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Though he is attending Izzy Hands’ retirement party from sugaring, Stede knows that he needs to make Izzy his after seeing him. Luckily, he has Lucius’s assistance as a wingman, and between Lucius’s advice and Stede’s attempts at charm, they have a perfect recipe to convince Izzy to be Stede’s sugar baby.
“Which would be where you, darling Israel, come in. I wouldn't want much from you, admittedly. Talking to me every couple of days for a few minutes. Perhaps seeing me once a week. I'm much busier than I'd like, and I wouldn't want to take up too much of your time, either.”
Stede’s words seem especially hilarious at a retirement party. However, before he can point it out, the buzzing from before clicks into place. Bonnet Enterprises is the return address on about half of his prosthetic clinic flyers and an entire stack of his bills.
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Exquisite Corpse Chain 1 by AbbyRosebud, HiddenLacuna, jammedWriter, lustig, redshift, unopposablethumbs
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
09 Jun 2024
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A chaotic writing game starting with the Revenge being caught in a storm.
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Misunderstandings of Fanciful Love by jammedWriter, Sweven
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
11 May 2024
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The transformation of the relationship of Stede Bonnet and Israel Hands, including all of the ups and downs along the way as they do their best to navigate making one another happy.
"Why do you want this to be a date?" Izzy asks finally, when the silence grows too heavy. The words are dragged out, and he's not sure it's the right question, but he needs to know, suddenly.
"Izzy, surely you must realize..." Stede looks as if he's steeling himself for something, like he thinks that Izzy is about to destroy the very fabric of his being. "I want you.” -
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Misunderstandings shouldn't be so easy in a relationship, but Izzy and Stede have never been the best at communicating their wants. Finding an engagement ring while doing his regularly scheduled cleaning of their home is enough to make Izzy panic. Luckily, he has friends to calm him down and make sure that Stede knows he needs to fix the situation.
He opens it, letting out a curious hum...and his heart sinks.
Inside is an engagement ring. Exactly the kind of thing Izzy would want, deep black with a sort of green inlay. He assumes the metal is something ridiculously expensive, but he doesn't want to know.
He also doesn't want to know who the ring is for, since it certainly isn't for him.
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Vignettes in the development of Stede and Izzy’s relationship. Told through the narrative of the little details that aren’t given to Ed when he comes back to retrieve Izzy after a year of absence.
"Edward, you're too late. If the stuff about the ship and the crew wasn't enough, surely you have to see that I'm not going to leave my fucking fiance to come with you just because you got bored with your new toys. I have a life here, and I'm not willing to give it up." Izzy leans forward, staring Ed dead in the face, but Ed still doesn't understand. He feels lost.
"Would hearing about how this happened make you feel better, perhaps?" Stede asks. "Some context to explain why Izzy doesn't want to leave?"
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Izzy Hands doesn’t want to be Stede Bonnet’s soulmate. You can’t change fate, however. When Stede learns that Izzy is his soulmate, he is determined to do what he can to prove that he is worthy of their connection. Even if Izzy has a hard time believing him, and even if the mark on Stede’s body is the name of a version of Izzy that is long since dead.
He reaches for the blankets to pull them up, a belated attempt to preserve what modesty he has left, and freezes. The glove that usually covers his hand is missing, baring the name of his soulmate for the world - and even worse, Ed and Stede - to see. His blood runs cold. No wonder Stede thinks he has the right to be presumptuous. Stede knows he's Izzy's soulmate.
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Stumbling into a Faery Realm isn't how Izzy plans to spend his first vacation in decades, but it’s just his luck that he would do so. Luckily, he is discovered by Stede Bonnet rather than one of the more threatening members of the fae, but he still has to decide how he feels about living with a man who treats him like an equal but calls him a pet.
There is a brief moment where Izzy thinks he might have a panic attack before calm acceptance washes over him. He hasn't had a vacation in over twenty years. He hates his job, doesn't particularly like his life... Dying here would be no different than dying out there. Being a pet can't be a job worse than running the bar. At least he only has to deal with Stede's commands rather than the demands of hundreds of customers every night.
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Teach an Old Dog New Tricks by jammedWriter, Trashdog13
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
07 Apr 2024
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In a world where anthropomorphic individuals, with their animal ears and tails, are treated as less than, kept in kennels until they can pass exams to be released into society, Stede Bonnet has only just been freed. He has left the kennels late in life and doesn't enjoy living on his own, so he decides to take another anthro into his custody to help them pass their freedom exams.
What he doesn't expect when selecting Israel Hands is that the two of them will form a relationship more significant than any he has ever had.
The anthro is pressed into the corner, covering himself with a tattered baby blanket. His ears are pinned back and he's baring his teeth, but he freezes as he sees Stede…as if he had been expecting a human.
"Hello" Stede says slowly, trying to stop his tail from wagging.
"What the fuck," is all he gets in response from the other canine.
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Longing for Home (It's You) by ewelinakl, jammedWriter
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
06 Apr 2024
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Though Stede could dress up in disguise and go to Mary and Doug’s wedding on his own, considering the fact that only his ex-wife, her new husband, and their children will be able to recognize him, he can’t bear the thought of going alone. Taking Izzy as his date is the obvious solution, regardless of the fact that they aren’t together.
He felt like he owed Stede, so when the stupid oaf asked him to be his plus one at his ex-wife’s wedding, Israel said yes. It felt like a small price to pay in exchange for Stede saving both him and the crew from starving to death and acting as a buffer between them and Blackbeard once he woke up.
The dress was not a part of the initial agreement. Or, it was, but not like this.
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Though Izzy truly intends to give Stede a lesson on how to handle hostages, things go awry when Izzy has too much fun enacting how Stede is meant to treat his captives. It is lucky for Izzy that his captain also likes having him under his control, and he is happy to make sure that Izzy has a good time. Their lesson can always be resumed at a later time.
Izzy can see the preemptive guilt shining in Stede's eyes, and though he knows it's baseless, he appreciates the concern. "I'll just say stop. I'm not afraid to tell you 'no,' captain. You know that.”
Stede shifts on his feet, considering. Izzy gives him a reassuring smile, one he's only gotten to know recently and treasures dearly. Stede nods and clenches his jaw to steady himself, walking forward and gently pulling Izzy's hands together in front of him.
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Retirement isn’t meant to be how piracy ends, but sometimes, rules are made to be broken. Stede and Izzy have to adapt when they are forced to retire, but they won’t let the lack of adventure in their lives prevent them from enjoying every moment they get to spend with one another. Despite being unaccustomed to domesticity, they will make new routines and a new home.
It's bittersweet, setting up the house with all of Stede's knick knacks and Izzy's weapons. The crew is glad that their captain and first mate will be safe, considering how risky things have felt since Stede's shoulder injury, but they'll miss them. The Revenge won't be the same without the man who built it and the unicorn who gave it new life.
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When a curse strikes Izzy while he rests, shrinking him down to a fraction of his usual size, he is immediately concerned what it will imply for the future of his time on the Revenge. While he expects to be ostracized or abandoned, Stede and the crew prove him wrong, demonstrating that they still care about him, regardless of his size.
It was terrifying, being held by something that was almost his size, knowing that Stede could squeeze and crush him at any moment. Stede seemed to think it was all fun and games, however, cooing over Izzy before placing him in his jacket pocket. "You'll be safer there, and no one will see you this way!”
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Nightmares and how two men in love handle them. Their coping mechanisms are not necessarily healthy, but that doesn't mean that they can't get there with one another’s help.
He expects the night to go the exact same way as always, no reason for Izzy to wake and disrupt their routine, but when he hears grunts from below, Stede looks down, startled to see his partner on the ropes. He feels like he should call out, but the words stick in his throat. Pretending he's okay when he isn't has always been a struggle for Stede, but it's a necessary evil, and he knows that he needs to master his poker face before Izzy reaches him.
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The Burning Sensation of Love by jammedWriter, thatonewriterdude
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
01 Apr 2024
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When Izzy asks for a chance to drop into subspace for a while, Stede decides to try something new. Using tools he obtained during their last stop on land, he gives Izzy exactly what he needs.
Stede just touches him for a few minutes, hands roaming down his back, around his middle, and lower, tracing where his cunt is stretched around the fake cock lodged inside him. Izzy suspects Stede needs a moment to orient himself, but Izzy appreciates it, too. Already, he feels himself sinking into submission, the hands on his body grounding him. Then the hands are gone, and Izzy's breath catches in his throat. Finally, it's time to begin.
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eyes glittering in the darkness by jammedWriter, Sweveris
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
15 Feb 2024
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Nighttime rituals are not to be spoken of during the day, yet when Stede and Izzy develop a pattern of mutual masturbation in the bed they share with Ed every night, Stede wants nothing more than to talk things through. Izzy is much more reluctant to have a discussion, but the two can only exist in their limbo of desire for so long.
It’s as easy as breathing, getting off when Ed’s hand is working his cock. Stede feels the orgasm cresting quickly, the sensation of skin against skin in the darkness, the forbidden part of it sending him over the edge, and in the moment before he comes, he looks to the side.
There in the dark is Izzy’s face, half-hidden by the blanket and cast in shadow, but with his eyes wide open. They glitter with what little light is in the cabin, and Stede can’t look away, his mouth falling open in a much too loud moan. -
Thick Blows My Frosty Breath Abroad by jammedWriter for basuraface
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
30 Dec 2023
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On their way to Sweden after leaving the destroyed Republic of Pirates, the crew of the Revenge hadn't considered what sorts of weather they might encounter along their journey. While wandering a port-side market with Izzy on one of their stops, Stede is surprised to discover that the colder weather has been enough to generate a layer of snow on the ground.
Determined to give his boyfriend a good time, Stede convinces Izzy to build a snowman while they ruminate on the nature of the cold. Once they've frozen themselves practically to the bone, they return to the shop so that Stede and Ed can work together to warm Izzy up properly.
“Oh, that’s not a problem.” Within a few minutes, Stede had whipped up a second, miniature snowman all by himself, making a cross on its cheek with sticks and using a scrap of black fabric from his pocket as a cravat. “See? It’s life-sized!”
Izzy tackled Stede to the snow before Stede realized what was happening, stuffing snow down the front of his shirt. “I’ll show you life-sized!”
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Rather than allowing himself to remain trapped under his father's thumb for years, Stede begins his plans to become a pirate as soon as he turns eighteen. It takes some time for him to gather a crew, a ship, and enough sailing knowledge to embark on his voyage towards piracy, but once a couple of years have passed, he sets off.
Being the youngest person on his own ship means that Stede's inexperience is to be expected, but his crew generally supports him despite his foibles. The fact that Stede rather quickly attracts the attention of Blackbeard can only help him be a better captain, though his budding attraction to both the legendary pirate and his first mate serves as a rather significant distraction.
Despite the difference in age and experience between them, Stede is determined to win over Ed and Izzy both, though the pair certainly have hang-ups about the possibility of a relationship. Stede will have to prove himself as both a captain and a lover to win their hearts.
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In Plain Sight by error_in_progress, jammedWriter, Sir_Bear, sunspeckfreckle (childrenofthesun)
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
20 Mar 2023
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3 writers each taking on a different steddyhands pov in their chapter, with accompanying art by sunspeckfreckle.
Izzy is injured after a raid and doesn't want to worry his Captains. When his injury takes a turn for the worse, however, he's forced to seek out help from a trusted friend. Unfortunately, communication was never Izzy's strong point.
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On Wednesdays, We Date by jammedWriter for Razzledazza
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
30 Dec 2022
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"Someone will be on deck. That's why we're doing the date nights in pairs, mostly. Gives us all time to spend together, but it makes sure someone is always available if the crew needs us. 'sides, that's why I figured we'd start with me and Stede and you and Stede doing date nights. That way, while we're testing it out, either you or me is always available. Once we're sure that Stede can watch the crew on his own, you and I can have nights together. And then we can see about nights with all three of us, assuming we can trust Olu to keep an eye out." Izzy opened his mouth to argue almost immediately, but Ed's argument seemed to be doing the trick. Stede could see the wheels turning behind Izzy's eyes.
(Or: Though Izzy, Stede, and Ed had been together for nearly a year, they didn't have any sort of established routines. It was difficult to make sure they all spent enough time together, both individually and alone, and fear of leaving the crew alone for any period of time only further complicated the matter. Ed suggested that they have regularly scheduled date nights, and Stede jumped on the idea, much to Izzy's chagrin. Fortunately for Stede, Izzy didn't hate their date as much as he claimed.)
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Multiple Encounters of a Baser Kind by jammedWriter for Sweveris
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
30 Dec 2022
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Stede was tempted to lean down to kiss him, just to see what would happen. He might have even moved forward just a smidge, but before he could make contact, Izzy dropped to his knees, making quick work of Stede's breeches and pulling them down, revealing his cock to the open air. Considering the state of his shirt, Stede was practically naked.
"What are you doing?!" Stede's voice came out an embarrassing squawk, but he didn't know how else to react, covering himself with his hands.
Izzy quickly shoved his hands to the side, rolling his eyes. "You didn't kill us. I don't want to owe you anything."
(Or: Stede Bonnet might have fucked Izzy Hands before meeting Blackbeard, but that didn't mean he really knew him. It didn't even mean Izzy liked him. As the two continue to fuck, Stede wonders what it would take to become the kind of person Izzy would respect. Stede's never filled any role well, son, father, gentleman, or pirate, but he'd like to fill the role of lover. His confusing feelings towards Ed don't help things, and it only gets more complicated when Ed realizes that Stede and Izzy have had sex.)