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“Alright, Hermione. Tell me what having a work flirt means. It’s no skin off my back whether or not you engage in an office romance with your former bully, but last I checked, you had a boyfriend. One you could anytime flirt with.”
“Draco’s not actually interested in me. He’s engaged to Astoria Greengrass.” It stung a bit to say it out loud, even though it was the inescapable reality. Ginny knew it. Everyone knew it. “It’s just a bit of fun. Makes the work hours go by a little faster. It’s stimulating—intellectually and physically.”
“Physically, eh?” Ginny lifted a cautiously interested brow.
“Well, just in the sense that it makes my heart race a little.” She picked at a fleck of dirt beneath her thumbnail, embarrassed and exposed by Ginny’s persistent line of questioning. “You know, a little…thrilling.”
“Flirting with Draco Malfoy is… thrilling?”
Or, Hermione and Draco are relentless work flirts, because they think it's all they can ever be. They are mistaken.
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Citation Formatting and Other Love Languages by HeyJude19 for niffizzle
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
21 May 2021
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Granger, Granger, Granger, Granger.
In an unending echo of utter embarrassment.
The presentation parameters were between five and ten minutes. Draco’s clocked in at seven minutes and twenty-four seconds.
It would have been less mortifying for him to lay on the floor for that amount of time and make dying whale noises. -
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Hermione Granger, certified genius, works in a single-person department and prefers it that way.
When Hermione starts getting death threats, Draco Malfoy becomes her unwanted office partner and unofficial bodyguard. That is, until an attempt on her life forces Draco to take drastic measures to ensure Hermione’s safety...
(Or, a story in which Draco makes Hermione wear a golden amulet around her neck that is in the shape of the ‘divine phallus’. A peen.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 92,232
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 1,213
- Kudos:
- 2,237
- Bookmarks:
- 913
- Hits:
- 86,110
Bookmarked by msignhny
09 May 2026
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
THIS MADE ME LAUGH AND GIGGLE SO MUCH KGKGIGXDIXGCKH
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Liable to Be Recalled at Any Time by sportfucker (SportFucker)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Aug 2025
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After the war, Draco Malfoy files a relocation form, registers his Paris address with the Ministry, and waits to be summoned for trial. Any day now, he thinks.
Nine years later, he’s still waiting.
He restores frescoes. He rarely uses magic. He’s not hiding, exactly, but no one’s come looking. Then, on a Thursday in September, a metro door opens, and Hermione Granger steps out.
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Draco awakens in the aftermath of a terrible battle with a purring cat on his chest. He takes the squash-faced beast home to the Manor with him, and they quickly form an unlikely bond.
Yes, he realises it’s Hermione Granger’s cat.
And no, he’s not giving him back.
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Potent Paper and Poison Pen Stationery Shoppe by Cr0ftisprocrastinating
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
03 Oct 2024
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Desperate for some normalcy post-war Hermione goes back-to-school shopping. A surprising foe is behind the counter.
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The war is over and Hermione Granger is haunted by loss. She spends her days going through the motions, following routines to keep it together. The sounds of her neighbor's nightly piano playing slowly stitches her broken heart back together. When she musters up the last of her Gryffindor courage to thank them, a familiar face opens the door.
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There's a creature eating children. Hermione is sent to investigate.
Series
- Part 11 of HMS Dramione
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All Draco Malfoy wanted was to woo Hermione Granger.
Really, it couldn't have gone any worse.
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Draco objects at a wedding.
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I'm Never Lonely When I'm With You by PacificRimbaud
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
02 Dec 2021
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"I won’t take the room." She shakes her head emphatically. "Living with you is totally out of the question."
"Obviously."
“But if I did—"
His brow furrows. "Would you?" -
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It took Draco Malfoy five years of semi-competent adulthood to realise that not every disparaging thought needed to be verbalised.
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Draco Malfoy's Halfway House for Wayward Hens by ChaosAndCrumpets
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
04 Apr 2021
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A story about Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger and 562 ex-battery hens.
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Draco Malfoy didn't mind his mandated job in the Care of Magical Creatures department of the Ministry of Magic. He didn't mind that people stared, whispered, or outright hated him; he was quite happy to keep to himself. But when an intruder barges into his office, he may find more than he hoped for when gaining an unlikely companion.
Series
- Part 1 of An Unlikely Series
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Two years ago, Draco Malfoy thought he was perfectly content spending the rest of his life alone. But it seems that the universe, and two witches in particular, have other plans for the Malfoy heir.
Series
- Part 2 of An Unlikely Series
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Movements, Contrived and Improvised by HeyJude19 for MrsButlertron
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
27 Dec 2021
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Draco and his mother had behaved like upstanding citizens for years, donated thousands of Galleons, yet apparently it only took a bit of romantic fluff with Granger and he could consider himself fully redeemed.
A bar so low he’d barely need to raise his feet to clear it.
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Friendship blooms between Hermione and Draco when he becomes a regular at Full Steam Ahead.
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They had an agreement, you see. Neither of them had ever spoken it out loud, but it was there—solid, expected, constant. He was horrible to her, she was disgusted with him, and there was only one exception.
Quidditch.
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How does one determine their perfect cup of tea?
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Reaction /riˈæk.ʃən/
(noun) behaviour
a feeling or an action that is a direct result of something elseTruth be told, Draco has always fallen into his roles due to circumstances. Spoilt brat; school yard bully; Death Eater; temporary Ministry employee; Heir to the Malfoy fortune.
It's simply easier to react.
He's never had cause to do otherwise.