81 - 100 of 300 Bookmarks by problemsloth
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Dirk is here to replace a malfunctioning pressure sensor, lubricate the servos in Hal’s shoulders and wrists, install some new filters in his ventilation system, and run some diagnostics. He is not here to inspect the latest modifications to his kismeboyfriend’s body. He is not here to test the functionality of the newly-installed genital control system, or admire Equius’s advancements in the field of erectile elastomer bioengineering. He is, above all, not here to check out what Hal is packing.
He’s totally going to anyway.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,517
- Chapters:
- 1/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 8
- Kudos:
- 101
- Bookmarks:
- 11
- Hits:
- 1,282
Bookmarked by problemsloth
14 Oct 2023
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Your name is Jane Crocker and you have never been so happy! You are especially happy that Jake English is your boyfriend now, and that means you get to do enthusiastic and mutually pleasurable baby-making with him!
You are "sure" that the content warnings attached to this piece are only meant to lend an air of drama, and have nothing whatsoever to do with the actual events chronicled herein!
Series
- Part 1 of Fun With Jake and Jane
Bookmarked by problemsloth
12 Oct 2023
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After an acquisition, one of the greatest challenges is integrating employees into the company culture. There is commonly a difficult transition period, as everyone adjusts into their new roles and futures within the organizational structure.
Corporate leaders must be prepared to serve as guide and mentor.
And example.
Series
- Part 2 of Fun With Jake and Jane
Bookmarked by problemsloth
12 Oct 2023
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Your name is Dirk Strider, but everyone who called you that is dead, now. You go by Bro, and you're a vampire. And a single dad to the coolest kid in the world.
Dave's just brought his first friend home, finally trusting himself and you to keep your vampireness a secret.
You are really not good at this socialising thing.Series
- Part 1 of Hidden Bloodlines
Bookmarked by problemsloth
12 Oct 2023
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If you ever acquire narrative omniscience, for the love of god, don't broadcast your stomach-issues for everyone to hear.
Especially, if that small party of people includes your ex. That should be common sense, right? Double-points for stupidity if you're still not over him.
The mind games of two poor fools and everything stuck between them.
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this fic has fetish material, beware the tags !!Bookmarked by problemsloth
02 Oct 2023
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Like a good guardian, Bro Strider teaches the wonders of sex ed to Dave. After all, what better way to learn the entire thing than through first hand experience. Even if there's unexpected results...
Bookmarked by problemsloth
24 Sep 2023
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Karkat’s belly has gotten big lately, and his mutant bulge drives Sollux wild. If reproductive mutations were widely known and understood on Alternia, they might have noticed that Karkat’s bulge is an ovipositor, and he is about to lay. Since they are not, Karkat and Sollux discover this in the middle of lovemaking.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,142
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 15
- Kudos:
- 124
- Bookmarks:
- 17
- Hits:
- 1,865
Bookmarked by problemsloth
21 Sep 2023
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Post-canon, non-H2 world. Dave can’t chill the fuck out (PTSD, maybe) and Dirk is struggling to maintain relationships.
They have some really, really, kinky sex as a result. Go absolutely wild.
OK.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,930
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 33
- Kudos:
- 134
- Bookmarks:
- 23
- Hits:
- 2,539
Bookmarked by problemsloth
17 Sep 2023
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Equius has a lot of practice deliberately focusing on the details of his work in order to avoid being distracted by his STRONG attraction to the android at the heart of the project. Hal’s body is exquisite, a marvel of engineering beside which most advanced robotics look about as sophisticated as the clumsily riveted scrap metal constructs of his wigglerhood. If he hadn’t become extremely good at compartmentalizing, he’d never get anything done.
His current task, though, is testing him.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,115
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 9
- Kudos:
- 63
- Bookmarks:
- 8
- Hits:
- 833
Bookmarked by problemsloth
16 Sep 2023
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i hate myself just enough to let you fuck me by Edgelord (lostlikeme)
Fandoms: Homestuck
05 Aug 2023
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It’s 2005, and Dirk Strider is hiding from the rampant homophobia at his high school by pretending to be a girl on RuneScape for free loot. That’s where he meets Cal, who just might be doing the exact same thing. This is what happens when two incels collide and embark on a long-distance lesbian relationship.
UU: I CAN’T BE IN LESBIANS WITH YOu ANYMORE.
UU: BECAuSE.
UU: I’M A DuDE. A GuY.
UU: AND NOT SOME BETA CuCK EITHER.
UU: AN ACTuAL FuCKING REAL MAN.
UU: 100% ALL-MALE ALPHA.Bookmarked by problemsloth
04 Sep 2023
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In absolute honesty it at least starts with an accident. An accident and an illegal download and a lot of fucking around with new art mediums.
Bookmarked by problemsloth
26 Aug 2023
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Dirk shows Dave how to get the most out of masturbation.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,163
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 22
- Kudos:
- 310
- Bookmarks:
- 46
- Hits:
- 4,289
Bookmarked by problemsloth
19 Aug 2023
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This can't be real.
Because Dirk’s back in his old bedroom, back in his lonely tower in the middle of the ocean, and Dave Strider there, standing at the window, tapping on the glass to startle a seagull. It’s not the Dave that he’s come to know during the game and after; not the younger version of a ghost he’d never met. This is another Dave. A different Dave.
Bookmarked by problemsloth
12 Aug 2023
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“Seriously, he freaks me the fuck out. You know that.”
“C’mon, kiddo,” Bro slurs, propping Cal up on his lap like a ventriloquist dummy. Which he's not. You’ve checked. “He missed ya.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,829
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 8
- Kudos:
- 184
- Bookmarks:
- 17
- Hits:
- 2,102
Bookmarked by problemsloth
12 Aug 2023
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Surely the princess is in another castle.
Bookmarked by problemsloth
28 Jul 2023
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- Words:
- 5,626
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 11
Bookmarked by problemsloth
24 Jul 2023
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Summary
Dave pitches some dramatics while brooding over the cadaver of a slaughtered loved one.
OR: What kind of sick freak pops a boner over his bro’s corpse?
Series
- Part 6 of anon hs fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 905
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 21
- Kudos:
- 110
- Bookmarks:
- 10
- Hits:
- 1,205
Bookmarked by problemsloth
17 Jul 2023
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“Your personality is stuck in some sort of cantankerous prepubescent limbo. You are going to be a stunted, miserable tool forever.”
Your name is Caliborn, and you are the boy who never grew up.
Bookmarked by problemsloth
16 Jul 2023
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Summary
Davekat demonstuck fan comic
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 0
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 4
- Kudos:
- 60
- Bookmarks:
- 2
- Hits:
- 1,117
Bookmarked by problemsloth
15 Jul 2023
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Dirk is not as appreciative of Caliborn's GENIUS TUTORING METHODS as he should be.
Bookmarked by problemsloth
15 Jul 2023