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This is how Stede Bonnet dies.
At least, that’s what Stede thought to himself as he trudged aimlessly through a snowstorm in rural Canada, entirely alone and lost as all fuck.
--
Or, Stede Bonnet gets lost in a blizzard and is rescued by a handsome lumberjack who crochets.
Series
- Part 1 of Blizzard Boys
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,873
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 164
- Kudos:
- 1,501
- Bookmarks:
- 339
- Hits:
- 11,685
Bookmarked by TheExquisiteCorpse
22 Sep 2022
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Lighthouse Bookshop had been there seemingly since time immemorial. Over forty years at that spot, sitting proud, a beacon at the heart of the community, and when the old owner decides to sell, it's the perfect vessel for Stede's odd restlessness.
And the building is connected to a famous cocktail bar run by a mad genius behind the stick.
One problem: Stede's still married.
ETA: Podfic available thanks to the inimitable KninjaKnitter at this link
Series
- Part 1 of sleeves touching sleeves
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 55,338
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 1,012
- Kudos:
- 1,837
- Bookmarks:
- 649
- Hits:
- 29,557
Bookmarked by TheExquisiteCorpse
17 Sep 2022
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“My thigh is here,” Ed tells him, taking his wrist, lifting his hand until it meets the meat of Ed’s outer thigh. “If you need me to stop and you can’t manage your snaps, you just pinch right here, love. You hear me?”
Stede strokes his thumb over the warm patch of skin just beneath the pad, telling him he knows, telling him okay, telling him he doesn’t want him to stop yet, all without needing to speak a word of any of it. “I will.”
Ed releases him before his hands both come up to cradle his face between them.
“I know you will,” Ed says.
He says it like he really does know it, like he trusts Stede, like he’s proud of him for this, and the feeling that that realization has surging through him is unparalleled in this world. When he says he’d do anything for Ed, he means it; if it makes Ed happy and proud and pleased like this, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do.
“Because you’d do anything for me, wouldn’t you?” Ed continues, as though he can read Stede’s thoughts.
Bookmarked by TheExquisiteCorpse
19 Aug 2022
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In his quest to get himself free, Ed begins a list of ways to do away with Stede:
1. Stabbing
2. Harder stabbing
It gets much worse, and then much better, from there.
Bookmarked by TheExquisiteCorpse
26 Jul 2022
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Blackbeard has broken stronger men than Stede Bonnet.
And yet, this foolish, soft, effervescent man refuses to even bend, let alone break.
***
Or: Stede comes back, he stays, and he perseveres, much to Ed's chagrin.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,620
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 98
- Kudos:
- 1,583
- Bookmarks:
- 403
- Hits:
- 12,114
Bookmarked by TheExquisiteCorpse
19 Jul 2022
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If there’s a truism in his profession, it’s that fear is a better bet than love. A man fears you, you both know where you stand. Love, though, love’s a right fucker. Steals your footing out from under you, leaves you dizzy and useless as a green-arsed cabin boy on his first day at sea. But he doesn’t want to be thinking about this tonight. That’s why he’s drinking.
(Four months later, Ed's on a bender in Nassau when Stede finally tracks him down.)
Bookmarked by TheExquisiteCorpse
19 Jul 2022
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“What’s wrong?” Stede asks him, as if nothing at all has happened, as if he wasn’t just— just laying dead in the shadows of Ed’s nightmares, as if Ed didn’t know what his eyes looked like without light in them, now.
Ed doesn’t even ask him why the fuck he’s in the wardrobe, or explain the horrible dream he’s had, or try to understand what the hell’s happening. All he wants is Stede, and he’d thought he was gone, and he’s here; he doesn’t need to know anything more than that. He’s here.
Stumbling forward, Ed collides with Stede as soon as he can reach him, wrapping him up in a sloppy, disoriented embrace, nearly tangling them up in his haste to get his arms around him. Their heads almost knock; Stede catches him, and Ed twists to bury his face in Stede’s throat, instead.
Bookmarked by TheExquisiteCorpse
18 Jul 2022
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“Ed— What are you doing?” Stede demands, bewildered, a new sort of heat flashing through him at the sight of him tugging his pants down. “Wh—”
“You said we could go swimming,” Ed reminds him. “On vacation.”
He kicks them off, leaving him in his stockings and silk underthings from the waist down, moving to tear his shirt apart next. It comes up and off over his head in an intoxicating sweep of leather, only a minor amount of wriggling required for him to work his way out.
Stede’s only able to— stare, for a beat, before Ed kicks at his shin. “Take your clothes off, love, ‘cause I’m throwing you in with or without them.”
Love, he says, and Stede’s fingers clench up into white-knuckled fists before he rushes to do as Ed’s instructed him to do, half-intoxicated with desire, half-terrified Ed will ruin his clothes with the saltwater.
Bookmarked by TheExquisiteCorpse
17 Jul 2022
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The thing is, when you’re Blackbeard you’ve got kind of a reputation to uphold. When you captain a ship, when you lead a crew, when people look up to you, tell stories, build a legend – parts of that legend are always more accurate than others.
And maybe you just let it slide, some of the things people say. Some of the things they assume. Maybe you swagger around and wear black leather and are a handsy bastard and let the stories tell themselves.
Maybe you don't want to talk about it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,819
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 458
- Kudos:
- 3,820
- Bookmarks:
- 1,089
- Hits:
- 30,648
Bookmarked by TheExquisiteCorpse
17 Jul 2022
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Dash Yourself Upon the Rocks by triedunture for pinehutch
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
06 Jun 2022
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Summary
“The expedition on which we are about to embark will be perilous. Some of us may not make it back. Some of us— Ah, yes, Frenchie?”
“Yeah, I was wondering.” Frenchie lowered his hand. “Are we even sure the Kraken really exists?”
--
Captain Stede Bonnet is on a hunt for the famed Kraken of legend. He doesn't find what he expects--in fact, Ed finds him first.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,586
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 127
- Kudos:
- 1,274
- Bookmarks:
- 269
- Hits:
- 9,973
Bookmarked by TheExquisiteCorpse
05 Jul 2022
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If this man lives— which Ed has no intention of allowing to happen— he could start a whole fresh horror story, could tour the seas telling this brand-new tale about Blackbeard’s specific brand of savage violence. This time, it would even be entirely fucking true.
This time, it won’t be Izzy that kills a man for him, or the flames of a fire, or the blow of a fall. It won’t be committed from a distance, and it won’t be an experience-twice-removed, and it won’t be outsourced to somebody else. It won’t be an accident; it won’t be a legend; it won’t be a mistake, or an exaggeration, or just another myth that sailors tell each other for scares late at night.
It won’t be a technicality that kills the man that killed Stede Bonnet. It’ll be Ed.
or: ed and stede are ambushed, and ed thinks he sees stede die. he doesn't, of course, but ed doesn't know that.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,407
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 107
- Kudos:
- 1,955
- Bookmarks:
- 423
- Hits:
- 16,855
Bookmarked by TheExquisiteCorpse
05 Jul 2022
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“Was it about the, uh. The sex?” Stede’s voice is slightly hushed, as if everyone on the ship didn’t hear their bed slamming into the wall last night when Stede started chanting harder, harder, harder. “Because if you’ve changed your mind there’s no need to do anything differently.”
“No, s’not that.”
“So it is something?”
Series
- Part 2 of Mine is the Morning
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,091
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 122
- Kudos:
- 2,412
- Bookmarks:
- 198
- Hits:
- 21,840
Bookmarked by TheExquisiteCorpse
05 Jul 2022
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“Morning,” is the first thing Ed hears.
Sensation overwhelms him before he can blink the sleepy blur from his vision: soft, supple linens wrapped around him, and his arms, wrapped around a warm, breathing form. The sun’s heat streams in a little too hot, the way he hates in the morning, after its risen fully and burns his fucking eyes. He doesn’t mind the sting when he opens them this morning. There’s a gentle grumbling grabbing his attention instead.
Stede’s rustling against him, so it must have been him, then. Talking. So early.
Series
- Part 1 of Mine is the Morning
Bookmarked by TheExquisiteCorpse
05 Jul 2022
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“Do you think I could help in some way?” he asks.
Ed glances at him. “Like how?”
“I don’t know. You seemed to enjoy our little gag of trading places that one time.” Stede shrugs a shoulder. He’s wearing his pink satin waistcoat and matching breeches, no overcoat—too fucking humid tonight. Ed can see the shape of his arm through the thin linen of his shirt. “What if you pretend you’re the one who isn’t in charge, and I can pretend I’m the one who is. That would be fun, wouldn’t it?”
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Sometimes some co-captains invent soft domming to cope.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,713
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 330
- Kudos:
- 4,763
- Bookmarks:
- 1,021
- Hits:
- 33,080
Bookmarked by TheExquisiteCorpse
21 Jun 2022
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“Stede.” Ed tilted his head closer, beard rasping along Stede’s jaw and that really oughtn’t to have been as titillating as it was, making him wonder how it would feel… elsewhere. “Mate. Don’t know about you, but things are getting a bit… urgent, if you get my drift.”
“Mm!” God, his hips were rocking, rubbing against Ed’s, and he couldn’t – didn’t – want to stop them. And the fingers. Fingers on his buttons. Offer and invitation and he nodded, pressing breathless, open mouthed kisses down the curve of Ed’s neck.
“C’n’you do me?” Ed breathed, tugging at Stede’s buttons.
Do him. Do for him. Do with him.
Bookmarked by TheExquisiteCorpse
21 Jun 2022
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What if Badminton pulled the trigger?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,031
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 175
- Kudos:
- 4,743
- Bookmarks:
- 837
- Hits:
- 24,726
Bookmarked by TheExquisiteCorpse
20 Jun 2022
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“Now you’re—” Stede babbles, going absolutely pinkish. “You’re laughing again!”
Ed nods, still giggling. “I’m just—I’m sorry, it’s not because—”
“Am I doing something wrong?”
“Stede, darling,” Ed says, cupping Stede’s face. “Don’t be foolish. It’s because you’re doing something right.”
Or: Stede’s never laughed during sex before. Hell, he’s barely even smiled. So when Edward can’t stop giggling during their first time, he’s not really sure what to think.
Series
- Part 1 of love, laughter, and other fine things
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,424
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 381
- Kudos:
- 6,341
- Bookmarks:
- 1,149
- Hits:
- 45,859
Bookmarked by TheExquisiteCorpse
18 Jun 2022
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Did people kiss like this? This often? Oh of course they must, not everyone shared his own stilted experiences with intimacy...
Canon-divergent ending to Episode 9 — in which Stede discovers just how touch-starved he's been, while Ed takes full advantage of his first chance to be gentle with someone.
Update: Russian translation available
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,477
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 296
- Kudos:
- 6,913
- Bookmarks:
- 1,074
- Hits:
- 67,872
Bookmarked by TheExquisiteCorpse
15 Jun 2022
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Stede finds the house. When he comes back to their room at the inn, he won’t rest—won’t let Ed rest—until Ed’s seen it. His eyes are bright in that way that makes Ed’s guts feel scooped out with a spoon. So Ed hurries into his boots and goes with him.
The once-white paint is stripped by weather and wear, a portion of the roof is caved in, and the spokes of the wraparound porch are all gnawed through by animals.
Ed gazes up at the broken windows and the birds that have built nests there. At his side, Stede is waiting, rocking back and forth on his heels.
"It’s perfect," says Ed.
***
Or: Ed and Stede leave the island together, and they don’t look back.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 33,484
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 613
- Kudos:
- 3,902
- Bookmarks:
- 1,319
- Hits:
- 67,128
Bookmarked by TheExquisiteCorpse
15 Jun 2022
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He has to go back.
---
11 page comic of what happened after Stede's run-in with Chauncey in Episode 9.
Bookmarked by TheExquisiteCorpse
15 Jun 2022