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The hand removed itself from his forehead. “Temperature is normal,” Gale announced, before using its fingers to gather some stray drool that had trailed down Astarion’s jaw. Before Astarion could register the pitiful jolt of arousal at the sudden skin contact or the sheer absurdity of what Gale was doing, Gale had stuck its fingers in its mouth.
“What the —”
“No new bacteria detected,” Gale went on, “Ruling out food poisoning.”
“Oh, Gods,” Astarion groaned. “And to think that these things are what’s sending our workforce into a tizzy. What next, 'droid? Are you about to give me a rectal examination too?”
“There is no need for one at the moment,” Gale said, confused. “Unless you are seeking prostate stimulation—”
“No!”
Amidst the softly thrumming melancholy of a dystopian, cyber-punk city, former corporate-rat Astarion Ancunín, who has long since lost the will to live, finds himself in possession of a G-413 or "Gale" - an amnesiac android who, strangely enough, enjoys living.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 487,625
- Chapters:
- 57/57
- Comments:
- 4,616
- Kudos:
- 2,332
- Bookmarks:
- 493
- Hits:
- 89,507
Bookmarked by Istra (Pseudoaddict)
10 May 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
How is this not bookmarked. I loooove this fic.
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Then Capon clambers into bed with him, extinguishing Henry’s last flicker of hope that this was a bad joke after all.
There’s a bit of a shuffle while Capon gets comfortable and Henry stews in the curious sensation of a warm body pressed back-to-back against his. He’s slept with girls before, and Mutt, and once, years ago, he even shared a hayloft with Matthew and Fritz… but this is different.
This is Capon. Sir Hans Capon of Pirkstein. Henry’s lord.
Henry and Hans share a bed at Trosky Castle. Twice. And a beast wakes in Henry, one he thought chained and abandoned to the dark long ago.
Disturbed, newly unsure of himself, and afraid he can't be the protector his lord needs, Henry seeks aid from an unexpected quarter: Lord von Bergow's silver-tongued swordmaster.
Set during the canon storyline; spoilers through Nebakov. Now with fanart!
Series
- Part 2 of in toto corde meo
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Baronet Dekarios is a man of science, but the supernatural is as much a science as anything else, isn't it? He's also a man in need of a new patron. So, when an old university friend offers entrance to a party held by one of England's most secretive societies — a club of the country's richest men, rumored to dabble in the occult and the satanic — he sees the opportunity to kill two metaphysical birds with one stone. And all he needs to do to gain entry is secure the approval of the club's mysterious leader, the enigmatic Lord Ancunin.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 52,499
- Chapters:
- 13/20
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 771
- Kudos:
- 304
- Bookmarks:
- 69
- Hits:
- 6,989
Bookmarked by Istra (Pseudoaddict)
27 Apr 2025
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/tolerance to a poison acquired by taking gradually increased doses of it/
The wizard's blood is toxic. Remarkable how repetition turns horrors mundane.
Or, to expound: The wizard of Waterdeep reeks of poison and weed, and Astarion can’t help himself on either count. Luckily, Gale considers any and all forms of experimentation, no matter how virulent, to be fruitful. Things escalate in every possible direction over a series of well-wasted camp nights.
Series
- Part 1 of Deprecation
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 70,220
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Comments:
- 380
- Kudos:
- 1,653
- Bookmarks:
- 318
- Hits:
- 38,161
Bookmarked by Istra (Pseudoaddict)
22 Apr 2025
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Summary
When Hot Mess is cancelled due to low ratings, Astarion loses more than just his job.
Series
- Part 2 of Sauce
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i am once again reinventing the wheel by anonymousAlchemist, argonautix
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
18 Mar 2025
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Summary
It takes a few more loops to learn the right way to go about things. But death is a swift teacher, and oh, darling, do you learn. You memorize speeches, you memorize character quirks. You school your expressions. You modulate your voice. Eventually you play the companions well enough that they vote you leader as soon as they pitch the next campsite. But it’s not enough. Sometimes, staring up at the roof of your tent, you find yourself wondering how much of you is left when you die.
Are you really just meat? Or is it that you’re something else?
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OR: tav in this one: im BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING
in this world, there is no such thing as a resurrection scroll. sorry. suffer.Bookmarked by Istra (Pseudoaddict)
21 Mar 2025
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Worth Any Price by Aemonds_Other_Eye
Fandoms: House of the Dragon (TV), A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms
07 Feb 2026
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Summary
Helaena confronts Aemond in the throne room, and triggers events that will cascade through the dance to come.
Helaena's dreams start to change, and Aemond learns he need not fight the war alone. How far can the Greens go when they start to work together?
Alternate canon events post S02E05, with some book elements.
Series
- Part 1 of My HotD Canon Divergent fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 331,395
- Chapters:
- 54/?
- Comments:
- 1,193
- Kudos:
- 1,407
- Bookmarks:
- 147
- Hits:
- 55,231
Bookmarked by Istra (Pseudoaddict)
20 Mar 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Totally not my usual fandom, but good writing so far!
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Summary
Initially just an epilogue for my own game campaign with my big meaty dark urge drow, turned whole story which I accidentally deleted and am now reuploading, my bad LOL
Hope you enjoy!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 155,332
- Chapters:
- 26/?
- Comments:
- 247
- Kudos:
- 714
- Bookmarks:
- 279
- Hits:
- 33,170
Bookmarked by Istra (Pseudoaddict)
05 Mar 2025
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Run Against (The World That's Turning) by yurikazen
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
10 Mar 2024
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Summary
For Astarion, it starts with the inexplicable emotions inside the stare of a brass-scaled Dragonborn.
(But for Tav, it starts much, much earlier than that.)
[A BG3 campaign re-write, with a time loop twist.]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 164,916
- Chapters:
- 18/18
- Comments:
- 253
- Kudos:
- 687
- Bookmarks:
- 202
- Hits:
- 23,476
Bookmarked by Istra (Pseudoaddict)
30 Jan 2025
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Summary
By some strange turn of fate, Astarion finds himself without recent memories and in a place he's never been before. Or has he? Traces of what's left of his memory slither away, and he's left at the mercy of the leader of the Emerald Grove to help him get home. And Astarion must get home. Before Cazador notices he's been gone too long.
A journey through the Emerald Grove, through the Shadowlands and back to Baldur's Gate. Astarion and Halsin find themselves desperately trying to survive alone and together. And is everything really as it seems?
Series
- Part 1 of Sun and Moon
Bookmarked by Istra (Pseudoaddict)
28 Jan 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
I miss this one, I hope it's updated 💜
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Summary
After the war, Astarion and Isobel take up writing each other about their lives, their loves, and their shared experience of returning to a world that once considered them dead. Post-canon. Astarion x m!Tav and Isobel x Dame Aylin.
Series
- Part 5 of and the waters are warm
Bookmarked by Istra (Pseudoaddict)
22 Jan 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Yes it's good. Read it but read all of a crooked touch first then come back :)
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Summary
After ascending, Astarion impulsively and bitterly breaks things off with our main character (you). Ten years later, he finds you back in his mansion.
Series
- Part 1 of The Vampire Ascendant & You
Bookmarked by Istra (Pseudoaddict)
06 Jan 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
A!A wtih a promised happy ending 🫶
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Summary
Modern AU
With your final year of higher education now approaching, you decide to look for someone to blow off steam with, just to clear your mind. You’re not expecting much, save for a good time.
What you don’t certainly don’t expect us to set off a chain of events that will change your life forever.
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“Lady Shadowheart, Supreme Justiciar, had just approved the latest list of executions, when she needed to make room for another name.”
Dystopian AU one-shot. Shadowheart is persuaded to postpone Gale’s execution, due to his practised tongue.
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Mystery Work
Part of **NU**
Summary
This is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon!
Bookmarked by Istra (Pseudoaddict)
17 Dec 2024
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Summary
It was supposed to be just the two of them. Why did HE have to be here?
Gale swore he'd behave.
(written for my friend groups Anonymous kinkdrink activity)
Series
- Part 1 of Dirty Dining
Bookmarked by Istra (Pseudoaddict)
25 Nov 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
The calolily art brought me to bookmark :)
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Summary
Now, Astarion was a different story. He’d had nothing, then, without anyone noticing how, he’d suddenly had a gaudy tent that was clearly sized for a family, most likely pilfered from one of the many crates belonging to the tieflings piled near the entrance to the grove. And then, joining that, there were rugs, and blankets, and a growing collection of pillows, enough to build a fort. When they were finally ready to travel to the Underdark, Astarion had tried his best to pack and wrap it all into a manageable bundle.
Tried.
Gale remembered the pouted look of frustration. Had wanted to laugh about it, especially considering he was still a bit bitter about Tav choosing the vampire, of all people, honestly, but then Astarion’s frustrated frown had changed ever so slightly to pained resignation. The sight of it had made something twist uncomfortably in Gale’s stomach.
Series
- Part 1 of Stumble and Fall
Bookmarked by Istra (Pseudoaddict)
22 Nov 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
Someone said the next work was their favorite astarion thing and it's bloodweave so... saving for soon
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Summary
“There are better ways to go about this if I wish to speak to someone anonymously,” Gale points out. Shadowheart shrugs, winking at him.
“Sure, but this is possibly the most satisfying one,” she says, and fine, Gale can’t argue with that. But still. Such conversations are surface level at best, and transactional at worst. Besides, it’s not in his nature to consume live internet pornography. He has no desire to share such an intimate act with a complete stranger.
“I would really rather see a therapist,” he says.
Fresh out of a messy divorce, disgraced academic Gale Dekarios finds himself biting off more than he can chew when a seemingly innocuous encounter with an enigmatic camboy, Star, leads him down a precarious path of lies, liberation and eventually—love.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 336,511
- Chapters:
- 36/36
- Comments:
- 3,026
- Kudos:
- 2,468
- Bookmarks:
- 461
- Hits:
- 86,924
Bookmarked by Istra (Pseudoaddict)
04 Nov 2024
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What Can't be Taught by SarahSeason
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games), Forgotten Realms (Roleplaying Game)
25 Aug 2025
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Summary
Lavender's master always made her feel stupid. Abandoned at birth with no idea who her real parents are, Archmage Ezekiel raised her as his own and tried to teach her, but no matter how hard Lav tried - or how much she was punished - she could never cast a spell.
Then Master Ezekiel died. But things were no better. Lav is now trapped in his remote tower alone, unable to leave for fear of her volatile magic consuming her. Day after day she tries to cure herself of her magic to no avail.
Until one day a stranger knocks at her door...
(This is an original story that takes place in an alt version of Faerûn during the same year as the game and stays true to the rules of the canon universe, but Gale never got taken by the nautiloid and the netherbrain and dead three are not the antagonists.)
Bookmarked by Istra (Pseudoaddict)
02 Nov 2024
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Summary
The man nodded. "Let's go, then. I'm..."
His eyes seemed suddenly colder, distant, almost fevered, and she thought she heard him breathe the word "kill." It might have been a gasp, for all she knew. Perhaps the scuttling of walking brains around the ship startled him. Perhaps it was the tadpole again. Whatever the case, the hair on Shadowheart's neck stood up, and she couldn't quite keep the wariness off her face.
"What was that?" she asked.
The man blinked hard, and that fevered look vanished. Not meeting her eyes, he said, "No, I... my name. It's... Kael. Kael's my name."
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A long-haul episodic novelization of BG3 following Kael Shredbare, the Barbarian/Druid Dark Urge that I started as a joke, but then he grew on me. Exponentially. There will be angst, there will be puns, a mix of canon and non-canon (but canon-compliant) vignettes with some Origin spice thrown in. Tags will be updated as the story progresses. Long-winded author, copious notes.
Series
- Part 1 of Ballad of the Death Viper
Bookmarked by Istra (Pseudoaddict)
28 Oct 2024