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Chapter Text

Merlin had travelled a long time after what happened in Camlann and Avalon.

His mind had been a tornado too wild to stop, and his desire for peace and tranquillity had led him to wander throughout the lands of Albion, of the land that he and Arthur should have created, together. Of the united kingdoms that should have been brought to light.

His mind had calmed as Morgana's surviving forces were destroyed. His heart had healed as time passed.

His guilt had grown as time passed.

Merlin couldn't help but think that everything was wrong, so wrong. He had made many mistakes, many bad choices, many lapses along the way that had brought him inexorably to where he was at that moment.

Alone, far from home, without a home.

Ealdor could no longer be his home. How could it? He was no longer the simple country boy who had arrived in Camelot one day and darkened Gaius' doorstep, finally finding a father where until then he had only had a mother. He wasn't that person anymore. He had grown up, as he had once told Gaius. He had changed. Camelot had changed him. Killing had changed him. Fear had changed him.

Camelot could no longer be his home. How could it? How could he return to Camelot without Arthur by his side? How could he look Gwen in her eyes and tell her that her husband was dead? How could he look her in the eyes and tell her that everything they had done over the past ten years had been completely for nothing ? How could he ask her to trust him, after ten years of lying and deceptions?

How could he look at any of the inhabitants of Camelot, those who had welcomed him and made him feel like he belonged there, only to confess that he had abused their friendship and trust the entire time he had been there, and that he had brought their king and what should have been their princess to their death?

Merlin no longer had a home, and he continued to wander, the grass under his feet, the wind in his hair, and pain in his heart.

His gaze lifted to the sky.

He would wander the lands of Albion, always distant and never in one place. He would protect his friends from afar.

He had no home to return to.

Merlin looked down. 

What he would give to do it all over again.

Closing his eyes, the boy let the wind rush over him.

He deserved a break before starting to fight again.

Chapter Text

The path wound through the forest shrouded in fog, the sun's rays barely filtering through the foliage created plays of light and shadow on the moss-covered ground. The centuries-old trees with their twisted shapes were custodians of ancient secrets and legends.

The rustling of the wind among the leaves whispered ancient mysteries, while the singing of the birds added an atmosphere of enchantment and magic

The path, lined with majestic trees and wild shrubs, seemed to lead towards an unknown and adventurous destiny. The scent of damp earth and wildflowers mingled with a light fragrance of incense, evoking feelings of mystery and rebirth.

Occasionally, it was possible to glimpse breathtaking views of green valleys and misty hills through the thick foliage of the trees. There was an ancient energy in the air, full of potential and the promise of new beginnings.

The forest creatures seemed to peer with curious, intelligent eyes at anyone who ventured along the path, as if they knew of impending doom.

The magic of nature permeated the air, conveying a feeling of hope and adventure in a time of uncertainty and change.

The wind blew in the opposite direction for a moment, ruffling the hair of the young man who was walking on the clay path, a hesitant smile on a young face free of wrinkles or any worries.

His long dark hair fell softly to his shoulders, framing his face. His shoulders were straight and confident, exuding an aura of confidence and determination. His figure, slender and agile, moved with fluid, confident movements as he walked through the forest as if he were at home.

What sunlight filtered through the trees lightly illuminated his profile and created an atmosphere of mystery around him.

Finally, Merlin reached a clearing where the space between the trees allowed him to see what would be his new home.

Camelot Castle stood tall against the sky, its majestic towers standing like guardians of ancient glory. The grey stone walls rose with regal grandeur, reflecting the sun's rays

Merlin walked forward, taking in everything he saw with childish naivety. After all, Ealdor was a peaceful place, with few people, where the primary and only source of survival was agriculture.

Where there were no artisans, markets, blacksmiths, taverns and all those colours and people.

Where everyone had little and shared it; in Camelot this was not the case.

It was a city, a capital of a strong kingdom and that showed in all its citizens.

A gathered crowd caught his attention.

He walked towards it, taking note of all the details. Flags fluttered in the wind, the Pendragon crests painted in red on a white background, while the sound of trumpets and bells announced an important event taking place.

Paved courtyards showed the way to Merlin, who, with his heart beating, reached the main square right under the patio where a man was standing.

That's Uther Pendragon , Merlin told himself. That's the man who would kill me without a second thought if he knew what I was, what I could do .

For being the reason Merlin feared for his life, Uther Pendragon seemed like a normal king.

He was a middle-aged man, with a massive and powerful build, broad shoulders and an upright posture that communicated all his power. He wore royal and sumptuous clothing, with gold-embroidered cloaks and royal coats of arms.

He wore no armour, but Merlin could see that he wore chainmail beneath his clothing and his guards were ready to defend him should the need arise.

His face was marked by years of reign and battle, with deep lines running across his features. Uther's eyes were hard and piercing, reflecting his resolve and sense of duty to his kingdom. His expression was serious and severe. Despite his authority and power, Merlin could also see a hint of sadness in his eyes, anger, grief that has never passed.

Uther Pendragon was a mighty, resolute, regal and authoritative ruler, but Merlin could see a sadness lurking behind his determination.

He never expected to feel sad for the man who hunted his own kind.

Then, Uther Pendragon began to speak.

"Citizens of Camelot, today we face a time of great challenge and grave judgement. We have discovered a traitor in our midst, one who has dared to violate the sacred law of the kingdom and endanger the security and stability of Camelot.”

Merlin finally noticed the presence of a wooden platform. With the chill in his limbs, he realised that he was about to witness an execution.

A man was carried by two other guards, followed by an executioner.

“This man committed an unforgivable crime: he was guilty of magic. He dared to challenge the divine order of things, seeking to manipulate the arcane forces for his own selfish and evil purposes. There is no place for magic in our kingdom. It is an unnatural aberration, a dark force that threatens to corrupt the souls of men and throw our beloved Camelot into chaos. For this reason, we are here today to execute the law and ensure justice. This man, guilty of practising magic, must face the consequences of his actions. His execution will serve as a warning to all who dare to challenge the authority and law of the kingdom.”

Merlin felt himself freeze. Not only would he see a man die, but he would see a person who might have been himself die.

“We cannot allow magic to spread across our kingdom. We must protect Camelot and its inhabitants from the threat of magic, and that means acting with firmness and determination against those who dare practise it. May his death remind us of the sacredness of the law and the importance of protecting our kingdom from corruption and wickedness. May his death serve as a warning to all who dare to challenge the divine order of things.”

Uther raised his hand, and as he lowered it, the executioner lowered his axe.

Merlin gasped, feeling more than seeing the man's death.

“May the light of truth illuminate our path and guide us towards a future of peace and prosperity.” Uther finally said, smiling at the people. “And today we gather to celebrate the capture of the Great Dragon and the end of magic on our lands. Let the celebrations begin."

Merlin felt sick seeing the people cheer.

And then, amidst the shouts of exultation, a cry of pain.

The crowd gave way to a woman.

“There is only one plague on this earth, and that is you.” The woman spoke. “Your ignorance, and your arrogance… You took my son !”

Merlin felt his heart tighten at the woman's pain. She had lost her son because of Uther Pendragon's reign of terror.

"But I promise you, before the celebration reaches its end, you will share my pain. Tooth for tooth, eye for eye... son for son ." The woman looked at Uther Pendragon. Her eyes shone with madness, and Merlin could see why the people were afraid of her. Her skin was grey, her teeth cracked and yellow, her eyes sunken, and her hair long, white, and unkempt.

"Seize her." Uther ordered, and guards stepped forward to take the woman.

But without wasting time, she grabbed an amulet around her neck, uttered some incomprehensible words, and disappeared in a black whirlwind.

Merlin gasped as he felt death, pain and anger coming from the woman.

****

Trying to forget the episode he had just seen, even though the woman's pain and hatred continued to permeate Merlin's soul making him suffocate, Merlin began his search for his uncle.

His mother had said it was too dangerous for him in Ealdor. None of the rest of the village wanted to kill him or hand him over, but none of them wanted to lose their lives for him.

"We don't hate him, Hunith." A village woman had whispered, looking thoughtfully towards where Merlin was busy growing some herbs. "Your son is a good boy, but we will all be killed if he is discovered. Can you send him to the Druids, for safety?"

Hunith had told him. "As soon as you learn control, we will all be here for you, waiting for you. You are one of us. None of us hate you or want to see you dead, but we need to know that you will be safe."

Merlin thought that being sent to Camelot to learn control hadn't been his mother's best idea. Surely he could have asked a druid.

Gaius had remained in Camelot, after all. Hunith was gambling the man's true loyalty with Merlin's life.

Merlin just hoped his mother wasn't wrong.

"Sorry," Merlin asked a guard, trying to be as quiet and innocent as possible. "Do you know where I can find Gaius, the court doctor?"

The guard gave him directions, and Merlin thanked him.

Then he climbed the massive stone spiral stairs to a wooden door.

Gaius had guards at the door. Did Uther respect him that much?

Opening the door slightly to let his head through, Merlin asked. "Hello?"

Then, his gaze fell on the room.

The rooms of the court surgeon were quiet and peaceful.

It was clear that Merlin was in the room that served as his laboratory and study.

In the laboratory part, candles illuminated the space, illuminating work tables cluttered with aromatic herbs and boiling stills. The shelves were filled with jars and bottles containing remedies and potions of all kinds, while ancient medical books decorated the walls.

The study was in a corner, a more intimate and comfortable place furnished with padded armchairs and a solid wood desk.

Finally, there was a bed in the corner, with a screen that offered privacy from the rest of the room.

Throughout the rooms of the court surgeon, there was an atmosphere of calm and serenity, where the sick could find refuge and healing under the expert care of their curator.

Merlin knew a few things about healing.

His mother was the informal healer of their village, and Merlin had often taken note of her healing processes .

He had accepted this Camelot arrangement so he could study under Gaius and then return to Ealdor with control over his powers and the ability to offer healing and comfort to his fellow citizens.

His gaze fell on a small corridor beyond some spiral stairs, where a man on a ladder with his back turned was looking for books.

He had a long purple robe, and grey hair reached his shoulders.

"Um? Gaius?" Merlin called out to him.

The man turned, but as he did so he lost his balance.

Panicked, Merlin willed Gaius to stop, then moved his gaze around the room, searching for something to slow the man's fall.

His gaze fell back to the bed, which, with another thought, was moved directly beneath the older man.

Satisfied with all this, Merlin let time pass again.

"How did you do that?" The man, Gaius, stood up. He was looking at Merlin accusingly and with a hint of hysteria.

"Oh, I… I don't know,…" Merlin stammered.

"Don't lie to me, I know what it was." Gaius told him, narrowing his eyes at him. "Who taught you magic?"

"Nobody, I..."

"Where did you learn?" Gaius narrowed his eyes on him.

"Nobody taught me, I..."

"You are lying to me?"

"What do you want me to tell you?" Merlin asked, feeling tired and thinking that he would eventually be killed exactly ten minutes after reaching Camelot.

"The truth." Gaius replied, studying Merlin.

"I told you the truth!"

"Nonsense!" Gaius glanced again at the stairs, the hallway, and then at the bed. "Who are you?"

"Oh, I have a letter." Merlin replied, hoping that the letter would remind the man of the agreements he had made with his mother. He handed him the letter, with a relief sigh as soon as he found it.

"I don't have my glasses," Gaius replied.

"I'm Merlin." Merlin said.

"Hunith's son?" Gaius asked, a spark of recognition in his eyes.

"Yes!" Merlin nodded, cheerfully.

"But weren't you supposed to arrive on Wednesday?"

The smile froze on Merlin's face. "Today is Wednesday."

"Oh." Gaius was silent for a moment, before nodding and pointing to the stairs beyond the desk. "You can put your things over there."

"Thank you." Merlin smiled, walking, before turning and asking. "You won't tell anyone about..." The boy pointed to the bed and the corridor.

"No." Gaius reassured him. "Although," Merlin froze, looking at him and waiting for the other shoe to drop. "I should say thank you."

Merlin smiled. Thank him for using magic.

He had also helped the other kids at home, but none of them had ever thanked him. Indeed, he had been asked several times to refrain from practising magic until it was safer.

With a smile, Merlin climbed the stairs to the upper floor.

It was a new life. It would be better if he got used to it.

***

Hidden among the majestic mountain peaks was a lake, surrounded by wild, unspoiled beauty. Its transparent waters reflected the deep blue sky and white clouds hovering above, creating a magical reflection that seemed to stretch on forever.

The lakeshore was lined with grassy slopes and coniferous forests where towering trees reached toward the sky. The calm waters of the lake reflected the mountain peaks, creating a breathtaking landscape that captured the soul.

The lake was surrounded by an aura of mystery and tranquillity, with an atmosphere that invited contemplation and meditation. Here, in the mountains, time seemed to have stopped.

The gentle, soothing sound of flowing water echoed through the mountains, while the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves added a natural soundtrack to this idyllic mountain setting.

This lake was a sacred and magical place, where the soul could find refuge and renew itself in its simple and intact harmony.

And on the banks of this lake, with her feet immersed in the water, a woman was sitting.

This young woman was a vision of beauty and grace. Her skin was soft and delicate, like porcelain, and her face was shaped with soft, harmonious lines. She had deep, bright blue eyes that shone with intelligence and kindness, while her long black hair fell soft and flowing over her shoulders, framing her face with a cascade of silky locks.

Her smile was sweet, illuminating her face with a warm and welcoming light. Her lips were soft and plump, gently curving into her smile, adding a touch of charm and sensuality to her angelic appearance.

Her figure was slim and curvy, with delicate curves and proportionate.

This young woman was more than just physical beauty: she was a bright and positive presence, the goddess of the Lake itself. Arianrhod.

For destiny was not engraved in wrought iron.

And Arianrhod had no intention of making her youngest son suffer again.

A whisper, accompanied by a sweet smile and the boy would have been deaf to attempts to evoke distrust and fear in his destiny.

One answered prayer and the boy would never again lose his good heart or doubt his friends.

They would all get a second chance.

****

Tasked with delivering remedies to those who needed them, Merlin found himself passing through the outer courtyard where the training grounds made their appearance.

They stretched across a vast open terrain covered with a carpet of bright green grass.

The centre of the camp was dominated by a series of temporary structures, weapons and ways of training the people.

There were archery ranges, obstacle courses, and open spaces for hand-to-hand combat exercises. Here and there stood wooden targets and training dummies, used to simulate combat situations and test recruits' skills.

Despite the intense and focused atmosphere of the knight training camp, there was also a residual sense of camaraderie and solidarity among the recruits. They supported each other through the challenges and trials of training, forming bonds of friendship and respect that will accompany them throughout their military lives.

Merlin would have enjoyed the scene much more if he hadn't seen a poor boy being humiliated by knights.

Nobles . Merlin grimaced in disgust. They never change .

As he watched the scene, Merlin eyed the poor boy's tormentor.

He had blond hair that looked like the sun and blue eyes that reflected the sky. His square jaw, strong features and muscular build made him extremely attractive.

They were always the most beautiful ones who allowed themselves to be the most arrogant.

Merlin thought for a moment about turning him into a toad, to show him how many people would respect him with a different appearance.

But, since magic was illegal and that harmless prank would get his head chopped off, Merlin decided to take a more cautious route.

When the shield the boy was using as a target, the shield worn by the poor abused boy, Merlin stopped the boy from taking it, looking at the blond and saying. "That’s enough."

He turned as if he had never heard those words before. Looking at the arrogant expression, Merlin could very well believe it.

"Excuse me?"

"You had your fun, my friend."

He walked slowly until he was right in front of Merlin.

"Have we met before?" The blond asked, raising an eyebrow

"Ah, I'm Merlin." Merlin held out his hand, but he didn't take it. "So we don't know each other."

"No." Merlin confirmed.

“And yet you called me, my friend ?”

"It was my mistake." Merlin acknowledged.

"I think the same."

"I've never had a friend who was such an ass." Merlin said.

He laughed, but didn't let Merlin leave. “I hadn't one who was that stupid either.”

Merlin was genuinely surprised that the boy had friends, but he didn't have time to point it out, before the blond continued.

"Tell me, Merlin, can you walk on your knees?"

Merlin frowned. "No."

“Would you like me to help you?” He insisted.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Merlin warned. He wouldn't use his magic, but he would absolutely defend himself.

"And why?" He spread his arms. "Come on, what are you waiting for?" He taunted, "Move."

Merlin swung his arm, trying to punch him.

Obviously, the arrogant one blocked him without problems, twisting his arm around his back.

“I'll have you arrested for this.” The blond whispered in his ear.

"Who do you think you are, the king?" Merlin retorted.

An ironic laugh reached him. "No, I'm his son. Arthur ."

Well, Merlin thought, at least he had shown up in the end.

***

Merlin had had no idea that he had provoked the king's son, the second person he had been warned to stay away from.

The only good thing was that he had met Gwen, Lady Morgana's servant and a sweet and nice girl. She had extraordinary beauty and grace. She had soft skin, although her hands were calloused, indicative of her work as a servant.

Her eyes were large and bright, a warm, penetrating brown, reflecting an inner kindness and wisdom. Her long black hair fell flowingly past her shoulders, framing her face with soft, silky locks.

She was a good friend to have, Merlin realised that. And Merlin desperately needed friends.

The second encounter with the royal ass had gone marginally better. Arthur had thought it best to challenge him to a mace duel, and Merlin had had to use his magic to save his own life.

At least, Merlin thought, Arthur had redeemed himself in the end by letting him go, rewarding his courage, but pointing out his idiocy.

The conversation that had followed with Gaius had made Merlin feel like a monster. If he couldn't use magic, who was Merlin ? He was a nobody. He was not a healer, not a friend. Merlin was magic, and without it, he might as well die.

Now, after the emotional ordeals of the day before, Merlin was forced to stand, along with the servants, instead of sitting to appreciate the festivities.

Of course, Merlin wouldn't have wanted to celebrate twenty years since his life had been declared outlawed.

But, in addition to having to witness the joy of people at a murder, Merlin had to do it standing up and with a direct view towards the royal sucker and his father.

At least, Merlin thought, even Lady Morgana seemed as disgusted as Merlin himself was.

Then, the chatter died down and everyone's attention flew to the opposite side of the room, where Lady Helena would offer a song to culminate the celebrations.

She had been beautiful even in rather simple clothes, but now, dressed in yellow and with an intricate hairdo, Merlin felt that at least one thing might be pleasant about the whole situation.

When Lady Helena began to sing, however, Merlin felt the call of home. As if an old friend was welcoming him with their native language.

But she was not speaking the language of Essetir, nor even the dialect spoken in Ealdor.

It was more intimate, it was a speech closer to the heart, as if the woman was tugging at Merlin's heartstrings and showing him the truth.

Magic. Those were words of magic, and Merlin was understanding them all.

" In quiet and peace, I gently envelop you,

With sounds of serenity and enchanting calm.

The heavy eyelids slowly close,

And deep sleep wraps you like a blanket.

Sleep, sleep, under the starry sky,

Until dawn, rest peacefully. "

Lady Helena's voice was hypnotic and reassuring, the voice of a worried mother.

As the woman advanced between the set tables, Merlin could see the way the guests fell asleep, the cobwebs quickly covering them and the lights going out.

Stopping under a large chandelier, Lady Helena produced a dagger, raising it and glaring wildly at Arthur.

Without thinking, Merlin just wanted to stop her. A flash of gold in his eyes, and the chandelier fell on the woman, stopping her spell.

Merlin watched as people woke up, shaking off the cobwebs.

Uther and his son stood up to see Lady Helena under the chandelier.

When the woman raised her head, Merlin recognized with a start the woman who had mourned her son. And promised the same pain to Uther Pendragon.

Indeed, without hesitation, without mercy, the woman threw the dagger at Arthur.

Without thinking, without hesitating, Merlin slowed her throw, ran over and grabbed Arthur's cloak, knocking them both to the ground.

The woman died when her attempt failed.

Embarrassed, Merlin stood up, faced with Arthur's shocked gaze and Uther's grateful gaze.

It had caught their attention at the same time. Exactly what he should never have done.

"You saved my son's life." Uther told him, looking at him. "Debts must be paid."

"You must not, sire." Merlin denied, looking for a way to escape.

"Ah, of course. You will be rewarded." Uther continued.

Uther was probably a good king when magic wasn't involved.

"You will serve as the royal footman. You will be Prince Arthur's servant." Uther announced, losing any points he still had in Merlin's ledger. Then, he turned to celebrate the success with the assembled people.

Arthur protested. " Father !"

And, in a moment of mutual understanding, both boys looked at each other with a grimace and then turned away.

***

Without destiny, Arianrhod reflected, Merlin was himself.

A good boy, ready to do everything for his friends and those he loved.

Even if he didn't really know them yet.

Chapter Text

It was a very different Merlin who crossed the threshold of Camelot after Camlann.

He was a mature young man with an air of wisdom and determination. His face was strong and resolute, with lines of expression that reflected his experiences and emotional burdens.

His blue eyes were bright and piercing, reflecting his intelligence and commitment to his destiny. Merlin's gaze was fixed and focused, with a firm determination shining through his blue eyes.

His black hair fell soft and flowing around his face, adding a touch of mystery and charm to his appearance. While his dark hair may have been a little messy, it reflected his active lifestyle.

Merlin wore his simple practical clothes: the blue tunic and brown jacket, with the same colour trousers and his old boots, a gift he received a long time ago, before all the pain and all the suffering. 

Overall, he had the appearance of a man that was mature and determined, who had suffered a lot and learned even more during his life, ready to do anything to protect those he loved and well aware of the results if that intention failed.

And it was under the gaze of a benevolent and suffering goddess that Merlin walked.

A golden light, a sense of calm and serenity around her. Her eyes shone with wisdom and understanding, her smile was gentle and reassuring, and her face was radiant and luminous.

Arianrhod watched Merlin advance with grace and dignity unseen, offering him a look of understanding and compassion.

She wanted to offer him the same comfort she was offering to his past self, but only when the past and present collided could the future arrive.

With delicate and caressing gestures, Arianrhod offered Merlin her support and guidance, encouraging him to persevere through his challenges and believe in himself. Her presence, her benediction, was like a bright light in a darkness, illuminating Merlin's path and giving strength to his spirit.

And, driven by Arianrhod's hope and trust, Merlin felt ready to face the friends he had left.

“Merlin.” 

The sorcerer stopped, watching his old friend approach.

Of all his friends, Leon was one of the ones he had known the longest, right after Lancelot, Arthur and Gwen, and with whom he had spent a great deal of time.

After months apart, however, Merlin could see how Leon had also changed since the first time they had seen each other.

His face was marked by years of service and experiences, with lines of expression that reflected his wisdom and courage.

His eyes were bright and piercing, reflecting his determination to serve the queen and protect Camelot. Leon's gaze was fierce and resolute, with an intensity that conveyed his dedication to his duty and his honour.

Leon wore the armour of the Knights of the Round Table with pride, showing his commitment to the defence of the kingdom and to justice.

His stature was imposing and regal, with a presence that radiated authority and respect. His voice was deep and confident, with a tone that suggested confidence and determination.

However, behind his knightly posture, Merlin recognized his own feelings reflected in that look.

The look of a person who was still mourning his friends. The pain, the fear, the anger, the desolation. The loneliness.

“Leon.” Merlin greeted him, bowing his head.

In a few steps, Leon was in front of him, holding him in a tight hug. “We feared… that you were dead as well. When you didn't come back...”

Merlin felt his heart tighten. Part of him would have preferred that.

After crying, after praying, after promising a life for a life, Merlin had given up on going back alone, without Arthur.

He would have preferred not to have to live without his friend.

"No." Merlin sighed. "It’s just…"

“Too painful.” Leon smiled painfully. “I know, believe me . But I'm glad you're here, Merlin. I missed you, we all missed you. It wasn’t the same without you."

“I… Leon, I saw Percival… He told me that Gwaine is…”

Merlin couldn't speak. His friend's relaxed and joyful face appeared before his eyes. His laugh, his smile, his humour. His everything.

“I'm sorry, Merlin.” Leon murmured. "I'm so sorry."

Merlin accepted the hug Leon offered.

“At least you're not alone now.”

Merlin rested his head on his old friend's shoulder.

At least he wasn't alone now.

***

The throne room was much darker than Merlin remembered it.

Or perhaps, Merlin mused, it was because it was the first time he had seen it without the golden presence of Arthur.

“Merlin.”

Gwen looked many years older than last time Merlin saw her, before losing his magic and before leaving Camelot with Gwaine, her face still kind and open, but now hard and tense.

“Oh, you came back home .”

Without hesitation, Gwen pulled Merlin into a tight hug.

“I'm sorry I was gone so long.” Merlin whispered, before tucking his face into the crook of Gwen's shoulder and crying. “Gwen, he's dead. I couldn't save him. Forgive me, please."

Gwen ran a hand through his hair, humming peacefully. “I never blamed you. And I'm sure he didn't either. He was with his best friend until his very end. I can say that, at least, he died happy."

"Forgive me." Merlin whispered, breathing in the lavender and jasmine scent of his oldest friend in Camelot.

“I have nothing to forgive you for, Merlin.” Gwen whispered, holding her friend even tighter. “You didn't do anything wrong.”

Clenched in the arms of his sister in all but blood, Merlin continued to cry.

***

Arianrhod had a sweet smile on her face.

The road to peace was long and uphill, but Merlin had friends he could count on.

In one world and in the other.

***

“I know this is hard for you.” Gwen had said. “For as long as you can remember Camelot, it was with Arthur here. Everywhere.”

Merlin nodded, glancing over to the training ground, where Leon and Percival were training the recruits. That had been Arthur’s job. It was always so hard forcing him to get up from his bed. To dress himself. Merlin missed those days.

“If I had told him sooner…” Merlin murmured. “I blame myself for their fate, Gwen. Of Arthur and Morgana, both.”

Gwen sighed. Even in her exhaustion, she was a true queen. Merlin smiled at her wearily, and then listened to her judgement.

“Maybe Morgana wouldn't have turned on you, but Merlin.” Gwen sighed. “Even before you poisoned her-” Merlin grimaced as he remembered his mistake. “-Morgana had already fought against Camelot. She had tried to kill Uther when my father was killed. And then she had let Morgause talk her into hurting us all. She couldn't really believe that Arthur wouldn't be hurt, or that I wouldn't be hurt. Not to mention you . We both knew she had magic, and neither of us ever backed down. You gave her support .” Gwen said, speaking firmly. 

“Which is more than you received. Gaius talked to me, about the things you did, the things he asked from you. You used magic to save Uther , Merlin. You killed your own people to protect Arthur. Morgana had an offer and she let herself be bribed, she didn't fight . As I understand it, Nimueh, Morgause, Sigan… all of them offered you a place at their side. They offered you rewards.”

Merlin snorted. “I could never betray Arthur.”

"I know." Gwen smiled. “That wasn't a question that Morgana had asked herself.”

Merlin looked away. “And Arthur?”

Gwen smiled sadly. “Once, he mentioned to me that maybe he was wrong about magic.” Gwen confessed, and Merlin felt himself freeze. “And he said he didn't dare talk about it with you because he was afraid that you would retreat, be scared, and not be able to accept that magic wasn't that bad.”

“He was afraid that I would react badly?” Merlin asked, feeling cold inside himself.“I really ruined everything , didn’t I?” he sighed. "I always thought I could make him see the beauty of magic, but if he got to the point of having his doubts and not telling me about them..."

"He thought you were afraid of it." Gwen said. “Neither of us has forgotten Will and the sacrifice he made to save Arthur.” The queen swallowed. "Arthur remembered that you had a sorcerer friend and that you had saved druids. He just feared that staying too long in Camelot had turned you into someone who feared magic."

"Like Morgana." Merlin swallowed a lump in his throat that was hard to clear.

"Exactly." Gwen nodded. “He also feared that if he showed you his doubts about magic, you might fear that he had been enchanted.”

“Because he was never enchanted, right?” Merlin murmured, sceptical. "It would have been nice, knowing he didn't hate who I was. "

Gwen squeezed his arm. "Merlin, Arthur loved you like a brother . Nothing you could have done would ever make Arthur hate you. All the words he said against magic, were words spoken by someone who didn't know his brother's secret ."

Merlin smiled, his eyes shining. "Thanks, Gwen."

"There's no need to thank me." Gwen smiled. "You already have Arthur's mother's seal, might as well make it formal ."

Merlin looked down. He wished Arthur was there with them. Lancelot, Gwaine, Elyan. They should all have been there. None of them deserved to die. And, if Merlin had helped Morgana, none of them would have been dead.

Gwen knew him too well, or maybe Merlin was too easy to read, but she looked at him with tears in her brown eyes.

"It's not your fault, Merlin." Gwen whispered. "Morgana enchanted the sword, Mordred slew his king. You never betrayed him."

"I know." Merlin murmured. "But I was the one who pushed Morgana into Morgause's arms and Mordred into Morgana's."

"You were hurt by Arthur too, not to mention Uther and everything he did, against you and people like you."

Gwen told him, speaking in a firm voice. "You never wavered in your goodness and loyalty to Arthur and all of us. You made a choice , as did Morgana and Mordred. You lost Will and Lancelot to save Arthur's life, as Mordred lost Kara. He chose to kill him, you to protect him. You didn't create the two of them.

“I could have helped them.” Merlin insisted.

A part of him felt healed by the confidence in Gwen's voice. A part of him felt forgiven and accepted, and, along with Arthur's words, it was healing old scars that still hurted.

But the other part of him knew Gwen didn't have the full picture.

Merlin couldn't accept her leniency because Gwen didn't know what they were really talking about. She didn't know what had really happened with Morgana and the poison, she had just a vague image in her head. She didn't know that Mordred had asked Merlin to trust him or that he and Kara would have run away.

Maybe they would have gone to Morgana or maybe Mordred had really just wanted to save his beloved and run away, away from the Pendragons, Camelot, and everything that could harm them.

Morgana wouldn't have known who Emrys really was, and Merlin shouldn't have left Arthur, putting them all in danger, and most importantly, he wouldn't have let all their friends die.

If he hadn't betrayed Morgana in the beginning, Morgause wouldn't have been able to corrupt her.

"Merlin…" Gwen sighed, reaching out and clasping Merlin's hand in her own. "I spoke to Gaius, he told me about what happened. About Dragoon-" Gwen's lips twitched in amusement as she remembered the first time Merlin had impersonated the old wizard. "-about the Dolma-" now Gwen's eyes were sparkling too. The thought of the old man disguised as a woman was incredibly funny. Merlin smiled slightly too. "-and about what happened before Morgana's kidnapping. Merlin, she was already working with Morgause. And you hadn't betrayed her, on the contrary. You were supportive ."

Merlin looked at her with wide eyes.

" It's not your fault ." Gwen said. "And you do yourself a disservice if you now blame yourself for their actions. You are better than them, because despite all the pain you felt, your loyalty and good heart never wavered."

Merlin smiled. "Thank you, Gwen. You're a good friend."

Gwen smiled back. "Go and rest. There is someone who can't wait to hug you again."

***

The path to the tower of the court surgeon's rooms was exactly as Merlin remembered it, yet so different.

There would be no Arthur bursting into the rooms looking for him in anger at his absence, usually excused with a trip to the tavern, and then no subsequent punishment.

There would be no Arthur at all, and Merlin's heart ached at the thought.

He wished he had been more honest with him. He wished that he told him who he really was, who they were to each other.

Hearing from Gwen that Arthur saw him as a brother , that he had had doubts about magic and that he had been afraid of Merlin 's reaction to the news...

It had broken the boy's heart.

How could he have been so wrong ?

Merlin's musings were interrupted by a sigh of relief and then a surprisingly strong pair of arms around his torso.

"My dear boy." Gaius whispered in Merlin's ear. "You came back home."

" I miss him ." Merlin murmured.

He had already mourned Arthur's death, he had already buried his friend and he had already despaired of the cursed fate that had deceived them both.

Now, only a deep void remained in his soul, and Merlin had no idea how he would ever fill it.

"I know." Gaius whispered. "I know, my boy."

And held tightly in his mentor's arms, Merlin began to cry again.

Chapter Text

A Knight of Camelot is no ordinary warrior. A Knight of Camelot is a man who has been seen as capable of great feats, a man of good heart and great strength and courage. A noble man.

To prove their worth, tournaments for knights demonstrate their many qualities, both in terms of skill and moral values.

Merlin snorted aloud and glanced at Gwen, who was sitting next to him in Morgana's rooms, Merlin's refuge when he had no intention of training with the royal donkey.

"Really? Can they be more self-centred than that?” Merlin snorted again, making his friend twitch her lips in amusement. “A man seen as capable of great feats? What are they, wearing armour? Have a servant there to clean it? Good heart, strength and courage? They didn't do anything! They get taken by the nobility! What's good-hearted about that?” Merlin growled. “Useless decorated suckers.”

“I see you're reading a book about the tournament.” Morgana's amused voice reached him. “Arthur can't stop describing how he's going to win, and now I really hope he loses.”

Merlin groaned. “If he lost, he would be horrible to me . I can't stand him now , let alone if his mood gets worse .”

Morgana laughed, a soft, melodic sound. “Yes, I can imagine how annoying it would be in the long run.” Then, without hesitation, she sat on the floor between the two servants, taking the book from Merlin's hands and closing it. “Don't read these books. They are written by knights for other knights, and therefore they are very biassed.”

“I realised that.” Merlin muttered grumpily.

“Did Gwen tell you how to put armour on Arthur?” Morgana asked, glancing at her servant, who nodded. 

“Merlin was able to repeat it perfectly. I even showed him how to clean and polish it, so I hope Arthur doesn't kill him."

“I really can't believe you're going to have to marry him.” Merlin grimaced in disgust. “I'm so sorry for you.”

Morgana giggled. “At least he's good looking. It makes his personality quite bearable.”

"No it does not." Merlin murmured.

“Now, I'll tell you what you need to know about tournaments.” Morgana said. “Although the words were very… presumptuous, there is nothing false in the words of the book. Tournaments are used to measure a person's fighting skills and morality. Of course, it doesn't matter how moral or honest a knight is. Losing a fight with morality or winning it with petty actions have two weights, and certain victory is preferred. A true knight should be good, honest, loyal, courageous and skillful. Unfortunately, almost no one has the first two qualities, some of them have none of them. They don't help win a war." Morgana grimaced, very likely reminded of her father who had died in a war in Uther's name.

Merlin and Gwen gave her a moment to remember the man she loved and respected.

Morgana gave them a grateful smile, before starting to explain. “Obviously, combat ability is valued. Proficiency, seeing their skills in one of the typical fights: hand-to-hand, sword, spear, bow and arrow, mainly. Dexterity and agility are included as a consequence. The ability to manoeuvre quickly and accurately is crucial. And, of course, physical strength is an important factor, as knights must be able to sustain long battles and handle heavy weapons.” Morgana shook her head. “Courage and audacity are also tested in this case. Participating in a tournament requires a lot of courage, as there is always the risk of serious injury or even death.”

"Wait." Merlin interrupted her. “Can people die in this tournament?”

Morgana nodded. "Obviously. They simulate real fights. It's not intended to go to the point of death, but some injuries can be fatal.”

“Why would anyone want to fight in these games?” Merlin asked in amazement.

“Glory, honour and the prize money.” Morgana said. “And, obviously, knights are used to these types of risks.”

“Why would anyone want to be a knight, then?” Merlin retorted.

Morgana giggled. “I haven't the slightest idea.” She replied cheerfully, before saying. "Let's continue. Knights must also demonstrate an iron will to fight and win, despite difficulties and dangers. And of course, their honour and loyalty is tested. Tournaments are opportunities to demonstrate respect for the code of chivalry, which includes honour, loyalty and respect for opponents. Acting justly and honourably is essential. Knights must show that they respect the rules of the tournament and treat their opponents with all the dignity they deserve.”

“By killing them.” Merlin murmured.

“People rarely die in a tournament.” Morgana said. “Ever since Arthur began competing, Uther has made the punishment for killing someone more severe. Don't worry, the only deaths that occur are unavoidable accidents.”

“I still don't see the appeal of being prodded with a sword, and perhaps killed.” Merlin murmured.

“Winning in tournaments increases a knight's prestige, improving his social position and influence. Furthermore, they are public events and attract a lot of attention. Knights have the opportunity to showcase their charisma and ability to inspire and lead others.”

“And to find some sweet ladies to woo.” Gwen interjected, smiling at Morgana.

“Uther said the winner will have money and the pleasure of escorting me to the ceremony feast.” Morgana explained to Merlin's confused look.

“Wow, that's incredibly disrespectful.” Merlin murmured. “I can't even believe how disrespectful this is. For you and all the court ladies who are used in this way.”

Morgana and Gwen smiled at each other.

“You see, you would make an excellent knight.” Morgana announced. “The values ​​are there.”

“Yes, but unlike them, I am intelligent.” Merlin replied. “Besides, wouldn't I have to be a noble? Arthur keeps complaining about it.”

“Yes, they are all nobles, but an incredible feat receives any reward, such as being knighted.” Morgana explained. “You saved Arthur's life, technically, you could ask for this reward.”

“No, I didn't want to be his servant either.” Merlin protested. “I grew up in a small town on the border of Cenred's kingdom and I know how nobles treat people from lower social classes. I know how quickly they throw them away when they are no longer needed.”

“Arthur is not like that.” Morgana said.

"The first time I saw him," Merlin said, "he was taunting a servant, making him run and throwing daggers at him."

"Arthur is the best shot there is." Morgana said. "He wouldn't have hurt the servant."

"He scared him!" Merlin exclaimed. "He was mocking a person just because he wasn't noble. He abused his power over him! How come it is accepted? In Ealdor, he couldn't have done that. We have no kings or princes there. It's just us." Merlin swallowed. "Only us, and when the nobles come, we are no safer than when the bandits come."

Morgana sighed and Gwen looked at him scared and worried.

"Arthur proved nothing to me. He treated me like less than air, without respect or consideration, gave me a list of tasks to do without any introduction to the job, as if it were my fault for saving his life." Merlin shook his head. “Until I am proven otherwise, I will not think of him in any positive way.”

"And, I imagine, you won't risk it to save his life." Morgana murmured.

"That's the knights' job, isn't it?" Merlin asked rhetorically. "Along with getting killed in tournaments for glory and beautiful girls, apparently. Nobles, too." Merlin shook his head. "Gwen spoke well of you, Morgana. You are kind to me, you have shown me that you are different. You are an exception, for now."

"I accept it." Morgana nodded. "Arthur is Uther's son, so I accept your reservation in this case."

"Not wanting to save his life at all costs doesn't mean I would let him die or kill him, obviously." Merlin clarified. “But I might choke him with food next time he complains about the order of the plate.”

Gwen and Morgana laughed.

Merlin smiled at them.

It was good to be home.

****

The tournament wasn't as bad as Merlin had feared.

He still thought it was incredibly stupid and unwise to risk so much (one's life) just to have a dance with a person who would never look at them again. And some money.

But, safe from the sidelines, Merlin could appreciate the skill some of them possessed.

Especially Arthur. Merlin had heard that he was the greatest warrior in all of Camelot and the Five Kingdoms, but those were the same as tall tales told to keep children attentive and inspire others to do better.

Everyone wanted to be better than the tale of the heroic prince.

Merlin was starting to think that maybe it wasn't a fairy tale, but the truth.

He remained, of course, an arrogant, spoiled, royal ass. But he was an arrogant, spoiled, royal ass who could fight very well.

He wasn't the only one, Merlin noticed. The knight named Valiant was also rapidly defeating all his challengers.

The crowd seemed to love him, and Merlin knew from Gwen that Morgana was enjoying making Arthur jealous by speaking well of the knight.

But, honestly, Merlin couldn't appreciate it. He didn't see any good qualities in him, and there was something about him that seemed… strange, out of place. As if his person had something that didn't really belong to him.

“It's just nervousness.” Gwen told him, smiling sweetly at him. “You appreciate Arthur and obviously he doesn't appreciate Valiant. So, you react accordingly.”

“I'm not a dog.” Merlin grimaced. “I'm not reacting to Arthur's feelings, okay? He… said that Valiant fights very well, and that he would be happy to offer him a place in his ranks should he decide to stay. And he was in his chambers, not keeping up appearances for the good of the kingdom.” Merlin was quick to say. “He is also sure to beat him and I know he will, he just fights better.” Ignoring Gwen's smirk, Merlin continued. “I'm just saying there's something about him that doesn't convince me, okay? That's all."

Gwen smiled. “Ah, Merlin, let me tell you something.” In a conspiratorial whisper, she said. “We are servants, so no one notices us. Morgana and Arthur are the only ones who see us as more than servants.” Gwen stopped Merlin's protests with a hand. “You can say what you want about Arthur, and maybe you're right about his behaviour with Morris, but you're different. And Arthur proves it. You are different from him.”

"All right." Merlin grumbled, swallowing his protest about Arthur and how he was absolutely nothing like him. “Okay, you were convincing. What were you saying about the servants and superpowers of invisibility?”

Gwen raised an eyebrow at him, but said. “Being a servant, no one will notice if you enter and exit the armoury, or enter and exit a noble's rooms. You can… enter and exit wherever you want.”

Merlin smiled. “Are you saying I should go spy on Valiant?”

“I'm saying,” Gwen corrected him, glaring at him sternly. “that if you are so worried about Arthur, you can go and investigate the matter and ease your worries.”

"Obviously." Merlin nodded. “No one is spying on anyone.”

"Well." Gwen nodded. “And, for your information, I'm telling Morgana that you've become protective of Arthur over the course of two days.”

“It's at least two and a half days.” Merlin muttered grumpily.

"My mistake."

***

In Merlin's defence, he didn't go and spy on Valiant right away.

Gwen's words about projection and wanting to protect Arthur had made Merlin reflect. He had studied the prince better and realised that, beneath his elegance and his royal and noble attitude, there was a boy extremely annoyed by this adversary who had enchanted his father and Morgana without even trying.

Merlin might have told him that Morgana was just teasing him, but honestly, he didn't want to make Morgana angry.

When asked by Arthur, when the prince had shown his insecurities and asked him who he thought should fight Arthur himself in the final, he had answered with a shrug.

“It seems that, out of everyone else, Valiant is the most competent with the sword. Of course, he lacks all the other qualities you've demonstrated you possess. Plus, he's not that skilled.” Merlin said. “It doesn't look like there will be that much of a challenge, all things considered, sire. You could have really listened to me when I said how many people die in these damn tournaments.”

Arthur had smiled, a real and open smile, bright enough to make Merlin stop for a moment, and had commented. “At least you read the books I provided. Well done."

So taking note of this and realising that his resentment towards Valiant had increased when he saw Arthur's insecurity, Merlin let it go.

Now, staring at Ewan's body, he wished he hadn't.

“There were no snakes in the arena, and what fight ended in a snake bite?” Merlin said, looking at Gaius. “The only way is Valiant's shield. It has snakes.”

"Painted snakes." Gaius commented.

“There is magic, Gaius." Merlin murmured. "He may have charmed snakes, though he doesn't look like a wizard, he doesn't feel…."

Gaius blinked. “Do you sense magic, boy?”

"Yes." Merlin nodded. "It feels like the call of home, and I feel the emotions behind the spells very well… Valiant is strange! He has something that calls me and the rest that repels me. I don't think he has magic, but he's definitely using it."

Gaius looked at him, before saying. "Prove it."

And, of course, Merlin did.

He took Gwen's suggestion to heart and entered the armoury where Valiant's belongings had been left.

As he approached the shield, he heard a hiss. Which came from the same shield. Probably, Merlin mused, the shield's magic was reacting to his.

" Tair chugam ." Merlin whispered, letting his magic work. Letting his words, come to me , call the snakes to life.

One of those snakes emerged from the shield, a serpent exactly as the reproduction depicted it.

Without hesitation, without thinking, Merlin took a sword and cut the snake's neck.

In retrospect, he would reflect on how, with that single action, he had just demonstrated that he was perfectly capable of putting himself in danger for a complete stranger. And that there was no way he would have let Arthur die instead without getting involved first.

At that moment, however, Merlin was too busy preventing the death of an innocent man.

“Merlin, you were incredibly brave.” Gaius praised him.

Merlin allowed himself to smile. Now he just had to show Arthur the truth.

***

“Valiant is using magic.” Merlin announced, entering Arthur's chambers without knocking.

Arthur sighed, used to Merlin's habits of going in and out of his rooms by now. “Merlin, you cannot accuse a knight of such a charge. My father would have you killed if he knew you offended the knights like this.”

“Okay, first of all, Valiant is not a knight, just a noble.” Merlin was keen to point out. "Secondly, I have come to warn you that Valiant is using magic. I am warning you so that you are not in any danger. Is that so absurd to think?"

"Merlin…" Arthur sighed, but Merlin held out the snake's head. "It came out of Valiant's shield. Gaius is now preparing the antidote for Sir Ewan, who has a snakebite mark after a swordfight. I'm no expert, but it seems strange and suspicious to me."

Arthur looked at him, before saying. "Swear to me you're telling me the truth."

"I swear." Merlin said. "I would never lie to you."

"I believe you." Arthur said.

Merlin smiled. "Thank you."

Arthur sighed. "We will need Ewan's testimony regarding Valiant and his use of magic."

"We can't involve him now." Merlin argued. "Valiant could finish the job and kill Ewan. No, we have to expose him."

"What are you going to do?" Arthur asked.

"Show your father Valiant use magic, away from a fight, preferably." Merlin said. "Once that's done, Valiant won't be a threat."

"That's…very smart of you." Arthur said.

"If Valiant killed Ewan, you would lose your only piece of evidence by bringing the case before the king. We cannot allow Valiant to question your honour when he has none."

Arthur blinked, staring at Merlin. "Thank you. I… appreciate it very much. You are a good servant."

“I aim to please.” Merlin said, with a smile.

***

Merlin's plan had worked perfectly, because Merlin was a genius.

And Uther doted on Morgana - almost depressingly so.

Now, on one side of the throne room, decorated for receptions and celebrations, Merlin and Gwen watched Morgana and Arthur advance side by side.

“The two heroes of the day.” Gwen said. “They're a really nice couple.”

“Morgana can do better.” Merlin replied, smiling kindly when a knight with long, almost curly hair turned to look at him. “Definitely better.”

“Merlin, you saved his life.” Gwen said. “Don't think I'm buying the story that you don't trust him now.”

“Okay, he proved to me that it's not that bad.” Merlin admitted. “But it was just a coincidence. I will never save his life again.”

Chapter Text

Merlin entered a room he had never visited before.

After the death of Arthur's mother, Merlin was sure that these rooms had been sealed to prevent anyone from accidentally stumbling into them. From what he had heard from other servants, when Uther had fallen ill, Arthur had ordered that his mother's belongings contained in her personal chambers be moved to his father's chambers to provide some kind of comfort to the man in his state of pain.

A kind and thoughtful move, worthy of the king Arthur would become.

Gwen had taken possession of the rooms while under the influence of Morgana's black magic (using her mourning for the loss of her brother, the last member of her family, as an excuse) and continued to use them in moments when Arthur was not in Camelot.

The rooms reflected the queen's regal status.

The floors were covered with intricate carpets and the walls were decorated with elaborate tapestries that told stories of knights and battles or scenes of hunting and nature. On one side, covered by a finely crafted and decorated wooden divider, an impressive four-poster bed made its appearance.

Lighting was provided by brass or gold candelabras and oil lamps. This light created a warm and welcoming atmosphere, with a soft glow that highlighted the decor. Additionally, large stained glass windows allowed daylight to filter in, adding a touch of natural brightness and vibrant colours to the space.

A large fireplace, decorated with sculptures or family crests, provided warmth during the cold months and was a focal point in the room.

Curtains and draperies of velvet, silk and brocade, used for both the bed and the windows, gave a sense of luxury and opulence.

Dark wood furniture, inlaid with intricate patterns and decorated with gold details, included tables, chairs and chests to hold personal effects.

Unlike Arthur's chambers, Merlin noted, the queen's chambers featured a dressing table with a mirror, where her jewellery, combs, and other personal accessories were kept. The mirror was framed in finely crafted and gilded wood.

On one wall, a small pile of books appeared. Quickly reading the titles, Merlin recognized that they were both general fiction books, a taste that Gwen had always had and which they had discussed many times at great length, and books about the noble families of Camelot and the history of the kingdom, a sign that Gwen had put a lot of effort into her quest to be a worthy queen.

Merlin gulped. It was so different and yet so similar to Arthur's chambers that it made him want to hide and run away once again.

"I couldn't keep sleeping in Arthur's chambers," Gwen murmured, reaching Merlin and hugging him quickly.

“I miss him.” Merlin said, his voice suddenly low and hurt. “I miss him so much. Everything is different now.”

“It is.” Gwen nodded, her eyes tearful when Merlin looked at her. “But he wouldn't want us to suffer.”

“No.” Merlin gulped. “But that doesn't make anything easier.”

“I know.” Gwen sighed. “I can barely manage to enter the throne room without him.”

"I know." Merlin nodded. “I couldn't even enter Gaius's chambers, knowing that he would no longer come screaming and telling me to hurry up.”

“A king who goes to wake up his servant.” Gwen giggled, even if her eyes still had some tears in them.

"It's not my fault." Merlin defended himself, chuckling even if he didn't want to. “Arthur never helped me understand how to fulfil my role as a servant and I received no education. So I don't take any blame for that."

Gwen laughed before leading Merlin to one of the tables, where Leon and Percival were already sitting.

Merlin was surprised to see what effects the last few months had had, leaving deeper marks than years of battle. 

He imagined they'd done something similar to himself.

He sat down, and Gwen hurriedly sat down in the only empty seat remaining.

It was a square table.

He figured that with only four members left, the round table wouldn't be of much use anymore.

“Merlin has agreed to tell us everything that happened.” Gwen said. “So we will listen to him.”

“You can ask me questions, of course.” Merlin said, looking first at Leon and then at Percival. “But don't interrupt me and please don't judge me too harshly.”

“We won't.” Leon promised. “You were young and had magic in a kingdom that would see you dead. It's normal to be afraid and make hasty decisions in these circumstances."

Merlin smiled. "Thank you.” Merlin took a deep breath, “It all started when my mother found out that Will knew I had magic. Will had responded well and my mom knew he would never betray me, but she was still scared of what the others in our village might do to me if they knew I had magic. Not because of me personally, but because Cenred captured sorcerers and made them his slaves.”

“So, why Camelot? Surely another kingdom would have been safer for you.” Leon asked, confused.

“Not really.” Merlin said. “Sorcerers are killed in many kingdoms, and where they are not they are used as slaves, either by magical means or by threats. Even going to the Druids wasn't safe. They are nomads, my mother would have had no way of finding me, and above all many times they are betrayed by their friends. Camelot was the only place where my mother knew the person I was supposed to stay with.”

"Gaius." Percival nodded.

"Exactly." Merlin confirmed. “Gaius had practised magic during his past life, and my mother hoped I could learn some control under his guide. As soon as I arrived in Camelot, I witnessed the execution of a man whose only crime was  practising magic.”

His three friends gasped. All of them could understand how scared Merlin had been seeing one of his fellow men die.

"How old were you?" Gwen asked. “I remember that you were very small and sweet, but… how old were you?”

"I was fourteen years old when I first arrived here." Merlin replied, smiling at their surprised looks. “Yes, I was quite young, and it was strange that my magic was already so strong. Usually, it manifests itself at an older age, as it happened for Morgana.”

“Did you see the execution?” Leon asked, looking seriously at the boy. “You were scared.”

“Terrified.” Merlin nodded. “But that man practised black magic, and I understood that magic could be dangerous. I looked for people who used it for good in Camelot, but I didn't find that many, and the ones who initially seemed good ended up betraying me."

"I am sorry." Percival said. “I am a druid, raised with them. I can understand your pain. I would have liked you to confide this about me. Maybe you would have told me.”

"No." Merlin disagreed. “Everyone who knew about it is dead, except for Gaius, who was tortured-” at the gasps of the others, Merlin quickly said “-we'll get to that. But Percival, I wouldn't have told you I had magic. I never wanted to put you in danger.”

"All right." Percival nodded, feeling slightly less guilty.

Thinking that it would make it easier for everyone to follow his story, Merlin made some figures appear on the table, portraying the events he was speaking about.

“Inside the castle I met Gaius, and saved his life when he lost his balance and almost killed himself. He realised I had magic and then recognized that I was Hunith's son, so he let it go. He also probably understood why my mother was so insistent on sending me to him to learn the art of healing.”

" What ?" Those were the three exclamations he received in return.

“You don't really think I came to Camelot to be Arthur's servant, do you?” Merlin asked, amused. “I had come to learn healing and then return home and become the healer of Ealdor. It's also the excuse I used with my neighbours. When I stayed in Camelot, they were a little upset, but I sent them money all the time, along with more food when needed. So they were not that upset about the change of plans. Also, when I helped a druid get out of here, I often had them stop by to heal someone there or provide supplies for when diseases spread." Merlin explained, making the others smile.

“How did you meet Arthur?” Percival asked. “I've always wondered that. When did you save his life?”

Merlin laughed. “No, that was our third meeting. In the first one, while I was running some errands for Gaius, I interrupted his bullying of a servant being pelted with daggers. I tried to punch him after being invited to do so, and when he told me he would have me locked up for that, I asked him if he thought he was the king. He replied that he was the prince.” The three laughed in amusement.

Gwen said. “I had no idea you didn't know it was Arthur. I thought you were just so crazy.”

“I was so crazy, because the second time I faced him I knew exactly who he was and I wasn't going to back down anyway.” Merlin smiled. “I was at the market, and Arthur taunted me with some guards following him. I answered him back, and then he gave me a bludgeon and started chasing me around the market. I totally used magic to avoid being killed.” Merlin announced, making the three friends giggle. “And I would have won, if Gaius hadn't appeared and made me feel guilty because I promised I'd stay out of trouble. Arthur didn't have me arrested that second time because he recognized I was an idiot, but I was a brave idiot, so he was happy." 

Merlin took a deep breath. “Meanwhile the whole time I'd been in Camelot, there was a voice in my head calling to me. Sometime before my third meeting with Arthur, I finally followed the voice to the castle's basement, to a cave where an enormous dragon was imprisoned.”

“The same one who attacked Camelot, I imagine.” Leon deduced, giving Merlin a thoughtful look. “Why did you free him?”

“We'll get there.” Merlin murmured. “I'm so sorry for what he did to you.”

Leon sighed. “I know, Merlin. And I know you wouldn't have brought it up if you didn't have a very good reason to do so."

“What did this dragon tell you?” Percival asked.

“I don't remember his words well, but something about my fate. Protect Arthur and guide him towards a better future for all his subjects and for all of Albion. Protect him from anyone who wanted to kill him.” Merlin chuckled. “I didn't have the best of opinions at the time, so I said if someone wanted to kill him, I might as well help him.”

His friends also smiled slightly.

“And after there was our third meeting.” Merlin said. “I was near the royal table, because I had no real position at court, so I couldn't be anywhere else. Lady HHelena began to perform, and I realised that it was actually a spell to put everyone at the banquet to sleep. I stayed awake, and stopped her from throwing a dagger, causing the chandelier to fall on her. She returned to her original appearance, and was the mother of the man I saw executed on my first day, the woman who promised to kill Arthur. When I saw that she threw the dagger at Arthur anyway, I used magic to slow down time or speed up my movements, I don't know precisely, but I saved Arthur. Uther decided to make me his servant as a reward.”

“Wow.” Percival murmured. “Knowing that you used magic in front of Uther to save his son knowing that he could have killed you too… you were very brave.”

“Well,” Merlin blushed. “It wasn't the only time I did it.”

“What happened after?” Leon asked.

“Afterwards there was the tournament that showed me that Arthur wasn't so bad after all.” Merlin replied. “Arthur used me to train, using the excuse that I was his servant to be mean. Not that it worked, but still.” Merlin frowned. “I… Valiant was one of the challengers, and during a fight he had left a snake bite as a wound on his opponent. His shield had three snakes drawn on it, and I realised he had to use magic.” Merlin said. “We took the evidence to Arthur who believed me about a knight and took the matter to court. Except Valiant wasn't that stupid, and of course he proved how cowardly he was by killing the knight he had wounded.”

Merlin swallowed. “Arthur had to withdraw his accusations, and then he fired me because I had humiliated him in front of the court and his father. I found a magical way to reveal the serpents from Valiant's shield using a castle statue..."

“I always wondered why you would want that statue.” Gwen said. “It's nice to find a reason behind your absolute madness.”

Merlin smiled, blushing.

“Arthur won and everyone saw that Valiant had used magic. Uther never apologised to Arthur for accusing him of being a disgrace, but Arthur apologised to me and rehired me as his servant.”

“And I guess you were happy.” Leon said.

“Yes, until he loaded me with tasks because he apparently had no other servants at that time.” Merlin pouted.

“Since you became his servant, Arthur hasn't taken any other, not even when you disappeared for days for no reason.” Gwen said. “He was tied to you.”

"I know." Merlin said. “He could also have avoided giving me so much work when I got back.”

The three laughed.

“Afterwards there was a bit of respite, and then a strange epidemic began. I wanted to use magic to cure the sick, but Gaius told me that Uther would kill me.”

“And you healed my father.” Gwen clasped her hands over her mouth, her eyes glittering. “It was you, right?”

"Yes." Merlin smiled. “Even if Uther then arrested you and almost killed you. I tried to confess that I had magic to Uther to save you, but..."

" What ?" Gwen screamed. “He would have killed you!”

“It was my fault you were going to die!” Merlin exclaimed back. “I couldn't live with myself! However, it didn't work, because Arthur got in the way and said I was too stupid to be a sorcerer. Which was false and also offensive.”

“You never lied.” Leon realised. “You confessed to the nobles of Camelot that you had magic and survived even though you actually have magic.”

"I know." Merlin snorted. “Uther also told me that I am a trusted ally in the fight against magic, but that's another story.”

“He said what?” Gwen asked. "How…?"

“We'll get there.” Merlin promised. “I wasn't allowed to die in your place, but thanks to the dragon I understood what creature was causing the sickness and how to defeat it. Arthur and Morgana helped me, the Afanc died thanks to Arthur's skill and my magic, and then Gaius said that the real culprit was Nimueh, an old acquaintance of Uther." He sighed. “Morgana said she'd seen my secret, and I was relieved to have an ally in Camelot, but apparently she was convinced I was in love with you, Gwen. Which I wasn't, you were just a dear friend of mine, and you still are now.”

"I know." Gwen smiled. “But I can only imagine your reaction to her sentence and her undying support.”

“Yes, imagine it.” Merlin chuckled. “Nimueh was furious with me, so she planned another attack on me , this time. She came with Lord Bayard to Camelot for the signing of a peace treaty, she told me that Arthur's cup was poisoned and I drank it at Uther's insistence."

"What?" Leon asked. “Arthur allowed it?”

“He wasn't happy, but I wouldn't let him die because of Bayard.” Merlin said. “Even if the trap was for me. Nimueh knew I wouldn't let Arthur die, so she knew I would drink the poison in his place.”

“You became predictable at some point.” Gwen murmured. “A lot for: if someone wants to kill him, I will help him .”

“I know, I was naive and young.” Merlin rolled his eyes. “I don't know much, after that, I only saw glimpses of what happened to Arthur. I sent him a light to guide him out of the cave, and I know that Nimueh tried to kill him there, but..."

Gwen took a shaky breath. “I can fill in the blanks. Gaius recognized the poison: it was caused by a death flower and guarded by a basilisk. Arthur went, against his father's orders, to retrieve the flower. Nimueh must have tricked him in the caves themselves. Uther had Arthur imprisoned as soon as he returned, and I recovered the flower. We thought you were dead when you didn't wake up…” Gwen swallowed, tears gathering around her eyes.

"I am sorry." Merlin whispered. "Thank you."

“You would have done the same for me.” Gwen said, smiling. “In fact, you have, several times.”

“What's next?” Percival asked.

Merlin smiled. “Lancelot. We met Lancelot. I was in the woods and I was attacked. Lancelot saved me.” Merlin sighed. “Gaius healed his wound, and he told me he wanted to be a knight of Camelot. Me, him and Gwen then decided that the law was stupid and to break it.”

"Of course." Leon sighed. “I should have known you were behind it, Merlin.”

“I'm always involved.” Merlin smiled. “But Uther realised it was a fake, and Lancelot was arrested. Meanwhile, the beast that had attacked me turned out to be a gryphon and was approaching Camelot. No weapon could kill him, so I learned a spell to take him down.” Merlin sighed. “Lancelot had been freed by Arthur, and he was going to face the gryphon anyway. I reached him, and we found the men of Camelot all on the ground, some unconscious, some dead. I checked on Arthur as Lancelot set off against the gryphon. I enchanted his spear and he killed the gryphon. I ran away before Arthur woke up. While Arthur and Uther argued over Arthur wanting to make Lancelot the knight of Camelot, Lancelot told me that he had seen that I had magic, and that he would keep my secret. But… he didn't feel he deserved a place as a knight of Camelot and left.”

"I am sorry." Leon said. “Lancelot was a dear friend. It must have been painful to lose him like that.”

“It was, but I felt like it was part of something bigger.” Merlin smiled. “And he deserved his chance.”

"He did it." Percival smiled. “And now I know who the friend he always talked about was. It was you, wasn't it? Did you send him letters?”

“Every week.” Merlin confirmed. “Lancelot told me where to find him when he left. The only time I didn't know where he was was when you and him were at that slave trader's." Merlin said to Gwen. “I was very worried about him.”

"I can see it." Gwen nodded, glancing at Merlin. “After Lancelot, I think there was Morgana's near-death, right? When Gaius was fired.”

" My fault ." Merlin murmured. “Gaius failed to cure an illness that Morgana had, and Arthur decided to trust a man named Edwin who swore he had the cure for every ailment. He healed Morgana, and took Gaius' job as court physician." Merlin looked down. “He saw my magic and showed me his, and talked about how we could use it for good and I was stupid enough to believe him.”

“You were a boy looking for an ally.” Leon said. “You can't blame yourself for believing the best in someone you thought to be like you.”

“I was stupid and naive and I almost got Gaius killed.” Merlin said. “Edwin was not what he seemed. He was the son of two sorcerers Gaius had known who were killed by Uther. He wanted revenge on Uther and used the same tactic he used to hurt Morgana. Cockroaches that ate brains.” He explained. “They would have killed Uther in the most painful way of all.” Merlin took a deep breath. “I saved the life of Gaius, who had changed his mind about running away from Camelot to avoid seeing me dead, and I killed Edwin. And then I used magic on Uther to save his life. Gaius became the Court Physician again and was then made a citizen of Camelot.”

“You used magic on Uther to save him.” Percival murmured. “You are extremely brave.”

"Thank you." Merlin blushed.

“Did you talk to anyone about your experience?” Leon asked. “Taking someone's life is extremely difficult.”

“I couldn't tell anyone about it, but soon after, Arthur and I went hunting together and I killed a bandit by knocking him off a cliff. Arthur helped me with that, and I used the same tips he gave me to get past Edwin’s death as well.” Merlin admitted. “Gaius was just happy that I saved Uther and didn't die, so he didn't really think about the consequences of killing someone. He's a physician, he's quite used to seeing people die."

“I don't really remember everything that happened next,” Merlin said. “But I remember that two guests arrived in Camelot, two nobles. Arthur and I saved them on patrol. Sophia and Aulfric I think their names were. They were Sidhe, powerful goblins trapped in two mortal bodies as punishment for the murder of one of their kind. To get back to Avalon, they had to sacrifice Arthur, I don't know why. I saved Arthur's life and killed them both."

Merlin swallowed. “Then we met Mordred. I heard a voice in my mind asking for help. He was a druid child who ran away from the knights. I helped him and involved Morgana and Gwen again in a betrayal of Uther.”

Gwen giggled. “You really should stop getting in my way when you commit treason against Uther, Merlin.”

“Well, I stopped.” Merlin murmured. "At a certain point. Even though, technically speaking to me, it is a crime, and everyone, including Uther , has committed this high treason.”

The three chuckled lightly.

"He called me Emrys, he..."

“Wait,” Percival interrupted. “Are you Emrys?”

"Yes, I am." Merlin nodded. "Why do you know who Emrys is?"

“I grew up with druids, Merlin.” Percival reminded him. “Emrys is the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk this earth, the protector of the Once and Future King. There are legends about Emrys.”

“Well, good.” Merlin blushed. “The dragon explained it to me. Not everything, but still. It doesn't matter now, Morgana and I decided to return Mordred to his people, but Morgana was seen. I don't know how she did it, but we got Arthur involved. The dragon told me that Mordred was destined to kill Arthur. And that I should have let the guards kill them. I… I was tempted, for a moment, but it was the wrong thing to do, and I made Mordred run away with Arthur.”

“You made the right choice.” Leon said. “Man's crimes do not fall on children.”

Merlin smiled slightly at Leon, feeling better. “I still had doubts, sometimes.”

"Understandable." Gwen said. “Arthur is your friend and you didn't know Mordred personally. It's natural that you had doubts about it. None of us judge you. In the end, as we expected, you made the right choice.”

“Then the celebrations of Arthur's appointment as Crown Prince were interrupted by a black knight who came to challenge a knight of Camelot to the death. Gaius recognized who it was, even if he had doubts that vanished as soon as  the knight did not die from what should have been a fatal blow. It was the ghost of Tristan De Bois.”

“ De Bois ? Queen Ygraine's brother?” Leon asked, blinking.

"Yes. After his sister's death, he came to Camelot to challenge Uther to a fight to the death. He blamed Uther for his sister's death, and he wasn't entirely wrong." Merlin murmured. “Nevertheless, Arthur accepted the challenge and I couldn't let him die. I consulted the library and was told that the only way to kill an undead was to use a non-mortal sword. So I went to the dragon and asked him to forge a sword for Arthur. The one you gave me, Gwen.”

“Excalibur?” Gwen asked.

"Yes. Arthur doesn't know it, but I was the one who put it in that stone. Long story." Merlin said. “And we'll get there, sooner or later. Now, Uther had taken Arthur's place. I didn't know anything about it until he arrived, but he asked me to take care of Arthur after he was killed. Obviously, the sword saved his life, so he didn't die, but the fact that he was willing to die for Arthur redeemed him a little in my eyes. The dragon wasn't happy that Uther used that sword, his sword, so I threw it into Avalon."

“And you saved Uther's life once again with magic.” Leon commented. “And, imagining why the queen's brother might have found him guilty of his sister's death… It makes me think that you also saved him from the consequences of his own actions.”

“It was a mistake, but Arthur would hate himself, and I couldn't let that happen.” Merlin said. “Afterwards Ealdor was attacked, and my mother came to Camelot for help. Uther couldn't send men into Cenred's land to avoid a war, and Gwen, Morgana, and Arthur came with me. In fact, I didn't really want you with me."

“You could have used magic if we weren't there, right?” Gwen asked. “It was useless that we came with you.”

“It was a little useless, but it made me feel better.” Merlin said. “Knowing that you would come to help me. It made me feel really good, having friends who would risk so much for me . I never had many growing up, for obvious reasons, so, yeah, even though it would have been easier to defeat the bandits on my own… having you there helped me in ways I didn't even know I needed."

Gwen smiled, reaching out to hold Merlin's hand.

“We defeated the bandits, and I used magic to speed up the process.” Merlin admitted. “Arthur saw it and I was ready to tell him that I was the sorcerer, that I had the magic. But the bandit leader was still alive, and he shot an arrow at Arthur's back. Will saved him, and before he died, he said he was the sorcerer.”

Merlin took a deep breath, trying to swallow his tears.

“You lost your childhood best friend.” Leon said. “It must have been painful.”

“It was. But Will was happy to see me, and he actually knew that I wouldn't want to tell Arthur who I was at that moment. That I was afraid of being rejected. So I know he would have taken the blame either way.” Merlin murmured. “I just wish I had done things right and saved him.”

His friends gave him a moment to remember Will, and Merlin sent them a grateful smile at the end.

“After that, Arthur killed a unicorn during a hunt, which brought a terrible famine and curse on Camelot. I tried to convince Arthur of accepting the consequences of his actions and trying to save Camelot from that curse, and in the end I succeeded. We went to Gedref, and Arthur drank some poison for me. It wasn't real poison, just a sleeping pill, but it served to show that Arthur was pure of heart. He had been ready to atone for his sins and to give his life for that of a servant. Anhora was satisfied, the curse was lifted, and Arthur and I buried the unicorn's horn. Having proven himself pure of heart, the unicorn actually lived again.”

“Then I think my father was killed.” Gwen said. “He had made a deal with a sorcerer, and Uther sentenced him to death. What happened after? You asked me if I would let Uther live if I had the chance.”

“Morgana was enraged by Uther's choice. She allied with Tauren to kill Uther.” Merlin admitted. “After you gave me your answer, I realised that you were right. Of course, if Arthur had been ready to be king, I… hesitated. I wanted to be free and I knew that Arthur believed that magic could be good, or that not all sorcerers were bad regardless. I thought… I could stand back and let Morgana carry out her plan…”

“You didn't.” Gwen said. "It's okay to be tempted, Merlin, Uther was a man who killed many of your own kind, and who would have killed you too."

"I know." Merlin murmured. “I killed Tauren’s allies, but Morgana must have changed her mind because of something Uther said, because she killed Tauren herself.”

"See?" Gwen asked. “Morgana had already faltered without your intervention.”

"I understand. But it was part of what pushed her into Morgause's arms." Merlin said.

"After? What happened?" Percival asked.

Merlin could guess that his friend was curious about that part of their lives.

Percival wasn't there and Leon and Gwen didn't know everything.

“The Questing Beast.” Merlin said. “Arthur was bitten by the creature, and Gaius’d told me that the bite was lethal and there was no cure. I couldn't accept that and the dragon told me to go to the Isle of the Blessed. I found Nimueh there, who explained to me that to save a life another should have been taken. I offered mine for Arthur's and then returned to Camelot. I expected to die, but I was fine. My mother arrived, sick. Nimueh had deceived me and chosen my mother instead of me. The dragon admitted that he had also deceived me and I swore that I would leave him locked under the castle forever. I was enraged, and it was a mistake to say those words.” Merlin took a deep breath. “I said goodbye to Arthur and intended to return to Nimueh, to settle the deal and save my mother. Gaius had preceded me and I arrived in time to see him lying on the ground, dead. Nimueh mocked him and so I challenged her. When she died, Gaius woke up.”

“Would you have given your life for Arthur?” Leon asked. “For your destiny?”

“Along the way I stopped protecting him for that future.” Merlin said. “But I just wanted to see him safe and happy. I wanted to be his friend, because he needed it.”

“You were a good friend to him.” Gwen reassured him. “And I'm sure he appreciated all the times you saved his life, or lied about magic to save him.”

"I would have liked to explain to him everything I had done, the way magic could be used..." Merlin murmured.

"I know." Leon put his arm around his shoulders. “I'm sure that wherever he is now, he knows it.”

"Yes." Percival nodded. “I'm sure he knows about everything Emrys and his friend have done for him.”

Merlin smiled. “Next there was Sigan. I don't remember much, just that some damn rat tried to steal my job and that Arthur let him do it. Sigan was a powerful sorcerer, and Cedric allowed himself to be possessed by his spirit. When he tried to take over my body, after I refused to join him as a powerful sorcerer and make Arthur terrified of me, I locked his soul back in his crystal. I had to ask the dragon for help who made me swear that I would free him.”

“A powerful sorcerer offered to rule with you and you said no?”

“I am Arthur's servant.” Merlin said, before gulping when he realised he was no longer his servant. “And I'm your friend. No offer of power can rival this loyalty.”

Gwen smiled. “I don't even know how many offers you have received, and yet… you are better than many knights.”

Merlin blushed. “Thanks Gwen. The only thing I remember after that was the tournament where Arthur decided he wanted to prove he was the best warrior.”

"What?" Leon asked.

“It's your fault, actually.” Merlin said. “You didn't want to hurt Arthur because he's the prince, and Gwen and I were forced to put up with his royal insecure bottom and put on an absolute charade. We found a fake knight, Arthur slept in Gwen's house and I'm sure their affair started when Gwen yelled at him, great job, Gwen, by the way.” Merlin smiled at his friend, who snorted. “An assassin had come to Camelot to kill Arthur under King Odin's orders, and he noticed that I had stayed in Camelot and hadn't left with Arthur. He followed us, realised that Arthur was participating in the tournament, I used magic to destabilise the assassin during the tournament, and Arthur won. Then, to impress Gwen, he showed humility and let the fake noble take credit for the victory.”

“It's funny how Arthur made you participate in a betrayal this time.” Leon murmured.

“We influenced each other in turns.” Merlin replied amused.

“Then Morgana showed signs of having magic.” Gwen said. “Merlin directed her to the Druids.”

“Yes, which started another druid hunt.” Merlin rolled his eyes. “And the dragon told me that I should never help Morgana because she was destined to be a danger to Arthur, and Gaius told me that I couldn't tell her about my magic, which left me without many options. Sending her to the Druids was the only way.”

“Did Arthur realise something was wrong?” Leon asked, worried. “He must have noticed the way you visited Morgana.”

“Yes, but he convinced himself that I had a crush on her.” Merlin said. “And he told me not to get my hopes up.”

“Why does everyone think you're in love, when in reality you're committing betrayal and treason?” Percival asked, surprised.

“I don't know and at this point I don't pay too much attention to it.” Merlin said. “Anyway, after that, we met Lancelot again!”

“A very cheerful way to describe my kidnapping .” Gwen said. “Morgana and I went on our annual visit to the grave of Gorlois, the man we believed to be Morgana's father and who raised her for eight years. I was captured and forced to pretend to be Morgana. When I arrived at Hengist, I met Lancelot. He performed to get food and a place to live in the meantime, and was paid to win battles. He helped me escape, but we were both captured and would have been killed if it weren't for Merlin and Arthur."

"Yes. Morgana returned distraught, and Uther denied permission for anyone to save Gwen.” Merlin said. “Arthur and I went anyway and foundwhere that man was hiding. We saved Gwen and Lancelot, and while Arthur played Gwen's saviour, I closed the grate with magic, trapping the worm inside the cage with the wildren. Lancelot realised something was going on between Gwen and Arthur and he left again."

Gwen took note of the pain in Merlin's voice, before asking. “And, what about Arthur?”

“Oh, poor dear, he was so upset, but I told him I would always be there with him and he wasn't very happy anyway, so he deserved to be upset.” Merlin said, making his friends laugh and Gwen snort.

“Then I think Uther married a troll.” Merlin said.

“Leon already told me about that.” Percival said. “I take it you're the reason the troll died?”

Yes. Did you know they targeted me?" Merlin asked and they all nodded. "Okay, they wanted me out of the picture because they knew I was in on their secret. I never left Camelot, so it wasn't a problem. Uther was under powerful magic, trolls are very powerful creatures. Uther had to cry tears of real pain, so we poisoned Arthur and called Uther. I administered the antidote to Arthur before it was too late, after killing the troll's servant, Jonas. Arthur killed the troll.”

“Wow.” Leon murmured. “Knowing that I have you to thank for not having to put up with that troll anymore is…”

“Don't worry, it sucked for me too.” Merlin smiled. “Anyway, the next incident was my fault. I used magic stupidly, only to see a smoke horse, but another saw it and called the witch hunter.”

Gwen spoke up. “Merlin, what you did was normal. You were fifteen, you were a child. You didn't hurt anyone by using magic.” Then she said. “Aredian invented the evidence. He interrogated Merlin and Morgana both and I'm sure he used them to trick Gaius into confessing. Uther declared that he must die, and Merlin and I found the evidence to prove Gaius’ innocence and save him.”

“Aredian used belladonna, it makes you hallucinate. He accused Gaius of spitting toads out of his mouth and I… well, I felt petty, so I used magic to make him spit some toads. He fell from his bedroom window. Gaius was alive, Morgana and I were out of danger. Everything went well.”

“Better him than you.” Leon said. “Aredian was a corrupt man. All witch hunters were like that, many times they made innocent people die to get easy money.”

“He had also threatened the grocer to sell the nightshade.” Gwen said. “He said that the grocer and his family would burn at the stake if he did not obey Aredian's demands.”

“Like I said, it wasn't a big loss.” Leon said. “I'm just sorry you had to deal with the consequences of killing someone again.”

“In protecting Camelot and Arthur, I had to take lives, and so did you.” Merlin said.

“But I swore an oath to the king.” Leon said. “I am a knight of Camelot, it is my duty.”

“And I promised myself that.” Merlin said. “And I'm friends with Arthur. It was something I wanted to do.” Merlin swallowed. “I felt like a monster, until I got to Camelot and was able to use my magic to save Arthur . The price didn't matter to me, because I could finally look at myself and not be disgusted by who I was.”

"I understand." Percival nodded. “I guess Lancelot helped.”

"Very. His easy acceptance, he… helped me a lot.” Merlin nodded.

“What happened next?” Gwen asked.

“Morgause arrived in Camelot. She tricked Arthur into coming to her, and when Arthur and I arrived, she tricked him again and made him see his mother's spirit." Merlin took a deep breath. “Uther hated magic because of a choice he made. He could not accept that his wife was sterile and made a deal with Nimueh.”

“A life for a life.” Leon murmured.

“And when magic chose Ygraine, Uther began his revenge against every magic user.” Merlin said. “Arthur wanted to kill his father so I told him… I told him Morgause was lying.”

“Merlin.” Gwen hugged him. “You would have been free .”

“And Arthur would hate himself and I couldn't let that happen.” Merlin said, tears in his eyes. “It hurt to hear him say how evil magic was, of course, but… it was better to see him hating himself for killing his father.”

“You are a good man.” Percival told him. “And you're an even better friend.”

“Afterwards I met a druid. Freya. She was locked in a cage, and… Gaius told me to stay out of it, but I saw her and I knew that it could have been me, inside that cage. I helped her escape. I wanted to leave Camelot with her.” Merlin confessed, seeing the surprise in the others' eyes. “But I found out why the Druids had chased her away. She transformed into a Bastet. A kind of winged panther.” Merlin explained. “A man had attacked her and she defended herself. But the mother of that man was a witch and cursed Freya to kill forever."

“How did she die?” Leon asked kindly.

“Arthur killed her.” Merlin whispered, feeling tears fall from his eyes. “He didn't know who she was, but he killed her and I could only take her to a place similar to what we had described as our future home. She thanked me for loving her and then she died.”

Gwen hugged him.

“I'm not angry with Arthur.” Merlin said. “He protected his kingdom and didn't know who Freya was to me. I'm not angry with him."

"I know. But it must have been painful.” Leon said. “Knowing that was the reason why the woman you loved died.”

"A bit." Merlin admitted. “Anyway, soon after that there was a love spell that made Arthur fall in love with Lady Vivian, to start a war. We only prevented that plan from succeeding by having Gwen kiss Arthur. True love's kiss breaks any love spell. Olaf did not kill Arthur, and the war was prevented.”

Merlin grimaced. “I don't know much about what happened with the Neahtid crystal, but I know that Morgana stole it for Mordred and Alvarr.” Merlin said. “When we got it back, I saw a glimpse of the future, the dragon setting fire to Camelot. However, I didn't have time to dwell on it, because soon after Morgause began another plan to bring the knights of Medhir to life. I, Arthur, and some knights went to Idirsholas, and saw that they had indeed been brought to life. Arthur and I survived, returned to Camelot and found everyone asleep except for Morgana. I found the dragon and he told me that Morgana had collaborated with Morgause, and that she was the key for the sleeping spell and that to break the spell, the source had to be destroyed."

“You had to kill Morgana.” Leon deduced.

“I imagine you poisoned her on this occasion.” Gwen deduced.

"I did." Merlin said. “I poisoned her and then told Morgause that if she wanted to save her she must send away the knights of Medhir. She did, I gave her the empty poison bottle and then the two of them ran away.”

“You can't blame yourself.” Leon said. “Morgana collaborated three times with an enemy of Camelot, yes, to kill Uther, but in the end what she did put all of us in danger, including her friends who had supported her up until that point. It was her choices that got her where she went. You didn't push her anywhere, she threw herself in without any qualms."

Merlin smiled shakily. “I promised that I would free the dragon if he told me how to defeat the knights of Medhir and the spell of sleep. And I had to do it. And then he attacked Camelot, and Gaius sent us to find the last dragon lord, who was called Balinor. Before we left Gaius told me that Balinor was my father.” He confessed "He died. And I became a dragon lord. I ordered the dragon to never attack Camelot again, but I did not kill it. I knew what he was feeling, because as a dragon lord I could feel his emotions. He had been deceived and imprisoned for years. I… I left him free.”

“Merlin, was Balinor your father?” Leon asked. “Uther hunted your father like an animal?”

Merlin nodded.

"I am sorry." Percival said. “My family died because of Cenred and I wanted to kill him. You, after all you lost… you still saved Arthur several times.”

“He was a good friend.” Merlin said. “Anyway, a year after Morgana disappeared, she returned.”

“You were sixteen, right?” Leon asked suddenly.

“At this point in the story, yes, I was sixteen.” Merlin confirmed. “Morgana told me that she understood why I had poisoned her, but then Uther started acting strangely, and I found out that she and Morgause had poisoned Uther with some kind of nightmares. When I followed her they tied me up in a forest full of Serkets. I called Kilgharrah, the dragon, and he saved my life. When I returned, I prevented the skeleton army within Camelot from attacking. Without internal support, Cenred ran away.”

“Wow.” Leon murmured. "And then?"

“I found a secret room in the library and I freed a goblin who made a lot of mess, took over Gaius, and had me arrested. I implicated Gwen in betrayal by running away to her house, we freed Gaius from the goblin's influence, and Arthur got donkey ears." Merlin said. "It was very funny."

“Arthur wasn't very happy with the donkey ears.” Gwen giggled.

“I was.” Merlin murmured.

“Then we met Gwaine.” Gwen said.

“Yes, he saved Arthur in a bar fight. And the two bandits we angered impersonated two nobles to kill Arthur during a tournament where blunt swords are used.” Merlin said. “Gwaine also saved me from the two of them when I investigated their swords which were not blunt at all, and Uther banished him. He still went back to save Arthur's life. And then he had to leave anyway because Uther was an idiot and couldn't admit he was wrong."

“Had you found any other Knights of the Round Table?” Leon asked dryly.

"I do not think so." Merlin said. “Afterwards I met Taliesin, a kind of deity for the Ancient Religion. He took me to the crystal cave, where I saw a series of images of Morgana killing Uther. I tried to stop it, but everything I did only made it happen. In one of these events, Morgana discovered that she was Uther's true daughter, and decided that killing Uther and reclaiming the throne for herself was something she had to do. I used the dragon to find the spell to save her life.” Merlin added, looking at Gwen. “But I think I should have let it go.”

“Yes, maybe you should have.” Gwen admitted. “Many things would have gone differently.”

“But I'm glad you stayed true to yourself.” Leon said.

“The Lady Helena, who was set to marry Arthur due to an agreement made at birth between Uther and Godwyn, had been possessed by a kind of Sidhe and her nurse was a Pixie, a kind of elf. We freed Helena from the Sidhe who possessed her, I killed that Sidhe, and Helena became the graceful princess she was always meant to be. I convinced Arthur not to marry Helena just because of the agreement between their parents and Helena and Godwyn returned home. The nurse died because she tried to kill me to stop me.”

“It was you who convinced Arthur to marry for love.” Gwen asked with a smile.

"Yes." Merlin smiled. "It was me."

"Thank you." Gwen said. “I don't think I've ever thanked you for that.”

"There's no need." Merlin said. “Later we found out that Elyan had been kidnapped, so we went to rescue him. I used magic to save Arthur from Morgause, Morgana and Cenred and we returned to Camelot with Elyan.” Merlin explained.

“So you found Elyan too.” Leon said. “And I'm sure Percival joined because Lancelot wanted to join.”

Percival nodded.

“So, the Knights of the Round Table… are they yours?” Leon asked.

Merlin smiled unhappily and didn't answer.

“When Arthur set out to prove himself as a worthy future king,Morgana enchanted a bracelet to take away his life force, and I went to get Gwaine to save Arthur. I was able to command the wyverns to leave Arthur alone and speak to the Fisher King, who gave me a flask of the waters of Lake Avalon.” 

Merlin took a deep breathe, before continuing his story.

“Alice, a former lover of Gaius, returned. She was controlled by a manticore, who used her to poison Uther. Arthur had her arrested, I killed the manticore, and Gaius helped Alice escape."

Gwen nodded. “Yes, I remember that episode. Also… I think that after that, Dragoon made his first appearance.”

“What happened?” Percival asked.

“Uther was sure I had enchanted Arthur because he was us alone and Arthur refused to renounce our love.” Gwen sighed. “Morgana brought Uther to us, right?”

“On your date, you mean?” Merlin asked and Gwen nodded. "Yes. I disguised myself as Dragoon to convince Uther that I was a sorcerer who wanted to bring dishonour on Camelot by making the prince fall in love with a servant. They bought it, but the ageing spells are extremely unpredictable and I couldn't go back. Gaius got me a potion to reverse it just before I climbed onto my pyre and ran away. End of the story."

"Thank you." Gwen smiled. “I'm happy to be your friend. That was the second time you have saved me from death by pyre.”

“I will always be there for you.” Merlin promised. “Let's see, then there was the tournament where everyone could participate and Gilli wanted to kill Uther. He had magic, and I told him I had it too. He… didn't really listen to me, but in the end he decided to take my words to heart and use magic for good.” Merlin took a deep breath. “Maybe I should contact him now… you know…” He glanced at Gwen who smiled.

“I intend to lift the restrictions on magic, Merlin. So, yeah, call him back here.”

"Thank you." Merlin smiled. “After Leon was saved by the Cup of Life, Arthur and I were sent to get it, but Cenred sent men to steal it from us. We found Gwaine shortly before, but Morgause had made Cenred's army immortal. I think she killed Cenred at that time, but I don't know for sure. We found Elyan. He, Gwaine and Gaius went out into the woods, Arthur and I watched Morgana take the throne. You know what happened in Camelot. We were joined by Lancelot and Percival. I retrieved Excalibur from the lake at Freya's suggestion.” At the confused looks, Merlin said. “My druid girlfriend? The flask of Lake Avalon allowed me to speak with her and she told me that to kill Cenred's army a sword forged from a dragon's breath could be a weapon. And that I had to empty the cup of their blood. I did it. Lancelot had me covered, we never went to the alarm bells, we went straight to the throne room.”

“We were all there for the next quests, so just tell us how you used magic.” Gwen said.

“What happened with the Dorocha?” Leon asked.

“My magic was useless, but Morgana had broken the veil between the living and the dead. Arthur wanted to sacrifice himself to fix it, and I wanted to sacrifice myself in his place. When the Dorocha struck me, other magical creatures released from the veil saved me. I told Lancelot of my plan and he killed himself in my place.” Merlin murmured. “I shouldn't have told him what I wanted to do. It was stupid.”

“Now I understand why you said you wouldn't confide in me.” Percival said. “You couldn't watch me die.”

“No.” Merlin nodded.

“Uther's death?” Leon offered.

“We got Arthur to agree to use magic and I used the Dragoon disguise once again. I wanted to save Uther's life, but Agravaine was working with Morgana and placed an amulet that reversed and amplified any spell cast. If I had tried to kill Uther, ironically, I would have saved him.”

"The dragon egg?" Percival asked.

“It wasn't destroyed. I saved it after Borden poisoned you in the evening.” Merlin admitted. “I cured the effects of the poison and went to Ashkanar Fortress. Borden died in the earthquake but I saved the dragon. I named her Aithusa.”

“The dragon Morgana had.” Gwen deduced.

“I don't know how Morgana met Aithusa.” Merlin admitted. “I don't know why Aithusa trusted her.”

“What about during the matter of Caerleon?” Leon asked.

“Agravaine had convinced Arthur to kill him. After Annis declared war, I only interfered with the fight by not allowing Arthur to die.” Merlin said.

“What really happened with the Fomorroh?” Gwen asked. “I know, after you tried to kill Arthur several times with various weapons, that you managed to get free. But I don't know how you got enchanted in the first place or how you got free of her control.”

“Merlin tried to kill Arthur?” Leon asked, confused. “When?”

“Remember when I told you that I wanted to kill Arthur and we joked about it?” Merlin asked. 

Leon nodded. 

“Well, I don't. Gwen and Gaius are the ones that told me that it was something I did.” Merlin sighed.

“But what happened?” Percival asked.

“Agravaine took me to Morgana. She enchanted me to kill Arthur, but I'm a terrible killer, as far as Arthur is concerned, and so I didn't kill him. I went back disguised as Dragoon to destroy the original.” Merlin admitted.

“And just after that, with Gaius?” Percival asked. “You were very angry that time.”

“Morgana was convinced Dragoon was Emrys. She didn't understand how he could have been told about the Fomorroh and then she realised that Gaius must have known who Emrys was all the time. She had him kidnapped and tortured by a Catha, Alator. Arthur didn't believe me when I said that Agravaine had Gaius kidnapped, he threatened me with exile, in fact. Gwaine and I saved Gaius and Alator swore loyalty to me.”

“And then the Lamia.” Gwen said.

“Gwen…” Merlin murmured.

“You have to be honest with the two of them. About what they did to you.”

"What have we done?" Leon asked. “I have no memories of that.”

“The Lamia is a creature of magic. She ensnares men and makes them do whatever she wants. You were not in control of yourself.” Merlin said.

“You became violent towards Merlin.” Gwen said. “Towards me too, but mainly Merlin. You hurt him."

“Not by their choice.” Merlin added. “I have forgiven you all.”

“Merlin…”

Leon and Percival stood up to pull Merlin into a hug, which Merlin accepted.

“ Forgive us .” Leon whispered.

“I have nothing to forgive.” Merlin murmured. “You were under the control of a magical creature. And after the Fomorroh, I understood very well what it was about.”

Leon and Percival looked at Merlin's eyes, to be sure that he meant those words. Then, reassured from what they saw, they sat down again.

“How did Lancelot return?” Percival asked.

“He wasn't the real Lancelot, he was a shadow. And you weren't really yourself, Gwen, you were charmed into loving him." Merlin said. “I told Arthur, but he was too hurt to see the truth. I freed Lancelot from Morgana's influence and made him die as himself. He thanked me before he died.”

Gwen smiled. "Thank you. I'm glad to know that I didn't willingly betray Arthur.”

“You would never have done that. You had chosen Arthur, your heart had chosen Arthur.” Merlin smiled. “You had achieved your balance.”

“And then Elyan?” Leon asked, giving Gwen a wary look. “When he started acting so strangely?”

“He was possessed by a druid.” Merlin said. “In one of the camps that Arthur had destroyed as a young man. Arthur's honest confession and repentance offered peace to the druid's spirit.”

“ Heavens .” Leon whispered.

“There was no magic involved with Mithian.” Merlin continued. “But Gwen found out about the map that Agravaine gave to Morgana, and Arthur refused to see reason. He didn't marry Mithian just because he still loved Gwen."

“The map allowed Morgana and her army to enter the castle.” Percival understood. “Okay. How did you and Arthur survive after that?”

“I enchanted him to make him go with me.” Merlin admitted. “And we joined some smugglers. To restore his self-confidence, I had him take Excalibur out of the rock and then he drove through it. Morgana was the only problem, but I made it impossible for her to practise magic against us.”

“How?” Percival asked. “I didn't know it was even possible?”

“It wasn't something I could have done many times.” Merlin answered. “And I am not sure that anyone could do something like that. But, Arthur pointed out that she was the only real threat, and I wanted to change that.”

“And you managed.” Gwen answered. 

"Ysmere." Percival intervened.

“You, Gwaine and all the others were taken by Morgana's men.” Leon said. “Arthur would never give you up.”

The three then looked at Merlin.

“I saw Arthur die at the hands of a grown man in a vision.” Merlin said. “And then we found out that Mordred was that man. We saved Annis's knights and men from Morgana's control.” Merlin concluded.

“And then the strange accidents that happened to us and the others of the Round Table?” Percival asked.

“And the poetry you and Arthur were making at night .” Leon added.

“Arthur had freed the spirit of his father, who was not happy either that he had appointed commoners as knights or that he had married a servant. He tried to kill you, we drank a potion that allowed us to see spirits.” Merlin said. “I had the pleasure of throwing it in Uther's face that I had magic and that he had never realised it. Arthur sent him away just as he was about to tell him I had magic.”

“What about Mithian the second time she visited us?” Gwen asked.

“I was knew that something was wrong. Morgana and King Odin had teamed up to kill Arthur and Morgana was Hilda. When Mithian let me know, however, Morgana almost killed me. I caused an earthquake to scare away those inside the crypt, while Gwaine saved the knights outside. I convinced Arthur to sign a peace treaty with Odin instead of killing him.”

“And then with the Disir?” Leon pressed.

"I made a mistake." Merlin whispered. “Arthur wanted to bring back magic to save Mordred, but saving Mordred would have killed Arthur…”

“It was a scam.” Gwen deduced. “If Arthur had welcomed magic, Mordred would not have lived, for he was destined to kill Arthur himself. They had you cornered."

"Perhaps." Merlin said. “Or maybe I was too suspicious and the one that killed Arthur in the end.”

"No." Leon shook his head. “You’ve been in an impossible position since you were fourteen. You are not to blame."

“Thank you, Leon.”

“My kidnapping.” Gwen said.

“I led the others through the impenetrable forest.” Merlin said. “And you were under the influence of mandrake. He put you under Morgana's control.”

“So it was Gwen that poisoned Arthur.” Leon deduced. “When she blamed you.”

“You had me imprisoned and managed to get rid of both of us. When no one saw me, I ran away and treated Arthur.” Merlin said.

“I'm sorry, Merlin.” Gwen said. “I can't believe I accused you.”

“No one challenged you, Gwen.” Merlin whispered.

“Wait, you…” Percival murmured. “Did you really think we were going to leave you there? Merlin, we were preparing a plan to break you out. Gwaine, Leon and I. We would have saved you."

"Really?" Merlin asked, his eyes shining.

"Really." Leon confirmed. “I feel guilty knowing you had these doubts. I thought it was obvious that we weren't going to leave you there to die.”

“It should have been, right?” Merlin asked. “I'm sorry I doubted you. I will not do that anymore."

“Sarrum.” Gwen asked once they’d all relaxed again.

“A young druid named Daegal asked me for help in healing his sister, but in reality it was Morgana's trap to kill me. She poisoned me and Deagal saved me the next morning. We returned to Camelot and stopped the assassin Sarrum had hired to kill Arthur. Deagal preceded me down that corridor and… he died. He saved my life.”

“You would have died.” Gwen put her hands over her mouth, "Merlin, forgive me, please."

“You weren't yourself, Gwen. It was all Morgana." Merlin smiled at his friend. "You know, seeing how you would have made me die made me realise that you weren't the real Gwen. At first he attributed your strange behaviour as a consequence of mourning, a bit like how you did with the kidnapping for me. I showed Arthur the truth and then we purified you. I had to transform into Dragoon again, but after what happened with Uther… Gaius said I was a woman.” Merlin grimaced. “And I put on a dress to look like an old witch. I cleansed you of Morgana's magic.”

"Thank you." Gwen smiled. “Although I really would have liked to see you as the Dolma.”

“I don't and I'm glad I'll never be like that ever again .” Merlin grimaced. “Then I was found by a follower of Alator, Finna. She gave me the written prophecy, where I found out that Arthur would die in Camlann.” Merlin swallowed. “Then we found Kara, who tried to kill Arthur. Knowing how Mordred felt about her and knowing what it felt like to be in a situation like that, I tried to convince Arthur to let her go. Mordred never knew of this discussion, nor of Arthur's attempt to set her free." Merlin sighed. 

“He went to Morgana and told her I was Emrys. She sent a creature to steal my magic from me, and I was forced to leave Arthur behind while I tried to get it back. Despite everything I tried to do, I was too late. I knew Mordred was the danger, yet I focused on the dragon and the Saxons, and not on Mordred. He pierced Arthur with a sword forged from dragon's breath." Merlin swallowed. “Gaius told me to go to the Sidhe and as we went, Arthur opened up to the idea of ​​me having magic. He was more open. He accepted me. I even killed Morgana when she came to gloat over Arthur's death, but by then the horses were gone and Arthur was dead…” Merlin shook his head. “I sent him away in the boat to Avalon and Kilgharrah promised me he would return when Albion needed him most.” Merlin sighed. 

“I found Percival and told him that Arthur was dead. I didn't want to come back." Merlin admitted. “I realised that wasn't what he would have wanted or even what I wanted. I had to return. I still had friends to whom I owed the truth.”

“And now you've told us everything.” Gwen spoke, her voice hoarse from pain and crying. “Tell me, what are your plans now?”

“Anything you want, I suppose.” Merlin admitted. “I'm here for you , Gwen. anything you want, I will try to do.”

Gwen smiled. “Glad to hear that, Merlin. I was worried that you would decide to leave in the end.”

“I already tried to escape.” Merlin murmured. "I will not do it again. It's not what they wanted."

Merlin didn't say who wouldn't want it, but he was sure Gwen understood.

“I want you to help me make Camelot a better place. You can do it?" Gwen asked.

“It would be a great honour, my queen.” Merlin smiled.

***

After Leon and Percival had left Gwen's chambers for knightly duties, the queen invited Merlin to wait a moment with her.

“I think we need to discuss something else.” Gwen told him, giving him a serious look.

“Of course, Gwen.” Merlin smiled at her, though he wondered if his friend would finally reveal to him all the crimes Merlin had actually committed towards Camelot, and how she despised everything the boy had put her through.

“After all you've done, Merlin,” Gwen said, sitting down in one chair and inviting Merlin to sit in the other with a look, “I just have one doubt.”

"Yes?" Merlin asked, relaxing slightly and smiling at his friend.

Even with the full picture of Merlin's actions, Gwen still maintained that it wasn't Merlin's fault what Morgana and Mordred had become and done.

“You overcame the death of your best friend, your father, and the girl you loved, all for Arthur.” Gwen murmured. “Are you in love with him?”

Merlin couldn't help but snort. “I love Arthur, of course, but only as one loves a brother. He wasn't the person I was in love with." Merlin's face darkened slightly. “He wasn't my person .”

"Who is?" Gwen asked, curious. “Why aren't you with her, or him, now?”

“I was, am , in love with two people.” Merlin admitted. “And I miss them.”

“If they live far away, you can invite them here,” Gwen offered.

“They're Lancelot and Gwaine.” Merlin whispered, making Gwen freeze.

“Merlin…” The queen looked on the verge of tears. “Merlin, I'm so sorry. I didn’t know."

"It's not your fault." Merlin reassured her. “No one knew, I didn't want anyone to know. I had to face it alone.”

“Did they love you back?” Gwen asked, unsure. “Lancelot, he…”

“I know you asked him to protect Arthur, Gwen.” Merlin told her. “I know he didn't go beyond the veil because of the promise he made to you.”

"Then why?" Gwen blinked, confused. “Why would he sacrifice himself if not for…” Merlin saw the moment understanding crossed her face. “Did he do it for you?”

“He knew what Arthur meant to me and he knew what I was willing to risk for him.” Merlin swallowed. “It wasn't a risk he was willing to take.”

“What about Gwaine?” Gwen asked.

“After Freya and Lancelot, after Will, I…” Merlin swallowed. “I wasn't willing to take the risk. I didn't want to love him and then lose him."

Gwen stood up and pulled him into a hug. “I didn't want to make you suffer for your feelings, Merlin, even if you were in love with Arthur. I just wanted to offer you comfort for your pain.”

“Thank you, Gwen.” Merlin whispered, hugging her tightly. “To accept me despite all the years of lies. I didn't mean to lie to you. I never wanted to lie, not to you, nor to any of you. I was just..."

"Afraid." Gwen concluded. “And you were a child when you came to Camelot. None of us blame you. We're just happy that now you don't have to hide anymore.”

Merlin smiled into the crook of her shoulder. "Me too."

Chapter Text

Honestly, Merlin didn't know if he could describe his time in Arthur's service. 

After Merlin's idea had saved Arthur from what would surely have been an humiliation in front of his father, the prince had stopped using the boy as a training dummy.

Instead, he had allowed him the opportunity to be trained by him.

“You were loyal.” Arthur told him when he saw the look of doubt on Merlin's face at the idea of ​​being trained in swordsmanship. “And I have no doubt that you will act with my best interests in mind. My knights know how to fight and you have expressed your desire to follow me.” Arthur shrugged, in a gesture of vulnerability that made Merlin's heart melt at the implicit trust Arthur was showing him. “You deserve to be trained too.”

"All right." Merlin agreed. “But only if I don't have to be humiliated in front of everyone else.”

"No." Arthur shook his head. "I will not do that."

So, Merlin didn't complain about his time with Arthur, because the prince cared about it and had proven that he wasn't a complete royal ass.

He was still an ass, and he was arrogant and disrespectful, but he also had a good heart, and Merlin was mature enough to recognize his mistake.

He also took the time to listen to Merlin's gossip from the entire castle every morning.

“And then the cook found her little protégé with the blacksmith's son and she was furious .” Merlin was repeating the gossip Gwen had reported to him. “I don't think anyone will ever forget those screams.”

“If they're as impressive as Morgana's,” Arthur said, responding for the first time to Merlin's comment about the castle staff, “I can easily believe it.”

Merlin stared at him for a few moments, before smiling and saying. “I want to hear that story .”

So, much to his regret, Merlin had to add Arthur to the two-person list of not-worthless nobles.

His great regret because Gwen never allowed him to forget it.

“I thought the prince was an idiot.” Gwen said, appearing out of nowhere, as Merlin performed one of his tasks.

"He is." Merlin confirmed. “But one can be an idiot and a good person at the same time.”

“Wow.” Gwen shook her head. “ Two days .”

"Two days and a half .” Merlin hummed back, pulling away from Gwen before she could continue with her offensive insinuations.

Obviously, not everything could go well. Otherwise, Merlin would have thought he had an easy life, and there was no chance that they could have left him with the illusion .

Just when things had improved with Arthur and Gwen and Morgana had become his close friends, an epidemic broke out in Camelot.

“I can't understand,” Merlin said, watching Gaius prepare a potion. “If we know magic is involved, why don't we talk to Uther about it?”

“My boy, I admire your innocence, but…” Gaius sighed. “Talking about magic with Uther will not lead to a solution. Only to the pain and death of an innocent. And the plague would continue.”

"So what can we do?" Merlin asked, feeling a beginning of anxiety overcome him. 

“The victims must have something in common.” Gaius stated. “We just need to discover the common source, find evidence to support our claim, and then bring it to Uther. With some evidence, perhaps he could use his reason instead of his fear.”

Merlin grimaced, saying. “They are nobles and fellow villagers. They have no points in common. They aren't even servants, otherwise it would have been something in the castle.”

“It hit the citizens first, though. Outside the walls.” Gaius stated, looking over with interest at Merlin approaching the noblewoman.

"What are you doing?" The old man asked, curiosity overcoming his wariness.

“I want to see what she did before she got sick.” Merlin stated. “I feel the magic coming from her, but… I can't figure out where it comes from .”

“Can you do that?” Gaius looked impressed, staring at Merlin as if he'd never seen him before. “Is this something you've always been able to do, my boy?”

Merlin frowned. "I…"

Merlin tried to remember what it was like before he came to Camelot. Magic in Ealdor wasn't as frequent as it was in Camelot, and Merlin had never really needed to see anyone's mind, or sense magic, but…

He remembered the gentle voice from the night before he left. The voice of a matron, or maybe a young woman, or maybe a little girl. The voice of someone who told him he would be safe and never blind to deception. He remembered a caress on his face and then a glow around him.

"I do not know." Merlin shrugged, not wanting to tell Gaius everything. "Is it possible?"

“Only extremely powerful sorcerers could, Merlin.” Gaius told him. “Just as only very powerful sorcerers could cast a curse like that.”

Merlin bit his lower lip. “The book you gave me talks about the importance of the elements in magic.”

"It is true." Gaius nodded, continuing with his tests and keeping an eye on Merlin, as if to make sure he didn't suddenly catch any illness or, worse, use magic at that moment.

“If this is a curse, we can be sure it is not spreading through the air or the land.” Merlin said, moving away from the woman's body and looking thoughtfully at all the corpses. “They belong to different social classes, they have been in different places. There have been no fires, so it can't spread even through fire.”

“So, what's left?” Gaius murmured. "The water?"

"Yes." Merlin nodded. “It should spread through the water.”

Then, without giving Gaius time to protest against the use of magic, Merlin placed his hand on the woman's forehead and closed his eyes.

Flashes of images came to his mind. Flashes of the castle, people the woman had spoken to, and then, a glass of water raised to her lips.

With a gasp, Merlin pulled away from the woman. “She drank before she got ill.” He admitted to his mentor. “She drank some water.”

Gaius handed him a can of water. “Then bring me a sample so I can analyse it.”

***

The Afanc is a creature of clay and water, which lives in the marshy lakes of the North. Possessive and protective of its habitat, it emits a toxic toxin when it senses its home threatened by other beings.

It answers the call of magic, and can be summoned by powerful sorcerers .

“Clay and water.” Merlin said. “To kill him, you'll need fire and air, right?”

“What does the book say?” Gaius asked, raising his eyebrow at him.

“It doesn't say you can kill it.” Merlin admitted. “ Many have tried, yet the Afanc has not yet been destroyed .”

“Then you don't think they would have thought of meeting him with fire and air?” Gaius asked.

"No." Merlin denied it. “Because they would have had no way to get air without the presence of wind, and Afanc don't live in windy areas.” Merlin bit his lip. “This is not its natural habitat. He was taken to a place where he is unfamiliar with the area. It is attacking us to defend its habitat.”

“Do you want to take him to safety ?” Gaius snorted. “The Afanc are very violent creatures.”

"I know." Merlin said. “And I don't think there's any way to save this particular Afanc. I'm just saying, He's weaker. He's not on his home ground." Merlin insisted. “And the toxin released vanishes once the source is destroyed.”

"It is too dangerous." Gaius denied it. “You can't take that risk.”

Merlin shot him an angry look, but Gaius raised his hand. “No, Merlin. I can't let you take that risk."

***

And then Gwen's father fell ill.

Merlin was looking around Arthur's rooms, looking for the keys to access all the wells in the city.

"What are you doing?"

Merlin gasped, turning and looking at Arthur in front of him. “I…am cleaning?”

“Without a rag?” Arthur raised an eyebrow. “You've been acting strangely all day.”

“I'm not…” Merlin started to protest, but Arthur said, without hesitation and with a serious and, perhaps, hurt look. “I thought you trusted me now.”

Merlin swallowed. “I wasn't cleaning.”

“You never do.” Arthur replied, looking seriously at Merlin. "So what are you really doing?"

“Looking for your keys.” Merlin admitted. “I know what is causing the plague.”

" What ?" Arthur asked. “And why wasn't this brought to my father's attention immediately?”

“Uh… because he can be intense when it comes to magic?” Merlin's statement turned into a question under Arthur's unimpressed gaze. “And because Gaius told me I couldn't face the monster alone.”

“You needed Gaius to tell you that?" Arthur asked. “You didn't realise it on your own ?”

“I wasn't going to rush in there without a plan.” Merlin protested. “The creature is an Afanc, and I only need fire to destroy it.”

"Very well." Arthur nodded. Then, he pulled a set of keys from his belt and headed for the door.

“Wait, are you coming too?” Merlin asked, tilting his head in confusion. “Have you no princely duties to attend to?”

“Nothing is more important than protecting my people.” Arthur replied. “And, Merlin, next time? Come straight to me.”

With a smile, Merlin followed Arthur to the spring.

****

“Merlin, can I talk to you for a moment?”

Merlin turned, smiling when he saw Morgana hovering near the door to Gaius' chambers. “Morgana! Are you here for your medicine?” 

Merlin twisted his mouth, trying to remember where it was. Gaius had told him before leaving…

“I have dreams.” Morgana said. “Of things that happen before they actually happen.”

Merlin stopped, letting his gaze look at, and see, Morgana. And there, near her heart, a white light was growing.

It was beautiful.

Pure magic, of a pure heart, that was blossoming.

“Do you think it could be…” Merlin didn't dare finish the sentence, knowing that everyone in Camelot had keen ears and loose tongues.

"Do you think?" Morgana asked, scared.

“I think you're special.” Merlin replied, speaking carefully. “And I think it's not the best time to talk about it. Why do you ask, though?”

“Gaius' remedies are meaningless.” Morgana admitted. “My dreams are just more powerful each time. Nothing stops them. In fact, if I try to stop them, they become even stronger and more intense and..." Morgana wet her lips. “I'm scared, Merlin.”

“Why don't you stop taking these remedies, then?” Merlin proposed. “Or rather, take them from here, but don't drink them. See if by accepting these dreams, they calm down.”

Morgana nodded. “Yes… I think I will. And, Merlin?”

"Yes?"

“Thank you for what you did for Gwen.” Morgana smiled. “She has already lost her mother and brother. She couldn't bear to lose her father too.”

“I'm glad Arthur came with me.” Merlin smiled back. “At least he made himself useful.”

Morgana laughed. “Two days, huh?”

At the princess's retreating back, Merlin screamed. “ Two and a half !”

****

“Why do I have to be there?” Merlin asked, raising an eyebrow at Arthur.

“Because it's not fair that I have to put up with his chatter and you don't.” Arthur replied, staring back at Merlin.

"No." Merlin shook his head. “You don't pay me enough to put up with the mindless chatter of another noble."

“I'm not going to give you a raise to come to the party. I am ordering this to you as your prince .” Arthur said. “You are my servant, you must do as I say.”

“I'm quitting for that party, then.” Merlin said. “And I'll be back to work for you the next morning.”

"It does not work like that!" Arthur groaned.

"Who says that?" Merlin asked. “Find me the rule that says I can't do it, and I'll do as you say.”

Arthur sighed. “You've read the entire rules, right?”

“ Uh-huh .” Merlin nodded, smiling as he saw Arthur's expression become resigned.

“What do you want in exchange for coming?” Arthur asked.

“Two days off.” Merlin responded immediately. “I want some days off.”

"Okay." Arthur nodded.

"Per month." Merlin insisted. “And I don't have to remind you every time.”

“ Okay !” Arthur exclaimed. “Will you come to the banquet now?”

"Obviously." Merlin smiled, happily picking up Arthur's clothes from the floor and exiting the prince's chambers.

“Why are you in such a cheerful mood today, Merlin?” Gwen asked, smiling sweetly at him as they both headed towards the laundry room, each with a basket full of their noble's clothes.

“Arthur has agreed to give me two days off a month for my participation in the banquet.” Merlin informed her, and Gwen frowned.

"Why? You are obliged to participate in the banquet.” Gwen said, confused.

“Arthur doesn't know the rules of servitude.” Merlin informed her. “And please do not inform him, ever .”

"I will not do that." Gwen laughed in amusement. “And Morgana gives me days off without needing to blackmail her.”

“Morgana is not an ass.” Merlin retorted, looking at her with an expression that underlined the obviousness of Gwen's luck.

"I know." Gwen smiled. “I was just reminding you.”

“You're evil, Gwen.” Merlin shook his head. “I thought we were friends, but instead .”

Gwen laughed.

As the two continued to joke, Merlin heard a ringing in his ears.

He turned, seeing a servant carrying pillows.

She fell as soon as she got in front of Gwen and Merlin, and without waiting, Merlin reached down to help her.

Gwen, with a sly smile, continued on her way, leaving the two alone.

"Who are you?" Merlin asked her. “And what are you doing in Camelot?”

“I'm Cara.” The servant replied, smiling. “And I am a servant of the house of Lord Bayard.”

"You're lying." Merlin said, sure of what he was saying. 

Now he knew why the magic was familiar. He had already heard it, in the well, where the Afanc was born.

“Why would I lie about my name?” Cara asked, a hurt look on her face.

“Because you know Uther would kill you on sight, Nimueh .” Merlin said the name of the witch who owned the mark that Gaius recognized.

It had been difficult to get the old mentor to tell him the truth, still angry at having been disobeyed, but in the end Gaius had not tolerated Merlin's endless chatter, followed by absolute silence.

"I am impressed." Nimueh smiled, losing her appearance as a helpless servant and looking like a noble woman in the sheer arrogance she exuded. “Not many sorcerers can recognize me.”

“Well, I’m not many sorcerers.” Merlin hissed. “And I won't let you hurt Arthur.”

“Why do you think I want to hurt Arthur?” Nimueh asked, raising an eyebrow. “My revenge is personal and against Uther alone.”

“Arthur would suffer from his father's death.” Merlin replied. “So, I can't let you kill him.”

Nimueh smiled amusedly.

Merlin wondered if she had noticed the difference in how much she was allowed to do. She could not hurt Arthur, but Merlin would have stopped her   only if she had tried to kill Uther.

“I'm not here for either of those things, not now.” Nimueh said. “Actually, I wanted to kill you .”

"Why me?" Merlin wrinkled his nose, surprised. “And why are you telling me this?”

“My plan was to poison Bayard's gift for Arthur, tell you under Cara's guise that it had been poisoned, wait for Uther to force you to drink it, and then watch you die a slow, painful death.” Nimueh told him. “But I changed my mind.”

"A thousand thanks." Merlin said, ironically. "Can I know why ?"

“You make me curious, Merlin.” Nimueh replied. “Your power… It's not something I've ever seen before. Besides, you've seen my magic. This is something I respect.”

"Thank you." Merlin nodded. "Very nice of you. What did you mean by your argument being personal with Uther?”

Nimueh smiled. “Come to the Isle of the Blessed in two days. There, I will answer all your questions.”

And, without waiting for any response, Nimueh turned and disappeared from Camelot.

Merlin sighed.

At least he had those free days to use.

***

“You want to leave immediately after the banquet?” Arthur asked, frowning. "So soon?"

“I'm also collecting the past months, so I'll have six days off.” Merlin nodded.

“And what will I do without a servant for six days?” Arthur exclaimed, pointing to himself.

“I will have someone for you.” Merlin shrugged. “ George is extremely competent. It won't even feel like you have a servant, it'll be more like a fairy godmother.”

Arthur grimaced, and Merlin smiled. “Besides, George won't try to kill you.”

“Is it normal for a servant to try to kill me?” Arthur asked dryly.

Thinking of Nimueh, Merlin nodded. “We are underpaid to put up with too many dollopheads like you nobles, so yes, some of us become murderers. It pays better and it's enjoyable.”

"Do I have to worry?" Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No, they haven't offered me enough to kill you yet.” Merlin sighed, adding next. “ Unfortunately .”

"Get out of my sight." Arthur said, looking offended at Merlin who, with an exaggerated smile, waved a hand and said. “You won't even notice I left!”

***

The Isle of the Blessed was abandoned. Passing the ruins of what must once have been a temple, Merlin could only imagine the beauty it once had.

If he concentrated, he could even hear the whispers in the stone.

“It was beautiful once.” Nimueh's voice didn't make him jump, only turn. As with Morgana, as with the temple and as with every magical being he had encountered up to that point, the witch also pulsed with magic. Nimueh had a nostalgic smile on her face as she looked around. Her magic throbbed with melancholy. “Life, magic, nature… It was all here. All alive and so shining.”

"I am sorry." Merlin found himself saying, unable to find any other words or other feelings other than regret and sadness in the face of the witch's pain and nostalgia. “I'm so sorry.”

“Thank you, Merlin.” Nimueh smiled, before taking a deep breath and saying. “I appreciate your words and your sincerity. But we have other things to discuss today.”

“You were going to explain to me why you have a personal vendetta against  Uther, right?” Merlin asked, following the witch as she began to walk.

"Yes." Nimueh nodded. “Tell me, Merlin, what do you know about Arthur's family? What do you know about the history of Camelot?”

“I know that Uther outlawed magic after it became uncontrolled.” Merlin spoke slowly, trying to keep both the witch's expression and magic under control, afraid of angering her and afraid of the prospect of scaring her. “And I know that Camelot has belonged to the Pendragons for a long time. Morgana is not Uther's daughter, but the daughter of a knight who was loyal to Uther and who died fighting for him." Merlin shrugged. “I'm afraid I don't know much else. Arthur only has one ring that belongs to his mother. He always keeps it around his neck, hidden from view.”

Merlin had only seen it after the Valiant episode. The boy was willing to bet that no other servant had ever seen that ring, the best kept secret the prince possessed.

It had warmed the boy's heart to realise that Arthur had come to trust him so much.

"Wrong." Nimueh said. “Camelot has belonged to the Pendragons since King Brutus conquered the kingdom, thanks to the help of a few men and a powerful sorcerer, Ambrosius. After him, many kings availed themselves of the magic of Ambrosius' descendants.” Nimueh snorted. “For example, Belinus had the help of Engel, Danius that of Floretia, Eliduc that of Cornelius Sigan, Hely that of Godbert, Marius that of Hakor, Uther and his father mine.” The witch glanced at Merlin. “And now Uther's son enlists the help of another sorcerer.” Nimueh sighed. “Do you know what Ambrosius, Engel, Florentia, Sigan, Godbert, Hakor and I have in common? Do you know what we all have in common?”

"What?" Merlin whispered, afraid to hear the answer to his question, yet curious as to what Nimueh would tell him.

“We have been betrayed , all of us, by the Pendragons.” Nimueh said. “Many of them became fearful of the power that their best friend, that their advisor had. Some resented the charisma the sorcerers had and the respect their citizens had for them. Imagine the horror if they had seized power over Camelot, stealing it from the Pendragons?”

“They didn't want to do it, did they?” Merlin asked, speaking carefully, unsure of how to act in the face of the pain and contempt Nimueh displayed.

" No ." Nimueh hissed. “None of us ever wanted to betray the friends we had found in Camelot, none of us ever intended to destroy the fragile new reality we had found. And none of us ever wanted to see our relatives and friends killed and hunted like wild animals by those who had protected them and who had sworn an oath to do so!”

Merlin took a step back, frightened by the sudden surge of anger.

Nimueh smiled sadly. "I am sorry. I only know how it's going to end because I've already seen it."

“Arthur is not like that.” Merlin denied it. “He's better. He's different."

“He protects the servant , but would he ever protect the sorcerer ?” Nimueh challenged Merlin. “Anyway, Uther isn't. And I have a lot of reasons to hate him.”

Merlin looked at her curiously, and Nimueh didn't wait for him to respond.

“When I served as a court sorcerer in Camelot,” in fact the witch began to explain, “Uther and Ygraine fell in love. I saw their love, it was so pure.” A smile made its way onto the woman's face, a smile so full of affection that it warmed Merlin's heart. “And Uther didn't wait to offer Tristan, Ygraine's older brother, deals to bring their families together in marriage.”

"Love at first sight?" Merlin asked, tilting his head. Maybe, if Arthur ever heard the truth about Merlin and reacted positively, maybe… Merlin could tell him Nimueh's words, letting him know the mother he had never been able to know.

"Yes. But unlike many couples, a love that would last.” Nimueh took a deep breath. “Ygraine herself insisted on following the Ancient Traditions in her marriage. They got married at Beltane, the best time to wish fertility to the couple and prosperity to the marriage. Yet even magic itself has limits.”

Merlin swallowed. “She died in childbirth, didn't she?”

“She didn't just die in childbirth.” Nimueh shook her head. “Ygraine was, sadly, sterile. She was unable to produce an heir, yet Uther needed an heir to continue his line. He asked me for help. He insisted that it was imperative for him to have a son, and told me that he was willing to pay me any price.”

Merlin frowned. “I thought it wasn't possible. Creating life from nothing. Even the Afanc, you evoked it from its natural habitat. You didn't give birth to him."

"I know." Nimueh nodded. “And you're right. Magic does not create life out of nothing . But drinking from this Cup,” Merlin suddenly noticed the Cup leaning against the ruin of the altar. He wondered how he hadn't noticed it before. He was definitely spending too much time with Arthur. “It was possible to transfer one life to another.”

Merlin frowned.

“It is the Cup of Eternal Life. It confers magical and beneficial powers, such as immortality and healing.” Nimueh explained, once she saw Merlin's confused look. “Its protection, use and teaching has been left to the Old Priestesses, such as I am.” 

Merlin nodded. “It seems…” Merlin swallowed. Magic pulsed from the Cup. It was neither evil nor good. It simply was.

"I know." Nimueh nodded, not leaving Merlin to struggle with how to describe the Cup. “Many of us have tried to establish the origin of this Cup.”

“And did they succeed?” Merlin couldn't help but ask.

Nimueh smiled at him indulgently, perhaps softened by the curiosity Merlin showed. “Two magical artefacts approach the Cup of Eternal Life in power and gifts. The Cauldron of Dagda, one of the Four Great Riches of the Tuatha Dé Danann, with powers of healing and resurrection, and the Cauldron of Bran the Blessed, described in the tales of the Mabinogion, capable of resurrecting dead warriors, making them invincible in battle. Unfortunately, they lost the ability to speak after returning from the dead.”

“And is it true?” Merlin couldn't help but ask. “It sounds… Well, like a fairy tale.”

“I can assure you that both cauldrons existed. Dagda was the god known as the “Good God”, associated with fertility, agriculture, wisdom and magic.” Nimueh narrated. Her voice became soft, almost nostalgic, when she spoke about magic and its history. “The cauldron provided food for those in need, and, of course, its magical properties made it a symbol of abundance and regeneration. The other four riches brought to the Tuatha Dé Danann people are the Stone of Fal, which cries out when touched by the rightful king of Ireland; the Spear of Lugh, which guarantees victory in battle; and the Sword of Nuada, which never misses its target. As for the Cauldron of Bran, well, its birth originates in blood and death. Bran gave the cauldron to a king to celebrate his marriage to his daughter, yet war began and this king used the cauldron's power to resurrect his dead. To stop him, one of Bran's warriors sacrificed himself, destroying the cauldron from the inside, killing himself and all of his king's enemies."

Merlin shuddered. "That's awful."

“This particular story, it is.” Nimueh agreed. “Despite this, the Cup of Life has both abilities, and it is not unheard of that either cauldron could have had an impact in its creation.”

"Well." Merlin nodded, blinking and asking. “What does the Cup of Life have to do with Ygraine? Did she drink from it and become a spirit unable to speak?”

Nimueh snorted, shaking her head. “I'm afraid not. Did Gaius tell you about magical balance?”

Merlin grimaced, shaking his head. “Gaius doesn't tell me much about magic.”

Nimueh sighed. “Gaius has betrayed many wizards, but he should know better than to leave a wizard of your calibre without any education. It doesn't matter, I will help you myself, even if I have to instil the knowledge in your mind."

Merlin swallowed, but Nimueh wasn't waiting for Merlin's opinion.

“Magic requires balance, so that its use is balanced in some way. Action gives a reaction. Every act of magic should be balanced by an event of equal impact, such as the creation of something requiring the destruction of something else.” Nimueh waited for Merlin's confirming nod to continue. “Even creating a life is possible, but an equal and opposite reaction takes place.”

“So… a life for a life?” Merlin asked. “I met a witch who wanted to kill Arthur to repay the pain of losing her son.”

“A life of equal importance.” Nimueh sighed. “She had lost her son and would have made Uther pay the same kind of pain. I can't blame her."

“Arthur isn't to blame either.” Merlin defended him. “And he cannot be blamed for his father 's sins. It wouldn't be right."

“Arthur led massacres against the Druids, Merlin.” Nimueh told him, looking at him with sad eyes. “He has already committed crimes against magic.”

" What ?" Merlin swallowed. “Arthur would never do that.”

Nimueh smiled sadly. “Ask him about it, if you don't believe me. Tell him you heard about it during your duty as a servant.”

“Let's get back to talking about Ygraine.” Merlin changed the subject, feeling his chest heavy. “What happened to her?”

“Magic dictates that every magical act requires a sacrifice of life commensurate with the power or effect of the spell.” Nimueh told him. “To best protect her son, the mother's life was taken. And, although it was Uther 's wish and request, my people, my family , paid the price!”

"I am sorry." Merlin murmured. “I'm so sorry, I…”

Merlin shook his head, backing away.

Nimueh smiled. "I know. You are good, and pure.” 

Taking a step forward, Nimueh placed her hand on Merlin's cheek. “And when you find out what kind of person Arthur Pendragon is, you will be welcome to join me.”

***

Merlin couldn't look at Arthur for some time after his talk with Nimueh.

Had the prince killed innocents just out of prejudice? Had he destroyed the lives of children just because of his father's orders?

“Merlin?” 

Merlin gasped, turning and looking hesitantly at Arthur, who had approached him silently.

"Sire." Merlin bowed, and Arthur sighed.

“Where were you on your break?” Arthur asked, sitting on the floor next to him. “And what did they tell you about me?”

"Your Majesty?" Merlin asked, blinking.

“Please, you were completely allergic to manners, and now you are the perfect example of what a servant should be.” Arthur shook his head. “I would like my friend back now. So, what did they tell you about me and how can I fix it?”

“I…” Merlin realised there was no right way to ask the prince how many people he had killed, so he simply said. “I found out from a friend that… well, that you killed Druids just because they were Druids.”

Arthur closed his eyes, and Merlin gasped when he saw a tear glisten on his cheek.

“I was young.” Arthur started to say. “Very young. My father, he… was proud to have me in command of a patrol. I didn't know that they were peaceful, I hadn't yet understood how the Druids lived... But I ordered the women and children to be left alone..."

Merlin gasped. “Are they all dead?”

Arthur nodded. “No one survived. I… whoever told you, told the truth. And, if you wanted to withdraw from my service now… I would understand.”

“Do you regret it?” Merlin asked. “If you went back… would you still kill those children? Women?"

“I would tell my father that we hadn't found the village.” Arthur replied. “I wouldn't make that mistake again and I never have again. I refused to lead any more attacks on the Druids after that.”

Merlin nodded, then, as Arthur began to walk away from him, Merlin said. “I don't want to leave your service.”

Arthur smiled. “Then you won't.”

***

After a week of Arthur's service, Merlin was once again in desperate need of a break.

How he could have missed the royal idiot in the days when he could relax, Merlin didn't know.

Maybe he was like those prisoners who got used to their tormentor?

Merlin sighed.

He had wanted an escape so much that when Gaius had mentioned some herbs that needed to be gathered, Merlin had already left with the basket to do just that. 

At least, he would get a break from Arthur.

Gathering herbs was relaxing for Merlin. The nature around him pulsed with peaceful and tranquil magic, a symphony of sounds, colours and emotions that made him feel at home, that made him feel safe.

Protected.

It was a great feeling, Merlin decided.

Especially after Nimueh's words. Gaius had betrayed other wizards for Uther and Arthur had killed Druids.

Could Merlin really have completely trusted both of them with his secrets?

Gaius kept telling him to be afraid and to hide, but didn't he realise that Merlin would rather die than hide even more?

Living by lying wasn't really living, and every lie told to Arthur made him choke.

Distracted as he was by his reflections, Merlin had missed the beast's approach.

"Careful!" 

A hand moved him out of the beast's range, then urged him to run.

Merlin stopped, turning, in time to see a man armed with a sword fighting an enormous creature.

Protecting him from the enormous creature.

“Run, let's go!” The man exclaimed, grabbing Merlin's arm and dragging him with him.

Hiding behind a log, Merlin finally had time to see his saviour's face.

He had long brown hair, which framed a sweet but strong face, with strong but gentle features, a square jaw and beautiful brown eyes, focused on Merlin's.

“You just saved my life.” Merlin said, breathlessly. “I'm Merlin.”

“Lancelot.” The man responded, shaking the offered hand, before closing his eyes.

Only then, Merlin noticed blood gushing from a wound on his abdomen.

***

Merlin had no idea how to contact Nimueh.

But a winged creature attacking the castle seemed like a good reason to contact the Priestess.

“Merlin.”

Merlin turned as he heard the voice call out to him, blushing when he saw Lancelot in front of him.

Lancelot was everything a knight should be, and yet, because of one stupid rule, he could never become a knight.

“Lancelot.” Merlin smiled, slowing his walk to match the other's pace. Every time he was with Lancelot he felt… levitating.

“Can I accompany you?” Lancelot asked, his eyes fond while he was looking at the young man.

Merlin nodded, feeling excited. "Certainly!"

Lancelot's eyes warmed, walking in step with Merlin calmly, as if he had been doing so his entire life.

“So,” Lancelot said, glancing at the boy, “you are the prince's servant and the court physician's apprentice?”

“I'm a busy person.” Merlin smiled, blushing when he saw Lancelot's gaze, still focused on him.

“You must be extremely bright.” Lancelot murmured. “And tired too.”

“Well, someone has to run this place.” Merlin laughed at his own statement, feeling his ears turn even redder.

If it had caught fire, he wouldn't have been very surprised.

“I saw you with a girl…?” Lancelot had a questioning tone, and Merlin replied.

“Gwen. She is Lady Morgana's servant." Merlin explained. “And a dear personal friend.”

“And you and her…?” Lancelot asked.

Merlin felt his heart break.

Then he scolded himself for feeling that way.

Gwen deserved the love of someone like Lancelot and Merlin shouldn't ruin everything for her.

“No, we're just friends.” Merlin said firmly. “No relation.”

"At all? Not with anybody?" Lancelot asked, looking at Merlin hopefully.

“Completely free.” Merlin nodded, smiling as he fought through the heartbreak.

“So, in this case…”

Whatever Lancelot was about to say, he was interrupted by Arthur's arrival.

“Merlin!” The prince screamed. “Come on, I'm not paying you to gossip!”

Saved by the prince , Merlin thought, smiling at Lancelot and running towards Arthur.

The prince looked at him in surprise. “Did you just immediately obey my call, without letting me chase you and your new friend?”

“I am paid to serve you.” Merlin shrugged, grabbing Arthur by the shoulder and dragging him.

“And that usually doesn't stop you from ignoring me." Arthur said, sounding worried. “Did Lancelot do something?”

“Do you know his name?” Merlin asked in surprise, ignoring the question and focusing on the strangeness. Had Arthur been paying attention to anything?

“You talked about him enough to also let me know about his place of residence, your home, and his passion for art and music.” Arthur said dryly. “And you also said that it's a shame that the Code is so bigoted, otherwise I might have had a good knight in my ranks.”

“Did I say all this?” Merlin blinked. "When?"

“Since you met him.” Arthur sighed. “I never had a minute's peace from Lancelot's talents. So, what did he do?”

"Nothing." Merlin muttered grumpily.

“Either you tell me, or I'll send you to the stables.” Arthur threatened, stopping and giving Merlin a firm, menacing look.

"Well." Merlin sighed. “He wants to ask Gwen out. With him."

"I understood." Arthur replied, frowning. “I… thought Lancelot was honourable and perfect .”

"He is." Merlin nodded.

“So, why isn't he good for Gwen?” Arthur asked.

“He's perfect for Gwen.” Merlin retorted. “They are both good, sweet, intelligent, beautiful, perfect…”

“Wait, you're jealous.” Arthur blinked. “You like Lancelot and you're jealous.”

“Well, he wants Gwen, so it doesn't really matter.” Merlin replied piqued, starting to walk quickly towards Arthur's rooms.

“Damn, sorry!” Arthur said after him, speeding up to catch up. “I didn't mean to tease you. I was just surprised.”

“That I hoped someone would like me?” Merlin growled.

“No, that you think he doesn't like you.” Arthur replied. “Lancelot dotes on you. And I've never seen him talk to Gwen."

“He asked if I was in a relationship with her.” Merlin replied. “Clearly he's interested.”

“You don't think he was asking for you ?” Arthur rolled his eyes. “To find out if you were having a relationship?”

"No." Merlin shook his head. “Also because he insisted on the subject Gwen.”

"Sure." Arthur sighed. “Notify me when your relationship begins.”

“There's no…” Merlin started to protest, but Arthur had started walking again and Merlin missed his chance.

Sooner or later , Merlin promised himself, I will turn Arthur into a toad .

***

“Gryphon, you said?” Arthur asked, looking at Merlin.

“Gaius is explaining to Uther that we can't kill him unless we use magic, but, well…”

Arthur nodded. “My father will not see reason. As soon as Gaius says the words magic , he will stop paying attention and send me and the knights."

“But, Arthur…” Merlin began to protest.

“I believe Gaius. And you." Arthur reassured him. “And that's why I order you to stay here, safe.”

“ Arthur !” Merlin exclaimed.

“I don't want to lose you because of my father's ignorance.” Arthur said. “I trained you, but you did not take an oath to defend the crown…”

“I took an oath to defend you !” Merlin screamed. “To myself, but it's as if I had sworn it in front of everyone!”

“And I promised myself I wouldn't put you in danger again.” Arthur said, looking at Merlin with a smile. “And I won't.”

“ This is what I get for coming to you with the information first?” Merlin protested. “Me being cut off?”

“Until the next killer beast,” Arthur promised, “I'll take you with me then.”

“You better.” Merlin glared at him. “And if you try to die, I'll bring you back to life only to kill you myself.”

Arthur laughed. “Duly noted.”

****

Arthur had been right and wrong at the same time.

Uther had obviously ignored reason and all useful thoughts regarding the Gryphon, and had ordered Arthur to slay the beast with swords.

However, he had no intention of hunting her down, preferring to let her devastate the villages on her way to Camelot.

“Uther will never change.”

Merlin jumped at the voice, not having realised that someone had joined him in his private place, one of the towers where no one ever went.

“Nimueh?” Merlin recognized her, surprised to see her there.

“I kept tabs on Camelot,” Nimueh admitted, “after I realised you remained here despite Arthur's cruelty and knowing what he was capable of.”

"Why?" Merlin asked, blinking in confusion.

“Because as much as I think you're losing your strength here, I know you won't leave. You are loyal to the young Pendragon.” Nimueh replied. “And, when he inevitably fails you, I want to be ready to protect you from his blade and pyre.”

Merlin stopped, staring at Nimueh in shock. “Would you really help me that much?”

“You are one of my people , Merlin.” Nimueh told him, smiling kindly. “And you are young, leaderless in a kingdom that desires your death for the way you were born, and with a guardian who has no desire to push you towards your gifts, hoping to suppress them with his fear.”

“I wouldn't let fear stop me from using magic.” Merlin said. “Without it, I'm nothing. If I can't use it… I might as well die.”

Nimueh smiled. “And it is for this reason, for this love you have towards your gifts, Merlin, that I will not allow a Pendragon to kill you too.”

Merlin smiled. "Thank you. It is much appreciated."

Nimueh sighed, before saying. “Unfortunately, there is a problem.”

“There's always a problem.” Merlin shook his head. “Otherwise it would all be too easy .”

Nimueh looked at him between exasperated and amused.

Some part of Merlin's brain noted that it was a common sight among people who knew him. Arthur, Morgana, Gwen, Gaius, his mother, Will… they all had that exasperated amusement when dealing with Merlin. It was frankly offensive at this point.

“The Gryphon does not want to harm the villagers.” Nimueh said. “She's just protecting her nest.”

" Nest ?" Merlin asked, confused, before widening his eyes and asking. “Is she a mother ?”

“She will be.” Nimueh nodded. “Very early, since she is nesting and protecting the area around her nest.”

“Can we move her?” Merlin asked, tilting his head. "Somehow?"

Nimueh looked thoughtful for a moment, before saying. “With your help, I could ensure that she finds shelter on the Isle of the Blessed.”

“Uh…” Merlin looked at Nimueh, suddenly feeling embarrassed. “Not to be offensive, but it's really not a good place for a puppy.”

Nimueh looked at Merlin with a curious look. “With your magic, I can both make the Island lush as it once was and make the Gryphon travel.”

Merlin shook his head. “What about Uther? He'll want a body or something!”

“We can create a corpse for Uther to admire and celebrate.” Nimueh promised. 

Merlin was silent for a moment. “Could the body move before the fake death? That is, to show more than one person the moment of its death?”

Nimueh nodded. “I can create a Gryphon golem for the show you have in mind. What is it about?”

“I know the Code says that… if an ordinary man does an extraordinary deed, then he could become a knight if he wanted.” Merlin said quickly, glancing at Nimueh.

The witch sighed. “It's about your saviour , right? Lancelot , isn’t he?” Nimueh ran a hand over her face, suddenly very tired. 

Merlin blushed. “Look, he deserves a place among the knights. The fact that he is not noble by birth should not prevent him from serving Arthur honourably and loyally.”

“And, above all, if he were a knight he wouldn't leave you, right?” Nimueh said, smiling in amusement at Merlin's blush.

Redness that only grew, even as a flash of disappointment and pain broke through his embarrassment. “He doesn't want me, he wants Gwen .”

Nimueh sighed. “I hate to disappoint you, Merlin, but your young hero is not interested in your friend.”

"How do you know?" Merlin challenged her.

“I've been keeping an eye on you these past few weeks, Merlin.” Nimueh reminded him. “And I saw the young man following you around like a puppy looking for cuddles.”

Merlin blushed. “Well, that's not important now! Can we do it?"

Nimueh nodded. “I will send you a message when I am on the Island again. It shouldn't take long,” Nimueh reassured Merlin when she saw his worried look, “I'll use magic to make the journey. After that, we will do both spells.”

“What can I do in the meantime?” Merlin asked, wanting to help and do something.

“I left a book on your bed.” Nimueh said. “It contains information about Gryphons. Identify her current nest and protect it to the best of your magic. This should at least calm her down enough to not create further havoc.”

Merlin nodded, even though he was wondering why he would do such a thing if Nimueh didn't think it would take too long anyway.

The Priestess laughed. "It is for you."

Merlin frowned at her. "In what sense?"

“I want to let you train your magic, Merlin.” Nimueh said. “This is what I want to do. Using your magic to protect the lair will not only release your energy, but also allow you to hone your control.”

Merlin blushed, smiling. "Thank you."

Nimueh nodded. "We will talk soon."

After a blink of an eye, the witch was gone.

***

After Merlin had imbued the Gryphon's lair with all the protective magic he had learned, making the soon-to-be-mother gryphon feel safe enough to approach him and lay her head on his lap, a bright light appeared before him.

"Really ?" Merlin murmured. “She did it totally on purpose.”

The gryphon, showing that she agreed with Merlin, nudged him with her huge head on the arm, making the boy smile in response.

“We will take you to a new home.” Merlin told her. “With fewer humans, much safer. Nimueh will take care of you and your puppy.”

The gryphon looked at him with her huge yellow eyes, which suddenly looked sad.

“And I will definitely be there for the birth.” Merlin promised. “Every month I will come to visit you. You and Nimueh.”

The gryphon gave him another nudge, probably reassured by the promise.

Then, Merlin sat on the ground, behind the gryphon, with his hands placed on the ground.

He did as Nimueh had said: he let his power, his magic, flow to the earth, knowing that Nimueh would take it from the other side to heal her home.

He continued to project his magic, taking deep breaths so as not to break his concentration and not get too tired.

He remembered Nimueh's warnings: don't breathe too fast, keep the heart rate under control, don't let what's happening around or the emotions distract.

The consequences could have been fatal, or perhaps just disastrous.

Finally, a portal opened.

On the other side of the gap, Merlin could see Nimueh with her hands outstretched, waiting for the gryphon.

Merlin smiled. “Go,” he said to the gryphon, “Nimueh will take care of you. I promise you."

With a final elbow to Merlin, the gryphon entered the gap.

Merlin sighed.

The next day, he knew the fake gryphon would attack near Camelot. Merlin just had to get Lancelot into the fight.

****

“Merlin, can we talk?”

Merlin turned around.

Lancelot looked good in his armour and in Pendragon colours, Merlin noted absently. Even the sword hanging at his side, the confident and upright posture, suited him.

“Lancelot.” Merlin smiled, hoping the man didn't want to ask him for his blessing to woo Gwen. "Of course."

Lancelot nodded, before taking his gentle grip on Merlin's elbow and saying softly. "Not here."

With a sigh, Merlin resigned himself to his fate of hearing Lancelot's confession about his best friend.

Once they had reached an isolated corridor that was almost never frequented, not even by the servants, Lancelot said. "I wanted to thank you."

"... For what?" Merlin asked, blinking in confusion.

“I…” Lancelot sighed, and Merlin noticed that he shifted nervously. “I just want you to know that I've known for days. I haven't told anyone about it until now and I have no intention of doing so in the future."

"All right…?" Merlin muttered, frowning in confusion.

“I saw you talking to that woman.” Lancelot admitted. “And I heard your discussion.”

Merlin's eyes widened. Nimueh was the only woman Lancelot would ever think to mention. And they had spoken of Lancelot himself.

"What did you hear?" Merlin asked anxiously.

“That she had left you a book of magic on how to protect the gryphon. And then your request to create a fake one just to make me a knight.” Lancelot said quickly. “I haven't heard anything else.”

Merlin sighed in relief, relaxing. Lancelot didn't know about his embarrassing crush on him.

Then, with wide eyes, he stared at Lancelot in fear. He knew he had magic!

"I..." Merlin swallowed, looking for an escape route and realising at that moment that Lancelot had blocked it for him, probably intentionally.

"Wait." Lancelot told him, reaching out and placing a hand on Merlin's arm, staring into his eyes. “Merlin, I saw you secure a mother-to-be. And you tried to help me. I have travelled a lot, I don't agree with the perception of the magic that is here.”

" You don’t ?" Merlin asked in a whisper.

“No, I do not.” Lancelot repeated. “I just wanted you to know that I was in on your secret and that I don't think any less of you. You are one of the bravest people I know, to live in Camelot, to help Arthur despite what his father would do to you.”

“I'm just Merlin.” Merlin blushed, warmed by the praise.

"You are fantastic ." Lancelot said. “And if you ever need me, I'll be there.”

Merlin smiled. “Thank you, Lancelot.”

“Always, Merlin.” Lancelot replied. "Always."

Chapter Text

The talk with Gwen left Merlin feeling a little tired. 

Remembering the moments spent together with Lancelot and Gwaine, remembering their laughter and the way they made Merlin feel… It was hard.

Seeing images of what his life was before , and realising that no matter how much it changed, it would never be the same again…

Merlin would have preferred to still be in danger of dying just for breathing than to live without Arthur, Lancelot, Gwaine.

They were missing pieces of himself, he didn't feel whole without them

He wasn't himself without them.

Lancelot was his driving spirit, Gwaine his strength, and Arthur his courage.

Grettir himself had said that Arthur needed Merlin and Gwaine to live, and Merlin needed them to survive .

It would have made life better for other people, though. He had promised himself to do it, he had promised himself to always be himself , he had promised it to Arthur . He owed his friend that much, at least . 

Merlin owed him much more , but he could do at least this much.

“Merlin?” Gwen poked her head into the small room Merlin had occupied since he first set foot in the castle. "Everything is fine?"

Merlin shook his head, sitting on the bed and watching Gwen walk until she was sitting next to him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Gwen asked, looking at him softly.

“Lancelot wanted me to tell him. Arthur. That I had magic.” Merlin said, even though according to Lancelot, Gwen had perfectly understood who Merlin was supposed to say what to. “He helped me no longer see myself as if I was a monster. He looked at me and saw something worth protecting.”

"Because you are ." Gwen said. “You deserve to be protected, Merlin. You deserve to be loved .”

Merlin smiled wryly. "No, I do not."

“No, hey, look at me.”

Merlin obeyed his friend, looking at her and smiling when he saw her serious and inflexible look. 

“Arthur saw it, we all saw it. Our respect for you, when we thought you were just a servant, did not disappear just because we discovered that you have magic.” Gwen said. “And I can also speak for Elyan and Gwaine when I say that nothing changes . You are our friend and us knowing that you have magic? It only makes us more proud of your courage and good heart.”

"I did nothing." Merlin shook his head. “I did what anyone would do.”

“No, because that's not what Morgana and Mordred did. You lost your best friend, the woman you loved and your father. You had to fight your own people, people with the same powers as you. We can't even imagine how painful this must have been for you.”

“I had no purpose before I came to Camelot.” Merlin murmured. “I thought I was a monster, I was sure I was. I didn't have a reason why I was the demon everyone was warned about, I didn't understand why it was happening to me , and not to anyone else. I didn't deserve to suffer. It wasn't my fault, I hadn't done anything wrong ."

“No, you were just a child .” Gwen said softly, hugging Merlin. “You should have been protected and loved, not targeted.”

“When Will found out what I was, and accepted me…” Merlin swallowed. “I was angry at my mother because she had deprived me of the chance to be with someone who accepted me. Sending me to Camelot seemed like a further mockery to me. My mother was sending me into the heart of the fight against magic.”

“She wanted to protect you.” Gwen was caressing his back, a light touch, comfortable and warm. “That's what mothers do.”

" Now I know." Merlin smiled, sniffling and trying to hold back the tears. “And I'm grateful to her, because she gave me more family , without even knowing it. And, in all of this, I hate myself , I blame myself for everything . I let the fear of Gaius and the ideas of Kilgharrah to control me. If I had met Freya now , would I have saved her? When did I lose the part of me that wanted to protect others with my powers?” Merlin shook his head. “When did I stop fighting for what I believed in? When did I stop looking at the deaths Uther left behind with horror and contempt?”

"You grew up." Gwen told him. “It changes the things you feel. You have hardened, and lost your innocence from all the lies you were forced to tell to survive . You are not guilty of this. It's normal, Merlin. People change, we change, situations change us . I'm not the same girl I was when we met, Merlin. I sentenced to death a woman who betrayed my husband. I wouldn't have put anyone to death the first time I was in Camelot. We change, our experiences change us. Don't judge yourself for having to change so you don't completely lose yourself." Gwen smiled. “For what it's worth, I think you would have helped her. With everything you had.”

Merlin smiled. "Thank you. May I know if you need anything, my queen?”

Gwen raised her head, nodding seriously. “The time has come to let the Council know that magic is returning to Camelot. And that I will personally work on laws regarding it.”

"How can I help you?" Merlin asked, smiling at his friend and his queen. Arthur had loved the right woman.

“I need someone by my side.” Gwen replied. “You must come too, Merlin.”

"Very good." Merlin nodded. “I will do as my queen requests.”

***

The Round Table was too big, Merlin couldn't help but think. 

Too big and too empty .

The war had taken its toll, and many of those who had previously occupied the chairs were now dead.

Not only in battles, but also from illnesses or infections, contracted when Gaius and Merlin were both away from Camelot and who had not had time to help the sick.

Hard times. And scars that remained.

It was right, Merlin supposed, that those times had left scars on more than just his skin.

“Members of the Council,” Gwen spoke up, “I have made the decision to call this Round Table to inform you of a change that will occur in Camelot in the near future.”

“What is this about, our queen?” Geoffrey asked, glancing at Merlin, sitting to Gwen's right. “And may I ask why Merlin sits on your right?”

Gwen had taken the throne once dedicated to Arthur, and Merlin had occupied Gwen's.

Arthur had claimed him as family. Gwen had said that the place rightfully belonged to Merlin.

“My husband gave Merlin his mother's seal.” Gwen said, watching realisation dawn on the faces of the nobles present. The older ones had a sadness in their eyes that wouldn't leave them. “When they left to face Dorochas, after Merlin proved himself willing to risk his life once again for Arthur, my husband claimed him as family. As his own brother.”

“Why didn't he fill the position sooner, then?” Another noble asked, leaning heavily on the table and peering at Merlin with his small grey eyes.

Perhaps Merlin should learn their names, since he would be part of the Table and of future meetings.

“Arthur wanted to protect him.” Leon replied, taking the floor. “Many already knew that Arthur trusted and cared for Merlin. He had defied his father's word many times just to protect Merlin, or to help him with some endeavour Merlin had decided to undertake. But being someone's servant is very different from being claimed as family. It would have painted a target on Merlin.”

The noble nodded, accepting the explanation.

Merlin gave Leon a confused look. It could have been plausible, it was plausible. And Merlin began to wonder if Leon already knew about it because Arthur had told him before, or if he knew the king so well that he knew what would make him not formally recognize Merlin's place.

“Now that we've settled this matter,” Gwen said, smiling kindly at the two nobles, “I'd like to move on to the next one.”

After a moment's pause, Gwen said. “I have come to the conclusion that magic should be allowed in the kingdom once more.”

“After everything it's done?” The nobleman from before slammed his fist on the table. " Absolutely not !"

Gwen looked at Gaius and Geoffrey. “I know that Uther must have told you both his reason for waging war. You may be sworn to a dead man , but I am not and I will not allow this to continue any longer.” Gwen looked at the noble, before asking. “Do you know what life for life means?”

The nobleman tilted his head. “I suppose it's…killing someone to get revenge for a death?”

“So much for men like Uther or Odin.” Gwen replied. “But what about magic ? It means that, to save someone's life, another life must be taken. That's how balance works."

"It does make sense." A knight murmured, rubbing the chin. “A life for a life. A kind of balance?”

"Precisely." Gwen nodded. “Balance governs magic, and Uther knew it, because he had used sorcerers here at court.”

"Who?" The nobleman spoke. Merlin decided to name him Annoyance in his mind, before finding out his name. He would have to ask Leon, Percival or Gwen to tell him what all those people were called.

“Nimueh and Balinor.” Geoffrey replied. “And it is Nimueh who was the witch from whom Uther asked for the favour.”

“What favour?” Sir Cador interjected. He was the last man Arthur had knighted. Merlin had met him fighting in an outside village, defending it from bandits. When he had been injured, Merlin had brought him back to their camp, and soon after, Arthur had knighted him.

“To be able to have an heir.” Geoffrey sighed. “Ygraine was barren, and Uther wanted a son. Nimueh warned him that if he helped him have a child, another person would be killed.”

“And Uther didn't care .” Gwen said coldly. “Except, after he realised it was his wife's life that was taken, he betrayed a friend, and blamed his own sins on magic.”

Annoyance , or whatever his real name was, looked disgusted. “How many innocents have we killed, then? All the sorcerers who attacked us? How do you motivate them, their actions?”

“If you are hunted like a wild animal, if you see your friends die or are betrayed by everyone, can you really find a different path?” Gwen asked, challenged, and Annoyance nodded slowly, a look of discomfort on his face, discomfort coming from his inability to defend himself.

Sir Bedivere intervened. “But choosing to have magic… that made them targets. They chose their path. And many of them did it out of revenge.”

“It's not a choice.” Merlin said.

Everyone looked at him. Gaius was shaking his head slightly, but Merlin didn't care what these people's opinions were.

His friends accepted him, his family loved him and appreciated him. Everyone else could leave for all he cared.

"What do you mean?" Sir Cador looked at him, checking him intently.

After Gwaine, Cador had taken it upon himself to look after Merlin. After his friends, Cador was the knight Merlin respected the most. 

“I mean I didn't choose to have magic. Morgana didn't choose to have magic. Mordred didn't choose to have magic." Merlin said. “It's not power that makes sorcerers dangerous. It's fear . It's growing up knowing that we will be hated by all, and killed for how we were born.”

“Do you have magic?” Lady Esmeralda asked him. 

She was an elderly woman who had lost her husband in the war against Morgana. The first time she and Morgause had taken Camelot, her husband had opposed them. And he had been killed.

“I was born with it.” Merlin swallowed. “And sometimes I still hate myself for who I am.”

The woman gasped, and Gwen squeezed Merlin's hand under the table, comforting him and supporting him.

“What Gwen said about Uther is true.” Merlin said. “I was present when Arthur learned the truth from Queen Ygraine's spirit. I was present when Ygraine confessed that she would gladly have given her life if she had known that was the price asked. And I was there when, back in Camelot, Arthur decided to kill his father to punish him for his actions.”

“But Arthur didn't.” Annoyance said, smiling with satisfaction.

Merlin swallowed. “I told him it was a lie.”

"Why?" Geoffrey asked. “You would have been free.”

“Arthur would have hated himself.” Merlin answered honestly. “And I didn't want him to hate himself. I wanted to protect him from that pain. Sometimes I regret it, but… Arthur would never have forgiven himself.”

“You are loyal.” Lady Esmeralda murmured, looking appreciatively at Merlin. “But should we leave magic free to happen just because there is a good magician?”

“It's not just me.” Merlin shook his head. “Druids are peaceful, I know that the Catha and other magical creatures are peaceful. There are isolated wizards who only hope to see the day when they can be free and accepted. I'm not the only one who still hopes to see a better day."

Lady Esmeralda murmured. 

Another knight, sir Malivore, sighed. “I'm sorry for your pain, Merlin, I really am, but… the magic is too out of control. How can you… understand how to control it?”

“How would you punish a murder done with a sword?” Merlin asked.

Sir Bedivere replied. “With penalty of death or imprisonment.”

“And the same thing will be done with those who use magic as a weapon, instead of a sword. Magic is only a means, and should not be a cause for punishment. However, how it is used is a reason to punish if necessary.” Merlin said. “Murder is always wrong, whether it is done with magic or with a sword or with poison.”

Geoffrey murmured. “Who would decide such penalties?”

Gwen stood up. “When we have the law in place to ensure the safety of all magic users, I intend to establish a court figure to guide the wizards.”

The gaze of those present shifted to Merlin, but it was Lady Esmeralda who asked. “I imagine Merlin is going to be this major figure at court, is that correct?”

Gwen nodded. “I can trust him to be honest and I know he has our best interests at heart. Furthermore, he is the most powerful sorcerer in the world, and is an important figure for the druids.”

"Really?" Geoffrey looked at Merlin interestedly. “I suppose you wish to become the Court Sorcerer, then. Is that correct?"

“I will be anything my queen wants me to be.” Merlin replied dutifully. “And if that means becoming the Court Sorcerer, so be it.”

A smile made its way onto some nobles' face, perhaps recognizing the diplomatic response for what it was.

"I understand." Geoffrey nodded. “Nimueh and Balinor were the last two court sorcerers. I'll see if there are still some books you could check out from their time. I'm afraid Balinor's books are unavailable to you, though. The House of Ambrosius kept their commitments secret. You need a blood relationship.”

“It won't be a problem then.” Merlin replied. “Balinor was my father.”

A stunned silence spread among those present, and then Cador exclaimed. “You were the sorcerer who drove the dragon away from the battle. You are the reason so many of us survived Camlann.”

Merlin shuddered. He had saved many lives, but not the people he loved most.

“Yes, it was him.” Leon stated. “And it was also thanks to him that Morgana's forces did not surround us as they might otherwise have done.”

A few murmurs of approval made their way around the Round Table.

Annoyance churches. “I agree with having Merlin as the Court Sorcerer. Will we read this law before it is made valid?”

“Absolutely, Lord Bleoberis.” Gwen smiled at Annoyance .

Merlin grimaced involuntarily. Between Bleoberis and Annoyance, perhaps Annoyance was better.

"Very good." Lady Esmeralda smiled. “I can't wait to see this new law. My Queen, Court Sorcerer.”

One by one, the nobles exited the room.

Just sir Cador, Bedivere and Malivore remained in the throne room.

“We… just wanted to assure you that this changes nothing.” Sir Malivore said, looking at Merlin.

“Uh… thanks ?” Merlin muttered, looking at the knight in confusion.

It was Sir Bedivere who continued. “I know it was difficult to have magic and live in Camelot. We will not bring resentment for lies told in order to defend your life, especially considering all the times you saved ours,”

Sir Cador continued. “We just wanted you to know… to know that you no longer need to protect your life lying to us. So if you ever need support… Well, King Arthur had claimed you as family . You are part of the royal family , and the knights are at your disposal.”

Sir Malivore nodded. “We certainly will be.”

Merlin swallowed a lump in his throat, fighting back tears. "It is much appreciated. Thank you."

Gwen then intervened. "Perhaps you would like to join us in the drafting of the law, knights. The more we are, the better.”

The knights were quick to nod, clearly excited.

Merlin spoke up. “First… is there something you could do for me?”

Sir Cador smiled. “It would be a great honour, Lord Merlin.”

Merlin grimaced at the title. “Just Merlin will do.”

***

Merlin didn't think he'd ever seen such a strange table before.

Cador, Leon, Percival, Bedivere, and Malivore occupied one side of the table; on the other, Gaius, Geoffrey, Alator and Iseldir were sitting. At the head of the table, on the short end, Merlin and Gwen held the meeting.

Not only were the people present unusual, but the topic under discussion was also not normal.

“If I may,” Geoffrey spoke up, seeking approval from both Gwen and Merlin, “I have taken the liberty of recovering old drafts of previous laws. I think they could be a good discussion point.” 

Gwen approved. “That's a great idea, Geoffrey. At least we won't have to start from scratch.”

Geoffrey then spread out a worn parchment and began to read it.

“ The laws of magic are hereby set forth and instituted, to better guide and protect the magic users of the kingdom of Camelot, under the beneficent guidance of Uther Pendragon, King of Camelot, Balinor Ambrosius, Lord of Dragons, and Nimueh, Priestess of Ancient Religion. ”

Merlin grimaced at the title. “Do we all agree to remove Uther from that title?”

The Knights snorted, amused, though Iseldir and Alator shared Merlin's desire.

"Certainly." Gwen nodded. “Uther has never benevolently guided anyone, magic user or otherwise.”

Geoffrey smiled, before continuing.

“ Wizard Registration: All those who practise magic must register with the magical council of Camelot .”

"No." Merlin spoke, seriously. “We can't have a registry of all the wizards!”

"Why not?" Malivore asked. “Isn't that better for school?”

“Emrys doesn't need a registry to find other wizards.” Iseldir spoke. “He will be able to use his magic.”

“And most importantly, that's how Uther was able to find and flush out all the other wizards when the Great Purge began.” Merlin said. “I will not force wizards to make themselves targets. We can't ask that again. Not when the next king might abolish the law. And not when Uther lied several times throughout his reign to convince other wizards to return to Camelot.”

“Uther wouldn't have done it.” Geoffrey murmured. “He didn't want the warlocks here, why call them?”

“He didn't want warlocks at all." Gwen corrected him. "And not even those who sympathised with them."

“And he betrayed my father like that .” Merlin announced. “He brought him here by deceit and under false pretences of a reconciliation with magic . We will not let this happen again .”

"Moreover." Leon intervened, drawing attention to himself with his calm voice. “We don't want to offer a list to current Camelot members who will be less open to the new law. To those who don't remember what it was like before the Purge."

Geoffrey nodded. “That being the case, and knowing that you can control the situation… I think it is wise to eliminate this law.”

Those present nodded, and Geoffrey continued reading. “ Council of Wizards: A council of wizards is established to work with the king to regulate the use of magic and ensure it is used for the common good. ”

Sir Cador grimaced. "It does not seem right."

Everyone looked at him, Gaius with his eyebrow raised.

Blushing at the sudden attention, Sir Cador said. “We do not ask those who do not have magic, but another talent, to put it for the common good . We have blacksmiths, carpenters and cooks who enjoy their talents privately . Why should wizards put their talents at the service of Camelot?”

“Knights do.” Gaius said, earning two glares from Alator and Iseldir.

Merlin was surprised. Alator, he knew was capable of anger, he had seen it. But Iseldir ? He had seemed so calm, even when Arthur had threatened a child's life.

Not that Arthur would ever follow through on his threat. Maybe that was why Iseldir had shown no anger. He knew Arthur was just trying to be threatening.

“Then we allow anyone who wants to magically hold positions that should act for the common good. Knights with magic, blacksmiths with magic, carpenters with magic, healers with magic..." Sir Malivore grimaced. “I don't know what magic can do, honestly, but the point is: a knight takes an oath to use his talents for the greater good. If a wizard wishes to use his magic for the greater good, he may do so. But having magic shouldn't make them responsible a priori for the common good."

Merlin smiled in approval, Iseldir and Alator looked proudly at the knight.

“Wise words for someone who has never met a wizard.” Iseldir murmured.

“I know Merlin .” Sir Malivore said. “And he shouldn't have been put in a position to help us, and yet he did. Now, I wonder if Gaius wasn't pushing him a little too hard."

“Malivore.” Merlin smiled at him, feeling his ears turn red. “Thank you for your defence, but I made my choice. I protected Arthur, Camelot, and the future of all its citizens. Magic users or not .”

“Wise words, Emrys.” Alator smiled at Merlin.

“So,” Gwen spoke up, folding her hands in front of her thoughtfully. “The basic law seems correct to me. A council of wizards could act as a second Round Table. And, unfortunately, I don't think any of the inhabitants of Camelot know very well about all the branches of magic and how to regulate them.”

Merlin nodded as Gwen looked at him. “I didn't have anyone to teach me. So, I think that's the best thing.” His gaze fell on Alator and Iseldir. “Would you be interested in joining this Council?”

“With great honour.” Alator bowed his head and Iseldir nodded. “There are other magic users who could participate on the council itself.”

"For example?" Percival churches.

“The people of the old creed, for starters.” Iseldir said. “They are a people who worship ancient deities, including many practitioners of magic. The druids and all the different creeds that follow. The Prophets, to guide the seers; The warrior, for those more dangerous rituals; the Amddiffynnydd, for protection practices; and Healers, for rituals involving healing of body and mind.” 

Alator spoke up. “There still exist some disciples of the Priests of Avalon, who pass the will of the Sidhe. The Catha, of course, and some remnants of the Dragon Lords.”

“Uther killed them all.” Gaius said. “No one survived.”

“I refuse to believe that no Dragonlord survived.” Iseldir said. “My people can begin searching for them, if that is what Emrys wishes.”

Merlin thought about it.

Meeting his father's family… it would have been nice. Pleasant, almost.

“Surely they would know my duties as Dragon Lord better than I do.” Merlin said, speaking clearly after a stern look from Gwen at his first word muttered. “It would be helpful to have their support.”

Then, mentally, he added “ Thank you, Iseldir .”

Iseldir smiled at him 

Geoffrey coughed, writing down a few things on the parchment before continuing. “ Education and Training: Official magic schools are created to teach the safe and responsible use of magic. Every magician must complete a training course and obtain a licence to practise magic .”

“No licence.” Percival said. “For the same previous discussion. If they have a licence, they are registered.”

"I agree." Gwen nodded, smiling. “And I think that a school to study the history of magic, the main values ​​​​and the laws that govern it should be mandatory, not only for magicians, but also for those who do not have magic. They must be aware of the risks, but also the advantages and limitations of magic.”

“We cannot assume that magic will solve all our problems.” Leon looked thoughtful. “It seems to me… the best thing even for those who don't have magic.”

Iseldir and Alator nodded.

Geoffrey spoke again. “ Responsible Use of Magic: Magic may only be used for beneficial purposes and not to harm others. The use of magic in battle must be approved by the wizards' council .”

“Maybe we can say that the use of magic in battle is only reserved for those who have undergone formal training?” Sir Bedivere suggested, looking at the three wizards in the room. “I'm not sure, but I think it's dangerous even for the wizard to use magic in battle.”

"It is." Alator nodded. “Only the most powerful and those with the greatest training can fight with magic and sword at the same time.”

“ Ban on Dark Magic ,” Geoffrey took a sip of water before continuing to read, his tone of voice still calm despite all the times he was interrupted, “ The use of dark or evil magic is strictly prohibited and severely punished. Rites and spells involving human sacrifice or mind control are categorically prohibited .”

Gwen pursed her lips. “I can only agree with this law.”

“Hold on,” Merlin interjected, drawing eyes to him, “we mustn't be hasty.”

“ Aren't you against this law? After the Fomorroh and the way you were controlled?” Percival asked, incredulous and stunned.

“That's not what I said.” Merlin said, lacing his fingers together on the table. “But we are glossing over an important aspect. There are natural illnesses that lead the patient to see things that do not exist, facing mental demons that become physical in other people or things. They might set fire to their house, or kill someone they see, but that's not reality. A mental control to prevent those actions, to protect their lives… It seems to me that it could be granted, instead of tying up the patients and hoping that no relative will untie them for treatment.”

Gwen stopped, looking stunned. “I hadn't even thought of that possibility… Thanks, Merlin.” The queen turned towards Iseldir, who raised an eyebrow in evident anticipation. “Are there cases where mind control is performed for this beneficial purpose?”

"They exist." Iseldir nodded. “Our best healers, those who deal with the mind aspect… they know much more about the subject.”

"Very good." Gwen nodded. “Then only those who have been trained for this purpose, and only they, will be able to use this mind control.”

“ Protection of Non-Wizards: Wizards must not use magic to intimidate, manipulate, or harm non-wizards. The rights of non-magicians must be respected and protected .” Geoffrey read.

No one contested this particular law.

Geoffrey then drank another glass of water, before continuing to read, licking his finger to turn the page. “ Jurisdiction of the Council of Wizards: The wizards' council has the power to judge magic-related crimes and impose related sanctions. ”

“We can agree.” Percival nodded. “And what happens if a wizard and a non-wizard have to deal with an issue?”

“I think that in some cases, and only in these particular cases,” Alator murmured, “then the Round Table and the Council of Wizards can carefully evaluate the situation at the same time.”

“That seems like a great idea.” Gwen smiled.

“ Wizard Code of Ethics: All wizards must adhere to a code of ethics that promotes honour, integrity, and respect for life. .” 

"No." Merlin said. “Non-wizards have no such law, nor should wizards have one.”

“Besides,” Percival said, “magicians already follow this principle.”

Iseldir cast an appraising glance at Percival.

“My family were druids.” Percival confirmed the suspicion of the Druid. “And I don't think it helps anyone to be reminded of those values.”

“Well, you would think that after being persecuted for years, their concept of right and wrong would be confused and twisted.” Gaius said, raising his eyebrow.

“I lived while they were persecuted, and the teachings were still the same.” Percival denied, looking at Gaius in surprise.

Even Merlin was surprised. He didn't expect complete acceptance, but he didn't expect all that distrust either. He would have to talk to Gaius about it.

“I just wanted to be sure.” Gaius apologised, glancing at Gwen who nodded.

“ Magical Surveillance: A special group of magicians is charged with monitoring the use of magic and investigating any abuse. ” 

Merlin snorted. “I'd say that's the job of the Council of Wizards.”

"Exactly." Gwen smiled at Merlin, seeming amused by his informal attitude. 

“ Integration of Magic into Daily Life: Magic is integrated into various aspects of daily life, such as agriculture, medicine, and construction, under strict supervision. ” Geoffrey continued, after waiting a few moments and ascertaining that no one had any further comment to make.

“We can agree with this law.” Sir Cador murmured, thoughtfully. “It doesn't seem to me that any duty towards the common good is mentioned.”

"No, in fact." Iseldir nodded. “I suppose it was Nimueh's idea, this. It sounds a lot like the way she talked.”

Merlin felt his heart tighten. He had killed Nimueh and had never truly known her motives.

By taking a different path, could he have had her help and guidance?

Could he have saved her?

“ Collaboration with Other Realms: Camelot promotes collaboration and the exchange of magical knowledge with other realms for the common benefit. ”

Merlin smiled. “This law seems very progressive . It amazes me that none of the other kingdoms ever questioned Uther's crusade against magic, knowing these laws.”

“Evidently, they believed his lies.” Geoffrey murmured.

“ Or maybe , they just lied to continue enjoying an alliance.” Gwen said. “We will see how they respond to the changes we are facing.”

"And if they reacted negatively?" Alator churches.

“Camelot can become a haven for magic users,” Gwen announced, lifting her chin with all the confidence of a queen. “I have no problem nor qualms about fighting for the safety of all its citizens.”

The proud smile towards the queen came from all sides of the room.

Alator bowed his head towards Gwen, clearly respecting her more and more each time.

“ Protection of Magical Creatures: Magical creatures must be protected and respected. Hunting or exploiting magical creatures is prohibited. ”

Merlin nodded. 

No one protested that particular law, and then Geoffrey licked his lips, moistening them, before continuing. “ Integration Programs: Programs are created to help wizards and non-magicians work together and overcome each other's prejudices. ”

No one contested this law, so Gwen smiled, saying. “I'd say it's a great start. Do you have any other proposals to submit at this time?”

“We would prefer to have more time to consider the matter, Queen Gwen.” Iseldir said. “And maybe, be able to call our allies who could provide input.”

"Very good." Gwen nodded, granting them permission. “Then, I will wait to hear from you to further implement this law.”

With a bow, one by one the people left the room.

Gwen motioned for Merlin to stay back.

“What did you need from Sir Cador, Sir Malore and Sir Bedivere?” She asked, intrigued.

Merlin smiled. He had left to confer with them.

“Besides asking them to bring Alator and Iseldir here,” Merlin replied, smiling when he saw Gwen sigh tiredly, “I sent them Gilli's location. After you gave me permission to contact him… I searched for his location with my magic. I find it easy to find magic users I've already interacted with. He was pretty close to Camelot, so I asked them to go get it.”

"Very good." Gwen smiled. “This makes what I'm about to do a lot easier. As a member of the royal family, you need an escort for your protection. Just as you will do as a Court Sorcerer.”

“I don't need an escort.” Merlin denied it. “ I am my own escort.”

“It's the customs.” Gwen denied, waving her hand as if wiping away Merlin's protests. “Leon and Percival will be my escort as Arthur's chosen knights,” once again, Gwen's smile turned painful as she spoke her husband's name, a quiver in her voice, “but Cador, Malivore and Bedivere were chosen by you .”

“No, Malivore and Bedivere were already Uther's knights. Young recruits, but still..." Merlin denied. "I only s uggested that Arthur take them under his wing."

“You chose them.” Gwen raised an eyebrow. “And Cador, you literally brought him here from a herb collection.”

“I really should stop finding knights while I gather herbs.” Merlin commented. “It seems like a bad habit.”

“There are worse ones.” Gwen snorted in amusement, barely holding back a laugh. “However, Sir Cador, Malivore and Bedivere are proud and eager to be your escort.”

“Have you already asked them?” Merlin blinked. " When ?"

“When I heard your story and decided it was time to change things for you and anyone who suffers like you.” Gwen said. “So… last night?”

“You are a horrible person.” Merlin murmured. “ Really, extremely mean .”

“I'm your queen too, Merlin.” Gwen rise. “You shouldn't be so disrespectful towards me.”

“Well, no one has ever been able to control me, so… don't get your hopes up about that.” Merlin smiled. “By the way… what did you think of the meeting?”

“Gaius surprised me." Gwen said. “He may not have control over his magic anymore, but he should be happy where you are concerned. You will be free, I don't see why he should be that way… against this law.”

Merlin  doubled over. He had thought the same thing. The fact that Gwen had noticed it too, though, was significant.

"I'm not sure. I'll talk to him about it tonight." Merlin said.

Gwen placed a hand on his shoulder. "Just do it. But know that no matter his motives, you have friends who are happy for you. Who knows you deserve to be free.”

Merlin smiled, fighting back tears, when there was a knock on the door.

Sir Cador's head appeared. “My queen, Lord Merlin, I apologise for the intrusion, but Gilli has just arrived at the castle. Lord Merlin had requested to be informed immediately.”

Merlin wrinkled his nose. He hadn't said anything like that at all.

Gwen smiled amusedly. “Very good, Sir Cador. You can both go.”

Merlin gave her an angry, betrayed look, but followed Cador out of the room anyway.

“So… are you my escort?” Merlin asked, raising an eyebrow at Cador.

“Yes, together with Sir Bedivere and Sir Malivore.” Cador confirmed. “It was a great honour when Lady Gwen asked us to protect you.”

“I don't need protection, I hope you know that.” Merlin turned to look at the knight, who smiled amusedly.

“It's not much different from when King Arthur asked us to protect you, Merlin.” Cador shrugged, looking both humble and amused.

Merlin wasn't sure he entirely appreciated it.

“You are loved, and I personally know I would have protected you regardless.” Cador continued speaking. “Having the order from the king first and the queen now just makes everything a lot easier .”

"Thank you, Cador." Merlin smiled. "You are a good friend."

"It's just what you deserve to get, Merlin." Cador replied. "You've been a good friend the entire time we've known each other, to everyone you've counted among your friends, bar none. I'm just returning the favour."

"I see you don't call me Lord Merlin now." Merlin commented, instead of responding to the praise and comment of Cador. His ears, despite his best efforts, still blushed, still not used to receiving praise.

“I have no reason to do that now.” Cador smiled amusedly. "There is no one who would enjoy your reaction with me."

“You are an evil person.” Merlin decided. "I've noticed that there's a pretty high concentration here in Camelot. Especially among my friends."

"Maybe it's karma ." Cador suggested. "Or maybe it's just us appreciating you as you deserve , while you react by calling us evil. Maybe you should think about this ."

"Or maybe I should change friends." Merlin retorted, making Cador laugh.

"Gilli is in here." Cador said, pointing to a room. "I thought it would be safer. Bedivere and Malivore are guarding the rooms of Alator and Iseldir."

"Thank you, Cador." Merlin nodded. "I appreciate it."

Then, he walked into the room, smiling when he saw Gilli.

He had grown since the last time they saw each other.

He was confident, Merlin could see it from his posture and the way he looked around. He was no longer afraid nor had anything to prove. 

He was at peace.

And, soon, he would also be free.

“ Emrys .” Gilli welcomed him, smiling when he saw Merlin's grimace. “I have been informed of your title in my travels. Many were envious to hear that I had met Emrys himself. And that he had guided me to a better path.”

“ Lucky you .” Merlin murmured laconically. “I feel quite privileged.” Then, tilting his head, he asked. "Where have you been?"

“After Camelot I decided to try to find a better path for myself.” Gilli said. “I had a gift that I wanted to use, because I was chosen to have this gift. I needed to know the reason.”

Merlin nodded. He could certainly identify with both desires and thoughts.

“So I travelled. I looked for the Druids. They told me that if my path had intertwined with that of Emrys, there had to be a reason.” Gilli continued talking. “I continued towards Avalon. I had dreamed of the lake and a woman talking to me, and so I decided to follow that dream. I thought it might have been a tip. Having arrived in Avalon, its Lady spoke to me. She said that you had loved her and that she had loved you."

“ Freya .” Merlin murmured, smiling softly. “It was Freya.”

“Yes, she said that she appreciated much more the name she had obtained from her mother, rather than the title the wizards had forced upon her.” Gilli nodded. “Something she thought she had in common with you , Merlin.”

“And she's not wrong.” Merlin nodded. “I don't know what it means to be Emrys. I received no guidance nor instruction, either about my role or about magic.”

"I was told." Gilli nodded. “I accepted Freya's proposal to become her disciple.”

“Do you belong to the disciples of the people of Avalon?” Merlin asked, blinking in surprise. 

"Yes." Gilli nodded. “I thought it might be… helpful .”

"It is." Merlin said. “I was wondering if, at this point, you would be interested in participating in a Wizarding Council here in Camelot, to protect magic users in the kingdom.”

Gilli smiled. “It would be my greatest honour.”

***

They continued their conversation about what Gilli had learned in his time away from Camelot and how it could aid the writing of the law and its application as they walked through the halls. After he dropped Gilli off at his room and said he would tell Gwen about his presence, Merlin set off towards Gaius' chambers.

He knew that after being appointed Court Sorcerer, he would no longer be allowed to sleep in the room above Gaius’. Gwen had implied that appearances wouldn't let him.

But, until then, Merlin could enjoy the last moments of peace.

Then, he saw Gaius and his inner peace cracked.

“Merlin, my boy.” Gaius smiled at him. “I know we need to discuss what happened today.”

Merlin nodded, sitting down on the wooden stool, dreading the words Gaius would soon utter.

“I think I owe you an apology.” Gaius spoke. “Not just for the first few days you spent here in Camelot. But also for what happened today. Especially with what happened today.”

“I… it doesn't matter what happened before, it's in the past and you had very good reasons for the behaviour you had.” Merlin murmured. “I don't understand today , though. Don't you want to be free again?”

“I haven't regularly used magic in over twenty years, Merlin.” Gaius murmured. “I can still live without using it.”

“Don't you want me to be free, then?” Merlin whispered, looking down, “I don't know what it means to be free, Gaius. I don't know what it's like to do magic outdoors without fear of being killed or betrayed or sold. And I want to know ." Merlin snorted bitterly. “I just want to know what it feels like , for once in my life.”

“I know, Merlin, I know.” Gaius said. “I'm sorry, of cours e I'm happy for you. Of course I'm happy that you can finally love having magic without the fear that grips you. Of course I am proud of the results you have achieved, my boy, brave and intelligent as you have always been. Of course I am proud that everyone can see your qualities, that you can be recognized for them.”

“So why all the protests?” Merlin was excited. Gaius had been his only father figure, and hearing those words, spoken with that intensity and with that look, was the best thing Merlin could have ever thought of.

“I'm afraid of what they might do to me .” Gaius confessed. “I have allowed many wizards to die , while I stood idle under Uther's reign. I protected Balinor, true, out of respect for my friend. But… I never helped Nimueh, her family, or her followers. The other Dragonlords. Many innocent people were taken in the night… All of them… I did nothing to protect them.”

“And now you are afraid that they will take revenge on you.” Merlin understood.

The peace that had invaded him before returned, stronger than it was a moment ago.

"I understand." Merlin nodded seriously. “Well, I think the only thing you can do is finally let go of your fear. Unlike many wizards, you have not let your hatred consume you and your fear warp you. This is already a significant result. Are there any other reasons why you stayed here?”

“I… I promised to Ygraine that I would take care of Arthur.” Gaius murmured. “And I wanted to fulfil that promise.”

“ And you did.” Merlin nodded. “And with the role Arthur was to play in the prophecy that has affected my entire life, the prophecy that they have believed to be true since its prediction… I would say you have played your part in our destiny.”

“Do you think so?” Gaius asked.

“I think I couldn't bear to protect Arthur if he had only Uther as his guide.” Merlin said, sure of what he was saying. “ Besides , he would have hated magic too much to even be open to the possibility.”

“Maybe…” Gaius muttered.

“I think it's time you got over the old pain.” Merlin smiled softly. “And you're calling an old friend.”

“ Alice ?” Gaius asked, raising an eyebrow at Merlin.

“There is no reason for you and her to be separated now .” Merlin tilted his head. “And I really want to know all the embarrassing stories about you. Alice promised them to me, but then she didn't have the chance to tell me."

“Of course she did.” Gaius sighed. 

Merlin laughed, amused and relieved, before standing up and saying. “I'm going to get some sleep. I know I'll have dinner with Gwen again later, so..."

“It was an emotional day.” Gaius nodded. “Rest, my boy.”

Merlin smiled at him, before advancing towards his room.

“And, Merlin?”

Merlin turned, meeting the old doctor's proud gaze.

“I am extremely proud of the man you have become.”

A blush crept onto Merlin's cheeks. “Thank you, Gaius.” Then, after a moment's pause, he added. “But I also have you to thank for the man I have become.”

***

Merlin entered Gwen's chambers irritably.

Once again , Cador had escorted him through the corridors.

“You know, Leon and Percival don't accompany you wherever you go.” Merlin huffed, sitting down at the table and resting his head on the table.

“I think you just hurt your head.” Gwen's comment was amused, while she still managed to seem disinterested in the situation.

And Merlin had hit his head too hard. "No." He answered anyway, only to be difficult.

Gwen laughed.

“Dinner will be here soon.” His friend told him, making Merlin look up. “We can discuss some things .”

“That's right, Gilli is part of the people of Avalon.” Merlin said. “And he will be part of the magical council."

“This is fantastic news.” Gwen smiled. “As I understand it, they were the hardest to find. The fact that Gilli came to you on his own… it's much better.”

"It is." Merlin smiled. “What did you want to discuss?”

“You will be the Court Sorcerer.” Gwen said. “You will be ordered a new wardrobe. I thought I'd keep it simple, similar to the clothing you already have, but more refined.”

Merlin nodded. “Okay, I can understand that. Playing the part and all that.”

"Exactly." Gwen seemed encouraged by Merlin's quick acceptance. “As a member of the royal family, you will have an escort and a servant.”

A flash of terror washed over Merlin. “Tell me you're not giving me George !”

“I'm sorry, but he is the best servant we have and the highest ranking.” Gwen said. “The only other alternative would be to give… yourself .”

“And I can be my own servant!” Merlin promised. 

“You can't , unfortunately.” Gwen told him. “Again, appearances matter. Additionally, George is open to the idea of ​​magic. And he knows you pretty well.”

Merlin grimaced. “I assume you know that…”

“That you were friends and that you were pretending the opposite so that Arthur would give you detention with George to learn the job when you were annoying and, above all, choose him when you were away, thinking that this was seen as punishment and revenge?” Gwen tilted her head.

"Yes, more or less." Merlin nodded. “I know George was loyal and would never betray Arthur. And I didn't want to take chances with servants I didn't know.”

“And I appreciate it.” Gwen said. “So, can you bear to have him as your servant? I need someone loyal who would never kill you, for any offer. I don't want to take chances with servants I don't know."

Merlin blinked. “Did you just use my own words against me?”

"Yes." Gwen nodded. “It's what I do.”

“Well, you win .” Merlin rolled his eyes. “If the guards are to be outside my door, and George is to be at my complete disposal, I would like them to sleep in adjoining rooms, or even in antechambers. Surely there are rooms like that.”

“Indeed, there are.” Gwen smiled. “One not too far from here, and it's the one I entrusted to you, knowing how you would react. It has two rooms, one for the servant and one for the knight.”

“I will protect both rooms with my magic.” Merlin said. “I know from first-hand experience that servants are attacked to take revenge on the lord they serve.”

"You and I both." Gwen nodded seriously. “And I can only agree with this choice. Now, before you eat, I would like you to read this first draft of the law.”

Gwen handed him the parchment she had written on, and Merlin took it to read.

As he read, blue eyes scanning the page intently, he bit the tip of his tongue and tapped his pen to the tip of his nose.

The laws of magic are hereby set forth and established, to better guide and protect the magic users of the kingdom of Camelot, under the leadership of the rulers of Camelot, Guinevere Pendragon, and Dragon Lord and Member of the Royal Family Merlin Ambrosius Pendragon.

General Laws on Magic

Council of Wizards: A council of magicians is established whose duty it is to ensure that magic is not used to harm others. Any wizard who wishes to hold an official position in the kingdom must vow to use his or her talents, in whatever form they appear, for the greater good.

The Council will have members from all the fundamental peoples of magic, including wizards whose talent for a particular branch of magic is particularly evident. In this way, they will be able to provide the best support to the people of Camelot who require their training.

Education and Training : Official magic schools are created to teach the safe and responsible use of magic. Other schools will be created to teach the history, laws and main values ​​that magic must respect. Every magician must complete a training course in order to have control of his magic and not encounter accidents that could injure him or others .

Read about the Use of Magic

Responsible Use of magic: magic cannot be used to harm another's property or person. The use of magic in battle is permitted only to those who have undergone the proper training and have been approved by the Council of Wizards .

Ban on Dark Magic : The use of dark or evil magic is strictly prohibited and severely punished. Rites and spells involving human sacrifice or mind control are categorically prohibited . 

Only a few exceptions to this prohibition are highlighted, namely when the Bryn, or his disciple, uses the ritual to prevent violent actions against himself or others by a patient. Each case will be taken under close scrutiny by the Wizards' Council and dealt with accordingly. Any violation will be punished accordingly.

Protection of Non-Mages: Wizards must not use magic to intimidate, manipulate, or harm non-wizards. The rights of non-magicians must be respected and protected .

Governance and Enforcement Laws

Jurisdiction of the Council of Wizards : The wizards' council has the power to judge magic-related crimes and impose related sanctions. In certain and particular cases, the Council of Wizards may have to collaborate with the Round Table to ensure the most objective and fair judgement possible, without prejudice of any kind.

Magical Surveillance : A special group of magicians is charged with monitoring the use of magic and investigating any abuse.

Integration of Magic into Daily Life : Magic is integrated into various aspects of daily life, such as agriculture, medicine, and construction, under strict supervision.

Laws for Collaboration and Inclusion

Collaboration with Other Kingdoms : Camelot promotes collaboration and the exchange of magical knowledge with other realms for the common benefit.

Protection of Magical Creatures : Magical creatures must be protected and respected. Hunting or exploiting magical creatures is prohibited.

Integration Programs : Programs are created to help wizards and non-magicians work together and overcome each other's prejudices.

“Merlin Ambrosius Pendragon?” Merlin finally reacted, looking up shocked and excited.

“You are an Ambrosius through your father and Arthur has adopted you, making you a Pendragon by association.” Gwen smiled sweetly. “And I know Arthur would have had it made legal if he could.”

“Yes, he would have.” Merlin murmured excitedly. “I… I don't even know what to say.”

“You don't have to say anything.” Gwen assured him. “Just knowing that you're happy is enough.”

"I am." Merlin promised. “I don't think I've ever been so happy before.”

There was a knock, and George entered the room with two trays.

“I have brought dinner, my lady and my lord.”

“Very good, George.” Gwen smiled sweetly. 

"Thank you." Merlin added, knowing full well how gratitude for small gestures mattered to the servant.

"Of course." George bowed his head, before moving to the side of the room to begin cleaning.

“I had other comments regarding the law.” Merlin said. “I think it's fine overall. But we have a knight code and a healer code. If we were to follow the same line, then I think we would need a code for knights and healers who use magic.”

"That is an excellent idea." Gwen looked thoughtful. “But neither you nor I know enough to have a guideline.”

"No." Merlin agreed. “But Alice was a doctor who used healing magic like no one else could, and Iseldir has already said that he will bring experts here to Camelot. The same goes for Alator.” 

Gwen nodded. “Yes, that seems like a good idea.”

Merlin smiled. “I've always had brilliant ideas, I just got ignored most of the time.”

“Well, not anymore,” Gwen promised. "We are a family . And you are just as important as the rest of us. You will no longer be ignored. I can promise you this ."

Merlin swallowed, embarrassed and happy at the same time. “Thank you, Gwen. You are the best sister and friend I could have ever asked for.”

“And you are the best brother and friend I could have ever asked for.” Gwen replied.

Merlin smiled, feeling a warmth wash over him.

He knew that that warmth was due to the certainty that he was doing the right thing, in the right way.

He just wished Arthur was there to see it.

Chapter Text

It had all happened so fast. 

A moment earlier, Merlin had joked with Gwen, talking about the absurd jobs Arthur had made him do while he continued to unconsciously avoid Lancelot. 

Merlin was happy that Lancelot knew about his magic, yet Merlin wasn't used to people knowing and accepting him.

So, he had Gwen involved in his personal plan to avoid Lancelot, while trying to figure out if the two had already started a relationship.

The next moment, however, Gwen came out of Morgana's room in tears and said that the girl didn't wake up.

And now, Merlin was watching Gaius try to figure out what was happening to the girl.

“Could it be the work of magic?” Merlin asked, looking at his unconscious friend. 

“You know that I prefer to have all the information before making such a hypothesis , Merlin.” Gaius said, giving him a warning look.

“Gaius, she didn't hit her head, she wasn't tired the day before and her sleep is perfectly balanced.” Merlin listed. “She showed no signs of brain damage! And she can't have a concussion.”

"I know." Gaius sighed, rubbing Morgana's head. “But it could have been caused by other things.”

“Yes, like magic .” Merlin hissed, only stopping when the door opened, and Uther strode into the room.

Arthur followed soon after, motioning for Merlin to follow him outside.

“Why are you taking me away?” Merlin asked, confused.

“A man told me he has a remedy to cure all ills.” Arthur told him, speaking softly and firmly. “Gaius warned me about those who take advantage of the family's pain, but… I'm inclined to give him a chance.”

“How could he know that Morgana is sick?” Merlin asked softly, looking around. “Not even all the servants know, Arthur. Me, Gwen and George are the only ones who know about it. And then there's you, your father, Gaius."

“And Lancelot , I suppose.” Arthur raised an eyebrow, despite himself managing to muster enough amusement.

“He would never betray your trust.” Merlin denied it. “He killed a gryphon to prove he was worthy of serving you.”

“Serving Camelot , that would be more accurate, but… I get your point.” Arthur murmured thoughtfully. “What are you suggesting?”

“How does he know that Morgana is ill, if none of those who know about it have warned him?” Merlin asked rhetorically.

Arthur's eyes widened. “Only the person who attacked her would know.”

“Or maybe poisoned her.” Merlin murmured thoughtfully. “Gwen was talking about a mysterious man who had given Morgana a bouquet of flowers the night before she got sick.”

“Do you think they were poisonous flowers?” Arthur asked anxiously. “Or that Morgana is allergic to them?”

“No, flower allergy is instantaneous.” Merlin explained. “But, well… if someone used magic to make them dangerous, then…”

“What does Gaius think?” Arthur asked.

“Gaius will always deny the involvement of magic.” Merlin protested. “Lady Helena was perfectly normal , with Valiant I was just protective, the water curse was just a bacteria , and the gryphon might as well have been a wild animal. ”

“And you are always right in these cases.” Arthur murmured. “I will trust you. What can we do?"

“You can't arrest this person without evidence.” Merlin said. “Can you describe him? Or his name, perhaps?”

“Uh, he has a bad burn on the side of his face.” Arthur replied, thinking. “Curly blonde hair, and I didn't notice much else. The burn is pretty bad. His name is… Edwin, I think.”

“How old would you give him?” Merlin asked, tilting his head.

"Why?" Arthur asked, looking suspiciously at Merlin.

“I only know that in the early days, pyres were very common to punish wizards.” Merlin said slowly. “Edwin may be one of the few who survived.”

“No survivors were found.” Arthur said.

“No one who was blamed for magic would stay here .” Merlin pointed out. “It's like suicide . But… think. What would be the point of cursing Morgana and then offering to cure her?”

“To get closer to us.” Arthur said quickly. “If he has magic, he would like to kill my father.”

“I have discovered that only those with a personal vendetta try to kill one of you.” Merlin shrugged. 

“So, what, Edwin is an avenging angel?” Arthur raised an eyebrow at Merlin, clearly not happy with his statement.

“ I mean Edwin could have been a victim himself before he decided to take revenge.” Merlin threw his hands in the air, "I'm not saying he's right to kill Morgana, Arthur."

Arthur snorted in disbelief. “You do realise you just said you think he was right to kill my father , right?”

"I have never said that !" Merlin protested, offended.

“But you thought about it .” Arthur raised an eyebrow at Merlin, daring him to deny it.

“Even if I did, which you have no proof of , it doesn't change anything.” Merlin shook his head. “We have to find a way to demonstrate that this Edwin is the real culprit.”

"But how? If he heals Morgana… My father will welcome him to court for as long as he wishes. And if he knew he was to blame for Morgana's illness in the first place... he would kill him without thinking."

Merlin remained silent.

Arthur was right.

They could not tell the truth to Uther, a truth that was still only a suspicion at that moment, without incurring a death sentence.

Merlin was really starting to wonder if he should let someone kill Uther and then put the effort into making Arthur recognize the wonder of thinking before killing someone .

Maybe someone should have taught it to Uther.

“Okay, so.” Merlin thought quickly. “I don't think Gaius will be successful with his methods. Instead, I think you'll have to call Edwin.”

“The one who poisoned her ?” Arthur asked, clearly sceptical.

“Precisely, him.” Merlin nodded. “Every poison has its antidote, Arthur, even when it involves magic. We need to understand what the antidote is.”

"Very good." Arthur nodded. “I will tell my father about this person, and then I will keep him under control. I will offer your services as an assistant, if that's okay with you.”

"Certain. Maybe even more protection?” Merlin suggested.

“Lancelot can stay with you, of course.” Arthur rolled his eyes. “But I think there are better ways to get his attention.”

Merlin blushed. “It's not a date ! He's interested in Gwen !”

“And yet I never see them alone together.” Arthur raised an eyebrow. “Lancelot is only with Gwen when you are with Gwen. And why isn't he consoling her now?”

“Because she is always by Morgana's side, and Lancelot cannot get close to her.” Merlin explained.

Arthur rolled his eyes, before sighing and humming. "As you like."

As the prince walked away, Merlin decided it was cute that Arthur trusted him so much.

It felt like being part of a team.

***

As Merlin had suspected, Edwin used magic.

“So, do you know anyone named Edwin?” Merlin asked, as he sat playing with the gryphon, with Nimueh standing before them.

“What did you say?” Nimueh asked, blinking, clearly surprised.

“I was just wondering, if by chance, you knew a boy named Edwin who survived Uther's Purge.” Merlin said, before running a hand down the side of his face. “He has a big burn here.”

" Oh ." Nimueh closed her eyes for a moment, placing a hand on her chest. "His parents practised dark magic. It is a branch that I have never allowed my followers to learn. Too dark, too cruel . But they had no such problems and no qualms when the Law allowed magic. And none of the wizards would actually kill one of ours. Balinor and I, Uther's Court Sorcerers, well, we only made anyone who broke our rules pay a fine or a prison term. They abused our good heart.” Nimueh sighed sadly. “When Uther declared war on magic, they used a powerful dark ritual to kill many guards. But they were injured by the magic used, and Uther had them burned.”

Merlin remained silent, realising that the story was painful for the witch. Hesitant, he sent a tendril of magic, of affection, towards Nimueh, making her smile through her tears.

“Edwin was their son. He hadn't practised magic yet, and Uther didn't want to kill him, or hurt him. But he threw himself on the pyre to save his parents. Uther sent him away.” Nimueh looked down. “I wanted to educate him, but, well… his parents had hated me for a long time, and Edwin didn't stay with me. I don't know where he went, but…” Nimueh sighed. "Why did you want to know about Edwin?"

“He's in Camelot.” Merlin said. “He almost killed Lady Morgana, then he saved her and now he serves in the palace because Uther loves him. I think he wants to kill Uther, and now I almost have confirmation of that.”

“Does he know you have magic?” Nimueh asked, suddenly concerned. 

"No." Merlin shook his head. “I've learned that it's better to see and then reveal myself. And I suspected him, I didn't want to give him extra weapons.”

"You did well." Nimueh nodded. “And, as powerful as you are… you are not on Edwin's level, I'm afraid. He must have studied for a long time, immersing himself in the darkest magic possible to prepare his revenge.”

"I imagined." Merlin murmured. “But I also know that… he could hurt Arthur, and he already hurt Morgana once.” Merlin's thoughts went to Lancelot. “And there are very loyal knights who could be hurt in the process.”

“The plan worked, then? Is Lancelot a knight?” Nimueh shot an amused look at Merlin, who felt himself blushing.

“Lancelot is in love with Gwen. It will never change." Merlin looked down, sighing sadly.

“I'll come with you.” Nimueh decreed. “You have already established that I am perfectly capable of camouflaging myself and of not being recognized by my old acquaintances . I can protect you from Edwin.”

Merlin smiled, lifting his head. “But this is wonderful !”

Nimueh sighed. “I wouldn't have to do this if you hadn't invited a sorcerer to Camelot.”

“Sorcerers invite themselves to Camelot.” Merlin shrugged. “I can only limit the damage.”

***

Merlin was walking through the corridors with Nimueh when Lancelot came alongside him.

“Arthur just arrested Edwin. He poisoned Uther the same way he poisoned Morgana!” Lancelot took Merlin's hand. “Gaius is with the king now. What do you want me to do?"

Then, Lancelot's gaze fell on Nimueh, narrowing his eyes. "And you are?"

Merlin frowned at Lancelot's hostile tone, usually jovial and open towards everyone.

Nimueh, for her part, was smiling. “I'm like Merlin and I want to help him with this whole situation.”

Lancelot relaxed. “Okay.” He nodded, turning and saying. “I will give you space to work.”

He hugged Merlin, making him blush, before walking away at a brisk pace.

“And he's in love with Gwen, right?” Nimueh laughed. “He was jealous of me.”

“Lancelot is not jealous.” Merlin quickly denied it. “He's too honourable to get jealous.”

Nimueh sighed wearily, before walking with determined steps towards Uther's chambers.

There, to her great disappointment, but not much surprise, she saw Gaius bent over Uther.

“Merlin, where have you been?” Gaius exclaimed, not noticing Nimueh, but seeing his own ward. “Uther needs magical healing, Merlin.”

“Do you want Merlin to use magic on Uther ?” Nimueh exclaimed, growling at Gaius.

The physician gasped, turning and noticing his old acquaintance. “Nimueh, I…”

" No !" Nimueh exclaimed. “If Uther knew about the gift Merlin possessed, he would have him burned ! And you want Merlin to save him?”

“Arthur is not ready to be king.” Gaius said. “What if he lost Uther to a sorcerer ? His heart would never open to magic.”

“And that's your interest, right?” Nimueh replied angrily. "Don't lose your old friend? Only the future of Albion."

“I care about Merlin's safety.” Gaius exclaimed.

“Then don't ask him to put himself in danger for Uther !” Nimueh replied. "I will do it."

Merlin looked at her in surprise. "Really?"

“I have magic. May I remind Uther that… Well, I never approved of Edwin's parents' magic.” Nimueh sighed. “Besides, I have something to settle with him.”

Nimueh raised her eyes, looking at Merlin. "Trust me. I can take care of it."

Merlin nodded, before handing a box from the desk to Nimueh. “Edwin used this, and it has a lot of magic in it. You have to protect the magical relics, right?”

“And protect the world from them.” Nimueh smiled. "Well done. At least I'm glad you were listening."

Gaius looked at Merlin. “Get to Arthur. I… I'll stay here and make sure everything is going well.”

"Alright." Merlin nodded.

He looked at Nimueh, not knowing how to thank her for her efforts to heal Uther, knowing how frightened Merlin would be by the idea of ​​using magic in close proximity to the tyrant.

"I know." Nimueh smiled. “Go to your knight.”

Blushing, Merlin left the room.

****

“My father is fine.” Arthur said as he entered his chambers, while Merlin was busy setting up his desk, looking at the park below, where Lancelot and Gwen were talking together.

“He obviously killed Edwin, but I think he deserved it, since it led to the near-death of two members of my family, plus yours and Gaius's.” Arthur continued speaking, stopping when he noticed that Merlin wasn't reacting to his words.

“And I decided that I would take up weaving.” Arthur said. “You and I will join a travelling company on the roads and help smugglers in exchange for rare fabrics.”

Merlin didn't react, and Arthur moved closer to the window.

“If you're jealous, you can just say so.”

"No." Merlin shook his head. "It does not matter. He is Lancelot, and I am just me . He can do better.”

"Do not say that." Arthur shook his head. “Lancelot is in love with you, Merlin, you're just too blind to see it.”

Merlin snorted, before standing up and saying. “I think I'll go gather some herbs for Gaius.”

"Now?" Arthur asked, surprised. "Why?" 

"Because I want to avoid this conversation." Merlin answered honestly, heading towards the door.

“You can run away from the conversation, but not from your feelings!” Arthur shouted after him.

"Watch me." Merlin murmured, exiting through one of the many doors, avoiding the main courtyard so as not to have to personally witness Lancelot and Gwen's rendezvous.

***

Gathering herbs was relaxing.

Merlin couldn't name too many incidents that happened while he was gathering herbs. Apart from the gryphon, in reality, Merlin couldn't name any.

Then, of course, a scream made him reconsider his stance on the situation.

Running towards the source, Merlin saw a curious sight.

Two nobles had been targeted by bandits. But a man had already intervened to help them.

Seeing that the bandits were busy with the man, Merlin worried about the nobles’ wounds, bandaging the young girl's cut.

“Are you okay?” Merlin asked them.

"Yes." The girl replied. “Thank you for healing us. And thanks to you too, knight, for protecting and saving us.”

“Ah, all for a troubled young girl.” The young man winked at the girl before introducing himself. “My name is Gwaine. I am a wanderer I fear, not a knight.”

"Oh. you fight like one of them.” The girl's father said, narrowing his eyes at them. “And who are you, young man?”

Merlin blushed at the sudden attention towards him.

Especially from the young warrior. He had long, wavy, brown hair, and very intense brown eyes.

Merlin bowed his head. “My name is Merlin. I am the servant of Prince Arthur of Camelot.”

“That's where we're headed.” The girl smiled sweetly at him. “My name is Sophia, this is my father Aulfric. We were travelling, and… we were attacked.”

“Are you… Uther's allies?” Merlin asked hesitantly.

“You have recently become the prince's servant, haven't you?” Aulfric asked amused.

“I haven’t been his servant very long, I'm afraid.” Merlin admitted. “But I can guarantee you an audience with the king.” Then, tilting his head, he corrected himself. “The prince can grant you an audience with the king. I can let the prince know that you are here."

“Thank you.” Sophia smiled. “And will our saviour join us?”

Merlin turned to Gwaine, finding him already looking at Merlin. “I don't see why not. The people of Camelot seem incredible.”

Merlin blushed again.

***

“So…” Merlin said, walking through Arthur's chambers. “Are there any guests of Uther? Sophia and Aulfric. Nobles.” 

Arthur stared at him. “And you know this… how ?”

“They were attacked in the woods, and I healed them.” Merlin explained. “Gwaine saved them, he's in Camelot too, but he doesn't want to see the king.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow. “ Excuse me ?”

“They were attacked in the woods by some bandits and are demanding to see the king.” Merlin repeated.

“No, I understood that part, and I will inform my father.” Arthur waved his hand. “ Who is Gwaine ?”

“A wanderer.” Merlin replied, blushing. “He fights very well, though. While I treated their wounds, he was keeping at least ten bandits busy all by himself.”

Apart from some help from Merlin, in fact, Gwaine had done everything alone.

“What happened to Lancelot ?” Arthur asked, frowning. “Do you have a crush on Gwaine now?”

“I don't have a crush on Gwaine, I simply appreciate his courage and his will to protect the innocent. Even despite his hatred for the nobles, he still intervened to protect two." Merlin said. “That takes honour .”

“Are you going to have me knight another common man ?” Arthur asked, blinking.

“Gwaine doesn't want to be a knight, he hates nobles, why should he want to serve one of them?" Merlin snorted, staring at Arthur in disbelief.

“Okay, you have a crush on this guy Gwaine.” Arthur informed him.

Merlin, blushing, said. “Don't you have to tell your father about Sophia and Aulfric?”

Arthur left the room laughing.

Once his blush had subsided, Merlin left as well, heading to the physician's rooms.

Opening the door, however, he wondered if he wasn't interrupting something: Lancelot and Gwaine were staring at each other with narrowed eyes, while Morgana and Gwen were sitting not far away, smilingly observing the scene.

"What happens?" Merlin asked, looking around in confusion. "Are you all ok?"

"Very good, Merls.” Gwaine said, raising an eyebrow at Lancelot as he spoke and making Merlin blush at the nickname.

Morgana turned to look at him. “Who are the two nobles that Gwen helped settle?”

“Sophia and Aulfric. Gwaine saved them in the woods.” Merlin said, pointing to Gwaine. “Arthur was quite impressed with your swordsmanship.”

“Well, with the right motivation, I might even consider challenging him.” Gwaine smiled, moving closer to Merlin. "And you?"

“And I what ?” Merlin asked, tilting his head.

“Are you impressed with my swordsmanship?” Gwaine winked, making Merlin blush and Gwen laugh, for some reason.

Merlin, aware that his face was extremely red, turned sharply towards Morgana. "Why did you want to know about Uther's guests?"

“I… saw that woman before.” Morgana said cautiously, glancing at the other people in the room. “She has to go.”

“Uther already said they are welcome as long as they want.” Merlin shrugged. “Do you think she could kill Arthur?”

“Would a girl really try to kill Arthur?” Gwaine looked sceptical. “Are you… sure?”

"It would not be the first time." Merlin shrugged.

“For a girl to try to kill Arthur, or for someone to try to kill Arthur?” Lancelot asked, blinking.

"Yes." Merlin replied, before looking at Morgana expectantly.

"I'm sure. And only him." Morgana replied.

"Well. We just need to limit their time together.” Merlin shrugged.

“I know how to do it.” Morgana stood up, motioning for Gwen to follow her, and leaving Merlin alone with the two boys.

“Uh, have you met before?” Merlin asked, looking at them anxiously.

"No, this is the first time." Gwaine smiled, moving closer to Merlin and holding him in a half hug. “Do you happen to know where I can stay, Merls?”

“Oh, you can share my room with me.” Merlin offered. "It's not a problem for me."

Lancelot intervened. “I don't think that's a good idea.”

“Why not, Lancelot?” Gwaine smiled, still holding Merlin with one arm.

After a moment of silence, Lancelot said. “Because… I'm already there.”

Merlin frowned. “You have been living in your own home for a few months, Lancelot.”

“Well, there's a draft, and I wanted to stay here until I fix the wall.” Lancelot said.

Merlin blinked. “I mean, the room isn't that small . If we push the bed to one side, there should be room for two mattresses. We can get them from the servants' rooms.”

“So, it looks like everything is settled!” Gwaine smiled jovially. “Unless Lancelot has a problem with me being here.”

"No." Lancelot murmured. "No problem."

Merlin swallowed, looking at the two with a confused and worried look.

He had no idea what was happening, but he knew that neither of them agreed with the choice.

“ Merlin !”

Saved once again by Arthur, Merlin thought, relieved.

Then, he turned in time to see the door swing open and Arthur enter.

“I know you have never had training, but surely you know that it is not the prince who seeks the servant.” Arthur told him dryly, before looking at the other men in the room. “Am I interrupting something?”

“Just the sleeping arrangements, princess.” Gwaine told him cheerfully. “And, if you want, you can test my swordsmanship for yourself.”

Arthur murmured interestedly. “Merlin said you held off ten bandits by yourself? That's impressive.”

"I did." Gwaine confirmed, winking at Merlin. “I'm just happy to have had this witness to my skill.”

Merlin blushed, and Arthur snorted in amusement. “I can't wait to see how good you are.” 

Then, looking at Merlin, Arthur pointed to the door. “You have work to do.”

Merlin nodded, following Arthur without protest.

“You know, if you react like this every time you're with Lancelot or Gwaine, maybe I should start looking for you only at those times.” Arthur commented. “You have never been so obedient.”

“Shut up, okay?” Merlin said. “I just… I don't know what just happened.”

"You'll know." Arthur said amused.

***

“What are two Sidhe doing in Camelot?”

Merlin blinked, turning to Nimueh.

“What are you doing in Camelot?” Merlin asked his mentor, confused by her sudden presence.

“Did you think I wouldn't recognize exiled Sidhe for what they are?” Nimueh asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

Merlin was starting to hate that raised eyebrow. It seemed so condescending.

“Are there Sidhe exiles in Camelot?” Merlin responded instead, tilting his head. “That's what Aulfric and Sophia are! I was wondering about that, actually.”

Nimueh murmured something Merlin couldn't quite make it out. Then, she looked behind Merlin and blinked. “Who is your new shadow?”

"My shadow?" Merlin repeated in confusion, before turning to see Gwaine. “Oh, that's Gwaine. He saved Sophia and Aulfric.”

“You brought another wanderer to Camelot just because he's good with a sword and attractive?” Nimueh sighed, staring at Merlin in shock.

“I never said Gwaine was attractive.” Merlin denied it, blushing.

“Well, you never denied it either.” Nimueh replied. “Well, never mind, I'll think about that another time.”

“About what ?” Merlin asked, confused.

“The exiled Sidhe. What do they want? They must be looking for something, otherwise they wouldn't be in Camelot.” Nimueh said.

“Uh, they want to spend time with Arthur.” Merlin replied, deciding to humour the Priestess. “And Morgana dreamed that Sophia would kill Arthur.”

“The sacrifice of the innocent.” Nimueh murmured in shock. “And they think using Arthur will work? He's not innocent! He has the blood of innocents on his hands!”

Merlin hissed, protective of the prince.

Nimueh raised an eyebrow, and Merlin said. “He regrets his actions. And he ordered his men to attack only those who attacked them. He was ignored.”

"It does not matter." Nimueh denied it. “That won't let them both return to Avalon. He's not innocent enough."

“Maybe just Sophia, then?” Merlin offered, receiving a thoughtful look from Nimueh. “I don't know how the Sidhe work-” or what they are , Merlin added mentally, “-but Aulfric is a father . He would sacrifice himself for his daughter, right?”

“He would.” Nimueh nodded. “The older Sidhe do this towards the younger ones. Especially if the younger one is punished just because of a kinship.”

“Okay.” Merlin smiled. “Now how do we stop them?”

“I can't do much.” Nimueh warned him. “Take them out of Camelot. There will be a clash with magic.”

“Lancelot knows I have magic.” Merlin said. “And Morgana has magic herself.”

"Very good." Nimueh nodded. Then, after a moment's pause. “Do you want to tell Morgana that you have magic too?”

"I am afraid. And I never had enough time to confide in her.” Merlin murmured. “I know she's good, and I know she wouldn't sell me out. But it's hard to admit that." After a sigh, Merlin said. “I've never admitted it to anyone . Either they already knew or they saw me using it.”

Nimueh smiled. “I'll be with you if you want to confide in Morgana.”

“I can't do this in front of Lancelot.” Merlin denied it. “He may know about my magic, but it's up to Morgana to confide in him. Maybe after he and Gwen start dating..."

“You still haven't figured it out, then.” Nimueh murmured laconically.

“I still don't understand, what are you talking about?” Merlin asked, glaring at the witch.

"It does not matter." Nimueh waved her hand. “Take Morgana and Lancelot with you, and lure the two Sidhe out of the castle. We will prevent them from killing Arthur.”

Merlin turned away for a moment. When he turned back she was gone. “I didn't understand… and she disappeared again .”

With a sigh, Merlin headed towards Morgana's chambers, knocking before slipping inside.

“Merlin!” Morgana smiled at him. "How can I help you?"

Seeing the fire lit, Merlin took a sheet of paper and wrote. I have magic .

Then, after Morgana had read those words, he threw the paper into the fire.

“For how long?” Morgana asked, shocked and hopeful at the same time.

“I was born with it.” Merlin said. “And I need your help to save Arthur.”

“Tell me what you want me to do.” Morgana replied, a determined fire in her eyes.

Merlin smiled at his friend, before telling her his idea.

***

A horseback ride could be used for multiple goals.

It could reveal plans for a surprise attack, it could be used to outline future alliances or future political intrigue, it could be used to realise the territory of one's kingdom or see what had become the territory of a country.

Or, Merlin thought, it could also be used to get rid of exiled Sidhe who planned to kill a prince to return to their home.

He didn't know if he could count this ride as being used for revealing plans for a surprise attack, or outlining future alliances and political intrigue, since Merlin and Morgana had magic and Lancelot knew about Merlin's magic and they had just killed two of the king's valued and well-liked guests. 

This was without considering the presence of Nimueh, who had limited Sidhe's magic, while giving Merlin the opportunity to use his magic to finish them off.

"I wanted to thank you." Morgana told him, as Lancelot rode slightly behind the pair.

"For what?" Merlin asked, smiling at her.

“For trusting me with your secret.” Morgana answered him. “I know it must have taken a lot of courage.”

“It wasn't easy, but… I trust you.” Merlin replied, smiling at the girl. “I know you would never sell me out to Uther.”

"No." Morgana nodded. Then, her gaze fell on Lancelot. “You know, I didn't want to say anything before, because Lancelot asked me not to intervene, but… you know he loves you, right?”

"Who?" Merlin asked, tilting his head in confusion.

“Lancelot.” Morgana replied. “He loves you and seeing you and Gwaine hurt him.”

“But he's with Gwen.” Merlin blinked. “He asked my permission to court her and everything.”

Morgana stood still, before huffing and declaring. "You know what? Forget what I just said. This is all his fault, I'll let you all figure it out."

“Okay?” Merlin told her, looking at her confused.

Why did he always feel confused when Lancelot or Gwaine were brought into the conversation?

***

The ceremony of a prince becoming crown prince was only a formality, yet it was the grandest ceremony Merlin had seen.

Even grander than the many banquets held in honour of allies, old and new.

And, even though he was just holding a jug in his hand on one side of the room, he couldn't help but observe with pride the seriousness with which Arthur was taking the oath.

“You're proud of him, I can see it on your face.” Gwen teased.

Merlin gave her a smug look. “Cleaning his royal tights is a privilege.”

“Your expression couldn't be prouder.” Gwen said. “Two days, right?”

“Those tights are shiny .” Merlin pointed out. “And it was at least two and a half days.”

"My mistake." Gwen laughed.

Merlin, then noticing Lancelot looking towards Gwen, asked her. “How's it going with Lancelot? You're happy?"

"You know that he doesn’t like Gwaine." Gwen murmured, casting a sad look at Lancelot.

"Why?" Merlin asked back. “Gwaine is nothing but polite and kind to everyone. George appreciates it very much.” Merlin added, as if George's approval was proof of some kind.

Considering how few people liked the eldest servant, Merlin considered it an honorific.

Gwaine had George's approval. Merlin needed nothing else to judge him.

"Yes, I know." Gwen said, speaking softly. “He is certainly a man of great honour, and he saved people in difficulty. This is honourable. No one could dispute his skill with the sword either. Arthur himself complimented him on his enviable technique.”

Merlin nodded.

Arthur didn't give out too many compliments, yet he had commented favourably on Gwaine's skill.

Merlin had never been so proud of someone.

“The point is, well, how can I say this?” Gwen murmured, before sighing and saying. “The problem is that you like Gwaine a little too much .”

“Lancelot's problem with Gwaine is that I like Gwaine ?” Merlin repeated, surprised and confused. "That does not make sense. Shouldn't you think that because I like him, that means Gwaine isn't a threat?”

“You're not a dog, you don't sense people's intentions.” Gwen rolled her eyes.

Merlin pouted. “I would make a lovely dog, though.”

“ Shut up ,” Gwen scolded, reaching over to serve some wine to a noble in front of them, before continuing to speak. “Look, Lancelot likes you , and seeing you with Gwaine makes him feel bad.”

“Why do you and Morgana both say that? Arthur too.” Merlin sighed. “Lancelot is courting you, I don't understand why it should bother him if I spend time with Gwaine in the meantime.”

“Lancelot and I are not courting.” Gwen blinked, confused. “And Lancelot has never expressed any interest in pursuing me romantically.” 

“But… he asked my permission to court you.” Merlin murmured. “He asked me if you or I were dating, and then if you were dating someone else!”

Gwen's mouth dropped open. “But Lancelot has no intention of…”

Whatever Gwen wanted to say was interrupted by a nearby window exploding.

A black knight with a grim look entered the room, advancing his steed until he stopped in front of the knights arranged in a crescent in front of the king, protecting him.

He, in perfect silence, untied a glove, then threw it at the men's feet.

Merlin held his breath as he saw Arthur begin to bend down to pick it up.

Then, he exhaled when he realised that one of his younger knights had preceded him.

Relief and guilt were playing together in Merlin's chest as the black knight spoke the words Merlin had been dreading to hear.

“Tomorrow, at noon. To the death.”

****

“Does Ewan really have a chance against that knight?” Morgana was asking, pacing around Merlin's room.

Should she have been there? Probably not .

Arthur would have been pleased to find her there? Absolutely not.

Did Merlin really care? Not exactly.

If Morgana wanted to be there, Morgana could be there. Merlin wasn't going to stop her from showing up.

“Merlin, are you listening to me?” Morgana asked him, hearing no response to her sentence and exclamation.

"Yes. I hope Ewan can defeat this knight, but right now I'm quite interested in finding out who this black knight might be.” Merlin said. “He is not a knight of the realm, and bears the emblem of arms of no enemy of Camelot. A knight errant would have no reason to challenge a man of Camelot unless he had a message to convey.”

“What kind of message?” Morgana asked, stopping and staring at Merlin in shock at where his attention had focused.

“I don't know and I won't know until I decipher his seal.” Merlin replied, seeming personally offended by the slowness of his search. “Gaius has also been acting strange, so I have to do everything myself.”

“How do you feel about Gaius avoiding you?” Morgana asked, sitting in front of him and looking at him seriously.

Merlin sighed. After Nimueh had saved Uther, and had spoken to Gaius in private, the old physician had avoided Merlin without offering him the opportunity to speak together with the physician, to defend himself and to offer explanations of how their acquaintance had begun.

Maybe Nimueh had already explained everything, but Gaius should have offered Merlin the chance to explain himself.

"I do not know." Merlin admitted. “It's painful to think that he doesn't want to deal with me, but I also know that I can't force him to talk to me. And, with everything going on…” Merlin sighed. “My mom made me come here so Gaius could teach me control. But he is avoiding me. How can he teach me anything if he avoids me ?”

“I don't know if he even noticed Lancelot and Gwaine moving in.” Morgana murmured vaguely amused. “Do you know that Lancelot is allowing a couple of servants to occupy his knight's room?”

"What are you talking about?" Merlin asked. “Lancelot lives in a house that has cracks that need to be repaired.”

“Oh, so that's the excuse he used to live with you.” Morgana nodded. “I was wondering what excuse he could have used for not staying in his room.”

“Why would Lancelot lie to stay here?” Merlin asked. “There's room for three, sure, but it's uncomfortable .”

The boy pointed to the mattresses placed on the floor. When the two had left, he had used his magic to pull away the bed support, and to bring in more mattresses for everyone in the room to rest. But it was still narrow, as the room was not designed for more than one person.

“I wonder.” Morgana shrugged. “I'm sure he has a good reason.”

Merlin murmured, before saying. “I found something. It is the symbol of De Bois, especially Tristan De Bois. the older brother of Ygraine, Arthur's mother.”

Morgana sat next to Merlin on one of the mattresses on the floor. "What does it say?"

“Let's see…” Merlin skimmed the paragraph where Geoffrey had noted the story of Tristan De Bois. “He is the one who agreed to marry his younger sister to Uther. But, after Arthur's birth and his sister's death... he came to Camelot and challenged Uther to a duel. He lost the duel, and, in his last moments of life, cursed Camelot.”

“Spirits do not come back to life on their own.” Morgana said. “It doesn't matter how angry they are.”

"I know." Merlin nodded. “But a sorcerer powerful enough could summon a wraith, Nimueh told me about it. And there are many witches who want revenge against Uther.”

“How do you kill a spirit?” Morgana asked, frowning.

“I don't think you can kill someone who's already dead.” Merlin murmured. “It seems counterintuitive. The spirit is just a being that is brought to this plane by a will that it has left behind and that is exploited by a higher power. We should banish it with equivalent power.”

“With a sword, then, there is no chance.” Morgana said. “Ewan will die.”

Merlin sighed. “I… I don't know, Morgana. The chances of him surviving are..."

“None.” Morgana looked down. “Uther hid behind the knights. The spirit wants to kill him , right?”

"It's possible." Merlin nodded. “Nimueh explained to me what really happened.”

"What do you mean?" Morgana asked. “Did Tristan's desire to take revenge on Uther for his sister's death have sense?”

“Ygraine was barren, Morgana. Nimueh allowed Arthur to be born, and told him that a balance is needed. Life for life.” Merlin murmured.

“Uther was willing to let an innocent die for him, as long as he was a complete stranger . Right?" Morgana understood.

“And instead the magic took Ygraine, to protect Arthur as much as possible.” Merlin murmured. “And all the sorcerers paid the price.”

“It's despicable !” Morgana screamed. “How can he kill innocents just to wash away his guilt?”

“I don't know, and you're right, Morgana, but we can't let our anger control us.” Merlin warned her. “We are sorcerers, if our anger and bitterness take control of us, we will become worse than Uther.”

Morgana took a deep breath, nodding slowly. “I know, it's just… awful.” Then, once she regained her composure, she asked. “Are there ways to kill the wraith?”

“Ban him with equivalent power…” Merlin murmured. “The spirit is undead, so… it should be treated with something similar.”

“A weapon made by magic?” Morgana asked, raising an eyebrow, looking intrigued and fascinated. 

“Think about it,” Merlin said, sounding enthusiastic, “the spirit was produced with a ritual, and the same must be done with a possible weapon.”

“What weapon?” Morgana asked, huffing.

“We both know that Arthur will challenge him sooner or later.” Merlin told her. “A sword. I think the sword is the best weapon.”

“And what kind of ritual should be used?” Morgana asked.

“I was thinking about something Nimueh had said.” Merlin said, standing up and lifting the mattress off the floor, revealing a lifting tile. 

“Do you hide magic books under your bed ?” Morgana asked, blinking. 

“Nobody ever looks under them.” Merlin shrugged, picking up one of the books and placing it on the mattress. “Nimueh also gave me some books on necromancy, the practice of bringing the dead back to life. This is a ritual she described to me.”

Morgana looked at the diagram with careful eyes, unable to understand the symbols present, but knowing that there was some importance in the symbols depicted. 

“She said, without going into too much detail, that the shadows of death can be defeated with the light of life .” Merlin murmured. “If we reason with the elements of magic, we can see death as the earth, as our loved ones are buried. And the light of life is fire.”

“Soldiers are also burned, in honour of their fiery life.” Morgana pointed out. “I think fire is a good way to go. I'll get a sword from Gwen. Then you and I will go and magically create it.”

Merlin nodded. “Before Ewan. Maybe we can save him somehow.”

Morgana shook her head. "I'm not sure. But we must prevent further deaths.”

***

Merlin and Morgana were sheltered from the outside view, while the young woman handed the sword to Merlin.

"Thank you." Merlin smiled. 

“Gwen said it was the best sword her father ever made.” Morgana said. “And she also made me promise to say 'two days'”.

Merlin rolled his eyes. 

“It was two and a half at least.” Merlin murmured, as he dipped the sword into the source of water, in the only section illuminated by sunlight. 

“With this source I purify you from the mortal touch that has contaminated you" / "Leis an tobar seo, glanaim thú den lorg marfach a thruailligh thú.”

Morgana gasped as the blade glowed, before Merlin pulled the sword out of the river.

A circle of gold and silver dust had been made on the ground with magic by Morgana, and Merlin placed the sword in the centre.

“Eternal fire, help me.”/  "Aed Suthain, Cuideoigh liom."

Then, as the blade glowed with a soft fire, Merlin cut his hand with a piece of glass, letting his blood bathe the blade.

As soon as the first drop of blood touched the blade, an unwatchable light erupted from it, forcing both sorcerers to look away, covering their eyes to try and stop the light.

“Is it done?” Morgana asked, opening her eyes to look at the blade lying on the ground.

"Yes." Merlin nodded. “Let's go save the knights.”

**

They hadn't had time to save Ewan, but Merlin had seen Arthur accept the gauntlet, and was quick to give him the sword.

“It will save your life.” Merlin assured him. “And it will destroy the spirit.”

“The spirit?” Arthur asked, blinking.

“Don't you recognize that emblem?” Morgana asked him. “It is from the house of De Bois.”

" My mother ?" Arthur's voice was weak, hoarse. “That… is a relative of my mother?”

“Her older brother. Tristan.” Merlin replied. “It's a long story, but it's his spirit brought back to life. That sword will allow you to kill him.”

Arthur looked at him seriously. “Because… How did you get a sword that works against a spirit, Merlin ?”

“Arthur, I'll explain everything to you, I promise.” Merlin promised. “But, just for now, please believe me when I say I would never put you in danger.”

"I know. I believe you." Arthur nodded. "Well. I will use this sword. But, Merlin?”

The servant looked up, ready to hear the prince's decision.

“You will tell me the whole truth .” Arthur admonished him. “Including how you know that the spirit is my uncle.”

“Yes, sire.” Merlin nodded. "I promise you."

***

The wraith was destroyed by Arthur.

Uther had celebrated his son's victory, and Merlin had been forced to serve another banquet in the prince's honour.

Then, he saw Lancelot standing in the corner. 

“Hi, Lance!” Merlin smiled at him.

“Merlin!” Lancelot smiled back, placing his glass on a moving tray that passed by him. “How is the evening treating you?”

“ Challenging .” Merlin murmured, even as his gaze found the sword shining at Arthur's belt.

After Merlin admitted that it was his sword, and that he had forged it himself, Arthur accepted the gift and used it in place of his previous weapon.

A thoughtful gift, he had said, from a loyal friend.

“Yes, there is no rest for a servant.” Lancelot laughed.

“By the way,” Merlin told him, “I understand that you offer your knight's room to some servants in need. Which is honourable, but… why didn't you just tell me?”

Lancelot blushed. “I gave the room to them after I requested to sleep with you again.”

"Why?" Merlin asked. “Gwaine would never hurt me, Lance.”

“How well do you know him, though?” Lancelot looked at him seriously. “You don't even know where he came from.”

“I don't even know where you're from, though.” Merlin contested. “And I hadn't known you that long when I decided to help you become a knight of Camelot. So, why are you so surprised?”

“I thought it was just for me .” Lancelot admitted, lowering his voice.  “Not that it was meant for everyone.”

“It's not meant for everyone, just people I trust. ” Merlin shrugged. “I trusted both you and Gwaine. And I know Gwaine would never hurt me, so if you stayed to protect me from him… there's no point, that's all.”

“I'm not staying because I'm afraid Gwaine will hurt you if you spend any time alone.” Lancelot muttered through gritted teeth. “I'm staying because I don't want to give him the chance to spend time alone with you .”

"Why?" Merlin blinked. “Gwaine is not a danger.”

"I know!" Lancelot exclaimed. "But you like him!"

“And you like Gwen!” Merlin replied.

“I don't like Gwen!” Lancelot groaned. "I like you!"

" What ?" Merlin gasped, staring at Lancelot with wide eyes.

“I…” Lancelot blushed. “I didn't mean to say it like that…”

“ Merlin !” Arthur called after him, catching up shortly after and glancing at Lancelot. “Let's go to my rooms, I have to train tomorrow.”

“Of course, my lord.”

The journey to Arthur's rooms was silent and peaceful.

Merlin couldn't speak, and passively followed Arthur through the corridors, not really paying attention to the steps he took.

He heard the door close, and then Arthur's hands on his shoulders.