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requests closed! it will take a while to write them, so please be patient ^^
Bookmarked by TheOGAlexMarsh
17 Jan 2026
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Bookmarked by TheOGAlexMarsh
17 Jan 2026
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clownzy quickfic i miss rhem
Bookmarked by TheOGAlexMarsh
17 Jan 2026
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Branzy's in need for some quick cash. He says yes to a sketchy commission that he normally wouldn't. It's quite a surprise when he learns the customer is Clownpierce, reputedly the most dangerous man in the city. And in a twist of events, he hires Branzy. So what do you do when you're a redstone genius that's deathly afraid of your employer? Flirt with him, obviously.
— —
Clown gave a lopsided smile, his teeth sharp. “When it comes to what really matters, the house always wins, love.”
Branzy nodded thoughtfully, turning back to the machine. That makes sense then. He’s never been the best businessman—Rek was the expert on that normally. And—
“Hang on,” Branzy suddenly said, turning back around, “What did you just call me?”
Clown blinked innocently.
He stared at Clown for a moment more, before abruptly turning back to the machine. Branzy poked around in the mechanical guts, trying to keep his heart from picking up speed. Had Clown been … he couldn’t have been. Could he? Was he flirting?
— —
Biohazardous weapons, blood, and flirting-but-not-really included. Not beta read.
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Branzycraft is a kept man. The sky is blue. Water makes things wet. Things that should be simple, known facts of life.
Which is to say, Branzy has no idea how the people around him right now are so oblivious as to kidnap him. They can’t be older than college age. Clown won't care their age, only their audacity. Fucking idiots with death wishes, the lot of 'em.
Series
- Part 4 of freak4freak
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When you die, it is not quick. It is a struggle, a clawing out of the grave and a gasping of air, until you meet a slow, agonizing demise. A quick death on Lifesteal is a mercy, one that very few people deal out. Fights are drawn out, long, potion after potion being deployed to survive just a little bit longer. Most people use the ten second undo time to their advantage – often waiting ten seconds before dealing the final blow to a trapped and disabled opponent. This leaves their opponent weakened, creating a hesitation in retaliation.
Branzy knows this all too well.
*~*~*
OR, Branzy gets a little bit stabbed. Clown does his best.
Bookmarked by TheOGAlexMarsh
13 Nov 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
AHHHH ITS AMAZING I LOVE IT THANKYOU AUTHOR!!
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Short stories of lifestealers!
This book does not contain any ships or any angst, this is just made for the funzies !! :3
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This New Year’s celebration was about to be so, so fucking lonely. So Clown goes for a walk to the city centre and meets someone who might just cheer him up because somehow, they get along instantly.
(Previous name - Watching the snow fall, just like we are falling for each other on this New Year's night)
Bookmarked by TheOGAlexMarsh
22 Aug 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
the warmest fic i have ever read. use the recipes, me.
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Entry of the Gladiators by Thrills (IWantToRemainASecret)
Fandoms: Lifesteal SMP, lifesteal
13 Feb 2024
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Branzy moves into his new apartment and discovers his neighbour has... unusual music taste.
Series
- Part 6 of Thrills LifeSteal Fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,865
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 315
- Kudos:
- 2,296
- Bookmarks:
- 259
- Hits:
- 28,133
Bookmarked by TheOGAlexMarsh
18 Jul 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
the best clownzy fic i have read i such a long time.
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Summary
Housewife Branzy and a murderous Clown. Absolutely nothing else.
Series
- Part 5 of Endorssi’s Pep and Concert Music
- Part 4 of Endorssi's Clownzy
- Part 3 of 1996
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Here’s the thing about Branzy: he’s a coward. He has some dignity, sure, but he’s absolutely going to sacrifice it all if it increases his odds of survival. And sure, he’s never faced anything scarier than an angry homeless person, but the principle remains the same.
Series
- Part 1 of clownzy clownzy clownzy
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Branzy has come to the horrible, devastating realisation that he's in love with ClownPierce. Right after he betrayed said jester.
What a better way to handle it then not?
or; An old fanfiction of when Branzy "betrayed" Clownpierce, and how that would've unfolded if he actually took the deal.
Series
- Part 2 of patheticlight's clownzy :3!!
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ParkCivTown by WowzaItseEF
Fandoms: Hadestown - Mitchell, Parkour Civilization (Web Series)
05 Aug 2025
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A retelling of Hadestown by Anaïs Mitchell, but Parkour Civilization.
Evbo is Orpheus
Seawatt is Eurydice
The Old Man (or Tom) is Hermes
Clownpierce is Hades
Branzycraft is Persephone
The Fates are:
Fighter Ally (called Snitch here) is Clothos
Pro Neighbor is Lachesis
EMF is Atropos -
A lipstick stain, a missing vest, and I swear I fell in a pool. by Thrills (IWantToRemainASecret)
Fandoms: Lifesteal SMP
06 Sep 2022
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Summary
Branzy woke up with a missing vest, wrinkled clothes that smelt of chlorine, the knowledge he fought with his friend over something stupid, and oh, about a million kiss marks dotting over his face. Who does he know that wears lipstick?
Series
- Part 7 of Thrills LifeSteal Fics
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only if you'd like me to, i can fall in love with you by taswellings
Fandoms: Lifesteal SMP
05 Mar 2025
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Summary
It's a blur, yet so crystal clear.
Clown, being the purposefully cruel thing he is, picks his head back up painfully slow, and it's long enough for Branzy to have the quickest and most frantic thoughts of oh my god hurry up I'm going to pass out.
But when it's not just dark curls blocking it anymore, and Branzy actually meets a pair of eyesㅡ He freezes entirely.
//
or, clown reveals his face to branzy for the first time and branzy is really gay
Bookmarked by TheOGAlexMarsh
07 Mar 2025
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Thrills LifeSteal Fics by IWantToRemainASecret, Thrills (IWantToRemainASecret)
Fandom lifesteal, Lifesteal SMP, LifestealSmp, Video Blogging RPF
14 Feb 2025
- Words:
- 171,235
- Works:
- 12
- Bookmarks:
- 99
Bookmarked by TheOGAlexMarsh
07 Mar 2025
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Summary
Clang
Clown dropped his axe on the floor.
"I refuse… You've done nothing to warrant dying…so… I'm refusing"
He looked at Squiddo
She insisted that Clown killed her, but he still refused.
Or
Clown gets the Mace and has a reunion with Branzy!
Bookmarked by TheOGAlexMarsh
03 Mar 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Master Oogway.... you're strangely attractive?!
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Branzy's eyes darted to Clown’s hand wrapped around the scythe’s handle, understanding the corner he was put in. With a deep breath, he reached his out hand to grasp Clown’s outstretched one.
“Why do I feel like I’m making a deal with the devil?” he asked, a high pitched, fearful giggle escaping his lips.
The room became darker, a few bulbs blinking out as the temperature suddenly plummeted. Clown wrapped his hand around Branzy's, firmly shaking it even as the other took an instinctual step back, no doubt the primal part of him sensing the dark danger that escaped Clownpierce.
“Because the devil makes deals with me, my dear partner.”-
or, the self indulgent clownzy villain au where the heroes are nothing more than figureheads in a city rotting with corruption and the biggest threats to villains are their fellow criminals.
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Summary
Branzy isn't weak, he won't be seen crying over, what? A burn?..
Now he has to hope Clown doesn't notice.
or; Clownzy hurt/comfort/fluff because it's my addiciton!!
Series
- Part 1 of patheticlight's clownzy :3!!