1 - 20 of 134 Bookmarks by thievingbird
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“Are you asking, Mr. Hands, if you can leave us for a month or two to sail up north?” Stede clarifies.
“Ah, you have no idea, Bonnet,” Izzy says. “Since I was a lad, there’s nothin’ I’ve wanted more than to get out there with those—those—” Izzy makes pinching gestures at the horizon, so utterly enraptured with the thought of whales that he’s apparently forgotten the name of them.
It is, Stede hates to admit, unbelievably endearing.
“Of course you may go, Izzy,” Stede says.
“What?” Ed blurts out. “Wait. Didn’t we just talk about this?”
(Izzy is desperate to go a-whaling. Stede is desperate for him and Ed to distance themselves from their rancid codependency. Ed wants his matelot's forgiveness and his boyfriend's devotion, but first and foremost he wants to maim a fucking whaler.)
Bookmarked by thievingbird
26 Mar 2024
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Lady of Shalott (a late-flowering rose) by Transformatron
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
31 Dec 2023
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Summary
An Omega’s emotional and material needs must be met before they can present. They must want for nothing, know no scarcity, and (most importantly of all) feel safe.
Perhaps Stede should have considered this before he reclaimed captaincy of the Revenge and helped Ed lay the Kraken to rest – especially since, six months later, one very bewildered Israel Hands goes into the first heat of his life.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 67,631
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 772
- Kudos:
- 1,388
- Bookmarks:
- 246
- Hits:
- 26,723
Bookmarked by thievingbird
31 Dec 2023
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Summary
Izzy looks to Edward, mouth working helplessly.
“Just let it happen, mate,” Ed suggests.
“I was hoping,” Stede continues, a little irritated by the lack of support, “that you’d let me—and Ed—know if there’s anything we could be doing differently, to make you more comfortable.”(Or: How Izzy Hands learned to stop worrying and love his co-captains.)
Series
- Part 1 of love like a powder keg
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 118,249
- Chapters:
- 24/24
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 2,192
- Kudos:
- 4,259
- Bookmarks:
- 921
- Hits:
- 116,942
Bookmarked by thievingbird
24 Dec 2023
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Summary
The crew of the Revenge are only together for less than a year but it is decades of choices that lead them to that ship. The lead them all, including Blackbeard and his crew, to Stede Fucking Bonnet.
Israel Hands has lived a long life.
He is used to pain.
He is used to disappointment.
He always knew he would die one day, he just didn’t realize this was how it would go.
***
A fic that explores Izzy's life from the very beginning and all the choices he made that led him to Blackbeard, then to the Revenge, and then to everything after.
Series
- Part 1 of Here Be Monsters
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 172,418
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 410
- Kudos:
- 447
- Bookmarks:
- 138
- Hits:
- 14,731
Bookmarked by thievingbird
18 Sep 2023
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Stede Bonnet's Guide to Being in a Throuple by georges1982_96
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
20 Aug 2022
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Summary
Stede fell in love with Ed the day they met, the moment the man walked into Stede’s newly opened bakery and breathed reverently, “Holy shit, this is fucking insane.”
The only hitch? Stede is pretty sure Ed is married and off-limits.
Until a few weeks later, Ed kisses him.
Otherwise known as the fic where Stede assumes Ed and Izzy are married so he's now part of a throuple, and ends up saving a marriage that didn't actually exist in the first place.
Series
- Part 1 of OFMD Modern Day Throuple AU
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 50,177
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 659
- Kudos:
- 1,782
- Bookmarks:
- 339
- Hits:
- 24,721
Bookmarked by thievingbird
07 Aug 2023
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Though his first attempt at hiking the Appalachian Trail in 1998 was ultimately a failure, Blackbeard's blog about the adventure was not. Now world-renowned as a thru-hiking influencer (don't call him that), Ed is only missing completion of the AT to round out the Hiking Triple Crown. What better time to try again than on the 25th anniversary of his failure? His manager/ editor/ moderator/ boyfriend Izzy is along for the ride, although he's not going to go quietly after what happened last time. No matter what Edward thinks, Izzy knows he can't simply re-do the events of his past.
Freshly divorced, Stede Bonnet takes to the trail the same week, looking for a new lease on life. He's inexperienced, sure, and maybe he lacks in physical fitness, but what he does have is gumption. Gumption, and a few dozen pounds of the most expensive new hiking gear on the market. That can get him all the way to Maine, right?
When their hikes collide, sparks will fly whether they like it or not, and their past on the trail may come back to haunt Ed and Izzy in a more literal sense than they ever imagined.
Bookmarked by thievingbird
05 Aug 2023
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If it had been nothing more than an accident of sex, Izzy wouldn’t have gone with her. She’d have fought her way out, somehow, found a new crew, forgotten all about the tall, bearded woman and her enchanting voice.
But it wasn’t.
When all was said and done, it was very simple: from that moment on, Izzy knew who she belonged to.
Bookmarked by thievingbird
08 May 2023
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Upset by the loss of their Navy hostages, Stede and crew take Izzy Hands hostage instead. They plan to ransom him back to his captain: funny, he didn’t mention his captain was Blackbeard…
A post-S1E2 canon-divergent AU in which Stede takes Izzy hostage, and they get to know each other before Ed is in the picture. And then Ed is in the picture, and all hell breaks loose.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 79,136
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 646
- Kudos:
- 2,140
- Bookmarks:
- 630
- Hits:
- 33,922
Bookmarked by thievingbird
20 Feb 2023
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Summary
Alma joins the crew of the Revenge for the summer. Stede is not a very good dad, Izzy is a great dad and Ed is just happy to be surrounded by DILFs.
- Words:
- 19,559
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 92
Bookmarked by thievingbird
12 Feb 2023
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Hear the mermaids singing, each to each by Leu (Karaii)
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
31 Jul 2022
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Summary
“Captain?” Izzy rasps. “Orders?”
“Hold me down,” Blackbeard commands casually, sliding so his long legs encircle Izzy and his ass presses flush against Izzy’s leather-bound bulge. “I wanna jack off while I’m drowning.”
Bookmarked by thievingbird
10 Feb 2023
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- Words:
- 71,539
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 196
Bookmarked by thievingbird
28 Jan 2023
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Summary
Izzy was a lot of things, but he wasn’t an idiot.
It had come as no surprise when he had been looking over the edge of the ship and he had seen the golden hair of Stede Bonnet in the distance. No one left Edward Teach, not willingly, and Izzy had assumed that eventually Stede would have at least come for the ship.
Ed shrugged, “glad he’s back though.”
Izzy wouldn’t admit that he agreed.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 45,698
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Comments:
- 227
- Kudos:
- 726
- Bookmarks:
- 112
- Hits:
- 11,382
Bookmarked by thievingbird
10 Jan 2023
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take the pain, take the pleasure by shatteredhourglass
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
07 Oct 2022
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Summary
“If I didn’t know better,” Ed says, hand tracing down Jack’s arm slowly, deceptively gentle, “I’d think you were fucking around with my things, Jack.”
In which Ed and Izzy collectively menace the men who choose to get involved with them. Or, five times someone wasn't allowed to fuck Izzy Hands' pussy, and one time they were.
Bookmarked by thievingbird
07 Oct 2022
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Summary
Off the starboard bow, the fog parts, and a sleek, smooth ship slips into view, easy as a panther before a fat, helpless sheep. Atop the mainmast flies a strange, horrible flag — two daggers stacked above a grinning skull, laid a field of mourning-black.
Sound falls away. Only the pounding of Israel’s heart and the creak of the rail under his white-knuckled grip remain.
Pirates.
When Israel Stockard's ship is raided, he catches the eye of a strange, brilliant young pirate named Edward Drummond -- and finds himself stumbling face-first into a new world of violence and intrigue.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 40,153
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 180
- Kudos:
- 312
- Bookmarks:
- 113
- Hits:
- 4,127
Bookmarked by thievingbird
03 Oct 2022
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Summary
What if instead of selling Stede out to the British, Izzy returned to the Queen Anne and discovered her under new management?
What if Ed comes back from St Augustine and discovers that Izzy is now Calico Jack's first mate?
And what if Chauncey Badminton still found Stede Bonnet anyways?A reimagining of season 1 starting from episode 6 and spiraling out from there.
Featuring - Treachery! Naval battles! Mutinies! Heartfelt confessions! Boys kissing! Calico Jack being a magnificent bastard!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 64,607
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 102
- Kudos:
- 280
- Bookmarks:
- 68
- Hits:
- 5,732
Bookmarked by thievingbird
25 Sep 2022
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Summary
In which Stede Bonnet discovers his inner sadist, Izzy Hands discovers care & love as it fits him, and Ed gets to be as soft as he's ever wanted to be. Just not without a few scars along the way.
Post season 1 reunion fic with a focus on Stizzy/Gentlehands as a leadup to eventual Steddy Hands. Accuracy around history, piracy, and medicine are on the backburner. It's eventually very hopeful and loving, I think, but it takes a little while to get there. Check the notes at the beginning (and beginnings of each chapter) for more trigger/content warnings.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,509
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 560
- Kudos:
- 934
- Bookmarks:
- 221
- Hits:
- 15,496
Bookmarked by thievingbird
16 Sep 2022
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Summary
Izzy still doesn't precisely know how to feel about work this morning, but it's somewhere between scorn and dread.
He's already encountered the new General Manager's influence; Edward's unilateral decision last week to change his signature block to read co-General Manager, for fuck's sake, which Izzy had had to push back on. Izzy's also had actual contact with him; brief, over Teams. His impression of the man wasn't precisely flattering.
Day one of the High Income Tax Policy and Enforcement Branch, and Izzy doesn't really have any idea what to expect.
–
Israel Hands has been the Executive Officer to Edward Teach, General Manager of High Income Tax Enforcement, for a long time. He knows this job, he knows Edward, and he knows how to keep his life separate from work - for the most part.
And then the branch is restructured to include Stede Bonnet, General Manager of Tax Policy, and his team of fucking clowns. Suddenly Izzy has two bosses, irritating coworkers, and a rapidly disintegrating line between the personal and the professional.
Not to mention Edward's behaving more erratically than usual.
(It's a romcom).
Series
- Part 2 of no new year's resolution
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 76,444
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Comments:
- 1,305
- Kudos:
- 1,204
- Bookmarks:
- 389
- Hits:
- 25,255
Bookmarked by thievingbird
04 Aug 2022
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Summary
Soulmates AU cliche where the majority of the population is born with a mark that identifies their soulmate.
Contrary to popular belief, Izzy Hands was born with a soulmark. He’d suspected for years that the matching mark was carried by Edward, but he’d always been too afraid to ask. Enter Stede, who carries the match to Izzy’s own soul mark and who Edward is instantly and obviously head over heels for (and who so blatantly returns those feelings) and Izzy is truly in hell.
Cannon-divergence from the end of episode 4.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,474
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 78
- Kudos:
- 1,197
- Bookmarks:
- 213
- Hits:
- 7,840
Bookmarked by thievingbird
01 Aug 2022
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- Words:
- 82,098
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 296
Bookmarked by thievingbird
25 Jul 2022
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Summary
Izzy has never had a nice heat in his life, but apparently Stede motherfucking Bonnet has decided to change that.
Series
- Part 1 of Feral omega Izzy Hands
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,025
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 143
- Kudos:
- 1,525
- Bookmarks:
- 298
- Hits:
- 19,385
Bookmarked by thievingbird
21 Jul 2022