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Exactly Like We Were by mysterycultist
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
03 Jun 2016
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Summary
“You can make a fight out of anything,” Bucky says, and affects a laugh, badly. “You can make a metaphor a fight. What the hell do anesthetics have to do with anything?”
Steve almost blurts out, Art is an anesthetic! But at the last second, he gets a hold of himself.
Bookmarked by rustykitchenscissors
15 Jun 2019
Bookmarker's Notes
this! this!!!! this fic is like an ornately carved little drawer pulled from a library card catalogue, through which someone is actively rifling both casually and intently, and also my lungs ache to crush this bucky to my chest!!! i'd say the same about aching to crush steve to my chest but he wouldn't tolerate that so i'm setting him free of my ache. this!
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Keep the Torch Lit by thepartyresponsible
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel, X-Men - All Media Types
20 Apr 2018
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Summary
“Logan,” Charles says, delicately. “Do you know the whereabouts of the Winter Soldier?”
“Nope,” Logan lies, easy as anything. “Haven’t heard a damn thing, Chuck.”
“Logan,” Charles says, “have you forgotten I’m a telepath?”
“Well,” Logan says, a little less pleasantly, “I sure forgot you’re a Goddamn nosy son of a bitch.”
Bookmarked by rustykitchenscissors
22 Mar 2019
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
this made me so happy!!! i am invested!!! the dialogue is perfect and the pacing is perfect and there is so much history and worldbuilding accomplished in so few words!!
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Let's Fall in Love by Desdemon for chaya
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
31 May 2014
Tags
Summary
“I really am sorry, dollface,” Bucky said, his eyes huge and stupid. “I’m just flapping my gums, you know what a chucklehead I am.”
Bookmarked by rustykitchenscissors
18 Feb 2019
Bookmarker's Notes
THE MOST ADORABLE & a revelation of real, fun, ridiculous, grounded warmth.
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you are the light, the calm in the day by loosecannon, sheepknitssweater
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies)
27 Jun 2018
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Summary
Bucky Barnes is a Stark Industries engineer. Steve Rogers is having trouble adjusting to the 21st century for more than one reason. They meet in a broken freight elevator and bond over lavender, bagels, and embarrassing cigarette choices.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,877
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 157
- Kudos:
- 940
- Bookmarks:
- 217
- Hits:
- 15,341
Bookmarked by rustykitchenscissors
19 Dec 2018
Bookmarker's Notes
1. copypasting from one of my comments:
i am so happy every time i get a notification that this very sweet, very funny, very real--all in a quietly confidently kind of idiosyncratic way--fic has updated, and this chapter i'm fucking in love with and delighted about:
"Understandable,” Steve said, jumping the bar behind Bucky. He never, ever paid fare. Whenever Bucky brought up the fact that fare was what kept the trains running, Steve screwed his face up and said, “I’m not supporting a system that has individuals pay in exchange for freedom of movement.” Privately, Bucky figured Steve was just some kind of kleptomaniac with few outlets. It was like dating a fifteen-year-old with a Che Guevara poster sometimes.
AMAZING
2. this has a lot of really textured nuanced thought-out stuff about steve and bucky's different relationships to their gayness and i LOVED that. it hit me in the heart.
3. i never thought i could be this enamored with an oc, teary about bucky's friendship with an oc, or invested in natasha's romance with an oc (grew into more than just a B plot at best). it was a gutsy move but the author pulled it the hell off! i care!!!!
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- Words:
- 56,472
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 183
Bookmarked by rustykitchenscissors
13 Nov 2018
Bookmarker's Notes
are half of my bookmark notes about me crying? they might be; this one is too. this first main fic is such a beautiful alive thing that i felt tearing me to pieces and leaving me alone for brief intervals to start turning back into one piece again and then it said, "haha tricked you," and went back to tearing, but like, how a person tears bread into pieces. not violently, really. i love this bucky deeply. that's what's violent: the love i'm feeling for this bucky. the second fic would be cute and lovely and everything on its own but as a coda to the other feels like such a powerful and bright relief. i read this all straight through the past few hours instead of doing any different thing at all and that was the correct decision. i can't imagine doing it a different way; too immersive and too large a hand.
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Tags
Summary
Natasha ducks her head and pets Cluck Cluck. The hairs that escape her bun are frizzy and puff out. Her hand shakes and then she lets her arm drop slowly so Cluck Cluck slides to the floor and lands like a bounce and ruffles her feathers.
Bucky reaches out to Natasha and takes a big step towards Steve.
Series
- Part 3 of Alphabet
Bookmarked by rustykitchenscissors
08 Jun 2018
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
6/8/18 - i read this not realizing it came after a much larger story; i'll reread it after reading that larger story and then this will be a different bookmark than it currently is, quite possibly. but this is painful and comforting and a shape. a shape that's full and it's large enough that i can dunk my head inside of it and see a lot of its contents but not all of the shape's contents which might have to do with the fact that i haven't read the preceding events and might not realize what context i'm missing but i dearly love this bucky, this steve, this natasha, this chicken.
8/3/18 - i read the full series and it was BEAUTIFUL and it HURT my fucking HEART. extremely painful and extremely an ocean. an ocean viewed over a long period of time and recorded in its every moment. just very very lovely and awful (awful with "awe" as the emphasis) and all-consuming. beautiful fragile love. beautiful fragile recovery.
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they're gonna send us to prison for jerks by napricot
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
14 Mar 2017
Tags
Summary
“Hey Steve, this is Jack Murphy, our other neighbor. Jack, this is Steve.” Steve looked at Sam a little wildly, expecting to see—he didn’t even know, but some reaction other than Sam’s usual easy friendliness. And there was something there, but it was just the twitch of Sam’s mouth that said he found something hilarious and he was trying not to show it. Was this Sam’s idea of a joke, or a prank? Because this guy—behind the glasses and mustache, Steve could have sworn—well, he looked like Bucky.
Series
- Part 1 of we miss being ruffians
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,144
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 538
- Kudos:
- 4,586
- Bookmarks:
- 1,166
- Hits:
- 71,814
Bookmarked by rustykitchenscissors
12 May 2018
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
printing it out, folding it up, wearing it over my heart so it will protect me like the bible ned flanders wears over his heart. thanks. this is the peak of heartbreaking comedy.
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Tags
Summary
Steve Rogers, captain of a losing NHL team, has taken so many bad penalties this season he's worried he's going to get set down to the minors as punishment. His agent comes up with a plan to make Steve irreplaceable to the fans--a reality dating show. Where the contestants want to date Steve.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 83,320
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 379
- Kudos:
- 2,267
- Bookmarks:
- 683
- Hits:
- 28,432
Bookmarked by rustykitchenscissors
22 Apr 2018
Bookmarker's Notes
this! fic! made! me! cry multiple times! as well! also extremely perfect steve & bucky characterizations.
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Summary
Steve gets a message on a job board from a woman looking for a husband for her son so he can get extra money from the government for college. And Steve so totally does not fall in love with his husband. (Except he really, really does.)
- Words:
- 278,669
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 910
Bookmarked by rustykitchenscissors
13 Apr 2018
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
oh me? i love to cry! i love to spend about three days working my way through both the first fic and the extras and also spend those three days crying numerous times on numerous trains, obviously totally coincidentally. definitely not because all of this both ripped my heart out and gently stuck it back into my chest and patted it consolingly. over and over ("Snip snap snip snap snip snap! You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person!" but applied to emotions).
anyway enough about my leaking tear ducts.
i dearly love this steve and this bucky and the honesty about steve rogers' shall we say difficult personality, and about how completely uncomfortable and up-and-down and complicated transitioning from this arrangement even into friendship let alone romance would be. i am easily frustrated by problems in fiction being caused by people failing to communicate but here i'm like, yeah, of course they're failing to communicate; this is an absurd situation and they both have ten million issues, so the miscommunication is still stressful but in a totally earned-feeling way, worth-it way.
and i love that despite the fact that steve is a pretty unreliable narrator on the topic of bucky, bucky's interiority is still very...findable? within reach. not transparent but not opaque if you are not steve and therefore not 100% in his head even if his perspective is very solid and does keep you rooted in his head. you know? you know. but bucky is closed off enough that getting the full story in some of the extras with his pov was like stepping into the sunlight.
also one of the best jobs i've ever seen of fully fleshing out characters' lives with the presence of other people around them, developing their individual relationships with other loved ones outside of the main pairing (and also with not-loved ones, having there be a huge diversity of different connections they have to other people and generally allowing them to have led full lives).
in short: SO adorable and also SO distressing and fully realized and realistic and my heart hurts in basically every way possible, thanks.
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Tags
Summary
The dreamsharing world is basically just a bunch of gossip-loving loudmouths, so Sam has heard a lot about Steve Rogers - a genius, a madman, a miracle of modern science. But joining his extraction team turns out to be something that no rumour can describe.
What was supposed to be an everyday dream heist from a high-up politician turns out to be a vendetta against a crime lord, and somewhere during the four years since the Moscow job Steve Rogers has gotten himself a ghost.
Series
- Part 1 of Mesmeria
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,347
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 189
- Kudos:
- 1,100
- Bookmarks:
- 280
- Hits:
- 18,035
Bookmarked by rustykitchenscissors
07 Sep 2016
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
this is extraordinarily made, in terms of gorgeous writing, gorgeous pacing, gorgeous characterization, all of it. this is the right way to do an au based on a separate fictional universe--not retelling inception with marvel characters, but retelling steve and bucky's stories with the aid of inception's pre-existing worldbuilding. it's a really brilliant rendering of a very similar set of circumstances for each of their characters that's still totally different and highlights completely different aspects/possibilities of their canon selves than the canon circumstances do. ALSO their relationship also just feels so grounded and authentic. it's a quiet and everyday burning passionate world-ending romance. and i obviously love anything where bucky is essentially a totally different person but steve falls in love with him all over anyway (Charming Genius Bucky is ofc also always great).
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Tags
Summary
Steve asks, “What’s going on, Buck?”
As in What’s Eating Bucky Barnes.
Except of course it’s more like What’s Bucky Barnes Eating.
(The answer to both questions would be sometimes nothing, sometimes everything.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,026
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 213
- Kudos:
- 1,505
- Bookmarks:
- 301
- Hits:
- 26,923
Bookmarked by rustykitchenscissors
07 Jun 2016
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
here are a lot of things that i have to say about this fic, which i spent all day reading
1. it didn't make me cry but it caused me to have a physical feeling akin to the moment before crying, but prolonged, a constant cliff-hanging, a solid object.
2. i love how steve and bucky's relationship is portrayed in this: background, casual, constant. they just _are_ in a relationship but that isn't the point of it all. it's about bucky, a person who happens to be in this established & loving long-term relationship. it's so bucky-centric with an intensity that i don't know if i've ever seen before.
3. the writing is beautiful. it's really, really beautiful and flowing and textured and cutting.
4. it, like, look: it's important. it's important and difficult to read fic and i'm happy that i read it.
5. SO MUCH OF HOW RECOVERY IS PORTRAYED IN THIS IS SO REAL. EMOTIONAL RECOVERY. TRAUMA RECOVERY. the feeling of secrecy. shame. it's all so real. it's all so palpable. i want to hug bucky and never let go. -
- Words:
- 25,216
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 452
Bookmarked by rustykitchenscissors
08 May 2016
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
i was planning only to bookmark "fighting" because i always remember that memory exists but forget that it has a sequel, and i wanted to remind myself with the note, "this is so sweet. that's most of what i have to say," but it turns out i want to talk in these notes about memory also. first of all, fighting is so sweet. well, now i've switched tabs and forgotten what exactly i was going to write about memory. i've also forgotten why i insist on writing these in a way that implies that anyone is reading them. here we go. 1. james' single-minded immediate determination in knowing what he wants the infinity gem to do for him kills me. 2. his apartment? his apartment. his apartment. help me. 3. i think this is the only take on The Winter Soldier Isn't Bucky Anymore that i've seen where there's an entire other person who the winter soldier IS, rather than a kind of lack or a pseudo-bucky. 4. i usually recall memory as this story that's so laden down with small details and overwhelming implications that it's too porridgey to reread quickly but it's actually a shockingly clear & quick (clean & clear) read. it's dealing with SO MUCH but never becomes dense about it, which is seriously impressive. 5. steve's defensiveness of james toward bucky is. well. it is. it is. it is. i don't know what to say about it, but jesus.
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Tags
Summary
"It worked because of the way Bucky was, and when it came to that it didn't matter if it was just muscle memory, if he was a shell with the insides rotten--he was gifted with a way of keeping things going when they should have cracked."
Steve usually follows Bucky's lead when the deep conditioning triggers get set off. This time that isn't possible, because Bucky isn't himself anymore, and Steve doesn't know what to do.
Series
- Part 7 of Old ERF
Bookmarked by rustykitchenscissors
05 May 2016
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
i love this series as a whole partially for bucky sleeping in the closet and partially because everything is written in a very human way--a very particular kind of unadorned but off-kilter humanness that's both really funny and painful. BUT this one story provides both a pretty classic Bucky Talking About How He Isn't Bucky Anymore (and addresses that in a way that doesn't make it into a whole dramatic thing) and another kind of sideways, eerie/mundane version of that emptied bucky. an amazing two for one sale!!!
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i'm going there no more to roam by lazulisong for regonym
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies)
02 Aug 2014
Tags
Summary
Neighbor Cat was sitting at their doorstep, thoughtfully washing his snowy paw. He lifted his head when he saw Steve, and sniffed the air before he came up to Steve and began to twine affectionately around his ankles, purring and meowing all at once, interspersed with with hopeful chirrups. Steve supposed Sam wouldn't miss a little of the chicken. He sat down on the stoop and Neighbor Cat rubbed his head hopefully against Steve's knee.
When he opened up the foil package, Neighbor Cat darted close, and in defiance of his usual perfect manners, snatched up the chicken and bolted for the fence, scaling it in two bounds, and disappeared into the gully like a shot.
"What the hell?" said Steve, staring after him.
Series
- Part 16 of HAIRBALLER
Bookmarked by rustykitchenscissors
16 Apr 2016
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
this is deeply fucking weird and deadpan about it and it gives me such life. bleakly hilarious descriptions of steve engaging in bizarre and troubling coping mechanisms and avoidance techniques gives me such life. "The only one not staring in shock was Steve, who had known German Shepherd dogs in the war," gives me such life. this is the kind of fic that much more often gets written about bucky but makes a lot of sense for a fraying steve.
"'Sure,' lied Steve," as a crucial phrase, is my death hill.
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Tags
Summary
It's overcast and rainy in New Amsterdam. Darwin is an associate producer for News Tonight with Moira MacTaggert. Alex works a graveyard shift at the mutant-friendly all-night "Vic's Diner" after a four-year tour of Sin-Cong. Angel works at the Mutant Rights Coalition by day and takes a street jazz class every Wednesday night. No one has seen Raven in weeks, and Erik is starting to become concerned.
In the midst of it all, Trask Industries has recently been put under investigation by the Department of Security.
Series
- Part 1 of This Side of New Amsterdam
Bookmarked by rustykitchenscissors
09 Jan 2016
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
this is the only x-men: first class fic i have ever read and probably the only x-men: first class fic i will ever read because this sufficiently and beautifully meets all of my x-men: first class emotional needs
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I'll build a house inside of you by magdaliny
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
30 Jul 2015
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Summary
Natalia is stacking blocks very carefully when the adults come into the room. None of them look at her, because they're all looking at her father. He's wearing combat gear, and the hair on the left side of his head is slicked back with blood. He smells like smoke and something unnameable, sweet and dark and a little sickly in her nose.
Father is saying, “Don't be ridiculous. The only thing children are good at is disobeying.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,200
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 893
- Kudos:
- 5,691
- Bookmarks:
- 2,622
- Hits:
- 60,702
Bookmarked by rustykitchenscissors
28 Oct 2015
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
this is delicate and healing and i want to reread this many many times. and also think a lot about kate/natasha.
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Confessions by osprey_archer
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
21 Sep 2015
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Summary
Steve wants to tell other people about their relationship. Bucky objects.
And as if that's not enough, the Scapegoat hearings are upon them.
Series
- Part 29 of Reciprocity
Bookmarked by rustykitchenscissors
21 Sep 2015
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
the main reason this is the reciprocity bit i have bookmarked is that this is the one where THEY TALK ABOUT BUCKY NOT BEING ABLE TO TIE HIS SHOES WITHOUT BREAKING THE LACES. MY FAVORITE THING.
“I know,” Steve said.“But I think if we can fix the little things, that will give you more energy to focus on the big things.”
shut up, steve; you don't know me; et cetera
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deep in this anatomy, buried by alcibiades
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Iron Man (Movies)
23 Jan 2015
Tags
Summary
Bucky's relationship with Steve was fairly simple. His relationship with technology - in particular, one specific piece of technology - was a little bit more difficult to explain.
Series
- Part 1 of a little light in your black sea
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 72,294
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 354
- Kudos:
- 1,884
- Bookmarks:
- 435
- Hits:
- 42,813
Bookmarked by rustykitchenscissors
13 Sep 2015
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
this was frequently painful and exhausting to read. in a bone-deep, crucial, and exacting way. it's, like, Too Much. it's very very very very good.
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Summary
Bucky, cut loose, is an object in motion.
Bookmarked by rustykitchenscissors
22 Aug 2015
Bookmarker's Notes
4/22/16
dear diary, i reread this today. i now feel like something very intense and unsettling happened to me but i already can't remember what it was exactly, like walking around all day trying to piece a dream back together.
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A red fish that fits just right in the hand by kvikindi
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
25 Jun 2014
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Summary
Steve asked, "Is it James now?" and he said, "No, Bucky."
But no one else calls him that.
Bookmarked by rustykitchenscissors
21 Aug 2015
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
4/22/16
dear diary, i reread this one today too. how long before i print it out and fold it up and tape it to my wallet to carry around with me and make myself distraught at inopportune moments in public so that i put my coffee down and walk away and stare at the wall? not long, let's assume. it is summer after all.