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  1. *

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    Ilya knows firsthand that the world isn’t comfortable. It’s loud, bright, demanding, a harsh place in direct opposition to everything he’s recently learned about autism.

    Is it so wrong that he wants Shane to feel safe here? To carve out a space where, even if only for a few hours, he doesn’t have to grin and bear anything? He can just be?

    Or: Ilya Rozanov has a lot of good ideas. Telling his fuck buddy that he should consider getting an autism diagnosis isn’t one of them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,094
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,339
    Kudos:
    23,171
    Bookmarks:
    4,745
    Hits:
    137,151
  2. *

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    Ilya Rozanov @rozan0v_off
    Almost fell asleep watching Shane Hollander play. Is the most depressing man I know. Even his chirps are polite. Maybe he wouldn’t be so boring if he weren’t best friends with his mom?

    What the hell, Rozanov?

    Shane grinds his teeth, desperate to keep his tears at bay. This is ridiculous. This isn’t even mean. Not really. Shane should consider himself lucky, really; Ilya is never usually this bad at trash-talking other players. So why is Shane even hurt?

    Perhaps it’s the fact that Ilya wrote something about him at all, and Shane only found out because Hayden sent him a screenshot of it. Or maybe it’s the fact that he used the word “boring”, which is an adjective that has been used to describe Shane so many times throughout his life that he’s come to loathe the very letters composing it.

    Or, Rozanov creates a fake Twitter account to defend Shane from his haters, and then overcorrects when some fangirls get suspicious about his identity.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,964
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    308
    Kudos:
    8,178
    Bookmarks:
    1,081
    Hits:
    52,942
  3. *

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    Ottawa Centaurs three young players' (LaPointe, Haas, Young) group chat called "Fairy Trio" gets leaked and everyone is shocked by their pure niceness. That's the fic, told by tweets and text messages.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    985
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    1,604
    Bookmarks:
    127
    Hits:
    8,174
  4. 50

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    This little corner of the world, he thought, had always been his. His shell. His locked rooms. The place he'd built to contain the parts of himself he never let anyone see, the parts that didn't belong anywhere else. The only space where he'd allowed himself to be soft, to be slow, to be a fleshbag capable of hurts and wants.

    It was his body, this cottage. And Ilya had made himself at home in every room.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,734
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    159
    Bookmarks:
    50
    Hits:
    2,757
  5. *

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    "Never have I ever checked out my teammates in the locker room." Comeau said, looking directly at him.

    Shane left his beer exactly where it was and met Comeau's gaze without saying a word, waiting for someone else to break the silence, because surely that had to have been a joke.

    "Come on, Cap. It's no fun if you're just gonna lie." Drapeau let out with a quiet snort.

    Shane frowned, genuinely confused. "What?"

    "You really expect us to believe you've never taken a peek at us in the showers?"

    ⎯⎯⎯

    Or: A game of Never Have I Ever with the Voyageurs turns ugly, it's a good thing Ilya is not too far way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,654
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    207
    Kudos:
    10,347
    Bookmarks:
    1,456
    Hits:
    53,189
  6. 89

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    “Really, Rozanov only had eyes for Shane. His eyes followed Shane’s form like they were magnets, or as if he were a man dying of thirst and Shane was a lake of fresh water. Like if he looked away for even a moment he’d die.”
    “ Shane was making eye contact with Rozanov.
    Shane was still making eye contact with Rozanov.”

    OR, Hayden slowly comes around to Ilya because Shane isn’t uncomfortable to make eye contact with him, but actually revels in it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,156
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    962
    Bookmarks:
    89
    Hits:
    7,381
  7. *

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    It's time for Ilya to come out to his team and tell them about his engagement to Shane. He decides that the most fun way to do this would be to bring Yuna to Bring Your Mom to Practice Day. Also, maybe it actually means a lot to him, too.

    Or

    Ilya is excited to finally be able to show off his wonderful "adoptive" parents.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,523
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    463
    Kudos:
    8,113
    Bookmarks:
    1,005
    Hits:
    78,142
  8. *

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    “Tell me how you feel about me,” Ilya breathed, fanning hot against Shane’s neck. Gently, he nudged Shane’s chin with his nose, tilting his head up.

    “I don’t know,” Shane murmured, soft and breathy. He didn’t even have to try to sound shallow, he was giving himself away. 

    Ilya clicked his tongue—a low sound of disapproval, maybe even disappointment?

    “You don’t notice me. That makes me sad to hear," he whispered, “because I am obsessed with you.” 

    “I didn’t mean—”

    Shane’s protest dwindled into a moan, and was cut off by the soft kiss of Ilya’s lips finally connecting with the delicate skin of his neck—subconsciously, he tipped his head back even more, giving Ilya easy access.

    He’s easy, he’s always been easy for Ilya.

    Or — Shane finally indulges himself in seeing Ilya. Surprise, surprise, he’s in for a treat.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,972
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    59
    Kudos:
    2,011
    Bookmarks:
    308
    Hits:
    23,847
  9. *

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    818181: u like when i call u greedy and gross and a freak and a slut? whoreeeee

    818181: tell me all the nasty shit u think about and maybe I’ll send u a dick pic 💦

    hollander24: Please

    hollander24: Haed to type with one hand

    hollander24: I think about a lot of things. Being tied up, gagged, slapped and hit, and uh

    hollander24: Forced to take it 

    818181: …wow 

    818181: u really are a fucking whore. 

    Or — One night, while bored out of his mind, Shane stumbles across a website to sext people on. Cue in Ilya, who is more than willing to indulge Shane in his wants.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,015
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    66
    Kudos:
    2,730
    Bookmarks:
    310
    Hits:
    29,843
  10. *

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    Summary

    Shane returns from the showers to find the locker room far more animated than when he left it. Everyone has their phones out, and when he sees Shane coming, JJ says, “Câlisse, Hollander, about fucking time! Ilya Rozanov got caught kissing a man.”


    After the tuna melt debacle, but before Rose, Ilya makes the reckless decision to go to a gay bar to take his mind off of Shane. When photographs get published, Shane has a realization and devises a plan: he's going to ask Ilya Rozanov to marry him.

    Ilya's going through enough without things he can't have being dangled in front of him. He needs to figure out a different way to avoid going home, because eventually Shane Hollander will realize what Ilya already knows: Ilya isn't worth what Shane wants to do for him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,280
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    1,056
    Kudos:
    9,954
    Bookmarks:
    2,416
    Hits:
    174,241
  11. *

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    “Does he go down on you?”

    Shane does his best to resist rolling his eyes. “Dude. He sucks my dick.”

    “No, I meant like…” Hayden makes the world’s most awkward circling gesture. “Back there.”

    “Oh! You mean does he eat my ass? Yes. And I eat his too.”

    “And the prostate — does he lick it?”

    Shane and Hayden get drunk together and Shane lets Hayden ask all the nasty questions he’s always had about gay sex.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,828
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    752
    Kudos:
    9,541
    Bookmarks:
    869
    Hits:
    47,882
  12. *

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    Ilya’s voice was trembling, a shake deep within him, and it made Shane’s heart break into a million pieces. The fact that he was struggling through something, and the language barrier was only making it worse, made him even more determined in learning Russian.

    “I don’t want to prove myself to the people who love you. It’s—It hurts when they see you, then look me like I don’t deserve you.”

     

    Shane makes a promise to Ilya, and it changes everything.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,119
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    93
    Kudos:
    6,417
    Bookmarks:
    905
    Hits:
    69,129
  13. 57

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    Summary

    "Ilya?" He asked again, hoping to get an answer this time.

    "Ah, hurts so much," Ilya mumbled in russian, taking deep breaths as he spoke. Shane froze, the sexual tension immediately forgotten. Even the shaking stopped. Hurts? Did he translate it right? Oh, God, he hurt Ilya? 

    "What hurts?" It was a dumb question, Shane realized it as soon as the words left his mouth, but it was too late to take them back now. "Show me," he demanded firmly - a tone he rarely used - scooting closer. "Let me see, Ilya."

    or, in which Shane Hollander breaks Ilya Rozanov's dick (literally). It was an accident, but they still have to learn to deal with it - together.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,386
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    303
    Bookmarks:
    57
    Hits:
    4,813
  14. *

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    Summary

    Prompt from Twitter: Boston raiders once used akinator to figure out who montreal jane is and it kept telling them it was shane hollander and they kept thinking it was the weirdest bug

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,345
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    251
    Kudos:
    9,777
    Bookmarks:
    1,063
    Hits:
    42,258
  15. *

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    The Athletic NHL ✅ @TheAthleticNHL
    In its latest rulebook update, the NHL quietly added a ban on PDA on the ice. Is this merely coincidence or a response to Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov’s now iconic Stanley Cup kiss?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,876
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    978
    Kudos:
    25,391
    Bookmarks:
    1,934
    Hits:
    131,892
  16. *

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    Today 3:57 PM

    Jane: Hey so. I need you to sext me like a girl

    Today 10:18 PM

    Lily: what

    Or, Shane Hollander becomes Captain of the Metros, Ilya officially hates Hayden Pike, and there’s a new “girl” coming to the Montreal Met-Hoes chat.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,630
    Chapters:
    46/46
    Comments:
    6,777
    Kudos:
    10,118
    Bookmarks:
    1,514
    Hits:
    240,058
  17. *

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    “We do not say anything about the Hollander situation,” LeClaire tells them even though it sounds like he’s already resigned to what he knows is going to happen.

    After all, Roz gets extremely mad whenever it’s brought up. Not that Cliff can blame him, he’s pretty sure that Roz liked Hollander before this (wouldn’t chirp him half as much if he didn’t). Finding out that he’s such a bastard must sting.

    Not to mention that Roz does not mess around with people that disrespect girls. Or women. Or kids. Or dogs. Or the elderly (excluding Scott Hunter). Or really anyone, if it’s for petty stupid reasons.

    “Of course,” Cliff agrees for both of them since Roz is still too busy texting someone.

    It’s apparently not good enough for LeClaire because he asks, “Roz?”

    “Just one second,” he answers without raising his eyes from his phone or stopping his typing. “Need to get my Jane to agree with something. She’s very stubborn.”

     

    Or. My take on the 'their text leak and now everybody thinks that Shane is an abusive bastard' premise. Featuring Ilya giving a presser, Marly realizing in real time who 'Jane' is and the internet reacting to the craziness.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,602
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    1,475
    Kudos:
    20,442
    Bookmarks:
    4,441
    Hits:
    259,462
  18. *

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    Summary

    ""Is it weird to produce a lot of precum"

    The cursor blinks impatiently for Shane to type enter. Finger hovering over the laptop keyboard. Eyes moving rapidly across the screen, heart rate ticking up. A deep breath and then he presses the elusive key."

    or Shane's previous hookups have told him he gets "too wet" and he's doing everything he can to hold onto Ilya.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,730
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    71
    Kudos:
    3,589
    Bookmarks:
    617
    Hits:
    48,088
  19. *

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    Rozanov glanced at Shane's phone screen, reading the top notification. Then his mouth curved. “Duolingo, huh? So fucking boring, Hollander.”

    Shane’s face went hot. “Yeah,” he said. “Learning French.”

    Rozanov’s eyes snapped to his. The smirk deepened. “Bad liar, Hollander. You are fluent.”

     

    or - Ilya finds out that Shane has been learning Russian behind his back.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,280
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    232
    Kudos:
    15,087
    Bookmarks:
    2,632
    Hits:
    121,558
  20. *

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    Summary

    [Seven members of the Ottawa Centaurs stand in the backyard of Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov. Each of the men holds a bag of candy as they joke with each other while Harris Drover sets up the shot. The sun is beginning to dip in the sky behind them, and the Stanley Cup sits on a makeshift stand made out of a cushioned lawn chair. Shane hovers close to the cup, and can be seen eyeing it with concern as Ilya watches him with amusement.]

    Shane: That doesn’t look very stable. We could have at least dragged the patio table out here.

    Ilya: It’s fine, sweetheart.

    Shane: I know, but it’s my day with the cup, I don’t want anything to happen to it.

    Ilya: Bood seasoned jerk chicken in there, yesterday. I think it will survive a little trauma candy salad dump in our backyard.

    Shane: That feels like a famous last words kind of scenario.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,714
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    303
    Kudos:
    10,196
    Bookmarks:
    882
    Hits:
    44,442

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