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Edward, Stede thinks, examining the man laying on the bed. He looks for all the world like a fearsome outlaw, which makes the failed robbery all the more confusing to Stede, but there’s a vulnerability in his sleeping face that tugs on his heartstrings. Stede’s always been a bit of a sucker for a stray. He attributes it to being a bit of a stray himself.
Edward looks tired. Really tired, more than just the wound would justify.
Perhaps he can get some rest here. Perhaps Stede can help with that, at least.
In which notorious outlaw Edward Teach and his band of miscreants are taken in by kindly ranch owner Stede Bonnet and his misfit crew of semi-reformed criminals.
AKA the cowboy au no one asked for but I desperately want. Yeehaw.
[COMPLETE!]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 133,103
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 394
- Kudos:
- 927
- Bookmarks:
- 311
- Hits:
- 20,468
Bookmarked by Talktrash
09 Jul 2022
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“Who the fuck,” Ed says, “Fucked you.”
Or, we discover the consequences of jealousy.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,544
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 320
- Kudos:
- 2,310
- Bookmarks:
- 575
- Hits:
- 27,498
Bookmarked by Talktrash
30 Jun 2022
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Blackbird Singing in the Dead of Night by MsThunderFrost
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
24 Mar 2023
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Summary
“Easy there, captain.” Roach abandons the half-placed bandages in favor of retrieving a cup of water from the bedside table. Sliding a hand behind Stede’s back to prop him up just far enough to prevent choking, he helps him to take a few small sips, “You can have more in a bit. Drink too much at once and you’re liable to upchuck all over your expensive linens.”
“T-Thank you, Roach.” His voice is scarce above a whisper, and even sustaining that seems to be causing him immense pain. “What… What happened to me? I feel like death.” Roach lowers him back down onto the bed to continue fussing with his bandages.
“There was a storm.” He says, matter-of-fact. “You took a nasty blow to the head and fell overboard.” He casts a sidelong glance in Izzy’s direction. Now that Stede is awake, Izzy seems determined to look anywhere and everywhere else—“Izzy saved you.”
Silence. Then, “Iggy saved me.” He repeats, like the idea is so ludicrous he doesn’t even need to make it a question. “You’re joking.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 82,413
- Chapters:
- 17/?
- Comments:
- 339
- Kudos:
- 1,258
- Bookmarks:
- 203
- Hits:
- 30,290
Bookmarked by Talktrash
14 Jun 2022
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Izzy Hands digs graves and dreams of being alone on the ocean. He doesn't know what one has to do with the other, but he does know that talking to Edward Teach and Stede Bonnet from the local saloon fills him with anger. If he's honest with himself, it might actually be something more like fear, or maybe even shame. But for now, anger hurts less.
A Western AU where everybody is reincarnated from their canon-era OFMD selves, but doesn't know it... Yet.
Now with illustrations!
Bookmarked by Talktrash
13 Jun 2022
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After Izzy manages to make himself sick, he's unwillingly subjected to Stede Bonnet's particular brand of posh hospitality. And Stede, for his part, is determined to be liked.
Naturally, Izzy isn't going down without a fight.
Edit: I was going to continue this, but decided I was content with the place I left it. I believe I achieved what I wished to with the narrative. :) I hope you enjoy!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 43,026
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 402
- Kudos:
- 1,418
- Bookmarks:
- 267
- Hits:
- 22,690
Bookmarked by Talktrash
01 Jun 2022
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What We Do in the Shallows by Skaldfifla_Hlutr
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV), What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
23 Nov 2023
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Summary
Now that Stede was a proper pirate and had abandoned his life of riches, it was time he started acting like one, raiding ships to make a name for himself.
They capture their first ship successfully, thanks to Ed’s training, but nothing in the world could prepare Stede for what he found among the loot - a decorated coffin and in it, was Ed.
“That’s not Ed, mate,” Oluwande informed.
Stede looks up through his sobs, “Are you sure?”
Meanwhile, Viago is just trying to discreetly shrink as far into the coffin as he could so the ray of sunshine doesn’t touch him.
Bookmarked by Talktrash
28 May 2022
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Writing Porn (and other ways to seduce your vampire roommates) by UnfortunatelyObsessed for foxymandy3100 (Sukurarose92), nerdykai128
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
27 Mar 2022
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Summary
“There,” he says. “Taken care of. Now back to my problems—“
“NANDOR!” Guillermo is already yelling, snatching the vacuum away and pressing his face to the dusty old bag. “Can you hear me?!” He thinks he hears a defeated, squished help, and he scowls at Laszlo. “How the hell am I meant to get him out of here in one piece?!”
“Not my problem,” Laszlo deadpans. “What is my problem is that I’ve run out of porn to read.”
“Holy fucking—“ Guillermo is off, muttering curses as he unearths Laszlo’s laptop from under a pile of crap. “Use your computer. You know, the one you made me steal from Best Buy?! Just Google it!”
“There’s porn on the internet?”
“THAT IS ALL THAT IS ON THE INTERNET!”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 54,135
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 294
- Kudos:
- 1,185
- Bookmarks:
- 297
- Hits:
- 11,632
Bookmarked by Talktrash
24 May 2022
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Hear, Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One.
Edward has a new obsession, and Izzy isn't too happy about it. Drastic times call for drastic measures.
Bookmarked by Talktrash
13 Apr 2022
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and if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away by Jack_R
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
11 Apr 2022
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Summary
‘Blackbeard said that,’ Izzy says. ‘Fucking Blackbeard told you to tell me to get you fucking pistachios.’
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,358
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 165
- Kudos:
- 2,223
- Bookmarks:
- 389
- Hits:
- 16,660
Bookmarked by Talktrash
12 Apr 2022
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Summary
Steve Rogers is used to seeing spirits, but none have ever reached out to him, until one finally does.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,103
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 4
- Kudos:
- 18
- Bookmarks:
- 5
- Hits:
- 128
Bookmarked by Talktrash
14 Jan 2022
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Summary
Outside the forest's edge, sounds of chaos and unnatural violence erupt. Loud enough to shake the trees from branches to roots, to send all manner of creatures fleeing the noise. The air carries the foul taste and scent of the disturbance in the aftermath. The potency of the after is followed only by more. Staccato sounds vibrate the very air. More rumbles that disturb and singe the greenery of the treeline.
The forest didn't usually involve itself.
But they will be in need of a guide, if they wish to make it to the forest’s end alive. The forest knows its guard can be as wary of many of its creatures but will help. That will be for the best.
The forest does not interfere any further once it is satisfied that destruction is contained. Though it does watch, and it does listen. Men or no, they sought the forest’s depths for protection and that is not a call the forest can ignore.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,387
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 37
- Kudos:
- 96
- Bookmarks:
- 20
- Hits:
- 1,217
Bookmarked by Talktrash
10 Jan 2022
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Summary
Steve’s mind is reeling at the discovery he’s made. A boy he thought long dead is suddenly in his home, and he doesn’t know what to do about it.
With no clear answers in sight, he does the only thing he can think of.
He tries to fix it.
Series
- Part 4 of Miseri Opus - Concerto
Bookmarked by Talktrash
09 Oct 2021
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Summary
When the dust had settled and James was collecting his $10 winnings to the congratulations of the other Bingo patrons, Steve not included, Steve vowed that next week he would not be pulled into the sexy vortex of this Bingo playing bad boy.
If Steve never saw James, darling of the Bingo hall, Russian sex God, and ruthless troll collector again, he would be fine.
Just fine.
...
A.K.A Oblivious Steve is very bad at having an arch-enemy. (Particularly because he confuses 'dating' with 'acts of war.')- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,912
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 841
- Kudos:
- 2,724
- Bookmarks:
- 768
- Hits:
- 30,389
Bookmarked by Talktrash
24 May 2021
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“You’re not my Bucky,” Steve states with a sobering strength in his voice. He lets his folded hands fall between his knees.
Bucky frowns. “No.” He wants to add more to that, but he doesn’t know what.
Steve’s gaze strays from his face, giving him a once-over. Bucky feels weirdly naked. His left arm resets.
“How’d you get here?”
“I - don’t know. A few minutes ago I was fighting with you, against Thanos, and now I’m here.”
Steve’s mouth opens in a silent ah, then he leans his head back and strokes his hair out of his face with both hands.
“You’re from 2018. Buck, this is 2028.”
—
After watching himself disintegrate into dust and cease to exist, against all odds, Bucky wakes up again.
Series
- Part 1 of A Good Future
Bookmarked by Talktrash
24 May 2021
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who the hell is steve? by whatthehalefire
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America - All Media Types, Fantastic Four (Movies 2005-2007), Captain America (Movies), Fantastic Four
30 Dec 2022
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Summary
Bucky felt himself go white, eyes widening by the second and mouth falling agape for a moment before he heard himself speak. “...Steve?”
The man scoffed, chest jumping a bit with the sound. “Who the hell is Steve? My name’s Johnny Storm.”
***
Johnny Storm pops into an alternate reality, where the Fantastic Four don't exist and he just so happens to be the spitting image of Steve Rogers. Bucky finds himself awestruck at looking into the face of his best friend again after believing he'd lost him for good. To Bucky's disappointment, though, Johnny couldn't be anything less like his best friend, but after a while, Bucky begins to think that maybe it isn't all that disappointing.
Bookmarked by Talktrash
19 May 2021
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Summary
The money he'd stolen from Hydra has almost run out when he finds a black piece of card stock with blocky capital letters stapled to a telephone pole:
FUNNEL NO. 9
DO YOU HAVE KNIFE SKILLS?
WE NEED YOU
And then below, there's a phone number.
Knife skills? I have knife skills, he thinks. That part is pretty self-explanatory, though he has no idea what Funnel No. 9 could mean. He doesn't really want to get back into the hitman business, but needs must, and Bucky Barnes is a practical man.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 72,867
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,156
- Kudos:
- 3,947
- Bookmarks:
- 1,408
- Hits:
- 61,299
Bookmarked by Talktrash
13 May 2021
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Under My Wing by Cymry
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
13 Dec 2021
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Summary
The man who’s just given you this letter is called James. I’ve helped him escape a very bad situation and whatever you’re thinking, believe me when I say it’s worse.
Sam was looking forward to relaxing with a cold beer and a boxset after work. Aliens falling from the sky affects more than New York and it's been a long day. But when he gets home there's a mysterious man in his apartment whose only mission is to protect Sam Wilson. Who is "James"? And who are the people looking for him?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 109,868
- Chapters:
- 27/?
- Comments:
- 620
- Kudos:
- 720
- Bookmarks:
- 180
- Hits:
- 19,868
Bookmarked by Talktrash
29 Apr 2021
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Bookmarked by Talktrash
28 Apr 2021
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Summary
Do you want to meet your match? YES or NO
Calum took a deep breath and reached up, his fingers expecting to hit the yes, but only running through the air. The air twisted around to form a name, and Calum recognized it.
“Ashton!”
Aka the one where Calum knows his match, or does he?
Bookmarked by Talktrash
13 Nov 2018
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Summary
“What do you mean you’re getting married?!” Comes Luke’s tinny voice, squeaking through the speakers of Ashton’s phone.
"It just makes sense, Lu.” Ashton sighs. “I don’t have the money to go back to paying full rent for the flat and he doesn’t wanna get sent back to France. It just works, logistically.”
Or: the Brexit fake dating AU that no-one asked for
Bookmarked by Talktrash
07 Nov 2018