaze, searching for whatever had captured her attention. There wasn't anything up there, though.
"Wanna climb for a bit?" Johanna suggested, feeling drawn up into the branches.
"Sure," Linden agreed, and headed over to the nearest climbable tree without looking back.
There was something slightly off about Linden's behaviour, but Johanna couldn't put her finger on it.
As Linden pulled herself up into the tree, Johanna stayed on the ground for a while, instructing. Linden hadn't forgotten anything over the summer, either. It wasn't long before she was as high as a house.
"This one, and then up there?" Linden asked.
"It's a good path, but I think you should stop, Lin," Johanna called back. "We're supposed to be working smart, remember? You're already pretty high."
At that, Linden looked back down at Johanna for the first time in minutes. She immediately grasped hard at the branches, and focused on the branches she was holding.
"Fuck!" she swore, her voice wobbling with fear, "I didn't realise how high I was."
Even from her position on the ground, Johanna could see that Linden was visibly shaking.
"It's okay," she tried to sound calm. "It's not that high. Just come back down, the same way you went up."
"I know," Linden replied, her voice strained. "But… I can't."
"Of course you can!" Johanna encouraged.
Still shaking, Linden tentatively dangled one foot a few inches down. When it didn't find a hold, she quickly replaced it on its original branch.
"Shit!"
"You just have to stretch a little further than that," Johanna called up, feeling frustratingly helpless as she tried to encourage her friend.
Linden tried again, but failed again.
"I can't reach!" she called down, starting to panic.
"You can!" Johanna insisted.
"Not without letting go," Linden clarified.
It struck Johanna that, by not letting go, Linden was essentially refusing to actually climb. If her earnest encouragement wasn't really working, maybe a bit of the dark, sarcastic banter they'd developed before the summer might give Linden the confidence she needed.
"Yeah, that's kind of how climbing works," Johanna pointed out, gently teasing her friend.
"I take it all back - I didn't miss you at all," Linden fired back, sarcastically.
Johanna knew Linden was joking, and smiled. She took the quip as a sign that her plan was working. She decided to escalate the conversation.
"Okay, I'll just leave you there, then," Johanna teased, not taking her eyes off her terrified friend for a moment.
"Do you really wanna do high school without me, Mason?" Linden countered, her tone finally sounding a little less scared as she bantered back.
"Well, I am taller now," Johanna teased. "And I can punch pretty hard. So… Yeah, sure. I'll probably be fine. Byeeeee."
As Johanna spoke, Linden's foot managed to find the lower branch.
"You're gonna have to move faster than that if you wanna catch up," Johanna taunted - though, in truth, she hadn't moved an inch from her position.
Linden shuffled her hands lower, then extended another leg.
"Oh, I'm not worried," Linden replied, when she was steady. "We both know I can outrun you."
"I wouldn't be so sure," Johanna quipped back, keeping Linden distracted to help her feel less afraid.
"Is that a challenge?" Linden shot back, finally easing into the descent, finding a slow rhythm.
"Maybe," Johanna agreed, before immediately rethinking her response. She wasn't sure why she had said it: Linden didn't seem scared any more, and Johanna knew that she wasn't as fast as the other girl. She had just got too caught up in the banter, she supposed.
"Since when do you like losing?" Linden teased, descending another branch.
Now that she wasn't so scared for Linden, Johanna began to think of how she could win a chase. The answer came to her quickly: she just needed to climb a tree.
"Oh, I don't plan on losing," Johanna warned.
"Fine. Then, the first one to the middle school fence wins," Linden suggested.
Johanna had expected a chase, not a race. She was about to protest, when she thought better of it. She had run a lot over the summer, and she had a pretty decent head start. If climbing wasn't an option, then Johanna's quick thinking might serve her best.
"Okay! Three, two one, go!" Johanna said the numbers so quickly they didn't even sound like separate words, and began to sprint through the woods.
"Hey!" Linden complained from the tree.
In the near distance, Johanna could just about hear Linden scrabbling down the final few feet of the tree behind her, followed by the soft thud of her landing on the floor. She didn't waste any time looking back to gauge exactly how large her headstart was; she just had to trust her ears, and run.
Johanna found herself unexpectedly determined to win. Although she wasn't as fast as Linden on the flat, she was more practised on uneven ground. She heard Linden stumble a couple of times, allowing her to maintain her lead. When they reached the smoother, well-trodden path, however, the sound of Linden's quick, long strides quickly began to catch up behind Johanna.
For a few seconds, the girls ran almost side-by-side. Then, Linden began to pull ahead. Johanna was still filled with an unusually competitive spirit, and made a surprising snap decision. Before Linden moved completely out of reach, Johanna reached out a hand and grabbed her friend's shirt.
"Hey!" Linden complained again, half laughing, still running.
Johanna laughed, too. "You didn't say… I couldn't stop you," Johanna panted out between heavy breaths.
"In that case," Linden muttered, almost to herself. A split second later, Johanna realised Linden's plan too late: Linden had stepped into Johanna's path, and stopped as abruptly as possible. Johanna collided with Linden, stumbling as she bounced back a little off her braced friend. Linden quickly twisted to wrench herself free of Johanna's grip - but Johanna had figured out Linden's plan just quick enough to get hold of Linden with her other hand, before the other girl was able to start running again.
A struggle ensued, with Johanna again regaining her hold on Linden the moment Linden managed to break free.
"Oh, we're really playing dirty, huh?" Linden playfully asked, when her third escape attempt failed.
"This is all within the rules," Johanna retorted, with a mock innocence.
They continued with a few more attempts to escape, run, and drag the other back. Johanna suspected Linden was going easy on her: they'd only done a couple of hours of wrestling skills before, so Linden should have been easily able to take Johanna down if she wanted to.
"Not bad, Mason," Linden panted, finding herself blocked by Johanna again. "Ready to give up yet?"
"Nope," Johanna replied, before giving Linden a shove and making a break for it.
Linden caught Johanna before she'd taken two steps away, then swiped her legs from under her and let her fall - gently - to the ground. Johanna scrabbled to get up as fast as she could, but Linden was faster, quickly pinning her wrists with her hands, and her legs with her knees.
Johanna struggled for a moment, but barely moved an inch under Linden's comparatively expert hold. They were both still smiling from all the friendly banter as they breathed heavily from the exertion. The second Johanna surrendered and stopped trying to free herself, she became aware of how close their faces were. Linden's face was flushed from the effort of running and wrestling, and Johanna could feel that hers probably was, too. Her heartbeat was pounding in her ears, now that the sound of footsteps wasn't drowning it out. The girls stared into each other's eyes for a moment, sharing the unique kind of happiness Johanna hadn't felt for weeks.
"You have to teach me how to do that," Johanna eventually broke the silence.
Johanna thought she saw a brief flicker of fear and disappointment in Linden's expression. But it was gone so quickly, she couldn't be sure.
"So," Linden's smile was growing playful again, "Does this mean I win?"
"It's a draw," Johanna replied, still pinned still by her friend, "Neither of us made it to the fence."
Linden gazed down at her quietly for a moment, before reluctantly agreeing, "Fine. It's a draw."
She let go of Johanna's wrists, got up, then offered her hand to help Johanna up. Johanna took Linden's hand and quickly pulled herself onto her feet, finding herself face-to-face with the other girl for the third time that afternoon. Linden quickly dropped her gaze to the floor, let go of Johanna's hand, and began to dust herself off.
Johanna was sure of it now - there was something different about Linden. It was as if she kept getting distracted, or suddenly losing interest. If there was something wrong, Johanna wanted to know about it. She wanted to help, if she could. She at least wanted to understand.
She opted for a direct approach; it usually seemed to work best for them both.
"You're being kinda weird today," Johanna told Linden.
"I'm not!" Linden quickly defended.
"Even that was weird," Johanna pointed out. "What's up?"
Linden shifted uncomfortably, then stared down at her hands and began picking at her thumb. Johanna had never seen her friend look so tortured, and it worried her.
"It's nothing. I just… I keep thinking about something my sister said. She's such a bitch. She gets in my head, sometimes - just to annoy me."
"What did she say?" Johanna asked, gently.
"I don't want to talk about it," Linden replied, with an almost desperate urgency.
"Okay," Johanna assured her friend.
"Let's go back to our tree," Linden changed the topic, "And then we can spar a bit?"
"No - I wanna learn that wrestling thing you just did!" Johanna replied, happily letting Linden change the subject.
"Oh, you're not ready to learn that yet," Linden said, with an easy laugh. "I can teach you some other wrestling moves, though."
Chapter 14: Fall
Chapter Text
The next day, the new highschoolers received their first apprenticeship assignments. Johanna was devastated to discover that she and Linden would be working in different places: she was in the group of students heading out to the card factory, whereas Linden was assigned to one of the drying rooms associated with the paper mill.
The work placements took place on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, from 1-5 pm. Which meant they ate into Johanna and Linden's usual after-school time in the woods. The shifts weren't just late, either; they were also exhausting. Between the apprenticeship work and their new homework load, Johanna and Linden unfortunately found they rarely had time to go to the woods after school in their first term.
They still often visited each other's houses in the evenings, though. They fell into a pattern of doing their homework together until dinner, and then either throwing axes or playing cards at Johanna's house, or playing with the cat or learning a few fighting and wrestling moves at Linden's. And on the weekends, they would spend hours in the woods - whenever the weather allowed.
It didn't take the girls long to settle into their new routine, and they learned how to make the most of their training time. Their time together was peppered with increasingly dark, cutting banter, full of friendly love. Johanna rapidly built confidence and skill in wrestling, and Linden gradually worked out how to get the rotation of the axe just right so that it would reliably stick into the target. Every now and again, Linden would get a little awkward and change the topic again. Johanna asked about it a couple of times, and got the same vague explanation about Linden remembering something Willow had said. She wanted to know more, but didn't press Linden about it too hard.
At the end of term, Linden returned to the centre of the district to spend the winter break with her mother and siblings. The holiday was much shorter than the summer break, and Johanna was glad of it. She posted her first letter to Linden before the last day of school, so that it would be waiting when Linden arrived home. Johanna was almost bursting with excitement to tell Linden about the letter when they said their goodbyes, but she managed to keep it a secret.
Like in the summer, Johanna and her siblings spent much of their winter holiday with their grandmother, while their parents were working. Justin's birthday fell on the first day of the winter holiday, so their grandmother stayed for the evening, too. Johanna and her Granny hadn't spent as much time as usual together over the past few months; between Johanna's placements, after-school visits to Linden's house, and weekends in the woods, Johanna simply hadn't been home for most of Granny's visits. So, when Jay headed to bed and Justin began to work on his new puzzle book, Johanna's grandmother was keen to ask Johanna more about life at high school.
"That was your mother's first placement, too!" Mary told her granddaughter, excitedly, upon finding out that Johanna was working in the larger card factory. "She would come home on those days and go straight to bed after dinner, she was so tired."
"Mom, that happened about twice!" Johanna's mom corrected from behind her whittling project, rolling her eyes.
Johanna giggled.
"What about you, Johanna? Are they tiring you out?"
"A bit, yeah - but not so much that I go to bed at seven thirty," she assured her grandmother, while teasing her mom.
"Cheeky!" her mom playfully scolded.
"And what about your other work?" Mary continued.
"It's fine. There's a lot to do, but it's mostly easy," Johanna summarised.
"Easy! Oh, you've always been a clever one," Granny praised, beaming with pride. "Keep it up, squirrel! And what about friends? Have you made any new friends?"
Weston had just one middle school and one high school. So, while Johanna had new teachers and a slightly shorter walk to school now, every single one of her classmates was the same.
"Not really, Granny - it's all the same people," Johanna explained.
"Well, you get to meet some of the older children properly on the placements, don't you?"
"Yeah, but there's not much time to get to know people while we're working."
"Oh, I'll tell you, that didn't seem to stop your mother," Mary told Johanna, drawing another eye roll from Johanna's mom. "It was as if the moment she got to high school, she suddenly realised: boys existed. She'd be sitting next to a new boyfriend on the bus to the apprenticeship every other week."
"Johanna, don't listen to Granny-"
"It's true! You'd barely been in high school two weeks before you started talking nonstop about Robin Carpenter from the year above."
"Mom, please!" Johanna's mother protested.
"Well, that only lasted until just before winter, when he started sitting next to some other girl. But you moved on quickly, too. What was the next one's name? I don't remember…"
"Mom! We do not need to give Johanna a full list of everyone I sat next to on the apprenticeship bus!"
Johanna giggled again. She liked watching her grandmother tease her mother.
"Oh, it's nothing to be embarrassed about! John was the same, always talking about some girl or another from the minute he started high school."
"Or boy," Johanna's mother added. She had grown used to defending her brother to their mother over the years.
"Not in the first year," Mary reasoned. "You had almost finished school by the time he started talking about boys!"
Johanna's mother relaxed again. "To you, maybe," she joked.
"What about you, Johanna? Is there someone you like to sit next to on the bus?"
Mary looked pointedly at her granddaughter, waiting for an answer. In reply, Johanna scrunched up her nose in disgust.
"No!"
"Johanna is much cleverer than me: she's figured out that if she does homework on the bus, then she has more free time on her evenings and weekends."
"Well, I didn't figure it out," Johanna explained, "Some of the older kids sit at the front and do their homework. I just joined them."
"That definitely sounds very sensible," Mary told her granddaughter, proudly. "Maybe you'll make friends with some of those other sensible children?"
"They're nice enough, yeah," Johanna shrugged. She certainly had some acquaintances, now that Olivia's bullying seemed to have stopped. Linden was still her only real friend , though.
Granny was already eyeing Johanna's mother again, and Johanna prepared herself for more teasing.
"Doing your homework on the bus is certainly more sensible than getting caught kissing on the back seat."
"Mom! That was nearly thirty years ago!"
"The only time any of my children ever got detention," Mary told Johanna, with playful disapproval.
Johanna gasped and looked over at her mother in surprise. "Really?" she asked.
Johanna's mom sighed, then admitted, "Yes, it did happen - but only once! Because I learned from my mistake."
"Learned how not to get caught, more like," Mary countered, setting Johanna off into scandalised laughter.
Johanna's mom rolled her eyes again. "Perhaps we don't need to tell Jo about all of my teenage indiscretions today, mom? I don't want you giving her any ideas…"
"Oh, if she's anything like her mother, she's got plenty of her own ideas already," Mary retorted.
Johanna grimaced at the suggestion, and her grandmother laughed.
"Or, maybe next placement, when she's on the bus with some different boys…"
"Mom, that's enough," Johanna's mother interjected. "Not everyone is interested in sitting next to boys on the bus. Leave her alone."
"Okay," Mary agreed, holding up her hands. "What about your friend, Johanna? The one from your birthday?"
Johanna felt a momentary flicker of horrified, confusing jealousy at the thought of Linden sitting with someone else on the bus, until her grandmother continued, "Does she do her homework on the bus, too?"
"She's on the paper mill apprenticeship, so she doesn't get a bus," Johanna explained.
"Oh, that's a shame, that you aren't on the same placement," Mary commiserated.
"Maybe next placement," Johanna shrugged. "We both want to get on the tree felling placement - or, something like that, at least."
"Ah, you want to put your axe to good use?"
"Yeah!" Johanna nodded, keenly.
"And watch the boys swinging at trees?" Mary teased.
Johanna scrunched her nose up again. All the boys in her class had either bullied or ignored her for the last two years, and she had never been interested in any of them. Maybe her grandmother was right that she'd fall for one of the older boys on her next placement, just as her mother had. But if they were anything like the boys on her current placement, she doubted it.
"Mom!" Johanna's mother chided, "Stop!"
Chapter 15: Boys on the Bus
Chapter Text
Johanna was reading by the soft glow of her bedside lamp, when there was a gentle knock on her bedroom door.
"Jo?" her mom's voice softly called out.
"Yeah," Johanna quietly called back. Justin and Jay were asleep in Justin's room next door, and Granny had already gone to bed in Jay's room; it was too cold and dark to walk home this evening, so she was staying over.
Her mom padded into the room, wearing cosy slippers and the threadbare robe that she'd worn every winter of Johanna's life. Johanna shuffled towards the wall, creating space for her mother to sit in her usual spot on the edge of her bed.
"How are you doing?" asked Johanna's mother, folding one leg beneath her as she sat down.
She wasn't explicit about it, but she was asking how Johanna felt about Justin turning twelve. It was always a conflicting birthday in Panem, for both the twelve year old and their family. Johanna paused for a moment to think, then replied, honestly, "I'm okay. It's still months until the reaping, his name will only be in there six times, and he was preparing with me all summer. If he wants to learn more stuff, I'll go out with him more. But he'll be fine."
"When did you get so brave?" Johanna's mother asked, her voice a mixture of sadness and pride.
Johanna sensed that the question was rhetorical, but the answer sprang into her mind regardless. She decided to share it with her mother.
"I think it was when I met Linden."
"Oh yeah?"
Suddenly, in the safety of her warm bed and the low light, Johanna wanted to properly tell her mother everything that she'd been keeping from her family in the last two years.
"Do you remember Olivia, from kindergarten?"
Johanna's mom nodded, waiting for her daughter to continue.
"Two years ago, she… it's like she just suddenly hated me, for no reason. She was mean to me, a lot. Especially just before the reapings."
Johanna's mom nodded again, solemnly. She had certainly known something about it, despite Johanna's efforts to hide the bullying she had endured.
"When your hair got burned last year… was it really an accident?" Juniper asked, gently.
Johanna shook her head.
"Oh, Jo," her mom pulled her into a hug. "You really are brave, you know? Well done, for telling me."
"I don't know why I didn't tell you sooner," Johanna mumbled into her mother's shoulder. Guilt began trickling through her body.
"It's okay, don't think about that. The important thing is that you've told me now. We can talk about this properly in the morning, with your dad, and figure out what we'll say to the school-"
"No, mom. She's left me alone since the end of middle school. We don't need to do anything - I don't want to do anything."
Johanna's mother paused, clearly struggling with the idea of doing nothing. Eventually, she tentatively agreed. "Okay. If that's what you want, then we can leave it for now. But if anyone starts bullying you again, please tell us, Jo."
"I promise," Johanna agreed.
"You should never deal with things like that alone."
"I know. I just didn't want to worry you."
"Come here," said Johanna's mom, pulling her into another hug. "It's our job to worry about you! You never have to hide something from us just because you think it'll make us worried."
"I know," Johanna mumbled, feeling even guiltier. "I'm sorry."
"You don't need to be sorry," Johanna's mother said, gently holding her daughter's face and looking into her eyes. "But please, try to tell us sooner if it happens again."
Johanna nodded her agreement to her mom, then fidgeted and looked down. She felt silly, now, as well as guilty, that she had never told her parents about Olivia's bullying at the time.
"So," Johanna's mother prompted, directing her back to the start of the conversation, "You were telling me about when you think you became braver?"
Johanna looked back up at her mother and smiled, shaking off the guilt for now.
"Uh…" she considered how to start the story for a while, then began, "A few days before the reaping, Olivia and two of her friends were saying horrible things to me about it. Usually I just ignored her, but that morning they wouldn't give up, and eventually I said something horrible back to her. I know it was mean, but also, after all that time, it felt really good to just… snap. But then she snapped, too, and started to hurt me - until Linden showed up, and Olivia got scared of her, and ran away."
Johanna was deliberately cutting details - her mother didn't need to know exactly what Linden had done to scare Olivia.
"And she's pretty much left me alone since then. There were a couple more times, but I wasn't so scared of her any more. I stood up for myself, and got away from her. I think it got easier to stand up for myself, because I know Linden's got my back."
Johanna's mother beamed at her daughter.
"I'm so glad you feel confident again," she said, tucking Johanna's hair behind her ear. "If anyone ever tries to take that away from you again, you need to tell us. We'll stop them straight away."
"I will," Johanna nodded her agreement once more.
"There was another reason I popped in tonight," Johanna's mom continued.
Johanna looked up at her questioningly, waiting.
"I wanted to say, I'm sorry about what Granny kept saying this evening."
Johanna was confused. "About what?"
"About 'boys on the bus'," Johanna's mother impersonated Granny, making Johanna giggle.
"Oh. That ," Johanna said, unsure why her mother was bringing it up again.
"Granny's right that I became interested in some of the boys on my apprenticeships when I began high school. But she's wrong to assume it means you're the same."
"Yeah, she's definitely wrong," Johanna said, scrunching her nose up again at the thought of the boys on her placement.
"Oh?" Johanna's mother asked, gently.
"I don't like any of them!" Johanna confided in her mother, "Most of the boys on the bus are loud, and stupid, and they think they're funny but they're not. And the ones that aren't annoying are… way too old."
Johanna's mother chuckled.
"That wasn't -" she began, and then stopped herself. "Never mind. Just… I want you to know you don't need to find someone to kiss on the bus, okay?"
"Moooooom, I know!" Johanna replied, starting to feel slightly embarrassed.
"I'm serious, Jo. You'll probably want to, one day. Or you might not. But the important thing is to go at your own pace, okay? Don't let people like Granny put pressure on you to do anything you don't want to do, just because they think all the other kids are doing it."
"I know, mom!" Johanna said again, and rolled her eyes. "You've told me like five times before! I'm not gonna kiss any of the gross boys on the bus!"
"Okay, I believe you. But that's not what I'm saying, Jo," Johanna's mom persisted, gently.
Johanna sighed, then sarcastically corrected herself, "I'll only kiss the gross boys on the bus if I really want to."
Her mom laughed, a relieved laugh, "Exactly!"
"Can I go to sleep now? Or do we need to have another embarrassing conversation?" Johanna asked, cheekily.
Johanna's mom laughed again, then replied, "I'm all done for today, Jo. You can go to sleep."
She leaned forward and kissed Johanna on the forehead, then stood up so that Johanna could settle into bed.
"It's not easy being fourteen," her mom mused as Johanna slid into a comfortable position.
"Yeah," Johanna agreed.
"You know… you can talk to us - any of us - about anything," her mom said, tucking her in.
"Yeah, I know," Johanna replied, earnestly.
Johanna thought she could see suspicion in her mother's smile, and asked her, "What?"
"Nothing," her mom answered, shaking her head. "I love you, Johanna."
"Love you too, mom."
Johanna's mom leaned down to give her another kiss on the forehead, then turned off her lamp and whispered, "Goodnight."
Chapter 16: Winter
Chapter Text
The winter break was filled with family, fun and - with the new addition of Justin's tesserae - food. As the dark days crept by, Johanna found herself missing Linden considerably more than she had in summer. She wore the t-shirt Linden had gifted her until it began to smell, hurried to wash it, and put it back on again as soon as it was dry.
Johnana also regained her reputation as the family's mail enthusiast. She ran to the mailbox every time the mail was delivered, in the hope of finding a letter from Linden. Twice, she was rewarded with a neat, pretty envelope addressed in Linden's large, confident handwriting. She read both letters over and over again, before carefully storing them in the same box as the ones from summer.
On the first day back at school after the winter holidays, the high schoolers received their new apprenticeship assignments. Johanna was scheduled to work at the paper mill this time, and Linden was heading out to the card factory. They both chuckled dryly at the irony of effectively swapping placements. They were disappointed not to be on the same crew again, but Johanna didn't feel as sad as when their first assignments had been announced. She and Linen had still managed to spend plenty of time together in the fall, and she was confident winter would be the same.
"At least you don't have to get the bus again," Linden told Johanna as they headed to the school hall for lunch. It had grown too cold to eat outside now, and the warmth of the hall was just about worth dealing with all the teenaged chaos shoved inside.
"I didn't tell you about that whole thing, did I?" Johanna asked.
"No? What thing?"
"On Justin's birthday, when Dad was putting Jay to bed and Justin was playing with his gifts, Granny started talking about the buses to the apprenticeship placements, and how my mom once got detention for kissing a boy on the bus!"
Linden laughed, then asked, "Do people do that?!", letting her disgust slip into her tone.
"I mean, not that I saw," Johanna replied. "But I always sat near the front, so what happened at the back is anyone's guess."
"Ew," Linden grimaced.
They walked over to their usual spot in the hall, then sat together against the wall. The tables and chairs were unofficially reserved for the older students, and the girls didn't mind sitting on the floor: it's what they would have done outside, anyway.
"So, after that, Granny started asking if I was kissing boys on the bus, and saying that I might find a boyfriend on the new assignment, and… ugh, she just doesn't understand how gross they all are!"
"Maybe you'll find one on the walk to the paper factory, instead," Linden teased with a wink.
Johanna gave Linden's shoulder a playful shove. Linden laughed at her, and gave her a friendly shove back.
"I kind of got that shit from Willow in summer, too," Linden, admitted, before using a high, nasal voice to imitate Willow's questions, " Are there any nice boys at your new school? Aww, is that a letter from your boyfriend?"
"Ugh, I'm glad my brothers are both younger," Johanna commiserated.
"I mean, I just hit her the third or fourth time she said it," admitted Linden, with her usual sly, proud grin. "And you can't do that when they're younger!"
Johanna smirked, not believing Linden had never hit her younger brother.
"Really?"
"Well. Willow definitely doesn't think so," Linden conceded, smiling a little at the memory.
"She hit you?"
"Yeah, she hit me back, and a minute later mom caught us fighting, and it was a whole thing. Willow mostly stopped teasing about the letters after that, though. I think Mom threatened her that she'd have to spend the rest of summer with my uncles. She doesn't have any proper friends in Weston, so she'd get really bored if she had to stay here."
Johanna couldn't really understand how a physical fight was able to resolve the issue, but regardless, she was happy for Linden that Willow's teasing eventually stopped. Instead, Johanna tried to imagine what she would have done in Linden's position. The answer seemed obvious.
"Why didn't you just tell her the letters were from me?"
Linden hesitated for a long time, before shrugging and mumbling, "I don't know."
She was definitely hiding something. Johanna's directness had been steadily increasing ever since she'd met Linden, and she gave in to the urge to challenge her friend.
"You're a shit liar!" Johanna said, holding eye contact with Linden as she bit into her wrap.
"I'm not lying!"
"Liars always say that."
Linden sighed. She broke her flapjack in half, and handed one of the pieces to Johanna.
"It's just... kind of hard to explain. There's no stopping Willow when she's in that kind of mood. She'd just find some other way to tease me if I said the letters were from you. So, it was easier to just not say anything."
"... And hit her," Johanna teased, hoping to put Linden at ease with a bit of friendly banter.
"Exactly," Linden smiled, before taking a big bite of flapjack.
"I'm so glad I don't have a big sister," Johanna, following Linden's lead and quickly getting lost in the buttery, sweet oats lightly coating her tongue.
"You have no idea," Linden nodded.
Chapter 17: The victory tour
Chapter Text
Stirring up the horror of the Hunger Games so many months after the event itself, the Victory Tour was never usually a highlight of the winter. This year, however, Johanna found herself looking forward to it. Or, to be more precise, she wasn't looking forward to the tour itself - it was always a cold, tense, unpleasant affair. But she was looking forward to the journey to the centre of the district, and, most of all, to the evening after the event. Linden was staying in the victor's village with her mom for the night. And, exhilaratingly, Johanna had been invited to join them.
The journey to the victory tour event felt much faster than the journey to the reaping. Perhaps it was just because there was so much less to be nervous about. But also, perhaps it was because Johanna was sitting next to Linden on the train, learning all about the centre of the district and life in the victor's village.
By contrast, the tour event felt longer and more boring than usual. Johanna's fingers and toes grew numb in the cold drizzle, making her even more impatient for the dull speeches and edited footage reruns to be over.
With the exception of a few visits to her grandmother's or uncle's house, Johanna had never stayed the night anywhere else before. She had never stayed anywhere without her brothers, either. So, on top of everything else, she was buzzing with the excitement of having her first real sleepover, too - and in the victor's village, no less!
Her parents had been hesitant to agree to the plan: the idea of allowing Johanna to stay so far from home worried them. Johanna had politely and patiently insisted she was mature and responsible enough to spend a night away, as was Linden. Ultimately, Juniper and Arthur agreed with their daughter. After meeting Yvie again to be sure they were happy to leave Johanna in her care, they concluded Johanna should be allowed to experience life in the district centre for one night.
The second the victory tour event was over, Johanna threw her arms around her father in a goodbye hug.
"Take care, Johanna," he said, holding her tight. "We'll all miss you."
"I'll miss you, too!" she said into his coat, squeezing him back.
"Not too much, though," he warned, playfully, "You need to make sure you have fun, too!"
"I will," Johanna beamed up at her father. "I love you!"
"I love you, too," he said, before planting a warm kiss on her cold cheek.
"Make sure you look after her!" Arthur told Linden.
"Of course!" Linden promised.
Then, Johanna hoisted her bag onto her shoulder, said a quick, "Bye, Dad!", and followed her friend through the crowd to the town centre.
The girls had about an hour and a half before their curfew at sunset, and they didn't want to waste a second of it.
They moved as fast as they could through the dense crowds, but it wasn't easy. There were people everywhere, from all over the district - no doubt taking the opportunity to visit the centre for a while after the mandatory attendance at the victory tour event. Within a few minutes, the girls briefly lost each other in the crowd. When they snaked their way back to each other, Linden took a firm hold of Johanna's hand.
"We're not getting separated again," she explained, "Your dad would kill me if I lost you!"
Johanna laughed her agreement, enjoying the strong warmth of Linden's hand entwined with her own.
The time passed in a blur. Johanna stared up in awe at the magnificent buildings around her, all the time holding tight to Linden's hand, preventing the bustling crowd from separating them again. Linden pointed out various landmarks and other places she liked, and Johanna eagerly drank all the information in.
When the light started to disappear, Linden reluctantly began to lead Johanna towards the victor's village. The streets rapidly grew quieter, as fewer and fewer people walked in the direction Linden and Johanna were headed. Nevertheless, they continued holding hands for a while.
"If I let go of your hand, do you promise you won't get lost now?" Linden joked.
"No," Johanna sarcastically replied, without missing a beat.
It was only after the word left her lips that Johanna really thought about her answer. She wasn't sure at all why she'd said it. She obviously wouldn't get lost on a long, straight street with at most a dozen other people on it.
Linden obliged, keeping hold of Johanna's hand. She even began to gently swing it, in time with their feet. It was nice. It felt safe. Maybe that was why she'd said it: Johanna just didn't want Linden to let go.
All too soon, they reached the gate to the victor's village. Linden needed to use both hands to work the heavy lock, and the moment their fingers parted, Johanna missed Linden's touch. It was simple enough to distract herself from the feeling though, letting herself get lost in the magnificence of the houses lining the streets of the victor's village. She'd seen the village before, in pictures and glimpses on TV. But she'd never seen it in person.
"Come on!"
Linden was holding the gate open for Johanna, who had been too busy staring at the mansions to realise her friend was waiting. She hurried through the opening, past the thick, black bars separating the victors and their families from the rest of the district.
"Sorry," she apologised, still drinking in the sights around her. "It's just… wow."
"Don't be weird," Linden replied, in a friendly, lighthearted tone.
"But that's why we're friends!" Johanna playfully shot back.
The girls grinned at each other, acknowledging the truth of Johanna's joke.
Only three of the houses in the victor's village had any lights on. Linden led Johanna to the closest one, slipped her key into the shiny, black door, and opened it.
"Welcome to my mom's place," Linden said, standing aside and gesturing for Johanna to enter first.
The house was cosy and warm, despite the wintery chill outside. The polished wooden floor was decorated with colourful rugs. The pale walls were accented with bright artwork, which even to Johanna's untrained eye, looked expensive. There was a wide staircase ahead of them, and Johanna's eye was drawn to the bannister post, which was intricately carved to appear as if a cat was sitting atop it. Linden followed Johanna inside, closing the door behind her.
"It's amazing," Johanna whispered, in awe.
"Stop staring and take your shoes off, so I can show you around!" Linden giggled.
Johanna eagerly followed Linden's instruction, quickly removing her coat and boots. Then, as promised, Linden began a tour of the gigantic house.
They started in the living room, where they said a quick 'hello' to Yvie, Harry and Willow, who were playing a game Johanna didn't recognise in front of a huge, smouldering fireplace. Johanna had just enough time to take in a few notable elements of the room; the thick, heavy curtains that hung in a curve; the matching set of sofas and armchairs; the many shelves of books, games and other boxes she didn't recognise, before Linden was taking her through a different door to the next room.
"Dinner's in ten minutes," Yvie called after them, as Johanna followed Linden into a huge dining room. The dark curtains were shut, and when Linden flicked a switch, a soft, dim light glowed overhead. The long, dense table looked so solid, Johanna wouldn't have been surprised if it had somehow grown from the ground, and had the rest of the house built around it. Twelve identical heavy, carved chairs surrounded the table, at even intervals. The magnificence of the room was intimidating, and Johanna was both excited and nervous at the prospect of eating there later.
The girls walked through the room to yet another new door, leading to the kitchen. The brightness of the room was a stark but welcome contrast. The second thing Johanna noticed was the smell. Rich cheese, meat and tomato scent filled the room, emanating from a large, steaming dish resting on the side. Anticipatory saliva began to flood Johanna's mouth, and she swallowed. She was certainly looking forward to whatever they were eating later.
Aside from the food, Johanna also noticed more pots, pans and utensils than anyone could ever need, various gadgets she couldn't name, and a much smaller dining table, already laid with six places. She was relieved to realise they would be eating in the kitchen, rather than the large dining room.
Next, Linden showed Johanna to a basement full of sturdy, shiny gym equipment. Like so much of the rest of the house so far, the room looked simultaneously exciting and intimidating. Johanna was both disappointed and relieved they wouldn't have enough time to try it out before dinner.
After a very brief peek into a room which only contained a toilet and sink, and a vague gesture towards a guest bedroom and a study, the girls ran upstairs. The first room they encountered was a large, full bathroom, with a bold black and white tiled floor, a huge, white bathtub, a toilet, a sink, and another, smaller fireplace. Johanna was still in awe of everything she saw, and yet, in a strange way, was already growing used to the grandeur.
As they continued down the landing, Linden pointed out Asher's room, her mom's room, and another, smaller bathroom containing a toilet, shower and sink. She then paused outside the next room, grinned at Johanna, and announced, "And this is my room."
She swung open the heavy wooden door, and gestured for Johanna to enter first. Johanna had been wrong about getting used to the house. She gasped as she took in the sight. Linden's bed was at least as big as the one her parents shared. There was a thick, blue rug on the floor that swallowed Johanna's toes as she walked into the room. Linden's desk, wardrobe and drawers all matched: they were stained a dark brown and carved with an elegant swirling pattern. There were pictures and photographs on the walls, and a busy bookcase filled with books, toys, and the same unrecognisable little cases as downstairs.
"It's amazing," Johanna whispered, gazing around the room.
"Yeah, we're really lucky to live here," Linden agreed, with a confident, neutral modesty.
After a few more seconds to explore the room, Linden told Johanna, "We should wash up for dinner."
Johanna watched Linden cross the room and open another door, leading to a small room with a pristine, white toilet, a large, matching sink, and a mirror as wide as the sink. There were shelves to either side of the sink and mirror, filled with a semi-tidy array of soaps, cloths and brushes that were familiar, as well as bottles, gadgets and little paper packets Johanna didn't recognise.
Johanna could see her awe reflected in the mirror.
"Willow's room is through there," Linden explained, pointing to a closed door on the other side of the washroom.
There was plenty of room for the girls to wash their hands and faces together at the sink. Linden turned on the taps, and a strong stream of warm water flowed. The floral scent of the soap came as a strong surprise to Johanna at first. But, within seconds, she began to enjoy its strange smell, so different from the plain or pine-scented soaps at home.
When they were finished in the washroom, Linden and Johanna knocked for Asher, then headed downstairs for dinner.
Chapter 18: Sleepover: Dinner
Chapter Text
Just as Johanna had hoped, the six of them sat around the cosy kitchen table, rather than using the large, intimidating dining room. As she took her seat, the delight of the hot, rich food immediately took over Johanna's mind for a while. The way it looked, sounded and smelled were all incredible enough. But when the first steaming forkful hit her tongue, she became completely lost in the rich cheese and tomato flavour, perfectly entrenching every ridge of the beef and pasta.
"This is delicious," she said after her first bite, just about managing to remember her manners through the haze of her enjoyment.
"I'm glad you like it! It's one of Linden's favourites," Yvie said, smiling lovingly at her middle child.
"Mhm," Linden enthusiastically agreed, through a large mouthful of lasagne.
"And mine!" Asher added, quickly followed by Harry also echoing, "And mine!"
"What's it called, again?" asked Johanna.
After some pleasant chatter about lasagne, schools and apprenticeships, Linden changed the topic.
"Mom, there's something we've been meaning to ask you."
"Go on," Yvie replied, curiously.
"You know how you helped Chrissy and Dean and some of our other friends figure out a Games strategy…"
"Of course I can help Johanna," Yvie finished, with a kind, knowing smile.
Linden and Johanna both grinned, and then in unison said, "Thanks, mom!" and "Thank you!"
"It takes time to come up with a full plan, so we'll have to have a proper chat the next time I visit Weston," Yvie explained.
"That would be amazing, thank you!" Johanna's relief and excitement poured into her words.
"But to start off, just so I've got something to work with, can you give me a rough idea of some of your strengths?"
"Uhh…"
Johanna hadn't been prepared for the question. She wasn't sure she had any strengths. She quickly thought through some of the skills she'd been working on with Linden, in the hope of finding some answers.
Was running a strength of hers, now? Her running had certainly improved over the last few months, but that didn't necessarily mean she was a strong runner yet. Perhaps if she'd had a chance to measure her skills against the other children recently, she'd have a better sense of where to place herself on a scale. But the high school didn't have gym classes, because apprenticeship shifts were physical enough to cover the students' gym requirement.
Aside from running, Johanna suspected she might one day be able to count wrestling among her strengths. However, it was one of the most recent skills she'd begun to learn, so she was a long way off listing it as a strength to Yvie.
She had never used a weapon, except for throwing her axe. Perhaps axe-throwing was a strength, but she wasn't yet skilled at chopping with an axe, or using it for any… other purposes.
Casting the stomach-churning violent thoughts from her mind, Johanna considered non-physical skills. She didn't know anything about electricity, or making traps. She knew a few things about plants and cooking, but not yet enough for it to be a strength .
"Climbing," Linden prompted, when Johanna seemed to be failing to find an answer.
"No," Johanna instinctively pushed back, "I'm an average climber."
"You're really good!" Linden insisted.
"An average climber from Seven is a much better climber than tributes from most other districts," Yvie calmly, diplomatically explained.
Johanna paused. She hadn't thought of it from that perspective.
"You're better than me," Linden added, earnestly.
Johanna couldn't argue; climbing was one of the few things she could still beat Linden at. She gave an agreeable shrug as she accepted the fact she was probably considered a strong climber, in the context of the Hunger Games.
"She's a decent runner, too," Linden continued listing what she considered to be Johanna's strengths.
"I'm not as fast as you!" Johanna pushed back again.
"You are through the woods, though - faster, even, on the most difficult ground," Linden wasn't giving up.
"That's good, Johanna," Yvie encouraged. "In The Games, there aren't often many opportunities to run on open, smooth ground. You've seen enough arenas by now to know how the terrains tend to be. The ability to run fast over rubble, rocks, woodland, grass, sand… that's usually the most important skill."
"Okay," Johanna agreed, also accepting her position as a strong runner through woodland.
"And she's amazing at throwing an axe," Linden grinned, looking proudly at her friend.
Johanna blushed a little, and resisted temptation to downplay Linden's claim this time. She was much better at axe-throwing than Justin or Linden. And, applying Yvie's earlier logic regarding climbing, people from most other districts probably didn't get as much exposure to axes as district seven's children did.
"Far, hard, or accurate?" Yvie asked.
"All three," Linden answered quickly, before Johanna could make any attempt at humility.
"Really?" Yvie asked, developing a smile reminiscent of one of Linden's common expressions.
"My parents gave me an axe and target for my birthday," Johanna explained, feeling simultaneously shy and proud.
"Well, definitely keep working on that," Yvie smiled. "Anything else?"
Johanna shrugged and shook her head, surprised that they'd managed to come up with three strengths at all.
"Well, it's not really a strength yet," Linden added, "But she's been picking up wrestling really quickly."
Willow snorted a strange half-laugh, followed by the unmistakable sound of Linden kicking her sister under the table.
"Cut it out!" Yvie warned harshly, glaring at each of her daughters.
"I didn't do anything!" Willow complained, sounding much younger than her eighteen years.
"Hmm, just a whole summer of winding your sister up," Yvie retorted, in the tired tone of a parent who had had this conversation many times.
"What's going on?" Harry asked.
"Willow says-" Asher began to answer, but his mother cut him off.
"No thank you, Asher," Yvie gave another stern warning. "Your nieces can talk to you about it if they want to."
Johanna was intrigued, but could sense it wasn't the time to ask questions. The anger stewing in Linden's expression clearly showed she didn't want to talk about it. Johanna suspected it might be related to what Linden had said a couple of times before, about Willow 'getting in her head' about something. She would try to ask in private, later.
The sisters glared at each other, but Yvie ignored them, turning back to Johanna.
"Anything else?" she asked, gently. "What about special knowledge, or other skills?"
"I know some edible plants that grow in Weston - my Granny has been teaching us," Johanna told her.
"Excellent!" Yvie smiled. "Tributes are given advice on that sort of thing just before The Games, but it's difficult to learn very much in just a few days. And it can be very useful knowledge to have, depending on the arena."
"She's good with animals, too - Betty adores her," Harry added, giving Johanna a warm smile.
"And we know you're clever," Yvie muttered, her mind almost visibly churning through the information she'd collected. After a moment of quiet, she asked, "What about weaknesses?"
Johanna scoffed a little. That was a much easier list. "I don't know how to use any other weapons, I'm not as good at running as Linden says-"
"You can run for a long time, and you're faster than me on the forest floor - just not on flat ground," Linden argued.
"Yeah, I guess that's true," Johanna conceded.
Yvie quietly nodded at the girls, noting the information and encouraging them to continue.
"But I can't really fight," Johanna continued. "I'm small, I'm weak, I'm not a good actor, I sometimes… snap."
"Well, we're used to dealing with short tempers in this house," Yvie replied, pointedly looking at her daughters, lovingly.
They both wore the same half-guilty, half-smug smile. Johanna marvelled at how similar they sometimes looked, despite all their differences.
"You know, Johanna, you're actually not very small," Yvie said, looking her over. "My girls are quite tall, and you're only what… three or four inches shorter than Linden?"
"Yeah, I think you just got used to being one of the short kids," Linden backed up her mother. "You've grown a lot since we met. You're average height now, I think."
Their words took Johanna slightly by surprise. But a moment later, she accepted it was probably true. Though she had always thought of herself as one of the smaller children, she was an inch and a half taller than her mom, now. Also, in her new work placement, she had noticed that some of the other children struggled more than she did to reach the higher racks.
"Maybe, but compared to the other tributes…" Johanna said.
"The careers are usually quite big, yes, but there's always a range. People your size and smaller have won before, Johanna. Especially smart ones."
"So if I get reaped, I've gotta hope all the big kids are stupid?" Johanna joked.
Linden and Willow both chuckled, looking remarkably alike again.
"There's another weakness," Harry quietly pointed out. "Don't get me wrong - I love that dark, sarcastic sense of humour that you three all have," he waved his fork towards Willow, Linden and Johanna. "But that kind of attitude won't go down well in the Capitol."
"Yeah," Linden agreed, earnestly. From her serious expression, Johanna could tell it was something she had discussed with her mom before - probably many times.
"Well, that's been on almost all of their friends' lists," Yvie told Harry, lightheartedly. "I'm used to planning around that."
Once again, Linden and Willow both wore the same half-proud, half-sheepish expression. Johanna wondered whether the reason that they fought so often was, perhaps, that they were so similar.
"Anything else?" Yvie prompted.
There was a quiet pause around the table while Johanna and Linden thought, until they eventually shook their heads, no.
"Well, that gives me plenty to work with," Yvie smiled warmly at Johanna again. "I'll have a think, and we can talk the next time I visit Weston."
Chapter 19: Sleepover: Dishes
Chapter Text
After seconds of lasagne and a rich, sweet dessert of layered chocolate and ice cream, Linden offered to wash the dishes with Johanna.
"We'll have to invite you over more often, Johanna," Yvie joked, "I don't think I've ever heard Linden offer to do chores before!"
"She's definitely a good influence," Harry praised, making Johanna blush a little. "You should see them doing their homework after school!"
The others retired to the living room, and Linden and Johanna began to clear up. As happy as she was to be able to help out in return for her stay, Johanna also found Linden's offer surprising. She knew how keen Linden was to show her around properly, and washing the dishes would only delay things further. The heavy-handed way Linden was collecting the plates was a further indication that she wasn't pleased about the situation. But in that case, why had she offered?
"Why are we doing this?" Johanna gave into her curiosity.
"Because Willow's a bitch," Linden answered, thudding a stack of plates down next to the sink.
Johanna chuckled at Linden's crude yet cryptic phrasing. "What does that mean?" she probed further. "Is she blackmailing you or something?"
"Kinda," Linden replied, with a shrug.
"What? How? Why?" Johanna asked, hoping that she might be able to help her friend.
"She…," Linden paused, sighed, then started again. "She has this idea. You know earlier when mom said about her winding me up all summer? It's that."
"What idea?"
"I don't wanna get into it," Linden replied. "She's wrong, anyway. But that doesn't matter - she'll get in your head regardless."
"In my head?"
"Yeah, she might try."
It had taken Johanna a few moments to explicitly piece all the information together. It was sweet that Linden was worried about her, and even sweeter that she was clearing up after dinner to prevent whatever Willow had threatened.
Johanna and Linden didn't often deal in sincerities, though.
"Awwww," Johanna's overly sweet voice was intended to gently tease her friend, "Are you washing dishes to protect me from your evil sister?"
In response, Linden tried to hold a grumpy expression. But it quickly morphed into a reluctant grin, betraying her enjoyment. Instead, she resorted to flicking bubbles at Johanna. Johanna yelped in surprise, making them both laugh.
"Seriously, Lin, you don't need to protect me," Johanna insisted, wiping bubbles from her cheek.
"I know - and I'm not. I'm mostly protecting myself."
"If you say so," Johanna muttered, making it clear that she didn't fully believe Linden.
They washed the dishes in companionable silence for a while. Johanna couldn't stop thinking about what Linden had said about Willow getting in her head. It was even more evidence for her theory regarding the incident at dinner being connected to what Linden had mentioned a few times before. Was Willow still doing whatever it was Linden had mentioned after the summer holiday?
They were alone in the kitchen. Johanna let her curiosity get the better of them again.
"Do you remember on the first day of school, when you said about Willow getting in your head?" Johanna ventured, carefully.
"Uhhh, maybe?" Linden replied.
"In the woods. I said that you were being weird, and you said it was because you were thinking about something Willow had said?"
"Oh, uh, yeah…" Linden replied, doing a poor job of pretending to be casual about the matter.
"Is this thing you're protecting yourself from… is it the same thing?"
Linden was uncharacteristically shy now, struggling out a quiet, "Mhm."
Johanna was borderline horrified by the revelation.
"Linden! It's been months!"
"I know!"
"We have to do something about it!"
"Like what, Jo? I've already fought her a couple of times. Mom knows about it, too. The problem is, you can't really stop an idea, you know? All Willow has to do is look at me, and I know what she's suggesting. Big sisters are evil fucking bitches like that."
Johanna gave a sympathetic sigh. She handed Linden a wet plate, and concentrated as hard as she could on the predicament Linden had spelled out. They worked in silence again while Johanna's mind raced, firstly for a solution, and then just for something to say. But without more information - which Linden apparently didn't want to give - Johanna couldn't figure out a way to help her friend.
"Do you think there's any way I can help?" she eventually asked.
"Sure!" Linden answered, in a tone Johanna knew was about to be sarcastic, "You can wash these plates, and make sure you're never in a room alone with Willow."
When they finished cleaning up in the kitchen, Linden and Johanna agreed they were both still too full to go to the gym. Instead, they dropped into the living room, to tell Yvie they were heading up to Linden's room for the rest of the evening.
"Good night, girls," Harry wished them, before returning to his book.
"Lights out at eleven," Yvie's strong, commanding voice compelled Johanna to obey the instruction, "I'll knock before I go to bed. Do you need a hand setting up the spare bed?"
"No thanks, we're good!" Linden assured her mom, before quickly wishing both Yvie and Harry goodnight, and leading Johanna up the stairs.
Johanna was glad for Linden taking the lead. Between her own excitement and Linden's infectious confidence, she hadn't realised just how little attention she had been paying to the layout of the ginormous house. This time, she deliberately took note of the route to Linden's bedroom.
The girls decided it was best to set up Johanna's bed first. Linden dropped to her knees, reached under the frame of her own bed, and pulled a slightly smaller bed out from under it. Johanna helped to roll it fully out, raise it onto its legs, and make it up with sheets and blankets.
"You've really never had a sleepover before?" Linden asked, with her usual honest, open curiosity.
"Just at Granny's house," Johanna confirmed, barely feeling self-conscious at all in the comforting company of her friend.
"Well, then, we're doing this properly," Linden decided, with a grin. "First: pyjamas."
"Okay!" Johanna excitedly agreed.
Linden had already begun making her way towards a chest of drawers. So, Johanna followed suit, walking over to her bag to retrieve her own pyjamas. When she turned around, pyjamas in hand, Linden was already undressing. A surprised gasp escaped Johanna's lips without her permission, and she quickly turned around to face the wall.
Through the ringing of the embarrassment bruning through her face, Johanna heard Linden softly chuckle out, "Sorry!"
"Sorry," Johanna also mumbled, the temperature of her cheeks still increasing.
"Oh, no, it's my fault. At my old school, we always got ready for bed in our dorms, all together. I forget you're not used to that."
"It's okay," Johanna replied, desperately wishing to somehow become less flustered as she continued to stare at the wall.
"You can get changed in the washroom, if you want to," Linden suggested.
"Thanks."
Clutching her pyjamas tightly, Johanna immediately hurried into the washroom. She made sure to keep her gaze averted from Linden as she went.
"Damn, Mason," Linden's slightly raised voice reached the washroom with no trouble. "How did you handle gym class?"
All apologetic tinges had left Linden's tone, replaced by a familiar but gentle teasing. Johanna was grateful; the teasing would be easier to handle, and it was already helping her to shed her embarrassment.
The door to the washroom didn't have to be completely closed to serve as a decent barrier between them, so Johanna left it ajar, allowing their conversation to continue.
"It's different when there are lots of people!" Johanna defended herself.
"No, it's not!" Linden argued back.
"And the changing room at school didn't have anywhere else to go," Johanna added.
"So, you're saying… if there wasn't a washroom for you to run off to, you wouldn't have turned red?"
Acknowledging the awkwardness was both helpful and cringe-inducing, as well as giving Linden a reason to feel a little smug.
"Fuck off!" Johanna scoffed, barely suppressing her chuckle.
In reply, Linden just laughed.
Chapter 20: Sleepover: Magazines
Chapter Text
With Johanna's pull-out bed set up and the girls both dressed in their pyjamas, Linden told Johanna the next part of the sleepover plan: she was going to sneak into Willow's room to borrow some of her magazines.
"One of her friends in the capitol has been mailing them to her, and they're WILD," Linden explained. "You have to see them!"
Most of what Johanna knew about Willow was how cruel she was to Linden. Therefore, she was somewhat terrified of the older girl, and at the prospect of sneaking into her bedroom. However, she was intrigued by the capitol magazines, and wanted to do everything right on her first sleepover. So, Johanna volunteered to act as the lookout, while Linden quietly padded her way through the washroom and into Willow's bedroom.
Johanna held her breath as she watched the stairs, but there was no sign of anyone within the five seconds it took for Linden to run back into her room, holding two glossy magazines.
"Shhhh!" Linden giggled, despite Johanna not making a sound.
Johanna closed the door, and beckoned Johanna towards the bed.
"Isn't she going to realise they're gone?" Johanna whispered, nervously.
"Nah," Linden casually brushed off Johanna's concern. "She has like twenty of these. She's not gonna realise two are missing."
She pulled back the blankets, indicating for Johanna to climb into bed next to her. The girls settled against the soft padded headboard, with the blankets covering their legs. The magazines sat stacked one atop the other, pages gently drooping over their knees.
"So, this one is full of capitol fashion and news about famous peoples' lives," Linden explained, opening up the first magazine.
Johanna immediately recognised a small picture of Finnick among the handful of images on the page. He looked older than when she had last seen him on TV, but it was unmistakably him.
" 65th Victor breaks another heart ," read the headline under the picture.
Johanna pointed to it and asked, "Isn't he like, seventeen?"
"I think he's eighteen now," Linden corrected, drawing an adoring smile from Johanna, who still enjoyed hearing Linden's Hunger Games expertise, "But he would have been seventeen when this was printed, yeah."
Johanna shuddered at the idea of someone just a few years older than her "breaking hearts".
"He's always in these magazines," Linden continued, "Some Capitol people are obsessed with him. They tell the magazine writers stories about how they're in love with him, and what they do together and stuff. Mom says it's all fake, though: he has a girlfriend back in Four, and they've known each other since they were little kids. He's never wanted anyone else."
"Cute," Johanna mused, enjoying the idea that he had a secret, true love.
"They don't dare to print that kind of thing in the magazines, though," said Linden. "Half the Capitol wants to marry him!"
"So, is everything written in here fake?"
"Pretty much, yeah - but the Capitol citizens think it's real, and they love it."
"How do they think it's real?"
Linden shrugged, and guessed, "Maybe just because they read so much of it?"
After reading another few headlines, Johanna asked, "Does Willow think it's real?"
"Even she's not that stupid!" Linden laughed, "She just gets these for the fashion stuff - the pictures of clothes, and the news about music."
"Weird Capitol clothes?"
"Mhm - look!"
Linden flicked past a few pages, then landed on a large picture of two people wearing brightly coloured make-up, strangely shaped yellow dresses, and chunky, purple high-heeled boots that must have added at least ten inches to their heights.
"How do they walk?" Johanna asked, astounded by the outfits.
"It's the Capitol: they probably get carried!"
The girls chatted and giggled together as they flicked through the magazine, wondering aloud about how sweaty the material must be, or how difficult it must be for a model to move their arms in an extravagant jacket. Linden explained to Johanna about some of the Capitol's cosmetic surgery trends, and pointed out some of the alterations that people commonly made to their bodies. Johanna couldn't see the appeal of most of the procedures: as far as she was concerned, wrinkled skin was a sign of wisdom, whiskers belonged on cats, and the fake muscles looked so fake they were unnerving. On top of that, she was horrified at the idea of the unnecessary pain and resources that the surgeries required.
"Yeah, there's also a trend for 'natural' now, though. To look more like the victors," Linden explained. "There's a section…"
Linden flipped through a few more pages until she landed on a page where a model wore relatively neutral makeup, and an outfit based on that year's Games attire.
"She's so much prettier than the other models," Johanna commented.
"Yeah, I think so, too," Linden thoughtfully agreed.
"Him, too," Johanna said when Linden turned the page, "Or - not pretty, but… what's the word?"
"Attractive?" Linden suggested.
"Oh no!" Johanna realised, in horror. "We're doing exactly what my Granny said we would: talking about boys in our pyjamas!"
Linden gasped, joining in Johanna's mock horror, then overdramatically closed the magazine and dropped it onto the bed. Johanna laughed at her friend.
"We can't prove her right! Quick: talk about something else!" Linden continued.
Put on the spot, Johanna couldn't think of a single topic.
"...I don't know!"
"Anything!"
"Uhhhh…"
"Come on!"
Johanna looked around for inspiration, and was met with the photographs she'd noticed earlier.
"Okay - tell me about the people in the pictures?"
Linden smiled.
"You know stories about most of them," she said, relaxing back against the headboard again, "I've just never pointed them out in pictures before."
Johanna settled back again, and Linden began to point to some of the pictures, explaining who was who.
"And then over there," Linden said, twisting to face the other wall, "In the top photo, that's me and Arachne."
"The girl with the nightmares?" Johanna asked.
But Linden didn't get a chance to answer, because suddenly Willow had appeared in the doorway.
"The last girl Linden had in her bed, you mean?" Willow said, with an unfriendly, challenging expression.
"Willow, what the fuck?" Linden complained, launching a pillow at her sister, "Get OUT!"
Willow caught the soft weapon easily, as if she'd been expecting it.
"Oh, I thought we were allowed to just walk into each other's rooms whenever we liked?" Willow goaded.
"What? No!"
"Well, then, how is my magazine on your bed?" Willow asked, smugly.
She marched over to the bed, then deliberately squashed Linden's leg as she leaned over to pick up the magazines.
"I was just borrowing them!" Linden grumbled in defence.
"No," Willow's tone was patronising now, "When you borrow something, you ask. What you did is stealing ," Willow smacked her sister on the side of the head with the magazines, punctuating her point.
"Ow!" Linden yelled, raising her arms to protect her head from a second hit.
Johanna suspected the magazine to the head couldn't have hurt much; the paper wasn't particularly heavy, and Willow clearly hadn't put her full force behind the blow. Not to mention, Johanna had seen Linden easily shake off far worse hits when they were training together in the woods. So, why was Linden being so loud?
It took Johanna a second to realise that her siblings did the same thing; they overplayed their reactions to try to get the other in more trouble.
Willow hit her sister again, harder.
"Ow! Stop!" Linden protested.
But her protest only seemed to spur her sister on; Willow repeatedly hit Linden with the magazines, and Linden loudly complained. "Ow! Stop! Mom! Ow!"
"Girls!" Yvie called out a warning as her footsteps began ascending the stairs.
At the sound of her mother's voice, Willow stopped hitting Linden with the magazines and retreated back to her own bedroom, through the shared washroom.
"What's going on? Are you okay?" Yvie didn't sound too concerned as she entered Linden's bedroom.
"Willow came in and started hitting me with a magazine," Linden complained, gently rubbing the side of her head with a forlorn expression.
"Let's take a look," Yvie said, her voice dripping with so much sympathy Johanna began to wonder whether it was sarcastic.
"No, I'm okay," Linden assured her mother.
"Oh, no, Linden, you don't have to be brave in front of your friend!" Yvie insisted, definitely sounding sarcastic now. "After all that noise! You must be hurt! Should I get Harry to come and take a look?"
"Haha," Linden grumbled, clearly disappointed that her mother wasn't falling for her trick.
"So, Willow just walked in here and started hitting you with a magazine?" Yvie's voice was now full of suspicion..
"Yeah!" Linden corroborated.
"Only because she stole the magazines!" Willow insisted, reappearing in the washroom doorway. "They were on her bed!"
Yvie looked exasperatedly between her daughters, then threatened, "I'm going to nail the doors to that washroom shut if you two can't respect each other's privacy!"
"I just borrowed them-" Linden tried to defend herself, but Willow interrupted.
"Without asking! That's stealing!"
"Enough!" Yvie shouted.
Johanna watched on in wonder. Yvie's voice was so commanding, she was surprised Linden and Willow hadn't both cowered away from it. They must be used to it, she reasoned.
The sisters stopped talking over each other, but were still glaring viciously at one another across the room.
"The next person who goes into the other's room without permission is grounded for a month."
"Grounded?! Mom, I'm not a kid any more!" Willow protested.
"Then act like it!" Yvie retorted, with her own intense glare.
Willow grumbled a complaint, then stormed off to her room.
"And you know better, too," Yvie turned to Linden, who had now cast her eyes down, guiltily. "Leave your sister's things alone."
"Okay," Linden reluctantly agreed.
"And?" Yvie asked.
"I'll say sorry before bed," Linden promised.
"Good. And make sure you knock, before you go in," Yvie warned, sternly.
After a tense pause, Yvie brightened up, and turned to Johanna. "Sorry you had to see that, Johanna! Did you say you only have brothers? No sisters?"
"Yes, two younger brothers. They're twelve and nine," Johanna replied.
"You can have my sister if you want her," Linden grumbled.
Yvie rolled her eyes, and Johanna giggled. "You might not believe it, but they love each other really - when they're not beating each other up."
"My brothers are the same," Johanna sympathised - not that Justin and Jay were truly as bad as Linden and Willow.
"Ah, so you're used to this kind of thing?" Yvie smiled, warmly, as she prepared to leave.
"Sort of," Johanna shrugged.
"Well, I'll leave you to your sleepover," said Yvie, before giving Linden a final warning, "But if I hear you fighting with your sister again, I'm not joking about grounding you."
She waited for Linden to nod her understanding, reminded the girls lights out was at eleven, and left.
"There's no way sweet little Justin and Jay are even half as bad as Willow the Witch," Linden told Johanna.
Linden had certainly spent more time with Johanna's siblings than Johanna had with Linden's, and Johanna's first real impression of Willow hadn't exactly been favourable. But Linden wasn't entirely correct in her assessment, and Johanna wanted to give her a more accurate picture.
"Maybe not when you're around!" she agreed, "But look at this."
Johanna turned around, then began to lift her shirt.
"I thought you were shy," Linden teased.
"Fuck off," Johanna shot back again, drawing a satisfied giggle from Linden.
She showed Linden three small, parallel scars, just below her shoulder blade.
"Ouch," said Linden, with a grimace.
Johanna felt Linden's cool fingertips dance delicately over her skin. The gesture should have been soothing - and in a way, it was. But it also triggered a mild sense of panic within her, sending her heart racing. It didn't make sense: the scars were years old.
Suddenly, Johanna couldn't stand the silence in the room.
"Justin scratched me in a fight when I was nine - really deep," Johanna explained, because she needed the silence to end.
"How did you get him back for that?"
"I didn't," Johanna shrugged, letting her shirt fall back down. "He was only seven."
"I wish my big sister thought like that!" Linden was already beginning to pull down the edge of her pyjama pants. She proceeded to show Johanna a total of five scars inflicted by her older sister, telling a quick story about each one. Johanna's eyes followed the map Linden was making, intently. She didn't focus on a single detail about the stories, though. By the time Linden dropped her hair to re-cover the inch-long scar behind her ear, Johanna's mouth felt dry.
"Are you okay?" Linden's voice was full of concern. "You look weird. Are you scared of scars or something?"
"No, I'm not scared. I just… felt weird for a second."
"Shall I get Harry?" Linden asked, already getting up from the bed.
"No, I'm okay," Johanna insisted.
"Do you want some water?"
Johanna didn't feel thirsty, but she thought water might help settle her head, anyway.
"Yes, please," said Johanna, her voice high and small.
Johanna watched Linden hurry to the washroom, and quickly return carrying a glass of water. She handed it to Johanna, who thanked Linden, and immediately took a few sips. Within seconds, she felt better. She handed the half-empty glass back to Linden, who put it on the bedside table, next to the tiny carved cat Johanna had given her before summer.
It was the first time Johanna had noticed the figure. A proud warmth swelled within her, and a broad smile swept over her face.
"Aww, you kept it?" she pointed at the cat.
"Of course! She reminds me of Betty. And of you."
It was exactly what Johanna had hoped for, all those months ago, when she had come up with the idea to carve the gift. A happy sense of relief mixed in with her other emotions.
Something Johanna hadn't hoped for, though - or even anticipated at all, actually - was the pink flush that appeared on Linden's cheeks. Why was Linden embarrassed about the cat? Some kind of gut instinct told Johannanot to pry. So, she simply said, "I'm glad you like it."
"How do you feel now?" Linden asked, still looking concerned about Johanna's funny turn.
"Better," Johanna said, decisively.
"Good! Let me know if you need anything though, okay? More water, or fresh air, or I can get Harry…"
"Lin, I'm fine!" Johanna insisted with a warm smile.
For a moment, the girls rested in companionable silence. Then, Johanna remembered where they were, before Willow had interrupted.
"Can you finish telling me about the pictures?" Johanna asked.
"Sure!"
The girls settled against the headboard again, and Linden resumed.
"That's Arachne, who… yes, she used to sleep in my bed a lot at school, because it helped with her nightmares."
"And Willow teases you about it?" Johanna asked.
"Yeah, but Willow teases me about everything," said Linden, rolling her eyes. "As long as I don't let her get in my head, it's fine."
Before Johanna settled on a reply, Linden continued, almost urgently, "A lot of girls slept together at school, it wasn't weird or anything!"
"I don't think it's weird," Johanna assured her friend.
"I was just helping her. Arachne used to say sleeping with me made her feel safe."
"That makes sense," Johanna agreed, slightly trailing off towards the end as her shyness caught up with her.
"Does it? Why?"
Johanna could feel her own cheeks reddening now. It was much easier to deal in jokes and banter than it was to give her friend an honest compliment. She wanted to be honest, though. So, she steeled herself a little, and then explained.
"Well, you know what school was like for me, before I met you. I felt - I feel - a lot safer with you around."
The heartfelt authenticity took Linden by surprise. For a moment, Johanna feared Linden might respond with a joke. But, she didn't.
"I'm glad I could help," Linden smiled shyly back at Johanna.
An almost-awkward pause ensued, lingering after the sentimental moment. Johanna took it upon herself to break the tension.
"Ugh, are sleepovers always like this?"
"Oh, we haven't even turned the lights out yet," Linden warned, playfully, " That's when the conversations get reeeeally deep."
Chapter 21: Sleepover: Would you Rather?
Chapter Text
A few minutes before lights out, Linden told Johanna she was going to apologise to Willow. She suggested Johanna could use the washroom to get ready for bed while she spoke with her sister. So, the girls headed to the washroom together, and Linden knocked gently on the door to her sister's room.
"Willow, can I come in?"
There was a tense moment of quiet, followed by the sound of the door unlocking. Willow opened the door. She glared at Linden, but not with nearly as much malice as earlier. Then, she gestured for Linden to enter her room.
Johanna heard Linden begin, "I'm sorry for going into your room-", before Willow closed the door behind her.
Johanna was excited to use the warm water and floral soap again. She was almost mesmerised by the flow, holding her fingers in it for a while, before beginning to wash her face. When she was done, she shut the water off again, and she realised she could still hear the muffled conversation from Willow's room.
"...sorry for barging in on you, and embarrassing you in front of Johanna. I'm gonna stop with all the teasing about that."
"Whatever," Linden made her disbelief clear.
"I'm serious," Willow insisted. "Harry came in half an hour ago and said a load of stuff that I'd never thought about and… I'm really sorry. I'm not gonna do that again. Making friends in a new school where everyone already knows each other must be difficult, and I hadn't really thought about how scary that must have been for you. It was really mean for me to make fun of the only friendship you've made at your new school. I'm sorry."
The conversation went quiet. Sensing that the sisters were finishing up, Johanna began to clean her teeth. She shouldn't have been eavesdropping, anyway. She let the sound of the brushing drown out Linden and Willow's voices. But, once again, when she was finished, Johanna unintentionally tuned right back into the conversation.
"...gonna back off with all the crush jokes, too. Sometimes I forget how horrible it was to be your age. You don't need me making it any worse."
There was another quiet pause, and Johanna was just about to leave the room when she heard Linden speak again.
"Willow, can I tell you something?"
Suddenly, Johanna was overcome with intrigue. Without consciously thinking about it, she moved closer to the door to be able to hear Linden's quiet admission.
"I'm not sure, but… I think you might be right."
Despite not knowing what Linden meant, Johanna felt an immediate rush of guilt for listening in to the sisters' private conversation. She began to hurry out of the washroom, away from the temptation of listening to any more of what they were saying.
However, Willow's reply was loud enough that Johanna heard it anyway.
After a gentle, kind, laugh, Willow declared, "Of course I'm right, brainless!"
By the time Linden returned from the washroom, Johanna was tucked up in the pull-out bed.
"How did it go?" Johanna asked.
"We're good," Linden replied, casually.
She was just climbing into her bed when Yvie knocked. She checked with Linden that the sisters had made up, and Linden assured her mother they had. Then, Yvie checked Johanna was comfortable on the fold-out bed, and offered her more blankets, before wishing the girls goodnight and turning the light off.
"Are you sleepy yet?" Linden whispered to Johanna in the dark.
"No!" Johanna whispered back.
"Wanna play a game?"
"Okay!"
Simultaneously, the girls both sat half way up in their beds. Linden explained the rules of Would you Rather , and they proceeded to take turns asking increasingly disgusting questions.
"Would you rather poop a bit every time you sneeze, or wee a bit every time you laugh?"
"Ewwww," Johanna laughed, quietly.
"Minthe always used to ask stuff like that at school. Poop-sneeze, or pee-laugh?"
After a lengthy debate about the answer, and finally agreeing to disagree, the next few questions took on a Hunger Games theme: would you rather be in an arena with no food but lots of weapons, or no weapons but lots of food? Would you rather sleep in a tree or in a den?
"Would you rather," Linden began, pausing for a moment before continuing, "Kiss…"
"Ew!" Johanna whispered again.
"Finnick, or Gaius," Linden finished.
They giggled together for a moment, before Johanna began to think aloud.
"Well, Finnick has a girlfriend…"
"That doesn't matter - pretend he doesn't. They're both there, and they both want to kiss you. Which one would you rather?"
"Neither!" Johanna giggled.
"But that's -" Linden began.
"The game," Johanna joined in. Linden had already said it three or four times now, and Johanna was beginning to get used to it.
"What happens if I don't?" Johanna pushed.
Linden had come up with some highly imaginative and entertaining scenarios to force a decision for the previous questions, and Johanna enjoyed hearing them.
"Hmmmm. Okay. You know how in fairy stories, where a kiss before sunset breaks a curse?"
"Yeah…"
"So, imagine I've been cursed, and the curse is making me walk to the edge of a cliff, and I can't stop. I've shouted for help, and you, Finnick and Gaius have all rushed over to try to stop it. But even when all of you are holding on to me, my feet keep walking to the edge. I'll get the right after sunset - unless there's a kiss, to break the curse."
It was another ridiculous, elaborate scenario, and Johanna enjoyed the storytelling. Also, through some of the other stories, Johanna had managed to find loopholes. She began to think through the rules, and quickly found a way to bend them: surely any kiss would do?
"Why can't they kiss each other?" Johanna tried, "Or you?"
"That's just what the evil fairy decided, when he cursed me," Linden insisted. "The only way to break the curse is for you to kiss someone on the clifftop."
Someone on the clifftop.
Instinctively, Johanna knew exactly who her preference would be.
She hadn't been prepared for the realisation.
Her heartbeat quickened in her chest, and she swallowed hard. She was glad the room was dark enough to hide the inevitable, flustered blush on her cheeks.
Eventually, after an indeterminate amount of time, she pulled herself together enough to continue with the game.
"But why would I have to kiss one of them to break your curse?" she asked, hoping she sounded normal, despite the way her stomach was flipping.
"Just play!" Linden insisted, sounding slightly annoyed now.
Practically every teenager in Panem wanted to kiss Finnick. Johanna should have just said his name from the start. If she had, her mind wouldn't currently be swimming in a confusing mixture of panic and excitement.
"Finnick," she stuttered out. "What about you?"
"Same," Linden agreed, with far more ease than Johanna.
Johanna felt the urge to keep talking. She didn't want any quiet to descend: it might allow her thoughts to take over.
"It's weird to think that he's, like, the same age as Willow."
"He's actually younger than Willow," Linden casually corrected, "Only by a few months, really - but she's a reaping year older than him."
"How does a fourteen year old even end up being allowed to volunteer in a career district?" Johanna wondered.
"Well, Four is only kind-of a career district," Linden answered, as if it should have been obvious.
"What do you mean?"
"So, you know One and Two are really close to the capitol, and they have their training academies?"
"Yeah, and the academies decide who's allowed to volunteer."
"Exactly. And it's pretty much only ever seventeen and eighteen year olds who are allowed to volunteer. But in Four… they don't really have academies - not like One and Two. The kids from Four are strong, though, from swimming their whole lives. So, after the tenth Games - "
"The first real Games," Johanna interjected. She'd learned a lot of Games history from Linden over the last few months, and she liked to impress her friend by showing off what she'd remembered.
"Right. So, the eleventh and the… fourteenth or fifteenth Games were won by District Four. That gave Four an early advantage: the prizes brought back by the victors meant the district became a bit wealthier, and the kids had a bit more food. The victors - with no need to go to school or work, because of their prize money and houses - began to help local kids train for the games. They established a sort-of academy years later. But it's not the same as in One or Two. In One and Two, there's a lot of attention on the candidates - it's a big, shiny show, a bit like the Hunger Games. In Four, it's more like… soldiers doing their duty to protect the other children in the district. So, if a kid from outside the academy gets reaped in Four, then an academy kid will volunteer in their place. But if an academy kid gets reaped… Well, there's no sense in a soldier taking the place of another soldier. It's kind of rude, even."
"Oh," was all Johanna could stutter out.
"Yeah. Finnick didn't volunteer. He was supposed to have four years more training. In fact, it should be his year this year-"
The conversation was interrupted by a loud crashing noise outside.
Chapter 22: Sleepover: Homesick
Chapter Text
"What's that?!" Johanna gasped, scared by the unfamiliar, loud noise more than anything.
"It's probably Blight, drunk again," Linden answered, casually enough to put Johanna at ease.
Johanna recognised the name: Blight was District Seven's most recent victor. And, as a victor, he must be a neighbour to the Coopers.
"He sometimes does some pretty funny stuff," Linden said, pushing her blankets back and shuffling out of her bed. She softly padded over to the window, and told Johanna to, "Come on!"
Linden pulled back a corner of the curtain, and the girls huddled together to peer through the gap, out into the street.
"There!" Linden said, pointing to a figure wearing pyjamas, boots, and a furry hat.
The figure drank from a bottle, then dropped it to the floor. It bounced and rolled, before stopping in the gutter. Then, the figure began to climb the outside of the nearest house.
"Ugh, not again," Linden sighed. "I'm fetching Mom."
She hurried from the room. Johanna couldn't take her eyes off the sight of the pyjama-clad man confidently scaling the side of the building. Fragments of Linden's conversation with her mother travelled down the corridor as Blight climbed.
"Blight… Again."
"Well done for… back to bed."
A few seconds later, Linden returned.
"She's gonna go fetch him," Linden whispered to Johanna as she returned to the room. "We're not supposed to watch."
Johanna pulled her eyes away from the gripping scene outside, and let the curtain fall. Following Linden's instructions, she began to return to bed - but Linden swooped in beside her, wrapped her arm around Johanna's shoulder, and pulled the curtain back again.
"Do you always do what you're supposed to?" Linden whispered with a giggle.
"Apparently not," Johanna retorted.
She leaned against her friend, so they could both see out of the tiny gap in the curtain. A moment later, they heard the sound of the front door opening and closing. Then, Yvie and Harry appeared in the street.
Johanna's back was pressed against Linden's chest. She could feel Linden's heart beating just as hard and fast as her own as they watched the tense scene outside. Eventually, Blight began to climb back down the building, with the others spotting him. When he safely reached the ground, Yvie pulled him into a tight embrace, and practically dragged him back towards the house.
Once her mother moved out of sight, Linden let the curtain drop. The girls shuffled apart as they began to head back to their beds. Johanna immediately missed Linden's warmth, and shivered.
"Are you okay?" Linden asked, with genuine concern, "You're shaking like a leaf!"
Johanna was mildly offended by the question, and the implication that she was as small or pathetic as a trembling leaf.
"What? Yeah, I'm just cold!"
"Are you sure? It was kind of scary."
Johanna quickly climbed back into her bed, and snuggled under the blankets.
"I'm just about tough enough to watch a drunk man climb a wall, Lin," she replied, dryly.
Linden scoffed. Despite the darkness, Johanna knew her friend was rolling her eyes. She was just waiting to hear what witty, cutting retort Linden would come up with, when there was a sudden, loud thud from downstairs. Johanna jumped, and Linden giggled.
"Are you sure you're sure?" she teased.
Johanna resorted to her usual response to Linden's teasing, and playfully told her friend to, "Fuck off!"
"Do you wanna go to sleep now?" Linden asked.
It had to be well past midnight, and the girls should have been asleep a while ago. But between Johanna's excitement about the sleepover and the muffled noises from downstairs, she wasn't feeling very sleepy.
"I don't think I can, yet," she replied.
"I knew you were scared!" Linden teased again.
"I'm not!" Johanna protested, "It's just we literally just got back to bed, and all the unusual noises here, and the sheets smell different…"
"Are you homesick?" Linden asked, her tone suddenly gentle and caring, with all traces of her teasing gone.
Johanna had never heard the term before. She was too tired to work it out. So, instead, she asked.
"What's homesick?"
"When kids first start at boarding school, or sometimes even just after the holidays, they miss stuff from home - people, things, sounds, smells."
Johanna registered the pointed notes in Linden's voice at the final two words.
"And it makes them upset, and they sometimes have trouble eating and sleeping and stuff. That's homesickness."
Johanna didn't feel upset. She hadn't thought about home for hours, until Linden had just brought it up. They were going back to Weston tomorrow: one night wasn't enough time to really miss her family, her room, the familiar feeling of her house. But, then again, Linden clearly knew more about homesickness than Johanna did.
"I don't know. I don't think I am," Johanna answered, truthfully. "I'm not upset or anything. How do they treat it?"
Linden laughed. "It's not that kind of sickness! It just gets better over time. And until then, your friends take care of you. Sleep in with you, and stuff."
"Does that help?" Johanna asked.
"Yeah, it helped most people," Linden answered. "Do you wanna try?"
She did. Not to cure her possible, mild, homesickness, of course. But Johanna wasn't sure if she had ever wanted anything more than to slip into the warmth of Linden's bed.
"Okay," Johanna agreed, trying to sound as neutral as possible.
As Johanna slid into the cosy space next to Linden, she felt Linden's arm snake around her shoulders again. There was a brief moment where they both moved around to find a comfortable position, and then, they settled.
Linden lay on her back, and Johanna curled against her side, resting her head on the bigger girl's chest. This time, as well as feeling it, she could hear Linden's heart racing as fast as her own. Linden wrapped a strong, gentle arm around Johanna's shoulders. Arachne was right: this did feel safe. Johanna couldn't imagine having any trouble at all sleeping in Linden's arms.
"Any better?" Linden asked.
"Yeah," Johanna nodded, "Thanks."
Linden gave Johanna's arm a gentle, reassuring squeeze. Then, both girls flinched at the sound of another bang downstairs. Hushed, undecipherable voices followed.
"So, I guess we still can't sleep," Linden whispered.
"Does this happen a lot?" Johanna asked.
"At least twice, in summer. Mom says he finds mentoring really difficult. So, he drinks, to forget all about it."
"But he's not mentoring anyone now," Johanna pointed out.
"Mom says you never really escape the Games."
Every district child of reaping age felt the constant looming threat of their name being drawn, so Johanna could sympathise with the idea of the Games feeling inescapable. She'd spent a few sleepless nights plagued by thoughts of how horrible it must be, to be taken from your home, made to fight, and most likely die as a result. She had also thought of the impact it would have on her family, and, more recently, of how she would be affected if Justin's name was called. But the victors of the games, who had to return periodically - or, in Yvie's case, every year - to the capitol, in order to mentor a pair of children to their probable deaths, must also suffer significantly throughout the Games, too. Briefly, she imagined how hard it must be, to mentor tributes, hoping to help them to victory, but largely feeling helpless against the deadly Games.
"Plus," Linden interrupted Johanna's thoughts, her tone indicating she was ready to lighten the mood, "We were all just at the victory tour this afternoon, brainless!"
Johanna felt slightly silly for not making the connection before. Blight had just spent the day on stage, being made to relive the Games while looking into the eyes of the families of the tributes he hadn't been able to save. Of course he would find today difficult.
To deflect from the mild embarrassment she felt about her ignorance, Johanna decided to return to a bit of banter. Knowing it would annoy Linden to be compared to her sister, in response to the comment, she told her friend, "You sound like Willow!"
In her haste, Johanna hadn't accounted for the fact that she wasn't supposed to have heard the term of endearment-slash-insult. She wasn't supposed to know "brainless" was something Willow said. She realised her mistake just as Linden quizzically began to ask, "How do you know she calls me that?"
Chapter 23: Sleepover: Brainless
Chapter Text
Johanna couldn't believe she had slipped up so badly. Clearly, she was the one who was brainless! The longer the silence stretched out in the darkness, the closer Linden grew to realising how Johanna had overheard the word. Why hadn't she thought before opening her mouth!?
The guilt was building rapidly. With every passing moment, the chance of Linden overlooking the comment was decreasing. There was nothing else to do about it: Johanna had to confess.
"I, uh, overheard her saying it earlier - when I was in the washroom," she admitted. She was glad, at least, of the darkness hiding her ashamed expression.
"Oh."
Even in just that one syllable, Johanna could hear Linden's fear. Even if she hadn't, from her position against Linden's chest, she would have been able to hear the other girl's increasing heartbeat.
It suddenly felt wrong, now, to be taking comfort from Linden's arms, in light of Johanna's indiscretion.
"Sorry," Johanna apologised, shuffling upright.
"What else did you hear?" There was still a strong current of fear in Linden's voice, despite her attempt to keep it measured.
They were both sitting up now, no longer quite touching. It made the situation feel even more serious. As hard as it was, Johanna had to tell the truth.
"Uh, a few things - but only when I wasn't running the water or cleaning my teeth or making some other noise."
"Okay, but what?" Linden pushed.
"I heard her apologise for teasing you about me being your friend, and also for teasing you about a crush…"
The tension in Linden's body increased.
"I'm sorry, Lin, I should have gone back to your room or something," Johanna apologised again.
"Did you hear anything else?" Linden checked, nervously.
"Uh," it was harder than Johanna wanted it to be to tell Linden the truth. She practically had to dare herself to get the words out, and ended up speaking so quickly she wasn't sure Linden would even understand the sentence. "I think I heard you say you think you have a crush on someone."
The silence that followed was agonising.
"I'm really sorry," Johanna whispered into the darkness.
"Is that all you heard?"
"Yeah," Johanna assured her friend. "And don't worry, you don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to."
A subtle shift in the mattress indicated that Linden had relaxed slightly. The air around them was still tense, though.
After a few more seconds of torturous silence, Johanna realised something.
"Ugh," she said, hoping to break the tension, "We've done it again, Linden."
"What have we done?"
"This is exactly what Granny said we'd be doing!"
Linden laughed, relaxing further. In turn, Johanna relaxed, too.
"What? Spying on each other?" Linden teased.
Johanna didn't like being accused of spying, but she brushed it off.
"No!" Johanna clarified, through her relieved smile, "Talking about crushes."
"I know, brainless!" Linden replied, with another chuckle.
The use of the word signalled the end of the difficult situation; Johanna was forgiven. After a few more moments of relieved chatter and laughter, the chill around their shoulders led the girls back under the covers, once again taking warmth and comfort from each other in an embrace.
"Well, go on then," Linden said, once they were settled.
"Go on then what?"
"We'd better not disappoint your Granny. Who's your crush?"
Despite the jokey delivery, there was definitely a note of curiosity in Linden's question. Johanna nudged Linden with her foot, drawing a laugh that was more like a quiet cackle.
"Seriously!?" Johanna's disbelief was also somewhat tinged with intrigue. She wanted to have this conversation almost as much as she wanted to avoid the topic.
There was another banging sound from downstairs, accompanied by faint voices.
"Well, it's not like we can sleep yet…" Linden prompted. "Who do you have a crush on?"
Just the question made Johanna nervous. Should she have a crush on someone? Was it weird that she didn't? She had to give Linden an answer, though. And, after the admission of her accidental spying, she felt like she owed Linden the truth.
"No one," Johanna answered, quietly.
"Really?" Linden didn't believe her.
"Really," Johanna insisted, "I haven't yet - or, I mean, at least I don't think I have."
"You don't think you've had a crush on anyone?"
"No," Johanna admitted, shaking her head against Linden's chest. As she answered, she realised this might be her best opportunity to find out. It was awkward to admit she was so ignorant about it, but she knew she would feel more comfortable asking Linden than anyone else. "I don't think so. What's it like?" she quickly whispered, before she lost her nerve.
Entwined as they were, both girls could feel the other's heartbeat increasing.
"What's it like to have a crush on someone?" Linden confirmed.
"Yeah."
"Well, I mean, I'm not really an expert," Linden began, with an awkward chuckle. "But… you think about the person a lot. You get excited to see them. You want to spend time with them. Your brain sometimes sort of… stops working when you talk to them, or if they do something cute. Probably your heart beats faster if they do something cute, too. Maybe you think about wanting to hold their hand, or hug them, or kiss them…"
The list was quite simple, really. Johanna probably could have come up with it herself, if she'd ever given it much thought.
But she hadn't ever given it much thought. She had never given any consideration to how it must feel to have a crush on someone. And that was probably why it came as such a shock to her, that she had just mentally ticked off every single point on Linden's list.
The realisation was abrupt, and momentarily all-consuming. Johanna couldn't move. Her face was burning hot, and her heart raced nervously. She swallowed, leaving her mouth suddenly dry. The whole situation was making her head spin. She was in Linden's bed, cuddled up against her, listening to a list of irrefutable evidence that she had a crush on Linden.
"Does that help?" Linden asked.
"Mhm," Johanna mumbled, her voice strained and tense.
"You were right: acting is one of your weaknesses," Linden teased.
"What?"
"You totally have a crush on someone!"
Instinctive fear flooded Johanna's body, making her mind spin even more. She wouldn't be able to convincingly lie to Linden. On the other hand, though, she absolutely wasn't ready to discuss her newfound crush.
Despite the vulnerability Johanna was feeling, she gradually realised the situation wasn't as exposing as she. Ultimately, she and Linden were on a level playing field now: all they both knew was that the other had a crush. It was an even trade, really. She tried to let the knowledge soothe her.
In what felt like minutes, but must have only been a moment, Johanna finally figured out her response.
"I won't ask you about yours, if you don't ask me about mine."
It was a careful acknowledgment of Linden's correct assessment, while also setting a clear boundary.
"Deal," Linden quickly nodded, her voice full of unexpected relief.
Chapter 24: Sleepover: Day 2
Chapter Text
Johanna started awake from a deep sleep.
For a brief second, she had no idea where she was. Then, gradually, she placed the high ceiling, the comfy blankets, and the sound of the large, heavy door brushing against the edge of the rug. She was in Linden's house. More specifically, she was in Linden's room. In Linden's bed .
"Girls?" Yvie softly called from the doorway.
The events of last night came crashing back to her all at once. Johanna's head began to swim.
"It's time to get up," Yvie said.
In response, Linden gave an unimpressed groan. She turned over to bury her face in her pillow, escaping the noise and light. The curve of the other girl's waist slid under Johanna's arm, as she moved.
How had Johanna ended up with her arm around Linden in the night?
She snapped her arm rigidly back to her side, away from her friend - away from her newfound crush.
"Breakfast is in ten minutes," said Yvie, before retreating back to the hallway and shutting the door.
For the first time, Johanna felt that she understood the expression 'in the cold light of day'. In the dark last night, climbing into Linden's bed had felt fun, exciting and safe. Their conversations had felt the same way, too. But something about the winter sunlight forcing its way into the room made Johanna question everything she had done last night. She felt embarrassed, and uneasy. But there was also a tiny thrill running through her.
"What time is it?" Linden mumbled.
Johanna looked around the room until she found the clock.
"Nearly nine."
"Ugghhh," Linden forced herself up, then twisted around into a sitting position. She stretched, and Johanna watched the way her arms flexed - until she realised what she was doing, and deliberately averted her gaze.
Johanna shuffled so she was also sitting up in the bed, being sure to leave a decent gap between Linden and herself, and willing away the burn that she could feel on her cheeks.
How had she not realised before?
"How late did we stay up?" Linden asked, through a yawn.
"Half one, maybe? Two?" Johanna guessed.
"Ughhhhh," Linden groaned again. "This is the bad thing about sleepovers: being so tired the next day."
While she certainly didn't feel fresh, Johanna was too on-edge to feel tired.
"But we have to get up: you have to see the garden!"
The excitement of the garden apparently banished Linden's remaining sleepiness, as she flashed Johanna a broad grin and jumped out of bed. Johanna was excited to see the garden, too; it had been too dark by the time they arrived yesterday. So, she quickly followed Linden's lead, and got up.
She had barely rounded the edge of the bed before Linden began to remove her sleeping top. The burning feeling in Johanna's cheeks was strong and instantaneous. She kept her eyes firmly on the floor as she walked over to her bag.
As predicted, before she reached the bag, she heard Linden chuckle.
"Shut up," Johanna grumbled, playfully.
"Prude!" Linden teased.
"Exhibitionist!" Johanna shot back.
Linden chuckled again, as Johanna disappeared into the washroom to get dressed.
Johanna began to remove her pyjamas behind the privacy of the half-closed door. But when she caught a glimpse of movement through the tiny gap between the door and the frame, she paused. Before she could stop herself, she leaned in closer, and focused in on Linden, wearing nothing but her underwear. It was two or three seconds before Johanna's conscience caught up to her and she guiltily tore her eyes away.
After a delicious, hot breakfast of bacon, eggs, mushrooms and buttery toast, Johanna borrowed a training jacket that Linden had outgrown, and a pair of grippy, fingerless gloves. Then, finally, they headed out to the garden. Johanna gasped as she stepped outside. There were four large wooden and metallic structures, spread out over various surfaces. It didn't take a genius to realise they must have been specially designed to help Yvie's children build the strength and skills they would need for The Games.
Firstly, Linden demonstrated how to use each piece of equipment. Then, they took some time for Johanna to practise on each one. When she was ready, they began to get competitive.
Linden was much faster than Johanna in all the races - she was much more familiar with the equipment, after all. However, when they began to test skill and endurance, the girls were much more evenly matched than Johanna had expected. Johanna narrowly won the balancing contest, then narrowly lost the competition for who could hang off the bars for longest.
Linden proposed a best of three, and Johanna readily agreed. They began a competition to see who could jump and grab the furthest of the monkey bars. They both easily cleared two, then three, then four bars. Linden made the fifth, cheered, then gently dropped down to the floor. Johanna stepped up to the platform, eyed up the bar and jumped.
The tips of all of her fingers touched the bar. But she didn't have quite enough contact to grip onto it. In the split second that her hands left the apparatus, she realised that she didn't have a contingency plan: she hadn't thought of how to fall. She tried to get her legs underneath her, and while her feet just managed to hit the ground first, her momentum carried her forward, leaving her sprawled out on the cold, damp woodchips.
Johanna hesitated for a second, trying to check she was okay. The fall had knocked the air out of her lungs - though not as badly as any of the times she'd fallen from a tree and landed on her back. Her hands and chin hurt from the impact, but not too badly.
"Shit are you okay?" Linden was already squatting down next to Johanna, before she'd had a chance to move.
"Yeah," Johanna wheezed, pushing herself up into a kneeling position, with Linden's help.
Linden gently caught Johanna's face in her hand, and brushed some dirt away from her chin. Johanna felt as if her whole body was humming at the kind, concerned touch. In all the excitement of using the equipment, she had forgotten about her recently-discovered crush for a while. But now that she was just inches from Linden's face, it was rapidly consuming her again.
"Are you sure?" Linden asked, still showing concern.
"I'm sure."
Linden stood up, and offered her hand to Johanna. With one strong, swift movement, Johanna found herself on her feet. She still wasn't aware of much except how close their faces were, though. And she couldn't work out whether she wanted to run away, or stay there forever.
"That's scratched up," said Linden, taking Johanna's face in her hand again, and looking at her chin. "We should go clean it. It's nearly lunchtime, anyway."
Johanna's thoughts were so scrambled that she couldn't speak: she just nodded her head against Linden's warm, soft fingers.
Johanna spent the rest of the day oscillating between falling into her old, easy patterns of joking around with Linden, and suddenly being hit with earth-shattering reminders that she had a crush on her best friend.
One minute, they would be talking about their English class, joking about Johanna's new goatee beard (the fresh scab on her chin), or investigating the running machine in the basement. The next, Linden would diligently separate her peas from her potatoes at lunch, or return from the shower wearing nothing but a towel, or accidentally knock her knee against Johanna's on the train journey home, and Johanna would be overwhelmed by the power and weight of her feelings for Linden. It was equal parts exhilarating and terrifying.
Chapter 25: Home
Chapter Text
Once Linden and Harry had safely delivered Johanna home, her whole family were excited to hear about her trip to the victors village. They all had questions for her over dinner: starting with how she had hurt her chin.
Johanna was equally excited to tell them all about her visit, and happily spoke almost non-stop about the house, the garden, the food - everything they wanted to hear. She even briefly mentioned the fact that Yvie was going to help her to come up with a strategy for the games. It was met with a predictable, poorly-hidden tension from her parents. They politely told her it was wonderful news, and that she must make sure to thank Yvie for the kind offer of help.
Her mother quickly moved the conversation on, keen to move away from more talk of the Games the day after the victory tour.
"And what time did you go to sleep?" Juniper asked, in a mock stern tone.
"Uhhh…" Johanna hesitated, playing off her mother's energy and pretending to sound guilty.
"Did you sleep?" her dad asked, playing it up further.
Jay's eyes widened.
"Yes!" Johanna giggled, "It was about one thirty, I think?"
"After midnight?!" Jay exclaimed, his eyes even wider. "Mom, when can I have a sleepover?"
After the busy weekend, an early night was in order. Just as Johanna was getting into bed, looking forward to catching up on some sleep, she heard her Mom's signature knock.
"Jo?" Juniper softly asked.
"Yeah," Johanna replied, warmly.
Her mom let herself in, closed the door behind her, and padded over to Johanna's bed as normal. She perched on the side, facing her daughter.
"How are you doing?"
"Tired, but good," Johanna smiled back at her mother.
"I'm so glad you had a good time," her mother smiled back.
Johanna noticed the relief in her mother's expression. "Were you worried?" she asked.
"Of course I was! It's the first time any of you have gone away - except to Granny's. We missed you!"
"You didn't need to worry!" Johanna felt a little guilty. "It was just one night - and Linden is my best friend. I was fine!" Johanna insisted with a small chuckle.
"Good!" Juniper's relief was palpable.
Johanna yawned as she snuggled into her bed, and then so did her mother.
"You look as tired as me," said Johanna.
"I was up half the night, thinking about the first sleepover I went on, and how scary it was."
"Did you get homesick?"
"Oh, not really."
"Then why was it scary?"
"One of my friends had an older sister who had told her all sorts of scary stories. And, at the sleepover, my friend decided to pass those stories to us."
"Like ghost stories?"
"We did tell ghost stories sometimes, but I always found that fun!"
"Then what was scary?"
"On that first sleepover, we were all only about ten years old. My friend told us horrible rumours about high school, and about other things we didn't yet know much about. I remember being scared about some of it for years!"
"Mom, I'm already in high school!" Johanna pointed out.
"I know, Jo. I'm your mom, though. It's my job to worry about you," she said with a wink.
"You don't need to worry, Mom. Linden's big sister didn't try to scare us. Well, she hit Linden with a magazine - but that was it."
The word 'magazine' seemed to set off an alarm in Juniper's mind. Her eyebrows raised slightly, and she had to make an effort to sound neutral.
"What was in the magazine?"
"Pictures of capitol people wearing capitol clothes, and lies about victors."
Johanna's mom smirked and relaxed.
"I'm glad you know not to trust anything written in those kinds of books," she smiled, proudly.
"Yeah, Linden explained that before we even started reading," Johanna assured her mother.
"You're both such sensible girls. I'm so happy you found a friend like her."
Johanna beamed. She could feel her cheeks glowing red, too. Her mom smiled back at her.
"If there was anything you talked about last night, or anything you saw in the magazines, or anything at all that you have questions about, or that you're worried about-"
"I can talk to you or Dad," Johanna finished her mother's speech. "I know."
Johanna's mom chuckled, "And I know you know. I just like to remind you."
"I know," Johanna replied, making a joke of the phrase.
"So… now that we're not at the table with your brothers… is there anything you want to talk about?"
"Mom, I told you: Willow didn't try to scare us!"
Johanna's mom gave her daughter a quiet, almost sad smile. She paused for a moment, trying to work out the best approach. Then, she began.
"It wasn't just stories from my friend's big sister that would scare me. Sometimes, sleepovers were scary because we found things out about ourselves."
Johanna felt a spike of fear. The question almost seemed pointed. Did her mom know? How could she already know?
After a moment of hesitation, Johanna opted to try throwing her mother off the scent. She rubbed her chin and joked, "I found out I can't jump as far as Linden."
Her mom laughed, but then gently asked, "Anything else?"
Johanna's cheeks burned hotter. She had to fight to stop her face from unwillingly contorting itself into a smile. She didn't meet her mother's eyes, despite knowing how suspicious it must make her look.
Johanna's mom waited patiently for her daughter to continue in her own time.
Aside from the embarrassment of it all, and the difficulty of actually getting the words out of her mouth, Johanna wanted to tell her mother about her exciting, terrifying, complicated new self discovery.
After a couple of failed attempts, she eventually blurted out, "I figured out I like someone."
Johanna's mother gasped in surprise. After a moment, Johanna managed to shyly meet her gaze. It was immediately obvious that Juniper's shock was fake.
"Don't tell Justin and Jay!" Johanna quickly insisted.
"I won't!" Juniper promised.
"Or Granny!"
"My lips are sealed."
They smiled at each other, then Johanna wriggled further under her blankets to cloak her embarrassment.
"Do you want to tell me who it is?" Juniper softly asked.
Johanna quickly shook her head, "No."
"Okay," her mom said, with a gentle smile. "Whenever you're ready."
Love and trust streamed between them, filling Johanna with a welcome sense of security. She also found herself curious about her mother's fake surprise. Had Juniper already known Johanna had a crush on someone? Johanna wasn't sure whether she wanted to know the answer. Eventually, she decided it would annoy her too much if she didn't find out.
"Did you already know?" she asked.
A flicker of true surprise washed through Juniper's eyes; apparently, she hadn't realised Johanna was aware of her pretend reaction. She quickly gathered herself, then gave a diplomatic answer.
"I wouldn't say we knew. But we've certainly had our suspicions for a little while."
Discomfort escaped Johanna's throat in a whine, and Johanna buried her head in her hands. Juniper seamlessly pulled her into a hug, affording Johanna the opportunity to press her face against her mom's shoulder, as if trying to squeeze away her embarrassment.
"How long?" Johanna mumbled into her mother's cardigans.
"Well, our first clue was when you suddenly started looking forward to going to school. So… about six months?"
Johanna groaned, and her mother chuckled.
"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, Jo! It happens to pretty much everyone, sooner or later. How do you feel about it?"
"Scared," Johanna's answer was still muffled by her mom's shoulder.
The answer was true, but it wasn't the whole picture. A smile was already tugging at the corners of her mouth. A moment later, she unburied her face, and admitted, "And excited, at the same time."
Johanna's mom grinned at her daughter.
"That sounds about right," Juniper encouraged, kindly. "Are you gonna tell her?"
Johanna's eyes flashed wide with horror.
"The person?" Juniper quickly tried to cover her mistake, but it was too late.
"Oh my god!" Johanna complained, squishing her burning face into her mother's shoulder again. "Is this why you kept telling Granny to stop talking about boys? Because you think I like a girl?"
"No, Jo. I stopped her because you seemed uncomfortable, and because I was worried that she was making you feel like you needed to start kissing people on the bus," Johanna's mom explained, patiently.
Johanna nodded against her mom's shoulder. Deep down, she had known her mother's real reasons.
"So, are you going to tell the person?"
The few extra seconds of thinking time had allowed Johanna to draw some more conclusions. Between the apparent long-term suspicion from her parents and Juniper's use of "her", Johanna was almost positive her parents knew exactly who she had a crush on. A montage of indecipherable glances shared between her parents over the last few months suddenly began to make sense. She felt silly for not realising it sooner.
But just because her parents probably knew, that didn't mean that she was ready to hear her mom confirm it aloud. For now, Johanna wanted to keep up the pretence that her crush could be on anyone.
She shook her head, "No. Well, maybe one day? But I only just realised last night - I don't know what I'm going to do!"
"That's okay, Jo," her mom soothed, stroking her hair. "There's no rush."
Johanna softened in her mother's arms, and hugged her back.
"What if it changes everything?" she mumbled.
"I know it feels big, Johanna. But it won't change everything. We're always going to love you. We're always going to be here for you. You're still going to be a wonderful sister, a fast reader, a crack shot with your axe…"
Johanna was grinning at her mother's compliments, but protested, "You know what I mean!"
"You're worried that it will change everything between you and that person?"
Johanna nodded.
"Well, that's one of the main reasons that people share this sort of information, Jo: because they want something to change between them."
Johanna thought for a long while about her mother's words. One day, perhaps, she might find herself wanting things between her and Linden to change. For now, though, she couldn't bear the thought of potentially losing her only real friend - not even to gain a girlfriend.
"I don't think I want that," Johanna decided aloud.
"That's okay, Jo," her mom repeated. "Take your time - whether that's days, or years, or never. And if you have any questions about any of this, you can ask us, okay?"
Johanna nodded again.
"Do you want to talk about anything else?"
Johanna shook her head, and told her mom, "I'm tired."
"I'll bet: staying up til one-thirty!"
Johanna giggled.
Her mom tucked her in, kissed her on the forehead, and told her, "Sleep well, Johanna. I love you."
"Love you too, Mom."
Johanna was sure that, if she could look inside her chest, her heart would be glowing.
Chapter 26: Plan
Chapter Text
Following the revelation that Johanna was in the throws of her first crush, she was nervous about going to school the next day. She was nervous about going to the woods after school, too. More accurately, she was nervous about seeing Linden again, now that seeing Linden would mean being reminded about her crush. To help her nerves, Johanna convinced Justin to join her and Linden in the woods after school, so that she and Linden didn't have to spend time alone together. Still strongly averse to violence, Justin agreed to run and climb with his sister and her friend, but not to do any of the fighting they were so prone to. Johanna gladly accepted his terms.
However, thankfully, seeing Linden again wasn't anywhere near as awkward as Johanna had anticipated. After the first minute or so of feeling all-consumed by her newly discovered crush, normality took over, and Johanna mostly forgot all about it. Ultimately, despite the occasional spiking reminders of her crush, Linden was still Johanna's best friend. Also, nothing about the way Johanna felt about Linden had really changed; the only difference was that she had a word for it now.
When Linden had dinner at Johanna's house later that week, Johanna's nervousness returned. But again, aside from the novelty of doing their usual routine in the knowledge that she had a crush on Linden, nothing had really changed. They did their homework, threw Johanna's axe, and hugged goodnight as they always did.
Throughout the rest of winter and the early spring, life continued on as usual: school, apprenticeships, and training in the woods - sometimes with Justin, sometimes without.
When Linden's birthday arrived, Yvie and Willow visited Weston for a few days, and Johanna was invited over to celebrate with the family after school. Both girls enjoyed two servings of a delicious meal, lovingly made by Marcus. Linden's gifts, as anticipated, were beyond Johanna's imagination. In a strange way, while still being unable to even recognise half of Linden's gifts, Johanna was growing used to the Coopers' wealthy lifestyle, and her own varying proximity to it.
Before Yvie returned to the centre of the district, she invited Johanna and her parents to Harry and Marcus' house for dinner, to discuss Johanna's strategy for The Games. Juniper stayed home with Justin and Jay, while Arthur accepted the invitation.
Willow had already travelled home, and Marcus and Harry had gone out for the evening before Johanna and Arthur arrived. Marcus' cooking, however, was unmistakable. The dinner began with pleasantries, enthusiasm about the wonderful food, and some discussion of work and school. But after a few bites, Yvie took advantage of a natural lull in the conversation to get on with the real reason they were all there.
"Now, Johanna," Yvie said, with a serious expression. "We can talk about this just the two of us, after dinner, if you prefer. Or we can do it here, with everyone, or with just your father… however you prefer is fine."
Johanna didn't hesitate to clarify, "I want them both here," flashing smiles at her father and best friend, who responded with comforting smiles of their own.
"Okay," Yvie agreed, "Then let's begin."
Johanna took a sip of her water, trying to control the sudden, unexpected nervousness."
"I've had a think about everything you said before - about your strengths and weaknesses - and I know what approach you should take. We'll start with the reaping, shall we?"
Johanna nodded.
"If they call your name, I want you to look scared."
Johanna, Linden and Arthur all shared a look of confusion.
"I imagine you'd be feeling pretty scared, if your name gets called?" Yvie began to explain.
"Yeah," Johanna agreed.
"And you said you're not much of an actress. I think we'll be better off focusing on other, more important skills for the next few months. So, just let it all out. Look shy, scared - cry, if you feel like it. I want you to make yourself look small, vulnerable, forgettable."
Johanna was still confused. Linden had told her almost the exact opposite at the last reaping - that she should do something memorable, if her name was chosen. Being memorable was how to get sponsors.
"But Mom-" Linden began, clearly sharing Johanna's confusion.
"We're not trying to make Johanna memorable," Yvie explained, anticipating her daughter's question. "When you told me what you think your weaknesses are, you said that you think you're small and weak and can't use many weapons. Now, I don't think that's completely true. However, if it's something you believe about yourself, then it shouldn't be hard to act that way. And that's how we're going to make all the other tributes think you're small and weak, too."
"But-" Linden began to protest again, but Yvie quickly cut her off.
"I haven't finished," she said, sharply but not unkindly, before moving on with her explanation, "You know the training scores?"
"Yes," Johanna was intrigued, eager for Yvie to make it clear how this would benefit her in the games.
"Well, the mentors usually use those to come up with a strategy for who to target first. But tributes also have their own ideas, from what they get to know about the other tributes in training. We don't want you anywhere near those lists for who to target. And the way to do that is to make sure no-one would perceive you to be a threat."
"Okay…" Johanna appreciated the explanation, but still wasn't sure about where the plan was going. She needed to look weak to avoid being targeted, but then what?
"But we know the truth, Johanna. You aren't shy or weak or clueless. You have a lot of useful skills. And that's how you're going to win."
Johanna smiled at Yvie.
"So, for now, your plan is to keep working on your strengths: learn about more plants with your Granny, keep running with your brother, throw your axes, learn more self-defence with Linden. She's also going to teach you what she knows about shelter and fire - survival skills. Harry has offered to teach you both some first aid, too."
"That all sounds like a good start," Arthur smiled, sounding relieved that the plan wasn't more complex. "And what about actually in the Games?"
"Unfortunately, it's not possible to come up with a highly detailed plan before the Games," Yvie patiently explained, "Because we never know what the arena is like until the tributes are already there. So, all we can do is plan for the reaping, and have a broadly applicable strategy for the Games, regardless of terrain."
"Ah, I see," Arthur nodded.
"So, Johanna, for now, your overall plan is to keep doing what you're doing, plus learning some survival skills. And if you're reaped - which you won't be - but if you are - then make yourself look boring, weak and forgettable. In the Games, just stay hidden for as long as you can. The more tributes that forget about you, the fewer you'll have to face."
"But what about sponsors?" Linden asked, still concerned about Johanna's plan.
"That's the downside," Yvie admitted. "It's always a fine balance to strike. Sponsors are most interested in high-scoring candidates who make an impression. Unfortunately, so are the other tributes. It's only really worth pursuing sponsorship if you're already likely to be high up on the other tributes' lists of who to take out first."
"But what if she needs medicine?" Arthur asked, growing worried.
"Some plants are medicine, Dad," Johanna reminded him.
"It's a good question," Yvie assured him, "But if you look at the statistics, the vast majority of sponsor-gifted medications are delivered to tributes injured in fights - the ones getting the screen time, making the best entertainment. That wouldn't be Johanna, though - we would want her to avoid fighting as long as she can."
"Yvie's right, Dad," Johanna added, her trust in Yvie's plan growing, "I don't want people paying attention to me. Even if it means no sponsors."
A tormented sigh left Arthur's lips, and he stared forlornly at the remaining mashed potatoes on his plate.
"I know this is hard to think about," Yvie gently sympathised, "But it's best to be prepared."
"I know," he reluctantly agreed.
"Is that the whole plan, then?" Johanna asked, "I act scared, and just hope I can hide until everyone else dies?"
"Not quite," Yvie replied, with a smile. "The audience finds it a bit anticlimactic for the winner to simply be whoever hid the best. Therefore, when there aren't many tributes left, the gamemakers tend to force them together, hoping to make them fight. Therefore, we need to assume you'll have to fight at some point. But, you see, it's all about timing. We would want you to hide long enough to let the strongest tributes take each other out - or at least for them to get injured and tired. But we wouldn't want you to hide for so long that the gamemakers start forcing you out, into some kind of showdown. You'd be much less likely to win if you had to fight on their terms. No, we want you to go into the final fight well-rested, fed, armed with axes… with as many advantages as possible, really."
"I understand," Johanna nodded again. While she understood exactly what Yvie meant, she wasn't sure how she'd ever know what the best timing would be, in practice.
"That's why it's important for you to keep practising everything that you're already doing, up until a week or two before reaping day."
"Why until then?" Johanna asked.
"Because it's much harder to look weak and innocent if you're covered in bruises from training with my feral daughter," Yvie explained, eying the half-faded bruise on Johanna's cheek with a loving smile.
Johanna chuckled and blushed slightly.
"We can try to cover marks with makeup if we have to, but then you're at risk of crying it off. So, no fighting for at least a week before reaping day."
"Okay," Johanna agreed. "So, I just need to keep training, learn survival skills, keep learning about plants, and look scared if they call my name?"
"Mhm," Yvie agreed.
"Sounds easy," Johanna grinned.
"But they won't call your name, sweetie," Johanna's dad reminded her, gently.
"I know, Dad. It's just in case."
"Just in case," Yvie agreed. "And, on a more pleasant note, Linden has something she'd like to ask you both."
Linden's face lit up. "Would you like to visit for a few days over spring break?" she said, in a single, excited breath.
Johanna's eyes grew wide as she turned to her father, and asked him, "Can I? Please?"
"I don't see why not," he agreed, grinning back at her.
Chapter 27: The Talk
Chapter Text
When Johanna and her father returned home from discussing her reaping strategy with Yvie, Juniper and Justin were in the living room working on his latest whittling project, and Jay was already in bed.
"How did it go?" Her mom asked, trying to sound excited for her daughter, despite her obvious dread.
"Really well," Johanna beamed as she hung up her jacket and walked into the room. "Basically, the plan is to pretend I'm weak so that everyone forgets about me. That way, I won't have to fight much."
"That sounds very clever," her mother replied, diplomatically.
Johanna knew her mother wouldn't want to hear all the details of her strategy, so she decided to change the subject. "But the best part is," she announced excitedly, "they invited me to visit in spring break!"
"Oh!" This time, her mother's excitement felt genuine. "How exciting! When?"
While Arthur explained the proposed details of the visit to Juniper, Johanna sat with her brother to take a look at the creature he was carving. It wasn't a real animal - at least not one she had ever seen - but it was beautiful. When Johanna asked about it, Justin launched into an enthusiastic explanation about a creature in his current library book, pointing out where different colours would be, and detailing his plans for whittling feathers into the wings.
"You're so good at this," Johanna told Justin, really meaning the words.
"Thanks," he blushed with pride at the compliment.
"Have you done all your homework, Jo?" her mother asked, sounding gentle but serious.
"Yeah," Johanna's suspicion was clear in her voice, "Except this new history project - but it's due after spring break."
"That's okay, love. I trust you to get it done. Do you have time for a chat?"
Concern began to mingle with Johanna's suspicion, and her mother noticed it immediately.
"You're not in trouble - it's nothing bad!" her mother quickly assured her.
"Okay…" Johanna agreed, still suspicious.
"Let's go to your room," her mom suggested.
Johanna said goodnight to her brother and dad, and led the way upstairs, her anxiety growing with each step.
"I should have spoken to you about this sooner," Juniper admitted, somewhat sheepishly, as they approached Johanna's bedroom.
"About what, Mom?"
Her mother gently closed the door behind them, took a deep breath, and replied, "About dating, and love and sex and everything in between."
Johanna had been right to be suspicious, then. She couldn't think of a worse way to spend the rest of her evening. She closed her eyes, groaned, and flopped face-down onto her bed.
"Mom, we've already talked about that!" she complained, her voice muffled by her blankets.
"We have, a bit," her mother agreed. "But we didn't cover everything. And now that you're in high school, and you have a crush on someone…"
Heat burned through Johanna's face, and she made another muffled groan of embarrassment into the blankets on her bed.
"Johanna," her mother gently warned. "It's important for you to have all the facts, so that you can make safe, smart decisions. We don't have to have this talk right now, if you really don't want to. But we do have to talk about it at some point."
"How about when I'm fifty?" Johanna sarcastically suggested, still into the blankets.
Juniper sighed, then in a serious but gentle tone, clarified, "We have to talk about it at some point before you go on a three day holiday without your parents."
Johanna was quiet. She knew she was asking a lot of her parents, to be allowed to spend three nights away in the centre of the district. So, really, she wasn't surprised that her mother wanted to have a serious talk with her before she went.
It would be best to get it over with now, she decided, rather than dreading it for the next few days.
Reluctantly, she brought herself up into a sitting position and mumbled, "Fine."
"Scoot over," Juniper said. Johanna shuffled a few inches closer to her pillow, making room for her mother to join her.
"What do you remember from last time?" Juniper asked.
"You already told me exactly how babies are made," Johanna answered, keen not to have to recap it, if possible. "And then I heard it all again at school," she added, with a slight shudder.
"And do you have any questio-"
"No," Johanna was quick to answer.
"Okay," Juniper soothed. "We don't have to talk about that again just now, unless there's anything you want to ask."
"There isn't," Johanna shook her head. She definitely didn't want to have that discussion again.
"Okay, Jo. We won't. But making babies is only one part of sex," Juniper reminded her daughter.
"Ugh," Johanna groaned, twisted around again, and buried her face in her pillow, burning with a fresh wave of awkward embarrassment.
"You can stay there while we talk, if that makes it easier?" Juniper suggested, with a quiet sigh. Johanna considered it for a moment, then nodded her head against the soft bedding.
"Okay. What else do you remember?"
Johanna shifted a little, so that her mouth wasn't too squished to speak, and did her best to answer her mother's question. They chatted that way for a few minutes, until the right balance of courage and outrage allowed Johanna to turn around and face her mother again.
"Mom! I haven't even kissed anyone yet! You know that, right?"
"I wasn't sure," her mother admitted, with a gentle shrug. After a brief pause, Juniper broke into a soft smile, and asked, "When you say 'yet'... does that mean you want to?"
Johanna groaned again, and threw her face back into the comfort of her pillow. She spent the rest of the conversation oscillating between looking at her mother and hiding her face in the sanctuary of her bedding.
By the time Juniper finally said, "That's everything I needed to say," Johanna felt drained, and was physically hot from the embarrassment of it all.
However, underneath all the embarrassment, Johanna knew her mother had raised some good points that Johanna hadn't thought about before. She was loath to admit it, but Johanna understood why her mom had insisted on having the talk.
"Any more questions?" her mother asked.
Johanna didn't think there could possibly be anything else to know about dating, consent and sex. But she did have one question for her mother.
"Why did you want to do this before I go on holiday?" she asked, in her practised, direct manner.
Her mom gave her a tight smile that verged on pitiful. Juniper had largely remained calm throughout the entire uncomfortable discussion. However, she had to pause and think multiple times as she carefully answered, "Well, Jo, your father and I… we think… that it's a possibility… when you go on spring break… that you might spend a lot of time with the person you have a crush on."
Johanna's eyes widened in shock. It was her mother's strongest implication yet that she suspected Johanna had a crush on Linden. Her mouth hovered open, unable to figure out what to say, or how to react.
"Is that why you asked?" Juniper sounded concerned.
No, it hadn't been. But, in hindsight, Johanna could see why it might look that way. She wasn't sure what she had expected her mom to say. Johanna's instincts told her to run away, but she managed to suppress them and stayed put.
She shook her head, still too shocked to say more than, "No."
Her mother grimaced, then apologised, "I'm sorry, Jo."
"Whatever," Johanna mumbled, with a self-conscious shrug. She dropped her eyes to her pants, and began to scratch at a small drop of dried sauce near the hem. "I knew you thought it was Linden anyway."
"Come here," Johanna's mother held her arms out to her daughter. It only took Johanna a second or two to succumb to the comforting embrace.
As she calmed down to the rhythm of her mother's heartbeat, another question occurred to Johanna.
"Why are you even letting me go, then? If that's what you think?"
"Because she's still your best friend, Jo," her mother answered, as if it should have been obvious. "Your other feelings don't change that."
Was it really that simple? Johanna pondered it for a moment. She had a crush on Linden. Linden was her best friend. Her mother was right: it was possible for the two things to be true at once, independent of each other.
Johanna hadn't known how much she needed to hear those words, until her mother said them.
Chapter 28: Spring Break
Chapter Text
As usual, Johanna's grandmother looked after the children throughout the school break, while their parents were at work. Almost every day, Johanna took her brothers running, climbing and foraging for plants from their grandmother's book. Granny also taught her grandchildren some cooking skills, accompanied them to the library, and helped with homework. The most exciting part of each day, though, was Granny's axe-throwing lesson.
Despite enjoying spending time with her grandmother, the first week and a half of the spring break dragged a little, tinged as it was with the excitement of visiting the centre of the district. In the ten days they spent apart, Johanna and Linden still wrote a letter to each other. Every day, Johanna raced to check the mail the moment it arrived. When she finally saw Linden's handwriting on one of the envelopes, she clutched it and jumped with joy.
The night before she was due to travel to the centre of the district, Johanna was so excited and anxious about the trip, she barely slept a wink. She sprang out of bed early, checked her bag again to make sure she hadn't forgotten to pack anything, and waited impatiently for her father to be ready to take her to the train station.
As the train approached the platform, Arthur hugged Johanna tight, told her to be sensible, to have fun, and that he loved her. She promised that she would, and told him that she loved him, too. Getting the train by herself for the first time made Johanna incredibly anxious. Even just a few minutes out of Weston, she began looking up from her book to check the scenery, worried that she might somehow miss district seven's central station. But a couple of hours later, she arrived, safe and sound, and launched herself into Linden's waiting arms on the platform.
"I missed you," they said, in almost-perfect unison, causing them both to laugh.
"Hi Johanna, it's good to see you again! How was the journey?" Yvie asked, with a kind smile.
Linden took Johanna's bag, despite Johanna's insistence it was unnecessary, and the three of them fell into an easy chat as they walked the half mile back to the victors' village. They spent barely five minutes at the house to drop off Johanna's bag and pick up Linden's siblings, before heading out for lunch.
Johanna had never been to a restaurant before. The sounds, sights, smells and flavours almost overwhelmed her, and she was sure she was going to remember the experience for the rest of her life. The huge list of dishes she could choose from proved impossible, and in the end, Linden helped her order. Her meal was perfect, and she was also encouraged to try some of the fish from Linden's plate. It was unlike anything she'd ever tasted before. She wouldn't have wanted a full portion of it today, but also, she suspected she would like to get accustomed to it.
The desserts Johanna, Linden and Asher split three ways were all as delicious as each other, full of fruit, chocolate, rich, sweet sauces and warming spices that delighted Johanna's mouth, brain and stomach alike.
Following lunch, Willow left to see some friends, and Yvie took the other three around the district for a while, showing Johanna more of the sights. In the better light, and at a more relaxed pace, Johanna did a better job of taking it all in this time. The grandeur was impressive, and she was glad to have seen it. However, on balance, she decided she preferred Weston. She couldn't imagine these larger-than-life buildings with their clean, angular power could ever manage to feel like home.
After another delicious dinner in the Coopers' warm, welcoming home, Linden and Asher gave Johanna a full introduction to the basement gym. They spent a few minutes on each piece of gym equipment, before eventually using the mats to wrestle. Mostly, Johanna and Asher wrestled each other, with Linden coaching. Johanna's confidence rapidly grew, as she won more than half of the matches against the slightly smaller child. Asher was confident and competitive, but wasn't disheartened at all by losing. It was strange how someone so polar opposite from Justin still managed to remind Johanna so much of her own brother.
They were all disappointed to have to stop when Yvie came to tell them it was time to wash up ready for bed. However, as they climbed the stairs up to Linden's bedroom, Johanna felt her exhaustion setting in.
Johanna insisted Linden should shower first, while she found her wash things and bedclothes in her bag. As she rummaged, she realised Linden's bedclothes were in the room. Linden wasn't getting dressed in the bathroom, then. Johanna made a promise to herself to not get flustered if Linden returned wearing nothing but a towel.
When she had found and arranged her washbag and pyjamas, Johanna filled her time looking over the things in Linden's room again. The photographs, like the ones in Linden's room at Harry and Marcus' house, were mostly from Linden's old school. In general, the children looked a little younger in the photos here. Linden must have taken the most recent ones to Weston, Johanna surmised.
There must have been over fifty pictures in total, across Linden's bedroom in Weston and the one in which Johanna was standing now. They almost all depicted Linden's old school friends, messing around, smiling, laughing. Johanna's prior experience of photographs had been limited to weddings, new babies, and occasional photos at school - largely for identification purposes. She wasn't sure who in Weston might have a camera, but they certainly weren't commonplace. In the capitol, however, cameras were apparently so common as to be owned by children, who could photograph themselves seemingly whenever they liked.
"Bathroom's free!" Linden's voice interrupted Johanna's thoughts.
She appeared at the doorway a second later, striding into the room still covered in droplets of water, wearing nothing but a towel.
As she had practised in her mind, Johanna casually thanked Linden, collected her things, and headed off to take a shower, grinning proudly to herself at not getting flustered this time.
The shower was incredible. A strong stream of hot water cascaded through Johanna's hair and down her body, steaming the scent of Linden's soap around the room as it warmed her body. By the time she shut the water off, Johanna had never felt cleaner in her life.
Dressed in her pyjamas, with her damp hair gradually dripping into her top, Johanna softly padded through the thick carpet towards Linden, smiling sleepily up at her from her bed.
"How are you feeling?" Linden asked.
"Really tired!" Johanna answered honestly as she kneeled down to return her clothes to her bag.
"Are you homesick?"
Johanna looked up at her friend, taking in the hope in her voice and eyes.
She briefly considered saying she was, both because she desperately wanted to sleep in Linden's bed again, and because it seemed as if Linden wanted to be right. In the end, though, Johanna couldn't bring herself to lie.
"Not really," she shook her head, "We've been too busy!"
"Keeping busy is a good way to avoid it," Linden replied, wisely, before suggesting, "You can still sleep in with me if you want, in case you start to feel homesick later?"
It sounded like a sensible plan. Johanna really might start to feel homesick soon, now that she wasn't so busy. And she certainly didn't want her trip to be ruined by homesickness - especially not if it could be easily prevented. But, mostly, she just wanted to share Linden's warmth again.
"Good idea," she agreed, unable to hide the smile spreading over her face.
Linden shuffled to one side, and Johanna slipped into the bed next to her, subtly inhaling the scent that already felt familiar to her, after their previous sleepover. Linden turned the lamp off, and they settled together under the covers, yawning in unison.
"You sound as tired as I feel," Linden chuckled.
"Yeah, I think I might be too tired to play any games tonight," Johanna admitted, disappointedly.
"Me, too," Linden agreed, equally disappointed. "I woke up really early this morning, because I was so excited about today."
"So did I!" Johanna giggled.
"We can do games tomorrow?" Linden suggested, and Johanna nodded eagerly against her shoulder.
"Yeah, tomorrow."
"Goodnight, Mason," Linden whispered into the dark.
"Goodnight."
Within a minute, both girls were asleep, tangled in each other's arms.
Chapter 29: Mine is, too
Chapter Text
Johanna and Linden spent most of the next day playing with Asher again, switching between the equipment outside and the gym in the basement every couple of hours. After dinner, they spent the evening together in Linden's bedroom. This time, they asked Willow to borrow some magazines, and she let them choose from a selection she'd already read. The girls sat on Linden's bed, wearing their pyjamas, flicking through the glossy images of capitol trends. Again, Johanna was largely horrified by what she saw on the pages, with the exception of the "naturally" styled models, who were all unspeakably beautiful. Linden generally agreed with Johanna's opinions, and they even had the same favourite model.
As they had at their last sleepover, the girls stayed up late past lights out, whispering and giggling together in the darkness. When the conversation inevitably returned to the topic of their crushes, Johanna felt her heart instantly begin to race.
"Is it still the same person?" Linden asked Johanna, shyly.
"Yeah! I haven't done anything about it, so why would it change?" Johanna asked.
"Willow said that sometimes they just go away," Linden explained.
"Did yours change?"
Linden chuckled, and replied, "Nope."
"Are you gonna tell me who it is, this time?" Johanna whispered.
"Are you gonna tell me yours?" Linden fired back.
They both giggled, nervously. For a moment, Johanna found herself considering it. In the light of day, she had never found herself wanting to tell Linden she had a crush on her. But something about the dark room, the late hour, and the intimacy of whispering so close to each other, gave her pause.
"No," Johanna finally decided. "You can tell me yours, though."
"No way!" Linden laughed. "That's not a fair trade."
"Okay," Johanna whispered, with a small shrug against the covers. "Have you told anyone?"
"I mean, Willow kind of figured it out," Linden explained, reminding Johanna of the conversation she half-overheard on her last visit. "But I haven't really told anyone. What about you?"
"Yeah, it was kind of the same for me, with my mom and dad," Johanna cringed at the memory of the conversation she had with her mother a couple of weeks ago.
"Oh shit," Linden sympathised, "That might be worse than Willow!"
"I don't know, it's not like they tease me or anything."
"True. Willow has been a bitch about it sometimes," Linden grimaced.
"Do you think you're gonna tell the person?" Johanna asked.
There was a pause, while Linden thought about the question. It gave Johanna time to think about the answer for herself, too.
"Maybe," Linden eventually admitted into the dark. "Sometimes I kind of want to. But mostly it's just too scary."
"Right?" Johanna enthusiastically agreed.
"Willow said she thinks I'm going to do it soon."
"What? Why would she say that?"
"Have you heard of reaping fever?"
The phrase rang a bell, but Johanna couldn't say what it was.
"Maybe? I don't know."
"In the lead up to the reaping, people start doing stuff they've never done before."
"Oh, like they're scared it might be their last chance?" Johanna wondered.
"Yeah, exactly. In my old school, all the district kids sneaked out of bed a few days before the reaping, and we played games outside, all night, until the sun came up."
"Did you get caught?"
"Not really, but we kept falling asleep in English the next day, so the teachers figured it out."
"Did you get in trouble?"
"I mean, they told us not to do it again and sent us to bed early. But the teachers always felt sorry for the district kids around reaping time."
Initially, Johanna's instinct was disbelief. The idea of capitol citizens caring about district children was laughable to her. However, as soon as she thought about it a little more, she realised it was probably true. Most capitol citizens had no contact at all with district children; their only exposure was through the Games. Linden's teachers, however, were among the rare few who would have actually met anyone from the districts. All of the other children in their lives; their family, neighbours and other students; would be immune from the Games, due to being capitol citizens. Their students provided a rare, personal connection to the reaping and the Games.
It created an odd mixture of sympathy and revulsion in Johanna's mind. On the one hand, at least they had the decency to care. On the other, they were still part of the capitol - the power that made the Games happen in the first place. And all they could do was feel sorry for their district students?
"Have you done any reaping fever things?" Linden's question broke through Johanna's contemplative pause.
"I guess I did, sort of, in my first year," she admitted.
"What did you do?"
Johanna laughed, shyly, "It's so lame!"
"What!?"
Johanna squirmed a little at the memory as she recounted, "There was a book that I wanted to read, but I wasn't allowed to get it out of the library with a kid ticket. So, I stole it and read it really fast, and then took it back without anyone ever finding out."
Linden quietly erupted into adoring laughter. "That is the most Johanna thing you could've possibly done!"
"Shut up!" Johanna laughed, giving Linden a playful shove.
"It is though!"
"Why are we talking about this anyway?" Johanna joked, diverting attention from her embarrassing book thievery incident.
"Because Willow said the older you get, the worse the reaping fever gets."
"Worse how?"
"More intense, I guess?"
"More chance of being chosen."
"Yeah. And more… other stuff, too."
"What do you mean?"
"Willow said before the reapings, the district high school kids at our old school all started telling each other about their crushes and kissing each other and… stuff."
"Stuff ?" Johanna squirmed slightly at Linden's implication, and they both giggled again.
"Yeah, because they don't want to get reaped without having kissed someone, or… whatever."
Another contemplative pause swept over Johanna. Over the years, she had considered lots of hypotheticals regarding being reaped. But this was the first time she had considered it was possible for her to get reaped before having her first kiss. She didn't want that to happen.
"What are you thinking?" Linden whispered, after a few moments of quiet.
"I'm thinking it makes sense," Johanna admitted into the darkness. "I don't want to get reaped without ever having kissed someone."
"Who?" Linden asked, her tone slightly teasing as she tried to get Johanna to admit her crush again.
She had wanted to kiss Linden on countless occasions over the last few months. However, Johanna suspected that, if she ever did kiss Linden, she would want it to be real - not just because of reaping fever.
"Just… someone," Johanna shrugged. "I don't want to die without having tried it. I mean, don't you want to kiss someone before reaping day, too?" Johanna asked.
"I've kissed people before," Linden shrugged, a little too casually.
"Really?" Johanna turned to Linden in the dark, almost outraged that she'd never mentioned it before. "You never said!"
"It never came up!"
"How many people?"
"I've kissed a few people in games - dares and stuff. There was a lot of that at my old school. And I've also kissed one person for real."
"WHO?" Johanna gasped, suddenly interested in nothing else.
"Just people from my old school," Linden tried to shrug off the question.
"But what about the real kiss?"
"It was only one time!" said Linden, still avoiding the question.
"That's not an answer," Johanna insisted, playfully. "Can I guess who?"
"I didn't even say it's someone you've heard of!"
"It is, though, isn't it?"
"Uhh…"
"Is it one of the people in your pictures?"
"Maaaaybe."
"Please, can I guess?"
Linden paused, considering the question, then told Johanna, "You can have two guesses."
Johanna bolted upright, trying to get a look at Linden's pictures, despite the darkness. Linden immediately scrabbled at Johanna's arms, pulling her back down, and giggling as she complained, "That's cheating!"
"How is it cheating?" Johanna demanded, pinned to the mattress, giggling. "Half your pictures are at Harry and Marcus' place anyway!"
The hesitation that followed was just long enough for Johanna to conclude that the person had to be in one of the pictures in this room.
"Ohhhhhhhh," Johanna said, slipping through Linden's grip and shooting up again to try getting another look at the pictures. Linden tackled Johanna back down onto the mattress almost immediately, both of them laughing.
"No looking!" Linden clarified.
"Fine," Johanna agreed, stopping her struggle. She began to think through all the pictures she could remember as Linden settled back down next to her.
"So, it's someone whose picture is in this room…" Johanna thought aloud. "And you kissed them for real?"
"Just one time!" Linden reminded Johanna, insistently.
Johanna couldn't remember all of the pictures, or all of the names. But that didn't matter. A memory - or more of a feeling - had resurfaced. When Willow had mentioned Arachne the last time Johanna had slept over, there had been something about the way Linden had reacted that seemed different. Johanna was almost sure it must have been her.
The prospect of suggesting Arachne's name was nerve-wracking, though. Kissing a girl wasn't bad . But it wasn't exactly normal , either. Johanna didn't want to offend Linden by suggesting it. But, on the other hand, she now desperately wanted to know whether her instinct was correct.
"I think I know," Johanna mumbled after a long pause, all traces of laughter gone from her voice, and replaced with nerves.
The sudden, nervous intensity was infectious, and Linden tensed up, too. They both breathed fast in the dark.
"You don't need to sound so serious, Mason," Linden tried to tease Johanna in an attempt to lighten the mood, but her whispered voice was strained, "Just guess!"
It took Johanna a few more seconds to work up the courage to finally whisper, "Was it Arachne?"
Another tense pause followed, before Linden quietly confirmed, "Yeah."
Johanna could hear her heartbeat in her ears again. All she could think was that, somehow, this changed everything. Logically, she knew it didn't. Linden and Arachne had kissed before Johanna had even met Linden. So, how could that kiss change anything now?
Johanna didn't just have a crush on her best friend, any more. She had a crush on her friend who had kissed a girl .
That's how the kiss changed things.
If it had already been scary to have a crush on Linden before, it was ten times worse, now.
"Say something," Linden mumbled into the darkness, her nervous whisper on the edge of breaking.
"Shit, sorry!" said Johanna, embarrassed to have left her friend hanging. "Uhhh… I win!"
Linden spluttered into a relieved laugh, and Johanna quickly followed.
"Can I ask you something?" Johanna asked, before she lost her nerve.
"Okay."
"What was it like? Kissing her, I mean."
Linden giggled again, thought for a moment, then ventured, "Good! Fun, nice, also kind of scary. It's hard to put it into words."
"I definitely want to kiss someone before the reaping," Johanna decided.
"Johanna," Linden said, suddenly serious, "Please don't tell anyone."
"Of course."
"Promise?"
Johanna heard the bed sheets rustle. Although she couldn't see Linden's hand in the dark, she knew her friend was holding out her pinkie finger. Johanna half sat up in the bed, gently found Linden's hand, and intertwined their little fingers, as they had a few times since they'd met.
"I promise."
They settled back down again, quietly lying next to each other, their pinkie fingers still half-entwined under the covers, their hearts still racing.
"Linden?" Johanna broke the silence with a soft whisper.
"Yeah?"
"Your crush… Is it on a girl?"
Linden hesitated.
"I won't tell anyone," Johanna promised again.
A moment later, Linden tentatively admitted, "Yeah."
Johanna's heart rate increased even more. She admired Linden for being vulnerable enough to answer the question. She was relieved to learn she wasn't the only one. She was excited, too. And she was worried that, somehow, this could make things even more complicated.
Mostly, though, she was nervous about what she knew was coming next.
"Is yours?" Linden asked, somehow sounding even more nervous than Johanna.
Eventually, after an age of difficult silence between them, Johanna finally whispered, "Yeah. Mine is, too."
Chapter 30: Home again
Chapter Text
The exhilaration from their conversation kept Johanna and Linden awake long into the night. In turn, they slept in late to compensate. However, the day before, the girls had promised Asher a rematch of an endurance game after breakfast. He quickly grew impatient waiting for them to wake up and join him outside, and his complaints eventually drove Willow to take action. She snapped at Asher to shut up, and then went upstairs to wake their sister.
"Hey, Linden," Willow called, loudly knocking on the door with one hand while simultaneously opening it with the other.
The noise made Linden and Johanna stir from their deep sleep. They didn't have a chance to move apart, though, before Willow entered the room.
"Really?" Willow scoffed, giving the entangled Linden and Johanna a pointed stare.
"Fuck off, Willow!" Linden complained, tossing a stuffed animal in her sister's direction.
"Unbelievable," Willow muttered, easily dodging the projectile. "When you two are finished cuddling , Asher's waiting for you."
Johanna sat up in Linden's bed, as Willow let herself out of the room. She could feel her face burning red. She glanced over at Linden, whose embarrassment was also displayed clearly on her cheeks. They shared a tense moment of eye contact for a moment, as if they'd somehow been caught doing something wrong. Then, Linden broke the silence.
"We're so late to the rematch!"
As Johanna began to search her bag for her clothes, she caught sight of Linden, stripping off her pyjama top just as casually as always. Johanna felt an unexpected sense of relief wash through her. It didn't take her long to understand the unexpected emotion: she had been worried their conversation last night might have changed something between them. The familiar action provided an encouraging sign that everything was going to be okay - even though they now both knew the other had a crush on a girl.
As usual, Johanna got changed in the washroom. When both girls were ready, they headed downstairs, fetched themselves some quick breakfast, then finally joined Asher outside. Johanna pushed herself hard again, and was pleased to already have made significant progress using the equipment. Her chin remained ungrazed this time - though she had a few small blisters and bruises by the time they stopped for lunch.
After multiple helpings of warm, spiced soup accompanied by thick slices of bread and the sound of light rain, Linden and Asher introduced Johanna to their favourite boardgame. When the game was over and the weather had improved, they managed to squeeze in another hour or so outside, before it was time for Johanna to leave.
Although they knew the way themselves, Willow walked Johanna and Linden to the station. As they walked, they discussed the magazines Willow had lent them. It was the first proper conversation Johanna had had with Linden's older sister, and within moments, Johanna no longer found her scary. From magazines, the conversation branched out to reading more generally, during which Johanna and Willow discovered they were both fans of a series of books. Johanna, reliant on Weston's poorly stocked library, hadn't yet been able to finish the series. Willow offered to lend her the remaining volumes, via Linden, and Johanna enthusiastically accepted the kind offer, delighted to be able to read the rest of the story.
At the train platform, Johanna and Linden shared a long hug goodbye.
"Okay, Linden, get off her. She's gonna miss the train!" Willow eventually joked, pulling at Linden's shoulder.
Reluctantly, the girls parted.
"I'll miss you," they said to each other, in unison again.
Willow was almost right - the conductor blew their whistle just as Johanna's foot hit the step. She hurried aboard, and Willow closed the door behind her. As the train pulled away, Linden and Johanna waved through the window until they had completely faded from each other's view. As she finally settled into her train seat for the journey back to Weston, Johanna couldn't think about anything other than how much she already missed Linden.
Chapter 31: Reaping fever
Chapter Text
Back in school, Johanna sighed at her latest apprenticeship assignment. This was now the third time she had been placed in a factory, and the third time she wasn't working with Linden. She was beginning to grow impatient. She wanted to get out in the forest and use an axe - ideally with her best friend. Or, if they were going to be stuck in factories, then couldn't they at least get to suffer through the tedium of it together?
However, being in separate placements no longer meant Johanna and Linden spending less time together. Now that the evenings were getting lighter, and the girls had adjusted to high school life, they were spending more time together in the woods after school. They even occasionally managed to train in the woods after their apprenticeship shifts, too. Between their usual climbing, wrestling and defence training, Johanna and Linden began to cover some survival skills. Justin sometimes joined them, too, enjoying the work involved in constructing shelters and fires. Having helped their parents build up winter fires many times, it didn't take either of the Mason children long to learn how to make and light fires, under various conditions. By the end of spring, Johanna could splint a leg and build a shelter in a tree just as well as Linden. She could occasionally beat her at wrestling, too.
"Mom says we've gotta take it easy now," Linden told Johanna as they walked to the woods after a warm, slow day at school.
"Now? I thought she said a week before the games?" Johanna protested.
"Yeah, a week for bruises to fade before the reaping. But it's five or six weeks for broken bones to heal before the games. Mom doesn't want us to risk getting a serious injury. So, that means no climbing high, only doing careful fighting stuff…"
Reluctantly, Johanna grumbled her agreement to follow the plan. It was sensible, if a little dull. For their next few evenings and weekends together, the girls concentrated on running, hiding, and learning other useful skills like knots and traps. Without any of the fighting training he so hated, Justin joined in most days. He was a good runner, despite his relative lack of training, and took to the knot tying very naturally - from all his practice whittling, Johanna theorised. He also quickly adjusted to the sarcastic, teasing banter Johanna and Linden shared, firing out quips that made Johanna oddly proud of her usually quiet, sensitive brother.
What Willow had told Linden about reaping fever turned out to be even more accurate than Johanna had expected. Suddenly, a few days before the reaping, half the students on the apprenticeship bus seemed to be sitting in pairs, whispering, laughing and kissing each other. Even from her usual seat near the front of the bus, Johanna had to keep her gaze pointedly on her homework as much as possible to prevent herself catching too many glimpses of the frenzied kissing all around her.
It wasn't just that she didn't want to see it. As much as she didn't want to admit it, Johanna was also a little jealous of her classmates. She desperately wanted to kiss someone, too. But she just couldn't figure out how to broach the subject. How had all her peers found someone to kiss? And so quickly, too.
At dinner that night, when Johanna's parents asked how her day had been, she mentioned the bus ride.
"Ah, reaping fever," her dad replied.
"What?" Justin asked.
"When the reaping is approaching, some kids start to do stuff they've never done before," Arthur explained carefully. "And for some of them - especially the older kids - that includes kissing."
It was strange for Johanna to realise it wasn't just Willow's friends and her peers at school who had been hit by reaping fever; her parents and their friends had apparently experienced it, too.
"Ew!" Jay was disgusted by the idea of kissing, and Justin scrunched his nose up at his brother in agreement.
Against her will, Johanna could feel her cheeks beginning to turn red. She didn't turn her face away from her brothers in time, and they were quick to notice Johanna's reaction to their father's words had been very different from theirs.
"Johanna has the fever!" Jay sang out, teasing her almost immediately.
Justin giggled at his brother, as Johanna protested, "No, I don't!"
Her attempt was futile. Jay proceeded to make kissing sounds, Justin continued to giggle, and Johanna burned even hotter with embarrassment.
"Leave her alone," Johanna's mother warned her sons, barely suppressing her own laugh.
"And if either of you do have a bit of reaping fever, it's nothing to be embarrassed about," Johanna's dad added, looking at both his reaping-aged children.
Johanna stared down at her plate, willing the angry embarrassment in her cheeks to fade. Thankfully, her parents quickly managed to change the topic - though not without Jay managing to make a few more reaping fever jokes, which eventually got him told off.
After dinner, Justin and Johanna tried on their reaping outfits. They both needed significant adjustments. Justin's outfit, a hand-me-down shirt and pants from a neighbour, was too big. Johanna's dress from the year before, on the other hand, was now too small.
Later that evening, with Jay asleep and Justin getting ready for bed, Johanna helped her dad to unpick the seams of her dress, while her mom set to work shortening the legs of Justin's new pants.
Just a few stitches in, Johanna asked her parents, "Is reaping fever real?"
"It depends what you mean by 'real', I suppose," her dad answered. "But it certainly sounds like a lot of your classmates are feeling it?"
"Yeah," Johanna agreed with a grimace. After a brief glance at each of her parents, Johanna asked them, "Did you?"
They both laughed an awkward laugh, flushing with a touch of the embarrassment Johanna had felt earlier.
"You could say that," Juniper answered, diplomatically.
"My first kiss was the day before my third reaping," Arthur gently admitted.
"In middle school ?" Johanna gasped in surprise, and her parents laughed again.
"Just before the end of middle school, yes. And then we didn't speak again until we had to do a project together in high school."
"Oh," Johanna muttered, unsure of how to react to the news.
"That's not to say it was bad!" her father insisted, "I think we just rushed into it a little too fast, because of the pressure of the reaping."
"Do you regret it?" Johanna asked.
"Not really," Arthur answered, thoughtfully, "Perhaps I would have had a better experience if I had waited. But, then again, perhaps I wouldn't."
There was a pause, as Johanna took in the words.
"Are you considering doing something before the reaping, Jo?" Arthur gently asked.
Johanna concentrated hard on the dress, feeling her face burn up again.
"Considering, yeah," she admitted.
"Do you want to talk it through?"
She thought about it for a moment. She did want to talk it through. She didn't want to reveal any embarrassing personal details, though. So, as she accepted her father's offer, Johanna chose her phrasing carefully.
"If I get reaped, and I haven't tried it, I think I'll regret it," Johanna explained. "But I probably won't get reaped. So then, what if I try it, and I regret it, and then I'm stuck with that forever?"
"Well, depending what the thing is," Johanna's mother began, "You're quite unlikely to regret it forever."
Johanna paused again, to think over her mother's point
"You know, Jo, we'd be able to help more if you tell us what it is you're considering doing…" Arthur gently suggested.
Johanna recoiled and shook her head. She was close to her parents, and she trusted them. But she didn't want to talk to them about the specifics of her conundrum.
"That's okay," Juniper soothed.
"Well, you're a clever kid," Arthur tried his best to answer Johanna's question. "You know not to do anything dangerous."
"And you're kind, too," Juniper added. "As long as you think about it properly - and it sounds like you're doing lots of thinking - then I'm sure you'll make a good decision."
"One that you won't regret," Arthur nodded his agreement.
Johanna wasn't convinced it would only take some good thought to find the best decision. Regardless, though, she appreciated the sentiment of her parents' words, and the trust they were putting in her.
"Thanks," she smiled back at them.
Just a few stitches later, Johanna finished the section of the dress she had been working on. Her parents praised her good work, offered to discuss her predicament further, and when she declined, wished her goodnight.
Johanna's thoughts continued circling in her mind as she climbed the stairs, weighing up the risk of her potential regrets. When she was almost at the top, Johanna noticed Justin's door was half open. A second later, he appeared around the edge, eyes nervously darting around to check Johanna was alone.
"Jo," he whispered, and beckoned her inside.
Johanna chuckled to herself as she hurried into her brother's room. Justin was only up a few minutes past his bedtime, but he was acting like he was about to rob a bank.
Once the door was carefully, silently closed, Justin used a quick, clear voice to whisper to his sister, "I heard what you were saying downstairs. Whatever you're thinking of doing before the reaping, you should do it."
Johanna gave her brother a suspicious, encouraging smile, "Why?"
After a moment of deliberation, he relented.
"Don't tell Mom and Dad, but… On Friday, I'm cutting school with Jackson and Ollie. Just so that we can say we did it, if we get reaped."
"You won't get reaped, Justin - you're only twelve!" Johanna insisted.
"So was the boy last year!" Justin argued back. "Anyway. My point is: I'm probably gonna get in waaaaay more trouble than you. So, whatever you're thinking of doing… just do it!"
Johanna smiled lovingly at her brother. It was sweet of him to try to help. Of course, the thing holding her back wasn't wasn't worry about getting in trouble. But, strangely, Justin's encouragement helped regardless. Inspired by her younger brother's boldness, Johanna resolved to work out a way to kiss someone before reaping day.
Chapter 32: Reaping Fever 2
Chapter Text
Johanna's promise to herself to kiss someone before reaping day was all well and good, but despite being one of the smartest kids in her class, she couldn't figure out a plan to make it happen. As school drew to a close on Friday, and with no idea how to go about getting her first kiss, Johanna finally admitted defeat.
"Woods?" Linden suggested, as they packed up their bags.
"Don't you need to catch your train?"
"Yeah, but I don't need to be back 'til Harry gets home," Linden told Johanna. "We've got half an hour."
"Then, yes! Definitely!" Johanna grinned, leading the way out of the classroom. "I don't want to go straight home. Justin is gonna be in so much trouble if Mom's found out he skipped school today."
"See, this is why you're a nicer older sister than Willow - she would LOVE to watch me get in that kind of trouble!"
It was true, and Johanna acknowledged it with a laugh.
"Yeah, but if my parents find out I knew what he was doing, then I'll get in trouble, too!"
"Good point," Linden conceded. They were quiet for a moment as they weaved through the crowd of other students, then as they emerged from the stream towards their woods, Linden told Johanna, "I can't believe little goody-goody Justin skipped school!"
"I know!" Johanna agreed, proudly. "I've never done anything like that!"
"Not true - what about that library book you illegally borrowed?" Linden teased, nudging Johanna's arm.
"Fuck off," Johanna laughed.
The girls began to walk down their usual path in the woods, away from the other high schoolers.
"Did you do anything this year?" Johanna asked Linden, trying to sound casual.
"No," Linden shrugged, then suddenly seemed to remember what Johanna had said a few weeks ago. "Wait, did you ? Did you kiss someone!?"
Linden's excitement made Johanna even more embarrassed to admit she hadn't managed to follow through with her plan.
"No," she awkwardly admitted, feeling her cheeks getting hot already.
"Why not?"
"It was just… too weird."
"Too weird?"
"Too… awkward. I couldn't work out how to… uhh…" Johanna flailed her hands, rather than finishing her sentence.
"You just put your lips on their lips, Mason! It's not difficult!"
"No, I mean before that!" Johanna defended, feeling even more embarrassed that she had accidentally led Linden to think she didn't know the basics of how to kiss. "I didn't know how to start it off, you know? Like, do you just go up to someone and say, 'Hi, would you like to kiss me' ?"
"Well, I'm pretty sure that worked out for some of the people on my bus yesterday," Linden joked, pulling an expression of disgust.
Johanna dropped her bag from her shoulder and slung it up onto its usual branch as she chuckled her agreement. "I'll bear that in mind for next year," she said, dryly.
"'Next year'?" Linden hung her bag next to Johanna's, "You're giving up already?"
"What do you mean, 'already'? The reaping is tomorrow!"
"Exactly. You still have all evening."
"Yeah, but everyone's hanging out with their friends and family this evening."
"Exactly," Linden said again, softer this time.
"Exactly what?"
"You're hanging out with your friend…"
Johanna still didn't understand what Linden was trying to say. Her confused expression drew a sigh from Linden, which morphed into a small quiet laugh.
"What I'm trying to say, Mason, is, ' Hi, would you like to kiss me? '"
Johanna's heart and mind both began to race. She would like to kiss Linden. A lot. She had wanted to kiss her for months . But did she want to kiss her now , like this? She had only wanted to kiss someone before the reaping - she hadn't wanted it to be Linden.
Johanna worried she would regret saying no. She worried she would regret saying yes, too. She worried that it was somehow dishonest to kiss Linden like this, without telling her about her crush. But she also worried she might never get this chance again - to kiss anyone , but also to kiss Linden.
The whole time Johanna struggled to find an answer, Linden watched her intently.
After far too long hesitating, to her surprise, Johanna heard herself say, "Yes."
Linden smiled, and stepped closer.
"But what if it's weird?" Johanna asked, before they got too close.
"Then we stop," Linden answered, with an easy shrug.
Maybe it really was that easy. Linden's simple plan helped Johanna relax just enough to allow their eyes to meet again. The nervousness in Linden's expression made Johanna wonder how much worse hers must appear.
"Ready?" Linden asked, interrupting Johanna's anxious thoughts before they threatened to take over.
Johanna's heart was racing. She darted her eyes down to Linden's lips, then met her gaze again.
"Ready," she confirmed, daring herself to do it.
They each took a small, hesitant step to bring themselves closer. Linden placed one hand to Johanna's waist, gently holding her. With her other hand, she used a single finger to softly tip Johanna's chin up. Then, she leaned in to bring their lips together.
The kiss only lasted a second. But it sent powerful sparks of joy, hope and excitement through Johanna's mind and body. She was almost surprised she couldn't see them, with how strong they felt. They had certainly banished all traces of her earlier nervousness.
The girls remained standing close as their lips parted, their eyes flickering over each other's faces in an urgent attempt to assess the situation.
"Was it weird?" Linden asked, cautiously.
"No!"
Full of relief, happiness and desire, with no nervousness to hold her back, Johanna seized a sudden wave of confidence. She quickly searched Linden's expression one last time, looking for any indication the other girl wanted to stop. Then, she rose onto her tiptoes, and leaned in for another kiss.
To Johanna's delight, Linden didn't hesitate to kiss her back. It wasn't just a one-second peck, this time. Johanna let her instincts take over, her lips moving almost of their own accord in time with Linden's.
When they eventually parted, both girls were slightly out of breath. As reality seeped back in, they both began to giggle.
"How was that?" Linden asked, stepping away to give them more space, still grinning.
"Uhh…"
It was one of the best experiences of Johanna's life. She didn't want to admit that aloud, though, so she struggled to find some more suitable words.
"It was more than I expected - in a good way!"
Linden smiled back at Johanna, blushing slightly. "You're a good kisser, Mason."
Johanna's stomach felt like it was flipping over.
"I, uhh, I mean, I have no comparison, obviously," she stumbled over her reply, "But you are, too!"
Johanna was sure her own cheeks were even more flushed than Linden's. Linden stared down at the floor and giggled again, happy and awkward. The laughter proved infectious, and it was hard to catch each other's eye for a long while.
When, eventually, their giggles died down, Johanna quietly and earnestly said, "Thanks, Lin. I'm really glad I did that before tomorrow."
"Me, too," Linden agreed with a warm smile, which quickly faded into an awkward, hurried explanation, "I mean, I'm glad for you, that you, you know…"
A strange, sudden flicker of hope began to brew within Johanna as she watched Linden stutter. A tiny part of her wanted to believe Linden's mistake was betraying something real. Had Linden wanted to kiss Johanna, too?
"Whatever you say," Johanna teased, torn between burying her terrifying hope, and trying to find out more.
"Fuck off!" Linden laughed, playfully shoving Johanna's shoulder.
The response didn't clarify either way, but Johanna was happy to follow Linden's lead back to normality. She shoved her back, and the girls quickly descended into wrestling - though they were careful not to go hard enough to risk any damage the day before the reaping.
When it was time to leave, the impending reaping seemed to hit them both again. At the street where they parted ways, Johanna darkly wished Linden good luck, with an ironic, " May the odds be ever in your favour! "
"You, too, Mason," Linden replied, too anxious to add any humour to her words.
In the moment before they hugged goodbye, there was a brief hesitation. It didn't go unnoticed. But Johanna was quick to decide that a mild twinge of awkwardness, easily brushed away, was a perfectly acceptable price to pay for her first kiss. They'd get over it.
The hug lasted a long time, as if it might be possible to squeeze the nervousness away from each other.
"It won't be us," Johanna assured Linden, lips brushing against her hair as she spoke..
"It won't be us," Linden agreed, and Johanna felt, rather than saw, her firm nod..
When they finally let go of their embrace, Linden hoisted her bag onto her shoulder, told Johanna, "See you tomorrow," then headed down the street without looking back. Johanna watched her for a long while, before shaking herself free of whatever trance she'd fallen into and heading home.
Johanna replayed the kisses over and over again in her head as she walked home. By the time she reached the door, she didn't have much remaining capacity to feel anxious for the games: she was still too full of excitement about her first kiss.
"You're home early!" Johanna's mother called out from the kitchen, as soon as Johanna stepped into her house.
In typical motherly fashion, it was partly an observation, partly a question.
"Yeah, Linden is travelling to the centre tonight, so we didn't hang out for long," Johanna called back, as she slipped off her shoes. She tucked them neatly onto the shelf, put her bag on the stairs for later, and headed straight for the kitchen.
"Do you want some help?" she asked Juniper.
Through the window, Johanna could see Justin and Jay playing in the backyard. Apparently, her parents hadn't yet found out about Justin skipping school. Johanna wasn't going to be the one to spill the secret, but she was sure it was only a matter of time before the school contacted her parents to inform them.
"There's not much that needs doing," Johanna's mother replied, before giving Johanna a suspicious smile. "Is there something you want to talk about?"
Johanna was too excited to even consider keeping her news secret, and immediately blurted out. "I kissed Linden after school!"
"Oh wow! Was that the first-"
"Yeah!" Johanna answered before her mother even had time to finish her question, nodding excitedly.
Juniper chuckled at Johanna's enthusiasm, sharing in her joy.
"How do you feel, Jo?" she asked, as she rinsed off her hands.
Johanna squealed before replying, "So happy!" and her mother laughed again.
With her hands now clean and dry, Juniper held out her arms, and Johanna immediately launched into them for a hug.
"Tell me all about it," Johanna's Mom said, holding her daughter tight.
"I knew I wanted to kiss someone before reaping day, but I couldn't figure out how to make that happen. And then Linden asked if I'd kissed anyone yet, and I said no, and then she asked if she could kiss me, and then we did! It was just a before-the-reaping thing, but it was so good!" Johanna couldn't articulate the rest of her feelings, and instead made another squealing sound.
"Your first kiss…" Juniper said wistfully, stroking Johanna's hair away from her face. "You all grow up so fast!"
"I'm going to have to tell her soon," Johanna thought aloud, still far too excited to keep her thoughts to herself.
"Yeah?" Juniper encouraged Johanna to explain.
"I really want to kiss her again!"
Juniper laughed again, and squeezed Johanna tight. "Then, yes, you'll probably have to talk to her if you want to make that happen."
"I'll figure it out," Johanna said, still riding the wave of excitement and confidence that the kiss had brought.
"You will!"
Chapter 33: The 69th Reaping
Notes:
Sorry to anyone who read this in the last few days: I have now realised I completely missed a chapter out! It's now in the correct order.
Chapter Text
The ride to Johanna's third reaping was the worst so far. Her worry for Justin outweighed her personal anxieties, and the feeling of having even less control over his fate was much harder to sit with. She had a new understanding of how her parents felt every year.
Neither Justin, Johanna nor their parents had slept very much, and their tiredness didn't make the journey any easier. And on top of it all, Johanna's uncomfortable, slightly-too-small dress only added to her stress.
In the square, Justin and Johanna couldn't queue together; the Weston High School registration desk was four or five stations away from the middle school one. Johanna walked with Justin to the middle school line, left him with friends, and gave him instructions to wait for her after the ceremony. His lip wavered, and Johanna tried her best, one last time, to convince him he would be fine. As she made her way to the high school queue, she worriedly looked back at him every few paces.
Linden was already queuing, nervously looking out through the crowd. She relaxed slightly when she saw Johanna, then relaxed further when Johanna greeted her with a hug.
"How are you feeling?" Johanna asked.
"You asked me that last year, too," Linden chuckled.
"Must be a nervous habit or something."
"You don't need to be nervous."
"That'd be more convincing if you weren't biting your nails," Johanna tried to tease, making the day as normal as she could.
Linden laughed at the call-out, also trying to act as normal as possible despite the circumstances. "We've got plans. And it won't be us, anyway," she tried to convince them both.
"It won't be us," Johanna agreed, sternly.
"Oh! I almost forgot," Linden said, searching her pocket, "Mom told me to give you this." She held a light blue ribbon out to Johanna.
Johanna gave the ribbon a sceptical look, and Linden laughed again.
"I know!" said Linden, "But you're supposed to look young and sweet and weak, right?"
Johanna sighed and rolled her eyes, drawing another giggle from Linden.
"Come here," Linden demanded, and Johanna turned around to allow Linden to tie her hair. When Linden finished, she teased, "So pretty!"
Johanna tried to glare back at her, but they both ended up laughing for a moment, before they realised their laughter was drawing uncomfortable glances from the nervous children around them.
In the awkward silence that followed, Johanna fiddled with the hem of her dress, trying to tug it lower.
"I haven't worn a dress in ages," she complained, when she realised Linden was watching. "I've kinda outgrown both of them."
"If you're using the same plan next year, then you should borrow one of my old dresses. You'll look even smaller if your dress is too big, right?"
"Or I could just wear pants?" Johanna suggested, still annoyed with her outfit.
"No chance! If you're trying to look sweet and weak, then it's gotta be a dress," Linden said, sounding apologetic.
"So you get to wear pants because you're a badass?"
"Exactly," Linden replied, with a wink.
The line shuffled forward, but only a little.
"Is it slower this year?" Johanna asked.
"Yeah, I think so," Linden agreed, craning up to get a better view of the queue.
"I guess there are more students at the high school," Johanna thought aloud.
The line moved forward again, clearing a path for Linden and Johanna to see the front of the queue.
"Hey, look at that," Linden leaned close to Johanna's ear, speaking quietly so as not to be overheard, "Olivia didn't get herself arrested this year!"
From the front of the queue, Olivia and another girl from their school stepped forward, towards the registration desk.
"Probably only because that girl's holding her back," Johanna joked back.
Linden noticed the girls were holding hands just a second before they parted, to walk over to different registration workers.
"Is that her sister or something?" Linden asked.
"No, Olivia only has an older brother. I guess she somehow made some new friends - and also finally grew enough sense to get nervous about the reaping."
In a strange way, watching Olivia behave as nervously as the other children made Johanna feel as though all that bullying about the reaping had been for nothing. It wasn't that she wanted to be bullied again. But it was frustrating to think the bullying may have been avoided if Olivia had just come to her senses about the reaping a couple of years earlier.
Olivia and the other children at the registration desk were directed to their relevant crowd sections, and quickly disappeared into the growing crowds as more students came forward for registration. Eventually, Johanna and Linden reached the front of the line, had their fingers pricked, and were sent to the areas for fourteen and fifteen year olds, respectively.
They briefly lost each other in the large crowd of nervous girls, before reuniting at the far side of the area, at the rope that separated the two groups. This year, Johanna noticed a few other girls doing the same; friends and siblings who were a year apart in age gravitated towards the roped out boundaries, to be close to each other. Many of them also tried to get as close to the centre aisle as possible, to be able to see their brothers and friends in the boys' sections. Johanna and Linden managed to get right up to the edge, and it didn't take too long for them to find their brothers; Asher first, standing tall and calm, and then Justin, so close to the stage he could almost touch it, looking small and terrified - though only as much as the other boys around him.
As the District Seven escort made their way onto the stage to begin the ceremony, Linden leaned in and whispered to Johanna, "Remember the plan."
"You, too," Johanna said, as a hush descended over the nervous crowd.
Despite the tight anxiety filling the square, there was still a half-suppressed wave of quiet laughter from the older half of the crowd when the escort announced the 69th Hunger Games. Johanna knew the number was funny to her peers, but she didn't join in the laughter. She was far too nervous, now, to pretend to be in on the joke.
When the introduction finished, Johanna grasped Linden's hand tight. Linden squeezed it back, even tighter.
"Ladies first!" the escort chirped.
Johanna held her breath as the manicured hand descended into the bowl and selected a slip of paper. It seemed to take forever to unfold. Then, finally, the escort brought their lips to the microphone to announce the reaped girl.
"Olivia Turner."
Johanna and Linden both gasped and spun around, searching Linden's section to find Olivia's familiar face. Neither of them had ever known any of the announced tributes before. It was a strange and horrifying mixture of shock, relief, and excitement, all at once. Someone from their school was about to become known to the whole of Panem.
Before either of them managed to locate Olivia, a hoarse voice called out from somewhere further back, diverting everyone's attention from Linden's section.
"I volunteer."
Johanna and Linden had never seen a volunteer in real life, either. Johanna wasn't even sure district seven had ever had a volunteer. The girls craned their necks, searching for the source of the voice. A moment later, the camera operator located the volunteer. The square's large screens burst into life, showing a tall, sombre girl, pushing a pale, drawn teenager seated in a wheelchair.
As the camera zoomed in on the volunteer's face, a large bump on the side of her neck became visible.
In the centre aisle, a peacekeeper signalled to the girl pushing the volunteer's wheelchair, telling her to stop. Another peacekeeper then took over from her, wordlessly escorting the volunteer to the stage.
After the volunteer had passed the section, Johanna looked around for Olivia again. This time, she was easy to find. The girls around her had shuffled away from her, as if her bad luck might be contagious. Olivia's back was to the stage, and she was leaning over the rope of the section behind her, resting her head on the shoulder of the girl whose hand she had been holding in the registration queue. Johanna couldn't be sure, but from the shaky movement of her shoulders, Olivia seemed to be crying.
"It's been a long time since District Seven had a volunteer," the escort said, as the girl was helped, coughing, to the stage. "Tell me, what's your name?"
The escort waited for the volunteer to finish coughing before offering her the microphone.
"I'm Daisy Haywood," the girl answered, shaking with nerves - or possibly just with the effort of standing.
"Daisy Haywood! And do you know - err -," the escort had to look at the slip of paper again to be reminded of the selected name, "Olivia?"
"No."
"Then, you must be very bra-"
Impatiently, Daisy snatched the microphone from the escort. The other children had never seen anything like it on the reaping stage. They watched in enraptured silence, waiting to see what would happen next.
"I'm sick, and I've been sick for a long time," Daisy explained, breaking off into another coughing fit towards the end of her sentence.
The crowd remained perfectly silent as they absorbed Daisy's words, and waited for her to continue. Even the escort didn't try to interrupt, or recover the microphone from the coughing girl.
"A doctor, here in the centre, said I won't live to the end of summer."
The crowd's silence didn't stop the admiration and sympathy pouring from them towards the stage. Daisy was a hero, sacrificing the final few days of her life to save a total stranger. Johanna, like every other person in the square, was moved.
Daisy kept a tight hold on the microphone as she fell into yet another fit of weak, ragged coughs. When she was able to speak again, she returned the microphone to her lips, and quickly croaked out, "Capitol medicine is my only chance."
Daisy thrust the microphone back to the escort and collapsed back down into her wheelchair, coughing again, exhausted.
Her final line had finally broken the crowd's silence. A quiet, collective gasp had rung through the square, followed by intense whispers. Apparently, the majority of the crowd had jumped to the same wrong conclusion as Johanna. But Daisy hadn't volunteered just to save the life of whichever girl was unlucky enough to be reaped that year. Instead, having found herself in the unusual position that entering The Hunger Games would provide her with a better chance of survival than staying at home, Daisy had volunteered to save herself .
"Isn't it a nice change to see some optimism on the stage!" The escort sang out in praise, while Daisy continued to cough. The crowd didn't respond to the escort's remark, choosing to either remain silent, or continue their hushed conversations.
"Well done, Daisy! Now, onto the boys!"
Once again, silence dawned over the anxious children of district seven. Johanna and Linden squeezed each other's hands tight as the boy's name was selected. A few seconds later, both of their brothers were safe. An eighteen year old boy strode to the stage, trying hard to look brave. Johanna didn't pay much attention to his half-hearted promise to win. She was too busy buzzing with relief that her family and friends were safe for another year. As the ceremony drew to a close, Johanna removed the ribbon from her hair, and glanced back at Olivia again. Olivia was facing the stage now, still leaning back against the girl she had queued up with. Her eyes were red, and her expression was haunted.
As soon as the children were permitted to move, Johanna and Linden rushed over to the younger boys sections. After a relieved reunion with Justin, hugging him tight and assuring him he was okay, Johanna led him to the queue to leave the square, where the rest of their family were waiting for them. Johanna didn't see Linden again until her family reached the train station. Linden was waiting with Harry, Marcus and Asher - at nineteen now, Willow apparently wasn't travelling to Weston this year.
The adults had all met before, but Johanna introduced Asher to her family. He quickly got talking with Justin, and Johanna was surprised to see the boys getting on well, despite their many differences. The two families sat together on the train ride back to Weston; the three boys squashed together on a bench, the adults each took their own seats, and Linden and Johanna stood nearby, holding onto the same railing, their hands barely an inch apart.
"Linden, is that true?" Asher twisted around and kneeled up in his seat, sounding awestruck. "The girl they chose is in your class?"
"I mean, I've only had one class with her all year," Linden replied. "But, yeah."
"Where is she?"
Linden and Johanna both looked around, but couldn't see Olivia.
"She must be in another carriage," Linden replied.
Marcus interrupted to tell Asher that Olivia must be having a very difficult day, and to give her some privacy and peace. Johanna knew he was right. But after everything Olivia had put Johanna through in the second half of middle school, she found it difficult to feel any sympathy for her. It wasn't that Johanna had wanted Olivia to get reaped - she didn't want that for anyone. But at the same time, Johanna couldn't help feeling like Olivia of all people didn't deserve someone to volunteer in her place.
There was no party that evening; the families of the reaping-aged children celebrated as usual, gathering quietly together in their homes. The Masons all went to bed early, exhausted from the stress of the reaping. Then, the following day, life went back to normal.
Chapter 34: After the Reaping
Notes:
Sorry to anyone who read this in the last few days: I have now realised I completely missed a chapter out! It's now added, and in the correct order.
Chapter Text
After breakfast, Johanna and Linden headed to the woods. They were both keen to resume fighting, wrestling and everything else they'd stopped doing in the run up to the reaping. By the time they reached their tree, Johanna was already wiping sweat from her forehead. It was hotter than usual for this time of year, and the lingering humidity was making it feel even worse. She took a sip from her water bottle, then set it down on the dusty ground, next to the usual tree.
The tree.
Suddenly, memories of Friday's kiss - on this very spot - flooded back to Johanna's mind.
"What do you want to do first?" Linden asked.
Johanna turned to face her friend, preparing herself to answer the question despite the way her brain was swimming in remembered emotions. But Linden was busy looking up into the branches, almost as if she was deliberately avoiding Johanna's gaze. An awkward smile crept onto Johanna's face, as she wondered whether Linden's mind was doing the same as hers.
"Whatever," Johanna shrugged, keeping her tone as casual as possible.
Linden still didn't look directly at Johanna as she suggested, "Wanna see how much you've forgotten about wrestling?"
"Sure," Johanna agreed, swinging her arms to warm up.
After a few more seconds had passed, with Linden continuing to stare intently at trees, Johanna sarcastically offered, "Or do you need to start off with something that doesn't require looking at each other?"
"Shut up, Mason!" embarrassment began to creep onto Linden's cheeks as she finally met Johanna's gaze.
Johanna just laughed.
"Is it weird?" She asked, genuine concern seeping into her voice.
"No," Linden shrugged, trying to convince herself as much as Johanna. "Whatever. We'll get over it."
Linden's words unexpectedly stung. Johanna tried to mirror Linden's attempt at a casual shrug as she agreed, "Yeah."
She hoped her pain wasn't obvious in her voice.
Within a couple of minutes, Linden was proved right: all lingering awkwardness from Friday's kiss had gone, replaced with laughter, sweat and wrestling.
Despite some mild concerns, Johanna hadn't forgotten anything about wrestling. After a couple of hours of scrabbling around together on the floor, both girls were drenched in sweat, covered in dust, and their water bottles were already empty.
They decided to head back to Linden's uncles' house to cool off and refill; it was the closer of their two houses, and it had been a while since Johanna had seen Betty. As the girls removed their shoes in the hallway, Linden pointed out, "You're filthy!"
Johanna turned to look over her shoulder, and could see that her sweat-soaked shirt had picked up a lot of dust from the woods. If anything, though, Linden's was even worse.
"So are you!"
Linden twisted to check her shirt, just as Johanna had. She sighed at how much dirt had worked its way into her clothes, then began to pull her top off.
"Linden!" Johanna exclaimed, rolling her eyes. She wasn't surprised any more by Linden's casual attitude towards getting changed. Still, she hadn't expected her friend to trip off her dirty clothes in the hallway.
"What? There's no one in," Linden defended herself. "Marcus is taking Asher back to school, Harry is at work, and these," Linden held her top in her hand as she gestured to Johanna's clothes, "All need to go straight in the wash. You can borrow some of mine until yours are dry."
Linden began to unbutton her shorts, and to her embarrassment, Johanna caught herself watching. She quickly looked away again, shocked at herself. As a distraction, she considered following Linden's lead, and removing her clothes for washing. They were undeniably filthy; there was no way Johanna could sit on the sofa with Betty in her current state.
Before she could overthink it, Johanna pulled her own shirt over her head.
"Oh, so you're not shy any more, now that you've had your first kiss?" Linden teased, stepping out of her shorts.
"I'll get this dirt all over your uncles' house if you really want me to," Johanna shot back, undoing her button and shifting her shorts down.
"Ha! I'd be grounded forever - and then what would you do after school?"
Linden held her hand out for Johanna's clothes, and Johanna passed them over with a smirk.
Linden had been right, on that first sleepover: it wasn't really much different to gym class, after all.
The girls headed to the bathroom, where Linden tossed their clothes into the washing bucket before joining Johanna at the sink. As they rinsed the sweat and dirt away, Johanna once again caught herself looking at Linden - or, more accurately, at her reflection. Damp strands of hair framed her glistening face, shedding a drop of water into a smudge of dirt on her clavicle. Johanna had to make a deliberate effort to concentrate on the water, rather the mirror.
When they were cleaned up, the girls dressed in clean clothes, washed their dirty clothes, and left them out in the sun to dry. It was too hot to go out again, and they soon lost track of time, chatting, playing with the cat, and eating snacks in the cool living room of Linden's house. When Johanna realised it was time to head home, the girls collected their sun-dried clothes from the backyard. This time, Johanna didn't think twice about changing back into her own clothes with Linden in the room.
Chapter 35: The 69th Hunger Games
Chapter Text
On the first day of the 69th Hunger Games, Johanna went to Linden's house to watch the show together. They tuned in about half way through the preamble, settling on the sofa together with Betty sprawled out between them, simultaneously wanting cuddles but hating the extra heat from the humans' bodies.
Volunteers from Seven were rare, so Daisy was receiving considerable attention from the announcers. Despite her dismal training score of four, the Capitol citizens had fallen for Daisy's hopefulness and determination. Sponsors were lined up ready to support her - on the condition she made it through the first few hours, of course.
Highlights from the tribute interviews the previous night showed Daisy looking and sounding considerably healthier than she had on reaping day. She had walked across the stage to her interview unaided, and there were only a couple of small coughs in the clips that played. The determined girl told Caesar she had received a few treatments so far, and while she wasn't cured, the medicine had given her a big energy boost, and she was ready to fight.
"Do you really think she can do it?" Johanna asked Linden, as some less interesting highlights began to play.
"Probably not," Linden said, sounding both wise and disappointed. "Whatever medicine she was taking probably won't be available in the arena. So when her energy runs out…"
"Yeah, I know," Johanna concurred, realising she'd really known it all along. "She just sounds so convincing!"
"Mom says that believing you can win is one of the most important skills of a victor," Linden reminded Johanna. "So, if she believes it hard enough… who knows?"
They continued chatting and watching the show, and then settled into excited silence for the countdown. Shots of the tributes filled the screen, Johanna and Linden both searched for Daisy. They found her stationed between the boy from District Ten (a sturdy sixteen year old with a training score of eight), and the boy from District Three (a thirteen year old who Johanna and Linden had already discounted as a contender).
As the countdown hit four, the younger boy turned away from the cornucopia, facing the sand dunes directly behind him. The boy from Ten, meanwhile, was already eyeing up the supplies in the centre. Daisy was still looking around at the other tributes and the arena, seemingly undecided. Then, when the countdown hit two, she settled into the same stance as the boy from Ten - preparing to run inwards.
"No, no, no, no, no," Linden mumbled, as both girls watched Daisy prepare to run inwards.
At the sound of the start cannon, about half the tributes immediately ran away from the cornucopia. The other half - including Daisy - all ran inwards. Within seconds, some of the faster tributes were able to begin collecting the low-value supplies that were strewn around the centre of the arena. A pair of socks, a small water bottle, a packet of food no larger than a snack. Then, the girl from Four picked up a knife. She barely broke her stride as she launched it directly at the neck of the District Ten boy.
He fell almost instantly, collapsing forward from the momentum of his sprint. The camera shot briefly zoomed on him crashing to the ground, blood pouring from his mouth. On all accounts, he had been more likely to win than to be the first to die. But one lucky throw was all it took.
An aerial shot filled the screen next, and Johanna and Linden leaned in closer to watch Daisy. She was by far the slowest runner heading into the centre, several paces further out than any other tributes. And on top of that, she wasn't even running straight. In fact, it looked as though she was running towards the District Ten boy's body.
The aerial shot gave way to footage of other tributes collecting more of the strewn supplies for a few seconds, and then the screen split to show Daisy pulling the knife from the dead boy's neck, covering her hand in blood as she did so.
"Smart!" Linden commented, with a renewed sense of optimism for the girl from her District.
A knife was a useful tool to have. Picking one up before getting away from the bloodbath could be a good move.
But a second later, to Johanna and Linden's dismay, Daisy continued jogging forward
"...or not," Johanna added. "Why is she heading in?"
"I don't know! Mom must have told her to get out of there!"
As Linden voiced her frustrations, Daisy stumbled and fell.
The screen showed four different shots all at once: a zoomed-out shot, showing the position of all the converging tributes; a close-up of the careers assembling, defending the supplies from other tributes; the District Six girl chasing the District Nine girl towards the woods; and Daisy, lying on the floor, a few paces from the District Ten boy.
Daisy made no attempt to get up. In fact, she barely moved, except to bring her bloodied hands up to her neck.
"Is she faking?" Linden asked, excitedly, as Daisy smeared the boy's blood over herself.
"Genius," Johanna murmured, her eyes glued to the screen.
In entranced silence, the girls watched Daisy position the knife under her bloodied neck, and then lie completely still.
"It's risky," said Linden. "If the careers confirm their kills, she's done for."
"True," Johanna agreed, "But she just spent a few days in training with them, right? Maybe she decided they're stupid enough not to check."
"I hope so."
They both watched nervously as the initial fighting died down. By the end of it, seven tributes lay on the ground, bloody and unmoving. While the career tributes selected items from the mountain of supplies and packed them into large, sturdy backpacks, the viewers at home were shown which tributes were dead: both from Five, the boys from Six and Ten, and the girls from Eleven and Twelve were all dead in the centre. Not too far away, the girl from Nine lay dead in the small wooded area, and the boy from Twelve lay dead on a rock.
The summary statistics were a surprise: Daisy was awarded the first kill. Apparently it was her removal of the knife that had killed the boy from Ten, rather than the initial impact. While she may not have been trying for the honour, being the first entry on the score sheet could only be good news in terms of gaining sponsorship. Hope for Daisy continued to bloom in Johanna's heart.
The tributes in the arena knew none of this information, of course; they heard nothing but the cannons. Eight cannons provided more than enough cover for Daisy, though, still lying motionless on the grass.
It took the careers - comprising the six tributes from districts One, Two and Four - almost half an hour to neatly pack everything they wanted, before heading out towards the rocky terrain to begin hunting. As soon as they began moving away, Daisy's eyes opened. She watched them disappear into the distance, waited another minute or so for good measure, and then got up. She stuffed the knife into her pocket, and ran as fast as she could over to the supplies.
For the next few minutes, the show mainly focussed on three things: the careers making their way over the rocks, the District Six girl tending to a deep cut on her arm, and Daisy, collecting supplies. Daisy added some smaller items to her pockets, then grabbed a backpack and began to fill it with packets of dehydrated food. When the bag was half full, Daisy headed around to another section of supplies, and grabbed a few more items. Finally, she stuffed a sleeping bag into the backpack, despite the fact that there wasn't quite enough room for it. Instead of struggling to close the bag properly, Daisy used a length of rope to tie a large waterproof jacket over the top of the bag, securing everything inside. She struggled slightly to pull the bag on, but seemed to find her balance relatively quickly. Then, she grabbed a large, full water bottle with one hand, an axe with the other, and headed for the trees as fast as she could.
Johanna and Linden were stunned. It was the first time that either of them had ever seen a District Seven tribute get so much screen time. Over the next half hour, the broadcast showed various tributes walking, hiding, and fighting. The careers found the boy from Nine, and used him for target practice for a few minutes before he finally died. After a difficult walk through the forest, Daisy began to climb a tree. She was shown resting half way up, with her supplies hanging off a branch, just like Johanna and Linden's school bags in their woods.
A few minutes later, the show caught up with Daisy again. She had continued to climb, reaching high up into thin branches that sagged dangerously under the weight of her slight frame. The commentators speculated that she might fall, but she didn't. She just looked around the arena for a while, then carefully shuffled back down to her supplies, which she had left in some sturdier branches.
The next time the show caught up with Daisy, she was constructing a sort of nest in the tree. A few minutes later, she was still working at it. Johanna and Linden began to lose interest; they had watched for hours, and the drama was calming down. The girls worked on some homework for a while, and then Johanna stayed for dinner, where she and Linden caught Harry and Marcus up on Daisy's interesting first day in The Games.
After dinner, they watched a few more minutes of the Hunger Games broadcast. There wasn't much of interest happening live, but while they had been eating, the careers had walked into a simple but effective trap built by the girl from Three. The boys from One and Four had been badly injured by it, and the other careers hadn't hesitated to finish them off, despite their pleas.
"Losing even one career so early can really change the games, let alone two!" Linden excitedly explained to the room.
Daisy, meanwhile, had settled in her tree on the other side of the arena. There were only two other tributes in the relatively small woods: the girl from Six, who was busy constructing a ground-level shelter from plastic and plants without much use of her injured arm, and the boy from Eleven, who had constructed his own nest only a few trees away from Daisy's. None of them seemed to be aware of the others, and Johanna wished as hard as she could for it to stay that way.
It may have only been a few hours since the games had begun, but Johanna's hopes for Daisy were already soaring.
Chapter 36: The Closed Door
Chapter Text
The next morning, Johanna headed out early, eager to get an update on The Games. Except for the mandatory viewings, the Masons didn't watch at home. Despite her curiosity, Johanna didn't want to subject her parents and Justin - who all strongly disliked the show - to the morning round-up.
"Are there any updates?" Johanna asked, the moment she met Linden at their usual corner.
"The careers from Two turned already!" Linden's excitement to deliver the news was infectious. "They took out the girl from One and both from Four while they slept!"
"Sounds like Daisy was right about them being stupid," Johanna joked, darkly.
"Well, they don't know about the other pack."
"What other pack?"
"Our boy joined up with Eight!" Linden excitedly told Johanna. "They all had pretty average training scores, but they're all eighteen, and they seem smart."
It was an interesting development, full of promise for an unusual games. But the main thing on Johanna's mind was District Seven's other tribute, and she didn't want to wait another second for news.
"And what about Daisy?" she asked so fast she almost fell over the words.
"She basically just slept since we stopped watching," Linden replied, a sympathetic tinge of disappointment clear in her voice. "She had picked up some pain medicine at the cornucopia, so she just ate some food, took some pills, and slept. She climbed down to go to the lake for water this morning, while most of the other tributes were still asleep. But that's it."
"I guess it's probably for the best - she doesn't stand much chance of being able to run away from any of the others," Johanna tried to console herself at the dull news.
"True," Linden pondered, "I guess she might just hide out for as long as she can."
"That's what your mom told me to do," Johanna shrugged her agreement.
The girls continued to discuss the Games as they walked the rest of the way to the woods. A tiny smile crept its way over Johanna's face as their tree came into view. Over a week after their kiss, Johanna was still thinking about it. There was no longer any awkwardness associated with it, though. It was nothing but a pleasant memory, now.
The girls spent their morning climbing, fighting, and, inspired by Daisy, attempting to create a shelter within a tree. It was much harder than Daisy made it look. When the day began to get too hot, they headed back to Linden's house for lunch. They watched the highlights show as they ate, but nothing else of note had happened since Linden's morning roundup.
They both had homework to finish, and Johanna hadn't brought hers with her. As she reluctantly began to get ready to leave, she suggested Linden could some to hers to work together. Linden threw her things in her bag and joined Johanna on the sunny walk home, happy that their day together wasn't over.
When the girls arrived, they said quick hellos to Justin and Mrs. Mason, explained they had homework to finish, and headed upstairs. However, when Johanna was only half way up the stairs, her mother called out to her.
"Jo?"
"Yeah?"
Johanna's mother beckoned for her to come closer. Surprised and confused, Johanna told Linden continue on up to her bedroom, shuffled past her friend, and jogged down the rest of the stairs to her mom.
In a low voice, Juniper told Johanna, "We can talk about this properly later, but for today, keep your door open, please."
Johanna's mouth fell open in outrage. She was momentarily speechless, opting instead to simply give her mother a confused, offended look. Juniper simply gave her daughter an apologetic shrug in reply, and reiterated, "We'll discuss it properly when you've got time."
A frustrated huff left Johanna's mouth. She definitely didn't have time to discuss it now - especially not with Linden waiting upstairs, able to overhear. She chewed her lip for a moment, trying to decide what to say or do next. Then, she stomped up the stairs.
"You good?" Linden asked as Johanna approached the room.
Johanna could feel her face glowing with anger and embarrassment.
"Yeah," she answered, unconvincingly.
On autopilot, Johanna had taken hold of the door handle as she'd walked into her room. She paused, briefly considering shutting it despite her mother's request. However, she quickly decided it wasn't worth it. They didn't need privacy to do their homework, and Johanna didn't want to risk her mother noticing the closed door; if her mom came in to remind Johanna to leave the door open, Linden might have questions. And Johanna really didn't want to have to explain why her mother was suddenly insistent on keeping the bedroom door open.
When they finished working, the girls went out to the backyard to throw Johanna's axe. Justin joined them for a while, too, and was interested to hear about the tree shelter they'd tried to build that morning. They made loose plans to all work on one together, one day.
After almost a year of practice now, all three of them were all able to consistently hit the centre of the target. At long range, though, Johanna was still much more accurate than the others.
Linden headed home before dinner, leaving Johanna to spend the evening glowering at her mother. Over dinner, her father noticed the tension, and asked what had happened. Not wanting to discuss the matter in front of her brothers, Johanna mumbled, "Nothing."
Juniper sighed, and said, "We can discuss it whenever you want, Jo."
Still fuelled by her anger, Johanna was feeling confrontational. "Come on, then," she told her mother, getting up from the table.
Ever since she had learned enough words to hold a conversation, Johanna had tended to be quite direct with those she felt confident around. She wasn't often the one to initiate difficult discussions, though. Juniper's surprise at Johanna's suggestion gave Johanna a petty sense of pride at having caught her mother off guard.
To her credit, though, Juniper stayed true to her word of having the discussion whenever Johanna wanted. She calmly put down her cutlery, and agreed, "Okay."
They headed upstairs to Johanna's bedroom together, with Johanna leading the way, once again stomping out some of her rage as she ascended the stairs. Without pausing to wait for her mother, Johanna stalked over to her bed, leaving Juniper to gently close the door behind them.
"So that's allowed, now?" Johanna snapped, sarcastically.
Johanna's mom closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Jo," she began, her tone a gentle warning.
Johanna quietly seethed on her bed, glaring at her mother intensely. "What happened to 'she's still your best friend, the other thing doesn't change that' ?" Johanna challenged. She had replayed the moment in her head enough times that she could have quoted her mother's words exactly. But, for some reason, she felt too embarrassed to say the word 'feelings' .
Johanna's mom sighed, and asked, "May I sit?"
Johanna moved over a few inches, packing as much attitude as possible into the action as she created space for her mother to join her on the bed.
Once they were both settled, Johanna's mother gently told Johanna, "I meant it, when I said it was just for today. We should have talked about what to do in this situation, but with the reaping, and Justin skipping school, and you being out in the evenings, we just hadn't had the chance yet. So, when you and Linden came back here today, I had to make a quick decision."
"No, you didn't!" Johanna argued back.
"I'm not saying I made the right decision," Johanna's mother pointed out.
Johanna glared at her mother again, but more softly this time.
Johanna's mom sighed again, then said, "You want to know what happened to what I said before - what happened to Linden still being your best friend, despite how you feel about her?"
Johanna continued to glare. She wanted to hear her mother's answer to the question, but she didn't want to voice her desire.
After a pause, Juniper continued. "Well, Jo," she said, trying her best to soften the blow she knew she was about to deliver. She hesitated, giving into her awkwardness for a moment, before explaining to her daughter, "What happened is: you kissed her."
Johanna groaned. "It was just a reaping fever thing! It wasn't a real kiss! It didn't change anything!"
"Didn't it?" Johanna's mother challenged, gently. "Because when you came home that day, you said you wanted to tell her how you feel."
Johanna squirmed with discomfort, and took a few seconds to figure out how to explain her feelings to her mom. "I thought I did, that day. But now that the reaping is over, I don't think I want to any more. Not yet, anyway."
"That's okay, Jo."
"Yeah," Johanna's embarrassment and outrage made her snap, "I know!"
Juniper didn't flinch at her daughter's release of anger. She paused for a moment to let Johanna cool down, and then patiently asked, "So, what does this mean, Jo? What are you to each other now?"
"She's still just my friend, Mom."
"Your friend who you have a crush on, and who you kissed," Juniper corrected.
"But only once! Because of the reaping!"
"Okay," Johanna's mom held her hands up.
"Nothing has changed, Mom. I promise."
Johanna looked her mother in the eye as she said it, desperately trying to show that she was telling the truth. Her mom slowly nodded her acceptance.
"Okay. I believe you. I'm sorry, Jo, for overreacting."
"I thought you trusted me," Johanna grumbled, only understanding it to be the main cause of her outrage as she formed the words.
"I do, Jo," Juniper wrapped an arm around her daughter's shoulder, and held her tight. " We do. But… well, we can only trust you to do the right thing once we've established what the right thing is."
In the pause that followed, Johanna reluctantly accepted her mother's point.
"So," Johanna's mother continued, " Let's decide that. What do you think the right thing is?"
"To be allowed to close my door to do my homework!" Johanna replied, still frustrated and angry, but a little less so than earlier.
"I agree," her mom said, calmly. "When your friends come over, you can hang out in your room with your door closed. But what about if, one day, you bring someone home who's… more than a friend?"
Johanna almost laughed at her mother's unnecessary generalisations. Linden was the only friend she'd brought home for over a year now. And Linden was the only person she'd ever wanted to be 'more than friends' with. However, Johanna could already feel her cheeks burning with fresh embarrassment. It would have been worse, she realised, if her mother had named Linden specifically.
There wasn't an obvious answer to her mother's question, and Johanna hesitated for a long time trying to work it out.
"Can you understand why your father and I wouldn't want you to be in your bedroom, with the door closed, with someone who you're more than just friends with?"
Johanna nodded, too uncomfortable, now, to make eye contact with her mother.
"Whether that's Linden or anyone else," Johanna's mother reiterated. "So, whenever you start having relationships like that, can we trust you to tell us?"
Johanna nodded again.
"Can I hear you say it, please?"
Johanna fidgeted again, then replied, "If I start dating someone, or whatever, then I'll tell you and Dad about it, and I'll keep my door open if we go to my room."
"Thank you, Jo. And until then, you can continue hanging out with your friends as normal."
Johanna shot her mother a sarcastic look at her use of the word "friends", and her mom smiled warmly back at her.
"Is there anything else you want to talk about, while we're here?"
"No," Johanna shook her head, still feeling the lingering anger
"I really am sorry, Jo. It was partly a misunderstanding, but partly I just made a mistake today. I promise your Dad and I will try to do better."
Johanna knew it was true, and it only took another second until she had forgiven her mom. She wrapped her arms around Juniper in a tight hug, and Juniper hugged her back.
"Thanks," Johanna mumbled against her mother's shoulder.
"I'm sorry I didn't show it today, but I really do trust you, Jo."
"I know, mom."
"I love you."
"Love you, too, Mom."
Chapter 37: Daisy
Chapter Text
At school the next day, Daisy's impact on the teens of Weston was clear: for the first time in Johanna's life, the lunch hall was almost silent for the Hunger Games highlights broadcast. However, despite her intriguing beginning, Daisy had mostly remained within her tree nest ever since. The only notable developments were a single trip down to collect water, and a sponsor gift of bread and soup.
The next few days passed much less uneventfully than the opening weekend. The majority of the tributes were hiding - mostly alone, except the two remaining careers and the pack of eighteen year olds from Seven and Eight. On Tuesday, the girl from Ten, who had sustained some mild injuries and was hiding near the edge of the arena, died from dehydration.
The careers were the only tributes moving any significant distance, attempting to hunt down their competitors. As the end of the first week approached, they had made their way through the woods multiple times. They had even walked right under the trees that housed Daisy and the District Eleven boy. But they apparently hadn't ever thought to look up high enough to find the tributes they were searching for.
Coverage of Daisy, doing little other than napping and working through her supply of drugs and food, grew less frequent. Her sponsorship had dwindled, too; she had received hot food on the first two days, then sandwiches, then just crackers. However, the early emphasis on Daisy's unusual story had garnered much support among the children of District Seven. So, despite Daisy's diminishing airtime, there was still more talk of the Hunger Games throughout the school than ever before.
Friday's highlights show centred around an overnight chase between the careers and the District Three boy, from the night before. Despite his young age and small frame, the boy was significantly more skilled at running over the sand dunes than the career tributes. He had also fashioned a shield from the lid of one of the empty supply crates, and easily deflected the weapons thrown at him. The chase lasted far longer than anyone had expected, making up for the relative lack of thrills from the last few days. However, there was never any point that the audience thought that boy might get away. When the career tributes eventually caught up to him, his death was mercifully fast.
With no other action from the end of the week, there was a high risk of disappointed viewers over the weekend. Linden predicted the gamemakers would fabricate an event to reignite interest in the show, and she was soon proven right. A dense wave of stinging insects was to be released into the woods. Johanna, Linden and Betty settled in to watch the action unfold live, from Linden's living room.
To Johanna's dismay, Daisy's position meant she would be the first to encounter the swarm. Every muscle in her body felt tense as, helplessly, she watched the frenzied cloud approach Daisy's tree. But Daisy appeared to hear the insects moments before they reached her. She moved calmly and efficiently to completely envelope herself within her sleeping bag and waterproof coat, shielding herself from every single bug that tried to find a body to sting.
The anticlimactic nature of Daisy's simple solution soon sent the engineered bugs elsewhere. The girl from Six, who had moved her camp to the far edge of the woods yesterday, was the next target. However, she too, navigated the threat without much drama. Not very many of the insects ventured down to ground level, apparently preferring to stay up higher in the trees, closer to the rest of their kind. For a while, the girl simply watched the handful of insects around her, waiting to decide her next move. When, eventually, one of the bugs came close enough to deposit a painful sting on her head, the girl quickly threw some leafy twigs on her fire. The resultant smoke was a successful deterrent to the bugs, which buzzed back up higher, away from the smoke and the tribute. By lucky coincidence, the sight of the smoke was even fairly well masked by the greyish swarm of insects. Unless they managed to smell the burning leaves, the careers probably weren't going to be drawn to the girl's camp by her bug-repellent fire.
With two failed attack attempts, the insects seemed to work even harder on their next target: the District Eleven boy. The swarm descended upon his nest in what looked like a coordinated event. The boy seemed to quickly realise there were fewer insects at ground level, and began to skillfully climb down his tree, away from the worst of the attack. However, as he descended, he received several stings to his exposed hands and face. The pain from the stings, rapid swelling of his fingers, and general sense of panic all conspired against him.
For a moment, a clip of Daisy played on the screen. She had created a small gap in her coat and sleeping bag cover, and was peeking through it over at the boy and insects. She didn't say or do anything. She barely moved, protecting herself as she bore witness to the child's torment.
Within seconds, the boy's expert descent of the tree had grown clumsy. After four nail-biting slips, he finally lost his grip, just a few feet from the floor.
The distance was certainly survivable. Johanna thought she had probably fallen a similar distance before, and walked away with nothing but bruises. However, the boy wasn't having a lucky day. He crashed to the ground with a shrill, childish scream, full of pain and fear.
The replay showed a better view of his poor landing, making Johanna and Linden wince. His left leg had crumpled beneath him against the hard ground. It had been so badly broken, the splintered shin bone had pierced through his pants.
With an expression of absolute terror, the boy realised his scream had called out his location to the careers. He launched into action, whimpering with every painful movement, as he used his swollen, stung hands to drag himself along the forest floor, the foot of his broken leg flopping as it trailed over the dirt.
Johanna felt for him. She wished he wasn't suffering like this. But, for Daisy to live, he had to die sooner or later. So, her feelings for the boy were superceeded by her dismay that his chosen hiding spot was within clear view of Daisy's tree.
As far as the viewers knew, at least, the boy had no idea Daisy was there. Still, Johanna resented him for potentially drawing the careers' attention to her favourite tribute.
As the boy tried to camouflage himself in shrubs, the show also began to follow the careers. Excitedly, they were gathering up their things, preparing to run across the arena towards the sound of the scream.
The most direct path from the careers' camp to the scream was straight through the open ground of the cornucopia. Either they weren't worried about being seen, or the careers hadn't considered the possibility of a trap - or even of a spontaneous plan inspired by the boy's scream. The arrogant district two tributes just ran straight ahead, calling out taunts as they went.
Building tension perfectly, the show then cut to the eighteen year olds from District Seven and Eight. They had hidden themselves well in the dunes, and were quietly communicating with whispers and hand gestures, stealthily positioning themselves to be able to observe the brazen career tributes without being seen themselves. All three of them watched the careers spray each other with bug repellent, and then jog into the woods. Then, quietly, they concocted a plan.
They agreed to wait in the dunes, staying safely away from the screaming and buzzing - though they planned to move to a better position, closer to the woods. Hopefully, there would be canons, and the careers wouldn't return. However, if they survived, then their potential exits were almost all visible. From their vantage points, the pack would be able to assess the careers' states. As long as at least one of them seemed injured, or even just sufficiently tired, then the pack would attack. They settled in to wait, sipping water in readiness to fight.
From Weston, Linden approved of their plan.
With the sound of the bugs to guide them, it didn't take the careers long to locate the District Eleven boy's drag marks through the woods, and follow them to his hiding place. The camera briefly showed Daisy again, sitting completely still in her cocoon, just metres away from the action. Then, the show's full attention returned to the boy with the broken leg, and the children preparing to kill him.
He lay on the floor, blood soaking the fabric around the stomach-churning point of bone reaching for the treetops. He desperately begged the careers for his life, and even fruitlessly attempted to fight back with his swollen, blistering fists. The careers both briefly mocked him, imitating his pleas. Then, the District Two boy drove a spear through the younger child's heart.
Both girls recoiled at the violence on the screen, despite knowing it was coming.
The loud outfits and joyous voices of the announces suddenly blasted into the room, marking an end to the moment. They made brief statements about reaching the final eight on day eight, as well as some stock comments about the recently deceased tribute. Then, as fast as it had switched to the world of the capitol, the screen plummeted back into the greys, greens and browns surrounding the careers.
The tributes from District Two briefly checked around for supplies, searching the woods for the dead boy's things. They didn't think to search high in the trees, though, and therefore found nothing at all to scavenge. They soon came to the conclusion that the bugs must have driven any other tributes from the woods, and began making their way back towards the cornucopia.
Linden shook her head in disgust as the careers followed the same path they had taken to get in.
"They have to know it's dangerous," she said, half to herself, as the tributes paid no consideration to the predictability of their movements, or the exposure they were willingly heading towards.
As if to prove Linden's point, the careers' journey out of the woods was interspersed with clips showing the larger pack preparing to move.
The shots grew a little repetitive, and the girls began to chat as their interest dwindled.
"This is the first time in like twenty-something years that two District Seven tributes have made the final eight," Linden told Johanna, earning herself a fascinated smile.
It was incredible to Johanna how Linden's mind managed to hold so many facts about The Games. Linden barely seemed to notice her friend's reaction, though, as she tried to make sense of the hand movements with which the eighteen year olds were communicating.
When the careers emerged back into full view in the cornucopia, the tributes in the dunes expertly, silently followed them, still communicating mostly with their hand gestures.
Johanna mostly missed it, though. She wasn't sure how long she had been watching Linden watch the Hunger Games, but it had clearly been long enough for Linden to notice.
"What?" Linden demanded, turning to face Johanna.
A sudden spike of fear slashed through Johanna, as if she'd been caught doing something wrong. Making matters worse, the answer to Linden's question flashed, uninvited, into Johanna's mind. There was no chance in hell she was going to say it aloud, though.
Instead, with her cheeks burning, she teased, "You're such a dork!"
"Takes one to know one," Linden childishly, lovingly fired back.
After a while, it became clear that the pack of eighteen year olds in the dunes were simply observing the careers, rather than planning an attack. It was probably for the best, given that the careers hadn't taken any damage in the woods. Still, it made for boring TV.
Replays of the insect event began to play, and Johanna and Linden eventually decided to make a start on their history homework. They had also planned to work on perfecting a new fight move today, as well as devising a way to defend it. But the afternoon heat was too intense and persistent to spend much time outside, and hours instead became filled with homework and periodic love broadcast check-ins, disappointingly filled with tributes laying low.
Eventually, with no sign of the heat abating, Johanna and Linden opted to get all of their homework done, in the hope that the following day might be cool enough to train outside. As usual, Johanna happily accepted an invitation to stay for dinner, and stayed until the vet last minute before she had to go home.
When they met in the woods the next morning, Linden gave Johanna an update on the morning broadcast.
"The pack of eighteen year olds attacked the careers in their cave last night!"
"All that observation finally paid off?"
"Well, sort-of? All five of them are injured, and hiding."
It was disappointing to hear that three against two, and with the element of surprise on their side, too, hadn't been enough to take out the careers.
"And what about Daisy?" Johanna asked.
Linden sighed, and her expression instantly put Johanna on edge.
"The girl from Six found her this morning. Looks like she's waiting her out, ready to attack the next time she leaves the tree. Daisy doesn't even know she's being watched."
Johanna was more upset by the news than she had expected to be. "Did she already get water?" Johanna asked, trying to hold out hope that Daisy might make it just a little further.
"Yeah, that's how the girl from Six found her - she saw her at the lake, and followed her back."
"Well, a lot could happen in a day," Johanna tried to remain optimistic, but she was worried for the tribute she'd grown to love.
The girls spent a while training together, making good progress on the move they had wanted to practise. Although the heat wasn't as bad as it had been on the previous day, Johanna and Linden still went through all their water within a couple of hours. They headed back to Linden's house, intending to refill their water, have a quick rest, and head back out again. However, when they turned the TV on just in case there was anything interesting happening in The Games, they discovered they had arrived in just in time to catch the action.
Daisy, as usual, was napping after having taken a dose of medication. The District Six girl had managed to throw a rope over a branch slightly higher than Daisy's nest, and was slowly climbing up the tree. Every few seconds, she fiddled with a metal contraption on the rope, apparently keeping herself secure as she climbed. Throughout the ascent, despite all the clicking and rustling, Daisy didn't stir.
As she approached the nest, the District Six girl readied her knife. Johanna and Linden held their breaths, preparing themselves for a fight.
But the girl just hung there.
"What's she doing?" Johanna whispered to Linden, as if her voice might reach the girls on the screen.
"Deciding what to do, I think," Linden whispered back.
Eventually, after spending many seconds suspended in the air, the girl slowly replaced the knife in her pocket. Johanna's relief was immense. The girl wasn't going to kill Daisy. Instead, the girl took a breath, and then lunged forward.
With one hand, she grabbed Daisy's backpack. With the other, she released a lever on the bulky metal contraption on her ropes, sending her whizzing quickly towards the floor. The noise finally woke Daisy. She instinctively grabbed the axe next to her, looking around for danger. She was still drowsy from the medication, though, and moving a little too slowly.
The ropes slid quickly through the metal contraption, taking the girl down almost as quickly as if she'd fallen. She was almost at the floor by the time Daisy finally located her. Not wasting any more time, Daisy swung her axe at the rope, causing it to fray and snap within a second. It was too late, though; the District Six girl's feet were already on the floor. She fell backwards as a result of the lost tension, and had to protect her face from the falling rope with her injured arm. But she recovered quickly, hurriedly collecting her climbing equipment in full view of Daisy. Johanna doubted she had even sustained a bruise from the fall.
As the girl began to run away, still stuffing ropes into her bag, Daisy finally realised her supplies were gone. She looked around desperately for a while, as if perhaps they had just fallen, rather than been stolen. Then, defeated, she simply settled back down into the nest, clutching her axe.
"What's she doing!? How can she sleep?" Johanna's voice was desperate. She had become far too attached to Daisy, and watching her apparently give up was too much.
"Think about it," Linden replied, her voice calm. "Neither of them made much noise, or did anything to attract other tributes. If the District Six girl had wanted to kill Daisy, she already would've done it. And those pills are probably still making Daisy really tired. I know it sounds weird, but sleeping might be the best thing she can do right now."
Linden's logical arguments made perfect sense, despite being in total opposition to Johanna's instincts.
"You're so good at this stuff," Johanna gushed, once again incredibly impressed by her friend's knowledge.
"I've been learning it my whole life," said Linden, with a modest shrug, "You'll catch up."
The next day, Johanna nervously asked Linden for an update about Daisy before school.
"She's alive," Linden replied, tentatively.
"But?"
"But the careers are hunting her."
Linden gave Johanna a quick summary of the morning's events as they walked to registration. During the early hours of the morning, Daisy had wrapped up her sleeping bag and coat - the only items she still had, aside from her axe and whatever was in her pockets - and headed for the cornucopia. It had taken her a long time to make it through the woods. Walking was much more of a struggle for her now than it had been on the first day. Under the cover of darkness, Daisy had made it all the way to the dwindling pile of supplies at the cornucopia, and collapsed next to one of the boxes, coughing and struggling to catch her breath. Unfortunately, the coughing was just loud enough to wake the careers, who went to investigate.
Daisy had worked as quickly as she could to stash food and an empty waterskin into her sleeping bag, and was already escaping back to the woods when the careers finally spotted her. Still struggling from their injuries after the confrontation with the other pack, the careers weren't able to catch up to Daisy before she disappeared between the trees. By the time Harry had turned off the TV and made Linden leave for school, Daisy was still hiding while the careers hunted her down.
The lunch hall was eerily silent for the lunchtime broadcast, with the majority of the students at Weston High School keen for an update on Daisy.
The cheerful announcement that the Games were down to the final seven added even more tension to the room, soon followed by collective dismay when Daisy's picture was displayed. Sighs and tears filled the room, with friends seeking comfort from each other and teachers checking on their students.
Johanna's shoulders slumped at the news, and her eyes soon began to sting. Before her first year had fallen, Linden had pulled her into a comforting hug.
The highlights reel showed the events that Linden had described that morning, and then showed the careers finally discovering Daisy's hiding place. As they jogged towards her, both limping slightly, the boy readied his spear in his hand. The girl launched a knife, which narrowly missed Daisy's shoulder.
Realising that she had definitely been found, Daisy stood up and threw her axe at the closest tribute - the boy. It wasn't the most powerful or accurate throw, but at relatively close range, it didn't need to be. The boy instinctively moved to protect his face, and the axe took a large chunk out of his forearm.
Daisy had begun to run the moment the weapon left her hand, but the District Two girl's second throw was better than her first. Daisy immediately collapsed from the force of the knife hitting her, and it wasn't long before the girl caught up and finished her off.
"She may have helped our boy out," Linden mumbled to Johanna, trying to find a silver lining. "That career can't use his left arm any more. He might even bleed out."
It wasn't much comfort.
The afternoon's lessons were subdued, filled with collective grief over the girl they had all held so much hope for. When Johanna got home, Jay greeted her by telling her, "Justin's upset."
Johanna walked into the living room to find her mother consoling her brother, his cheeks streaked with half-dry tears.
"What's the matter?" Johanna asked, worried that something truly awful must have happened.
"I thought she was gonna win," Justin mumbled, before bursting into a fresh round of tears.
Johanna settled next to him on the sofa, and enveloped him in a hug. "I know. I wanted her to win, too."
Justin leaned into Johanna, crying into her shoulder. Johanna squeezed her eyes tight against her own tears. It was a complicated mixture of disappointment, grief, and fear of what yet another dead District Seven tribute might mean for their own chances if they were ever reaped. Juniper's attempts at comforting her children didn't do anything to prevent Johanna's tears, either.
Chapter 38: 15th Birthday
Chapter Text
The next day was easier; young lifetimes of exposure had equipped the children of Panem with an ability to get over the deaths of their favourite Hunger Games tributes relatively quickly. The morning after that was easier again, though there was a setback when the District Seven boy was one of three tributes lost to a sinkhole in a sand dune. Technically he made the final five; his cannon was the last of the three to ring out. It was the first time in a long time a District Seven tribute had made it so far. But it wasn't much consolation, and it brought back many of the feelings about Daisy's loss.
The next day, though, Johanna's lingering grief for the tributes was buried by the excitement of her birthday. Similar to the previous year, Granny and Linden visited in the evening for a small party. They ate Johanna's favourite foods, including more cookies from Marcus, threw her axe, and played her favourite games. It was late by the time Harry came to walk Linden home, and, as he had last year, he offered to walk Johanna's grandmother home on their way.
As they all said their goodbyes, Granny hugged Johanna close and said, "Linden is a lovely girl, Johanna."
It was an odd thing for Granny to have said, but Johanna didn't get the chance to address it, because Granny had already moved on to hug Justin. As her grandmother embraced her brother, Johanna caught sight of her mother biting her lip, trying not to laugh. It was all the information she needed to understand Granny's comment: Granny thought Linden was Johanna's girlfriend.
The first thing to hit Johanna was how unfair it felt for Granny to have come to this incorrect conclusion. First her parents had figured out how she felt about Linden, and now somehow Granny had, too? Outrage rapidly began to swell within Johanna, fuelling the development of suspicions in her mind. Had her parents broken their promise, and mentioned something to Granny?
As soon as Linden, Granny and Harry had left, Johanna turned to her parents for answers.
"Why did Granny tell me Linden is a lovely girl?" she demanded, just about keeping control of her anger.
"Well, she is," Arthur shrugged, working hard to suppress a smile.
"Whatever conclusions Granny has come to, she's reached them on her own," Johanna's Mom assured her daughter, holding up her hands.
They weren't lying; they wouldn't lie about something like this. Johanna's confusion began to overtake her anger and frustration, initiating an instinct to physically look around the hallway for answers.
To her surprise, she found one.
Justin was no longer standing near the door. He had quietly retreated, and already had a foot on the stairs.
He wouldn't have started going to bed without saying goodnight. Johanna was instantly sure of his guilt.
She raced over to the stairs, lunged forward, and grabbed the collar of Justin's shirt, yanking him backwards and off the third step.
"Johanna!" her mother admonished, hurrying towards her children.
Fuelled by a refreshed wave of anger, Johanna ignored her mother and kept firm hold of Justin's shirt.
"What did you say to her?" Johanna demanded, almost shouting in Justin's ear.
"Let him go!" Juniper's voice was almost as angry as Johanna's as she reached for her daughter, attempting to free Johanna's hold on Justin.
"It wasn't me!" Justin protested, his voice squeaky with fear and the pressure of his shirt against his neck.
Johanna believed him, too. Which left one final suspect.
"Then what did Jay say?" Johanna continued.
Arthur and Juniper finally managed to pull their children apart, and began to bundle them into the living room.
"You do NOT fight on the stairs," Arthur sternly told Johanna as he guided her forward. "It's dangerous, and you know it!"
"Everybody take a breath," Juniper demanded, "And sit down."
Justin glared at Johanna and rubbed his clavicle as he sat on the nearest cushion. Arthur placed himself between his two eldest children on the sofa, and Juniper took a seat in the armchair.
"Breathe," Juniper insisted again.
A few quiet moments passed, filled with the first shreds of dissipating anger.
Satisfied that her husband had already said enough about Johanna's violent outburst for now, Juniper broke the silence by addressing her son
"Now, Justin, do you know anything about this?" Juniper's voice was patient, but carried a warning. Justin's guilty demeanour hadn't gone unnoticed by his parents, either, and Johanna was glad of it.
Justin stared at the floor, and gave a small guilty nod.
"What happened?"
The boy was on the edge of tears when he eventually began to mumble his reply.
"In Spring break, Jay got jealous that Johanna got to go on holiday, but we had to stay in Weston. Granny said maybe he would get to go when he was Johanna's age, and then Jay said maybe he just needed to have a girlfriend, like Johanna. And Granny just believed him!"
Another hot lick of rage, now mixed with embarrassment, licked its way over Johanna.
"And you didn't tell her Jay was lying?" Johanna almost shouted at her brother, only just managing to resist the urge to reach across her father and attack him.
"Johanna!" Juniper warned, sharply.
Johanna slumped back in the chair, crossing her arms and fuming.
"Justin, what would have been the kindest thing to do?" Juniper asked her son.
"To tell Granny the truth," Justin answered sheepishly.
"So, why didn't you?" Arthur pressed gently.
Justin, looking down again, shrugged, and eventually, quietly explained, "It was kinda funny."
In the pause that followed, Johanna could see her brother chewing the inside of his lip, trying to suppress a guilty smile.
It made Johanna's rage spill over.
Disregarding her father, Johanna lunged for Justin again.
But Arthur had apparently realised what was about to happen, and reacted quickly to catch his daughter before she reached her brother. Johanna thrashed a couple of times in her father's strong hold, but she knew she wouldn't be able to get past him to Justin.
"It's not funny!" Johanna shouted, straining against her father's arms.
"Johanna, calm down!" Arthur warned, gripping her arms tight. "No one thinks its funny!"
"He's laughing!"
"I'm not!"
"Justin! Go and get ready for bed - now," Juniper's voice was rarely so loud or stern, and it took her children off-guard. Justin hesitated for a confused moment, then hurried from the room, glad to be away from his sister, who still seemed liable to attack.
"You're not gonna do anything?" Johanna complained, outraged, looking back and forth between her parents.
"We'll talk to Jay tomorrow, and we'll talk to Justin in a minute," Juniper assured her daughter. "But right now, you need to calm down."
Johanna flopped back into the worn cushions again, quietly seething with the injustice of it all.
"It wasn't a nice joke for your brothers to play," said Arthur, "And they will be in trouble for it."
Johanna trusted her parents to be true to their word, and allowed their reassurances to finally quash some of her anger. It took a few more breaths before she was ready to talk again.
Making an effort to keep her voice calmer than she felt, Johana politely asked her mother, "Can you tell Granny they lied, please?"
"Of course I can, if you want me to," Juniper agreed.
Johanna was still far too emotional not to overreact to the potential implication she wouldn't want Granny's incorrect assumption to be corrected.
"Yes, I want you to!"
There was still a strong edge of warning in Juniper's voice as she reassured her daughter, "Okay."
"Good," Johanna grumbled to herself.
"You need to remember, Jo, that they didn't know how unfair their joke was," Arthur patiently tried to explain. "They don't know how you feel about Linden, and they don't know what it's like to have a first love."
"Oh my god," Johanna cringed at her father's phrasing, and picked up a cushion to cover her burning face.
"Or… first crush, or whatever," Arthur tried to backpedal, to no avail. "Jay just thought he was being silly; he didn't know there was any truth behind what he was saying, or how hurtful, or complicated it could be. And neither did Justin, when he went along with it."
Objectively, Johanna knew her father was right about brothers' ignorance. It didn't do much to quell her fury, though. She let the pillow drop from her face, and crossed her arms across her stomach again.
"We'll talk with Jay tomorrow," Johanna's mother promised again.
They were interrupted by a tentative knock on the living room door.
"Come in, Justin," Arthur called out.
Justin pushed the door open, and remained standing in the doorway, dressed in his pyjamas. His shoulders were hunched over in a guilty pose. Johanna and her parents all looked at him.
"I'm sorry, Johanna," he apologised, unprompted. "I should have told Granny Jay was lying."
"Yes, you should have," Johanna's father agreed with a sage nod.
Johanna just glared at her brother, not yet ready to accept his apology.
"Come on, kid," Arthur said, and led Justin back upstairs to talk.
Juniper rose from her chair, and moved over to the sofa next to Johanna. She held out an arm, and Johanna semi-reluctantly fell into the comfort of her mother's side. For a moment, they listened to the sound of footsteps on the stairs, making their way into Justin's room. Then, in an attempt to lighten the mood, Juniper spoke into the silent room.
"Well, at least now we know Granny approves, if you do ever date Linden."
Her words didn't have the intended effect. Johanna's rage bubbled again, filling her brain until she couldn't articulate any of the things she wanted to say to her mother. Granny's hypothetical approval wasn't the point! How could her mother be so wrong!?
Johanna continued to scowl for a few more seconds, trying to find a way to express any of the feelings slashing through her. Then, she gave up.
She couldn't stand being around her mother any more.
"I'm going to bed," she said, pushing away from her mother and standing.
"No, you're not," Juniper sounded almost shocked at Johanna's suggestion, and Johanna paused, surprised.
"Are you forgetting you just tried to pull your brother down the stairs?" Juniper's expression was serious.
"But he-" Johanna began to protest.
"It doesn't matter," Juniper interrupted, making it clear there was no excuse for Johanna's behaviour.
Her mother's tone left Johanna silent.
"Justin did something wrong, yes. But you know that doesn't make it okay for you to hurt him, Johanna."
"Hurt?" Johanna scoffed, the full force of her rage returning, "He's not hurt, he's fine!"
"Only because you're both very lucky," Juniper's anger punctuated her words.
Johanna was quiet, stewing in her anger again, waiting for her mother to continue.
"You're fifteen , now, Jo. You absolutely know better than to pull your little brother down the stairs, no matter what he's done."
It was true, of course. But Johanna wasn't in the mood to concede it. She remained silent again, waiting for her mother to dismiss her to bed.
"You're grounded until next week," Juniper declared, quietly.
Grounded!?
The shock of it almost felt like a slap.
Johanna wasn't used to being punished - not because her parents were lenient, but because she was a good kid! She studied hard at school, helped out around the house, and was always home on time. She had only ever fought with her brothers a handful of times, and even then, as the eldest, she had only ever been defending herself from them. The Mason siblings certainly had nothing on Linden and Willow's repertoire.
The prospect of being grounded hadn't even occurred to Johanna. She found the surprise of it hurt most of all. Or, at least, it did, until she realised being grounded meant she wouldn't get to hang out with Linden. They wouldn't get to go to the woods, or watch the Hunger Games together. She would even probably miss the finale! Letting Linden down definitely hurt the most.
"Ugh," Johanna complained, pouring her anger and frustration into the sound. "That's not fair!"
"Really?" Juniper challenged. "If Justin had pulled you down the stairs, what punishment should we have given him?"
Johanna's instinct was to shout at her mother about the injustice of the situation again, consequences be damned. But she had just enough self-restraint to fight the urge. Instead, she remained silent again.
Unwillingly, her mind considered the question posed by her mother. If the roles had been reversed, Johanna would definitely expect her brother to be facing punishment for his actions - regardless of his reasons.
That still didn't mean it felt fair, though.
After a few seconds of Johanna's stumped silence, Juniper continued.
"If you ever do anything like that again, you will be grounded for much longer than a week. Do you understand?"
"Yes, mom," Johanna grumbled.
"You can go to bed now, if you want to," Juniper offered.
Johanna took the opportunity to leave, stomping her feet a little as she went.
"I love you," Juniper told her daughter.
Johanna banged the door shut, without looking back at her mother.
Chapter 39: Grounded
Chapter Text
Johanna's indignation and rage kept her awake long after her parents had gone to bed.
The most annoying part was that she gradually began to reflect on the situation with a little less emotion, and a little more rationality. She wasn't sure what had come over her. Pulling Justin off the stairs had been reckless. In hindsight, it was clear that she could have just called him out, asked him what he knew. It's not like he would have been able to run away from her parents' questions. Pulling him back like that really could have hurt him. She would have felt awful if she had been responsible for a sprained ankle, or worse. Johanna shuddered at the thought of her little brother suffering the pain of a dislocation or break with the meagre medication available in Weston.
She knew she was never going to risk hurting either of her brothers ever again.
And she also knew she was still furious with them.
The next morning, Johanna's fury was still spilling out of every pore. She ignored every member of her family at breakfast, and left for school as soon as she was allowed. She walked quickly, and then turned down Linden's usual route, eager to meet her friend as soon as possible, rather than impatiently waiting at their usual meeting spot.
"What's wrong?" Linden called out as they approached each other.
Johanna waited a moment, not wanting to raise her voice loud enough that someone might overhear. She was as ashamed of her behaviour as she was annoyed by the consequences.
As soon as Linden was near enough, Johanna explained, "Jay and Justin have been telling Granny lies about me for MONTHS, and now I'm grounded!"
"You're grounded?" Linden asked, disappointment clear in her expression and voice.
"Yeah, I'm sorry," Johanna felt the guilt hit her again, "For a week."
"What if we miss the final day of the Hunger Games?" Linden lamented.
"I'm sorry! It's not my fault!" Johanna defended, "All I did was stop Justin running away. I didn't even hurt him! It's such bullshit!" Johanna kicked a rock along the floor, sending it bouncing towards the fence.
"What was the lie?" Linden asked.
Johanna could feel a burn rising up her face. "I don't wanna talk about it."
Linden smirked, lightly bumped her shoulder against Johanna's, then said, "Well, after a very interesting chat with your Granny on the way home last night, I think I have a good idea…"
"Urgh, for fuck's sake!" Johanna groaned, rolling her eyes with such force that her head moved, too.
Linden just laughed. "It's fine, Mason. I corrected her, and she apologised and said that Jay has always been a little mischief maker."
Linden's impression of Granny's voice was the first thing to make Johanna laugh since she'd said goodbye to her friend last night. It wasn't just the impression, Johanna realised; it was also relief that the situation had been resolved.
"He's such a dick!" Johanna concurred, using markedly different phrasing to her grandmother to describe Jay.
"Does he actually think we're dating?" Linden asked, curiously.
"What? No! Of course not! He was just jealous because I got to visit the centre in spring break, and he had to stay in Weston."
Linden nodded her understanding, and Johanna couldn't decipher the strange expression her friend was wearing.
A silence grew between them. Not wanting to risk it growing awkward, Johanna continued the conversation.
"Why?" she asked.
Linden sighed quietly, and stared at her shoes for a few moments, before she eventually mumbled, "Because Willow does."
Johanna's eyes grew wide with shock. Willow thought she and Linden were dating!?
"What?"
But even as she spoke, Johanna's mind flashed back to Willow standing in Linden's bedroom doorway, eyebrows raised at the sight of them sharing a bed.
"Huh. Actually… that… kind of makes sense," Johanna said, when her shock had worn off.
"I've told her we're not," Linden quickly clarified, "But she doesn't believe me. Just because she was sneaking around before she was sixteen, doesn't mean I am!"
"Before sixteen?" Johanna asked.
"We - Willow, Asher and I - aren't allowed to date until we're sixteen," Linden explained.
Before she could stop herself, Johanna made a mental note of the rule.
By the end of the school day, much of which had been spent with Linden, Joanna was feeling better. The end of the day, which was usually filled with excitement about heading to the woods, was tinged with disappointment, though, because Johanna was under strict instructions to head straight home. Linden - much more used to being punished, it seemed - pointed out that Johanna hadn't been told she had to walk home alone. It was certainly better than not getting to hang out at all, so Johanna readily accepted Linden's offer to walk her the whole way home. They were so deep in conversation that Johanna didn't begin to grow sad until they approached her gate.
"Well, see you Monday, I guess," Johanna dejectedly said to Linden. She really wasn't looking forward to spending a whole weekend without her friend, and the feeling was clearly mutual.
"My weekend is gonna be soooooo boring!" Linden complained.
"I'm sorry!" Johanna apologised again.
"Wanna sneak out?" Linden asked, teasingly.
The idea mildly shocked Johanna, who quickly shook her head.
"No it's not worth it," she explained, "I'll just get grounded for longer."
Juniper, Justin and Jay rounded the corner of the street, and both girls flicked their attention to them for a moment.
"You'd better go, before I get in any more trouble," Johanna told Linden.
They shared a quick hug, as Johanna's mom and brothers drew closer. Then, with a parting, "See you at school," Linden began to walk away. Johanna opened the gate, and then turned to watch her friend leave, just as Linden also looked back. They shared a smile, then Linden's eyes flicked to the boys, and back to Johanna.
To Johanna's shock, Linden blew her an overdramatic kiss, and loudly, sarcastically called out, "Bye, honey!"
Jay and Justin turned to each other with open mouths, briefly convinced by Linden's joke.
"Fuck off!" Johanna laughed back at her friend, speaking quietly enough for her mother not to hear.
"Bye, Linden," Juniper called out, in a friendly warning to both girls that it was time for Johanna's friend to go.
"Bye, Mrs. Mason," Linden waved, and headed off.
Jay had run ahead of his mother, reaching his sister surprisingly quickly, and excitedly asked, "Did Linden just blow you a kiss!? "
"Yes, but she was joking, Jay. Because, for some reason, last night, Granny asked Linden if she's my girlfriend."
Johanna pointedly stared at her youngest brother as his eyes grew wide with understanding and feigned innocence.
"Jo," Johanna's mother warned as she approached the house, "That's enough. I'm going to talk to him now."
Jay turned to his mother with a guilty expression, clearly anticipating the trouble he was in.
"Jay, you're coming to the kitchen with me, please," Juniper said, leading her children into the house, "And you two," she added, gesturing to Johanna and Justin, "Start your homework."
While she didn't appreciate being ordered around, Johanna had been planning to get on with her homework, anyway. She slipped her shoes off, headed up to her room, and began to take her school books out of her bag.
But before she had put all her books onto her desk, there was a quiet knock on her bedroom door.
"Jo?"
It was Justin.
"What?" Johanna demanded. Most of yesterday's anger had left her, but she was still annoyed with her brothers.
"Can I come in?"
Something about the nervous tone of his voice softened Johanna's lingering disdain.
"Yeah, okay."
He slowly opened the door, and stuck his head around the side.
"Are you sure?"
He looked unexpectedly scared. Had Johanna's outburst affected him more than she'd realised? Concern and guilt began to seep in, temporarily replacing all remaining traces of anger
"Yeah, of course. What's up?"
Justin hurried inside, closing the door behind him as if he was afraid of being caught.
"I'm really sorry, Jo," he apologised again, awkwardly.
"I know," Johanna said. It wasn't quite forgiveness, but she'd get there soon. "And I'm sorry for pulling you down the stairs."
"Thanks," Justin brushed off her apology, lessening Johanna's concern that her brother was scared of her . But in that case, why was he pale, and nervously fiddling with the hem of his shirt. It had been Johanna's a couple of years ago.
"I uh…" Justin was mumbling, struggling to find whatever words he'd come to say.
"What?" Johanna tried to sound encouraging, but a hint of impatience crept in, too.
"I didn't just let her believe it for a joke," Justin admitted, speaking quickly, barely loud enough for Johanna to hear.
Johanna wasn't sure what she'd expected when Justin had knocked, but it wasn't this. He had always been the quieter of her brothers, and the more thoughtful. He hadn't usually left her so confused, though.
When Justin didn't offer any further explanation, Johanna encouraged him again.
"Then, why?" she asked, intrigued.
Justin chewed at the side of his thumb, staring intensely at the floor, "I…"
Johanna watched him struggle again. His breathing was faster than usual, and his eyes were beginning to shine.
"Come on," Johanna said, holding out her hand. Justin took it, and they moved a total of two steps together before Johanna sat down on the floor, pulling her brother down with her. He understood, and followed her wordless guidance.
It had been a while since they'd done this. It had always worked when they were younger, though, and Johanna thought it would work now, too.
Justin sat back-to-back with Johanna, his knees protectively drawn up to his chest, his back supported by his big sister.
"Can I ask you something first?" Justin asked, his voice so quiet it was almost a whisper.
"Okay," Johanna nodded, filled with equal parts intrigue and suspicion.
"I'm not trying to be mean or anything," Justin hedged, "But I kept thinking about how upset you were yesterday..."
He trailed off again, unable to find the words - or perhaps the courage - to continue.
Johanna tried to give him time. Eventually, though, she grew impatient, and prompted him to continue with a simple, "And?"
" Is she? I mean, uh, is Linden… are you…?"
He couldn't get the exact words out, but he'd said enough for Johanna to understand his question. She was a little surprised by her brother's suspicion. How had he managed to come up with this idea?
"No!" Johanna half-laughed.
"Huh," Justin let out a tiny, contemplative hum that Johanna mostly heard through the vibration against her back.
"Linden isn't even allowed to date," Johanna added, unsure why she felt the need to add evidence.
"So, then… Why were you so upset?"
"Because Jay lied !"
"But you've never been upset about Jay's jokes before," Justin continued pushing, trying to piece together the mystery. "Are you dating someone else?"
"No, I'm not dating anyone," Johanna replied, beginning to realise her brother was going to keep pushing until he found an answer.
"Then, why-"
"You said one question," Johanna cut him off, not wanting to let him pry any further. "Now it's your turn."
Against her back, Johanna felt her brother tense up again. She wasn't going to hold back, though.
"Why did you play along, and let Granny think Linden was my girlfriend?"
Justin hesitated. Johanna couldn't see his expression, but she could feel even more tension enter his body as he fidgeted against her. After what seemed like an age, he finally answered, "Because I wanted to see how she would react."
"Why?"
Again, there was a long pause as Justin tried to find an answer.
"You know what mom said about… uh… how Granny used to be mean to Uncle John in high school?"
'Mean' was an oversimplification. From Johanna's understanding of the situation, Granny had spent years pretending their uncle John's boyfriends didn't exist, while making her preference for his girlfriends very clear. Still, Johanna understood what her brother meant.
"Yeah," she slowly nodded.
"Well, I just… I wanted to see if she's better now."
"Better? What do you mean?"
"Better about… that kind of thing."
It took a moment for the realisation to strike, with a quiet, "Oh."
Johanna could only think of one good reason why Justin might want to know that information. It would fit well with his apparent nervousness, too.
"Why, Justin?" Johanna gently asked.
He was quiet for an even longer time. Johanna could feel his fast heartbeat, and hers seemed to be sympathetically matching it. The physical manifestation of his response was enough of a confirmation, really. Johanna didn't point it out, though. She didn't even prompt him. Eventually, after a few failed attempts to start, Justin practically whispered his answer.
"Because I think I might be gay."
Although Johanna had guessed what Justin was building up to, she was taken aback. For some reason, she hadn't expected him to come right out with such a direct response. While he hated fighting and wrestling, Justin was certainly brave in other ways.
Johanna spun around on the floor and shuffled over until she was side-by-side with her brother. She pulled him into a tight side-hug, and he leaned against her, still tense.
"I'm still pissed at you," she told him, unable to keep the smile out of her voice.
Justin let out a relieved laugh, and sniffled away unfallen tears.
"But at least it makes a bit more sense now," Johanna continued, and ruffled her brother's hair. "Does anyone else know yet?"
Justin shook his head, "No, no one. I uh… I wanted to be sure first. And I'm not really sure yet."
"That's okay," Johanna gave him a reassuring squeeze.
"Please don't tell Mom and Dad," he said, suddenly sounding almost desperate.
"Of course I won't," Johanna promised, aching from her brother's fear. "But you know they won't have a problem with it, right?"
"Probably not," Justin agreed, "But we won't know for sure until I tell them."
His worry was heartbreaking, and Johanna was hit by a strong urge to comfort him. There was an obvious way, of course. She could be sure of her parents' reaction, because she'd experienced it herself, in a way. She hadn't thought about telling Justin, though - not before now.
Was there a way to convince Justin their parents wouldn't have a problem with him, without telling him why she was so sure? Johanna debated it in her mind for a while, before deciding to tell him the truth.
Not only did she want to comfort him, but she wanted to confide in him, too.
"No, Justin," she told him, in a quiet, authoritative voice. "I know for sure."
Justin twisted his head up to look at his sister, giving her a curious look.
"How?" he asked.
It was only in that moment, with Justin looking up at her with worried tears in his eyes, that Johanna suddenly realised she didn't know how to describe herself. In truth, she hadn't really given it any thought. She'd never liked anyone aside from Linden, and she had only figured that out a few months ago. Instead of trying to determine a nice, neat label like Justin's, Johanna opted instead to simply tell her brother the relevant facts.
Deciding to do it and actually doing it were two very different things, though. Like Justin, Johanna hesitated for a moment, building up the courage to tell him.
"Because I like a girl," she blurted out, before she lost her nerve, "And Mom and Dad both know, and it's totally fine."
Justin let out a relieved sigh and relaxed in his sister's arms, and the tension Johanna had been feeling soon followed.
"Thanks, Jo," Justin's gratitude filled Johanna with an odd sense of pride.
"You're gonna be okay," she said, rocking him slightly.
"When did you tell them?" he asked, sounding like his usual, curious self again.
"I mean, Mom and Dad just kind of figured it out really," Johanna clarified, before remembering to answer, "A few months ago."
"When were you going to tell me ?" Justin's cheekiness was returning, too.
"I don't know!" Johanna laughed, "If it helps, you're only, like, the fourth person I've told."
"Hmm," Justin smiled, pleased by the news.
"So, you won't tell anyone either, right?" Johanna added, realising she should make it clear.
"I promise," Justin nodded against Johanna's shoulder.
They were quiet for a while, taking in the magnitude of the moment. Then, Justin said, "Can I ask another question?"
"Uhuh," Johanna cautiously agreed.
"The girl… does she like you back?" he whispered.
Johanna laughed, out of awkward embarrassment. "No! Or, I mean… I don't know. I haven't asked her or anything."
"Why not?"
"It's too scary," Johanna admitted, shaking her head. "Plus, she's not allowed to date yet, anyway."
Justin suddenly sat upright, gasping in delight, and said, "So it is Linden!"
Johanna was stunned, only just managing to stutter out a bewildered, "What?"
"You just said it two minutes ago: Linden isn't allowed to date yet!" Justin pointed out, with a self-satisfied grin.
"Lots of people aren't allowed to date in the first year of high school!" Johanna tried to cover her tracks, playfully poking Justin in the side.
He giggled, then added, " And you always avoid the question instead of lying."
"Shut up!"
"I knew it!"
"Shut up!"
Johanna's poking escalated into tickling, and soon both of them were laughing so hard they were gasping for breath.
From the stairs, Juniper smiled to herself, pleased to hear the sound of her eldest children making up.
Chapter 40: The 69th Victor
Chapter Text
Just as Linden had predicted, the Hunger Games soon drew to a close. The mandatory viewing of the final showdown invited itself into the Masons' living room during the early hours of Saturday evening. Still grounded, and therefore surrounded by her actively disinterested family members, Johanna attempted to emulate her previous approach to the Games by picking up her library book and reading.
At first, the presenters’ attempts to capture the audience’s attention with cringeworthy jokes alliterations lost out to the fantastical tale in Johanna’s hands.
However, when the real action began to flicker over the screen, Johanna’s bookmark was soon nestled between well-worn pages as the show captured her full attention. It seemed Linden's infectious enthusiasm for The Games was still affecting Johanna, despite the distance between them.
Just as Johanna had suspected, based on things she’d learned from Linden over the past year, the Gamemakers had driven each of the four remaining tributes from their hiding places. A fire had begun to rage through the woods, forcing the District Six girl to run for her life. The sand had steadily heated up, too, eventually becoming so hot that the District Eight boy had to flee towards the safety of the grassy area in the centre. And in the rocks, increasingly large reptiles were emerging from the ground, nipping at the ankles of the District Two and Three girls with the aim of driving them inwards and towards each other.
The District Six girl and District Eight boy arrived at the cornucopia within seconds of each other. Both were in bad shape; the girl was coughing out smoke, and the boy was tending to burns, blisters and patches of melted shoes on his feet. After a few agonising seconds wherein the tributes were too caught up in their own injuries to notice anything else, the girl finally saw the boy, and began staggering over to him. The approaching coughing soon caught his attention, and he didn’t hesitate to begin limping towards her, too.
They fought a determined, but ultimately dull, fight, plagued by the effects of injuries and starvation. Meanwhile, the screen split into three sections, to show the other tributes in addition to the fight.
The District Two girl hadn’t quite succumbed to the direction the reptiles had been herding her. A replay showed her scrabbling through her bag while she limped along high rocks, her legs bleeding from bites and scratches. She had produced a net, shaken it out, and then thrown it onto the ground, trapping many of the larger reptiles for a precious few seconds. She didn’t hesitate to run as fast as she could, using long, pained strides over the rocks, and even taking a few steps on the net, crushing some of the creatures with her dusty shoes, and sustaining a few more bites. Dutifully knowing it was time for the final showdown, the girl made her way to the centre of the arena, securing her place at the final event.
The District Three girl, however, hadn’t moved so quickly. Perhaps she hadn’t realised the Gamemakers were trying to force the tributes towards each other; towards the middle of the arena; towards the end of The Games. Instead of fleeing, she had climbed to the top of the tallest nearby rock, and held her ground by slashing at the creatures with a machete to keep them at bay.
While Johanna had been primarily watching the reptiles, the exhausted, injured tributes had continued their desperate fight. Neither seemed to have the energy to land a fatal blow – until, suddenly, the District Eight tribute did.
Johanna couldn't help flinching at the scene. She didn't like watching it. But she also couldn't tear her eyes away.
The second the District Six girl's cannon rang out, the reptiles increased their efforts. The District Two girl had just made it out of the rocks, but still, dozens of creatures tangled themselves in the grass trying to follow her. Deep in the rocky terrain, uninhibited by greenery, the reptiles swarmed. The first ones to emerge had only been a few inches long, but some of them were almost as big as the tributes, now. They began to scrabble over each other in their desperation to climb higher, towards the tribute at the summit. There were so many of them now, Johanna couldn’t even see any of the rocks surrounding the tribute. Then, she could no longer see the tribute’s slashing, bloodied blade. And then, she could no longer see the tribute.
When the girl’s canon boomed, the wriggling mass of creatures began to scurry away, returning to whatever crevices from where they had come.
Their rapid departure revealed a shocking corpse.
The girl’s eyes were red and bulging, shot with blood. Every visible inch of her seemed to be littered with scratches and bites, all significantly more severe than the marks left by the first few small reptiles. Many were swollen, working to distort her features into a disturbing approximation of the pleasant features she’d had just seconds ago. Some of the largest, deepest puncture wounds were leaking a dark, sticky substance that Johanna didn’t even recognise as blood, until she convinced herself there was nothing else it could be.
The reptiles – some of the larger ones, at least – must have injected some kind of poison into the girl.
Somehow, this death seemed less just than the others. The girl had survived the arena, the hunger and the other tributes, just as the other finalists had. So, shouldn’t she have also been allowed the opportunity to fight for her life at the end? It wasn’t fair at all that she had been targeted by these creatures, practically out of nowhere, right at the last minute.
Nothing about the Hunger Games was fair, really. Johanna knew that. But this part felt especially unfair.
Still staring into the grotesque eyes of the dead tribute, Johanna suddenly understood why she felt so strongly about this particular injustice.
In a roundabout way, it was a little bit personal.
A year ago, Johanna had told her mother that preparing for the games helps her to feel as though she has more power and control over her life - particularly with respect to the reapings. And it was true: having a plan for the reaping, and practicing various useful skills has helped her to cope with the lingering fear that her name could be chosen. However, if Johanna was ever reaped, then what use would all her plans and preparation be against the sudden appearance of tribute-hunting venomous reptiles? How could she possibly have power and control over whatever unpredictable creatures the caption had been developing?
With another sudden wave of clarity, Johanna realised: that was the point.
The Games existed to keep people scared of the capitol; that was no secret. Reapings, victory tours and mandatory viewings were all there to remind people to stay scared. Again, there wasn’t any pretence that this wasn't part of their purpose. However, the downside of mandatory viewings, and even additional optional viewing, was that people could learn from what they saw. They could develop plans, and tactics, and perhaps tip the odds in their favour.
They could feel like they had some power and control.
And the capitol didn’t want people to feel that way.
So, to remind the children of Panem that they are powerless against the Capitol, the smart, prepared girl from District Three who had made it all the way to the final day, had to die.
The Gamemakers had needed to demonstrate their power, control and resources, and that poor girl was their unfortunate target. The other tributes probably didn't even realise how lucky they were to have avoided the same fate. Did they even know what Johanna had just discovered? Did they know the Gamemakers could probably kill every tribute in there, with the push of a button?
And it wasn't just the Gamemakers and the arena. The Hunger Games were just a small scale demonstration of the country. The captiol had the means to destroy all the districts, just like they had destroyed District Thirteen.
The only thing stopping them was their dependence upon the land and people of the districts. They needed food and resources from the districts, and they needed people to farm, and harvest and manufacture.
It was almost as if Johanna could hear all the puzzle pieces clicking into place, as she drew the most complex sociological conclusions her fifteen year old mind had ever considered.
As she polished up her thoughts and contemplated her new understanding of the society in which she lived, she began wanting to share the thoughts with someone. But where should she start? How could she launch into a topic of such magnitude – especially when every member of her family was currently pointedly looking at their books and projects, intent on avoiding the horrors on screen.
Johanna would need time, she realised, to figure out how to articulate it all. And ideally, she would find a way to bring up the subject without too many references to the showdown – which was heating up again.
Still buzzing with the excitement of her newfound knowledge, Johanna returned her full attention to the screen, ready to watch the final few minutes of The 69 th Hunger Games.
The tribute from Eight was bloody, beaten, and barely able to stand on his burned feet. By comparison, the District Two girl was in far better shape. This time, the District Eight boy didn’t try to meet his opponent half way. He waited, trying to conserve as much energy as possible, as the District Two girl jogged towards him on scratched up legs.
Not wanting to wait until they were within touching distance, the girl launched a knife at the boy from a few metres away. He managed to dodge it relatively easily, by falling to the floor. However, his injuries impeded his recovery, and he wasn’t able to get up before the girl’s final knife flew between two of his ribs.
When she reached him moments later, she didn't toy with him. It felt uncharacteristic, given how she had behaved for her many other kills. Perhaps she was in more pain than she was letting on. Perhaps she had also been poisoned by some of the creatures, and knew she needed to hurry. Whatever the reason, the girl used a single, smooth motion to pull the knife from the District Eight boy’s chest, then drag it deep through his throat. Blood spilled from him fast, and she was almost immediately announced as the victor of the 69th Hunger Games.
She barely reacted to the announcement. In relief, she slumped to the side of the dead boy, her breathing laboured, and her skin grey.
The contrast between the still, muted scene from the arena and the colourful, celebratory atmosphere in the studio was jarring.
“It’s over for another year,” Arthur reassured the family, preparing to turn off the show as soon as possible.
Johanna was glad to her father's relief. However, she didn’t share in it. As the TV turned to black, and the room fell silent, Johanna was filled with sadness that she hadn’t been able to watch and discuss the show with Linden.
When Arthur returned from reading Jay’s bedtime story, Johanna chose her moment.
“Can I talk to you all about something?” she began, addressing her parents and Justin.
“Of course, Jo,” Juniper smiled, with mild concern.
“You know how The Games and the reapings and stuff are to remind us all of the capitol’s power?”
Juniper looked to Justin, and wasn’t surprised by her perceptive son’s solemn nod.
“Yes…” Arthur encouraged, intrigued.
“I guess today I really understood it for the first time,” Johanna tried her best to explain.
“How so?” Arthur prompted.
“Well, they say tributes are selected at random to fight hunger and each other until there’s a winner,” Johanna summarised, “But today, with those animals…” Johanna trailed off for a moment, gauging her family’s response.
“What animals?” Justin asked, genuinely unaware of the events that had played in the room with him.
“I think they were some kind of poisonous creatures. They appeared basically out of nowhere at the end,” Johanna summarised for her brother, “And killed one of the final tributes.”
“Go on, Johanna,” said Juniper, clearly not wanting any more of the grisly details.
“Well, it made me realise: she wasn’t killed by dehydration, or a fight, or any of the other ways most of the tributes die. She was killed by the creatures, who were put in there by the Gamemakers.”
“ Everyone was put in there by the Gamemakers,” Justin pointed out, “That’s kind of their job.”
Johanna was enjoying Justin’s recent forays into pedantism and sarcasm, and flashed him a smile.
“I know , but my point is, they kind of pretend the tributes have some control over how they do in the arena. Like, if they hide, and eat the right berries, and fight well enough, then they can win. But that’s not really true. They can only win if the Gamemakers let them win. The Gamemakers can set them on fire or release savage animals whenever they like!”
“They can, yes,” Arthur’s brow was furrowed, trying to work out what his daughter was going to say.
“And it’s to remind us, again, that the capitol has all the power. They’re in control.”
“Yes, they are,” Arthur exchanged a momentary glance with his wife, so subtle his children didn’t catch it.
“They could do the same thing to all of us that they do to the tributes,” Johanna continued, satisfied everyone was following, “Like they did to District Thirteen.”
“Yes,” Juniper nodded, reaching out to give Justin’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze, “They have the power to do that. But they won’t.”
“Yeah," Johanna agreed, "Because they need us." Her pride was beginning to pull her lips into a smile. “For lumber, and food, and stuff.”
“That’s right,” Arthur’s smile looked fake this time, and Johanna’s disappointment hurt.
There was a short pause, while Johanna tried to understand where she had gone wrong. Then, Justin’s quiet, quizzical voice filled the room.
“But if they need us for all their stuff, then how much power do they really have?”
The effect of his words was instantaneous on his parents. They both jolted as if they’d heard a gunshot, their eyes wide, and their sudden alertness scaring their children.
“What?” Justin squeaked.
“Justin, sweetie,” Juniper took her son’s hand, “I know you were just asking a question, but you mustn’t ever speak like that. It’s dangerous.”
“Why?”
Arthur and Juniper shared another look, as if telepathically communicating how to answer their child’s question.
“Because they do have all the power, Justin. They depend on us, but we depend on them, too. We supply their lumber and paper, but they supply us with food, clothes, coal. And even aside from that, you've seen examples of their weapons, in The Hunger Games. They could wipe out any district, any time they want to. And that means we need to make sure we never give them a reason to do so. Do you understand?” Juniper was speaking with deliberate patience, but there was an undeniable urgency in her voice, too.
“I think so,” Justin mumbled, his eyes growing shiny.
“To put it another way,” Arthur added, softly, “What you just said is technically rebellion.”
Justin and Johanna both gasped at the word,and Justin's tears began to fall.
“I didn’t mean to!” he cried, panicked.
“I didn’t, either!” Johanna insisted, feeling almost as scared as her brother.
“We know,” Juniper assured her children, pulling first Justin and then Johanna into a hug.
“I didn’t explain myself properly,” Johanna desperately tried to make her family understand, “I was trying to say the opposite of the rebellion thing! What I meant was, even though planning for The Hunger Games makes me feel in control, I’m not really in control at all – because the Capitol could release creatures or whatever, whenever they want to! I wasn’t trying to say anything rebellious!”
“We know,” Arthur said again, moving over to envelop them all in his arms.
“You won’t tell anyone?” Justin pleased, still crying.
“Of course not,” Juniper dried his cheek, “We know it was just a mistake.”
“It's just our job to make sure you know you can’t ever say things like that,” Arthur told his children.
“I know,” Johanna insisted, as Justin fervently promised, “I won’t!”
Johanna was almost in disbelief at how easily her words had been misconstrued into rebellious talk. She wasn't a rebel! She was still a few days into her first ever time being grounded! She took comfort in the arms of her parents for a long time, while she vowed to herself to be more careful with her words.
Chapter 41: Summer
Chapter Text
As soon as Johanna's grounding was over, life returned to normal. With much less homework to do in the last couple of weeks of the school year, she spent even more time climbing, fighting and axe throwing with Linden. Justin joined them sometimes, too – though he rarely even participated in any self-defence, let alone any fighting. The siblings were closer than ever following their conversation the day after Johanna's birthday, and Johanna wasn't sure whether it was just a coincidence, or whether Justin was deliberately befriending Linden now that he knew about his sister's feelings towards her.
When the students of Weston's high school received their summer work placements, Johanna was thrilled to learn she was scheduled to work in the forest. Linden seemed to mirror Johanna's joy, and they spoke at the same time to each tell the other the good news: they had both been assigned to the forest! Not only did it mean they would get to spend weeks outside, swinging axes and learning about machinery, but most importantly, the girls would get to spend their whole summer together. Johanna couldn't wait.
On the first day of the summer placement, Johanna woke up early, buzzing with excitement. She knew it wouldn't last; working full-time hours all summer on apprentice wages was obviously a terrible deal. But, for now, Johanna didn't care. She was looking forward to learning new skills and wielding tools all day in the sun. And most of all, she was looking forward to doing it all with Linden. She desperately hoped they would be placed on the same crew.
While the factories were all local enough that the apprentices had to make their own ways to them throughout the summer, the forest placement was so far outside the town to necessitate a bus. Apprentices had been instructed to catch the bus each morning from outside the High School, to where they would also be returned each evening. Johanna arrived at the bus stop fifteen minutes early on her first day, and she wasn't even the first apprentice there. She made pleasant smalltalk with the others for a while, getting to know a little about them all ahead of their summer of working together.
Despite being on the school grounds, waiting to catch the school bus with other students from school, the interactions felt different. Johanna and the other children weren't just High School students who barely recognised each other, now. It felt too cliché and paradoxically immature to think of these teens as her new colleagues. But still, somehow, it felt like they were all about to become something new.
Johanna dared to hope they might.
After a few minutes of new arrivals and introductions, Linden found Johanna in the growing crowd. The girls peeled away from the main group, and began to chatter excitedly about their first day. When the bus driver opened the bus's rusted, yellow door, Johanna and Linden followed the other apprentices and boarded together, choosing a pair of seats roughly in the middle of the vehicle. While more apprentices filtered past them in search of seats and friends, Linden told Johanna about Asher's upcoming visit. The girls were part way through making plans to take Asher and Justin to the woods over the weekend, when a sudden hush dawned over the bus.
Olivia had boarded.
It seemed that her near miss at the reaping had made her a celebrity among Weston's teenagers - and not in a way she was welcoming.
Unintentionally, Johanna caught Olivia's eye. Something about the deep anguish in the other girl's expression prevented Johanna from looking away. Because they hadn't shared any classes or work placements that year, it had been months since Olivia and Johanna had last interacted - when Johanna had escaped Olivia's hold, and outrun her.
There wasn't any malice at all in Olivia's eyes. However, just her presence was enough to tie Johanna's gut into a knot.
All of a sudden, Johanna was no longer looking forward to the summer placement.
"I didn't know she was assigned to the forest," Linden murmured to Johanna, looking at her with concern.
"Me, neither," Johanna replied, her teeth gritted with dread.
A girl ascended the steps behind Olivia, and leaned in to whisper something to her, placing a hand between her shoulders. A moment later, the girl's hand on Olivia's back began gently guiding her toward a seat near the front of the bus. They had both sat down before Johanna finally recognised her as the girl from the reaping - the one Olivia had been with throughout the registration and ceremony.
"Are you okay?" Linden asked.
"Oh, yeah, sure," comfortable sarcasm dripped from every syllable of Johanna's reply, "Nothing to worry about. I'm just gonna spend all summer with Olivia , while she's holding a fucking axe ."
"Well, you're gonna have one, too," Linden reminded Johanna, trying to lighten the mood with her usual dark humour, "And you can probably use it better than she can."
"Let's hope so," Johanna attempted a dry smile at her friend, grateful for her attempt at comfort.
The girl next to Olivia glanced back down the bus for a moment, her eyes seeming to land on Johanna and Linden before she returned her gaze to Olivia, speaking to her again.
Johanna tried to convince herself she was being paranoid, but the girl definitely flicked her gaze over to Johanna and Linden's seat once more during the course of her conversation with Olivia.
Linden seemed to notice it, too - as well as clocking Johanna's reaction.
"They're not gonna start anything," Linden confidently assured Johanna, in a tone that implied, "because I'll kick their asses if they do".
By the time the engine of the bus roared into life, Olivia had taken a notepad from her bag, and begun to write. Meanwhile, Linden steered the conversation back to Asher's visit, and Johanna gratefully let herself be distracted from the fact Olivia was sitting just five rows in front of her.
As the start of the forest came into view, the person sitting in front of Johanna and Linden turned around, held out a folded note, and said, "Pass it back."
Linden took the note, and was already preparing to hand it to the next students when she read the name on the front.
"It's for you," Linden said, holding out the folded slip of paper to Johanna.
Johanna took the note. JOHANNA MASON was printed on the front, in shaky, bus-addled handwriting. The only person Johanna had seen writing anything was, of course, Olivia. Without thinking, Johanna looked over at her seat. Olivia herself was staring out at the road in front. However, the girl next to her was looking straight back at Johanna, making sure the note reached her.
Johanna returned her attention to the paper, and scoffed, "She's starting early," as she began to unfold it.
Suddenly, Linden's hand was stopping her movements.
Even in the summer bus heat, the warmth of Linden's fingers felt good against the heel of Johanna's thumb.
"You don't have to read it," Linden reminded her friend, her eyes shining with the most kindness Johanna could ever remember seeing.
"I'm not scared of her any more," Johanna replied, trying to sound brave despite the residual sinking feeling in her stomach.
With a small nod, Linden released her gentle grip on Johanna's hand. Then, as if daring herself to do it, Johanna finished unfolding the paper and read the note.
Dear Johanna,
I am so sorry for everything I did and said to you in middle school.
I was going through a hard time, and I guess I just took it out on someone else. I was just a sad kid who didn't know what else to do. That's not an excuse, though. You didn't deserve any of it, and it wasn't fair to you.
I want you to know I'm never going to hurt you - or anyone else - again.
And I'm not just saying this because my name got read out at the reaping. I had already changed before that. I'm not that girl any more.
I'm sorry I didn't apologise to you sooner. After everything I'd done, I thought it was better for me to just stay away from you. But now that we'll have to spend summer together, I think I need to address it, and to apologise for everything.
You don't need to forgive me. Just please believe me that I'm sorry, and I've changed. I'm not going to hurt you again.
-Olivia
Johanna couldn't tell whether she should believe the words. She read the letter again, but it did nothing to confirm or alleviate her suspicion.
"What does it say?" Linden asked.
Too overwhelmed to summarise the letter, and not particularly wanting to talk about it surrounded by other apprentices anyway, Johanna simply handed the paper over to Linden. She wanted to know her friend's opinion, and the minute it took for Linden to read the note almost made Johanna explode with impatience.
"Do you think she's telling the truth?" Johanna asked as soon as Linden finished reading.
Linden turned to Johanna, looking thoughtful.
"Maybe. Hearing your name on reaping day has gotta fuck you up. Makes you face your regrets, and whatever."
Johanna gave a small nod of agreement. Linden's point made sense, though it didn't necessarily apply given Olivia's assurance she had changed before the reaping.
"She might genuinely be sorry," Linden suggested, "I mean, she hasn't bothered you in ages, right?"
"Mhm," Johanna nodded.
"And even if she is lying, you did just say you're not scared of her any more…"
A small, teasing smile had worked its way onto Linden's face, drawing a small laugh from Johanna. Linden handed the letter back, and Johanna reread it again, considering whether or not to believe the words, and what she should do about it.
She definitely wasn't about to forgive Olivia - that was for sure. Also, she didn't appreciate Olivia's implication that she was still scared of the bully, regardless of the hint of truth behind it.
"Do you want to talk to her, or anything?" Linden asked.
Johanna definitely didn't want a sit down and a long chat with Olivia. But she did want Olivia to stop thinking she was scared of her. And she wanted her to know she wasn't forgiven, either.
Drawing on Willow's energy for inspiration, Johanna knew what she wanted to do.
"No, I think I'll use her preferred method of communication," Johanna told Linden, grabbing her bag and rummaging around for a pen.
On the back of Olivia's note, Johanna quickly wrote a reply.
This doesn't make up for middle school.
I haven't been scared of you for a long time.
She started to fold it, ready to pass it to the boys in front of her on its return journey. But then, she had a better idea. Johanna got up from her seat and shuffled past Linden into the aisle.
"What? Mason! Sit down!" Linden hissed, reaching out for Johanna's arm.
After a year of practicing together, Johanna was familiar enough with Linden's default moves to easily twist away from her friend's grasp. As she moved, she flashed Linden an insistent look that said, "I know what I'm doing", before striding forward down the centre aisle of the bus.
When she reached Olivia's seat, Johanna pushed the note into Olivia's chest, using her height advantage from her standing position to glare down at her former bully. Johanna held the paper there for a couple of seconds after Olivia's fingers had closed over it, forcing Olivia to make uncomfortable eye contact for a moment. Then, Johanna let go of the note before heading back to Linden, her heart racing.
"That was badass," Linden smiled approvingly as Johanna slid into the seat. "She's definitely not gonna fuck with you now."
Johanna broke into a decidedly un-badass giggle, blushing slightly at Linden's compliment, her heart still racing from the adrenaline rush.
"But if she does," Linden continued, suddenly serious again.
"We can handle her," Johanna finished her friend's sentence, with an appreciative smile.
Chapter 42: The Forest Apprenticeship
Chapter Text
The training for the apprenticeship placement in the forest was intense, but necessary. The children would be using various dangerous tools, and they needed to learn how to use them safely and effectively, for the sake of the apprentices, the workers, and for the equipment itself.
Johanna excelled at learning the skills quickly, and impressed her supervisors with her unexpected shows of strength and competence. She revelled in the little looks of surprise she earned as she carried heavy loads, or used her axe better than any of the other new apprentices in her group.
Though the training week was hard, it was also even more fun than Johanna had anticipated. The weather was perfect, her fellow apprentices were fun to be around, and though there were several complaints from others regarding how tired and achey they felt, Johanna liked finishing each day with a gratifying sense of exhaustion.
On the final afternoon of the first week, once the apprentices had all passed their basic training, their supervisors surprised them with a couple of hours of friendly competition. It was the perfect way to put their new skills to the test before boarding the bus home, and Johanna couldn't remember the last time she had smiled and laughed so much with her peers.
By the end of the competition, Johanna and Linden had both won prizes; Johanna came second place in the axe throwing contest (first place for her year group), and Linden’s team won the trio of sawing events.
When the real work began, Johanna and Linden weren't assigned to the same crew. Initially, they were disappointed. However, they both made fast friends with the students they were grouped with, and enjoyed their days despite generally having to work far apart.
On the few occasions that they did get to work together, Johanna and Linden had a tendency to get competitive. They even garnered something of a reputation for it among their fellow apprentices and supervisors, who occasionally encouraged them. But it was always good natured, and regardless of who won their impromptu competitions, Johanna and Linden always sat together on the bus home.
The work was hot and hard, but in a way that made the apprentices feel like they were doing something important. As they all grew more accustomed to the required physicality of the job, Johanna and her whole crew became proud to work in the forest. Their shared senses of purpose and pride bonded the crew in ways Johanna hadn't been able to imagine before. She couldn’t remember ever being so happy for so long. More than that, surrounded by trees and friends, wearing her uncle's old shirt whenever it wasn't too hot, Johanna felt at home. Plus, it was endlessly fun to drive axes through wood, like bread to be eaten.
Johanna and Linden continued to train together in the woods on the weekends, often with Justin, occasionally also with Jay, and even with Asher whenever he visited. Despite their differences, the boys all got on well, and seemed to enjoy learning about each other's lives.
Willow only visited Weston once all summer. To everyone's surprise, she and Linden managed to go the whole weekend without fighting. It was almost laughable to Johanna, now, to think she had been intimidated by Willow when they had first met. The two of them spent almost a whole evening chatting about the series of books she had borrowed, and when she left, Willow lent Johanna the first couple of books from a new series she recommended.
A few times after work, and a couple of times on a weekend after training, Johanna and Linden hung out with some of the other apprentices from their crews. Johanna hadn't explicitly intended to make friends with the other, mostly older, apprentices; it had just happened. While Linden was undoubtedly still her best friend, Johanna enjoyed having a social circle again, for the first time in years. She couldn't tell whether it would last past the end of the placement, but she hoped it would.
To top off the best summer of her life, Johanna's initial concerns regarding Olivia all turned out to be unfounded. Aside from travelling on the same bus to and from the forest, Johanna managed to avoid Olivia all summer long – right until the final day of the placement.
Because they had enjoyed the first competition so much, the apprentices wanted another opportunity to pitch their skills against each other at the end of the placement. They presented their case to the foreman as a way to measure how much their skills had improved over the summer, with as much professionalism as a group of teens could muster. The foreman had agreed, on the condition that the apprentices began work early, to ensure they had enough time to finish all their assigned tasks before the competition began.
Johanna had risen with the sun, got ready in record time, and then daydreamed of defending her axe-throwing title (as well as looking forward to watching Linden compete again) while she walked to the bus stop.
As she approached the bus, Johanna couldn't see any other students waiting. She definitely wasn't late; the bus was still there, after all. She wasn't especially early, either – though, it was possible she was the first to arrive. More likely, though, the other apprentices were playing a prank on her.
A few steps later, Johanna could see the bus driver wasn't in her seat yet. It probably wasn't a prank, then – unless the driver was in on it, too. But would they really be pranking Johanna, of all people?
Intrigued and a little confused, Johanna decided to check the waiting area on the other side of the bus. As she got closer, she faintly heard a giggle. She readied herself for a prank, just in case. She wasn’t really expecting one, though – the more she considered the possibility, the more she convinced herself the target of a prank would have to be one of the apprentices entering their final year of High School. She would probably be brought in on the joke as soon as she walked around the back of the bus…
But no. There wasn't a group of students preparing a prank behind the bus.
Johanna had rounded the scratched yellow corner to find something else entirely.
Utterly shocked, she froze in place. The other apprentices seemed to have the same shock and freeze reaction, too. All three of them were still and silent for a moment, in total disbelief. For Johanna, disbelief at what she'd just seen. For Olivia and the girl she sat next to on the bus, disbelief that they'd been caught.
Chapter 43: Not What It Looks Like
Chapter Text
Johanna wasn't sure how long it took her to regain enough sense to look away, but it was definitely too long to pretend she hadn't seen anything.
Finally, her senses returned to her in a tidal wave. She unfroze, and strode back around the bus again, her heart racing and her mind swimming.
"Johanna?" Olivia called out behind her. "It's… uh… it's not what it looks like!"
The sound of Olivia's footsteps triggered old instincts in Johanna, telling her to run. However, her brain told her there was nowhere to run to .
And anyway, now that she'd processed what Olivia had said, Johanna realised she sounded scared , not threatening.
Perhaps she didn't need to run at all.
Fighting her old instincts, Johanna turned around, ready to face her former bully.
Olivia hurried around the corner of the bus, then stopped after just a couple of paces, apparently unable to make herself move any closer. She stared at Johanna in horror. Johanna took comfort in both the distance Olivia had left between them – almost the whole length of the bus – and the fear in the girl's eyes. Unsure of what else to do, she adopted the most confident pose she could muster, and met Olivia's gaze.
Another stunned silence followed, with neither of the girls knowing what to do or say.
How could it have been anything other than what it looked like? Johanna wondered, as they both regarded the other.
In what was apparently becoming a habit in difficult situations, Willow appeared in Johanna's mind. She rolled her eyes at Olivia's pathetic protestation 'it wasn't what it looked like', and a barrage of cutting, sarcastic responses began to brew.
The other girl – who Johanna had somehow momentarily forgotten about – emerged from behind the bus, moving at a much more casual pace than Olivia had.
She was the girl who always sat next to Olivia on the bus; the girl whose hand Olivia had been holding at the reaping.
The girl Olivia had been kissing a few seconds ago.
She looked worried, too. But it was clear that her worry was on Olivia's behalf, rather than anything else. Her concern was oddly touching, but her relative lack of fear was making Johanna's confident mask difficult to maintain.
Johanna didn't like that she was outnumbered. The other girls, however, seemed to be waiting for her to speak. Johanna needed to decide how to respond to Olivia's assertion, 'it's not what it looks like' .
She could just go along with it. She could let Olivia come up with a ridiculous explanation for why her body and lips had been delicately pushed against the other girl's. She could pretend it was all a big misunderstanding, and never mention it again.
In fact, Johanna didn’t even need to waste time on an explanation. The kindest, most gracious thing to do would be to simply agree ‘it’s not what it looks like’, and walk away.
But even Justin wasn't that kind.
All the bullying Johanna had received from Olivia hadn't left her feeling particularly gracious towards the other girl.
Suddenly, Johanna realised this situation afforded her a rare opportunity. In this moment, she had the power to make Olivia feel a fraction of the terror she'd put Johanna through in middle school.
She decided to take it.
Channelling Willow to give her the confidence she needed to face the situation alone, Johanna smirked, then challenged the other girls.
"Really? 'It's not what it looks like' ?"
Johanna’s heart was pounding. Taunting her bully – former bully – was, objectively, a stupid move.
The fear in Olivia's eyes increased, feeding a part of Johanna she hadn't even realised was hungry.
Silently, enjoying the adrenaline rush and powerful feeling, Johanna watched Olivia falter, fruitlessly scrabbling for an alternative explanation.
After a few deliciously agonising seconds, still imitating Willow to help her navigate the unfamiliar territory, Johanna pushed for an answer, "What was it, then?"
Olivia squirmed, and Johanna lapped it up before delivering a direct challenge, "Because it definitely looked like you were kissing her against the side of the bus."
"No,” Olivia desperately protested, “I… We… We weren't…" She couldn’t form a full sentence, and her eyes were growing shiny.
"Come on, Liv," the other girl said, gently, "Let it go. She saw us."
Olivia stared back at Johanna through small pools of welling terror, her lower lip wavering as she begged, "Please don't tell anyone!"
The audacity of it enraged Johanna. Why did Olivia possibly think she was in a position to ask Johanna for help, after everything she'd put her through?
"Why?" Johanna snapped, letting her rage flood into her words, "After everything in middle school… Why do you think I would ever do anything for you?"
Olivia's face crumpled, spilling the tears she'd been trying to will away.
Despite it all, Johanna felt a pang of sympathy for the other girl. Olivia had apologised, after all. And it had been a long time since she'd committed any acts of cruelty against Johanna. Plus, she was probably still having a hard time after hearing her name called at the reaping a couple of months ago.
There was also the matter that Johanna could somewhat relate to the panic Olivia was feeling – especially after her Granny had believed Jay’s lie a few months ago.
Johanna pushed the wisps of sympathy away, not wanting to let herself feel sorry for Olivia.
A few tense seconds passed, filled with nothing but the sounds of Olivia’s sniffling as she failed to answer Johanna's mostly-rhetorical question.
Johanna didn't know how to proceed. She certainly didn't want to apologise, or to comfort Olivia. But the hunger and fun she had felt earlier had dissipated. She didn't want to take it any further, now – not without prompting, at least.
When the stalemate became clear to everyone, the other girl stepped in. She took a pace forward, half shielding the tearful Olivia from Johanna's view, and stared directly at Johanna. One eyebrow slightly raised in a confident challenge, which made Johanna’s stomach sink. Regardless, she tried her best to hold her ground, and mirror the girl's confidence. It was something she'd been practising in training, and she hoped it was paying off. It didn't matter how fake it was on the inside, as long as it looked real on the outside.
"Because," the girl paused after the single word, taking a moment to look Johanna up and down, making it even more difficult for Johanna to maintain her confident facade, "I've seen the way you look at Linden when she's sawing logs."
Johanna’s heartbeat started pounding in her ears. She felt sick. She hoped her confident mask was still, somehow, projecting itself. However, from the small, self-satisfied smirk on the other girl's face, she was fairly sure it wasn't.
"What do you mean?" Johanna asked, trying her best to sound braver and more ignorant than she truly was.
"I mean," the girl paused for effect again, and took another intimidating step forward, "If you tell anyone about Olivia, then I'll tell everyone about you."
"Cal," Olivia reached out and pulled back on the girl's arm, "Don't!"
Almost instantly, Cal threw her hands up in surrender and withdrew, "Sorry," she mumbled to Olivia, "Just trying to help."
"Johanna," Olivia tried again, "You… uh, you get it, right? You get why people can't know?"
"Yeah, I get it," Johanna replied, pointedly. "I know exactly how horrible it feels to have rumours going around about me."
The cutting reminder of their past seemed to hit Olivia just as hard as Johanna intended. Her eyes closed against the impact, and her voice broke as she desperately told Johanna, "I'm sorry!"
Cal and Johanna stared at each other for a long moment, neither sure how to proceed, but neither wanting to give in to the other. Meanwhile, more of Olivia’s tears fell.
Johanna tried her best to think rationally about the situation, despite her instincts telling her to run and hide. Through their half-unspoken words, they all knew about each other, now. While she absolutely didn't want to become friends with Olivia, she couldn't deny that they had suddenly found themselves in a position where they would benefit from being allies.
Johanna allowed her vulnerability to soften her.
"Okay,” she made a mild attempt to soothe Olivia, “I know you’re sorry.” Then, more quietly, she admitted, “And I do get it." She briefly looked into the eyes of both other girls, communicating the whole, complicated meaning of the words.
Hope and gratitude flooded Olivia's expression, simultaneously making Johanna proud of the kindness she’d offered, and annoyed that she’d offered it to Olivia.
"So, I won't tell anyone," Johanna promised, before thinking better of it and quickly clarifying, "Except Linden."
Worry returned immediately to Olivia's eyes, but she didn't protest.
Cal, however, just smirked, "Yeah, not surprising that she'd wanna know."
"No, no," Johanna panicked, stuttering out a hurried denial, for fear she had broken her promise to Linden not to tell anyone, "That's not what-"
"Relax," Cal interrupted. "Our crews had lunch together a lot. One time, she told me she thinks my supervisor is hot."
It was true; Linden had mentioned something about an attractive crew supervisor a few weeks ago. However, Johanna was surprised to hear she'd spoken about it to someone else. Cal's casual shrug didn't fit with Johanna's understanding of the situation. As far as she knew, Linden didn't want anyone to know she liked a girl. Was her harmless crush on the supervisor somehow different?
Johanna's surprise must have been obvious, because Cal soon corrected, "Well, she overheard me saying it, and she agreed."
That sounded more plausible – though still a little surprising.
The other girls seemed to be waiting for Johanna to move their standoff forward, but once again, Johanna was unsure how to proceed. In the end, she decided it was best to match Cal's almost-casual energy.
"Whatever," Johanna shrugged.
Cal had wrapped her arm around Olivia's shoulders, and began to murmur, soothingly, "It'll be okay, Liv. It'll be okay."
Jealousy quickly swamped all of Johanna's other emotions. She wasn't jealous of the people in front of her, one melting into the other's comforting embrace. She was jealous of the ease and care they shared. She wanted that, too.
She took the opportunity to excuse herself, and went to wait on the other side of the bus.
"Boo!" Linden popped up out of nowhere a few minutes later, hoping to spook Johanna with her sudden appearance.
Johanna, who was still tense from the morning’s events, and who had been bursting to tell Linden all about them, almost jumped out of her skin. After some gentle teasing from Linden, and laughter from both of them, Johanna began to recount the events.
"I got the wrong time this morning, and arrived half an hour early," Johanna began.
"I thought you were supposed to be smart?" Linden teased.
Johanna pulled a face and gave Linden a playful shove. Linden chuckled, smiling warmly at her friend.
"Yeah, well, I wasn't the only one who got it wrong," Johanna said, dropping her voice low and creating intrigue.
Linden shot Johanna a questioning look, and Johanna leaned in for privacy.
"Olivia was here. With Cal – the girl she sits next to."
For a split second, there was a flicker of something in Linden's eye. Recognition, perhaps? Johanna couldn't place it before it was gone, submerged in Linden's familiar mask of playful banter.
"Yeah, I know Cal. We have lunch with her crew sometimes. What happened? Did Olivia do something?"
"No, Lin. I mean she was here with Cal. I went to go sit on the benches, and Olivia was kissing Cal against the side of the bus!"
"Oh shit!" Linden's eyes opened wide.
"Yeah. I came over here to…" Johanna shrugged as she landed on a brief but awkward summary, "Leave them to it."
"Do they know you saw them?"
The bus roared into life, and students began to saunter towards it. Johanna and Linden held back, gaining themselves another minute of privacy.
"Oh, we had a whole conversation about it," Johanna replied, dryly. "Olivia begged me not to tell anyone, and Cal tried to threaten me."
Linden's face steeled into the protective expression Johanna hadn't seen in a long time. As unnecessary as it was, Johanna loved her for it.
"It's okay," Johanna reassured her friend. "Olivia called her off. I told her I won't tell other people – just you."
After a thoughtful pause, Linden said, "We probably should've figured it out. I mean, it’s no secret Cal likes girls, and they spend a lot of time together. And remember them at the reaping?"
Johanna did remember them at the reaping. And she knew they always sat together, too. But none of that necessarily meant anything, did it? If it did, then some of the other forest apprentices might have suspicions about her and Linden. Johanna hoped not, and she presented her arguments to Linden.
"But most of us sit in the same seats every day on the bus, and half the kids in the district hold hands at the reaping."
"I guess," Linden half-heartedly agreed, with an unconvinced shrug. “But don’t you think it’s a bit different, somehow, with those two?”
Johanna shook her head, not understanding what Linden meant.
The queue for the bus had almost all disappeared inside, so Johanna and Linden ended their conversation and joined their fellow apprentices. As they made their way to their usual seat, Johann and Linden passed Olivia and Cal. Olivia kept her gaze firmly fixed on the trees outside, but Cal's eyes seemed to burned into Linden and Johanna as they passed. Both Johanna and Linden met the challenge, confidently staring back, silently acknowledging the secret and bond they all shared.
Chapter 44: Fall and Winter
Chapter Text
Just days after the final forest apprenticeship competition (where Johanna and Linden both won prizes again), school resumed. The second year of high school didn’t need any adjustment; the students were used to handling their workload, apprenticeship placements, and free time, now. However, after spending the summer bonding with their respective crew mates, Johanna and Linden now found themselves wanting to spend time with their new friends, in addition to their usual training in the woods – making them considerably busier in their spare time than the previous year.
As the weather grew colder, and the social scene developed further, Johanna and Linden spent increasingly less time training together in the woods, and increasingly more time hanging out with their friends. To everyone’s surprise, somewhere along the way, the group had begun to include Cal and Olivia. Any time anyone dared to mention Olivia’s near miss at the reaping, Cal quickly shut them down. Before long, everyone had an understanding to never mention it again.
When the winter holiday arrived, Linden, as always, went to stay with her mother in the centre of the district. However, this time, with so many other friends to keep her occupied, Johanna didn’t miss Linden as intensely as before. Still, Johanna was ecstatic when Linden's letter arrived, and she delighted in writing a long reply, catching her up on all the social developments she had missed in her time away.
Having missed Linden less deeply than before, Johanna was caught entirely by surprise when her stomach flipped over at the sight of Linden rounding the corner on the first day back at school.
The surprise must have shown on her face, because Linden's expression grew curious and she asked, "What?" as she walked up to Johanna.
"Nothing," Johanna replied, opening her arms to welcome Linden back with a hug. "Almost forgot what you look like."
"I missed you, too, Mason," Linden hugged back, tightly, "Anything good happen when I was gone?"
As they walked the rest of the way to school, Johanna began to fill Linden in on everything that had happened since writing the letter. When they arrived, they joined a small group of their friends, and continued getting Linden caught up. Johanna let the others take over the conversation, losing herself in unwitting thoughts of how much she'd missed Linden's eyes, voice and laugh. Soon enough, those thoughts were gave way to others – largely of how much she wanted to kiss her again. Johanna was both grateful for and disappointed by the sound of the bell, forcing them into separate classrooms.
When the Victory tour arrived to District Seven, Johanna once again accepted an invite to sleep over with Linden at Yvie’s house. Over dinner with Yvie, the girls agreed they had been letting their training slip for the last couple of months. Although they had spent a little time studying plants, traps and knots with Justin, they hadn’t been to the woods in weeks. While Yvie didn’t seem concerned about their lack of physical training, both girls said they wanted to dedicate more time to it in the months leading up to the Hunger Games, and now that the weather had started to improve, they had no excuse. With Yvie’s help, they came up with a plan to ensure they prioritised training over socialising, and promised to keep each other accountable.
“I also think we should discuss your reaping plan,” Yvie told Johanna. “Perhaps when I visit Weston for Linden’s birthday, we could arrange to meet with your parents again?”
Intrigued about what might be changing, Johanna readily agreed.
A few days after the victory tour, Johanna and Linden returned to the woods. Without ever discussing it, they had never mentioned their training to any of their new friends. For reasons Johanna couldn’t articulate, their time together felt too private to share with their peers. She wanted their training in the woods to be just for them (and, when they wanted to invite them, their siblings). Perhaps Linden felt the same. Or, perhaps she was just worried that showing off her skills in the woods might finally lead the other children to suspect who her mother was. Somehow, after a year and a half in Weston, no one had ever asked.
As they approached their usual tree for the first time in weeks, memories of the kiss whizzed through Johanna’s mind. It sent a low ache throughout her whole body, and left her unable to concentrate on whatever Linden was saying about their new English teacher. Johanna watched Linden walk ahead, and then seamlessly climb a few feet up into the tree. Linden balanced with ease as she shrugged off her bag and jacket, then hung them from a broken branch. She had become a much better climber than when they had first ventured into the woods together, and Johanna was mesmerised by every strong, elegant movement of her athletic frame.
"...Mason?"
Linden was crouched down, waiting, her hand outstretched, ready to take Johanna’s bag.
"Sorry," Johanna apologised, shaking herself back to reality. She hurried to the tree and quickly began to remove her bag and jacket.
"Good daydream?" Linden teased as Johanna handed her the bag.
Johanna didn't answer – couldn’t answer. Her brain was too busy soaking in the sight of Linden stretching to the broken branch, to come up with any kind of reply.
"Thinking about your crush?" Linden continued teasing.
Johanna’s mind snapped immediately to attention. It had been a long time since they had spoken about anything like that; with so little time alone together recently, it just hadn't come up. Even at their recent sleepover, they had only really talked about friends, school, and training, before sleeping at a relatively reasonable time.
But now, all of a sudden, the topic seemed to be right back on the table.
And, with a curious rush of exhilaration, Johanna realised she wanted to discuss it.
Before she lost her nerve, Johanna admitted, honestly, "Kind of."
"No shit!" Linden chuckled, her face lighting up. She crouched down on the branch, then jumped to the floor with enviable ease. "I was just joking! I didn’t think you were actually thinking about her!”
“Then why did you ask?” Johanna pointed out, hoping to detract from the blush she could feel on her cheeks.
“Don’t know,” Linden shrugged, “Anyway. Are you gonna tell me who it is?"
Johanna was no longer feeling quite so ready for the conversation. At the same time, though, she didn’t want it to be over.
“Are you gonna tell me yours?” she fired back, without answering.
Linden chuckled again, shook her head, “No!” and began to stretch.
As they warmed up, Johanna once again found herself mesmerised by the way Linden moved. Their time away from training had apparently only intensified Johanna's feelings, and now that they were finally alone again, Johanna felt like her entire body was fizzing with months of pent-up energy.
“Why not?” Johanna challenged, not wanting to lose the momentum.
Linden opened her mouth to speak, but apparently couldn’t find an answer. Instead, after a few seconds of thought, she had a proposition for Johanna.
"How about we fight for it?"
“Fight for it?” Johanna was intrigued.
“Yeah. We have some kind of competition, and the loser has to tell the other person who their crush is."
Johanna considered it for a moment. Linden was undoubtedly a better fighter overall, which could put Johanna at a disadvantage. But did she even mind? A small part of her desperately wanted to finally tell Linden about the crush she’d known about for the past year, and wanted a reason to have to do it.
However, a bigger part of her was nervous about the potential impact on their friendship to do it.
And an equally big part was intrigued about who Linden liked. She barely dared to hope it might be her.
She needed more information before deciding. It would have to be a fair fight – one she had a good chance of winning.
“What kind of competition?” Johanna asked.
Linden thought for a moment, then offered, “Your choice.”
Johanna considered her options. She was the better climber, but climbing under pressure was too dangerous. She was the more accurate axe thrower, too. But she didn’t want to take Linden home to throw axes; she wanted this to remain private, just the two of them. She couldn’t suggest a race, or combat – Linden would undoubtedly beat her in those. Though, Johanna was certainly catching Linden up in wrestling. She had developed a lot of skills throughout their training, and over the summer, with Asher's help, she had grown in confidence. She had beaten Linden fairly regularly by the end of summer, and they were probably equally out of practice again, now.
"Wrestling?" Johanna suggested.
"Sure," Linden grinned, barely believing Johanna was agreeing to the game.
"But you're only allowed to use moves you've already taught me," Johanna quickly added, "So we're even."
"Deal," Linden stuck out her hand, still grinning with nervous anticipation. Johanna shook it, mirroring Linden's smile.
The girls took their time warming up, conscious that they were out of practice. They established that the 'loser' was the first person to get pinned for longer than three seconds, and then descended into friendly banter about how the other was going to lose.
When they were both ready to fight, Johanna and Linden paced around each other for a long time. Neither of them wanted to risk a misstep that would lead to their loss. Eventually, Linden took an opportunity and lunged for Johanna's legs. They both dropped to the floor quickly, rolling over multiple times as they both vied for control. They had never wrestled so cautiously before, no doubt due to what was at stake.
The match went on for minutes, with each of the girls briefly managing to pin the other a few times. Eventually, exhausted, filthy, and panting for breath, Linden finally managed to keep Johanna down for the three seconds required to claim victory.
"Three!" Linden called out, with triumphant relief.
Johanna stopped struggling, letting her head flop back on to the ground, breathing hard as she conceded defeat.
Linden loosened her hold, but remained looming over Johanna, smiling sweetly.
"A deal's a deal, Mason," Linden panted out, her eyes sparkling.
Even her self-satisfied smile was beautiful.
“Who’s your crush?”
Johanna's body was brimming with adrenaline, and the exertion from the match was pounding it around her system fast. It almost made her brave enough to answer the question there and then.
Almost.
Still pinned to the dirt floor of the woods, Johanna continued looking up at Linden as she tried to catch her breath. Her best friend's face was flushed from the effort of wrestling, and streaked with dirt and sweat. Loose strands of her dark, red-tinged hair framed it, swaying in the breeze. The anticipation and curiosity in her eyes was somewhat offset by the smug, victorious smile that had overtaken her lips – but despite it all, her expression was somehow full of kindness, too.
"Come on!" Linden prompted.
It would take less than a second for the syllable to leave Johanna’s lips. All she had to do was make one tiny sound, “You”.
But, even though she wanted to honour the deal she had made with her friend, to her frustration, Johanna found that her brain couldn't force her mouth to say it.
"It's the bus driver, isn't it?" Linden teased, much more patient than Johanna was being with herself.
"How did you know?" Johanna joked back, hoping that pretending to be normal would help reduce her anxiety.
Linden didn’t reply, this time. She just waited, still smiling kindly at Johanna, despite the hint of disappointment starting to show in her eyes.
An intense pause filled the air between them. Desperately, Johanna scrabbled for the courage to fill it.
Before she was able to speak again, Linden let out a gentle sigh. Soft and serious, she said, "It's okay, Mason."
Something akin to a sense of panic set in for Johanna. It was gracious of Linden to be getting ready to back out of the deal. But it was also unwelcome. Johanna didn't want to be let off the hook. She wanted the pressure of the deal behind her. She needed something to force her to finally tell Linden what she’d wanted to tell her for so long.
She tried again, concentrating on how her mouth would have to move to say, "It's you".
The words were so short, but they continued to fail her.
Linden shifted her weight, preparing to get up, away from Johanna.
Johanna didn't want her to go. She didn’t want the game to stop. She didn't want Linden to cancel the deal. And she really really didn’t Linden to move her perfect face any further away than it already was.
Linden’s disappointment had reached her voice, now, as she began to say, "You don't have to-"
“No!”
Before Linden could finish the sentence and move away, Johanna quickly lifted herself a few inches off the floor, reinstating the previous small distance between them.
Johanna’s movement made Linden pause. The girls’ gazes met again. The disappointment that had filled Linden’s eyes a moment ago had given way to a curious sense of surprise and hope, which made Johanna even more determined to give her friend the honest answer she’d tried so many times to give.
Another silent second passed, followed by another.
‘Just say it!’ Johanna’s mind was so full with the answer, that it wasn’t giving her mouth time to say it. Trying her best to take control, Johanna swallowed, took a breath, and finally parted her lips ready to speak.
This time, when the words failed her again, Johanna came up with an alternative plan.
Without any further hesitation, Johanna pushed herself higher off the floor, closed her eyes, and pressed her lips to Linden’s.
Chapter 45: It's You
Chapter Text
Linden flinched backwards, quickly breaking away from the kiss.
The terrifying potential consequences of the kiss flooded into Johanna’s mind, making her feel sick. Her heart hadn't stopped racing since the wrestling, but its pace had increased further, now.
What had she done?
Meanwhile, Linden stared back down at her with intense confusion. There was no joy in her expression. There was no horror, either, though.
Just pure, utter bewilderment.
"What?" Linden asked, her startled voice practically a squeak.
Johanna had spent months considering if, when and how to tell Linden that she liked her, trying to determine the perfect way to do it that would pose the minimal risk to their friendship. And now, instead, she had done this.
She had ruined it all.
Between Linden looming above her and the cold ground underneath her, Johanna felt trapped. She tried to swallow away her fear and regret, doing her best to concentrate on the semi-comforting knowledge that at least Linden hadn't run away yet.
What should she do?
After what felt like an age, but in reality was really only a couple of seconds, Johanna decided the most logical next step was simply to answer Linden’s ‘what?’
It wasn't as if she could somehow backtrack now; Linden would work out what the kiss meant sooner or later, when her shock wore off. Johanna took a breath, too tight and shallow to really prepare for the explanation she was about to give. Then, with her throat dry from the exercise and the fear, Johanna finally, quietly admitted what she’d been trying to say all along.
"It's you, Lin."
Johanna's eyes were wide, glistening with worry, vulnerability, and a tiny shred of hope. She desperately searched Linden's expression in the tense silence that followed, looking for any clues about what would happen to her now.
For an agonising second, nothing changed.
Then, gradually, Linden's confusion began to drain away.
And to Johanna’s relief and joy, it was replaced with excitement.
Neither of them had to say anything else. They both stopped holding their breaths, then laughed out their mutual relief as they leaned in at the same time, and kissed again.
Johanna and Linden didn't do any more training on their first day back to the woods. They lost track of time, excitedly chatting about how long they'd each known about their crush on the other, how long they'd wanted to tell each other, and even how Johanna hadn't realised at all until Linden had told her what a crush felt like.
It wasn’t just talking that interrupted the rest of their training session. On multiple occasions, they also found themselves kissing again.
Despite the lack of actual training in their training session, the slightly damp ground and long wrestling match had still left Johanna covered in more dirt than usual. She was aware of how muddy she’d got, and planned to get cleaned up as soon as she got home. However, she hadn't planned on running into her mother in the hallway.
"Johanna Mason, you are filthy!"Juniper smiled at her eldest child, and Johanna gave her mother a cheeky grimace of agreement.
"Wash those clothes immediately!" Juniper continued, conveying love, rather than annoyance, "What have you been doing!?"
"Wrestling," Johanna answered, happily.
"Back to your old games now it's warmer?" her Mom asked, fondly.
"Yeah, it was really good to be back in the woods after so long," Johanna replied, trying to keep her excitement in until after she had cleaned up, so she could take her time to tell her mother her happy news.
Johanna's mother, however, knew her daughter too well. She eyed her suspiciously for a moment, then asked, "Is that the only reason you're in such a good mood?"
Johanna immediately broke into a broad grin. She couldn't wait.
"I told her, Mom!"
Mrs. Mason's face lit up with excitement for her daughter. "And?"
"And she likes me, too!"
"Oh, Jo!"
Juniper moved half way in for a hug, before remembering she had a stack of clean clothes in her arms. The layer of mud all over her daughter would not be getting anywhere near the freshly laundered shirts. Instead, Johanna and her mother let their excitement out in a sort of jumping dance, their similar movements almost synchronised.
In their excitement, neither Johanna nor Juniper had noticed Justin, walking down the stairs almost silently.
"Is Linden finally your girlfriend?" Justin asked, taking his mother and sister by surprise; not only because they hadn't been aware of him above them, but also because he suddenly sounded like a bored, surly teenager, rather than the sweet little brother he had always been.
"No!" Johanna replied, quickly swinging from excitement to exasperation and a flash of fear. She hadn't planned on talking to her little brothers about the events of the afternoon, and she wasn't yet sure how much she wanted to share with Justin.
"We just…" Johanna trailed off slightly as she tried to decide what to tell Justin.
Justin continued to project an air of disinterest, despite asking questions, as he dryly suggested an ending to Johanna's sentence.
"Rolled around in mud?"
"Shut up!" Johanna fired back, embarrassed.
"Leave your sister alone," Juniper warned Justin, who was already on his way to the kitchen. Then, she turned back to Johanna with a warm smile, "Get yourself cleaned up, and then you can tell me all about it!"
Johanna, still feeling almost ready to burst from the excitement of it all, quickly kicked off her shoes, and hurried upstairs to get changed.
The next day, Johanna and Linden both left for school early. They met each other on the usual road, and somewhat awkwardly kissed after greeting each other. As they walked and talked, they eventually acknowledged that their greeting kiss had been weird, and by the time they arrived at school, they were laughing about it like friends again. A minute later, they had sneaked around the back of a building together, checked that the coast was clear, and kissed again – with much less awkwardness, this time.
Johanna's heart was racing with the excitement of it all. She almost couldn't believe it was real. Linden liked her back. Linden had kissed her back. And now, they were kissing again!
"I barely slept last night," Linden admitted when they broke away from each other.
"Me, too," Johanna agreed, wondering if her own expression matched the wonderment she could see in Linden's face. "I'd wanted to tell you for so long…"
"Same!" Linden laughed, sharing in the strangeness of the moment, before leaning in again.
Johanna rose onto her tiptoes and steadied herself on Linden's shoulders, smiling as she kissed her back.
From then on, Johanna and Linden began to leave for school early every day, giving themselves a few moments of privacy together before meeting up with their friends. Their training sessions in the woods became liberally sprinkled with kissing, as did their homework sessions, and any other time they were together, just the two of them.
They didn't really talk about what it all meant, which left Johanna feeling conflicted. On the one hand, Johanna often found herself wanting to ask Linden what they were to each other now. However, knowing that Linden was still a few weeks away from being allowed to date, Johanna didn’t want to risk putting a label on their situation – not if it meant they would have to stop. Instead, Johanna reluctantly resigned herself to a few weeks of uncertainty, rationalising it with a promise to herself to clarify the situation as soon as Linden was sixteen.
Chapter 46: Linden's 16th
Notes:
Updates are going to be really slow for a long while now. I've only got a couple more chapters written (not fully edited), but there's so much more story to write! Life has been really busy since before I started posting this fic, and while I have managed to get a bit more written over that time, it's been a few weeks now since I've managed to get anything new down, and I imagine it'll be a while longer, too.
Chapter Text
The day before Linden’s birthday, Yvie and Willow arrived in Weston to celebrate. Linden chose lasagne for her pre-birthday family meal, to which Johanna was also invited. The six of them enjoyed the evening together, despite Willow and Lindens endless attempts to wind each other up. The brewing tensions between the reunited sisters didn't stop Willow from offering to lend Johanna a book she thought she’d enjoy, and Johanna enthusiastically accepted. When Johanna’s father came to collect her at the end of the night, the parents arranged a meeting for the evening before Yvie left, to discuss Johanna’s updated reaping plan.
The next day, after gifts and cake in the morning, a long walk in the afternoon, and generous helpings of leftover lasagne, Harry, Marcus and Juniper went out for the evening, leaving Willow to supervise Linden’s birthday party.
Making a big deal of her generosity, Willow allowed Linden – as the birthday girl – to use the single bathroom at their uncles' house first. Linden didn’t take long to get ready, and was finished long before Johanna, her first guest, arrived.
“Happy birthday!” Johanna greeted Linden, launching into a hug.
She wanted to kiss her – of course she did. But she couldn’t do it in the house, with Linden’s family ready to walk around the corner at any moment.
“Thanks,” Linden replied, hugging Johanna tight before letting go, capturing Johanna’s face with her palm, and kissing her.
“Lin!” Johanna giggled a little, breaking away nervously.
“Harry, Marcus and Mom have left, and Willow is in the bathroom,” Linden explained, intuitively knowing the reason for Johanna’s hesitance.
Johanna relaxed, and smiled. “In that case,” she paused to give Linden another, fairly quick kiss, then again wished her, “Happy birthday.”
Johanna practically whispered the last words, her lips brushing against Linden’s as she spoke. Then, they kissed again – properly, this time.
When they eventually broke apart to catch their breaths, Linden looked down at Johanna with soft eyes and a dreamy smile.
“I think that was the best present I’ve had all day,” she said.
Something about the words sent another wave of desire through Johanna. She gently pulled on Linden’s face to bring them closer again, and kissed her even more passionately.
This time, they were interrupted by a knock on the door.
The girls jumped apart as if caught, awkwardly laughed for a moment, and then began to greet their friends.
By the time Willow was finally finished in the bathroom, the party had already started.
Taking advantage of the audience, Willow descended the stairs slowly, deliberately. Adorned as she was in a shimmering outfit from the capitol, along with a matching face full of flawless makeup, she grabbed the attention of almost every person in the house – for better or worse.
Linden rolled her eyes at her sister, but Willow ignored it, busy revelling in the attention of the Weston teens.
When she had finally made her way through the small crowd, Willow called out, loud enough for everyone to hear, "Happy birthday, little sis!"
She wrapped her arms around her sister in a tight hug, and Linden reciprocated – though her eyes performed another small roll at the show her sister was putting on.
"Thanks-” Linden began, but Willow immediately cut her off.
"Have you asked her out yet?" Willow whispered into Linden's ear as they hugged.
Mercifully, Willow had spoken quietly enough for most people to miss the question. But Johanna had been close enough to catch every word.
Willow was probably only trying to wind Linden up, not expecting a proper reply. Johanna, however, very much wanted to know the answer. Linden was sixteen now, and therefore allowed to date. Johanna hoped she was planning to ask her out soon - maybe even tonight?
Linden shoved Willow away from the hug, and angrily told her, "Don't, Willow!"
"What!?" Willow feigned innocence.
"Please, Will," the quiet desperation in Linden's voice pulled at Johanna's heart, "Not tonight. Not in front of everyone."
Disappointment hit Johanna. She hadn’t known how high she’d let her hopes get, until they were dashed. Did Linden not even want to date her? Or did she just not want Willow to talk about it?
“Sorry,” Willow offered a convincing apology, holding her hands up in surrender. Then, with an almost-condescending raised eyebrow, she added, "You really think they don't know?"
Linden looked around, shrugged, and shook her head.
Willow leaned in to whisper into Linden's ear again. This time, her words weren't audible to Johanna over the sounds of the party. A couple of times, Johanna noticed Willow's eyes flicking up to look at her as she spoke. Then, Willow patted Linden's shoulder, and left the room.
"What was that about?" Johanna allowed her intrigue to take over, questioning Linden the moment Willow was gone.
"She had some sisterly advice to share," Linden replied, dryly.
"What does that m-"
"Happy sixteenth birthday!" Willow reappeared in the doorway, once again stealing the attention of everyone in the room. She was brandishing a large bottle of clear liquid, which Johanna guessed wasn’t water. The partygoers cheered at the sight of the drink, and Linden grinned at her sister, everything forgiven.
"If you tell Mom about this, I will end you," Willow warned, passing the bottle over to her sister. Linden just laughed, took the bottle, and thanked Willow with another hug.
After a quick birthday song, and a shot that made Linden wince so hard her eyes watered, Willow proposed a drinking game. She divided the attendees into two teams, and made each player write a forfeit on a slip of paper. The slips were then placed face-down in front of the other team, and players took turns to throw a small stone at the other team’s papers. If the stone landed on a piece of paper, then the thrower nominated a member of the other team to either do whatever was written on the paper, or to do a shot of liquor.
By far the most nominations went to Linden; partially because it was her birthday, and partially because she was very accurate with her stones, which the other team wanted to hinder.
As competitive as she was, Linden largely chose to carry out the forfeits, rather than taking another mouthful of the burning liquid. By the time Linden’s team had uncovered all but one piece of paper, a moustache had been drawn on Linden’s face, she had licked a shoe, and she had swapped outfits with one of the boys.
After a long losing streak, the other team finally landed another stone on another slip, and the room filled with an elated cheer.
“I choose…” Cal, who had been the one to throw the stone, pretended she was making a difficult decision, “The birthday girl again!”
Linden smiled as she pretended to groan, and her friends laughed. Someone picked up the slip of paper, and passed it over to Linden.
"Kiss a teammate,” she read aloud.
The rowdy teens began to cheer, jeer and speculate who Linden would choose. From her position opposite Linden, Johanna couldn’t join in with the fun. A wave of mild nausea had come over her. She had no right to feel this way, really. They weren’t girlfriends. Johanna couldn't reasonably demand any kind of fidelity from Linden. And anyway, this was far from infidelity; it was just a silly drinking game.
None of Johanna's logical arguments to herself changed the fact that she really didn’t want to watch Linden kiss someone else.
Just as she was about to avert her gaze in an attempt to ignore the ensuing kiss, Linden caught Johanna’s eye.
Somehow, across the several feet of space between them, she managed to communicate reassurance.
“You know what?” Linden called out over the noise, commanding attention in a surprisingly similar way to her sister, “I think I’m feeling a little thirsty…”
“Shot!” one of the teens called out, and others quickly joined in to form a chant.
Linden and Johanna made momentary eye contact again, this time communicating a mixture of relief and gratitude, before Linden’s gaze turned to the small glass of liquid being thrust into her hand. She raised it, smiled around at her chanting friends, then downed it in one, to a chorus of cheers.
Miraculously, there were no further mentions of a kiss, and the game resumed.
After a second drinking game, the empty liquor bottle was retired back to Willow’s hiding place, while its contents continued working its way into the bloodstreams of the underage teens. A few people started up a third game, and the rest seemed content chatting and dancing together in small groups, all enjoying the party in their own ways, pleasantly comfortable in each others company.
In contrast, Willow had found herself alone for most of the party. Despite her dramatic entrance, games ideas and fancy clothes – or, perhaps, because of them – she had ended up sipping beer in the corner of the room, looking bored as she watched the party around her.
When Johanna was unlucky enough to be out in the first round of the game, she decided to check on Willow.
“I’ve almost finished that book already,” Johanna opened the conversation on one of their favourite topics; the series they were both reading. Willow had lent Johanna the most recent book after the previous day’s meal, and Johanna had spent hours before the party devouring as many pages as she could.
The two of them discussed the series for a while, enjoying the opportunity to really get into the details now that Linden was occupied with a game. After a few minutes, though, Willow bluntly changed the topic.
"So,” Willow said, re-crossing her legs and turning inwards, “You and Linden…?"
Willow wasn’t teasing Johanna; she had spoken quietly, seriously. Her muted volume didn't detract from her archetypical, direct manner, though.
Usually, Johanna would have found such a direct, personal question intimidating. However, the couple of mouthfuls of liquor she had tried (before swearing off the disgusting drink for good) had given her a little confidence boost.
Perhaps foolishly, she decided to take Willow's challenge head-on.
"What about us?" she shot back, trying her best to mirror Willow's mannerisms.
Willow clearly hadn't expected to be met by Johanna's calm challenge, and Johanna enjoyed the little flash of surprise in her expression. Willow didn't let it rattle her, though. She proceeded with as much calm confidence as before, holding Johanna's gaze with a strong challenge.
"You tell me."
Johanna didn’t know what to say, or how to say it. She didn’t want Willow to know she was unsure of herself, though. So, once again, she channelled Willow's energy to help herself project a confidence she didn't quite have.
Johanna rolled her eyes as she replied, "She told me you think we're dating."
"Well, are you?" Willow persisted.
"No!" Johanna answered, truthfully.
"But you do like each other."
Willow stated it as fact, rather than posing it as a question. It was too much – too direct – this time, and Johanna hesitated.
Johanna didn't want to confirm it. But she wasn't great at lying, either. Her mind whirred as she tried to compose a reasonable reply. She definitely couldn't keep up her cool act much longer. What could she do? Deny it, even though Willow would probably see through her lie immediately?
No, she realised. She didn't want to lie.
When Willow smirked, Johanna instantly knew she had hesitated for too long. Her silence was as good as an admission.
"It's okay," Willow told Johanna, sounding more kind than Johanna had ever heard her.
Tears began to sting the edges of Johanna's eyes, prompted by Willow's comforting voice and the warm feeling of the alcohol she'd consumed.
"Oh sweetie, don't worry," Willow's hand squeezed Johanna's knee, surprising her with kindness again, "I won't tell anyone."
"I'm not worried," Johanna corrected, only realising how true it was after the words left her mouth.
"Good," Willow's approving smile and nod helped to dry up Johanna's unspilled tears. "You don't need to be, you know."
"I know."
"So, why do you look so anxious."
"I just… I don't know what to do now," Johanna confided, surprising herself with her honesty.
"Have you told her?" Willow asked, gently.
"Yeah," Johanna nodded.
Willow's eyes and mouth widened in a surprised gasp, making Johanna giggle. Another effect of the liquor, she assumed.
"When!?" Willow demanded, a scandalised smile rapidly growing.
"Uh, about a month ago," Johanna answered.
"Linden!" Willow called across the room, to where her sister was watching another round of the game, "You didn't tell me!"
Linden's eyes widened as she took in the sight of Johanna and Willow sitting next to each other. An expression of understanding and fear swept across her face. She hurried over, almost shouting at her sister as she moved
"Willow! Stop interrogating my friends!"
"But how else am I gonna find out all the important stuff!?" Willow teased, using the fake innocent tone that always infuriated Linden.
"You're not," Linden was speaking quietly now, practically hissing at her sister, "Because it's none of your fucking business who I kiss!"
Willow gasped with delight again, barely believing her luck that Linden had let even juicier information slip.
"You've kissed!?!?" she grinned, barely remembering to keep her voice low. "Yeeeess! Asher owes me two weeks of chores!"
"Fuck you!"
Linden's slightly drunk voice didn't manage to pack much venom into the insult, and Willow just laughed at her sister.
"Come on," Linden said, clamping a firm but friendly hand on Johanna's shoulder, "Let's get you away from the evil sister, before she tries to squeeze any more information out of you."
"Out of me?" Johanna laughed at the accusation, "I didn't tell her much, Lin. The kiss thing was all you!"
"Well, then," Linden corrected herself with a smile, "Let's get me away from her," she broke into a smile as she led Johanna towards the stairs.
"Don't do anything that'll get me in trouble with Mom!" Willow called after them.
Linden didn't look back as she silently replied with a vulgar hand gesture.
Chapter 47: Linden's 16th (part 2)
Chapter Text
The girls raced up the stairs together, hurrying away from Willow's prying questions in a giggly, tipsy haze. Through the crack in the door, they could see Betty on Linden’s bed, taking refuge from the party downstairs. She briefly acknowledged the familiar humans as they bustled into the room, then stretched, and settled down again to continue her nap.
"So," Linden began, turning to face Johanna who had followed her into the room, “What was Willow asking you?”
As she spoke, she reached past her to close the door behind them. The action brought the girls into close proximity, and Johanna couldn’t tell whether it was a coincidence, or whether Linden had deliberately orchestrated the situation. Johanna smiled to herself as she thought about the fact they were sharing the same air, both breathing a little deeper than usual from running up the stairs. It was familiar from their training, but at the same time, newly intimate.
"Just if I liked you, and if I'd told you yet," Johanna summarised, her heart and mind both racing.
"That's it?"
"Uh huh," Johanna nodded, smiling.
Linden’s mild frustration with herself over accidentally revealing their kiss to her sister was adorable.
"And what did you say?" Linden continued quizzing Johanna, growing increasingly playful as her concerns faded away.
There was a slight flush on her cheeks, from the alcohol and the general warmth of the party. Her hair was tousled from running up the stairs. Her chest was rising and falling more noticeably than usual.
And there was still such a small distance between them.
"The truth," Johanna smiled up at Linden, her confidence still boosted by her couple of swallows of liquor. She chose her phrasing carefully, rewording the conversation she was recounting to fit the fun, playful tone of the moment.
"I told her I like you, and you know it."
If Johanna had been able to tear her eyes away from Linden's, she would have been surprised by the lack of visible sparks crackling around them, the energy felt so tense.
"Yeah, I do," Linden grinned back at Johanna.
A stray lock of hair had fallen in front of Linden's face, slightly obscuring Johanna's view of Linden's eyes. Instinctively, Johanna reached out, and gently pushed it out of the way.
After all the tension they had already built, the action was enough to tip them over the edge. Their lips met in the middle, and their bodies followed, quickly closing the gap between them, wanting to be as close as possible.
Between the sudden movement and their first experience of liquor, the girls slightly lost their balance as they kissed. Johanna leaned herself back against the door for stability, bringing Linden with her.
The feeling on Linden's lips against hers, and the gentle pressure of Linden's body pinning her against the door, completely overtook Johanna's mind. It was the most intense kiss they had ever shared, and it left Johanna able to feel her increasing heart rate in every corner of her body.
She had no idea how much time had passed when they were interrupted by a sudden jolt from behind her.
"Linden!" Willow's voice sounded surprisingly stern, "Unblock your door!"
The girls practically jumped away from the door, giggling as if they'd been caught doing something wrong.
"It's not blocked!" Linden insisted, as her sister flung it open.
"What were you doing?" Willow was still suspicious.
"None of your business!" Linden answered, pushing the door shut again.
Willow caught the door with her foot, kicking it open so fast it banged into Linden's arm.
"Ow!" Linden complained.
Willow strode into the room, ignoring her sister's complaint.
"Well, at least your clothes are still on," she said, sounding almost comically judgemental.
"OH MY GOD, WILL!" Linden grabbed her sister, and began to wrestle her back out of her bedroom, "Leave us alone!"
Willow didn't put up as much of a fight as she could, choosing instead to observe the girls for a few seconds as Linden shoved her back over the threshold.
"Just… Keep the door open, yeah?" Willow attempted to compromise.
"No," Linden smiled sweetly at her sister, slammed the door in her face, and positioned herself against it to prevent her sister trying to enter again.
"Linden!" Willow called, struggling with the door.
"Help!" Linden told Johanna.
Johanna sprang into action and joined Linden leaning against the door, giggling a little again from her earlier sips of liquor.
"She's so nosey," Linden rolled her eyes, speaking deliberately loudly for her sister to hear.
While Willow struggled to open the door again, and Linden and Johanna struggled to keep it closed, Betty awoke. She grumbled at the disruption, and stretched out on the bed. She then paused to watch the girls holding the door for a moment, before jumping down, and sauntering coolly over to them. In the absence of her owners, Betty had apparently chosen to take on the role of responsible adult.
When Linden noticed the cat had almost put herself in harm's way, she immediately called out to her sister, "Wait! Will, wait. Betty's by the door."
Willow paused her bombardment, and Betty promptly reached her front paws up to the door, letting out a large meow, demanding to be freed from the room.
"Okay," Linden spoke to the cat, carefully opening the door for her.
Either Betty was a master of strategy, or she had momentarily forgotten about the party she was avoiding downstairs. After just a couple of small steps, she hesitated between the door and the frame, and then sat down, preventing Linden from closing it again.
Johanna wondered whether the cat was used to intervening in the sisters' fights.
“Seriously?” Linden asked the cat.
At the sound of Linden’s question, Betty looked up at the humans, as if surprised to find them all staring at her.
If Willow and Linden’s fight had been serious, one of the sisters might have moved the cat to continue arguing. But today, they reached an instant, silent agreement to drop it.
All three of the teens burst into laughter at the cat’s expression.
"Make your mind up, Betty!" Linden encouraged, still laughing.
The cat didn't move, and the girls laughed more.
"Okay, Kitty. You win," Willow was the first to give in. She sat on the floor just outside Linden's bedroom, and began to stroke the cat.
After a moment, Linden moved to join them on the floor.
"Don't let us interrupt you," Willow teased her sister, earning herself an irritated glare as Linden sat down, “You and Johanna can carry on whatever you were doing.”
"Very funny," Linden retorted, reaching out to rub Betty's chin, as Johanna sat down, too.
"I meant what I said about not doing stuff that will get me in trouble with Mom," Willow levelled, using a softer iteration of her normal voice.
"Yeah, and I'm not doing anything," Linden insisted.
Willow, not prepared to believe her sister, looked to Johanna for confirmation.
"We weren’t," Johanna corroborated, blushing red at the thought of it.
“Nothing?” Willow probed again.
"The only thing that will get me in trouble is all that liquor you made me drink!" Linden enjoyed turning the tables on her sister.
"Okay," Willow relented, with a soft laugh. "Then, what were you doing for almost half an hour in your bedroom?"
“Half an hour,” Linden scoffed at her sister’s exaggeration.
“You were up here for more than twenty minutes,” Willow insisted, her expression serious.
Johanna blushed even more deeply as she realised it might be true. Had they really lost track of time so easily?
“Just hanging out with Betty,” Linden lied relatively smoothly – though she wasn’t good enough to fool Johanna or Willow.
“Sure you were,” Willow made it clear she didn’t believe her sister, but that she was also prepared to drop the subject.
Betty suddenly stood again. She elegantly made her way to the top of the stairs, before sitting down again and looking pointedly back at the girls.
“Do you need your dinner?” Willow asked the cat.
Betty continued to silently stare at them, which Willow took as confirmation.
“Look. I’ll give you two some privacy but… be back down in five minutes, okay?” Willow compromised.
“Fine,” Linden reluctantly agreed.
“It’s your party, Lin!” Willow pointed out, as she began to make her way downstairs, “You can’t abandon your friends all night!”
Johanna couldn’t argue with Willow’s logic; disappearing for half an hour in the middle of your own party was terrible hosting.
“We’ll be five minutes!” Linden promised, closing the door again.
‘Five more minutes together,’ Johanna thought to herself. If they only had five more minutes of privacy tonight, she wanted to make the most of it.
“Well, uh, that kind of killed the mood,” Linden’s awkward summary made Johanna’s stomach flip. How could a person be so cute, without even trying?
“I can’t believe how long we were up here!” Johanna marvelled, partly hoping to help Linden relax, and partly genuinely wanting to share her astonishment.
“Yeah, I really thought it had been like… five minutes,” Linden agreed, almost shyly.
Betty meowed loudly outside the door, breaking the tension even further with another opportunity for the girls to laugh. A moment later, she began to claw at the frame, and Linden let her back in. She brushed against Johanna’s leg, and then looped back around to Linden, pacing out her hunger and general disdain of the party.
“Come on,” Linden said, scooping the cat into her arms, and taking her over to the bed. Johanna followed, telling Betty she was a good kitty as the three of them settled on the bed together.
‘Four minutes,’ Johanna thought, as she stroked the purring cat. ‘Four minutes left for Linden to ask me out.’
“We should play Jenga when we go back downstairs,” Linden suggested, before hurriedly clarifying, “Not just, like, normal Jenga. Marcus and Harry’s set has dares written on the blocks, so it’ll actually be fun!”
“Sounds good!” Johanna agreed, feigning enthusiasm, despite the fact that she couldn’t think of anything but her dwindling time alone with Linden.
‘Three and a half minutes.’
“Maybe Betty will play,” Linden spoke mostly to the cat. “You are invited to the party, you know? You don’t have to stay up here.”
‘Why are we talking to the cat when there’s only three more minutes for you to ask me out?’ Johanna’s thoughts were dangerously close to escaping through her mouth, with the help of whatever liquor was left in her system.
“You didn’t need to wait for us to find you and bring your dinner,” Linden was still talking to Betty, who didn’t seem to be listening.
Johanna was listening, though. And it had given her an idea.
‘I don’t need to wait for her, either. I could ask her out.’
Johanna had no plan. But she had Dutch courage, time pressure, and months of longing, all conspiring together to persuade her to go for it.
“So, uh,” Johanna’s nerves kicked in the moment she started speaking. But she was determined to finish, and pushed through the feeling this time. She took comfort in the soothing sensation of Betty’s soft fur against her fingers, as she formulated what to say next.
“Now that you’re sixteen, are you allowed to date?”
Encouragingly, hope filled Linden’s expression.
“Yeah, I guess so,” Linden answered, trying but failing to play it cool, as a grin forced its way onto her lips.
“Then, uh, would you like to go on a date with me some time?” Johanna asked, speaking so quickly the words seemed to merge into one.
“Yes please!” Linden’s full smile exploded onto her face, and Johanna couldn’t resist leaning over and kissing her.
The girls lost track of time again, until they were interrupted by Willow, carrying a dish of food for Betty.
“Get a room!” Willow joked, as she cat leapt off Linden’s lap towards the human with the food.
“We’re in one!” Linden replied, launching a pillow at her sister – who expertly batted it back.
“Sooo,” Willow dragged out the word as she placed the cat’s food on the floor, “Are you two dating now?”
“Are you minding your own fucking business now?” Linden mimicked her sister’s tone, refusing to answer the nosy question.
The smiles on the girl’s faces were all the confirmation Willow needed, though.
“Finally!” Willow laughed, simultaneously sounding smug and happy for the girls. “You know you’ve got to tell Mom before we leave, right?”
“Obviously!” Linden coated the word thickly with her annoyance.
“If you don’t, then I’m telling her as soon as we get home!”
“Urgh! Can you at least stop being a bitch on my birthday?”
“I am!” Willow replied, in her infuriatingly sweet tone. “Now come back downstairs, before your friends start wondering what you’re doing.”
Linden and Johanna looked at each other, their eyes widening as they simultaneously realised how suspicious their disappearance might seem. After a moments pause, they scrabbled up from the bed and rushed downstairs, with the sound of Willow’s fond laughter ringing behind them.
Chapter 48: Casual
Chapter Text
Technically, Johanna didn’t quite make it home before her curfew. A group of her friends who lived in the same direction had all walked home together, taking a longer route than Johanna had anticipated so they could drop people off at their houses along the way. When she had apologised and explained this to her father, who had waited up for his eldest child to return, he was quick to forgive the four additional minutes Johanna had taken to get home.
“Just make sure you’re on time next time, okay?” he smiled quietly, making sure not to disturb the sleeping family upstairs.
“I promise,” Johanna nodded, relieved not to be in trouble. She absolutely didn’t want to get grounded again – not now that she had a date to plan!
“Did you have a good time?” Arthur smiled, already knowing the answer from the expression on his daughter’s face.
“Yeah!” Johanna nodded, grinning.
“And did Linden enjoy her birthday party?”
“Yeah!” Johanna was almost bursting with excitement.
“What did you get up to?”
“Played some games, chatted to people,” Johanna’s smile was still growing, and her father could see there was more she wanted to share.
“And?” he prompted.
“And I asked Linden out on a date, and she said yes!” Johanna practically squealed with excitement, leaving no space at all between the words.
Arthur held out his arms, and Johanna fell into them, hugging her father tight.
“No wonder you both had a good night!” Arthur said against Johanna’s hair, sharing his daughter’s excitement, “Tell me all about it!”
For the next few minutes, Johanna happily recounted the events to her father, who responded with loving enthusiasm, despite his tiredness. Johanna promised to share the news with her mother in the morning, and then the two of them finally headed to bed.
Sleepless minutes turned to hours as Johanna’s excitement kept her up long into the morning. As much as she tried, she couldn’t stop her mind replaying the night, and mulling over various details of what she might do for her and Linden’s first date. When she finally managed to fall asleep, her dreams reflected her busy mind, filled with echoes of the party and anxieties about her upcoming date.
In the morning, Johanna was the last member of the family to wake. Though she had only managed a few hours of sleep, she found herself energised by memories of the party and thoughts of her upcoming date. She practically ran down the stairs and headed for the kitchen to get breakfast.
“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Juniper greeted her daughter with a smile, and a warm bowl of porridge. “Dad said you had a good time last night?”
It was all the invitation Johanna needed to tell her mother the good news. The porridge grew cold as Johanna’s spoonfuls stretched out between her excited chatter. Juniper delighted in her daughter’s joy, and even began helping her come up with some ideas for what she might do on her first date. By the time Johanna’s bowl was finally empty, she had it all planned.
She couldn’t wait for next weekend.
The next day, school and apprenticeship dragged as Johanna watched the minutes count down to her reaping plan meeting with Yvie. She practically ran out of the warehouse when the bell rang, hurried home to wash up, and then waited a few impatient minutes for her father to get ready. Thankfully, she didn’t have to hurry Arthur along as they walked; he seemed almost as excited as her to eat Marcus’ cooking again.
For a short while, the adults made smalltalk about Yvie and Willow’s visit, and Linden showed Johanna her impressive array of birthday gifts. Then, they sat down to an incredible dinner of bean and vegetable stew with soft, buttered bakery bread. Dinner conversation began with the topic of Linden’s birthday, allowing Willow to naturally introduce the topic of Johanna and Linden officially dating.
Both Linden and Johanna flushed red, embarrassed by the idea of discussing their new relationship status with their respective parental figures. The adults, however, took it in their stride.
“I can’t say any of us are surprised,” Yvie gently teased, flashing a kind smile at both girls.
“Us neither,” Arthur spoke for himself and Juniper, also beaming fondly.
The lack of drama was clearly disappointing to Willow, who was trying not to let it show.
“But we are all very happy for you,” Marcus raised his glass in a toast – inadvertently causing Johanna and Linden more embarrassment than Willow had managed.
“Yes, your Mom and I are very happy you’ve found such a lovely person,” Arthur agreed.
“Here, here,” Yvie concurred, leading to glasses clinking and cheeks burning.
After a dessert of leftover birthday cake, Yvie led Johanna, Arthur, and Linden, to the living room, for the meeting.
The moment everyone was settled, Yvie got to business.
“Now, I’ve suggested this meeting to discuss some new considerations and minor changes to your reaping plan this year.”
Johanna had forgotten how much of an expert Yvie was. It was simultaneously comforting and intimidating.
“Firstly, we need to discuss your relationship, and how it could impact your reaping.”
Once again, Johanna and Linden’s cheeks burned simultaneously. Relationship. They hadn’t even been on a date yet!
“I’m not saying this to embarrass you,” Yvie added with a small, apologetic smile, “And to be honest, this mostly would have applied to you as best friends, anyway.”
The reassurances soothed Johanna’s nerves a little, but she was still uncomfortable with the idea of discussing her brand new relationship. It sounded far too official for something so new.
“Really, we should have thought about this more last year,” Yvie continued.
“About what, Mom?” Asked Linden, stroking Betty on her lap.
“Well. From what I could see from my seat on the stage, you two appeared to be holding hands at the reaping?” Yvie half-asked.
Johanna felt a strange guilty twinge as she nodded. Did Yvie think they had begun dating before Linden was allowed?
“Yeah,” Linden confirmed, defensively, “Everyone does!”
“I know,” Yvie agreed, trying to keep everyone calm, “But what I’m saying is, not everyone seeks comfort from the daughter of a victor.”
Some understanding dawned over everyone in the room, and they patiently waited for Yvie to elaborate further.
“If your name was called, and the cameras showed you holding Linden’s hand, or hugging her – either as your friend or girlfriend – there could be a lot of interest in you, due to your connection to a victor’s child.”
“Which wouldn’t exactly fit with your current strategy,” Arthur realised, following Yvie’s point quicker than Johanna.
“Exactly,” Yvie nodded. “And to clarify, this doesn’t mean you can’t stand together at the reaping. It just means we need to reconsider our options.”
“Okay,” Johanna nodded back.
She concentrated hard for a moment on gaining control over the worries forming in her mind. She hated the idea of enduring the reaping without Linden’s support. From Linden’s expression, the feeling was mutual. But Yvie had made a good point; how would Johanna be able to follow through with her plan to make herself forgettable, if she was shown to be holding hands with the child of a celebrity as her name was chosen?
“Do you have any initial thoughts?” Yvie asked, gently.
“I don’t want to be alone,” Johanna admitted, “But I don’t want to be memorable, either.”
Arthur’s comforting arm draped over Johanna’s shoulders, as Linden’s comforting hand found her knee.
“I know, sweetie,” Yvie sympathised, “And I know it’s not fair for either of you to have to miss the other’s support at the reaping. But if you want to be forgettable on the offchance your name is chosen, then I think it’s best for you to stick with your other friends.”
“I think I have an idea,” Linden piped up.
Everyone turned to look at her, intrigued.
“We’re friends with Olivia,” Linden began, gauging her mother’s response before quickly clarifying, “The girl chosen before Daisy volunteered.”
“Ohhh,” Yvie responded, thoughtfully.
“So, if we had a whole group of friends together at the reaping, including Olivia, then the broadcast might focus on her more than me, for the story. And then the mentors and other tributes would still forget about Johanna, because some random girl who nearly got reaped once isn’t important to them.”
“Who raised you to be so smart?” Yvie joked, proudly.
Johanna’s hopes soared, while Yvie mulled it over for a while.
“It’s a little risky, but it could work,” she eventually declared. “If you stand with a whole group of friends, including this Olivia, and you make sure not to favour Linden over any of the others – especially Olivia – then you two can probably stand together without attracting too much attention.”
The girls smiled at each other, relieved by the news.
“You would really have to downplay it, though,” Yvie reiterated, sternly. “If you’re reaped, and the escort asks you, ‘was that Yvie Cooper’s daughter you were standing with?’ you’d have to try and brush it off casually. Something like, ‘oh, yeah, she joined our school a couple of years ago’. Do you think you could do that?”
Johanna nodded, hoping she looked more sure of herself than she felt.
“No, don’t say that,” Linden chimed in again. “If you get reaped and asked about me, you should just pretend you don’t even know who my Mom is, like everyone else at school.”
“They really don’t know?” Yvie asked, her brow full of disbelief.
“Yeah, even after the party!” Linden insisted.
Yvie turned to Johanna, who confidently confirmed, “No one has ever asked me about you. I don’t think they know.”
“I’m amazed that you, of all people, have managed to keep the secret so long,” Yvie chuckled fondly at her daughter, “But yes, you’re right – that’s definitely an option, too.”
“That might be easier,” Johanna thought aloud. “If everyone at school suddenly found out Yvie is your mom, they’d all be shocked. I could just join in with them.”
“If you’re all happy with the risk,” Yvie looked between Johanna, Arthur and Linden, who all gave small nods of approval, “Then that can be your plan. If your name is chosen, you’ll still try to be forgettable, and you’re just casual friends with Linden.”
“And you definitely don’t know my Mom,” Linden added.
“Your name won’t be chosen anyway,” Arthur reminded his daughter and himself.
“I know, Dad,” Johanna leaned against her father, taking comfort in his familiar warmth.
“I should warn you,” Yvie continued, sounding serious again, “If you’re pretending not to know Linden, then if you’re chosen, it would be best not to let her visit you before leaving.”
Johanna hadn’t given much thought anything after the reaping. She knew tributes’ friends and families were given a few minutes to say goodbye before departing for the capitol, but she’d never imagined herself in that position before.
The girls exchanged pained glances at the idea. The anguish was almost enough to make Johanna change her whole plan, but she managed to resist.
“However,” Yvie continued, “In the unlikely event Johanna ever becomes one of my mentees, I’m sure I could find some opportunities to let her use my phoneline to home.”
Still processing the information, Johanna and Linden both simply nodded. It would be better than nothing, if it came to it.
“As for the rest of the plan,” Yvie continued, “I’m happy for it to remain the same, if you are?”
Johanna had grown quite used to the idea of remaining as unnoticeable as possible. It seemed that her family had, too, as her father looked to her for her answer.
“Yes,” Johanna agreed, with a more enthusiastic nod.
“Make sure you wear something unexciting, unthreatening. I would suggest a plain dress that covers up those strong shoulders you all grew on your summer placement.”
A half-shy, half-proud smile burst onto Johanna’s face at the mention of her physique, so different from last year already.
“We don’t want anyone guessing how good you are with an axe before they see you use one,” Yvie smiled.
“Not that that will happen,” Linden added, catching Arthur’s uncomfortable expression.
“Of course,” Yvie concurred, “This is just in case.”
“Just in case,” Arthur agreed.
“Just in case,” Johanna echoed.
Chapter 49: First date
Chapter Text
Johanna woke with the sun, fuelled by an overwhelming excitement for her first date. As quietly as she could, she padded downstairs and set about lighting the oven. While the first split logs caught, Johanna used the immature flames to heat up a couple of pots of water, to use in her bath later, and snacked on some leftovers for breakfast. Then, once the oven was hot enough, Johanna set about baking the flatbreads she had prepared with her father the previous night.
“Warm bread for breakfast!” Arthur smiled lovingly at his daughter as he strode into the kitchen, dressed for work.
“Good morning, Dad,” Johanna smiled back, still concentrating on cooking, but leaning into the kiss her father planted on her head as she worked.
“How are you doing, kiddo?”
“Excited! And a bit nervous.”
“You don’t need to be nervous!”
Arthur leaned against the sink, ripping off pieces of warm flatbread and dipping them in flavourless capitol oil as he chatted with Johanna. When he had to leave, Johanna hugged him goodbye, and he wished her good luck for her date.
Once the weekend’s bread was all baked, Johanna used the last of the fire to begin roasting nuts; mostly from the shop, but also a few extras she and her brothers had scavenged. It wasn’t long before Juniper appeared in the doorway, wrapped in her usual dressing gown, probably woken by the sound of the front door as Arthur left.
For a short while, Johanna and Juniper worked together and chatted. Then, with a soft smile, Juniper offered, I’ll take over from here, if you want to start getting ready.”
“Thanks,” Johanna returned her mother’s smile.
Johanna carefully picked up the biggest pot of warm water and began to carry it out of the room, leaning down slightly to plant a kiss on her mother’s cheek as they crossed paths. When Johanna came back for the second pot of water, Juniper was preparing a small pot of tea, ready to brew once all the nuts were roasted. The familiar scent of pine hit Johanna, as it so often did on her mother’s day off. Somehow, pine in the kitchen always smelled completely different to how it did outside. Johanna couldn’t explain it. Both scents were pine, of course. And they both smelled like home, in their own ways. But one summoned comforts of the woods, and the other felt like family.
Johanna took a deep breath, and smiled.
“I’ll bring you more hot water if there’s any heat left,” Juniper offered, as Johanna left the kitchen with the pot, already cool enough to carry.
“Thanks, Mom!”
Johanna dragged the old cup through the few inches of warm water that surrounded her in the old tub, and with a familiar slight shiver, poured the water over her head. Even though Linden was used to seeing Johanna covered in sweat and dirt from the woods, Johanna desperately wanted to look her best. She carefully washed every inch of her body and hair, and was delighted when her mother softly called at the door, announcing the arrival of another pot of clean, warm water. Rather than adding the water straight to the tub, Johanna dipped the cup in the pot, and used the clean water to give herself a final rinse, relishing the notion of it making her ‘extra clean’.
When Johanna was finished, Juniper took her turn in the tub, still with her tea in hand, and Johanna went off to get dried and dressed. She chose her nicest pants, and her favourite t-shirt; the black one with a geometric butterfly design that Linden had gifted her last summer, which now fit her perfectly. It wasn’t yet warm enough to venture out in just a t-shirt, so Johanna pulled on her uncle’s old shirt, thinking of her grandmother as the soft material embraced her arms. It was still slightly big on her, but in such a comforting way that it felt like a perfect fit, regardless.
Downstairs, Johanna began to pack up everything she needed for her date; she wrapped up some of the freshly baked bread, filled a small jar with roasted hazelnuts, and added two generous spoonfuls of syrup-sweetened nut butter to another jar. This year, Johanna had only used the syrup she received for new year to sweeten nut butter. It was the longest it had ever lasted, and Justin and Jay were both a little jealous that Johanna still had some of hers left.
Next, Johanna added an old blanket, a full bottle of water, and some knives and forks to her bag. She also packed playing cards, and a whittling knife. Then, finally, she went outside and harvested a small salad of pea shoots from the plants at the side of the garden – with some unexpected help from Jay, who ended up practically eating leaves directly from the plants.
With Jay sat down to an actual breakfast, Johanna settled at the speckled, old mirror to slowly brush out her half-dry hair. When it was all detangled, she began to work on a small braid.
“Do you want a hand?” Juniper offered, descending the stairs with her own hair wrapped in a towel.
“Yes, please,” Johanna accepted, and went on to explain the style she wanted to her mother.
They chatted while Juniper weaved two half braids in Johanna’s hair, and then joined them into a single plait at the back, reaching long past Johanna’s shoulders.
“You look beautiful,” Juniper smiled at Johanna in the mirror, and then softly kissed her head.
Johanna’s stomach suddenly swirled with a fresh wave of nerves, as she replied, “Thanks, Mom.”
“When are you heading out?”
Johanna glanced up at the clock, and with equal parts excitement and fear, answered, “Now, I guess.”
“You’ll have a lovely time,” Juniper assured her daughter, clearly sensing her nerves.
“I hope so!”
Johanna collected her bag, and laced on her shoes.
“See you later, Jay!”
“Bye!”
“Have fun, Jo,” Juniper leaned in and hugged her daughter tight.
“Thanks, Mom. Bye!”
Every inch of Johanna’s body felt like it was fizzing as she stepped out of her house, on the way to her first date.
As she walked to Linden’s house, Johanna rehearsed over and over in her mind how she would knock on the door, ask for Linden if her uncles answered, and what she would say to her friend – her girlfriend, maybe, if that’s what this meant now. How many dates did people go on before becoming girlfriends or boyfriends? And was it different for them, having been friends first? Having already kissed?
She didn’t get a chance to knock, though; Linden opened the door before Johanna even reached the gate, and hurried towards Johanna with a broad smile.
“Hi!”
Linden’s greeting was so simple and familiar, it helped to put Johanna at ease – even despite the hint of nervousness in Linden’s expression.
“Hi!” Johanna returned Linden’s smile and greeting.
“Enjoy your day, kids!” Harry waved from the door, grinning at least as wide as the girls.
“Thanks, Harry,” Johanna waved back.
“So, where are you taking me on our first date?” Linden asked, as they began to walk.
“It’s a surprise!” Johanna reminded her, for at least the fifth time.
All nerves faded away as the girls walked. They gradually fell back into their usual chat and banter as they made their way past the end of Johanna’s grandmother’s street, towards the Northern woods.
“It’s nice here,” Linden said, a little shyly, as she followed Johanna along a narrow path.
“It’s even nicer where we’re going,” Johanna replied, grinning.
The girls mostly walked single file, uphill, with Johanna taking the lead.
“Are we there yet?” Linden asked after a few minutes, teasing a little, and also panting slightly from the fast, uphill climb.
“It’s not far, now,” Johanna promised.
“And you’re sure we’re not lost?” Linden’s teasing increased.
In the forest where they had spent their summer placement, it would certainly be possible to get lost. Perhaps around some of the villages, too, where people lived within walking distance of large, working forests. There were certainly stories of people who had got lost after venturing out of villages and remote working stations, disappearing into the forests never to be seen again. There were many more stories of people who had been caught trying to escape, and had endured various punishments as a result.
However, venturing far into those forests was risky. There were the usual risks, of course, like exposure, infection, and dehydration. But also, without loud logging noises, or peacekeepers’ guns guarding camps, bears and big cats could be deadly. Peacekeepers could be deadly, if they caught someone trying to run. There were also rumours of traps and trackers, which peacekeepers could use to hunt down anyone attempting to live wild.
In Weston, though, no one needed to worry about bears or traps. The relatively small patches and strips of woodland that remained accessible to the people weren’t a danger. They were all within the fences that kept dangerous animals at bay, and were too small to get lost in for more than a few minutes. The northern woods, for example, were long, but narrow. If Johanna and Linden truly did feel lost at any point, they would only have to walk for a few minutes in another direction to get back to the edge of town, with its capitol-installed signs telling them where to go.
“I’m sure,” Johanna laughed.
The girls continued walking upwards, and then walked down the other side of the hill, until they reached a clearing around a rocky stream.
“Justin and I ran around these woods a lot the summer before High School,” Johanna explained, as she and Linden took in the sights and sounds of the sun-soaked water, grass and trees.
“It’s really nice,” Linden continued looking around, as Johanna began to take the old blanket from her bag.
The girls arranged the blanket in the sun, and then sat down on it together.
“Happy first date, Mason,” Linden said, softly chuckling at the end of the sentence.
“Happy first date,” Johanna joined in the gentle laughter.
The sun lent red streaks to Linden’s hair, and made her eyes sparkle. Johanna had never seen a more beautiful smile in her life, and she was taken by a sudden desire to kiss the lips that formed it. She leaned forward, and gently touched her lips to Linden’s.
The morning passed too quickly, whittling a stick into the shape of an axe together, paddling in the stream, and kissing in the sun. Linden decided she wanted to wear the axe on a pendant, which made Johanna’s insides feel like they were melting. The rough little figurine wasn’t safe to be worn yet, though. Johanna promised to sand it smooth at home, so that Linden would be able to wear it without risking splinters in the perfect, soft skin of her chest.
The girls spent every last moment they could on their picnic date, relishing the time together, and had to hurry back to make it home in time.
“So, uh,” Linden began hesitantly, a couple of streets away from home. She took a breath, then quickly finished the question, “Are we girlfriends now?”
Johanna’s heart almost skipped with joy.
“Yeah – if you want to be?”
Linden grabbed Johanna’s hand and turned her around, into a kiss.
“I do,” she smiled, before kissing her again.
A few seconds later, the girls reluctantly pulled themselves apart – except for their clasped hands – and ran the rest of the way to Linden’s street.
“I had a really really nice time,” said Linden, clearly disappointed that the date was over.
“Me, too,” Johanna smiled back.
“Thanks for asking me out.”
“Thanks for saying yes,” Johanna replied.
She rose up onto her toes and leaned in for another kiss, which still wasn’t losing its novelty or excitement.
“I don’t want this to end!” Linden lamented.
“I know! Me neither!”
“Maybe we could do it again some time?”
“I’d like that, girlfriend,” Johanna’s heart flipped again.
“Then it’s a date, girlfriend,” Linden’s smile set a fresh fire in Johanna, and they leaned in for a long, final kiss.
As sad as they were to say goodbye, the kiss still excited Johanna.
“I really have to go,” Linden said, looking over her shoulder at the twitching living room curtain at her uncles’ house.
“Me, too,” Johanna knew she’d have to run all the way home, but it was worth it.
The girls stole another quick kiss, then finally dragged themselves apart and headed home.
As Johanna ran through the familiar streets, her mind and body filled with more thoughts and feelings than she could name, she couldn’t imagine trying to do homework this evening. Luckily, the moment she walked into her house, Juniper descended on her with what felt like a million questions. Johanna happily answered them, enjoying the chance to relive one of the best days of her life. She even showed Juniper the tiny whittled axe, and Juniper offered to help Johanna finish it off. Eventually, however, Johanna reluctantly admitted she needed to get some work done, and headed up to her room to make a start on her essay.
She was still only making notes when there was a knock at the front door. Jay’s singsong voice filled the house, announcing he would get it. Johanna half-tuned out the sound of her brother’s speeding footsteps, and the familiar clunk of the door opening as she returned her attention to her books.
“Is your mom home, Jay?”
The first word alone was enough to make Johanna freeze, all her senses sharpening. Instinctively, she immediately knew three things.
1. the voice was Linden’s
2. she had an urgent message
3. something was very, very wrong.
Chapter 50: The accident
Chapter Text
Juniper must have heard the urgency in Linden’s voice, too. There was no other explanation for how she managed to reach the front door at the same time as Johanna.
Without waiting to be asked why she was there, Linden launched into an explanation for why she was standing in the Masons’ doorway, directing her words directly to Juniper.
“There’s been an accident at the paper mill, in Mr. Mason’s section.”
An identical expression of dread filled Juniper, Jay and Johanna’s faces, and Linden’s bravery wavered.
“Is Arthur…” Juniper couldn’t bring herself to finish the question.
“I don’t know,” Linden’s serious voice grew tighter with more worry, “I’m sorry. All I know is something fell, and Vera sent someone to fetch Harry. So, she must really need help.”
Weston’s longtime healer, Vera, had taken an instant disliking to Harry. In her eyes, he was a competitor, poised to poach her customers the moment he had moved to Weston, regardless of how respectful he tried to be of her business. The Masons had all understood the implication of Vera requesting his help, even without Linden’s explanation.
It had to be a big accident.
A tense pause followed, silent aside from the distant sound of coughing from down the street.
Juniper took a breath, steeling herself, and turned to her children. “Okay,” she began, with an attempt at a reassuring smile. “We don’t need to worry. You both know how big the paper mill is, and how many people work there.”
Johanna and Jay nodded their tentative agreement, unsure how to react to their mother’s unusual behaviour. Juniper continued, over another distant cough.
“If your Dad was in trouble, someone would have been sent for us, just like they were sent for Vera, and for Harry. So, If Linden has reached us before anyone else, then I’m sure he’s fine.”
Juniper’s children both eyed their mother with suspicion. Her words made sense, but her artificially calm tone made it seem like she didn’t believe herself.
Next, Juniper turned to Linden, who was nervously lingering at the doorstep.
“Thank you, Linden, for thinking of us,” she added, with another attempt at a calm smile. “Here’s what we-”
“June!”
A call from outside interrupted Juniper.
Johanna watched the hope and calmness drain from her mother’s eyes. With bare feet on the stone path outside, Juniper hurried towards the sound of her name, now replaced by a rasping cough. Anxiously, Johanna and Jay followed their mother.
A woman was running towards the house, grey-streaked curls stuck to her sweaty forehead, her chest heaving with the effort of filling mill-stiffened lungs. She had clearly run here, from the mill.
And there was only one reason she would have done that.
“No!”
Johanna’s understanding of the situation came not from the approaching stranger, but from her mother’s wail. A numbness quickly washed into her, accompanied only by the thought, ‘this is the moment I learn Dad died.’
Faintly, through her overwhelming sense of impending grief, Johanna managed to register Linden’s hand on her shoulder, then Jay’s hand grabbing hers, and then the next strained words from the woman who had called out to her mother.
“He’s hurt, June,” the words rushed out between painful gasps for breath, “You should come.”
“My Dad’s hurt?” Jay’s youthful ignorance had prevented him from jumping to the same conclusions as his mother and sister. However, he instinctively understood he would get the most information by demanding answers from a near-stranger, rather than his family, who were both reeling at whatever they’d gleaned from the arrival of his mother’s colleague.
“Don’t worry, kid,” she answered, still talking quickly between gasps for breath, “The healers - are helping.”
“So he’s not…” Juniper couldn’t bring herself to ask the full question.
“Trapped leg,” her colleague heaved out a brief explanation, “he asked… for you.”
Relief and determination visibly flooded back into Juniper. She quickly wiped each eye, once, and then turned to address her children.
“Okay, kids,” she began, resuming control, “Here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m going to the mill, like your dad asked. Jay, you’re going to get your bedroom ready for Granny. But first, can you fetch Justin for me, please?”
“Okay!” Jay called out, already running inside.
“Justin is going to fetch Granny for us. And Johanna, you’re going finish making dinner, and keep an eye on Jay.”
“But-” Johanna began to protest, but her mother knew exactly what she was going to say, and cut her off in an instant.
“No. You are not coming with me. They won’t be allowing children anywhere near the mill. And there’s no point you waiting around outside, giving me another thing to worry about.”
The sternness in Juniper’s voice was unusual. It drew a quick, if reluctant, nod of agreement from Johanna.
“Can you fetch some water for Chloe, please, while I get my shoes on?” Juniper asked her daughter.
“Okay,” Johanna agreed, and disappeared into the house.
“Thanks, kid,” Chloe wheezed.
“Can I do anything to help?” Linden asked, almost pleading to be given something constructive to do.
Juniper thought for a moment, as she began to pull on her socks, “Well, if you don’t mind, perhaps you could go with Justin to fetch Granny?”
“Of course,” Linden eagerly agreed.
It took all of Johanna’s willpower not to call out, ‘Don’t both leave me!’, as she overheard the conversation between her mother and her girlfriend.
She knew it wouldn’t help, though. So, with gritted teeth, she shuffled past her mother, and passed a cup of water to Chloe, who was still struggling to breathe.
“Thanks,” Chloe said again, before gulping down nearly half the cup.
Suddenly, Justin was running down the stairs, calling out, “Dad had an accident?”
“There’s been an accident at the mill, and your Dad has hurt his leg,” Juniper summarised, calmly, as she tied the laces of her tattered boot. “I’m going to him, so I need you all to take care of each other until we’re back.”
“Can I-”
“None of you are coming with me,” Juniper reiterated, knowing exactly what her son was going to ask. “They won’t let you in, anyway. What I want you to do, Justin, is go with Linden to fetch Granny. Tell her she might have to stay here tonight, and help her with her bag. Okay?”
“Okay,” Justin agreed, already reaching for his shoes.
And so, it was all decided.
Chloe offered to stay, and Johanna felt an unfair revulsion at the idea. She seemed like a nice enough person – she had clearly come as fast as she could to bring the bad news, and she had offered to help. But Johanna couldn’t bear the thought of spending the worst hours of her life with someone she barely knew. Thankfully, her mother kindly declined the offer, explaining that the family wanted to be alone. So, after a final offer to help if they needed anything, Chloe handed her empty cup back to Johanna, and slowly walked away, still coughing.
Linden hugged Johanna goodbye and mumbled assurances to her, before setting off towards Granny’s house with Justin. Half way to the end of the street, the pair of them broke into a jog, probably in an attempt to work out some of their anxious energy. Johanna wished she and Justin could have traded places, but she knew better than to challenge her mother at the moment. So, she just watched until they disappeared.
Then finally, with a tight hug and a promise she would be back as soon as she could, Juniper hoisted her small bag onto her shoulder, and jogged off in the direction of the paper mill.
For a few unbearably still moments, Johanna simply stood in the hallway, letting her mind spin. She hadn’t had chance to get over the ecstasy of her first date, before she had been plunged into the terror of potentially losing her father. She desperately hoped her father’s injuries were minor – that everyone’s were, really. But deep down, she doubted it. Johanna found herself analysing every detail of the last few minutes of her life. When Chloe had soothed Jay, she hadn’t said Arthur was fine – she had just said healers were helping. That could mean a whole load of different things. Maybe he actually would be fine, as soon as his leg was freed. Maybe he had broken his leg, and would need a few weeks off work to recover. Or maybe the healers were helping to manage his pain while he died from his injuries.
There was no way to know.
Silent tears of frustration and worry tracked down Johanna’s face.
Eventually, the thought of Jay feeling similarly was what made Johanna pull herself together. She dried her face, quickly covered up the half-prepared dinner, and headed upstairs to check on her little brother.
She needn’t have worried; a couple of minutes in to tidying up his bedroom ready for Granny to stay, Jay had rediscovered a toy he’d forgotten all about. Weaving a dramatic story about the dented wooden figurine, making all his own sound effects, he certainly didn’t look like a child who was worrying about his father.
Figuring dinner could wait (she didn’t have much appetite now), Johanna decided to help her brother for a while.
“Come on, Jay – you can play with this once we’ve got the room ready for Granny,” Johanna reasoned.
The task turned out to be a welcome distraction for them both. Jay had a lot to tell Johanna about his rediscovered ‘favourite’ toy, and she was happy to listen as they tidied, cleaned, and made the bed up with clean sheets.
Justin returned with Granny and two large bags – one of which mostly contained food that Granny insisted would have gone to waste if she hadn’t brought it. Granny took over making dinner, and the children finished readying the bedrooms. Only Jay seemed to have any appetite, but wasting food wasn’t an option in Weston. Gradually, between Granny’s attempts to convince them everything would be fine, all three children dutifully cleared their plates.
Granny brewed a pot of sweet pine tea after dinner, which managed to soothe all three children a little. After their tea, the eldest two spent a little more time on their homework, with Justin bringing his book into Johanna’s room and working on the floor for comfort. Meanwhile, Jay helped Granny pack lunches for school and tidy up, before beating her at cards twice in a row. When Justin’s homework was finished, he and Johanna packed their bags for school, and then returned downstairs. They played a round of cards with Jay and Granny, but their hearts weren’t in it. Justin didn’t even manage to break a smile when he won.
When Granny told Jay it was his bedtime, his anxiety finally escalated to the same level as his siblings’.
“But Dad isn’t home yet,” Jay countered, with a wobble in his voice.
“I know, sweetie, but he won’t want you staying up late,” Granny tried to reason.
“I can’t go to bed until I know Dad is okay!” Jay began to cry, setting Justin off, too.
“None of that nonsense,” Granny insisted, handing Jay a handkerchief to wipe away his tears. “Of course your father is okay. He and your poor mother have enough to worry about without their children refusing to go to bed.”
Jay regarded granny through his tears, mulling over her words.
“Do you want to help your dad?” Granny asked.
“Mhm,” Jay sniffled.
“Then the best thing you can do is to take responsibility for yourself. Your brother and sister know it – that’s why they’ve been finishing their homework all evening.”
She looked to the older children for backup, and they both did their best to agree.
“So, now you need to be responsible for yourself, too. That means getting ready for bed, like normal, and getting yourself a good night’s sleep.”
After a few more moments of sniffling, Jay reluctantly agreed. He hugged his siblings goodnight, and led Granny upstairs.
With Granny and Jay out of earshot, Justin turned to Johanna, full of worry.
“Why aren’t they back yet?” his voice squeaked with worry.
“I don’t know,” Johanna answered him truthfully, tears welling in her eyes again.
“Why do you think they aren’t back?” Justin amended his question.
Johanna thought for a moment, considering various possibilities, then said, “I guess dad is still stuck. Or the healers are busy working on him.”
Justin nodded, trying his best to trust his sister. After thinking for a while, he spoke up again.
“Maybe it’s a good thing Mom hasn’t come home. Means he… uh… he still needs her.”
Justin had always been very perceptive for his age. With relief, Johanna realised he was right. If Arthur had died, then Juniper would have come home to bring the news to her children, and comfort them. Or, if Arthur was so badly hurt he might die by morning, then the children would have been sent for, to say their goodbyes.
So, for now, at least, Johanna and Justin could probably rule out those two awful scenarios.
“Good point,” Johanna agreed with her brother, “I guess he’s gonna be okay – for a while, at least. We don’t need to worry.”
Neither of them said it, but they both knew the same held true for the other end of the spectrum. If Arthur’s injuries were minor, then surely he would be home by now?
“I guess Granny’s right, then,” Justin added, still clearly trying to convince himself, “The best thing we can do is take responsibility for ourselves.”
“And each other,” Johanna agreed.
After a short pause to consider their conclusion, Johanna held out her arms, and her little brother – as tall as her, now – fell into them.
The evening passed too slowly. And Johanna hated every second of not knowing her father’s condition.
While Granny and Jay were upstairs, a neighbour came by to check if the family needed anything. Johanna politely declined, and asked for any updates on the accident. The neighbour didn’t know any more than Johanna, though.
When Granny returned downstairs, she made everyone another sweet pine tea, and began to question Johanna about her date. For a minute or so, Johanna enjoyed the distraction. Then, she was hit by the painful realisation that she hadn’t yet been able to tell her father about her date. Her answers to her grandmother’s questions grew half-hearted after that.
Another neighbour brought a stew, and even less information about the accident.
Granny, Justin and Johanna played cards again. Just as Johanna was building up the courage to say she couldn’t take another soulless round, a third neighbour knocked on the door.
This time, they had news of the accident.
Johanna and Justin were immediately sent away by Granny, not permitted to hear any of the unfiltered details. But, by silent agreement, both siblings pressed their ears to the living room door, and listened in.
They heard their neighbour explain how one of the rusty old hooks on a master roll of paper – a roll almost double Johanna’s height – had crumbled while carrying the roll across the mill. The freed side of the heavy roll had swung down into Arthur’s section. The impact of the 50-tonne cylinder had killed four people almost instantly. It had also destroyed part of the wooden walkway on its journey, sending another few workers falling to the ground. The survivors cleared out of the roll’s path as fast as possible, taking the injured with them. The roll only took seconds to swing back, though, leaving more destruction in its wake. Realising they wouldn’t make it down the stairs in time, some people had chosen to jump. They had all been injured by the long fall. Others had fallen as the beams beneath them had collapsed, including an unfortunate few who had landed on spikes of shattered wood.
Justin gripped Johanna’s hand, and she offered a reassuring squeeze in return.
The accident was unprecedented. Generally, paper mill work was pretty safe – aside from what the dust and chemicals did to peoples’ lungs, at least. There were a handful of tales of deadly accidents, which may or may not have been true; a woman whose long hair had got stuck in a fast spinning roll; a man pushed into the rollers during a fight; an apprentice who had fallen into pulp vat. But compared to the dangers of forest work, with falling trees, chainsaws, chippers, bears…
Johanna understood what she was hearing, of course. But, at the same time, she couldn’t quite comprehend it. Multiple deaths and injuries at the paper mill just didn’t make sense.
With two hits to the bridge and more than a dozen casualties, the accident still wasn’t over. The momentum of the roll’s return swing caused it to free itself from the remaining hook, sending it crashing to the factory floor.
From there, it had begun to roll.
It was heading towards the base of ‘the tower’, the largest multi-level structure in the factory. Around a hundred and twenty people would have been working in it, and there was no time for them all to evacuate via the single staircase. If the roll had taken out the ground-level support beams, the collapse would have been catastrophic.
So, workers on the ground had rushed in front of the gigantic roll of paper, attempting to stop it before it reached the tower. Their quick thinking and brave actions had stopped the roll in its tracks, saving the tower and every single person in it. However, of the first six people to reach the roll, two had been crushed to death, and the other four had significant crushing injuries.
Arthur was one of the four.
Johanna and Justin turned to each other, sharing expressions of worry. Significant crushing injury. Both their minds raced, trying to work out what it might mean for their father.
“You can tell those kids their father is a hero,” the neighbour told Granny, sniffling.
“Thank you. I will. And may I ask about your children? Are they okay?”
“Yeah, they’re both safe. Louis was in the tower. He’s shaken up, but fine. Mattie jumped off the walkway before the second hit, and her shoulder is in a bad way. The healers have bigger jobs at the moment, though, so she’s just strapped up and waiting her turn.”
Mattie was hurt, too?
A few months after Jay had been born, there was one afternoon a week when all of Johanna’s parents’ and grandparents’ work schedules had overlapped. A teenager from down the street had stepped in to look after the Mason children. At the time, it had felt like they had spent hours playing in the garden, sun-dried grass spiking into their palms as Mathilde had patiently taught them how to cartwheel perfectly.
With a bad shoulder injury, would she ever be able to teach the same to her own children?
While Granny and the neighbour exchanged sympathetic goodbyes, Johanna and Justin silently slipped back to the sofa, to pretend they hadn’t been listening. When she returned, Granny’s retelling of the accident was true, but much less detailed than what they had learned from eavesdropping. Granny’s version also had a strong focus on how their father had saved the lives of over a hundred people.
“You should be proud of him,” Granny concluded, one arm around each of them.
Johanna supposed she was proud of him. It was undeniably an incredibly brave thing to do. The roll may not have stopped, if he hadn’t intervened. It could have killed and hurt a hundred more people.
But on top of her pride, Johanna was angry. Why had he jumped in so fast? Maybe if he had waited a few more seconds, until there were more people to work alongside him, then he wouldn’t have been hurt. What if his injuries were bad? What if they killed him? His bravery may have saved a hundred people, but what if the consequences of it destroy their family? And why hadn’t he thought of that before jumping in front of a 50-tonne roll of paper?
It was all Johanna could think about, all evening and all night. By the morning, following a fitful night of half-sleep, Johanna felt nothing but resentment for her father’s bravery.
Chapter 51: After the accident
Chapter Text
In most ways, it was easy to pretend everything was normal. Johanna and her brothers woke up, ate breakfast, and went to school. They came home, and did their homework and chores, without complaint. Just like Granny had instructed, they were taking responsibility for themselves. It was the best way they could help their father. Each evening, over a pot of sweet pine tea, Granny was full of praise for how helpful and mature they were all being.
They didn’t talk about all the empty desks at school, of classmates attending funerals.
All apprentices affected by the accident were given the choice to move away from the paper mill. Johanna opted to continue working in the drying rooms. Partly, she chose to stay because she was making friends. But mostly, she didn’t want a late stage switch to jeopardise her chances of a summer forest placement again.
Only one apprentice accepted the offer to switch. He had lost his brother in the accident, and then his mother to her injuries. He couldn’t face walking into the mill, and no one could blame him.
While Johanna managed to keep up with all her responsibilities, her anxiety and anger about her father’s accident was affecting her sleep, leaving her more tired and apathetic each day. Linden was tired, too; not through worry, but through spending every morning and evening answering the door to visitors, deliveries, and general well-wishers, as well as having more to do around the house with Harry working non-stop.
So, it was by mutual agreement that the girls decided to postpone their second date.
Between taking on extra shifts to make up for the shortfall the family was about to face, and visiting Arthur when she could, Juniper only came home in short bursts. She would whizz in, looking more gaunt and pale than the last time, squeeze in a few minutes of parenting, and then rush out again. Every time, she insisted her children couldn’t visit their father yet. ‘He’s sharing the room with another patient, so they’re only allowed one visitor.’ ‘You can’t this evening, he’s having another operation.’ ‘You can come with me next time.’
With insufficient information from her mother, Johanna began pestering Linden for updates. Linden, however, insisted she wasn’t allowed anywhere near the patients that were still filling up her uncles’ house.
More than a week had passed when, in the early hours of another sleepless night, Johanna realised: she didn’t need her mother’s permission to visit her father. It was ridiculously simple, really. All she had to do was go to Linden’s house when her mother was at work. And these days, Juniper was at work a lot.
So, the next morning, with Juniper having already started on the early shift, Johanna got up early, left a note for her grandmother explaining she had gone to study group, and walked to Linden’s house.
As Johanna walked, she played out the meeting with her father in her mind. She wanted to confront him; to hold him accountable for the pain and suffering his reckless actions were causing the family. Part of her, though, also just wanted him to hold her again. She had never gone so long without him before, and it was unexpectedly hard. In the end, she concluded that she would just have to make her mind up in the moment.
“Johanna!” Marcus answered the door, speaking softly and looking exhausted, but mustering a smile for her nonetheless.
“Please can I see my dad?” Johanna asked.
With surprise, she discovered that the tears springing to her eyes weren’t from rage.
“Oh, sweetie, come here,” Marcus wrapped her in a hug, which made her tears begin to fall. “You must miss him a lot, eh?”
Johanna nodded into Marcus’s chest, while he soothed her for a few moments. Once she was ready to pull away, Marcus pointed towards the kitchen, and told her, “You hold tight in there, and I’ll go check if you can see him.”
The kitchen was barely recognisable. It had been converted into a sort of waiting area. Probably every mug and cup in the house was drying next to the sink. The countertop was adorned with snacks and messages of support. The living room sofa had been brought in, and was pushed up against some of the cupboards. Two bedraggled people were dosing on it, one on either end, each with their own blanket. Had Juniper slept there, on the nights she hadn’t come home? Johanna took a seat on a dining chair, drying her eyes again and taking in all the changes.
After an agonising few minutes, Marcus reappeared, beckoning Johanna towards him. Johanna instantly jumped to her feet, and followed him into the hallway. He spoke in hushed tones, so as not to disturb the patients and visitors.
“I spoke to the night duty apprentice. She said to tell you your dad’s still taking a lot of medicine, and it makes the patients sleepy and confused. So, if you’re going to see him, you have to be prepared for that, okay?”
Johanna nodded, solemnly, as she took in Marcus’ words. If her dad was feeling drowsy or confused, it wouldn’t be the right time to challenge him on his reckless decision.
“He might sleep the whole time. Or, it might seem like he’s awake, but his brain could be sort of dreaming. So, he might say some weird things. He may even not recognise you. Some people find it very scary to see their loved ones behaving so unusually, so have a proper think about whether you want to see him today, or if you would prefer to wait a little while, until he doesn’t need this medicine any more.”
“I want to see him,” Johanna insisted. She probably wouldn’t get to vent her frustrations, but now that she was so close, she was desperate to see her father again.
“Okay, sweetie,” Marcus nodded. “But can I come with you, to make sure you’re both doing okay?”
After Marcus’s warnings, Johanna found herself to be relieved at the prospect of having company. If her dad didn’t recognise her, she would need a hand to hold.
“Okay,” she agreed.
“And obviously we have to be quiet, so we don’t disturb the other patients,” Marcus explained, leading the way, “And we can only spend a couple of minutes with him.”
“Okay,” Johanna nodded again, eager to get on with it.
Gently, Marcus led the way. Johanna followed, with anxiety swirling in her stomach.
It took Johanna a moment to recognise the pale, sweaty, bearded man in the makeshift hospital bed as her father. It was disorientating; not so much his unusual appearance, but the fact that there had been a moment where she hadn’t been able to recognise the man she had loved her whole life.
An unfamiliar, distant smile filled Arthur’s face. His gaze didn’t seem to actually focus anywhere. Marcus’ hand on Johanna’s shoulder gave her the strength to continue moving closer. ‘It might seem like he’s awake, but his brain could be sort of dreaming,’ Johanna remembered. It could explain her father’s odd appearance.
When Johanna couldn’t stand looking at the unfamiliar expression any more, she cast her eyes along the blanketed body of her father. On the furthest side of the bed, partially obscured by Arthur’s lower body, Johanna could see the top of an intricate mess of wooden slats. It had been haphazardly screwed together, at strange angles. Was her dad working on some kind of craft project? Why had the apprentices let him keep it on the bed while he slept? She hoped he wasn’t using any dangerous tools while he seemed unable to focus.
Curiosity compelled her to keep looking at the structure, perhaps hoping to make sense of her father’s mental state. Within the network of wood, metal rods disappeared into a collage of dark purple, blue and red, shiny and ready to burst, wrapped in a thick bandage at the end-
Bile burned the back of Johanna’s throat as she realised the swollen, discoloured object pinned inside the cage, was her father’s leg.
She might have recognised it sooner, if there had still been a foot attached to the end of it.
The first coherent thought she managed to form was, ‘Why didn’t mom tell us?’
In an instant, all the rage Johanna had brewed for her father’s recklessness was transferred to her mother. All the vague updates about dad needing a lot of rest, about Harry being hopeful for a full recovery, about them being able to visit soon… none of them had included a single mention of Arthur’s foot being amputated.
Johanna was old enough and smart enough to understand this would change everything. Arthur wouldn’t be able to walk – at least not for a long time, and even then, only with expensive medical help. With only one foot, he would never be able to return to his job. He wouldn’t be able to work at all while he healed. And that’s assuming he even managed to heal. He would be at risk of infection for weeks – and, judging by the sheen of sweat on his forehead, he was probably already battling one. Would he even survive this?
With an even worse sinking feeling in her anxious stomach, Johanna had a sombre realisation: this might be the last time she ever spoke to her father.
As angry as she was, she couldn’t let him know it – not if she might never get the chance to make it up to him.
With all her bravery, Johanna mustered up a quiet, confident-sounding, “Hi, Dad!”
Slowly, wavering as he turned his head, Arthur responded to his daughter’s words. It seemed to take him a while to focus, or to realise what was happening – maybe both. Then, pure delight washed over his face.
“Squirrel!”
He reached out to Johanna, wincing a little at the minor movement in his leg. Johanna hurried forward to take his hand, not wanting him to hurt himself any more.
“How are you doing?”
“I’ll be okay.”
Despite the slight slur in his words, and the semi-vacant look in his eyes, Arthur’s attempt to wave off Johanna’s concern as if he had only suffered a paper cut sounded like his usual self. Tears of relief sprang into Johanna’s eyes.
“How are you?” Arthur followed up, growing more lucid.
“Worried about you,” Johanna replied, honestly.
“Ah, don’t worry about me! I’ll be fine! Are you doing your homework?”
“Of course.”
“Are your brothers behaving?”
“Yeah.”
“And how about Linden? Oh! How was your big date? My little girl, on her first date…” he almost spoke over himself as his thoughts flowed freely through his mouth, reminding Johanna of Jay whenever he was excited.
“It was good, dad, but I came to see you, to talk about you!”
“That’s all I do these days. I want to hear something else for a change! Tell me some good news!”
“Okay.”
Johanna sniffled away her half-formed tears, and then began to fulfil her dad’s wish. She told him about sweet tea, and baking with Jay and, finally, about her first date.
With effort, Arthur listened to every word. Though his teeth were gritted in pain, he was smiling, too.
“When’s your next date?” Arthur beamed.
“We haven’t set a date yet. We’ve both been a bit… busy and…” Johanna trailed off with a shrug, not wanting to accidentally put any blame on her father.
“Jo,” Arthur said, his voice serious, and his eyes fully clear for the first time. “You have to promise me, you’ll keep on living your life. No matter what happens.”
“Dad-”
“I’m serious, Squirrel. Your mom and I only ever want the best for you – for all of you. You and your brothers are NOT to put everything on pause, just because I’ve got a bad leg. I know it’s hard to imagine having fun right now. But you’re only young once, and you have to make the most of it, okay? However long I’m here, or whatever happens, promise me you’ll also take time to live your life.”
The desperation Arthur spoke with pulled at Johanna’s heart. She couldn’t imagine managing to have fun, while knowing her father was suffering. But she couldn’t exactly argue with him in his current state, either.
“I promise,” Johanna agreed, wiping away another tear.
At that, Arthur relaxed. Johanna realised how much effort it had taken him to give his little speech as she watched the energy leave his body.
“And tell your brothers, too,” Arthur added, his eyes growing soft.
“I will.”
“You’re a good kid,” he mumbled almost to himself.
“And you’re a good dad – the best!”
“That’s nice, squirrel,” he slurred, his eyes growing heavy.
“He needs his rest, Jo,” Marcus said, softly. “Time to say bye.”
“I love you, dad,” Johanna whispered into his ear, before kissing his clammy forehead.
His mumbled reply didn’t sound like words, but it matched the cadence of, ‘I love you, too’. Johanna decided to believe he’d said it.
Arthur drifted into sleep, and after a final squeeze of his hand, Johanna let Marcus lead her out of the room.
When the door closed behind them, it seemed to sever whatever thread of strength had been keeping Johanna together. Just as Marcus quietly told Johanna, “You did great!”, she burst into tears again.
Chapter 52: Steam
Chapter Text
Johanna cried into Marcus’ jumper, allowing him to comfort her until Linden came downstairs and took over. With Linden holding her tight and stroking her hair, Johanna wasn’t sure how much time passed. When she had finally calmed down enough, Johanna told Linden the whole story; how she had come alone against her mother’s wishes to visit her father, how it had been a complete shock to learn about his foot, and how worried she was for her family’s future.
As she spoke, new worries occurred to her, flooding from her mouth as they formed. Arthur would have to sleep downstairs, now – changing the whole layout of the house. With less income for an unknown amount of time, Jay would almost certainly need to take tesserae as soon as possible. Johanna would have more responsibilities, such as cooking and caring for her father. Or, maybe Granny would move in to help out, which would bring various positives and negatives, too.
Fresh tears began to flow, and Linden held Johanna tight again, unsure what else she could do to provide comfort.
“Breakfast is ready!” Marcus whisper-called to the girls, beckoning them into the kitchen.
So deep in her emotions, the announcement took Johanna by surprise. She hadn’t noticed any of the sounds or smells of Marcus making pancakes in the kitchen. Now, though, the smell had hit her. And as tired and upset as she was, she was also ravenous.
“Come on,” Linden said, grabbing Johanna’s hand and pulling her along.
In the kitchen, the people who had been dozing on the sofa earlier were now sitting upright on it, and each eating a warm pancake. In the crowded room, Johanna and Linden chose to stand together near the back door, their plates on the counter top. With three pans on the go, Marcus had a near-continuous flow of breakfast for everyone in the kitchen. At the same time, he was also creating the tallest stack Johanna had ever seen, ready for Harry, the apprentices, and the patients who were able to eat.
The warm food and kind company helped Johanna to reset. With some kind, wise words from one of the sleeping people, Johanna started to believe there was no point worrying about the hundreds of possible outcomes. Between that, and her promise to her father to live her life regardless of his situation, Johanna resolved to concentrate on taking care of herself and her family, so that they would be best prepared for whatever would happen next.
She even managed to eat her final pancake with a smile.
By the time she arrived home from her apprenticeship placement, Johanna was exhausted. She ate dinner with her grandmother and brothers, helped to clean up, and was getting ready for an early night when she heard her mother come home.
“Mom!” Justin’s voice carried through the house, followed by his footsteps running towards the door.
She hurried to pull her pyjamas on, as the front door thudded shut.
“What’s wrong?”
Johanna’s heart sank at the muffled sound of Justin’s question.
“Your dad is still okay,” Juniper assured him, in a tone that sounded unconvincing even from upstairs, “But I need to talk to you all. Jo? Jay? Mom? Can you come downstairs please?”
Johanna hurried downstairs, where he mother was still putting her shoes away.
“Let’s all go and sit down,” Juniper told everyone, ushering them out of the cramped hallway.
The boys sat either side of their grandmother on the sofa, and Johanna slipped in next to Justin, watching every movement from her mother as she sat across from them in her armchair.
“I have some news about your father,” Juniper began, artificially calmly.
All three children were silent, waiting for her to continue.
“His recovery has been very up-and-down so far,” she explained, “He was healing well at first, but then there was a problem. Harry and Vera treated him…”
‘They amputated his foot,’ Johanna thought to herself, seething quietly. Frustratingly, confronting her exhausted mother in front of her brothers and grandmother wasn’t an option.
“… and he was doing better again for a while. But in the last day and a half, his infection has got worse, and his leg is still very poorly. Vera saw him today, and recommended he should go with Harry and another patient to the hospital in the centre of the district.”
‘Can we afford it?’ Johanna instantly worried. But again, she didn’t speak up in front of her brothers.
“The transport for the other patient was already arranged, so we had to make the decision quickly. Harry sent a messenger to me at work, and I told him to do what’s best for your father. So, they’ll be arriving at the hospital around now.”
A tear escaped Juniper’s eye, and she paused to wipe it away and take a breath.
Just as Johanna was gathering the confidence to let her anger explode, Juniper spoke again.
“I’m so sorry, to all of you, that you weren’t able to see him before he left. But we had to do what’s best for him, which meant he had to leave today. And I promise, I’ll take you to see him as soon as I can.”
“Do you really mean that?”
Johanna was surprised to hear Justin’s angry, upset challenge. Apparently, she wasn’t the only one cross with their mother.
“Of course I do. We’ll travel to the centre, if we have to – if we can. Maybe on Sunday, but it will depend on whether he’s allowed visitors yet.”
“What are they doing to him, at the hospital?” Johanna asked, her voice just as hard as Justin’s.
“They’re treating the infection with better medicine,” Juniper answered.
Johanna knew her mother well enough to know she was holding back. Granny’s narrowed eyes indicated her suspicion, too.
“Anything else?” Johanna pushed.
“They’re also going to fix his leg, as best they can.”
Juniper’s vague answers were frustrating. Johanna couldn’t quite call them lies, but there was certainly a lot of important information missing.
“I think we all need to get some rest,” Granny declared, aiming it more at Juniper than the children. “I know we all have a lot of questions, but they won’t be answered until we get an update from the hospital. So for now, let’s all get an early night.”
As much as Johanna wanted more time with her mother – particularly more time to quiz her about the amputation and whatever other treatment her father was due to have – Juniper’s weary, gaunt expression gave her pause. She couldn’t challenge her now, when she was clearly so exhausted. Plus, Johanna was tired, too, after her extra early start that morning.
“Come on, Squirrel,” Granny called Johanna from the doorway.
After another moment to consider confronting her mother, Johanna gave in to Granny’s request.
“Goodnight, Mom,” Johanna said, standing up from the sofa.
“Goodnight, Jo,” Juniper replied.
The next morning, Johanna arrived downstairs feeling the most rested she had in days. Granny was in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. Johanna began to help, packing up everyone’s lunches. Not long later, Juniper arrived, looking much less withered than she had the night before.
“You’ve got a bit more colour in your cheeks!” Granny greeted her daughter, smiling broadly.
“Thanks, Mom,” Juniper returned a thin smile at the half-compliment, before turning to her daughter and wishing her, “Good morning, Jo. Did you sleep well?”
A fresh wave of anger hit Johanna. It was going to be strange to pretend everything was normal between them, when Johanna knew the huge secret her mother was hiding. But what other option did she have? She couldn’t exactly confront her mother outright first thing in the morning.
“Yeah, you?”
“Best I have in days,” Juniper accepted a cup of bitter pine tea from her mother, and took a sip.
“Can you carry this through and call your brothers for me?” Granny asked Johanna.
“Of course,” Johanna took the pan of porridge from her grandmother, and headed toward the table.
The sound of her mother and grandmother chatting in the kitchen grated against Johanna’s nerves.
Maybe she could confront her already.
Juniper followed not far behind Johanna, carrying bowls and spoons in one arm, and her tea in the other.
This might be the only moment they would have alone together all day.
Maybe she should take the opportunity.
Johanna put the pot down on the breakfast table, and tried to figure out how to broach the subject. The time pressure wasn’t helping. She needed to say something now. And to do that, she needed to me much more brave and confrontational than she really was.
The last time Johanna had felt like this was when she had stumbled upon Cal and Olivia behind the bus. To find the courage to confront the situation then, she had drawn inspiration from Willow.
She needed to do the same now.
What would Willow do?
She would probably just ask outright, sounding casual – innocent, even – in a disconcerting way.
“So when did they cut Dad’s foot off?” Johanna asked, calm and direct.
Juniper’s eyes snapped up, instantly locking with Johanna’s.
The shock and fear in her mother’s eyes pulled on Johanna’s heart, but she managed not to waver.
What would Willow do next?
Johanna raised an eyebrow in a silent challenge, emphasising her question. Juniper, however, was still too surprised to reply.
Drawing further inspiration from Willow, Johanna continued to act as casually as she could. Keeping her tone and movements as normal as possible, Johanna finished off doing the job Granny had asked of her. She walked to the bottom of the stairs, called, “Breakfast!” up to her brothers, and then turned back to her mother.
Juniper was still staring at Johanna in shock, her mouth slightly open but failing to form any words.
“So you won’t even tell us that much?” Johanna prompted. Her anger was spilling into her voice now, despite her efforts to keep it light.
“It was the day after the accident,” Juniper finally answered, quiet and calm.
It was Johanna’s turn to be shocked now.
“Over a week ago!?” she exploded.
“We wanted to wait for the right time to tell you all,” Juniper tried to explain, still keeping her calm as best she could, “And this morning is not the right time. We will not be talking about this now, before your brothers have to leave for school.”
“What’s going on?” Granny asked, looking between Juniper and Johanna with suspicion.
“Oh, we aren’t talking about this now,” Johanna imitated her mother, sounding disappointingly childish.
Juniper sighed out her frustration with Johanna. However, with the sound of footsteps on the stairs, she didn’t have time to add anything else without her sons overhearing.
Granny continued to eye Juniper and Johanna with confusion and suspicion, but she also sensed she needed to drop the subject owing to her approaching grandsons.
“Good morning!” Juniper greeted Jay and Justin.
“Hi, Mom!” Jay replied, paying most of his attention to the breakfast table.
“Good morning, Mom, Granny, Jo,” Justin was much quieter and slower in the morning than his brother. The way he looked between Johanna and his mother suggested he had somehow already sensed there was a problem.
“Can I have syrup on mine, please?” Jay asked, watching Granny spoon porridge into a bowl.
“Do you have any left?” Juniper asked, knowing he had finished his weeks ago.
“Johanna…” Jay turned to his sister with pleading eyes.
“Sorry, Jay,” she shook her head, really not in the mood to be pestered to share her syrup. Another spark of Willow-based inspiration struck her, and before she could second-guess herself, Johanna found herself locking eyes with her mother and adding, “Maybe for a special occasion, but it’s just not the right time this morning.”
Fury filled Juniper’s eyes, and she mouthed, “STOP” across the table at Johanna.
But Johanna was relishing in her newfound power to punish her mother. As the family ate their breakfast, Johanna packed in as many references as she could to waiting, sharing information, and right times. With each reference, Juniper’s stare got harder and harder, until she was wearing an expression Johanna had never seen before.
Still buoyed from her taunting, Johanna felt a strange flash of pride when Juniper asked her into the living room. She was probably in trouble, but in a strange way, she liked it. And really, what power did Juniper have in this moment? If she tried to dish out a punishment, Johanna could simply threaten to tell her brothers about her dad’s foot. Sure, it wouldn’t be a kind or fair thing to do. But it hadn’t been kind or fair of Juniper to lie to her children for over a week, either. She deserved a little taste of her own medicine.
As soon as Juniper closed the door, she turned to look at Johanna, and launched into her speech.
“I have never been so disappointed in any of my children.”
The absolute truth in Juniper’s cool, calm delivery made Johanna feel like she’d been punched in the gut. All the joy and excitement she’d built up over the last few minutes left her body in an instant.
“This spiteful attitude is completely unacceptable, and it doesn’t belong to the daughter I raised,” Juniper continued, her voice still measured, her expression still hard.
No, it didn’t. Johanna had consciously borrowed it from Willow, because she hadn’t known how else to handle the situation. The first bitter wave of regret lapped at the edges of her mind.
“All I’ve heard from Granny this last week is how kind and mature you’ve all been. But then I get home, and you behave like this! Why, Jo?”
The hurt and disappointment in Juniper’s eyes was starting to make Johanna squirm. She didn’t know how to reply to her mother, and she wasn’t about to draw inspiration from Willow again. So, she said nothing.
After a pause, Juniper asked again, softer, “Is there something going on you need to talk about? Because this really isn’t like you.”
The ridiculousness of the question hit Johanna hard, adding a large dose of frustration to the mixture of anger, shame and embarrassment already brewing. This time, after a few seconds, Johanna managed to formulate a response. Tears formed in her eyes as soon as she began to speak.
“Something going on?” she scoffed, through the start of a sob. “You mean aside from Dad being hurt, us not getting to see him for over a week, barely getting to see you at all, oh, and you lying to us about his foot being cut off?”
By the end of the list, her tears were rolling down her cheeks and soaking into the shoulder of her mother’s dressing gown. Johanna wasn’t sure when the hug had started. She wanted not to want it, but some primal part of her wasn’t going to let her reject her mother’s comfort.
“I’m sorry, Jo. I’m so sorry. I know it’s been hard for you. It’s not fair on any of us,” Juniper soothed, stroking Johanna’s hair. “In hindsight, your dad and I know we messed up by not letting you see him, and we’re both really, really sorry.”
Johanna let the apology sit on the surface, neither absorbing it nor brushing it away.
“The thing is,” Juniper continued, “Younger children weren’t allowed in to visit, because everyone in there was so sick. It didn’t seem fair to let you visit but not your brothers, so we decided to keep you all away until you were all allowed in. And your dad wanted to tell you all himself about his foot, so that meant waiting until you could all go in to see him…”
“And now we might never see him again,” Johanna sobbed into her mother’s shoulder.
“Oh, Jo, of course you’ll see him again! He’s going to get better at the hospital-”
“What if he doesn’t?”
“He will!” Juniper insisted, “He just needs a few days of their stronger medicine, and then he’ll come back to Weston and carry on getting better. You don’t need to worry about that, okay?”
“Okay,” Johanna agreed, unconvinced.
“I know we’re all worried about him, and a lot of things might change now, but he will get better,” Juniper insisted again, and Johanna replied with a nod into her mother’s shoulder.
“And in the meantime,” Juniper’s tone shifted a little, “We need to figure out a better way for you to deal with all this, okay?”
Juniper released the tight hug and held Johanna’s shoulders, looking into her eyes.
Johanna nodded again, wiping her eyes and feeling more shame flooding into her cheeks.
“Because I’ve already got enough on my plate right now, without all the shit you gave me this morning.”
“I’m sorry, Mom,” Johanna apologised, still burning with shame.
“I know,” Juniper wrapped Johanna back in the hug, “And I know you haven’t had me or your dad around to talk to, which makes it all so much harder to process. But you can’t go lashing out like that, Jo. It’ll hurt you the most in the long run.”
“Mhm,” Johanna was crying again, mostly through guilt now.
“Have you still been doing your defence training and running in the woods?” Juniper asked, in a tone that suggested she strongly suspected not.
Johanna shook her head, “We’ve both been tired and busy.”
“Jo, you need to have more in your life than school and chores and worrying.”
“I just haven’t really wanted to.”
“I know, love. It can be hard, when you’re busy or tired or sad, to make yourself get up and do something nice. But it’s so, so important that you don’t let it all drop away. Even if Linden can’t go out, you could see some other friends, or go for a run by yourself, or ask Granny to give you an axe-throwing lesson while she’s here!”
They both managed a smile, and Johanna attempted a reassuring nod.
“Granny once told me, if you’re not letting off steam, you might boil over,” Juniper said, wiping a tear track from Johanna’s cheek. “And I think that may have happened here a bit?”
Another wave of guilt and shame crashed into Johanna, and she nodded her shameful agreement.
“It’s an important life skill, Jo. And sometimes a very difficult one. But you need to start practicing it.”
“I’ll see if Linden wants to go to the woods today,” Johanna suggested.
“Good girl,” Juniper gave Johanna another squeeze. “I really am sorry, Jo. I’m sorry we didn’t tell you sooner, and I’m sorry I haven’t been able to be here for you more.”
“I’m sorry, too, Mom,” Johanna replied, hugging back hard.
That evening, Johanna arrived home late, covered in dirt, and smiling ear to ear. Juniper had been right right; she did have to continue having some fun, even if she was still worried about her dad, and missing her mom. It didn’t magically fix everything, but it did make it all a little easier to handle.
Pages Navigation
RuthiesRambles on Chapter 36 Fri 15 Nov 2024 01:13PM UTC
Comment Actions
train_pirate on Chapter 36 Fri 15 Nov 2024 02:12PM UTC
Comment Actions
RuthiesRambles on Chapter 37 Fri 22 Nov 2024 03:12PM UTC
Comment Actions
train_pirate on Chapter 37 Fri 22 Nov 2024 11:29PM UTC
Comment Actions
RuthiesRambles on Chapter 39 Tue 10 Dec 2024 04:50PM UTC
Comment Actions
pain_in_the_axe (train_pirate) on Chapter 39 Tue 10 Dec 2024 08:45PM UTC
Comment Actions
Blurryface_77 (Guest) on Chapter 40 Thu 03 Apr 2025 03:31AM UTC
Comment Actions
train_pirate on Chapter 40 Thu 03 Apr 2025 12:24PM UTC
Comment Actions
RuthiesRambles on Chapter 44 Wed 15 Jan 2025 09:13PM UTC
Comment Actions
pain_in_the_axe (train_pirate) on Chapter 44 Wed 15 Jan 2025 09:23PM UTC
Comment Actions
RuthiesRambles on Chapter 45 Sat 25 Jan 2025 02:16AM UTC
Comment Actions
train_pirate on Chapter 45 Mon 27 Jan 2025 11:30AM UTC
Comment Actions
RuthiesRambles on Chapter 45 Mon 27 Jan 2025 08:58PM UTC
Comment Actions
RuthiesRambles on Chapter 46 Wed 27 Aug 2025 11:38AM UTC
Comment Actions
RuthiesRambles on Chapter 46 Wed 27 Aug 2025 11:38AM UTC
Comment Actions
train_pirate on Chapter 46 Wed 27 Aug 2025 12:15PM UTC
Comment Actions
RuthiesRambles on Chapter 47 Wed 27 Aug 2025 11:42AM UTC
Comment Actions
train_pirate on Chapter 47 Wed 27 Aug 2025 12:19PM UTC
Comment Actions
RuthiesRambles on Chapter 48 Wed 27 Aug 2025 11:47AM UTC
Comment Actions
RuthiesRambles on Chapter 49 Wed 27 Aug 2025 11:52AM UTC
Comment Actions
RuthiesRambles on Chapter 50 Wed 27 Aug 2025 12:00PM UTC
Comment Actions
train_pirate on Chapter 50 Wed 27 Aug 2025 12:27PM UTC
Comment Actions
RuthiesRambles on Chapter 51 Wed 27 Aug 2025 12:05PM UTC
Comment Actions
RuthiesRambles on Chapter 52 Wed 27 Aug 2025 12:11PM UTC
Comment Actions
train_pirate on Chapter 52 Wed 27 Aug 2025 12:28PM UTC
Comment Actions
Pages Navigation