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O+n the Care and Feeding o+f Wigglers (Porrim Maryam’s Field Guide to Dealing with the Blood-sucking Parasites in Your Life) by CurlicueCal
Fandoms: Homestuck
05 Jul 2017
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You first encounter Kankri when he bites your ankle.
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In which baby trolls are basically big hideous ticks and Porrim adopts one anyway.Bookmarked by problemsloth
11 Feb 2024
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"Hi," you say. "I’m Jane. Last year I fell through a mirror and into an upside-down world full of sentient playing cards where I overthrew the evil queen. And if you even think of laughing or pretending you don’t believe me I am going to stab you with a fork."
He’s facing you full on, now. Staring.
"Well?" you say. "What was yours?"
"...Magical pony adventure," he says finally.
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Anonymous asked: Two kids, very messed up from saving two very different fantasy worlds and then returning home where it's like it never happened, take comfort in each other.
Bookmarked by problemsloth
11 Feb 2024
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TT: Let’s get this show on the road.
TA: a/2/l?
TT: 23, male, rubbing my dick on you. You?
TA: you wouldn’t beliieve me, gender ii2 iirrelevant, haviing diick rubbed on.
TT: Now that the preliminaries are out of the way, woo me.
TA: ii put on my robe and wiizard hat.
TT: Roll for sex appeal.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,112
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 56
- Kudos:
- 448
- Bookmarks:
- 71
- Hits:
- 4,093
Bookmarked by problemsloth
10 Feb 2024
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Post-Pesterquest, Candy-timeline Dave and pre-game Dirk hang out.
Bookmarked by problemsloth
04 Feb 2024
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It's winter break of Rose and Dave's freshman year of college. Bro and Mom are getting divorced.
Bookmarked by problemsloth
04 Feb 2024
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If you ever see a shooting star... what would you wish for?
Bookmarked by problemsloth
04 Feb 2024
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Dirk, Dave, and the pivot points of their relationship after the Game.
Bookmarked by problemsloth
02 Feb 2024
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“Have you ever thought about punching me?”
Bookmarked by problemsloth
01 Feb 2024
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In an effort to prove he's not old, Bro goes to a house party. He meets the bro of his life.
Bookmarked by problemsloth
31 Jan 2024
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Sticky Fingers (idiom): The tendency to keep (or steal) an object you touch. Or a crude joke about hand jobs.
*Post-show spoilers* After Michael’s decision, Shawn pays him a visit.
Series
- Part 1 of The Redemption
Bookmarked by problemsloth
07 Jan 2024
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david; goliath by quixxotique (crownlessliestheking) for problemsloth
Fandoms: Homestuck
27 Dec 2023
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You don’t speak during this part, only ever guide him with gentle touches so he moves the way you need him to. You want to tell him he’s being good, how you barely need the strings at all to bend him to your will, but you don’t. It’s more difficult than you expected; at some point, you got used to praising him.
That’s because at some point, he got used to being good.
But puppets aren’t good. They just are.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,060
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 5
- Kudos:
- 43
- Bookmarks:
- 10
- Hits:
- 644
Bookmarked by problemsloth
28 Dec 2023
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what shall i tell you of migrations by quixxotique (crownlessliestheking) for Cinderlite
Fandoms: Homestuck
13 Nov 2023
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This time when he wakes, it’s with an ache in his chest and bone-deep knowledge of why, exactly there’s a flower on his pillow, whole and glistening with mucus and spit. It’s a long, sinuous thing in shades of red and orange, the type of flower that looks like it should be torn from a cluster instead. The taste it’s left in his mouth is fresh, green like a world he’s got a long, long way to go until he sees.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 55,846
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 3
- Kudos:
- 37
- Bookmarks:
- 12
- Hits:
- 768
Bookmarked by problemsloth
10 Dec 2023
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Dirk Caliborn-Strider, renowned family man and loving husband and father, discovers that his ectobiological relatives and in-laws have nowhere to go. In a bout of kindness, he welcomes them into his home.
[Image/art heavy.]
Bookmarked by problemsloth
30 Nov 2023
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TG: ((the place is lousy with robots))
TG: ((a lot of them are rusted and havent had maintenance in however many sweeps since the owner died or was conscripted whatever and the programming gets glitchy as fuck))
TG: ((could be doing anything i get attacked and strifed to within an inch of my life with very real blades that would kill me very real dead if i miss my swing and then suddenly the robot will whirr off and im left in a puddle of my sweat on the floor wondering what the fuck))
CG: SHIT, YEAH, THAT SOUNDS NERVE-WRACKING.
TG: ((and then the pizza drone will get a bad address and randomly drop me five of my favorite on the house))
CG: ... HUH.--
For this kink meme prompt:
So, seadweller!Bro sees lowblood!Dave and it's pity at first sight. Maybe he's using weird seadweller rituals or maybe he's just being his strange self to court Dave. Unfortunately, Dave has no idea why this finface is constantly in his business. Show me how they become moirails, please. ♦- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,197
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 148
- Kudos:
- 1,572
- Bookmarks:
- 417
- Hits:
- 17,485
Bookmarked by problemsloth
26 Nov 2023
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Evil Jane and Dave manage to revive Jade.
Jane decides there's a better choice to get a baby in her than Jake English, and he's going to regret calling her a hot mom (or maybe not).Bookmarked by problemsloth
19 Nov 2023
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... or, "In Which I Try To Write Fanfiction For A Character With Literally One Log".
Fill for the kinkmeme:
"because there's yet another character to play around with, and this one's not nice
so undyingUmbrage getting all his creep up on timaeusTestified
because you know how UU cheers? well uu jeers"
Bookmarked by problemsloth
16 Nov 2023
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La Petite Mort OR Kill Your Doppelgänger by fappaloosa for ghostlyAnarchist
Fandoms: Homestuck
12 Jul 2021
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Ultimate Dirk is in bed with his Official Bro Strider Body Pillow with a headache when one of his splinter selves dies, and he lets imagination take over while integrating the soul into his own.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,313
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1
- Kudos:
- 60
- Bookmarks:
- 6
- Hits:
- 945
Bookmarked by problemsloth
15 Nov 2023
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In which Bro lifts, and Cal watches.
And comments. -
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He sneers at you so hard he actually growls, and that fire is back in his eyes as he snatches up your hand. You expect him to crush your fingers in his grip, but he surprises you by folding his hand around yours and bringing it up to his lips. He's obviously flushed as he does it, but the damage it does to you is so much worse. You should have known better than to pick a fight with him you weren't prepared to lose. His vengeance is infinitely stronger than his shame, and the more you push him, the more stubborn he's going to get.
Bookmarked by problemsloth
26 Oct 2023
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Of course Dirk had known the house was haunted when he bought the place a few months ago. You don’t get a house this big in the center of Houston for this good of a price and have it not be haunted. But hell, cagey motherfucker that he was, Dirk had figured he’d probably be haunting the ghost just as much as the ghost was haunting him.
Sure as fuck knows he could use the company.
Bookmarked by problemsloth
25 Oct 2023