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Prince Philip Goes to Hell by ABirdWithoutFeathers
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF, British Royalty RPF
31 Aug 2021
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Summary
"I’ve been in here for at least a decade, I’ve lost track.”
“A decade?” Philip gapes. “When does it end?”
Wilbur shrugs. “Who knows? At least we’ve got a deck of cards. Do you know how to play solitaire?”
“I- I don’t want to play solitaire, I want to leave this place, go to heaven or back home..." Philip looks around the empty expanse. There’s no telling if he’s in the smallest of boxes or an endless space.
“I put up with Tommy fucking innit for two months here and somehow that was less painful than this conversation,”
AKA
A very serious fic in which Prince Philip goes to the Dream SMP afterlife.
Series
- Part 1 of The Dead Royals Saga
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,850
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 203
- Kudos:
- 900
- Bookmarks:
- 136
- Hits:
- 9,133
Bookmarked by SlashMagpie
13 Dec 2025
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Summary
Their communicators aren’t working. Etho doesn’t know why. Maybe if he could sleep, he’d be able to work out the problem. Find a solution.
If he could sleep.
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Etho and Bdubs are stranded in an endless pale garden. They can deal with the creakings just fine, but there's something in the mist that doesn't want them to leave.
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Summary
The awkward kid standing in front of him has to be, what, twenty five? Twenty six, tops. Hardly a kid at all, really, but Jeez, does Bdubs ever feel like an old geezer looking at him.
“Etho?” he says experimentally.
The kid blinks over at him owlishly. “Bdubs?” he says and, yeah, that’s Etho’s voice alright. Quiet and unsure, and softer than it’s been in years, but definitely, definitely Etho.
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As sculk contamination puts the future of Season 10 in doubt, the situation gets more complicated when an Etho from 2013 lands in the hermits' laps.
Bookmarked by SlashMagpie
08 Sep 2025
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Summary
An angel attacks Impulse in the Hub, and burns the power from his demonic soul. Now stripped of his might and brought down to mortal, Impulse has forty-eight hours before the very diseases he reigned over devour him alive.
Skizzleman’s on the hunt for a cure, and he’s racing the clock. But to save his best friend, he’s got to sink into the depths of hell. All the while, Impulse grows sicker, and the angels Skizz calls his family take a very dim view of turncoats…
Or: The angelic roadtrip through hell that nobody asked for but you’re getting anyway!
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Summary
there is something wrong with the water on the hermitcraft server, and gem cannot ignore it for any longer. the tide patterns of the water grow erratic and unpredictable, the ph rises too high. then, it begins to affect the hermits.
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hermitcraft water horror au! the major fic for the au is a hole in the earth, though other fics focused on the surrounding characters will also be published.
- Words:
- 11,736
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 5
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Mr. Bubbles & the Impossible Emporium of Dreams by lorefulgood (spacestationtrustfund)
Fandoms: Life Series | 3rd Life SMP Series
21 Mar 2025
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Summary
“This was supposed to be fun. You always make it fun,” Grian said, like an accusation. “I don’t know why it’s not fun.”
Grian has a conversation about the nature of putting your friends in situations, while Scar is oblivious. No, really. He’s definitely oblivious, trust him.
Bookmarked by SlashMagpie
27 Apr 2025
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is not a toy by Bee_4 for salemoleander (heartbeatsinreverse)
Fandoms: Empires SMP, solving counting sheep - theminecraftbee
01 Apr 2025
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Summary
Three and Jimmy catch up with one another after the Hermits find themselves on the Empires server. Three has some opinions about this place. Jimmy's mostly just happy to see it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,323
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 33
- Kudos:
- 232
- Bookmarks:
- 24
- Hits:
- 660
Bookmarked by SlashMagpie
16 Apr 2025
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Adjective (as in enjoyable, diverting) by Anonymous for strifetxt
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP, Evolution SMP
08 Apr 2025
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Summary
"Gem," Three acknowledges.
"Three," Gem responds. "What are you doing?"
"I do not think I understand fun."
"Cool," Gem says. "That doesn't explain why you're doing a washed-up corpse routine at my base."
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Three and Gem do some casual sparring and discuss the elusive concept of "fun". There is fishing involved.
Series
- Part 4 of newtanon fics 🦎
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,926
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 19
- Kudos:
- 125
- Bookmarks:
- 16
- Hits:
- 473
Bookmarked by SlashMagpie
16 Apr 2025
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Summary
Joel is a Redditor. Joel shares dreams with Kakashi. Somehow, these things are connected.
Bookmarked by SlashMagpie
09 Apr 2025
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Summary
“Gem,” Scott says, quiet. Half-muffled across the wall separating them. “Checking in.”
“Haven’t died,” Gem manages. The words scratch her throat on the way out, voice hoarse and ragged. She doesn’t even remember screaming, though. Most of it’s just a blur. It’s all hazy now, like the first film of ice just settling over a river.
“We should, uh.” Scott stutters; she barely catches a shuddering breath. “Probably try to talk to me more, okay? I don’t know if you should be dozing off, or zoning out or—You know. I think it’s supposed to be a bad idea to sleep with a head injury.”
Series
- Part 3 of footprints marked beneath the earth
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Summary
It has been raining for seven days.
This might not seem like a problem, but the Imp & Skizz Detective Agency is in Phoenix, Arizona. And the rain isn’t light. It’s a monsoon, pouring on the desert with no sign of stopping.
Impulse and Skizz are about to evacuate like everyone else, when a mysterious stranger arrives at their doorstep with buckets of cash and a desperate plea for help.
Keralis is acting strange, there’s something deeply wrong with xB, and investigating this case might just drown the desert…
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Summary
The world had been over for three days by the time Etho noticed it had ended.
Now there's a Pearl in his store telling him that two-thirds of the world is just... gone. But there's at least one person who might still be out there--if Etho can get up the nerve to find out.Spawned by a desire to write a quiet apocalypse and also add to the very short list of "hermitcraft fics without any Grian, Scar, or Mumbo" lol.
Bookmarked by SlashMagpie
24 Dec 2024
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will the curse be reversed if you say it backwards by Odaigahara for definitelynotaroughdraft (definitelynotshouting)
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP, 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series
19 Oct 2023
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Summary
The bassbeat drowned out conscious thought, and it took language with it. Grian couldn’t tell what people were saying. He could watch them, watch the colors play across cheeks and irises and the curves of strangers’ ears, their earrings, their weapons, but he couldn’t understand them. He was getting overwhelmed, and that was a bad thing. He’d worked too hard to get overwhelmed at concerts anymore.
The Watcher was up in the rafters, huddled in a corner above the sweeping lights. Grian could see him if he squinted, a darker speck of shadow in the dazzled-out gray of the venue’s high roof, but no one else would be looking. They’d go about their concert and the rest of their nights like nothing had happened, the side effects safely dispersed over a crowd of three thousand, and the Watcher would come out healthier. His cheeks would fill out a little.
He’d look more like Grian, and Grian--
Grian would look more like him.
Series
- Part 20 of mcyt fic my beloved
- Part 1 of back from the edge [hunger au recursive fic]
- Part 5 of hermit/traffic sampler [personal favorites]
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Summary
The court proceedings of Hermitcraft’s first ever divorce, centering on Grian (Petitioner #1), Scar (Petitioner #2), Mumbo Jumbo (defense lawyer), a cat (also somehow a defense lawyer?), several judges since they keep quitting because of all the nonsense, and your tireless Court Scribe JoeHills.
Bookmarked by SlashMagpie
07 Dec 2024
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Summary
PET Mail, made up of Pearl, Etho, and Tango, are asymptomatic carriers of the zombie virus that has wrecked their world ever since the bombs fell. While this bars them from interacting with the uninfected outside of special circumstances, it allows them to use their powers to deliver mail across distances and locations that would be too dangerous for the uninfected to travel. Traveling, meanwhile, allows them to never stay in one place long enough for the feelings to catch up.
Unless, of course, the mail is personal.
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Collect Call by afiniteredwood for hnrye
Fandoms: 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series, Hermitcraft SMP
12 Feb 2024
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Summary
There is a hand outstretched in the square of light, palm upturned. A beat of silence floods the room before Cleo takes the offered hand and huffs a laugh. The food goes ignored, water simmering as an underpass to the radio’s muffled melody.
Careful, doing his best not to make himself heard, Etho sits up on the couch. He props himself up on the arm, blanket still pulled up to his chin. Pillow supporting the ache in his back, he sits just high enough that he can see over the other arm and into the kitchen.
Lit from above by the warm yellow lights, Bdubs and Cleo are half-dancing to the slow music. Bdubs is a lazy dancer- every step he takes follows Cleo’s body, stepping into her space and keeping to her careful rhythm. Cleo shifts her hands to Bdubs’ waist, keeping closer to him, and when she moves Bdubs moves with her.
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Here are the people that Etho might be in love with. Here is his own body, next to theirs.
Bookmarked by SlashMagpie
27 Nov 2024
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Summary
There’s dirt in his mouth.
If he stares long enough, if he lets his eyes unfocus and swallows down the earthy aftertaste, he can pretend to be anywhere but here. He’s eating pizza instead. It tastes like grease.
Things are fine.
Or; Etho crawls out of a shallow roadside grave with no memory of the past four days.
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Alex Quackity: Look, Thomas Innit, or Tommy as he prefers to be called, killed Dream. This is not the question we are dealing with in this trial. We know where it happened, we know when it happened, we know he was the one who shot Dream point blank in the head. Those are all facts of this case. The question we are raising here is why it happened. The prosecution has suggested to you that it was done out of anger and hatred for the man who had been taking care of Tommy since he was 16. What we will prove to you however, is that it was done out of fear. You will hear evidence that when Tommy began living with Dream when he was 16, his life turned into a living hell. You will hear witness testimony to the cruelty Dream enacted on his charge. You will hear what kind of man Dream was behind closed doors. You will learn that not only was he capable of threatening to end Tommy’s life, you will be surprised it didn’t happen sooner. You will come to understand that what Tommy did was not an act of hatred or malice, but one of fear and desperation to survive.
or, the trial of Thomas Innit as told through news clips, transcripts, and court documents.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,763
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 331
- Kudos:
- 1,082
- Bookmarks:
- 228
- Hits:
- 9,181
Bookmarked by SlashMagpie
27 Nov 2024
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Summary
The fluorescent lighting in the restroom still hurt his head, but it was slightly dimmer. He closed his eyes and leaned over a sink.
Music and voices still filtered through the door, but it was quiet enough that he could actually hear himself think.
And all he could think of was red.
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AKA: World’s second most possessable man gets possessed and has a no good very bad few months.
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Summary
It’s two in the morning when Gem wakes up to screaming in her castle.
The noise is coming from the entrance hall, and it sounds like neither a wither nor a warden, so she figures she’s good to head down in just her pyjamas and her little silk house-robe. Her sword is a comforting not-weight in her inventory, visible a half-dimension away when she lets her attention slip to the peripheral of her vision. Whatever it is, she’ll be fine. It’s probably some bugged zombie or something – if it’s not just some new god-awful prank from Grian, or Scar, or both.
It’s not a bugged zombie, or a prank. It’s Pearl.
Bookmarked by SlashMagpie
01 Oct 2024