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Tea Towels and Other Weapons of Courtship by sportfucker (SportFucker)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
26 Apr 2025
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Summary
Draco Malfoy thinks he's courting Hermione Granger.
Hermione Granger thinks Draco Malfoy is experiencing a very slow, very polite breakdown.
Nothing about this is graceful.
They're both doing it anyway.Expect:
-missed signals
-disaster courtship rituals
-deeply amused Slytherins
-Ginny Weasley gives dating advice
-a tea towel that counts as an act of war
-"this is fine" energy
-Hermione Granger, missing every signal
-Draco Malfoy, sending them like distress signals from a sinking ship
-nothing, absolutely nothing, remotely gracefulChallenge: April Showers Bring May Flowers
Aster:
Patience, elegance
Required Tag: Cultural Misunderstandings or Slow Burn- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,000
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 109
- Kudos:
- 1,265
- Bookmarks:
- 354
- Hits:
- 15,745
Bookmarked by DaisyJean
22 Aug 2025
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Summary
Part 1 of Kismet Trilogy: Told in snippets and chronological moments during the lives of the Marauders: From how they first met, to how James and Lily fell in love, to how Peter betrayed them. It ends with Sirius going to Azkaban. This story is told chronologically, but each chapter is essentially a standalone moment in the lives of the Marauders and of James and Lily’s relationship. (1965-1981).
Series
- Part 1 of The Kismet Trilogy
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 127,609
- Chapters:
- 69/69
- Comments:
- 315
- Kudos:
- 416
- Bookmarks:
- 124
- Hits:
- 32,161
Bookmarked by DaisyJean
06 Aug 2025
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Summary
Professional curiosity often takes Draco Malfoy to far-flung and exotic locations, most of which happen to be of archaeological interest to and actively excavated by Ministry employee and former flame, Hermione Granger. When an Egyptian dig yields an artefact of immeasurable power, Draco and Hermione are forced to partner once more, facing danger, betrayal, and a force that neither can fully comprehend.
Six months later, they are no closer to understanding the bond the Sun Disc created between them. Instead, nightmares plague their sleep and distrust erodes their fragile relationship. But when Draco’s research assistant, Mitchell, begins behaving strangely, they must set aside their differences and solve a centuries-old family mystery. They already saved the world; how hard could saving one man be?
- Words:
- 113,742
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 124
Bookmarked by DaisyJean
15 Jun 2024
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Everything I Know (About Love) by honeymilkplanet (orphan_account)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
21 Jun 2025
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Summary
Hermione Granger knows everything.
Except this: when she accepts a bet to seduce her onetime enemy Draco Malfoy, hoping to enliven an otherwise uneventful eighth year at Hogwarts, she will tangle the web of Fate more intricately than either of them could ever imagine.
Draco Malfoy knows everything—about love.
Born with the rare gift of seeing the red threads that bind soulmates to each other, he’s known, since the day he met Hermione Granger, that she is his soulmate. More than this: he knows who her soulmate is—and it's not him.
But Draco has never been one to accept what he's given. And as he returns to Hogwarts after the war for his eighth year—disgraced and friendless, but more determined than ever—he's decided that destiny can go to hell.
Even if he can't have forever, he'll steal whatever time with Hermione he can...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 291,137
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 254
- Kudos:
- 803
- Bookmarks:
- 479
- Hits:
- 59,064
Bookmarked by DaisyJean
08 Apr 2024
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Summary
To be loved is to be known.
And there is nothing more alluring to Hermione Granger than the unknown.
A reintroduction beginning in eighth year and continuing into adulthood, told through a series of standout moments, stemming from the most unlikely of bonds.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 51,289
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 845
- Kudos:
- 3,019
- Bookmarks:
- 1,247
- Hits:
- 72,756
Bookmarked by DaisyJean
09 Mar 2024
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Hopelessly Devoted (to a Malfoy) by magentamountain
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
29 Sep 2024
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Summary
What if Hermione Granger never went to Hogwarts, and had yet to meet Draco Malfoy?
The summer before her final year at Beauxbatons, Hermione meets a tall, blonde, and deeply troubled wizard alone on a secluded beach in her French Riviera hometown. They spend the summer together and fall in love, but he leaves abruptly, leaving no way to keep in touch.
That is, until Beauxbatons gets invited to Hogwarts for the Triwizard Tournament.
Hermione can't wait to see Draco again, but unfortunately for her, there is far more prejudice towards witches of her kind in Britain than France, and Hermione soon discovers that the most prejudiced of them all is the last person she could have expected...
(Aka a Grease-inspired Goblet of Fire rewrite that takes place in seventh year)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 53,441
- Chapters:
- 13/34
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 100
- Kudos:
- 194
- Bookmarks:
- 95
- Hits:
- 7,647
Bookmarked by DaisyJean
06 Mar 2024
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Bookmarked by DaisyJean
06 Mar 2024
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Tags
Summary
He has too much pride, she has too much prejudice.
They have too much passion.Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy are tentative friends and partners working in the DMLE as Aurors. That is until they find themselves swept up in a marriage of convenience (spoiler alert, it's not that convenient).
↢↭↣
Hermione sat up straighter, she was looking at him with a challenge in her eyes. “So,” she said, brusquely, “wanna get hitched?”
“I don’t know Granger,” Draco pressed his lips together into a thin line, and her face fell. “That was a pretty shit proposal.”
“Merlin’s balls, fine,” She laughed, before pulling off his signet ring and holding it out between them. She looked at him with her fire and honey eyes, and offered him something he didn’t deserve. Hope.
“Marry me?” She asked with a playful smile.
How could he say no?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,344
- Chapters:
- 8/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 48
- Kudos:
- 163
- Bookmarks:
- 49
- Hits:
- 6,835
Bookmarked by DaisyJean
29 Feb 2024
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Tags
Summary
Control isn't the only thing Draco Malfoy has lost. But he will get it back. He will get everything back.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 426,554
- Chapters:
- 34/34
- Collections:
- 16
- Comments:
- 4,805
- Kudos:
- 8,274
- Bookmarks:
- 3,693
- Hits:
- 750,208
Bookmarked by DaisyJean
25 Feb 2024
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Summary
After her divorce, Hermione decides to get out of town to recover from the pain of her lost relationship and the miscarriage she suffered a year previously. She arrives in the Cotswolds depressed and aimless but compiles a list of things to do that she hopes will help her get back on her feet. In the midst of her journey to find healing she keeps running into Draco Malfoy, who is nothing like she remembered him. He invites her into his world, and Hermione finds exactly what she was looking for - in the place she least expected it.
Series
- Part 1 of The List
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 70,526
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 32
- Comments:
- 667
- Kudos:
- 8,904
- Bookmarks:
- 3,373
- Hits:
- 331,387
Bookmarked by DaisyJean
03 Sep 2023
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Summary
Three years after leaving Hogwarts, Hermione is at the top of her field and presenting a breakthrough potion at a worldwide conference in Paris. When there are threats on her life by a radical wolf pack, she's assigned security for the week. As fate would have it, her security just happens to be the same man who was her first love.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 62,026
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 24
- Comments:
- 832
- Kudos:
- 10,522
- Bookmarks:
- 3,562
- Hits:
- 336,175
Bookmarked by DaisyJean
03 Sep 2023
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Summary
Dimitriv had been the Innkeeper for a number of years, never finding an heir to take over, leaving him - with his immortal life - to watch over the Inn and the creatures that came by for sanctuary, food or just a talk.
But that all changes when he finds a baby on a doorstep in a subburb, on a cold winter night, taking the child with him and quickly realising he has found his heir. Disrupting quite a few plans in the process, while endearing him with Death for taking his Chosen to grow up where he could make a difference.
Join Harry's journey as he becomes the next Innkeeper, part of a secret society, that still follow the Olde Ways of Magic, and don't let anything as a non-human appearance fool him into thinking the person sitting in front of him was some kind of monster.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 71,472
- Chapters:
- 35/35
- Collections:
- 24
- Comments:
- 1,545
- Kudos:
- 9,076
- Bookmarks:
- 2,975
- Hits:
- 278,878
Bookmarked by DaisyJean
01 Sep 2023
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Tags
Summary
After the war, Draco Malfoy seeks refuge from infamy in the Muggle world. A friendly Muggle couple takes him under their wing, but there’s a problem: they are intent on setting him up with their best friend, Hermione Granger.
Or, in which the Muggle friends Hermione Granger undoubtedly would have had will not take no for an answer.
Series
- Part 1 of The Meet Your Match Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 121,611
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Collections:
- 58
- Comments:
- 2,710
- Kudos:
- 21,128
- Bookmarks:
- 8,807
- Hits:
- 1,101,755
Bookmarked by DaisyJean
01 Sep 2023
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Bookmarked by DaisyJean
01 Sep 2023
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Tags
Summary
Draco felt something close to pity for the woman in front of him. While that disturbed him to no end, what really disgusted him was the fact that something had broken Hermione Granger’s spirit beyond recognition.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 297,014
- Chapters:
- 37/37
- Collections:
- 35
- Comments:
- 1,094
- Kudos:
- 7,144
- Bookmarks:
- 3,637
- Hits:
- 521,033
Bookmarked by DaisyJean
28 Aug 2023
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Summary
Les pèlerins: pilgrims; travelers on a journey to a holy place.
Hermione Granger refused to believe in fate.
She’d had enough of destiny and prophecies to last a lifetime.
But try as she may, she felt, sometimes, that an invisible golden thread stretched out and away from her.
All she could do was follow it.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,000
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 26
- Comments:
- 436
- Kudos:
- 6,686
- Bookmarks:
- 1,892
- Hits:
- 101,305
Bookmarked by DaisyJean
31 Jul 2023
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Summary
Hermione Granger had been asked—and agreed—to do many absurd things since learning she was a witch, usually involving Harry Potter. This long list included, in no particular order, smuggling baby dragons, being placed unconscious at the bottom of a lake surrounded by merpeople, and traveling back in time to fly an escaped convict to safety on the back of a mythical creature. But returning to a Death Eater-controlled Hogwarts pretending to be Daphne Greengrass may have been the most ridiculous yet.
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Slow burn, wartime Dramione. Complete.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 208,310
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Collections:
- 44
- Comments:
- 1,705
- Kudos:
- 11,275
- Bookmarks:
- 5,175
- Hits:
- 575,150
Bookmarked by DaisyJean
09 Jul 2023
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Summary
Malfoy's handsome face was contoured into a condescending smirk. "No faith in that giant brain of yours, Granger?" She looked up at him defiantly. "Maybe I don't have faith in you!" she said, raising her voice. Malfoy only looked at her. "You'll find I'm very surprising." Dramione AU, Year 6 with a slow burn and a killer twist. Book I of "This World or Any Other" series. COMPLETE.
Series
- Part 1 of This World or Any Other
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 118,892
- Chapters:
- 31/31
- Collections:
- 51
- Comments:
- 1,205
- Kudos:
- 9,273
- Bookmarks:
- 5,251
- Hits:
- 700,501
Bookmarked by DaisyJean
25 Jun 2023
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Summary
AU: Flynn wanted to steal the princess' crown, he never planned for the Princess herself to tag along. One thing is for certain; no one messes with Flynn Rider and he wasn't going to let this girl start now. He had to find a way to get rid of her, and losing his heart along the way wasn’t an option. Of course that was easier said than done.
Or alternately; what happens when Rapunzel was never kidnapped by Gothel and was instead raised a princess who accidentally ends up entangled with the infamous Flynn Rider?
Series
- Part 1 of Touch of destiny
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 282,702
- Chapters:
- 24/24
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 489
- Kudos:
- 797
- Bookmarks:
- 169
- Hits:
- 32,050
Bookmarked by DaisyJean
05 Jun 2023
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Summary
Hermione Granger couldn’t help but think that no matter how difficult they had all figured rebuilding their society would be, no one was expecting anything quite like this. It was another stark reminder that just when things were finally starting to level out, they would never truly have peace and stability. Her entire life in the magical world had been full of shocks and stumbles, and this one seemed like the biggest of them all.
A post-war Dramione marriage law fic... with a twist!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 90,508
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 1,266
- Kudos:
- 5,644
- Bookmarks:
- 1,922
- Hits:
- 251,749
Bookmarked by DaisyJean
15 May 2023