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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya: Troy came out to the team a few days ago and then asked me for your number

    Shane: And you thought it would be a good idea to give it to him?

    Ilya: It’s been a boring few months.
    Ilya: Was he awkward? He is so awkward.
    Ilya: He is about as bad at being gay as you are.

    Shane: Fuck you.
    Shane: And YES. It was fucking awkward.

    Ilya: I knew it.
    Ilya: Tell me everything.

    Shane: He told me he was gay.
    Shane: Which WTF. Didn't see that coming.

    Ilya: Okay, yes. And?

    Shane: And then he asked me out on a date.

    Ilya: What.

    Shane: And now we’re going to dinner next week after the game.

    Ilya: WHAT.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,852
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    721
    Kudos:
    22,098
    Bookmarks:
    2,611
    Hits:
    148,839

    01 Aug 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    On a late night in 2005, two bored and lonely strangers stumble upon each other within the virtual world of Club Penguin. Their names are Metr0sKid24 and 81ilyA, and this is their story.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,532
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    104
    Kudos:
    647
    Bookmarks:
    142
    Hits:
    5,371

    30 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    The day he finally can invite Shane back to his place, months after the Tuna Melt incident, Ilya got shot instead. He still drove back home, because death can wait, he needs to win Shane back first.

    Well, as it turns out, all actions have consequences; Ilya’s was having to go through the indignity of finally having his feelings returned, while everyone watches.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,525
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    241
    Kudos:
    6,954
    Bookmarks:
    1,517
    Hits:
    53,080

    29 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane leaves that Vegas penthouse suite feeling wretched, and like an idiot, and like he never wants to see Ilya Rozanov again.

    Except, well. Then there are zombies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    95,670
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    3,937
    Kudos:
    12,524
    Bookmarks:
    5,694
    Hits:
    203,485

    23 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 48

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    Summary

    Millionaire and tech company co-owner Ilya Rozanov has no direction in life. He’s depressed, drinks a little too much, and can’t seem to form any meaningful relationships.

    His life changes drastically after he impulsively buys Shane – a prototype android that was about to be dismantled after failing user tests.

    Shane is beautiful, sweet, and earnest. He also proves to be the most infuriating thing Ilya has ever met.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,843
    Chapters:
    2/4
    Comments:
    75
    Kudos:
    119
    Bookmarks:
    48
    Hits:
    2,291

    23 Jul 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    If Ilya Rozanov was set to be branded for life in the space above his butt crack, he was damn well going to pay a premium for it.

    Booking with one of the most exclusive tattoo studios in North America was the easy bit.

    Having his brain melted into oblivion by Shane Hollander’s steady hands and even steadier voice was decidedly not part of the plan.

    Or, the one where tattoo artist Shane is very good at giving instructions.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,778
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1,038
    Kudos:
    13,847
    Bookmarks:
    3,712
    Hits:
    119,834

    11 Jul 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Jaw Man flicked his middle finger up at Ilya, who didn’t seem to mind, and gestured towards Shane and Hayden with raised eyebrows. “The f*** are you even doing right now, man.”

    Ilya said briefly, “Orgy.”

    “Uh,” said Shane, “no, that’s not—”

    Ilya grinned at him. It was a mean-edged grin but something about it seemed to suggest that he was joking with Shane, rather than about him. “Oh, he speaks.”

    “We’re not here for an orgy,” Shane said to Jaw Man. “We’re missionaries with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,138
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,295
    Kudos:
    5,452
    Bookmarks:
    1,847
    Hits:
    54,497

    09 Jul 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “If I gave Jackie a day of getting to have sex with me whenever she wants as a thank you for tidying the living room, I think she’d divorce me,” Hayden says.

    “Nah, man, she’d kill you,” J. J. says, which is probably true.

    Shane shrugs. “That sounds like a straight people problem.”

    Hayden is truly glad that the times of Shane torturing himself by being in the closet are over. But. Well. This conversation is kind of making him miss those days.

    ---

    Finally, after everything, Shane is a happily married man. Incredibly happily married. It only becomes a problem once he thinks it qualifies him to dispense relationship advice.

    Or, five times Shane gives relationship advice his friends disagree with, and one time he doesn’t.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,060
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    561
    Kudos:
    15,081
    Bookmarks:
    2,311
    Hits:
    91,948

    02 Jul 2026

  9. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Rozanov made a dismissive noise. “No, no, I will pick you up. Send me your address.”

    “I’m not giving you my home address.”

    “Why not!”

    “Because you’ll probably post it on social media to psych me out before our next game.”

    That made Rozanov laugh. “It is good idea,” he said. Stopped laughing. Started again. Blew out a breath like he had to get himself together. “I might do this to you,” he allowed, “but you have nice boyfriend living with you now. I would not do this to him. You are safe.”

     

    In which Ilya Rozanov adopts himself into Scott and Kip's household and refuses to leave. Kip finds this very sweet. Scott is going to kill him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,878
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    2,607
    Kudos:
    14,097
    Bookmarks:
    4,242
    Hits:
    133,373

    25 Jun 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ten years ago, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov were the two most ruthless students at University of Michigan Law School. Brilliant, combative, and incapable of staying away from each other, they spent three years trying to out-argue, outmaneuver, and outlast one another in lecture halls, libraries, and the privacy of Shane’s apartment. Somewhere between the rivalry and the obsession, they fell disastrously in love.

    And then it ended horribly.

    Now, a decade later, Shane is a partner at a big-time law firm in Montreal and Ilya is the star attorney in Boston who sticks up for the little guy, and they have been hired to fight on opposite sides of a heated civil trial. The case is supposed to be standard, easy, simple. Instead, it becomes a slow-motion collision with everything they spent ten years trying to bury. In court, the burden of proof is everything. As the trial drags on and old wounds reopen, Shane and Ilya are forced to confront the question they never answered the first time around. Can they prove to themselves that what they had is truly over, or has the verdict already been waiting for them all along?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    65,058
    Chapters:
    13/18
    Comments:
    479
    Kudos:
    265
    Bookmarks:
    174
    Hits:
    10,453

    25 Jun 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya is a young man in America. Here he is in the off hours.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,683
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    294
    Kudos:
    3,479
    Bookmarks:
    1,037
    Hits:
    28,722

    17 Jun 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    So what is the plan now, Mr. Spreadsheet?

    “Honestly I was kind of hoping your consciousness would just click back into your body once I touched you.” Shane scratches the back of his head.

    You treat me like slap bracelet, Ilya complains.

    After a bad hit knocks Ilya’s consciousness out of his body — literally — Shane finds himself sheltering the soul of his decade-long situationship in the back of his head. Turns out it’s a lot harder to keep secrets when you share a body.

    (They definitely still try, though.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,974
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    961
    Kudos:
    7,505
    Bookmarks:
    2,245
    Hits:
    100,057

    15 Jun 2026

  13. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    Set after season 1.
    Shane and Ilya try this dating thing for real.
    Slice-of-life explorations on sex, rivalry, and looove.

    Now complete!

    Words:
    80,856
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    1,545

    13 Jun 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane Hollander does not leave outcomes to chance. When traditional dating fails to produce the stability he wants, he turns to a private matchmaker who promises something more deliberate: one match, one meeting, one decision.

    Ilya Rozanov never planned to get married. But when his carefully controlled life starts to unravel, marriage becomes the simplest solution.

    Neither of them is looking for love. What they agree to is a calculated partnership, built on alignment, not emotion.

    It should be straightforward.

    It is not.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    128,137
    Chapters:
    28/28
    Comments:
    567
    Kudos:
    1,416
    Bookmarks:
    680
    Hits:
    60,846

    09 Jun 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    "Is okay, Hollander," said Rozanov. "I will help you. You are," he paused. "Stunted. I looked up this word."
    -
    Or: teenage Ilya billets with the Hollanders. He and Shane stumble into what eventually becomes an intense, obsessive, codependent d/s dynamic that escalates wildly for years after. Special mentions to denial, repression, pining-while-fucking, Minnesota, sexting, eternal soulmate love, and being unbelievably horned up at every single moment of the day.

    Not a teen fic I promise! They are adults after chapter two.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    89,699
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    865
    Kudos:
    2,236
    Bookmarks:
    1,041
    Hits:
    76,054

    06 Jun 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    A night out at the Kingfisher during a team roadtrip to New York leaves Ilya cursed with a truth spell. Worried this will ruin everything for Ilya and Shane and their very secret relationship, Ilya scrambles to break the curse before saying anything he can't take back.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,509
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    776
    Kudos:
    13,721
    Bookmarks:
    2,276
    Hits:
    111,867

    04 Jun 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “When you’re with her,” Ilya continues, voice rough and breathless, “and she does fuck all for you no matter how hard you close your eyes, do you try to angle your hand so she brushes up on the scar? Do you do everything you can to remember it exists? Am I there with you, Hollander? Always?”

    Shane wants to touch him—so he does the only thing he’s allowed to do.

    He throws the first punch.

    Or: After Shane and Ilya's first on-ice fight sends the media into a frenzy, the league forces them to date to control the narrative.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,553
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    228
    Kudos:
    3,104
    Bookmarks:
    1,092
    Hits:
    50,111

    04 Jun 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    I woke up with an idea for a fic of Ilya in The Family Man (the 2000 movie with Nic Cage,) then immediately nixed it because it’d be incredibly short with no tension because Ilya would be like hell yeah no further questions, your honor.

    Then I decided to write it anyway because you know what, we all deserve a little sweet treat.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    801
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    1,368
    Bookmarks:
    114
    Hits:
    7,645

    02 Jun 2026

  19. This has been deleted, sorry!

    29 May 2026

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “And why is a Russian prince inviting me to his matchmaking party? Do they need gentry chaperones or something?”

    “No, no, and it’s not a party, it’s a whole series of affairs, it’s…Shane, you’re invited as a candidate. A marriage candidate.”

    Shane pulls the phone away to make sure the line’s still connected and he hasn’t accidentally started watching Downton Abbey or something.

    Prince Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov meets Shane Hollander, Duke of Montreal.

     

    Russian translation available here

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    75,827
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    1,536
    Kudos:
    5,093
    Bookmarks:
    1,643
    Hits:
    91,659

    29 May 2026

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