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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    When Ilya comes down with the flu, Shane discovers a side of his boyfriend he's never seen before: needy, clingy, and devastatingly soft. It's adorable, concerning, and Shane is absolutely not prepared for how much he loves it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,991
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    108
    Kudos:
    3,331
    Bookmarks:
    640
    Hits:
    45,231

    22 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane gets called ‘boring.’ Ilya makes it worse by playing along. Shane tries to pretend it's fine. Ilya calls his bluff.

    Cue in a fight, a stubborn silence, a slammed door that never closes, and a tiny, broken sound that changes everything.


    “You say you’re boring, fine. You can be boring for the whole damn world. I’ll still kiss you senseless and drag you home after every game. I’ll still make you moan loud enough to shake the walls. None of that changes.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,560
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    113
    Kudos:
    6,642
    Bookmarks:
    1,340
    Hits:
    64,353

    21 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya has always been good at reading his husband, and as he replays that night in Vegas in his head, the heated look on Shane’s face, the moans and gasps and begs pulled from his lips, he is sure he hadn’t got it wrong.

    But Ilya can’t reconcile his memory of that night with the look of fear on Shane’s face just a couple of hours ago.

    Although Ilya hadn't meant to, it was almost the same setup; he had recreated Vegas in their own bedroom.

    He was fully dressed, watching from a chair at a distance, as Shane lay on a large, empty bed entirely naked and gave Ilya a show.

    Ilya feels sick at the thought that he was wrong that night, that Shane had hated it, hadn't wanted it, but went along with whatever Ilya had ordered.

     

    Or Ilya unintentionally recreates that night, Shane spooks a little at the memory of 'we didn't even kiss', and Ilya spirals completely.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,857
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    2,036
    Bookmarks:
    345
    Hits:
    16,633

    21 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane doesn’t respond right away, he just looks at him for a moment longer, before he nods back, mouth curving into a faint smile. A sad smile that Ilya didn’t expect. 

    He breaks the eye contract, turning his face to the side as he starts blinking hard, like he’s trying to force something back. 

    And oh. 

    Ilya’s chest constricts sharply when he realises what the other’s doing. 

    Shane is doing it again. Hiding his feelings before they can spill over. Stopping himself from crying. It’s an odd habit Ilya has noticed from the very beginning, the fact that Shane never truly lets his tears fall. Doesn’t matter how heavy the shine around his eyes becomes, they’re always swallowed back inside. 

    ___________

    Wherein Ilya comforts Shane after stupidly proposing the idea to marry Svetlana for a citizenship.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,215
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    79
    Kudos:
    2,981
    Bookmarks:
    532
    Hits:
    25,717

    20 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Uh, Ilya? More vodka?” David offers tentatively.

    “Sure, okay. Maybe one more,” Ilya says. He’s not entirely sure what's considered an acceptable drink limit for the occasion of ‘Surprise! Your son is gay and I’ve been fucking him in secret under the nose of the entire MLH and Scott Hunter in the hotel room next door, and I’m in love with him, actually,’ but given the look on his face, well - David might need the second drink more than Ilya does at this present moment.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,397
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    287
    Kudos:
    4,903
    Bookmarks:
    637
    Hits:
    30,830

    27 Apr 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    24,977
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    748

    22 Apr 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Why was the fucking balcony door open?” 

    “I had a cigarette,” Ilya admits in a guilty rush. “You don’t like the smoke. I was—trying to get it out before you came. And then you were here, and I—” 

    And then Shane was here, and any hope of thinking about absolutely anything else had vanished into the chill of the night air. But he can’t say this, can’t say that the world narrows to a fine point when Hollander enters a room, that Ilya can finally fucking get in air when all he has to do is touch Shane like breathing and not carry Cups and build legacies and grin and bear it for cameras and share a last name and an ankle-weight of a country with his father. 

    “Sorry,” Ilya tells him again, hating the way his voice trembles. 

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,430
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    61
    Kudos:
    1,620
    Bookmarks:
    188
    Hits:
    8,052

    20 Apr 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    54,358
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    516

    14 Apr 2026

  9. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    Snapshots of the Ottawa Centaurs captain, Shane "walks my husband like a dog" Hollander and Ilya "media menace" Rozanov. Best if read chronologically but not required.

    Words:
    16,770
    Works:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1,701

    13 Apr 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya knows firsthand that the world isn’t comfortable. It’s loud, bright, demanding, a harsh place in direct opposition to everything he’s recently learned about autism.

    Is it so wrong that he wants Shane to feel safe here? To carve out a space where, even if only for a few hours, he doesn’t have to grin and bear anything? He can just be?

    Or: Ilya Rozanov has a lot of good ideas. Telling his fuck buddy that he should consider getting an autism diagnosis isn’t one of them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,094
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,236
    Kudos:
    19,311
    Bookmarks:
    3,962
    Hits:
    105,106

    09 Apr 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    55,432
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    2,879

    09 Apr 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    a compilation of connected oneshots that explore the relationship between Shane and Ilya, told through the eyes of the people around them

    Words:
    20,168
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    281

    08 Apr 2026

  13. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Hi. This is Ilya. I will never listen to your voicemail.

    The greeting wasn’t a joke or an exaggeration—it was the truth. Shane leaves messages anyway, confessions to a digital void that will never judge him, and never push him away.

    At least, that’s what he thinks.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,253
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    1,286
    Kudos:
    12,271
    Bookmarks:
    2,029
    Hits:
    81,722

    08 Apr 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The thing about shame, Shane had learned, was that it tasted metallic. Like blood in your mouth after taking an elbow to the face, or the way your tongue felt after biting it to keep from screaming during a particularly brutal check. It coated everything: his morning coffee, the complimentary breakfast at the hotel, even the Seattle air that hit him when he stepped outside the terminal.

    We are nothing, Hollander.

    Three months. Rozanov hadn't answered a single text, a single call, not even the one Shane had sent at 2 AM after too little inhibition and too much loneliness, the one that just said please. Radio silence. Complete and total ghosting, like Sochi never happened, like his apartment never happened, like Shane giving himself to Rozanov in a way he'd never done with anyone meant absolutely nothing.

    (Or, Shane decides to put a bandaid on a bullet hole and this is how it goes down.)

    Now including bonus chapters!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,263
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    152
    Kudos:
    2,082
    Bookmarks:
    546
    Hits:
    34,434

    06 Apr 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Everybody else on earth was born with a manual on How to Be. A sort of silver spoon already tucked into their mouth.

    Shane wishes he had gotten one.

    After an exhausting day of masking and overstimulation, Shane has a panic attack. He loses the ability to speak. Thankfully, Ilya is there to help him through.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,285
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    453
    Kudos:
    8,718
    Bookmarks:
    1,945
    Hits:
    97,105

    06 Apr 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    After Vegas, Shane is convinced Ilya is done with him, and finds another man to sleep with in a desperate hope to fix whatever is wrong with him. Except Shane drops hard after his one night stand, and accidently picks up a call from Ilya while he's sobbing on the floor of his hotel room.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,145
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    2,601
    Bookmarks:
    341
    Hits:
    22,682

    05 Apr 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    310,747
    Works:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1,850

    05 Apr 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane Hollander is tired of wanting someone he cannot have, and he’s dying as he waits for someone who will not stay. Someone who doesn’t want to stay, not when there are so many others waiting for him. Fun of another variety, Shane left a treat amongst many.

    It’s humiliating. It’s distracting. And it feels like shit.

    He wishes he could erase his feelings, move on as easily. In an effort to gain back control over the ‘situation’ that has become his romantic attraction to a notorious player, Shane attempts at imitating Ilya Rozanov’s methods until he perfects them and becomes as good as keeping it light and casual as his rival.

     

    Or Shane tries to Hoe Phase himself into a self discovery journey to choke and kill his feelings for Ilya Rozanov. Ilya is not the only who suffers from it, but he sure feels like he’s being choked and killed.

    ___
    Story ends after chapter 6 but I keep writing bonus because the hyper fixation doesn’t end.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,658
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    1,104
    Kudos:
    10,217
    Bookmarks:
    3,096
    Hits:
    246,193

    05 Apr 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    He wasn’t ready for this.

    Maybe he never would have been, not in two, or five, or ten years. Maybe he would have spent the rest of his life holding this secret inside, not telling a single soul about the way his heart beats for his biggest rival. Or maybe, in a year or ten or once he’s retired, he might have come out publicly. Might have shared his truth with the world.

    But that was supposed to be his choice. To tell or not to tell, to hide in the shade or step out into the sunshine. It was supposed to be his decision, and now it’s been taken from him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,437
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    422
    Kudos:
    11,511
    Bookmarks:
    2,310
    Hits:
    94,832

    05 Apr 2026

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    130,995
    Works:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    550

    05 Apr 2026

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