1 - 20 of 38 Works by jammedWriter
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Dave isn't watching porn in the living room with a plan to ask his brother for sex lessons, exactly. He just wants to learn how to kiss, so once he finally works up the courage to confess his feelings to his older brother, he'll be good at everything. With Bro working in the industry, Dave knows the bar is high, so he'll need experience if he wants to entice Bro into a relationship with him. When the opportunity to get that experience with Bro presents itself, though, Dave would be an idiot to turn it down.
Before Dave can overthink it, Bro sits on the end of the futon, tugging Dave into his lap to mimic a fully clothed version of the pose that the couple on the TV were demonstrating when he walked in the door. “Prepare to get schooled, little brother. Sex Ed lesson one: know when to shut your yap before someone takes you up on what you’re offering.”
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The Well Dressed Gentleman. by jammedWriter, Trashdog13
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
02 Mar 2026
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DressLikeAGentleman is a faceless ASMR TikTok account focusing on the quality of clothes and the care of dressing well.
It is also some of the most blatant, though unadvertised, fetish content that Izzy has ever seen. The editing alone is enough to cue anyone in to whats happening, the constant close up on the narrators hands, the way he handles every tie or scrap of fabric, his voice.
Izzy watches it every morning. It’s inspired him to branch out his style, to work up the courage to explore outside of his usual black outfits.
He never expected to hear The Gentleman's voice in real life, placing an order at his local coffee shop.
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Birthday Expectations and How to Break Them by jammedWriter for Nettaiya
Fandoms: Homestuck
06 Feb 2026
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Dave didn't like his birthday. For as long as he could remember, it had been a source of anxiety, something hanging over his head and reminding him that his Bro would want him gone eventually.
Fortunately, for Dave's 20th birthday, he gave himself the gift of unintentionally confessing his feelings to his Bro, leading to a conversation that proved that Bro didn't want Dave gone any more than Dave wanted to leave.
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Though he is attending Izzy Hands’ retirement party from sugaring, Stede knows that he needs to make Izzy his after seeing him. Luckily, he has Lucius’s assistance as a wingman, and between Lucius’s advice and Stede’s attempts at charm, they have a perfect recipe to convince Izzy to be Stede’s sugar baby.
“Which would be where you, darling Israel, come in. I wouldn't want much from you, admittedly. Talking to me every couple of days for a few minutes. Perhaps seeing me once a week. I'm much busier than I'd like, and I wouldn't want to take up too much of your time, either.”
Stede’s words seem especially hilarious at a retirement party. However, before he can point it out, the buzzing from before clicks into place. Bonnet Enterprises is the return address on about half of his prosthetic clinic flyers and an entire stack of his bills.
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Exquisite Corpse Chain 1 by AbbyRosebud, HiddenLacuna, jammedWriter, lustig, redshift, unopposablethumbs
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
09 Jun 2024
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A chaotic writing game starting with the Revenge being caught in a storm.
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Misunderstandings of Fanciful Love by jammedWriter, Sweven
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
11 May 2024
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The transformation of the relationship of Stede Bonnet and Israel Hands, including all of the ups and downs along the way as they do their best to navigate making one another happy.
"Why do you want this to be a date?" Izzy asks finally, when the silence grows too heavy. The words are dragged out, and he's not sure it's the right question, but he needs to know, suddenly.
"Izzy, surely you must realize..." Stede looks as if he's steeling himself for something, like he thinks that Izzy is about to destroy the very fabric of his being. "I want you.” -
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Though Stede Bonnet is nervous at the prospect of marriage, he decides to attempt to write to his future bride.
He is pleased to discover that "Lady Hands" is actually Israel Hands, a man he enjoyes talking to immensely. They exchange letters over the course of their engagement, reluctant to fall in love but eager to know the character of their future husbands.
16 April, 1679
Lady Hands,
I apologize for the brevity of this missive, but I find that I do not know how best to speak with you. I have been informed by my father on this eve that we are to be wed in less than a year's time. Though the date of our nuptials is distant, I still find myself caught off guard by the suddenness of our engagement, as I had previously been informed by my father that he had been blessed with little luck in his hunt for a new Bonnet bride.
Though I know it is not conventional, I was hoping you might permit me the opportunity to know you better prior to our first meeting. Please, if you would, tell me about yourself.
Best wishes,
Lord Stede Bonnet
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Misunderstandings shouldn't be so easy in a relationship, but Izzy and Stede have never been the best at communicating their wants. Finding an engagement ring while doing his regularly scheduled cleaning of their home is enough to make Izzy panic. Luckily, he has friends to calm him down and make sure that Stede knows he needs to fix the situation.
He opens it, letting out a curious hum...and his heart sinks.
Inside is an engagement ring. Exactly the kind of thing Izzy would want, deep black with a sort of green inlay. He assumes the metal is something ridiculously expensive, but he doesn't want to know.
He also doesn't want to know who the ring is for, since it certainly isn't for him.
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Vignettes in the development of Stede and Izzy’s relationship. Told through the narrative of the little details that aren’t given to Ed when he comes back to retrieve Izzy after a year of absence.
"Edward, you're too late. If the stuff about the ship and the crew wasn't enough, surely you have to see that I'm not going to leave my fucking fiance to come with you just because you got bored with your new toys. I have a life here, and I'm not willing to give it up." Izzy leans forward, staring Ed dead in the face, but Ed still doesn't understand. He feels lost.
"Would hearing about how this happened make you feel better, perhaps?" Stede asks. "Some context to explain why Izzy doesn't want to leave?"
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Izzy Hands doesn’t want to be Stede Bonnet’s soulmate. You can’t change fate, however. When Stede learns that Izzy is his soulmate, he is determined to do what he can to prove that he is worthy of their connection. Even if Izzy has a hard time believing him, and even if the mark on Stede’s body is the name of a version of Izzy that is long since dead.
He reaches for the blankets to pull them up, a belated attempt to preserve what modesty he has left, and freezes. The glove that usually covers his hand is missing, baring the name of his soulmate for the world - and even worse, Ed and Stede - to see. His blood runs cold. No wonder Stede thinks he has the right to be presumptuous. Stede knows he's Izzy's soulmate.
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Stumbling into a Faery Realm isn't how Izzy plans to spend his first vacation in decades, but it’s just his luck that he would do so. Luckily, he is discovered by Stede Bonnet rather than one of the more threatening members of the fae, but he still has to decide how he feels about living with a man who treats him like an equal but calls him a pet.
There is a brief moment where Izzy thinks he might have a panic attack before calm acceptance washes over him. He hasn't had a vacation in over twenty years. He hates his job, doesn't particularly like his life... Dying here would be no different than dying out there. Being a pet can't be a job worse than running the bar. At least he only has to deal with Stede's commands rather than the demands of hundreds of customers every night.
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Teach an Old Dog New Tricks by jammedWriter, Trashdog13
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
07 Apr 2024
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In a world where anthropomorphic individuals, with their animal ears and tails, are treated as less than, kept in kennels until they can pass exams to be released into society, Stede Bonnet has only just been freed. He has left the kennels late in life and doesn't enjoy living on his own, so he decides to take another anthro into his custody to help them pass their freedom exams.
What he doesn't expect when selecting Israel Hands is that the two of them will form a relationship more significant than any he has ever had.
The anthro is pressed into the corner, covering himself with a tattered baby blanket. His ears are pinned back and he's baring his teeth, but he freezes as he sees Stede…as if he had been expecting a human.
"Hello" Stede says slowly, trying to stop his tail from wagging.
"What the fuck," is all he gets in response from the other canine.
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Longing for Home (It's You) by ewelinakl, jammedWriter
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
06 Apr 2024
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Though Stede could dress up in disguise and go to Mary and Doug’s wedding on his own, considering the fact that only his ex-wife, her new husband, and their children will be able to recognize him, he can’t bear the thought of going alone. Taking Izzy as his date is the obvious solution, regardless of the fact that they aren’t together.
He felt like he owed Stede, so when the stupid oaf asked him to be his plus one at his ex-wife’s wedding, Israel said yes. It felt like a small price to pay in exchange for Stede saving both him and the crew from starving to death and acting as a buffer between them and Blackbeard once he woke up.
The dress was not a part of the initial agreement. Or, it was, but not like this.
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Though Izzy truly intends to give Stede a lesson on how to handle hostages, things go awry when Izzy has too much fun enacting how Stede is meant to treat his captives. It is lucky for Izzy that his captain also likes having him under his control, and he is happy to make sure that Izzy has a good time. Their lesson can always be resumed at a later time.
Izzy can see the preemptive guilt shining in Stede's eyes, and though he knows it's baseless, he appreciates the concern. "I'll just say stop. I'm not afraid to tell you 'no,' captain. You know that.”
Stede shifts on his feet, considering. Izzy gives him a reassuring smile, one he's only gotten to know recently and treasures dearly. Stede nods and clenches his jaw to steady himself, walking forward and gently pulling Izzy's hands together in front of him.
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Retirement isn’t meant to be how piracy ends, but sometimes, rules are made to be broken. Stede and Izzy have to adapt when they are forced to retire, but they won’t let the lack of adventure in their lives prevent them from enjoying every moment they get to spend with one another. Despite being unaccustomed to domesticity, they will make new routines and a new home.
It's bittersweet, setting up the house with all of Stede's knick knacks and Izzy's weapons. The crew is glad that their captain and first mate will be safe, considering how risky things have felt since Stede's shoulder injury, but they'll miss them. The Revenge won't be the same without the man who built it and the unicorn who gave it new life.
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When a curse strikes Izzy while he rests, shrinking him down to a fraction of his usual size, he is immediately concerned what it will imply for the future of his time on the Revenge. While he expects to be ostracized or abandoned, Stede and the crew prove him wrong, demonstrating that they still care about him, regardless of his size.
It was terrifying, being held by something that was almost his size, knowing that Stede could squeeze and crush him at any moment. Stede seemed to think it was all fun and games, however, cooing over Izzy before placing him in his jacket pocket. "You'll be safer there, and no one will see you this way!”
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Nightmares and how two men in love handle them. Their coping mechanisms are not necessarily healthy, but that doesn't mean that they can't get there with one another’s help.
He expects the night to go the exact same way as always, no reason for Izzy to wake and disrupt their routine, but when he hears grunts from below, Stede looks down, startled to see his partner on the ropes. He feels like he should call out, but the words stick in his throat. Pretending he's okay when he isn't has always been a struggle for Stede, but it's a necessary evil, and he knows that he needs to master his poker face before Izzy reaches him.
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The Burning Sensation of Love by jammedWriter, thatonewriterdude
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
01 Apr 2024
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When Izzy asks for a chance to drop into subspace for a while, Stede decides to try something new. Using tools he obtained during their last stop on land, he gives Izzy exactly what he needs.
Stede just touches him for a few minutes, hands roaming down his back, around his middle, and lower, tracing where his cunt is stretched around the fake cock lodged inside him. Izzy suspects Stede needs a moment to orient himself, but Izzy appreciates it, too. Already, he feels himself sinking into submission, the hands on his body grounding him. Then the hands are gone, and Izzy's breath catches in his throat. Finally, it's time to begin.
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Where does snow come from?
Well, it all started with a man named Israel with scissors for hands... He was adopted by the townsfolk of Revenge and found romance with a man named Stede Bonnet. After years of isolation, he was given a home and a family to love.
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eyes glittering in the darkness by jammedWriter, Sweveris
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
15 Feb 2024
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Nighttime rituals are not to be spoken of during the day, yet when Stede and Izzy develop a pattern of mutual masturbation in the bed they share with Ed every night, Stede wants nothing more than to talk things through. Izzy is much more reluctant to have a discussion, but the two can only exist in their limbo of desire for so long.
It’s as easy as breathing, getting off when Ed’s hand is working his cock. Stede feels the orgasm cresting quickly, the sensation of skin against skin in the darkness, the forbidden part of it sending him over the edge, and in the moment before he comes, he looks to the side.
There in the dark is Izzy’s face, half-hidden by the blanket and cast in shadow, but with his eyes wide open. They glitter with what little light is in the cabin, and Stede can’t look away, his mouth falling open in a much too loud moan.