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  1. *

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    Tommy and Wilbur lived in the house of two Giants, hidden between the walls and borrowing what they needed to survive. So far, they were undetected and determined to stay that way.

    But the Giants weren’t home right now, so Tommy was only a little bit careful to be quiet as he scrambled through the mousehole and made his way to the kitchen. He was huffing and puffing by the time he hauled himself up onto the countertop and his hands burned from the thread he’d climbed. He wound it back up around his waist as he caught his breath, then started hunting for food.

    He was lucky. There was a slice of cake on the counter, wrapped in plastic wrap. Tommy took a chunk of it and wrapped it up before burying it in his pack. (And a swipe of frosting for himself as a mid-scavenging treat.) After that, he managed to track down bread, a bit of peanut butter that was stuck on a knife, and one blueberry.

    Wilbur was going to be so impressed.

    Or, the Borrowers AU no one asked for

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,203
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    979
    Bookmarks:
    130
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    6,252
  2. *

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    "Wil, you know I can't stay here–"

    "–why the fuck not?" Wilbur interrupts, pouting like a petulant child.

    "I have a life! I have a job! And do you really think the Pirate King, a man known for his bloodthirstiness is gonna let me live much longer?"

    "Tommy isn't like that. He won't kill you or hurt you at all Phil. He knows you. I– I told him about you. He knows what you mean to me."

    OR: Tommy Innit is the Pirate King, the most feared man on the seven seas. He's also a child.

    Too bad Phil doesn't know this when he's sent to hunt him down and kill him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,380
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    1,666
    Bookmarks:
    206
    Hits:
    12,322
  3. 65

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    Tommy is ready to visit the city on his own, without his coven following him. It's been five years since he's turned, so he thinks it's only fair. It's during this outing that he meets Technoblade.

     

    OR

    Soulmate AU, based on the prompt (SPOILERS) "Platonic soul mates except its a vampire who finds out their soul mate is either a Werewolf or vampire hunter" by bberry

    For MCYT FicFight 2022

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,036
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    438
    Bookmarks:
    65
    Hits:
    3,301
  4. *

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    "Okay, Wilbur." He says. "Let's review. Kristin first. Then Phil. And then you. Three different times I have blamed myself for someone leaving me. So yes, I know the feeling. But what do you want from me? I already said the kid could stay. I'm gonna keep a roof over his head and food on his table. If you're asking me to get close to yet another person that I could lose –"

    "You didn't lose me."

    "Didn't I?"

    Or, Wilbur finds a fox under their farmhouse porch one day, and every issue Techno and Wilbur have ever had immediately comes crawling to the surface.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,732
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    800
    Bookmarks:
    140
    Hits:
    4,416
  5. *

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    Wilbur takes his last trembling breath.

    Tommy pulls away from Wilbur's side, bile rising in his throat. He stands on shaking legs, finds his stray knife on the ground and picks it up with blood-coated hands.

    He impales himself with the knife in one quick, practiced stab.

    His last thought is this: he is not losing his best friend like this- he is not losing his best friend at all.

    or, Wilbur dies on a Tuesday afternoon. Tommy wakes up on a Tuesday morning. So it goes.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,936
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    19
    Comments:
    140
    Kudos:
    3,027
    Bookmarks:
    628
    Hits:
    24,669
  6. *

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    Tommy, a dragon hybrid, sits in the shop and awaits a witch to come and save him.

    Wilbur takes one look at Tommy and snatches him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,530
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    2,287
    Bookmarks:
    281
    Hits:
    11,817
  7. *

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    Kristin needs a mortgage for her money laundering scheme.

    Phil wants alibis who won’t ask any questions.

    Wilbur needs a landlord that will overlook his felonies.

    Techno requires a good washer and dryer that can clean blood easily.

    Tommy wishes CPS would get off his ass.

    Each with their own agendas, flaws and secrets, these five are pushed with the common goal of needing to come together as a family in order to evade the law.

    Or: SBI need to pretend to be a family in order to avoid the police's suspicions.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    76,419
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Collections:
    42
    Comments:
    1,080
    Kudos:
    8,695
    Bookmarks:
    1,897
    Hits:
    174,579
  8. *

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    The guard stared at him for a moment, blue eyes blown wide behind his mask.

    It was then the Pythia looked down at the hand outstretched between them. The prosthetic was made of intricately carved metal, covered in vines and flowers twisting together with the shimmer of enchantments reflecting in the purple glow.

    And although the guard’s sleeve was covering his wrist, he knew that in the place where metal met flesh, there was a pair of dark angel wings tattooed on his skin.

    He was right. This wasn’t a real guard.

    This was a Deathling.

    or, Wilbur is an oracle known as the Pythia, chosen to receive dreams of the future from the goddess Clara. One day, he receives a dream warning him that during a ball Emperor Schlatt is hosting, the Deathlings—terrorists who worship the goddess of Death—will launch an attack. When his warning goes ignored, he knows there's going to be consequences.

    He doesn't expect one of those consequences to include him getting kidnapped by a teenager.

    aka, a cyberpunk fantasy fusion au with lots of religious trauma

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    260,255
    Chapters:
    28/28
    Comments:
    2,826
    Kudos:
    7,182
    Bookmarks:
    1,003
    Hits:
    237,425
  9. *

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    Yes. Wilbur had to bite his tongue to keep the answer from spilling out of his mouth, because yes he wanted more. Of course he wanted more. He wanted to be more than the bastard prince. He wanted to be more than a mistake his mother made before she married Tommy’s father.

    But that wasn’t the role he had been cast for in his life.

    “It doesn’t matter,” Wilbur said instead. “When Tommy turns eighteen he’ll be crowned King, and I will be his advisor. He’ll be a good king, I’ll make sure of it.”

    or, as the bastard prince of the planet of Eldingvegr, Wilbur has always known he was never meant for greatness. That was his younger brother's destiny. Wilbur's job was simply to try and make sure Tommy could fulfill that destiny.

    That becomes decidedly more difficult when the brothers are betrayed, and are forced to flee their home planet. With the Essempi Empire being one of the largest imperial powers in the universe, the only place that can offer them refuge from Emperor Dream is Zephys IV—capital planet of the Antarctic Empire, ruled by the ruthless Emperor Philza.

    (aka, space royalty au)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    269,006
    Chapters:
    29/29
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    3,367
    Kudos:
    8,789
    Bookmarks:
    1,458
    Hits:
    301,942
  10. *

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    ''It's almost human, with sharp features, pale skin, and a straight nose of a man.

    And feathers. Growing out of his cheeks, intertwining with golden hair, eventually shifting into wings – huge, probably bigger than Wilbur himself, stretched behind his back like a dark, gleaming cloak.

    And claws. Long, almost black fingers tipped with sharp talons, spilling from under green sleeves – fancy ones, with beautiful embroidery, shining like gold in the sun.

    The clothes seem more fit for a noble man, rather than a monster.

    A monster, staring at something behind Wilbur's shoulder with big, piercing blue eyes.

    Tommy, face tucked away against Wilbur's chest, sniffs.

    The monster digs his claws further into the branch he's sat on, leaning forward as if to get a better look at something behind Wilbur's back.

    'Something', that, apparently, is Tommy.''

     

    or: Philza is a lonely god, Wilbur is carrying more than he can handle, Tommy is missing something he never had and Technoblade just doesn’t give a fuck

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    49,219
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Comments:
    493
    Kudos:
    2,383
    Bookmarks:
    530
    Hits:
    46,686
  11. *

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    “You aren’t fucking protecting me!” Tommy shouts. The car is heavy with jagged breaths, Wilbur catching his and Tommy finding his own, too. “You’re stifling me! You’re fucking killing me like a bug! I’m dying, Wilbur, I can’t live like this—”

    “Oh, please—”

    “Don’t pretend like you’re not happy to see me like this!” Tommy interrupts sharply, leaning forward in his seat and craning his neck to get a good look at him. “If you’re so fucking obsessed with controlling everything I do, you must like it when I’m fucking miserable, right?”

    or: When Phil dies and Techno moves across the country as a result, Wilbur and Tommy are the only ones left in the house. Tensions rise over the months, and after the nastiest fight they've had in ages, Tommy catches the first bus he can find out of the state to crash at Dream's house. After a handful of days, when the anger has subsided and he's ready to go home... his bus money has made a mysterious disappearance, and Tommy is officially stranded.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,455
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    143
    Kudos:
    1,149
    Bookmarks:
    201
    Hits:
    10,002
  12. 10

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    Tommy turns to the brightest lights in the sky, cupping his hands to his mouth, and bellows, “Anyone up there? Hello? Can I please get a wish granted or—or however you do it?” After a brief moment of no response, Tommy continues, “Can I get some holiday spirit? It feels like any other night right now and I’m not the biggest fan of that! Just some… some lights or something. I dunno, man.”

    (Or: Tommy ventures to the snow and asks for a wish. Wilbur overhears. Fluff ensues.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,759
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    106
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    704
  13. 47

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    By all rights, he, god-born, muse-born, with divinity diluted in his veins, could have spent his life lounging on a dais. He could have been a king of men. He could have been a god-not-quite.

    He did not do any of these things. Orpheus took to the lands of men. He shed his past like a snake sheds its skin and wandered into the forest. He took a name that he wrote for himself. He carved it with a knife into a tree.

    Wilbur Soot named himself after the phoenix that emerges from the ashes, flame-bright wings covered in coaldust and dark powder.

    Beneath the willow tree’s roots, he buried his knife, his lyre, and his crown in the soil. He kept walking.

    (Or: Orpheus looks back. A crimeboys-centric retelling of the tale of Orpheus and Eurydice.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,912
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    175
    Bookmarks:
    47
    Hits:
    2,043
  14. *

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    “What does it say?” she asks. Techno is the exception in literacy rates. He blinks, letting the quote he’d been studying come into focus.

    Even the finest sword plunged into salt water will eventually rust,” Techno says hoarsely.

    (or, the Dread Pirate Technoblade kidnaps a kid and then accidentally makes friends. He's not very good at this.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,143
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    7
    Comments:
    119
    Kudos:
    1,233
    Bookmarks:
    272
    Hits:
    10,815
  15. *

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    Tommy had lived and died as Theseus, Icarus, Orpheus and Sisyphus. But all he wanted to be was free.

    In which Tommy Soot, originally born in 1509, is cursed to be reborn, to never reach adulthood unless he figured out the Greek myth of his lifetime. He had one rule of not allowing himself to get attached to people but he would have never guessed that a foster family of the creator of Minecraft, an anime stan and a Soundcloud musician would break that rule.

     

    ~ SBI Foster AU but with Greek mythology.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    144,446
    Chapters:
    30/30
    Collections:
    20
    Comments:
    3,740
    Kudos:
    20,437
    Bookmarks:
    4,566
    Hits:
    474,158
  16. *

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    Again, Tommy knew he shouldn’t care. But he knew he’d never be able to live with himself if he did what Wilbur asked. This guy deserved a chance to live, even if he was undead. His chance at a normal human life had been stolen, and while Tommy couldn’t explain why, he felt like he had to make that up to him.

    “Just… let me try to find you a blood source that doesn’t involve hurting people,” Tommy said, squeezing his shoulders. “Once we get that worked out, and you don’t have to worry about feeding, we can figure out where to go from there.”

    The frustration slowly leaked out of Wilbur’s face, until the only thing left in the lines of his forehead was exhaustion. Not physical exhaustion, but something more. Something deeper.

    “You’re the worst fucking vampire hunter I’ve ever met.”

    aka the fic where Tommy's google search history is probably 'what do I do when the vampire I'm trying to kill is depressed as hell and I feel too bad to actually kill him?'

    (turns out the answer is 'make him your roommate and have a found family arc together')

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    73,288
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Collections:
    17
    Comments:
    621
    Kudos:
    6,199
    Bookmarks:
    982
    Hits:
    103,562
  17. *

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    "“That's not a cat.”

    “No,” Phil sighs for a second time, as if he also was disappointed, that the contents of the basket still hasn't changed in the last few seconds.

    The baby rubs its face with a small hand, then looks straight at Techno with large, bright eyes.

    “It's a boy,” Phil adds, in a slightly different tone.

    Techno frowns.

    The boy freezes, still staring at Techno. Then suddenly, makes a loud, screeching sound."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,145
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    154
    Kudos:
    3,715
    Bookmarks:
    449
    Hits:
    36,007
  18. *

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    “Your brother,” she says, making him focus for a moment. “It would be best if you picked him up as soon as possible, but if necessary, someone can stay with him until morning-”

    “Sorry,” Wilbur cuts her off. “But I don't have a brother.”

     

    ----
    Wilbur's mother dies and that's just the start.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    77,582
    Chapters:
    22/22
    Comments:
    560
    Kudos:
    2,359
    Bookmarks:
    465
    Hits:
    49,491
  19. *

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    “If you heard what we said, then you know what Puffy told me about you,” Tommy said, giving Wilbur a sticky sweet smile that was more akin to him baring his teeth.

    Wilbur’s face must’ve reflected the way his heart skipped a beat at that, because Tommy’s grin widened now that he’d found a thread to pull.

    “So?” Wilbur asked, struggling to act like he didn’t care about that part of the conversation.

    “So, I want to know what’s wrong with you.”

    The thread tugged right in the center of his chest, and Wilbur wondered if this was what it was like to unravel.

    or, Wilbur is only a few months away from getting his degree when he has a mental breakdown and is unwillingly pulled out of his classes. With nothing to fill his days, Phil gets Wilbur a part time job at a local bookstore, where he finds himself getting trained by a loud-mouthed teenager who hates his guts right off the bat. Great. All he wants to do is graduate, but now he has to deal with a seventeen year old trying to get him fired. Thanks Phil.

    But somehow, this kid ends up being exactly what Wilbur needs.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,512
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    7
    Comments:
    298
    Kudos:
    3,537
    Bookmarks:
    634
    Hits:
    45,743
  20. *

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    Time is a silly straw, and our favorite anarchist pig and traumatized child are juice. In a world of no consequences, you can pull some pretty epic goofs. Some silly little pranks. It’s chaos time, baby!

    -or-

    I caved and finally wrote the bedrock bros timeloop fic that’s been in my head forever. Oops?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,165
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    218
    Kudos:
    2,089
    Bookmarks:
    356
    Hits:
    27,644

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