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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane Hollander doesn't know what he is. He knows what he wants. For a long time, he tells himself those are different things.

    Ilya Rozanov knows what he is. He can't control what he wants. For a long time, he tells himself those are the same thing.

    They’re just boys who handle it badly—from a junior tournament in Canada to the NHL draft to the moment a security camera at the end of a hallway changes everything

    -

    Shane and Ilya are discovered before they even play their first game

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    114,575
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1,459
    Kudos:
    3,079
    Bookmarks:
    1,406
    Hits:
    122,724

    04 Sep 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Worried about me, Hollander?”

    A few months ago, Shane would’ve called him an asshole and left him in this dingy hospital room alone. A few months ago, Shane would’ve rolled his eyes and thrown back a line about wanting to ensure all his patients were looked after and how he had a responsibility, especially to members of his own firehouse. Hell, a few months ago, maybe Shane wouldn’t have even been here in the first place.

    But today, after the scare he’s had and the hours he’s spent really coming to terms with… well, everything, Shane just nods tiredly.

    “I was. I was terrified actually. I haven’t left this hospital since I rolled in doing chest compressions on you because we couldn’t get your sinus rhythm back and your heart stopped.”

    ***

    OR: Ilya Rozanov is Firehouse 17's supposed asshole lieutenant and Shane Hollander is their newest paramedic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    104,085
    Chapters:
    9/11
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    630
    Kudos:
    993
    Bookmarks:
    562
    Hits:
    29,601

    29 Aug 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Their eyes met once more, but Ilya didn’t look away this time. He lingered on Shane, his eyes heated as they traveled down the length of Shane’s body slowly before coming back up to his face. Ilya wet his lips with his tongue, eyed Shane for a beat more, and then went back to his sketch. Shane’s body flushed hot again and he swallowed hard, desperately hoping his blush wasn't visible.

    Shane couldn't believe it when Professor Johnson announced there was only five minutes left. As hard as it was to concentrate on not getting too flustered, it still felt like nothing as he sat there and watched Ilya sketch. He was sure he could pose for hours and never grow tired or bored so long as he got to watch the thoughtful furrow of Ilya’s brow and the delicious purse of his lips as he focused on his work.

    or, Shane and Ilya are college students that meet when Shane volunteers as a nude model for Ilya's art class.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    151,011
    Chapters:
    14/15
    Comments:
    220
    Kudos:
    812
    Bookmarks:
    345
    Hits:
    35,281

    27 Aug 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    There were things about Shane Hollander that existed only in the dark, and those things were most of him.

    or; a moment of vulnerability at a team gathering turns into a viral scandal overnight when a video of Shane coming out is leaked to the press.

    Suddenly, everyone is watching. Everyone is talking. Everyone is judging.

    It all goes to hell—until maybe it doesn't.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    155,505
    Chapters:
    7/11
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2,455
    Kudos:
    4,343
    Bookmarks:
    2,434
    Hits:
    140,986

    26 Aug 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Then like an anomaly in one of his datasets, a green OPEN tag appears next to one of the restaurants. Shane squints his eyes, having difficulty seeing properly without his glasses.

    Irina's Kitchen
    4.02 stars
    3 reviews

    Shane doesn't bother reading them. He taps on the website and waits for it to load. Only to be met with error.

    Sighing he exits the page and keeps on scrolling. Nothing that is open catches his interest and the rest are closed. He's wondering how stale celery would taste dipped in pickle juice when his eyes land on Irina's Kitchen once more.

    There's a phone number under the address. Shane bites his lower lip and wonders if he should call.

    A woman with an accented voice picks up after the 5th ring.

    “Hello?”

    “Uh, hey, are you guys still open?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    49,212
    Chapters:
    12/16
    Comments:
    2,964
    Kudos:
    9,272
    Bookmarks:
    3,041
    Hits:
    203,707

    26 Aug 2026

  6. Public Bookmark 95

    Words:
    195,635
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    96

    20 Aug 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    In a state of extreme horniness, Shane agrees to make a spicy video for Ilya, and it unfortunately doesn’t stay between just them. One guess as to whose fault it is that it leaks (you're only half right).

    (Set in the 2015-2016 season)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    85,618
    Chapters:
    33/33
    Comments:
    1,015
    Kudos:
    2,310
    Bookmarks:
    727
    Hits:
    68,632

    18 Aug 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    A cancer diagnosis forces Shane and Ilya to stop pretending they have time. They don’t slowly fall into each other—they crash into it, trying to make up for seven years of almosts and what-ifs. But illness doesn’t magically fix who they are. The same walls, fears, and habits that kept them apart are still there—only now they have to face them while fighting something much bigger than themselves.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    177,890
    Chapters:
    37/37
    Comments:
    1,636
    Kudos:
    3,790
    Bookmarks:
    1,390
    Hits:
    147,371

    17 Aug 2026

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    In 2007, Shane Hollander pathetically falls in unrequited love. It’s the biggest mistake of his life.

    In the years that follow, it becomes almost easy to pretend Ilya Rozanov never really existed at all.

    In 2014, Ilya Rozanov signs with the Toronto Guardians. He's determined to make Shane remember exactly what he once felt, but seems to have forgotten the many ways in which he ruined Shane Hollander's life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    172,018
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    315
    Kudos:
    344
    Bookmarks:
    191
    Hits:
    18,603

    16 Aug 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Hollander,” Ilya murmured gently. “Bath is ready.”

    Shane cracked his eyes open, staring dumbly at the burly Russian hovering over him where he was still laying in bed.

    “…bath?” He croaked, voice raspy with disuse.

    “Mm. I ran you a bath. It will make you feel better before you go to sleep tonight. Will help with your sore muscles.”

    Shane asks Ilya to fuck him gently during one of their regular hookups, badly bruised from their game. Ilya runs him a bath afterwards, and they fall secretly and desperately in love that way, through whispered confessions and late night conversations while Shane soaks, and Ilya quietly observes him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,214
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    744
    Kudos:
    6,785
    Bookmarks:
    1,954
    Hits:
    135,936

    14 Aug 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    116,200
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    186

    10 Aug 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Need a bet to get laid, Rozanov? You’re really that desperate these days?”

    “Nostalgic, maybe.”

    “Wow. Big word.”

    “Shut up, Hollander.”

    Shane shuts up.

    “When I win,” Rozanov continues. “I get you for…twenty-four hours.”

    or

    Shane and Ilya are in rival frats in their senior year and it's time for the annual Greek Olympiad. A bet is made.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    155,406
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    2,937
    Kudos:
    13,033
    Bookmarks:
    5,200
    Hits:
    550,844

    10 Aug 2026

  13. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane leaves that Vegas penthouse suite feeling wretched, and like an idiot, and like he never wants to see Ilya Rozanov again.

    Except, well. Then there are zombies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    95,670
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    4,764
    Kudos:
    15,773
    Bookmarks:
    7,096
    Hits:
    273,690

    06 Aug 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    There is a strong scent of antiseptic in the air, the kind that always haunts hospitals and morgues. Ilya thinks it is fitting. He thinks, perhaps, that some vital organ of his is failing irreparably, and he is only waiting for a doctor to call out his time of death.

    “You have lost your memories.” It’s not a question. Ilya’s burning hand drops from Shane’s cheek.

    “Yeah,” Shane says easily. “Wait, shit, did no one tell you?”

    “Is it temporary.” Ilya’s voice is hoarse, pleading. “This memory loss, is it… tell me that it is temporary.” Please, please, God. I know I promised to give anything up, but-

    Shane looks at Ilya with wide eyes. “They don’t know,” he says gently. He seems to be catching onto Ilya’s distress despite the drugs in his system.

    Ilya feels cold all over. Yes, any moment now, they will cover him with a white sheet and take him away.

    Shane's concussion in S01E05 leaves him missing his memories from the last decade. Ilya is now the only person in the world who knows the truth about him and Shane, and is forced to question whether to burden Shane with their complicated relationship or to walk away.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,332
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    1,579
    Kudos:
    13,970
    Bookmarks:
    3,571
    Hits:
    228,509

    05 Aug 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov is many things—a pain in Shane Hollander’s ass, hockey’s biggest playboy, a better chirper in his second language than most people are in their first, the only player who can challenge Shane for the title of “best of his generation.” But when Shane and Ilya get stuck next to each other on a long-delayed flight to the MLH Awards, Shane realizes something else about him: Ilya Rozanov is hot.

    ***

    Shane and Ilya never hooked up at the CCM shoot. Seven years later, they end up on the same flight from New York City to Las Vegas.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,241
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    5,109
    Kudos:
    30,656
    Bookmarks:
    9,771
    Hits:
    403,616

    05 Aug 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    231,957
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    1,076

    27 Jul 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Well, if that’s the best plan we’ve got, I may as well sign up for life in a monastery now”, he joked.

    “No, no, none of this, Hollander. We’re going to get you laid. Even if I end up fucking you myself.” Ilya set down his empty mug and smiled devilishly.

    Shane’s laughter got stuck in his throat as the image of Ilya bending him over his couch popped up in his head. How his cross necklace moved with his thrusts, his hips bucking into him. But stop, no. This was just Ilya’s fucked up way of teasing him. Ilya Rozanov was as straight as a battering ram. And he had no actual interest in fucking his lonely and horny friend and teammate.

    Or when Shane can’t find a strong top to end his dry spell, his friend and fellow assistant captain Ilya volunteers to fuck him – although he’s straight. Presumably …

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,328
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    230
    Kudos:
    3,335
    Bookmarks:
    681
    Hits:
    47,818

    23 Jul 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    129,618
    Works:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    2,475

    23 Jul 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Four months post Sochi, four months of being ghosted by Ilya Rozanov, the Metros are bought by Petrov 7, a multi-national corporation headed up by Mikhail Petrov, an openly out billionaire who has plans to transform the MLH, starting with the Metros.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    112,197
    Chapters:
    18/21
    Comments:
    4,487
    Kudos:
    6,823
    Bookmarks:
    3,193
    Hits:
    223,887

    20 Jul 2026

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    Shane Hollander spends twenty years learning to survive masculinity. This is the record of what it takes from him.
    Three parts, covering minor hockey through the outing: the system, the performance, the collapse. And Ilya Rozanov, who was there through all of it.

    Words:
    56,164
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    257

    18 Jul 2026

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