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i'll cut my strings short, i'll hold myself up by Panda_Birds
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
05 Jul 2024
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Summary
Stede had known he was pregnant for all of 20 minutes, and already he wanted to tear every organ out of his body. He wanted to scream, he wanted to burst into tears, he wanted to rip into his abdomen with his bare hands and tear out the clump of cells growing inside him.
He couldn’t do this. Not again.PLEASE READ THE TAGS
Bookmarked by moosh
30 Dec 2024
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Summary
Against Edward's advice, Stede orders a penis enhancement remedy from a sleazy pamphlet.
Unbeknownst to Stede, what he receives is a magic pussy potion.
They're both really into it.
Series
- Part 1 of the ones with the magic pussy potion
Bookmarked by moosh
22 Apr 2024
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Summary
Their first anniversary is just around the corner and Ed has never been happier in a relationship. Stede, on the other hand, could be happier, if he knew he was in the relationship in the first place.
Series
- Part 1 of Plans
Bookmarked by moosh
20 Jun 2023
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Summary
Blackbeard raids a French merchant ship and finds a strange snail in the galley.
Based on The Snail Maiden, also known as The Snail Shell Girl. In this Chinese (Fujian province) folk tale, a kind but poor farmer adopts a snail who -- unbeknownst to him -- is a beautiful heavenly maiden in disguise.
Title from Dreams by The Cranberries.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,267
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 80
- Kudos:
- 257
- Bookmarks:
- 71
- Hits:
- 1,512
Bookmarked by moosh
18 Jun 2023
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Summary
The first time it happens, Ed doesn’t say anything. It’s a normal day. Boring. Maybe he has a hangover, maybe it’s time to stop getting black-out drunk the night before work. But it’s been a while since he’s gotten into trouble for it. He doesn’t have as much to be angry about these days, not anymore. Depressed? Possibly. Feeling like he’s wasted his life? Oh, absolutely, that’s just a fact. He’s 45 years old and working in a dingy, dusty strip mall, living vicariously (at the moment) through a man in a $3000 bespoke suit taking a sledgehammer to a microwave.
PROMPT:
"modern au where Ed is the owner of the rage room and one day Stede comes in after a very stressful day at work, pays 40 minutes for the room, breaks things for 20 minutes and then cries for another 20 minutes" @EDWARDSSTEACH on Twitter- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 58,287
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 481
- Kudos:
- 964
- Bookmarks:
- 220
- Hits:
- 16,511
Bookmarked by moosh
24 May 2023
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Tags
Summary
Welcome to Daytona Sand - a modern gentlebeard smau following the disappearance of Stede Bonnet, and how far his husband is willing to go to find him and bring him home. @polterkaistau on twitter!
Bookmarked by moosh
18 Nov 2022
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Summary
A modern AU in which Ed is a glassblower, because glassblowing is sexy. Ed/Stede medium burn, E rating applies from chapter 4 onwards.
Stede's life is boring, flat, made up of things he didn't choose for himself. He commissions some glass art from Ed as an anniversary gift for Mary, and Stede starts to learn what it is like to want things for himself.
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“Hey, it’s blond guy!”
“Uh,” Stede looks up to see leather and purple and strikingly tumbling hair. “Hi. Stede Bonnet. Blond guy?”
“Yeah man, I’ve seen you in the shop, I call you Blond Guy in my head. Good to have a proper name for you, Stede. I’m Ed.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 50,552
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 820
- Kudos:
- 2,000
- Bookmarks:
- 656
- Hits:
- 31,100
Bookmarked by moosh
19 Oct 2022
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blue as cut sapphires and shining like gold by suchgreatheights
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
20 Sep 2022
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Summary
Stede, a history professor specializing in the golden age of piracy, is fascinated when art professor Edward Teach joins his humble university’s faculty. Even more fascinating are the rumors that Ed is actually the famous, anonymous artist, Blackbeard. Stede falls a little bit in love. Then a lot.
Across the academic year, Stede tips headfirst into dizzying romance, mind-blowing sex, and happiness he couldn't have dreamed up if he'd tried. He learns lessons he never knew he needed, forcing him to reevaluate everything from his career goals to his relationships with his children. Ed is at the center of it all, teaching Stede at every turn exactly how wonderful life can be—and the startling speed with which fear and hesitation could snatch away his newfound love.
Eventually, the only thing that matters for them both is learning enough about love to stop it from slipping through their fingers.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 312,095
- Chapters:
- 34/34
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 2,086
- Kudos:
- 3,441
- Bookmarks:
- 1,186
- Hits:
- 181,013
Bookmarked by moosh
01 Oct 2022
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Tags
Summary
"It's not that they haven't done...things. There's no rules on the open sea, and there's doubly no rules when you're technically dead. But it's mostly been hands and thighs and one tentative (and interrupted) experimentation with Ed's mouth. They've both been sort of nervous to take it further than that, for what Ed is sure are very different reasons. But if there's anybody on this godforsaken Earth that he wants to fuck--or, indeed, be fucked by--it's Stede Fucking Bonnet."
(A kink meme fill. In which Ed is (secretly) a virgin, Stede reads a book, and absolutely no one gets married.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,113
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 53
- Kudos:
- 887
- Bookmarks:
- 107
- Hits:
- 6,364
Bookmarked by moosh
22 Aug 2022
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Summary
Post reunion, Ed's pining after Stede but won't pursue more. That is, until he overhears Stede telling Lucius and Pete about the wonders of docking.
Bookmarked by moosh
15 Aug 2022
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Summary
Stede has a small dick. Turns out Ed is actually into it. Like, really… really into it.
Series
- Part 1 of Little Wonder
Bookmarked by moosh
08 Aug 2022
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kissing is what lovers do (and we're not lovers) by afterism
Fandom Our Flag Means Death (TV)
25 Aug 2022
Summary
A vaguely canon-compliant friends-with-benefits scenario where they've been having sex since episode five but still don't kiss until episode nine, because they're both idiots who don't talk it through as a crew.
- Words:
- 43,822
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 360
Bookmarked by moosh
08 Aug 2022
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Summary
Stede Bonnet became a pirate because he was looking for purpose, and he's found it: in the devotion of his life to making Edward Teach happy.
Which very much includes finding new ways to pleasure him.
AKA: Stede asks to eat Ed's ass for the first time.
Bookmarked by moosh
08 Aug 2022
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Tags
Summary
The 80s are in full swing, and the golden decade of Nintendo Gameboys’ and Sony Walkmans’ has never looked better. In the neon jungle, Stede Bonnet, a young salaryman, meets enigmatic mechanic apprentice Edward Teach, and the pair strike up an unlikely friendship via fax machine, page beepers and gifts in the mail.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 118,107
- Chapters:
- 90/?
- Comments:
- 2,685
- Kudos:
- 4,155
- Bookmarks:
- 1,136
- Hits:
- 130,700
Bookmarked by moosh
02 Aug 2022
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Summary
A modern AU series. Ed is the after-school program director at the prestigious San Augustine Academy. Stede has just returned from a six-month stint in London as the artistic director at the New Rose Theatre. While Mary and Doug are in Barbados for a showing at the Higgins Gallery, Stede is picking the kids up at after-school care.
It's love at first sight.
- Words:
- 35,503
- Works:
- 7
- Bookmarks:
- 111
Bookmarked by moosh
18 Jul 2022
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Summary
A series of short fics that are building up the relationship between Alpha werewolf Anton and vampire Viago von Dorna Schmarten Scheden Heimburg
- Words:
- 57,422
- Works:
- 9
- Bookmarks:
- 53
Bookmarked by moosh
02 Jul 2022
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You kissed me just to kiss me, not to make me cry by makesometime
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
12 Apr 2022
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Summary
“Ed?”
He’s getting distracted. It’s probably a defence or something, against worrying that he’s laying himself bare to someone who might just go and fuck it all up again and leave him, more heartbroken than before.
“Yeah.” He smiles. “I’m here.”
Bookmarked by moosh
14 Jun 2022
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Tags
Summary
The downside to being stuck on a desert island is that Stede's not awfully good at adapting. The upside is that he and Ed can finally have some peace and quiet– that is, if Ed ever wakes up from the gunshot wound in his stomach.
Stranded in the middle of who-knows-where, Stede learns the art of reflection and how to embrace the man who looks back.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,702
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 322
- Kudos:
- 2,200
- Bookmarks:
- 739
- Hits:
- 26,276
Bookmarked by moosh
03 May 2022
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Tags
Summary
“Now you’re—” Stede babbles, going absolutely pinkish. “You’re laughing again!”
Ed nods, still giggling. “I’m just—I’m sorry, it’s not because—”
“Am I doing something wrong?”
“Stede, darling,” Ed says, cupping Stede’s face. “Don’t be foolish. It’s because you’re doing something right.”
Or: Stede’s never laughed during sex before. Hell, he’s barely even smiled. So when Edward can’t stop giggling during their first time, he’s not really sure what to think.
Series
- Part 1 of love, laughter, and other fine things
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How the Other Half Lives by reedroad
Fandom Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebels
16 Sep 2023
Summary
A series of fics following Luke and Leia's journey if Obi-Wan had taken Leia and Bail had taken Luke.
- Words:
- 703,552
- Works:
- 10
- Bookmarks:
- 882
Bookmarked by moosh
23 Apr 2020