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The Spider and the Dove (Talking to the Moon) by CountSnackula for slasherlover07
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
06 Dec 2025
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After Columbina vanishes, Arlecchino struggles with grief, isolation, and the hollow ache of lost connection. By day, she navigates the mundane chaos of those around her; by night, she whispers to the moon and counts on fragile routines to quiet the static in her mind. Only glimpses of her “children” and rare, unexpected gestures keep her tethered to reality. When a letter addressed to her rarely spoken true name appears, the fragile threads of her world tremble, forcing Arlecchino to confront the ghosts of the past and the mysteries left behind.
Bookmarked by Uncooked_potato
14 Dec 2025
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Now That I Have You Back in my Arms by sunbakedhashbrowns
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
13 Dec 2025
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6.2 SPOILERS GUYS
After Traveller and co beat Dottore's ass, Arlecchino makes sure Columbina recovers from her injuries. Old friends meet once again and reminisce on times past, and lovers make up for lost time under the moonlight's glow.
or
the one where the two lesbians have gay sex after they kill dottore lmao
Bookmarked by Uncooked_potato
14 Dec 2025
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"I want to experience more. And this?" She places her palm on Arlecchino's cheek and starts stroking it. "This, I could only with you."
What if, during the festival, Arlecchino and Columbina confessed much more to each other?
Bookmarked by Uncooked_potato
09 Dec 2025
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The farm life isn't one you expected yourself to end up in, but most people don't get the opportunity that has been bestowed upon you.
Everyone is intrigued to meet the new farmer, and some are more than interested in getting to know you. Others.. not so much. But you're determined to start anew and make friends in this weirdly close knit town, even if some of the townspeople are odd.
A couple of them have certainly piqued your interest.. especially the mysterious guy living in your carpenters basement.
Bookmarked by Uncooked_potato
01 Dec 2025
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After unexpectedly inheriting Crowe Farm and finding herself back in Pelican Town, Ella is truly happy for the first time in her life.
But if she's so happy, why can't she keep her mind away from the carpenter's frigid son?
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Sebastian never leaves his room. He can't be bothered to; he works from home after all. He's been trying to run from Pelican Town for years, yearning for more than the small town seems to be able to offer.
What happens when the girl he loves hits him with the ultimate rejection, and the judgmental farmer makes him second-guess his unwavering faith in his intuition?
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UNDER EDITING and awaiting epilogue, otherwise complete.
Bookmarked by Uncooked_potato
01 Dec 2025
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During the Lantern Rite, Yanfei is overwhelmed with work and the eerie feeling that something is being kept from her—especially since Hu Tao hasn’t been around for about a month.
(A more satisfying conclusion to the 2025 Lantern Rite story ft. Yanfei)
Bookmarked by Uncooked_potato
18 Nov 2025
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“I just think she’s beautiful,” Hu Tao stated certainly.
“The most alluring flowers tend to have the deepest thorns, Hu Tao,” Zhongli warned, though his voice was still light.
Hu Tao wasn’t listening to him. She waved at him lightly, dispelling whatever lecture he had for her on his tongue. Yanfei was stunning, that much was true, and her grandfather had always told her to appreciate anything she found half as beautiful.
—
Or, Hu Tao thought that the flowers she threw up paled in comparison to the way Yanfei made her feel.
Series
- Part 1 of butterflies would faint if they but knew
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,252
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 170
- Kudos:
- 2,366
- Bookmarks:
- 474
- Hits:
- 39,292
Bookmarked by Uncooked_potato
18 Nov 2025
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A Treatise on Scientific Misconduct (or, How to Use Medical Care as an Excuse to Be Tender) by the_untamed_poet25
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
19 Aug 2025
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“You look,” Alhaitham says, “like a feral poet halfway through a failed opium cleanse.”
Kaveh throws a pillow at him. It lands with a weak thud on the floor.
A noble effort.
Alhaitham writes: Motor functions: impaired. Arm strength: laughable.It is not that Alhaitham doesn’t care.
It’s just that Alhaitham processes care the way most people process tax codes—methodically, rationally, and with a high probability of inducing migraines in romantics.
So he does what any well-adjusted scholar in a crisis does.
He starts a research project.
He calls it: Cure Efficacy and Symptom Response in One (1) Overdramatic Architect: A Longitudinal Study.Or, Alhaitham writes a multi-scroll thesis on Kaveh’s fever and forgets to label it “Desperate Longing, Vol. I.”
Series
- Part 19 of Kavetham / Haikaveh Oneshots & Twoshots
- Part 15 of A Treatise on Intellectual Dumbasses and Their Incomprehensible Love
Bookmarked by Uncooked_potato
11 Nov 2025
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A Treatise on Hermeneutic Aggression (or, How to Weaponize Literary Critique and Still Deny Your Emotions) by the_untamed_poet25
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
05 Aug 2025
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Summary
“Kaveh,” Alhaitham said, with the dispassion of a man invoking legal scripture, “this is not literature. This is fanfiction.”
Kaveh, who had just lovingly—no, reverently—placed a hefty, dog-eared paperback on the shared reading table between them, gasped as though Alhaitham had just insulted his mother, which, arguably, this was worse.
“You’re just too emotionally constipated to appreciate a narrative told through—through five alternating timelines and a cursed dagger that represents generational trauma!”
Alhaitham leaned back in the armchair, visibly appalled. “There’s a typo on the spine, Kaveh.”
“It’s art. It transcends the shackles of your suffocating academic gatekeeping.”
“It’s called Spell My Name Right, and they didn’t. That’s not a metaphor. That’s illiteracy.”
“Oh, and what was that drivel you gave me last week, huh? The twenty-seven page thesis on the socio-political allegory of grain silos?”
Or, Alhaitham calls it “methodology” while Kaveh calls it “metaphor,” and neither of them call it love.
Series
- Part 17 of Kavetham / Haikaveh Oneshots & Twoshots
- Part 13 of A Treatise on Intellectual Dumbasses and Their Incomprehensible Love
Bookmarked by Uncooked_potato
11 Nov 2025
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A Treatise on Emotional Inefficiency in Cohabitation (or, How to Mislabel Feelings and End Up in Love Anyway) by the_untamed_poet25
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
22 Jul 2025
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"You’re angry,” he observed flatly, as if remarking on weather patterns. “Again.”
“I’m creating,” Kaveh snapped. He wasn’t wearing a shirt again, which was likely a war crime, considering how the morning light haloed around his hair like some divine architect who hadn’t finished ascending. “Unlike some of us, I use the emotional spectrum for art.”
“You’re making eggs.”
“They’re symbolic eggs.”
“Of what? Overcooked disappointment?”
“Of repressed homosexual yearning, you cardboard-cutout of a man!”
There was a moment of silence as Alhaitham stared at the flaming skillet and the person having a minor identity crisis next to it.
He moved to the cabinet wordlessly, retrieved a cup, poured tea with all the patience of a man listening to his own execution playlist.
“…Is this about last night?” he asked at last.
Or, the homoerotic epic of two men and one unkissed moment suspended in emotional repression.
Series
- Part 16 of Kavetham / Haikaveh Oneshots & Twoshots
- Part 12 of A Treatise on Intellectual Dumbasses and Their Incomprehensible Love
Bookmarked by Uncooked_potato
11 Nov 2025
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A Treatise on Cognitive Dissonance in Shared Living Spaces (or, How to Fall for Your Subject and Blame It on Science) by the_untamed_poet25
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
15 Jul 2025
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Summary
“You know me,” Alhaitham continued smoothly. “Emotionless. A husk. I’d never write romantic monologues about your voice or dream logs detailing my desire to kiss your stupid mouth. That would be ridiculous. That would mean I—feel things.”
Kaveh’s eye twitched.
“You absolute liar,” he whispered, half in awe, half in psychic damage.
“I’m not lying. I’m just—quantifying performance art.”
“You’re in love with me, and you made it a research paper.”
“A deeply flawed paper. Still awaiting peer review.”
“I’m going to strangle you with my robe sash.”
Alhaitham stepped forward. Close. Too close. Intolerably, infuriatingly close.
“So you did wear the robe to provoke me.”
Or, love was the variable Alhaitham couldn’t control, and Kaveh was the hypothesis that broke him.
Series
- Part 15 of Kavetham / Haikaveh Oneshots & Twoshots
- Part 11 of A Treatise on Intellectual Dumbasses and Their Incomprehensible Love
Bookmarked by Uncooked_potato
11 Nov 2025
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A Treatise on Emotional Catastrophes Dressed as Roommates (or, How to Repress and Profess Your Feelings at the Same Time) by the_untamed_poet25
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
24 Jun 2025
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Summary
Nilou clasps her hands. “We think you’re in love.”
“We’re not,” they say. In unison.
Faruzan throws a pillow at them.
“Let me be clear,” Tighnari says, pacing like a professor confronting academic fraud. “You live together. You argue like rivals, care like husbands, and kissed in front of the fridge. You wrote an entire academic paper about each other’s emotional habits.”
“That was a thought experiment,” Alhaitham replies, coolly.
“It had three footnotes about Kaveh’s eyelashes,” Cyno deadpans.
“They’re very symmetrical,” Alhaitham mutters.
In which the thesis is long, the denial is longer, and the sexual tension could power the entire Akademiya.
Series
- Part 13 of Kavetham / Haikaveh Oneshots & Twoshots
- Part 9 of A Treatise on Intellectual Dumbasses and Their Incomprehensible Love
Bookmarked by Uncooked_potato
11 Nov 2025
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A Treatise on Emotional Overexposure (or, How to Be Seen by Your Roommate Who Knows You Too Well) by the_untamed_poet25
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
10 Jun 2025
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Summary
Kaveh’s throat clicks. “That’s not—don’t—don’t say that unless you mean it, Alhaitham, because I can’t take it if—if—”
“I do,” Alhaitham says. Simple. Unearned. Devastating. “You think I kiss people for rhetorical dominance?”
“I don’t know! You use footnotes in casual conversation! Your existence is already rhetorical!”
“Then let me make it clearer.” Alhaitham leans down. His voice drops like an anchor. “I have spent years listening to your tantrums, watching you build architectural models in your sleep, and pretending your towel slipping after the shower is accidental. I have listened to you scream at documentaries, watched you cry at soap operas, and paid your overdue rent twice without comment. If I wanted meaningless, I could’ve had it. But I want you.”
In which Alhaitham knows all of Kaveh’s tells, reads all his metaphors, and loves him anyway.
Series
- Part 12 of Kavetham / Haikaveh Oneshots & Twoshots
- Part 8 of A Treatise on Intellectual Dumbasses and Their Incomprehensible Love
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,847
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 31
- Kudos:
- 276
- Bookmarks:
- 37
- Hits:
- 2,173
Bookmarked by Uncooked_potato
11 Nov 2025
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A Treatise on Interpersonal Catastrophe (or, How to Journal the Structural Integrity of Yearning) by the_untamed_poet25
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
02 Jun 2025
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Summary
Kaveh gasps like a betrayed lover in a historical drama. “You critiqued my heartbreak!”
“You footnoted your horniness, Kaveh!”
“I—!” Kaveh flushes. “That was artistic nuance!”
“There were diagrams.”
“They helped emphasize the tension!”
“There was a scale from ‘mild yearning’ to ‘I would lick his spine.’”
“IT WAS A THEORETICAL SPINE!”
In which Kaveh writes about Alhaitham, and Alhaitham annotates the emotional wreckage with better grammar and worse restraint.
Series
- Part 11 of Kavetham / Haikaveh Oneshots & Twoshots
- Part 7 of A Treatise on Intellectual Dumbasses and Their Incomprehensible Love
Bookmarked by Uncooked_potato
11 Nov 2025
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A Treatise on Domestic Disasters and Their Philosophical Implications (or, How to Confess Using Blanket Proximity and Poorly Timed Tea) by the_untamed_poet25
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
20 May 2025
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"Are you talking to yourself in the mirror again?” Alhaitham’s voice.
Kaveh gritted his teeth. “No.”
Pause. Then: “You used my conditioner again.”
“That’s because mine is out. And yours smells like pine and sin. Which is clearly your aesthetic.”
Alhaitham chuckled. That infuriating, low, knowing chuckle. “If you want me to buy you a new bottle, just say so.”
“I want you to buy me a one-way ticket away from your smug face—”
“You’re in love with my smug face.”
In which Kaveh spirals into romantic hysteria and Alhaitham observes, waiting.
Series
- Part 10 of Kavetham / Haikaveh Oneshots & Twoshots
- Part 6 of A Treatise on Intellectual Dumbasses and Their Incomprehensible Love
Bookmarked by Uncooked_potato
11 Nov 2025
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A Treatise on the Observational Method (or, How to Lose Your Mind and Gain a Boyfriend in Five Hair Flips or Less) by the_untamed_poet25
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
06 May 2025
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“Oh, oh! You are the single most—infuriating, emotionally unavailable, uptight, lichen-brained man I have ever met—!”
“Mm.” Alhaitham scribbled something in his notebook. “Addendum: subject becomes increasingly eloquent when angry. Elevated use of compound insults. Possible link between caffeine intake and creative vulgarity.”
Kaveh lunged.
There was a flurry of motion, the slap of the notebook being snatched mid-sentence, a lot of swearing (mostly from Kaveh), and then a standoff in the living room that looked like a Renaissance painting titled “The Last Straw, Probably.”
“Give it back,” Alhaitham said calmly, rising from his chair.
Kaveh held the notebook to his chest like a damsel guarding her chastity. “Absolutely not. You wrote a whole damn essay on my hair flip cadence, you psychotic little—”
“It's a perfectly reasonable area of study.”
There are many ways to fall in love. Alhaitham chose the one with footnotes. Kaveh is suffering.
Series
- Part 8 of Kavetham / Haikaveh Oneshots & Twoshots
- Part 4 of A Treatise on Intellectual Dumbasses and Their Incomprehensible Love
Bookmarked by Uncooked_potato
11 Nov 2025
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A Treatise on the Annotation of Attraction (or, How to Intellectualize Your Way into a Love Affair) by the_untamed_poet25
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
15 Apr 2025
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Summary
“Fine. Then prove me wrong.”
Alhaitham’s brow arched. “What do you mean?”
Kaveh leaned back in his chair, arms crossed. “If you think love is something that can be understood through experience, then go ahead. Experience it.”
Alhaitham considered this. “You want me to fall in love?”
Kaveh shrugged. “I want you to test your own hypothesis.”
Another pause.
Then—
“That would require a subject.”
Kaveh snorted. “Good luck with that.”
Alhaitham hummed.
And then—calm, calculated, infuriating—he lifted his pen, tilted his head, and wrote beneath Kaveh’s challenge:
“You’ll do.”
Or, how Alhaitham accidentally weaponized his thesis as a flirting technique and Kaveh is absolutely not having a good time.
Series
- Part 6 of Kavetham / Haikaveh Oneshots & Twoshots
- Part 2 of A Treatise on Intellectual Dumbasses and Their Incomprehensible Love
Bookmarked by Uncooked_potato
10 Nov 2025
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Five Times Kaeya and Albedo Committed Public Indecency (and the One Time They Didn't) by the_untamed_poet25
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
23 Apr 2025
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Five times, Albedo and Kaeya drove the citizens of Mondstadt to exasperation with their flagrant displays of affection (involving anatomical studies in the library, dubious Khaenri'ahn rituals, public intoxication, bar-top seduction, and a Knights of Favonius demonstration). And one time, amidst all the chaos, they shared a quiet moment of understanding that proved louder than any words.
Series
- Part 3 of Kaebedo / Albekae Oneshots & Fics
Bookmarked by Uncooked_potato
10 Nov 2025
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A Treatise on the Thesis of Matrimony (or, How Kaveh Was Gaslit, Gatekept, and Girlbossed Into a Betrothal) by the_untamed_poet25
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
29 Apr 2025
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Summary
“I refuse to let you propose to me like I’m some—some business acquisition!”
“Would you prefer a traditional romantic approach?”
Kaveh threw his hands in the air.
“YES, YOU ABSOLUTE LUNATIC.”
Alhaitham blinked.
A moment of silence passed.
Then:
“…Interesting.”
In which Alhaitham proposes with logic. Kaveh is having none of it.
Series
- Part 7 of Kavetham / Haikaveh Oneshots & Twoshots
- Part 3 of A Treatise on Intellectual Dumbasses and Their Incomprehensible Love
Bookmarked by Uncooked_potato
10 Nov 2025
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A Treatise on the Inherent Moral Failures of Domestic Cohabitation (or, How to Fall in Love Through the Socratic Method and Poorly Timed Silences) by the_untamed_poet25
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
12 Aug 2025
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Summary
Kaveh paced. “Okay. Fine. Let’s play your game.”
“It’s your game.”
“Shut up. Assume mutual desire. Assume emotional repression. Assume shared domestic space.”
“Assumed.”
“Now: Is it ethical to pursue a romantic relationship if doing so risks destabilizing the existing cohabitative equilibrium?”
Alhaitham blinked. “You’re asking if kissing me would ruin the kitchen schedule.”
“I’m asking if kissing you would ethically constitute sabotage.”
There was silence.
Or, the ethics of love were complicated, but the ethics of not kissing each other were worse.
Series
- Part 18 of Kavetham / Haikaveh Oneshots & Twoshots
- Part 14 of A Treatise on Intellectual Dumbasses and Their Incomprehensible Love
Bookmarked by Uncooked_potato
10 Nov 2025