irrelevantduh



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    ---
    "You do realise half of our fans want to fuck you?" Shane exhaled, watching the fireflies dance in the evening sky. Ilya shrugged.
    "They want to fuck all of us, that's how it works. What, do you think they don't want to fuck you?" He lowered his voice, teasing him. "Because I read some interesting things on Twitter."
    "Shut up."
    "You are very popular with the girls. Good boy, bass player, good looks, gentleman, probably they think you are a beast in bed."
    ---

    Shane Hollander is the goody-two-shoes Canadian bassist of Ice Crawlers. Ilya Rozanov is their loud Russian drummer. As the band reaches unprecedented levels of success and fame in the early 2010's, these two can't stay away from each other - even though the last thing their careers need is a sexual scandal between two of the most popular rock stars of their time.

    Rockband AU!

    If you're like me and Hollanov hit you the same way Larry Stylinson did when you were 12, good luck and have fun.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    303,023
    Chapters:
    26/35
    Comments:
    1,840
    Kudos:
    1,689
    Bookmarks:
    931
    Hits:
    116,149

    10 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane is heavier than he used to be; his weight bears down on Ilya in a new way. He’s put on pounds of muscle since Ilya last touched him like this. Ilya flattens his palms, skims them under Shane’s undershirt, feels the flat solidity of his abs, the bulk of his lats, the swell of his chest. It’s the same and it’s new, this body; it’s the boy he couldn’t stop thinking about when he was 18 and the man he loved enough to let go at 26 and the person who somehow always comes to find him when he’s lost.

    A stranger, and the love of his life.

     

    or, Ilya's father doesn't die in 2017; Ilya breaks up with Shane instead of confessing his love. They get older, but not any less stupid about each other. Shane gets a boyfriend; Ilya gets on medication; they work on becoming whole people. And they always find their way back to each other.

    OR a story for those who love Shane and Ilya's baby love but ALSO think it's hot when people in their thirties make active choices about who they are and what they want in their partner!!

    Note: the "cheating" tag refers to the relationship between Shane and his aforementioned BF, not to Shane and Ilya cheating on each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,339
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    1,438
    Kudos:
    7,272
    Bookmarks:
    3,312
    Hits:
    169,483

    24 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    AU where one of Shane’s rookies comes out early on in his career. Organized in chronological order.

    Words:
    168,978
    Works:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    813

    23 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?”

    “Okay,” Hollander says, voice cracking.

    He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.

    A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    222,222
    Chapters:
    28/28
    Comments:
    17,159
    Kudos:
    42,314
    Bookmarks:
    16,623
    Hits:
    1,925,678

    21 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Cardiac tamponade: pressure on that heart that prevents it from filling and beating adequately.

    Shane thought he knew two things: his move to Ottawa would cause chaos, and that the Ottawa Centaurs were nice.

    As it turned out, he only knew one of those things.

    (Or: the Cens are still a team of professional hockey players. They're going to fuck up.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,502
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    1,471
    Kudos:
    7,971
    Bookmarks:
    2,516
    Hits:
    86,664

    14 May 2026