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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Crowley.”

    “Angel.”

    “What's wrong?”

    Crowley fidgets. “You can be really annoying sometimes, you know that." Aziraphale holds his silence. “I’m not… hurt.”

    “But you,” Aziraphale starts, then bites his lip. “You keep… flinching. Is it—has it always…?”

    “What?” Crowley’s face is really so lovingly expressive. “No! No, you—you’re fine. It’s me.”

    “Crowley,” Aziraphale says, exasperated, “explain.”

    “I, er, drank some poison. On accident.”

    “Oh! You should have told me earlier! What is it—do you need—“

    “Aziraphale. I’m not dying. But I,” and he swallows, and falls silent again.

    “Would you like me to guess?”

    “No! How would that be helpful? No.”

    “Well what is it then?”

    Crowley grumbles something. Aziraphale is quickly coming to the end of his very, very long, almost endless patience—he steps forward and grabs Crowley’s wrist and Crowley makes a noise.

    It all goes very still. Aziraphale stays frozen in place, staring at Crowley with wide eyes.

    “Are you,” he starts.

    “You’re not hurting me,” Crowley mumbles, his face in his hands. Aziraphale makes an inquisitive noise. “I said, you’re not hurting me.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,203
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    73
    Kudos:
    1,882
    Bookmarks:
    354
    Hits:
    18,695

    19 Jul 2025

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Crowley had always garbed himself like an expensive, Gothically-inclined rent boy; and moreover, Aziraphale had known him for several thousand years and had never known him go anywhere cramped or sweaty unless he was on the job.

    OR:

    Three Times Aziraphale Stalked Crowley In Gay Clubs And One Time He Moped At Wilde’s Grave

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,704
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    456
    Kudos:
    2,655
    Bookmarks:
    849
    Hits:
    32,961

    03 Jul 2025

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “On the matter of touch,” Crowley begins, waving his teaspoon in what he hopes passes for idle curiosity. “Thoughts?”

    ---

    For two ineffable husbands, they don't really touch each other much. Here is a story on why that might be.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,030
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    522
    Kudos:
    7,187
    Bookmarks:
    1,365
    Hits:
    54,215

    30 Jun 2025

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “Why did you come here?” Aziraphale interrupts. “Why do you keep doing this?” All the saving, he means, all the chasing after Aziraphale he does. It can’t only be that he’s not keen to endure a replacement. That can’t be it, not anymore. He’s going to get himself in trouble, and then it’ll be Aziraphale’s fault.

    Crowley’s mouth shuts with a click. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, reaches for the handle of the fork and taps his fingertips against it before setting his hands in his lap.

    When he speaks, it’s very soft. “Don’t you know?” he asks.

    Aziraphale, unnaccustomed to his heart refusing to translate why it throbs with such haste, shakes his head.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,118
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    7
    Comments:
    981
    Kudos:
    7,367
    Bookmarks:
    2,370
    Hits:
    84,326

    28 Jun 2025

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    God should not have built them with such discrepancy, made them need for love, and long for wholeness, then left them to their own devices.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,937
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    801
    Kudos:
    7,882
    Bookmarks:
    2,370
    Hits:
    95,934

    28 Jun 2025

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    Finally, Aziraphale spoke. “You mean to say— you got us married?”

    “Just as a precaution, I never really thought I’d end up discorporated again, it’d been ages, you just don’t get stampedes or assassinations like you used to —”

    “You got us married, and you didn’t tell me?”

    ***

    Crowley gets inconveniently discorporated. And it’s not like it’s ever been easy to get a new body, but this time around, things really aren’t looking good. His new innuendo-obsessed lust-demon of a coworker honestly isn’t helping things.

    Meanwhile, Aziraphale has a dead body to contend with, and an occult mortician & his very normal daughter to fend off. What lengths will he go to in order to get Crowley back to Earth?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,774
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    1,083
    Kudos:
    5,548
    Bookmarks:
    1,692
    Hits:
    60,819

    15 Jun 2025

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    When writer and restaurant critic Aziraphale starts chatting with the handsome and captivating Crowley every weekend at the local pub, he thinks may have found the perfect distraction from a rather irritating situation at work, considering work is the one topic neither of them have ever broached.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,592
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    163
    Kudos:
    555
    Bookmarks:
    121
    Hits:
    6,322

    12 Jun 2025

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    When actor Anthony Crowley is invited to take part in a special celebrity edition of a certain British baking competition, he agrees immediately. It’s for a good cause, after all. It has nothing to do with his long-standing crush on one of the show’s judges, professional baker Aziraphale East.

    Okay, fine. It has a little bit to do with Aziraphale. Every time they’ve crossed paths, Crowley has walked away more smitten than the last, but he can’t seem to seal the deal. With only two days in the tent, can he whip up something scrumptious enough to convince Aziraphale to take a chance on Crowley – and maybe even on love?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,151
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    492
    Kudos:
    559
    Bookmarks:
    135
    Hits:
    8,193

    10 Jun 2025

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    The cottage isn't going anywhere, Crowley reasoned. There was no need to rush these things.

    Or, before they settle down, Crowley and Aziraphale go on a road trip.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,522
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    506
    Kudos:
    4,407
    Bookmarks:
    637
    Hits:
    46,843

    01 Jun 2025

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Post-season-two. Crowley's moping, Aziraphale wants to fix things, and turns out, there's enough blame to go around.

    -----
    “You’re being ridiculous.”

    Crowley very nearly falls over.

    Like, actually. He very nearly loses balance for no reason at all and tumbles to the sidewalk next to his car. He’s been playing Aziraphale’s voice in his head for weeks, he’s been trying very hard to drown out the sound of it, in fact, and now suddenly, abruptly—

    “What are you doing here,” is all he can think to say. He whirls around, and there he is. On Crowley’s right, standing there like he’d never left. Where he belongs, Crowley’s mind helpfully supplies. He wishes he could punch himself in the brain, knock the thoughts right on out of there.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,856
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    1,274
    Kudos:
    8,948
    Bookmarks:
    2,156
    Hits:
    95,993

    30 May 2025

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Crowley, while still apparently comatose, had somehow managed to wrap himself so thoroughly around Aziraphale on their way up, that any attempt at dropping him onto the mattress without being pulled down as well proved futile.

    And hence, quite defeated, Aziraphale found himself lying in a warm tangle of Crowley and blankets. He felt a little stunned.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,655
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    303
    Kudos:
    9,276
    Bookmarks:
    1,324
    Hits:
    57,339

    30 May 2025

  12. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    This is light speed in comparison to the last few centuries of their relationship, but Crowley is barely holding on to his patience.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,380
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    1,568
    Kudos:
    9,822
    Bookmarks:
    2,129
    Hits:
    115,414

    25 May 2025

  13. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The equivalent of that hot wings challenge, but with porn.
    These are not meant to be strictly chronological, but follow a rough chronological order with some chapters following directly after one another and others skipping over parts to keep the pace up and the heat rising!
    Best viewed in "Entire Work" mode!

    Say hello to me on Tumblr!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,032
    Chapters:
    27/27
    Comments:
    653
    Kudos:
    3,241
    Bookmarks:
    521
    Hits:
    47,212

    23 May 2025

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Crowley gets reinstated as an angel.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    106,998
    Chapters:
    60/60
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3,974
    Kudos:
    8,652
    Bookmarks:
    2,763
    Hits:
    196,713

    20 May 2025

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    CROWLEY: I try not to make a habit of gratitude, but I must give our appreciation to everyone out there who’s been listening and subscribing to The Ineffable Plan.
    AZIRAPHALE: Ooh, yes, we’ve become quite popular, haven’t we?
    CROWLEY: Yeah, just hit number eight on the advice charts … No advertising at all.
    AZIRAPHALE: Mm. How … miraculous.
    CROWLEY: … Aziraphale. You did not.

     

    ***

    Crowley and Aziraphale are very possibly the people least qualified, on the entire planet, to start up an advice podcast.

    But what else is there to do when the world isn’t ending anytime soon, you’re technically on indefinite sabbatical from your lifelong careers, and you need a plausible excuse to spend more time with your best friend who you’re definitely not, absolutely not, maybe just a little, actually maybe overwhelmingly in love with?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,541
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    9
    Comments:
    1,169
    Kudos:
    21,383
    Bookmarks:
    5,737
    Hits:
    138,082

    16 May 2025

  16. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Aziraphale has not shut up in thirty-four minutes. Crowley’s been counting.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,735
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    685
    Kudos:
    10,293
    Bookmarks:
    1,665
    Hits:
    65,277

    15 May 2025

  17. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Crowley's been annoyingly in love for six thousand years. What's another lifetime between friends?

    Or: Aziraphale definitely fucks and isn't that just perfect?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,134
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    613
    Kudos:
    11,220
    Bookmarks:
    2,129
    Hits:
    94,199

    15 May 2025

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    "Endearment" (noun) - A phrase expressing affection. A word that you use to show that you love someone.

     

    Six thousand years’ worth of countless iterations of ‘you go too fast for me’ have left Crowley utterly unprepared in the face of Aziraphale’s unguarded affection.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,036
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    442
    Kudos:
    11,943
    Bookmarks:
    1,281
    Hits:
    71,674

    13 May 2025

  19. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “I read the books about you,” Muriel said matter-of-factly.

    Crowley wasn’t following. “The books about me?”

    “The letter books to Aziraphale’s friend Diary? You must know them. They must be an angel, but I don’t think I’ve ever met them before.”

    Crowley coughed heavily. “You’ve read Aziraphale’s diary?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,115
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    1,937
    Kudos:
    14,614
    Bookmarks:
    2,883
    Hits:
    161,601

    13 May 2025

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “I’d love to meet with you,” Davey said, apologetically, when he had been called up by a fellow looking to initiate therapy, “but I’m all booked up for months.”

    “Are you sure?” The fellow said, through a poor connection that crackled.

    Davey had been sure. And yet. Right there in his calendar was a blank spot, just a few days away, which he had somehow completely overlooked before. “How about that…I’ve got Wednesday at eleven, if you can make that work.”

    “What a miracle,” the fellow said, “that would be just the perfect time.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    74,884
    Chapters:
    18/18
    Comments:
    2,968
    Kudos:
    5,846
    Bookmarks:
    1,278
    Hits:
    135,069

    05 May 2025

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