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Halsin looked at him. “This could be…incredibly painful.” He reached out and took Astarion’s hands in his own. “Are you sure you wish to do this?”
Astarion nodded. “Yes. I’m very sure.”
or: after enduring two hundred years of torture at cazador's hands, astarion finds a life renewed alongside halsin in reithwin. but he is still infinitely curious, and when he discovers the fate of his parents, he can't help but pull that thread. to them, he is dead and buried - but maybe some good can come from it after all.
Bookmarked by rewrites
14 Jan 2026
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“How long?”
The plug sat exactly where he had set it. The carved obsidian base caught the light when he shifted, just visible between his cheeks, the rest buried deep and holding him open.
“Since...” Astarion swallowed, his throat clicking.
“You flee across three districts. You change venues nightly. You make me hunt you through this hole's frozen bowels.”
“All while wearing me inside.”
“Since the second night.” His voice dropped. “When you did not come.”
Raphael stilled. “Since the second night,” he repeated, slow and exact, his thumb tracing Astarion's lower lip and catching on the split he had bitten earlier.
“I wore it so you could find me. So I would know...” His voice caught. “So I would remember who I belonged to. Even if you never came.”The cost of coming for him grows heavier each time.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,329
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 7
- Kudos:
- 55
- Bookmarks:
- 11
- Hits:
- 571
Bookmarked by rewrites
06 Jan 2026
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As the final whistle blows, motivation turns to possession. Sports stars Wyll and Karlach team up to give cheer captain Astarion a victory celebration of his own.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,769
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 3
- Kudos:
- 18
- Bookmarks:
- 4
- Hits:
- 266
Bookmarked by rewrites
14 Dec 2025
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17 Things That Made This Kobold's Day PERFECT (Number 12 Will Make You Cry) by dramatic_chipmunk for darkheartedrose
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
04 Dec 2025
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KOBOLD DAILY EXCLUSIVE
Look, we've all had good days. But has your day ever been THIS good?
Popper—Purveyor of Treats and Trinkets, licensed Entrepreneur, and Senior Shiny Correspondent—had the BEST day in the history of days. We're talking: premium grave loot, successful mystery box sales, head scritches from the Big Horned Lady, only stepping in ONE of his own traps, and the sale of a definitely-not-haunted glass eye named Gregory.For business inquiries, please leave a shiny object under the third rock from the left near Dribbles' tent.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,613
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 46
- Kudos:
- 82
- Bookmarks:
- 17
- Hits:
- 564
Bookmarked by rewrites
05 Dec 2025
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Astarion's just a vampire (phlebometist) trying to make ends meet after his shitty ex-husband (Cazador) took everything in the divorce, including his self-worth. His boss (Araj Oblodra) is a bitch who doesn't want to take no for an answer. When he looks in the mirror, all he sees is a washed-up husk of a man who used to have everything.
His work bestie (Karlach) is trying her best, along with her girlfriend (Shadowheart), but he seems determined to circle the drain. Until their regular donor (Wyll) shows up. Together, with a little help from their friends, they find a happily ever after. Or at least, for now.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,813
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 51
- Kudos:
- 45
- Bookmarks:
- 8
- Hits:
- 400
Bookmarked by rewrites
14 Nov 2025
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the kindest of kisses (break the hardest of hearts) by jellyfishline
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
10 Feb 2024
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Astarion has kissed people before, of course. He’s kissed quite a lot of people, thank you very much. Some of them even survived the process.
Some of them he even enjoyed. Not that that’s here nor there.
Astarion successfully seduces Wyll, but Wyll is less interested in taking Astarion to bed a second time than he is in kissing him senseless. Astarion has no idea what to do with that.
Bookmarked by rewrites
24 Sep 2025
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The story of Dracula if instead it is Count Szarr who is visited by the solicitor Wyll Ravengard. Unlike Dracula, Szarr will not be making it to London.
A fusion fic where Dracula’s original main cast is replaced with the charismatic monster hunter, lovable rogue, and the eminently hatable vampire lord of Baldur’s Gate. The style of this fic imitates and expands upon the original epistolary style of Bram Stoker’s original Dracula.
[No prior knowledge of the original novel required.]
Where English gentleman Wyll Ravengard, a hero at heart, cannot resist the call to action once he discovers monsters are real.
Bookmarked by rewrites
07 Sep 2025
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I Slit the Throat of Your Confidence by kittenintheden
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
03 Aug 2024
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So like. What DOES happen after that tiefling party if Astarion and Lae'zel hook up, eh?
(this is an Astari'zel pseudo-hatefuck fic)
(like it reads like a hatefuck but it's kind of more of a respectfuck? they're matching energy is what I'm saying.)***
She surges forward, moving like liquid mercury, and fakes him out with a right hook to block while she brings her left hand up to cuff him squarely under the chin.
“Bleeding hells,” he swears as he stumbles back, fingers going to his jaw. There’s a flash of fury on his face, of spite and vengeance. Then it’s gone, replaced by a calculating look. His lip curls back, showing teeth, and his pupils dilate. He moves to circle her and she responds by moving in the opposite direction, keeping their same distance. Astarion’s fingers clench and flex, clench and flex.
“Gloves off, then,” he says, voice low and breathy.
She raises her hands in a ready stance, welcoming an attack. “I never said they were on.”
Bookmarked by rewrites
06 Sep 2025
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For as long as Cazador can remember, every trance has brought the same memory to the forefront of his mind.
There is a white-haired elf, slender and fine-boned. Cazador cannot see his face, but he knows it is beautiful. Sometimes, the elf is dressed in fine things, lace and sable, a cloak of raven feathers, a necklace of dragon scales. Sometimes, he is naked.
Sometimes, he kneels at Cazador’s feet. Sometimes, he is in the arms of a stranger. Sometimes, he is in the middle of a grand ball, a shining star in the crush of nameless, faceless people. Sometimes, he is alone, in a dank, dark cell, white hair streaked with grime.
Always, these memories end with blood spilled: either the white-haired elf’s, or Cazador’s.
Cazador prefers when it is his own.
Bookmarked by rewrites
19 Aug 2025
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You are ULDER RAVENGARD.
Your son is completely besotted with his fiancé, but you can’t figure out the appeal. He’s spoiled, and petty, and seems chiefly concerned with draining the Ravengard coffers. You are, frankly, at your wits’ fucking end.
Surely the only solution is to declare an INSANE SECRET WAR on him before he can ruin the MIDWINTER'S EVE BALL. This cannot possibly backfire.
[A choose-your-own-adventure Astarion son-in-law simulator. Happy Holidays! Or possibly the opposite of that.]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 25,638
- Chapters:
- 42/42
- Comments:
- 502
- Kudos:
- 896
- Bookmarks:
- 375
- Hits:
- 12,319
Bookmarked by rewrites
30 Jul 2025
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Cazador Szarr is dead.
So...why doesn't he feel better?
When Astarion escapes to the roof of the Elfsong Tavern the night after killing his Master, he doesn't expect to find Jaheira sitting on the swing, also unable to sleep. And he absolutely doesn't expect her to be someone he confides in.
A story of friendship, understanding, comfort, and a rickety wooden table.
Bookmarked by rewrites
27 Jul 2025
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Summary
Astarion: HAHA! I manipulated and tricked you all into liking me and never abandoning me!
The Party: By making well-balanced decisions that met the needs of the group while helping us accomplish our short-term goals and listening to us talk when we were upset and stuff? Despite the fact you didn't always want to do that?
Astarion: Wait....
The Party: That's just friendship, stupid.
AKA: A collection of things that ostensibly happen in the same little mental universe. Loosely based on the events of an Origin Astarion run and the various questions it inspired. Not published in sequential order, but ordered somewhat by the narrative timeline.
- Words:
- 93,938
- Works:
- 9
- Bookmarks:
- 462
Bookmarked by rewrites
24 Jul 2025
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- Words:
- 540,590
- Works:
- 12
- Bookmarks:
- 210
Bookmarked by rewrites
21 Jun 2025
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"The way the body reacts after birth is unavoidable. All his siblings experienced it: searching for a baby that was no longer there, raging and screaming at everyone and everything in the vicinity as if the child was hidden like a sick parlour game. They all knew what would happen after the first time, but every subsequent time might as well have been the first.
What would’ve happened if one of those children had survived?"
Or: what if the spawn having spawn was a requirement for the Black Mass? What if the mindflayers captured Astarion with one of those children in tow?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 242,717
- Chapters:
- 39/39
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 1,362
- Kudos:
- 1,593
- Bookmarks:
- 332
- Hits:
- 70,649
Bookmarked by rewrites
21 Jun 2025
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It hits you right as he says, “No need to bleed by yourself, my love.”
Your jaw drops. You stare at him, in his words, all agog. “You… are you saying…?”
“Offering my companionship during your trying times? Yes, I believe I am. You smell delicious, Eleanor. I’ve been thinking about devouring you all day.”
No mistake as his gaze slides down to the extra padding beneath your trousers. Or the way his pupils eclipse the red irises.
Or: Aunt Flo comes to visit. Astarion is delighted to make her acquaintance.
Series
- Part 8 of these two shitheads
Bookmarked by rewrites
21 Jun 2025
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The hand removed itself from his forehead. “Temperature is normal,” Gale announced, before using its fingers to gather some stray drool that had trailed down Astarion’s jaw. Before Astarion could register the pitiful jolt of arousal at the sudden skin contact or the sheer absurdity of what Gale was doing, Gale had stuck its fingers in its mouth.
“What the —”
“No new bacteria detected,” Gale went on, “Ruling out food poisoning.”
“Oh, Gods,” Astarion groaned. “And to think that these things are what’s sending our workforce into a tizzy. What next, 'droid? Are you about to give me a rectal examination too?”
“There is no need for one at the moment,” Gale said, confused. “Unless you are seeking prostate stimulation—”
“No!”
Amidst the softly thrumming melancholy of a dystopian, cyber-punk city, former corporate-rat Astarion Ancunín, who has long since lost the will to live, finds himself in possession of a G-413 or "Gale" - an amnesiac android who, strangely enough, enjoys living.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 487,625
- Chapters:
- 57/57
- Comments:
- 4,599
- Kudos:
- 2,283
- Bookmarks:
- 487
- Hits:
- 88,246
Bookmarked by rewrites
21 Jun 2025
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"I can smell your arousal. Had you been part of our Grove we would have taken delight in your body long ago. But sometimes the Oak Father's will is not for us to understand.”
Astarion is only 39 when he’s assigned to welcome a druid party into Baldur’s Gate. Halsin has a reputation in the city and is all too willing to show the young elf what the touch of another man can do.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,541
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 436
- Kudos:
- 3,256
- Bookmarks:
- 678
- Hits:
- 50,700
Bookmarked by rewrites
21 Jun 2025
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Cunk on Fangs by beemovieerotica
Fandoms: Cunk on Earth (TV), Interview with the Vampire (TV 2022)
17 Mar 2025
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Philomena Cunk interviews the vampire.
Bookmarked by rewrites
20 Jun 2025
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- Words:
- 208,746
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 16
Bookmarked by rewrites
27 May 2025
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“Then, what is it you offer?”
The barkeep slid the requested wine up beside Astarion, and the pale stranger’s knowing smile returned. He leaned forward, closer now. When he reached past Astarion to fetch the glass, Astarion caught the otherworldly scent of his skin: earthy and herbal, but blue and scorched like the astral zephyr, as though what he had said about the planes was true. As the elf straightened, he paused for a moment, lingering at Astarion’s ear. He uttered a simple word: “Pleasure.”
Ten years after the defeat of the Absolute, Astarion haunts the streets of the Sword Coast like a ghost, alone, searching desperately for a cure to his undeath. While following the trail of a shadowy rumor, he meets a dark and mysterious man who reminds him of himself. With his fate hanging in the balance, he must decide whether to take this stranger’s hand and be led to a life new and strange. But—at what cost?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 121,872
- Chapters:
- 21/33
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 331
- Kudos:
- 193
- Bookmarks:
- 52
- Hits:
- 5,873
Bookmarked by rewrites
01 May 2025