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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    "All right, I know I'm going to regret asking this," Aziraphale says. "What exactly does this wager entail?"

    Crowley grins like the cat that not only got the cream but has absconded with the entire cow. He grabs the bottle and swigs straight from it despite Aziraphale's tut of disapproval.

     "The pot goes to whichever demon can get an angel into bed by the end of the evening."

     AKA The Fic That Tumblr Made Me Write. Heaven and Hell share a corporate party once per millennium. This time someone's had the bright idea of issuing a challenge to the demons of Hell. Crowley has no intention of missing the opportunity; Aziraphale's just enough of a bastard to make him work for it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,381
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    624
    Kudos:
    11,655
    Bookmarks:
    2,936
    Hits:
    115,313

    03 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “But you admit it! You did tempt me!”

    “I offered you warm food during a storm,” Crowley argues. “If you call that temptation, I’d hate to see you talk to an innkeeper.” Aziraphale scowls some more. Crowley shrugs. “Besides, no harm done. You seem to be enjoying yourself.”

    He has Aziraphale there. “Still,” he says, spreading his hands wide. “It has to be said—” He glances up to the sky. “—for anyone listening, that I am not at fault for my appetite.”

    “Never said you were,” Crowley says. “Just said you liked the oysters.”

    or, an examination vis-à-vis food and forgiveness

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,115
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    260
    Kudos:
    1,978
    Bookmarks:
    748
    Hits:
    24,838

    01 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 46

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    Summary

    After the Second Coming fails to bring about the end of the world, Aziraphale and Crowley are abruptly dumped back on Earth with no miracles, no instructions, and far too much unresolved tension. Also, apparently, a lifespan.

    What follows is twenty-four hours of disastrous flirting, horny panic, bad decision-making, and the increasingly undeniable realization that they’re finally allowed to have each other. If they could just figure out how to talk like actual adults — and perhaps come up with a plan before everything becomes catastrophically emotional — this would probably be easy.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,423
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    309
    Kudos:
    263
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    5,475

    22 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Once a year, Aziraphale and Crowley meet on Earth to discuss the development of the reincarnated Christ child.

    The problem is, they can't stop having sex instead.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    65,448
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    1,896
    Kudos:
    3,429
    Bookmarks:
    936
    Hits:
    67,832

    17 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 64

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    Summary

    Aziraphale steps out of his comfort zone and books a two-week holiday at a nudist resort, hoping to escape the mundanity of his life and learn to love himself in ways he’s never quite known how to.

    Crowley’s been a regular at Eden Hotel & Spa for a long time, staying for an entire month every summer in order to relax his body and mind from the never-ending stress of his corporate job.

    When they meet, sparks fly. But is this just a summer fling? Or is it only the beginning of their story?

    (Spoiler: It’s only the beginning.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,762
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    389
    Kudos:
    288
    Bookmarks:
    64
    Hits:
    4,631

    17 Jun 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Sometimes, a family is a demonic nanny, an angelic cook, and a kid who isn't actually the Antichrist.

    Or: Crowley helps Aziraphale secure a different position at the Dowling Estate.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,029
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    510
    Kudos:
    7,245
    Bookmarks:
    2,259
    Hits:
    62,107

    08 Jun 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    He hadn’t expected a sudden lapful of angel.

    “Very sorry about this,” Aziraphale said, and kissed him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,400
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,147
    Kudos:
    33,156
    Bookmarks:
    7,469
    Hits:
    339,918

    08 Jun 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    He was the bloody Serpent of Eden, and he wasn’t going to stand for this kind of flagrant trespassing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,484
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    589
    Kudos:
    18,703
    Bookmarks:
    3,450
    Hits:
    169,328

    08 Jun 2026

  9. Public Bookmark 18

    Tags
    Summary

    Crowley doesn't eat a bite of supper when they finally meet up more than two years after "Nothing lasts forever." But this time, Aziraphale won't leave the demon unfulfilled.

    “Hate to ask, but—what is it?”

    He hums. “Your ejaculate?”

    “Whatever just came gushing out of me. It’s not…” She groans. “Just. Tell me it’s not piss. Didn’t feel like having a piss.”

    Aziraphale arches a brow. “Of course it feels different. I’d hope you were significantly more aroused by my hand job than you are when urinating.” He talks on over her scoff, “It’s fluid that collects in the bladder during intercourse and may be expelled in significant quantities with or without orgasm via the urethra.”

    Crowley bolts up onto her elbows. “It is piss?"

    Or. Femme-presenting Crowley gets a five-course lesson on satiety, up to and including how to squirt, from one insatiable Supreme Archangel.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,514
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    85
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1,512

    01 Jun 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    For the first time, Aziraphale's body is, well, responding, if you catch my meaning. But it only responds to Crowley.

    Basically a bunch of scenes where Aziraphale is terribly excited about everything sexual congress has to offer.

    Starring: Very Horny Aziraphale and Very Affectionate Crowley

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    189,181
    Chapters:
    42/47
    Comments:
    2,085
    Kudos:
    2,881
    Bookmarks:
    416
    Hits:
    96,527

    25 May 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    This is light speed in comparison to the last few centuries of their relationship, but Crowley is barely holding on to his patience.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,380
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    1,574
    Kudos:
    10,050
    Bookmarks:
    2,177
    Hits:
    120,259

    06 May 2026

  12. Public Bookmark 96

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    Summary


    Fingers entwined with Crowley’s and fair eyelashes catching the soft, chandelier light of the Ritz dining room, Aziraphale leans forward and says, smug as all get out, “We can be us now, just as you wanted. In every way.”

    Crowley doesn’t know what that means. Privately, he hopes it includes more prolonged hand-holding. Maybe they could try for a better kiss this time. All the sinful self-congratulation looks good on Aziraphale, though, so Crowley smiles right back at him and says, “Can’t wait.”

    Aziraphale assumes they’ve been taking the physical side of things slow by mutual, undiscussed agreement. Crowley doesn’t realize sex is on the table. He may not even be in the same universe as the table.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,019
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    483
    Bookmarks:
    96
    Hits:
    4,158

    30 Apr 2026

  13. Public Bookmark 96

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    Summary

    Crowley is pushing forty, recently divorced, and ready to blaze the West Coast Trail in three days.

    The universe has other plans.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,223
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    302
    Kudos:
    504
    Bookmarks:
    96
    Hits:
    7,997

    25 Apr 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    the beautiful and incredibly talented @eklmrlos and i have collaborated again to bring you some ineffables content.

    Aziraphale & Crowley explore the marvellous nuance of what it means to be in love, to be in a human relationship somewhere far in the English countryside.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,231
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    113
    Kudos:
    968
    Bookmarks:
    152
    Hits:
    10,788

    20 Apr 2026

  15. Public Bookmark 74

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    Summary

    Aziraphale hasn’t gone cruising in ages— he hasn’t had sex in ages— but tonight he finally gives into urges he’s long ignored and finds himself tempted into rediscovering himself and his desires by the most alluring, wickedly sweet redhead.

    A wickedly sweet redhead in a kilt, no less.

    Cruising one shot for my Pride 2025 collection 🌈

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,408
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    168
    Kudos:
    519
    Bookmarks:
    74
    Hits:
    5,149

    17 Apr 2026

  16. Public Bookmark 24

    Tags
    Summary

    It's been four months since he told Crowley to leave his office, and after four months of nothing but the occasional icy glare, Aziraphale takes fate into his own hands.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,662
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    137
    Kudos:
    380
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    3,224

    02 Apr 2026

  17. Public Bookmark 19

    Tags
    Summary

    Two weeks after their disagreement in Wessex, Aziraphale is sent on a secret quest by King Arthur to find the famous Lady of the Lake. He anticipates a dull ride through a damp and misty forest, but when he unexpectedly bumps into Crowley — only to find out that the demon has been sent on his own similar quest — he reluctantly agrees to search for her together. However, all is not as it seems…

    Or

    How will our ineffable heroes cope when they find themselves stuck in a dark forest with only one blanket and a far too knowing ‘Lady’?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48,629
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    77
    Kudos:
    61
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1,290

    12 Jul 2025

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    appetentia, appetentiae [f.] A
    1. desire, longing after, appetite for

     

    -

    “You—“ he choked on his words, heart hammering in his chest. A surge of heat rushed through his nerves like a shot of adrenaline, leaving his mouth unhelpfully dry. He cleared his throat and swallowed, trying again. “That’s my shirt.” He was fucked.

    “It is,” Viktor replied coolly, taking a sip from his Man Of Progress mug, gaze unwavering.

     

    Astronomically fucked.

     

    -

    Or, Viktor wears Jayce's shirt, and Jayce tries not to devour him about it (he fails, miserably).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,946
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    2,161
    Bookmarks:
    336
    Hits:
    24,028

    09 Mar 2025

  19. This has been deleted, sorry!

    24 Nov 2024

  20. Public Bookmark 64

    Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale is on the way home from Rome, looking forward to crawling into his own bed in London, when he meets an attractive - and maddening - man.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,106
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    535
    Bookmarks:
    64
    Hits:
    5,540

    22 Oct 2024

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