1 - 20 of 24 Bookmarked Items in What is wrong with them!!! (RadioApple Edition)
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KeeKee leaves Lucifer a present, to express affection. This gives him the absolute worst possible idea. Somehow, it works anyway.
Lucifer looks down at his hands, covered in blood, at the heart clutched in them, at the split-open chest gaping like an open maw between his feet, and blinks. “Maybe I should have just asked him to dinner first.”
Written for radioapple week 2024, day 2: enemies / pining
Series
- Part 2 of Radioapple Week 2024
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A two-fic AU wherein Alastor used to write letters to the King of Hell when he was still human and Lucifer's response.
- Words:
- 28,635
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 15
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- Words:
- 14,191
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 104
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Summary
They said Alastor Bordeaux was the son of the Devil.
They were wrong, of course. He was the Devil’s lover.Written for Radioapple Week 2024 days 5, 6, & 7
Series
- Part 5 of Radioapple Week 2024
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“Why him?”
Lucifer closes his eyes with another sigh. He crosses his arms over his stomach, simulating the hug he so desperately needs.
There’s a lot he can say here.
Like how Alastor makes his hopeless heart flutter with the belief that maybe dreams are still possible; that Alastor makes him feel something, anything, everything all at once, and it is as heavenly as it is torturous.
But all he can manage, in a voice so small he can scarcely believe it’s his own, is, “He makes me laugh.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 58,696
- Chapters:
- 15/19
- Comments:
- 2,369
- Kudos:
- 4,025
- Bookmarks:
- 1,094
- Hits:
- 99,610
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A far more logical approach to how the Might of Lilith could have been disengaged, with a side of RadioApple/AppleRadio.
In short, Alastor is not overly impressed with the people he surrounds himself with.
Alternative title: I'm Surrounded By Idiots
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Love Is (Not) In The Air by YunaYamiMouto
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon), Helluva Boss (Web Series)
14 Feb 2026
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Lilith was finally returning to Hell and Charlie had big plans to get her parents back together. It would be super romantic, since her mom had chosen Valentine's Day, the most romantic holiday, so surely she wanted that, too! And her dad has been longing for her for so long ... Charlie is sure it would be a huge success and all of Hell would celebrate the return of the royal couple! However, unknown to her, Lucifer had finally found his soulmate and was not letting go. Not that his soulmate had any such inclinations, either.
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Opportunities a certain pair of rivals could have used to ragebait or troll the hell out of Hell, a mini-series of humor, drama and surprise-plot that snuck up on me as much as it would you.
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In the wake of Vox's failed holy war, the Pride Ring recovers. The Overlords are quiet as mice, sinners are continuing with their lives, the Hazbin Hotel has more guests than ever and the Radio Demon's name is whispered in fear and awe once again. Only this time, it's not for the same reasons as before.
Or: Hell witnessed Alastor break two deals on live television. This has consequences. Cue hordes of sinners coming to him for contract advice. Sometimes not even just sinners.
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Hell was a manifestation of pure Evil born of the moment that Eve bit into the Fruit of Knowledge. An ugly tear in the perfection that had been made by Purity and Goodness. Everyone knew this as absolute fact, from the holiest of Seraphim to the lowliest imp.
Everyone was wrong.
Series
- Part 1 of Avatar of Hell
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He’s done some pretty insane things in his time alive—he’s been alive for a long, long, uh, very long time, after all—but, perhaps, this one, probably, takes the cake—the last nail in the coffin, one could say, of his persistent insanity.
(Or the last nail on the Bambi.)
He grins.
(Oh, well—worth it.)
AKA
In which Lucifer is determined to prove that Vox is a lying liar who lies and that Alastor does, indeed, have a tail—(for literally no reason at all).
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Confessions from the Hazbins by tequilamockinbird
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon), Helluva Boss (Web Series)
03 Jan 2026
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Alastor: Anway! I shadowed up to the King of Hell’s room, where she was pounding on the door. I shot a glare at the No Alastors Allowed sign. How childish.
Lucifer: And necessary, in any place with Alastors. Now available near you, in travel size!
Alastor: Shut it. Lucifer answered the door in – I kid you not, my fellow hellions, it was a duck onesie. It was yellow fleece, with a little orange bill on his forehead.
Lucifer: Ugh.
Alastor: I’m telling you, it was outrageous. I tightened my grip on my staff, thinking what a nitwit he was.
Lucifer: Hey!
Alastor: Stop interrupting – we had a deal. Are you done?
Lucifer: … Are you done being an attention whore?
Alastor: No. Anway, Charlie was hyperventilating. “Mom called! Mom called me back! She’s coming home! She’s gonna be here any fucking minute!”
And I watched Lucifer’s cherubic little off-the-cob expression fall.
Fall, my dears.
Lucifer: Fuck you.
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Look, Lucifer didn't care much about Alastor, if he could disappear the guy without making his daughter sad he would do it, but that didn't mean he felt comfortable knowing that Alastor had a stalker and Alastor shouldn't be okay with that either because those are things of “rivals” What the hell?
Lucifer is going to fix that, whether Alastor likes it or not.
Series
- Part 3 of My hazbin hotel fics
- Part 1 of Unspoken understandings
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,727
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 31
- Kudos:
- 880
- Bookmarks:
- 132
- Hits:
- 9,427
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Summary
Lucifer lifts his head and blearily looks around the room. A part of him must still be asleep because he’s pretty sure he doesn’t have a fireplace in his room. Or the skeleton of some kind of creature on the wall. And a...a tree? Several trees? Are those fireflies?
He stares at the floating little dots of light, and the misty bayou beyond them, then turns and squints at the other side of the room, where there's a wallpapered wall and dark-wood floors. He turns his head again, to the moss-laden trees, cattails, and glowing bugs, and then looks down at the red comforter he's burrowed in.
This…
This is not his blanket.
He looks up.
This is not his room.
<><><><>
Lucifer wakes up in Alastor's room after a drunken one-night stand.
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It had been eons since Lucifer last took an interest in a human, yet this man caught attention. A contrary mix of sins and virtues, the king was fascinated by watching him work, to see him react and use the information he granted him through his dreams. Oh how he itched to speak to Alastor himself… Perhaps it was time for him to reveal himself?
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Alastor knew he was being watched. He didn’t know by what or who, but he could feel a presence observing him. It was obviously something not human, something that had the powers to take control over his dreams. What he couldn’t understand was why. Why was this… thing so dead set on helping him? And more importantly, what would it require in return?
Or,
Alastor caught Lucifer's attention while he was still alive. He just didn't know that until he finally arrived in hell.
Written for the 2025 RadioApple A-Z Project.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,828
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 45
- Kudos:
- 1,314
- Bookmarks:
- 289
- Hits:
- 8,658
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Lucifer knew Alastor didn’t want him to think he was solely interested in him because of his money, but the stubborn idiot had already made that abundantly clear. Between that and him suddenly struggling to pull in clients like he once had (which made no sense whatsoever), he had no doubt the nest egg Alastor had bragged to him about was dwindling.
On top of that, he’d received a suspiciously timed and surprisingly generous offer from Valentino of all people.
Lucifer was probably being paranoid, but if Vox was involved like Lucifer suspected, this was only the beginning...AKA
RadioApple Vampire AU with vampire!Lucifer and human!Alastor. All Lucifer wants is to live happily ever after with his bratty, brilliant, and headstrong boyfriend. However, a string of suspiciously bad luck on Alastor's part makes it seem as though rival vampire Vox hasn't given up on making the human his by any means necessary.
Completed: 10/28/25
Series
- Part 2 of Just One Little Bite
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Lucifer sighed as he lowered the menu only to nearly jump out of his skin when he found the real Alastor standing in front of him, hinged at the waist and his hands clasped behind his back. Thankfully he managed to hold onto the menu rather than hurl it at him.
The bastard chuckled as he straightened and Lucifer‘s breath caught as he took in what could only be described as temptation incarnate.
If he hadn’t already been aware of his age, he would’ve thought he was twenty-five at most. There was an almost boyish look to now, clearly playing into the stereotypical young virgin role.
“I hope I didn’t startle you too badly, Mr. Morningstar,” he said, practically purring the words.
Fucking hell. He may as well have written “forbidden fruit” across his forehead.
AKA
Concerned his friend isn't taking care of himself, Ozzie invites Lucifer out for a night at his club. Lucifer plans to drink from one of Ozzie's blood donor hosts and go back to his self-imposed isolation. He certainly doesn't plan on becoming one of Alastor's regulars. Or on having to protect him from another vampire who wants him all to himself, willing or not.
Series
- Part 1 of Just One Little Bite
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,013
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 53
- Kudos:
- 1,322
- Bookmarks:
- 220
- Hits:
- 9,635
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Father Of Monsters by chibinekogirl101
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon), Hellaverse | Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss Universe
14 Apr 2026
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The wound inflicted upon Alastor by Adam is deep and unfixable, so much so he dies before the battle against the Exterminators comes to an end.
He has no idea what comes from a double death, but he's pretty sure it isn't supposed to be this!
[In which Alastor is reincarnated as Lilith at the dawn of time, and he would like to have a refund issued thank-you-very-much!]
Series
- Part 4 of An Orchard Of (Radio)Apples
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 68,220
- Chapters:
- 37/?
- Comments:
- 4,796
- Kudos:
- 4,518
- Bookmarks:
- 935
- Hits:
- 124,721
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Lucifer Morningstar, the Devil, King of Hell, Prince of Pride... can't interfere with Sinners.
He can't hurt them, can't punish them, can't make deals with them...
But the living? Oh, the living are fair game! And he needs someone else, a Soul guaranteed for Hell, to handle such things for him.
Or:
When Alastor Summons a Demon on the day before his untimely death, he managed to reach far, far higher than a classy cannibal Overlord...
Series
- Part 7 of An Orchard Of (Radio)Apples
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“I think you’re willing to make a deal now, would I be correct?”
The sinner nodded his head frantically.
“Lovely. The terms are thus: you are going to give me your pathetic soul, and go out and—” Alastor chuckled. This was absolutely hilarious. He owed his darling Rosie for this later. “—spread the good word of our Lord and savior Lucifer. Be respectful of our King in all ways. Oh, and perhaps a public apology wouldn’t be too out of place. Of course, remember, if I find that you aren’t wholeheartedly abiding by the true intention of our deal, I’ll bring you right back here and give that smile of yours a little extra work-over. So, do we have a deal?”
My play on a more realistic version of how an 'Executioner Alastor' could come to be.
Feat: No deals between him and Lucifer, torturing of wayward sinners, a cursed duck child, a mounted TV, and attempts to make everything that Lucifer relies on center around him until he is so indispensable that Lucifer can't do anything to get rid of him.