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  1. *

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    Ilya. He is still sleeping fitfully in Irina’s bed, face crumpled and lips turned down. Irina leans over him and presses a single kiss to the crease between his eyebrows, and then leans back just enough to watch Ilya’s big, blue eyes blink open at her.

    She holds a finger against her lips, waiting until Ilya nods before she straightens up and beckons him to get out of bed. When Ilya is standing, Irina helps him into a clean sweater, his coat, scarf, and hat. Ilya looks terribly confused, but allows himself to be dressed like a toddler, watching his mother curiously but without question. He is twelve years old, certainly old enough to dress himself, and maybe Grigory has a point when he insists that Irina coddles Ilya too much, but, good heavens, that face, how could she not?

    It is not until Ilya notices the suitcase by the bedroom door that his expression changes. His eyes darken at first, and then his face screws up minutely, looking at Irina with thinly veiled horror.

    “Be completely silent, solnyshko,” Irina breathes. “We have to go.”

     

    Irina Rozanova chooses differently.

    Language:
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    Chapters:
    27/27
    Comments:
    150
    Kudos:
    533
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  2. *

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    "Hi, solnyshko.”
    The Russian pet name set a firework off inside Shane's mind as he heard it cooed from behind him. The intonation was just as he remembered, but the voice was much deeper.

    He turned and felt himself short circuit. It took every ounce of willpower to not let his jaw drop cartoonishly to the floor. Shane would recognize his individual features anywhere, even after 5 years. But it was as if someone had snapped their fingers and the smug, silly Russian boy who had been attached to Shane's hip for 3 summers was transformed into some sort of fucking Adonis right before his eyes.

    “Ilya-” was all Shane managed before strong arms were wrapped around his waist and lifting him off the ground in a greeting all too familiar from years ago.

     

    OR
    When Shane Hollander & Ilya Rozanov spent their summers as teens in an elite hockey camp, they quickly became inseparable friends. But they lose touch when Shane moves on as a prospect for the NHL and Ilya for the KHL.

    Years later, Montreal makes a bold move to take the hottest player in the KHL. After hearing of the Russian's reputation, the Montreal Captain is tasked with keeping his old best friend and new teammate out of trouble.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    112,340
    Chapters:
    22/22
    Comments:
    2,625
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    9,556
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    4,011
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    274,814
  3. *

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    “Where are you going?”

    “To the arena, Hollander. We are playing a game in three hours.”

    “That’s tomorrow, Rozanov,” Hollander says, smirking like Ilya might be fucking with him and he wants to make sure he’s in on the joke. He looks behind and around him. “Um, can I come inside?”

    “Hollander, we have game today. You were here yesterday.”

    Hollander is striding toward his kitchen, looking over his shoulder at Ilya like he’s getting tired of the joke. “Very funny. I was in Montreal yesterday, Rozanov.”

    “Hollander.” Ilya goes to stand in front of him. Hollander’s eyes flicker up and down his body the way that Ilya usually craves, but is rather unwelcome right now. “Today is Thursday. Game is today. Yesterday, you came to my house. We ate tuna melts, watched Buffalo game. Then, you left.”

    “Rozanov, it’s Wednesday morning. And I’ve never been to your house before.”

    “Hollander…”

    “Look at your phone if you don’t believe me.”

    Ilya snorts like a bull and pulls his phone out of his pocket, swipes down on the screen to look at the date.

    Wednesday, November 9th.


    Or: Ilya Rozanov in Groundhog Day!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,332
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    749
    Kudos:
    5,164
    Bookmarks:
    1,564
    Hits:
    62,868
  4. *

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    "And is like I said, very easy to do. You just lay back and let someone else do work. Could do it in my sleep, would not be problem at all for me to come hands-free.”

    Hollander scowled, full competitive personality shining through. “Prove it.”

    “Fine, I will,” Ilya snapped back.

    Hollander's eyes went wide, and so did Ilya's when he realized what he had promised. His words hung in the air between them, suddenly heavy with implication.

    ---
    Ilya doesn't think switching with Hollander one time for the sake of settling a bet will change anything about their arrangement, and it certainly wouldn't make him discover anything about himself. Afterall, it would only be one time, right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,870
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    810
    Kudos:
    4,187
    Bookmarks:
    1,334
    Hits:
    60,798
  5. *

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    Ilya Rozanov has been drafted by Boston, the number one pick overall, but his father doesn't want him moving to America and so takes steps to block his visa. He's going to have to go back to Russia and stay there forever and that, thinks Shane Hollander, is wrong.

    It's so wrong that Shane can't stop himself from doing something about it. Even though that something is the most reckless, the only reckless thing he's ever done in his life. He marries Rozanov in secret, to keep him out of Russia and put him on a path to Canadian citizenship.

    Shane's got a five-year plan to get him there and when you have a plan nothing can go wrong. Right? Right. When you have a solid plan and a marriage that's on paper only there's no risk of feelings getting involved. Not on Rozanov's part and certainly not on Shane's.

    Right???

    (or, the story of how Shane Hollander fell in love with his own husband)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    150,160
    Chapters:
    21/21
    Comments:
    6,371
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    20,332
    Bookmarks:
    8,441
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    684,040
  6. *

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    Shane Hollander struggles to reconcile his faith with his undeniable attraction to a man.

    Or a case study in Lust.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,612
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    216
    Kudos:
    2,744
    Bookmarks:
    886
    Hits:
    45,843
  7. *

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    In their first summer after being outed, Shane finally accepts that invite to Bood's backyard barbecue. It could have been a relaxing night. But Ilya's brought vodka. And the Centaurs brought questions. Might as well rip off the band aid before he signs with Ottawa.

    Or

    How many shots is it worth to know what your Captain likes in bed?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,761
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    276
    Kudos:
    4,451
    Bookmarks:
    556
    Hits:
    24,568
  8. *

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    Wyatt was not, like, nosy. For sure, he was interested. He was curious. He engaged with people, obviously, because most people were interesting and engaging and had cool thoughts and said neat stuff if you asked.

    So, no. Wyatt wasn’t nosy, but he wasn’t stupid, either.

    Or: A Bromance Blooms In Ottawa
    Or: The Ballad of Wyatt and Ilya

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,684
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    18
    Comments:
    1,548
    Kudos:
    19,582
    Bookmarks:
    6,419
    Hits:
    173,130
  9. *

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    Ilya takes a liking to Shane's flannels.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,966
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    555
    Kudos:
    2,879
    Bookmarks:
    807
    Hits:
    53,626
  10. *

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    Shane Hollander and Troy Barrett have never really met.

    According to a deeply unqualified group of friends, teammates, and one extremely overconfident instigator, this is an opportunity.

    A group chat is created.

    This is a bad idea.

    Ilya and Harris are not happy.

    OR: The Metros, Centaurs, and Admirals hatch a plan to get Shane and Troy to hook up. And they're all idiots.

    OR OR: Scott Hunter is a chaos magnet.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,219
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    294
    Kudos:
    1,491
    Bookmarks:
    319
    Hits:
    32,700
  11. 20

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    The lyrics talked about how one person brought meaning to everything else in the singer’s life, and how that one person knew them better than anyone else.

    That was his Ilya.

     

    This short vignette is Shane's reaction to seeing the alternative video that Harris sends to Ilya at the end of Chapter One of "A Doctor Once Told Me I Feel Too Much." This could probably be read as a stand-alone, but it will make more sense if you read "A Doctor Once Told Me..." Chapter One first.

    This story makes reference to "The Story" by Brandi Carlile, so I highly recommend listening to it if you're not familiar.

    The title comes from the poem Jellyfish by Andrea Gibson.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,066
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    307
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    2,291
  12. *

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    Hayden cuts himself off at the sound of something he hears so rarely, he’s almost sure he’s imagining it. He scans the room, looking for the source, and sure enough, his eyes land on his target. 

    There, nestled in between two of his teammates on the couch, is Shane Hollander. 

    Laughing. Out loud. Audibly. 

    Like, he’s actually fucking laughing, not the fake laughs he forces out to make other people more comfortable. In fact, he’s laughing so hard, he looks like he might cry, and Hayden would be delighted by the sight of it if he weren’t so fucking concerned. Shane Hollander doesn’t laugh at parties. Shane Hollander barely laughs when he’s actually happy, and he’s never happy at parties. So what gives? 

    Or:

    Shane Hollander accidentally gets very high. That's it, that's the fic.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,673
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    789
    Kudos:
    20,388
    Bookmarks:
    3,998
    Hits:
    160,017
  13. *

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    "Anya," Shane said. The firm voice. The one that meant sit, wait, leave it. "Easy."

    She did not sit.

    She did not leave it.

    She knew what leave it meant. She had left many things in her life—shoes, food on low tables, interesting dead things on walks, and she had done so because the rules were the rules and she was a creature who respected them. This was different. Leave it applied to objects.

    This was a breach of territory. This was a matter of pack safety.

    The rules, she felt certain, had not accounted for this.

    Post-TLG: Five times Anya battled to protect her pack, and one time she simply stood watch (like the good girl she is).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,035
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    238
    Kudos:
    1,241
    Bookmarks:
    259
    Hits:
    12,341
  14. *

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    Shane’s voice was almost a whisper as he admitted, “I fucked up.”

    Ilya stopped in his tracks, “What do you mean?”

    “He knows. Scott Hunter fucking knows.”
    ---
    OR: Shane calls Ilya crying after the fight. Ilya yells at Scott Hunter about it.
    *Now with Kip's POV in part 2 and everyone at the Kingfisher in part 3!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,268
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    632
    Kudos:
    21,952
    Bookmarks:
    3,235
    Hits:
    223,824
  15. *

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    Rather than give him the joint, Ilya takes it back between his own lips and sucks in a deep breath, the tip glowing as he does so. Then, before Shane can process it, he’s reaching up and sliding one large hand around the back of Shane’s neck, pulling him down so their lips meet.

    Shane gasps softly, and Ilya takes the opportunity to blow smoke into his open and waiting mouth.

    Oh, God. Are you there? It’s me, Shane Hollander. We’ve had our differences, but I think I’d like to convert for real this time. I’m ready. Open the pearly white gates. I’m coming up.

    Shane goes to a house party, gets high, then gets on his knees. bon appetite
    now a multi-chapter saga bc i couldn't help myself

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    93,547
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    2,154
    Kudos:
    17,469
    Bookmarks:
    6,539
    Hits:
    407,033
  16. *

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    The second time Shane Hollander wakes up on November 16th, he has a panic attack.

    The problem is — he tries to explain through gasped breaths after Hayden basically knocks down his door, shouting that they’re going to miss their flight — the thing is, Shane’s already woken up on November 16th. He’s already flown to Boston. He’s already been to practice, and he’s checked into the hotel, and he has lived this day before.

    He doesn’t mention that he’s also already fucked Ilya Rozanov twice and had a fucking tuna melt that Rozanov made and drank the ginger ale that Rozanov bought specifically for him. He doesn’t mention that they’d snuggled on the couch watching TV like some kind of couple, like boyfriends.

    He doesn’t mention that he fell asleep thinking about how Ilya — fuck, no, thinking about how Rozanov had called him sweetheart and Shane, and that, even now, he can’t quite get the cadence of Ilya’s voice out of his head.

    Or: After the tuna melt fiasco, Shane Hollander wakes up in a time loop.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,420
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    591
    Kudos:
    7,855
    Bookmarks:
    2,050
    Hits:
    54,548
  17. *

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    Shane doesn’t realize he’s braced for silent eyes until he feels the absence of it — the weight of teammates immediately finding him and going quiet, waiting for him to fuck up, to say the wrong thing, to exist wrong. He expects the chatter of a room to drop when he enters and its disconcerting to find it doesn't yet in Ottawa.

    He stands at the entrance a beat too long.

    --

    It’s the start of Shane Hollander’s first season in Ottawa and he should be settled. The Centaurs are friendly, the room is easy, and Ilya is finally close enough to touch. But, as Shane is intimately aware of, old habits learned the hard way will linger.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,982
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    516
    Kudos:
    8,618
    Bookmarks:
    1,899
    Hits:
    115,165
  18. *

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    When Ilya and his mother move to Ottawa after escaping his abusive father, he didn't expect to find his new neighbour Shane Hollander so endearing.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,063
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    79
    Kudos:
    774
    Bookmarks:
    222
    Hits:
    16,222
  19. *

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    Ilya Rozanov: I do not understand why you are being like this but you look very pretty when you are annoyed so I do not mind.

    Shane Hollander: [awkwardly] Oh… um. Thanks, I guess, Rozanov.

    Ilya Rozanov: Is true. You are so beautiful. I cannot believe you exist. So pretty. And I get to have you and love you and be your boyfriend-

    [Shane slams his hand over Ilya’s mouth, his expression panicked.]

    Shane Hollander: This interview is over! Cut the cameras, now!

    (the players at all-stars 2018 eat spiked brownies. cue a chaos + a hollanov reveal)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,427
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    595
    Kudos:
    7,659
    Bookmarks:
    714
    Hits:
    46,494
  20. *

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    “You want to talk to people about me?” Shane asked quietly.

    There was something small and confused in the question. But Ilya was still furious and raw.

    “Well I would,” he sneered, “if there was anything about you that was fucking interesting to talk about! It would be nice to not be so fucking bored and miserable!”

    The second the words left his mouth, he watched the pain roll across Shane's features like a thousand fractures shattering through glass.

    Ilya had seen Shane nearly break ribs. He had seen him miss game-winning shots, take hits that left bruises blooming purple and black across his skin. He had never seen this.

    Shane closed his eyes for a long moment. He shook his head slightly, a tiny movement, then nodded once as if agreeing with something only he could hear. His face twisted briefly with a fresh wave of pain before he forced it to still.

    ---------

    What if Shane and Ilya don't make up so easily after the Boxing Day fight? The Centaur's plane never malfunctions, so Shane never proposes. Instead, Ilya gives him an ultimatum on coming out and going public. It backfires spectacularly.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    62,112
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Comments:
    2,511
    Kudos:
    16,091
    Bookmarks:
    5,965
    Hits:
    380,042

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