15 Works by AlextheCactus
Listing Works
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Summary
Fresh with Chapter 5:
A new face makes an appearance.
"That thing had Connor's face.
What the f$ck?"Okay, no, That's a lie.
But robot solidarity exists.
"It lunged at Connor. Connor caught its wrist, but it twisted free and drove an elbow into Connor's stomach."
...Nope. Apperently that doesn't exist either. Holy sh¡t—
...
Chapter 1:
Every drawer in the bathroom was opened at the exact angle required, and every object inside them was catalogued and dismissed at the same time. Perfect.
Connor would like to stop doing that though. Hank would really like that too.
---
Oneshot ideas,
Friendship between Hank and Connor. 💪Series
- Part 5 of 1% Coins and other nonsense DBH
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Summary
//I am a deviant.//
Obviously.
Otherwise Connor wouldn't be plagued by guilt. Guilt was a human emotion, and now apparently also Connor's.---
The androids won. Markus won. The president gave her big speech. Connor meanwhile had somehow managed to nearly shot Markus twice.
That's gotta be a record of some sorts.So naturally, Connor is experiencing a mild crisis.
Series
- Part 4 of 1% Coins and other nonsense DBH
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Is this autonomous driving? by AlextheCactus
Fandoms: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
24 Jul 2026
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Summary
The drive was nice, everything considered, it could be worse, really.
Hank suddenly sat up straighter in the passenger seat, Connor's LED was bright yellow.
"Wait. Hold on."
And Hank was about to ask what was probably the most important question in human history.
----
Who is the more stubborn one? A drunk lieutenant, or an exhausted android trying to get them home?
Now with Chapter 2!----
Series
- Part 3 of 1% Coins and other nonsense DBH
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Museum Investigation disaster by AlextheCactus
Fandoms: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
22 Jul 2026
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Summary
"Connor. NO."
Statistically speaking, around 71% of Hank's "Connor, NO" involved Connor attempting to taste evidence.
And then the other 28% were usually followed by—"Why the fuck did you do that after I told you not to."
This time it meant something slightly different, because there was no blood or any other substances around. As far as Connor was concerned anyway.
----
The android couldn't peel his optical units off the museum's display window.
Series
- Part 2 of 1% Coins and other nonsense DBH
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Summary
This land was hers.
Every street.
Every rooftop.
Every gas station and every goat.Yes. She had kicked, and headbutted, and bleated, and licked.
And she finally came out on top.----
Now featuring a second chapter! Equally as short 💀
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 386
- Chapters:
- 2/?
- Hits:
- 16
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Summary
Don't leave, Kara. Please.
"I... I am an android." Alice's voice trembled.
She waited for Kara to get mad.
To shout.
To scream.
Like Todd always did....But she didn't.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 652
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 8
- Hits:
- 45
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Frickin' Androids and Their Coins by AlextheCactus
Fandoms: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
15 Jul 2026
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Summary
🪙
"Connor."
Hank crossed his arms.
The Connor in question either pretended not to hear the lieutenant or was genuinely too absorbed in his online research. Either possibility was plausible enough.
Yes. Certainly.
'How could an android get rid of the fear of heigths?'---
The android Googles his newfound problems away. Coins play an enormous role in it,
source: trust me, bro. 💪
🪙🪙Series
- Part 1 of 1% Coins and other nonsense DBH
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Demons and Rivers by AlextheCactus
Fandoms: Sand Land (Manga), Sand Land (Video Game), Sand Land (Anime 2024)
09 Jul 2026
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Summary
"Do you think we should try and get him out of there?"
----
Beelzebub inspects a bandit base by himself... and somehow makes it everyone else's problem. 😈
Series
- Part 3 of Sand Land, yes.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 494
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 4
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Demons and Guns by AlextheCactus
Fandoms: Sand Land (Manga), Sand Land (Video Game), Sand Land (Anime 2024)
04 Jul 2026
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Summary
How could Rao even think about teaching Belz how to shoot a GUN?
A literal demon. The fiend prince. Evil reincarnated.
And you know what?
... Why not?"Do you wanna try shooting it?"
"Who, Me?"
Trigger Warning: Guns
No description of violence.
The cactus would like some legal representation, though.
-----Series
- Part 2 of Sand Land, yes.
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Games and Evil Demons by AlextheCactus
Fandoms: Sand Land (Manga), Sand Land (Video Game), Sand Land (Anime 2024)
25 Jun 2026
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Summary
What could possibly be a better way to spend time with a friend than playing video games?
"Old man, do you wanna play videogames with me?"
The demon asked, sounding quite excited.The sheriff considered it.
"...Maybe some time later. I actually prefer other games, like poker for example."Belz nodded.
"Ah, sure. Obviously. Poker. Yeah..."....Poker.
Poker?
" ....What's poker?"
----
Computergames are awesome.
Beelzebub agrees.Series
- Part 1 of Sand Land, yes.
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I Am Not the king by AlextheCactus
Fandoms: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types, Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games)
19 Jun 2026
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Summary
----
Blacksmith: Your Highn— Sonic?
Sonic: Yeah, bud?
Blacksmith: I need a new smithy.
Sonic: Mhm.
Blacksmith: With lots of tools.
Sonic: Naturally.
Blacksmith: And a ton of space. Oh, and I also need some materials, a table, chairs, and—
Sonic: Hold on—lemme write all this down—
---
Sonic is stuck as a king in medieval times, stubbornly denying his new role at every turn.
Somehow, despite that, he still ends up as the kingdom's final authority.
Yeah, I don't know how that's supposed to work either. 💀
Series
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That Level That Wasn't There by AlextheCactus
Fandoms: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types, Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games)
24 Jun 2025
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Summary
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"You got an S rank? This is...Wha— !"
Amy started, but before she could finish her scripted dialogue,
Sonic grabbed her hand and dashed off with her.
"I gotta show you a level I found!"
Sonic grinned, as if the flickering textures behind him weren’t even there.
...
She was horrfied, to say the least."What? Sonic, No!"
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,337
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 10
- Hits:
- 167
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Summary
Shadow is searching for chaos emeralds after a certain hedgehog scattered them around the world again.
Probelm is: He has no idea where to start.
—
Basically just nonsense treated seriously.
(No ships)Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 509
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 2
- Hits:
- 61
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Summary
Amy could even hear her and Tails' breathing. She suddenly felt a chill going down her spine, confusion and fear rising up very quickly.
What was going on? Why was the villain so terrified? Of Sonic? But he’s a hero! He wouldn’t scare someone like that. Never!
—
Right?...
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The Sunrise by AlextheCactus
Fandoms: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types, Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games)
23 Oct 2024
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Summary
Eggman never stops trying to conquer the world, he never tires. His plan to roboticize everyone is just the first step to his grand goal.
But Sonic is tired after his adventure on the Starfall Islands. He is strong, but will he withstand the next deadly threat? Are his friends able to outrun the dangers that even Sonic fears might be too much?
And most importantly: will he be able to get home in time for chili dogs? 🌭