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  1. This has been deleted, sorry!

    02 Aug 2021

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “The Angel of Death, the ferryman of the Styx, the terror of the western seas. One of the most feared captains ever to sail, and yet, I have to wonder… how did a man like you end up all on his own? We searched the area where you were found—not another soul in sight. So,” He fixes him with a long look, allowing the silence to hover like a dark cloud, the words rolling off of his tongue with all the venom and smugness he can muster, “—tell me, Philza. Where is your crew?”

    OR: Technoblade is a naval captain, and Phil his unwilling prisoner. Somehow, they manage to come out of it as friends in the end.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    87,839
    Chapters:
    19/19
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4,564
    Kudos:
    24,989
    Bookmarks:
    4,798
    Hits:
    768,666

    10 Jul 2021

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “You do understand that you’re caring for the thing meant to bring destruction and chaos to our world, right?” The woman asks, Phil looking behind him fondly as Techno grabs at the ends of his wings.

    “He’s just a child.” Phil answers distractedly, humming as his wings get gently yanked at.

    “He’s the first of three to destroy life as we know it! Shouldn’t we, well, get rid of him?!”

    “Oh, no.” Phil raises his eyes with a sharp glare. “Believe me, I have my own way of preventing the apocalypse.”

    ---

    Or, Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy are basically chaotic forces of nature, destined from birth to end the world and bring destruction. Most who hear of the tale of them are trying their best to track them down, and to end the monsters while they’re still young, still just children.

    Phil has a different plan.

    (In which Phil raises the minecraft equivalents of the anti-christ with love and support, so much so to the point where the world ending is really just a funny thought, and Phil has three kids who casually have powers that are bit more extreme than anything else in the world)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    156,326
    Chapters:
    33/?
    Collections:
    80
    Comments:
    7,052
    Kudos:
    33,338
    Bookmarks:
    5,111
    Hits:
    1,023,482

    06 Jul 2021

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    (Yes the title is from sofia the first, yes I'm laughing at it, I find it funny-)

    In which Phil has created the Antarctic Empire from the ground up and takes in Techno and Wilbur along the way, and raises them while also ruling his kingdom. Tommy, sixteen, lives with Tubbo in an orphanage, the two of them running around in the cold streets of their town.

    After a hectic day of getting separated from Tubbo, getting into a few fights, and ending up in an entirely new town, he comes across Phil, and saves him from an assassination attempt by smashing a plate over someone's head.

    So then both Techno and Wilbur decide to see who this kid is, and Tommy sure is endearing, in the way that the first time they spy on him, he starts a fight in an alleyway over a bag of cookies.

    (and then Tommy basically gets kidnapped into the royal family, but like, legally, y’know?)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    118,445
    Chapters:
    28/28
    Collections:
    75
    Comments:
    6,270
    Kudos:
    35,468
    Bookmarks:
    5,593
    Hits:
    1,080,969

    16 Jun 2021

  5. This has been deleted, sorry!

    10 Jun 2021

  6. This has been deleted, sorry!

    10 Apr 2021

  7. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Tommy has always been a little too wild. Luckily he's always had someone to hold him down.

    For him to be loyal to.

    What happens when those people leave?

    (Or Tommy is a feral little bushy-tailed gremlin and people may have realized it a little too late)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,965
    Chapters:
    29/?
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    1,143
    Kudos:
    4,841
    Bookmarks:
    663
    Hits:
    103,865

    01 Apr 2021

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Tommy was killed two years ago. Phil buried his youngest son at a private funeral, with very few friends, his two sons, the only attendees. Tommy was murdered in the dry heat between prison walls, beaten to death by a madman's bare hands, and every weapon a prisoner as high priority as Dream could get a hold of. Tommy was killed two years ago.

    Yet here he is. Alive, and inextricably changed.

    His family learns to help.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,861
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    490
    Kudos:
    2,611
    Bookmarks:
    486
    Hits:
    65,164

    27 Mar 2021

  9. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ranboo and Tubbo adopt a child. The first thing they do is make sure he isn't a zombie anymore, and the second thing they do is promise to keep him happy and safe forever.

    A slice of life au where everyone gets along because Michael would be sad if they didn't.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48,658
    Chapters:
    26/?
    Collections:
    10
    Comments:
    2,199
    Kudos:
    4,397
    Bookmarks:
    610
    Hits:
    90,671

    26 Mar 2021

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    "Raccoons, that's what happened. I've never seen them do anythin' like that, it was crazy, they came at me for no reason!" He threw his hands up in exasperation before sitting down on the shoe cubby near the door, unstrapping the sheath from his side and taking his boots off. "I don't know. Oh, there was also some kid out there," he said, almost as an afterthought, and snorted.

    Phil stopped, turning to stare at Technoblade in confusion, "A what?"

    "Not 'a', 'the'. There were multiple raccoons," Techno said indifferently. He stood up, then paused, "You meant the kid," he realized, "Yeah, there was some kid out in the forest. Didn't get a good look though."

     

    (PLEASE READ THE TAGS BEFORE YOU CLICK, SUPER IMPORTANT STUFF IN THERE!! TY <3)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,763
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    182
    Kudos:
    1,734
    Bookmarks:
    196
    Hits:
    34,694

    23 Mar 2021

  11. Public Bookmark 49

    Words:
    22,110
    Works:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    49

    17 Mar 2021

  12. This has been deleted, sorry!

    14 Mar 2021

  13. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    A bunch of interconnected oneshots of racooninnit

    Words:
    11,984
    Works:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    184

    09 Mar 2021

  14. Public Bookmark 15

    Tags
    Summary

    Years before the Dream SMP, Technoblade finds his body is going through supernatural changes after he encounters a mysterious boar in the woods outside his house.
    --------
    Origin story for why Techno is the blood god/my head canon for why Techno is not part of the sbi family dynamic but technically was before so im just trying to get the best of both worlds. also ive never written anything like this before so we have no idea what were doing
    --
    trying to update every thursday night and failing miserably

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,341
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    110
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1,700

    06 Mar 2021

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Everyone knows that gods exist in the world of the Dream smp, representing aspects of daily life, but that's about it. Nobody knows who each god is, and the gods want to keep it that way. They're perfectly fine in their cottage on the outskirts of the smp. At least, they are until a man named Dream claims to be one of them.

    Or

    Tommy, Techno, Philza, and Wilbur are gods. Dream claims to be one of them and they get mad. Also, Karl is a time traveler.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,756
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    116
    Kudos:
    1,488
    Bookmarks:
    246
    Hits:
    21,154

    04 Mar 2021

  16. This has been deleted, sorry!

    04 Mar 2021

  17. Public Bookmark 34

    Tags
    Summary

    Technoblade is an orphan halfling who's lived alone in the forest his entire life, living off scraps. Everything is about to change though when a young boy from a small family finds him

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,015
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    252
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    4,868

    04 Mar 2021

  18. Public Bookmark 34

    Tags
    Summary

    Phil was a warrior. He’d fought many battles, been to war countless times, protected those he’d sworn to serve with his life, risen quickly in the ranks to be promoted to a royal guardsman, slain enemy after enemy on the battlefield, and proven his worth as the best of the best. There was no battle he wouldn’t fight, no enemy he couldn’t take, no hardship he’d not address.

    One battle he never anticipated having to fight was that of parenthood.

     

    alternatively:

    Technoblade grows up on a farm and his dad teaches him how to fight. His brothers are there too. Chaos ensues.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,360
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    306
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    4,066

    02 Mar 2021

  19. Public Bookmark 59

    Tags
    Summary

    Tommy is a raccoon hybrid. He's been living alone in the woods his whole life. Things might change when he gets injured and is rescued by a family.

    rated teen cus swearing and some topics surrounding discrimination

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,440
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    604
    Bookmarks:
    59
    Hits:
    7,581

    02 Mar 2021

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Author's note (June 2024): ......eugh. No supporting Wilbur, I can't even...dude was one of my idols, man. It just sucks, but, y'know how it is.

    (Based off the SBI AU of amazing artist @thechannelwithoutaname on tumblr {and YouTube!}, all credit to them for the ghost AU!)

    Tommy and his best friend Tubbo are stoked to learn that there's a place they can 'hide away' all summer. An old house from some part of Tommy's family that one of his aunts agreed to let them stay in. Problem is, there's a sort of 'local legend' going around, that say the house is haunted by the ghosts of the old residents, that died of somewhat questionable circumstances. A house fire, that no one seems to know how it was caused. Tommy and Tubbo aren't at all worried though. Because, ghosts aren't real!...right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,550
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Comments:
    158
    Kudos:
    897
    Bookmarks:
    121
    Hits:
    16,196

    02 Mar 2021

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