1 - 20 of 22 Works by returnofthelu
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Tea for Two by returnofthelu for FriedKhai
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV), American Girl Dolls - All Media Types
14 Jan 2024
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Nadja Doll needs her legs fixed.
Colin Robinson knows just the place.
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Welcome to Tomb Raiders, where three sexy supernaturals discover that they’re not being chosen as a romantic partner because of their dark good looks or paranormal charms, but for the contents of their crypts!
Guillermo is looking for a date with a vampire on Tomb Raiders. Laszlo, Nandor, and Colin are the owners of the crypts in question. Which one will he choose?
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BIO001 Final Project Submission by returnofthelu for uv_duv
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
17 Jul 2023
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Laszlo, Nandor, and Colin go back to school. One unlucky student learns just how terrible group work can be.
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a song of love from long ago by returnofthelu for rhymeandrisen
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
15 Jul 2023
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The gods have forgotten the song of their love.
Nandor and Guillermo fall in love, and out of love, until the young lovers Laszlo and Nadja remind them of what they once had…it’s Hadestown, Shadows-style.
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it’s my right to be hellish by returnofthelu for yougoadedme
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
19 Feb 2023
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Guillermo has returned ignominiously to the house, where one of the contractors is a little too interested in Nandor for Guillermo’s comfort.
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don’t think I’m trying not to learn by returnofthelu for riskylatte
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
10 Jan 2023
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Fellas, is it gay to teach your familiar to be good at sex* so he doesn’t shame your good vampiric name?
*with his “boyfriend” who may or may not exist
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Be Cherry Afraid by returnofthelu for andiforyou
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
07 Nov 2022
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Nandor and Guillermo enter a costume contest, with mixed results.
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i’ll haunt the world inside you by returnofthelu for Yourfirstdoctor
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
31 Oct 2022
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Guillermo turns around and smiles, a strangely gentle curve of lips for a sadistic murderer’s face.
“Hello, Nandor,” he says, and Nandor clenches his stomach to keep it from hitting his shoes.Three years after the Staten Island Slayer surrendered to the FBI, Nandor returns to get his help on a new case and discovers that some memories are hard to escape.
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bewitched, bothered, and bewildered by Melmo, returnofthelu
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
16 Aug 2022
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"In the past, Marwa was used to sharing her husband with another wife or two or three. She had her favorites, too. She likes Guillermo, and she has her suspicions that underneath his gruff and bluster, Nandor does as well.
Or at the very least, she doesn’t think he’ll say no to taking Guillermo to bed and making him their new favorite."
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After a lackluster wedding night, Marwa and Nandor share a very special dream.
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Let’s Get Physical by returnofthelu for Phasmama
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
09 Jul 2022
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In another timeline, Nandor skipped Panera and chose his new familiar from the Burger King’s legion of knights.
Years later, he and Guillermo still somehow end up with memberships at the same Massive Fitness.
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It’s Gotta Be the Boots by returnofthelu for idyllic_idioms
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
08 Jul 2022
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When the vampire household sat down to watch the American Song Contest, they did not know what chaos this bootleg Eurovision competition would cause in their home.
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Sleeping Arrangements by returnofthelu for telm_393
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
07 Jul 2022
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Two full size adults can’t find a bed that fits them comfortably. They improvise.
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A Public Service Announcement from Your Local Vampiric Council by returnofthelu for the exchange gang
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
05 Jul 2022
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This summer, safety first!
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I’ve Got You Under My Skin by returnofthelu for idyllic_idioms
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
03 Jul 2022
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Nandor the Relentless, vampire pirate captain, seeks the rare treasure that will allow him to daywalk: the skin of a selkie.
Guillermo de la Cruz happens to be the selkie he finds.
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Offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses by returnofthelu
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
19 May 2022
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“And….and such big teeth you have, grandmother,” he finishes, feeling his feet brace themselves instinctually.
“All the better to eat you with!” Nandor roars, throwing himself off the divan, but Guillermo has already turned on his heel and is fleeing to the doorway.--
Nandor suggests some roleplay. Guillermo agrees, regrets it, and then doesn't. -
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Guillermo is tricked into bringing Nandor to his mother’s apartment for family dinner.
His night only gets weirder from there.
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talk so pretty but your heart got teeth by returnofthelu
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
02 Mar 2022
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Jan pegs Nandor and manipulates him. That’s it, that’s the fic.
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Oh no, there’s a leaky pipe and Nandor has to call an emergency plumber!
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Oh no, Guillermo doesn’t have money to pay for his pizza!
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The Bone Ultimatum by returnofthelu for sweatervest
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
18 Jan 2022
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“Come on, roomies,” Colin Robinson interjects. “You’re just gonna keep having this argument over and over again — and believe me, I don’t really mind for now, it’s delicious, but eventually it will start to go stale. You really gotta get to the root of the problem.”
“And what is that, Colin Robinson?”
“You two just need to bone.”
(Or, resolved sexual tension in the workplace.)