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Incorrect Hermitcraft Quote Drabbles by BunnyoftheDarknessVoid
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP, 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series, Evolution SMP, Yandere High School (Web Series)
12 Oct 2026
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Summary
Just drabbles inspired by incorrect quotes.
Quote that inspired first chapter-
A: Can I get back to my work now?B: Not until you've had a proper nights sleep.
A: I hate this family!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 156,906
- Chapters:
- 504/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 15,059
- Kudos:
- 5,108
- Bookmarks:
- 310
- Hits:
- 166,073
Bookmarked by river_hills
22 Oct 2026
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Summary
"Scar?" Grian repeated, more shifting, like he was sitting up. Tired but gentle confusion in his voice. "Are you okay?"
Scar should've hung up. It was bad enough he'd actually called. He should've lied, should've said it was a misdial and pretended to be okay. He should've done a hundred things and he did the one thing he shouldn't, because despite everything that happened between them, Scar felt safest with the one who hurt him. He said, a trembling whisper, "No."
or: fake dating your ex, what’s the worst that could happen?
Series
- Part 1 of reach me out here
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 56,076
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Comments:
- 1,967
- Kudos:
- 4,637
- Bookmarks:
- 904
- Hits:
- 77,795
Bookmarked by river_hills
20 Oct 2026
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Please Don't Die on Me, I Need You... by Huntress8611
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP, Minecraft (Video Game)
06 Oct 2022
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Summary
Keralis is hurt, and Xisuma… Xisuma doesn’t cope well with that.
Series
- Part 6 of Whumptober 2022
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,329
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 3
- Kudos:
- 418
- Bookmarks:
- 32
- Hits:
- 3,497
Bookmarked by river_hills
19 Oct 2026
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Summary
Throughout his life, Joe Hills had always been ‘other.’ When the Hermits summarised their rag-tag group, they mentioned their hybrids first, then the humans, the eternals — many of whom could be more accurately catagorised as gods — and then, tacked onto the end, Joe Hills. He had, or rather, as the Hermits tended to put it, was his own category. It was… an interesting position to be in. To hear the Hermits ask: “Where did he come from,” “How could he do all the supposedly impossible things that made up his average Tuesday?,” “What was he, really?” Questions he had no answer for. He tried not to let it bother him. Tried to let the questions roll off him like raindrops down a mountain. Except — here was the thing: Raindrops hitting a mountain weren’t exactly inconsequential. Over decades or centuries, they made their impact. Carved their lines into the cliff faces, collecting into raging rivers at the mountain's base. Slowly chipped away at the peaks until eventually there was nothing left. Of course, this wasn’t happening to Joe! No, not at all! He was just being dramatic — breaking into prose at random was just a consequence of being a poet, as Cleo liked to say.
Or: The Hermits get into trouble. Joe has to fix it.
Series
- Part 11 of M's Season 10 Hermitcraft Fics
- Part 1 of Sundown AU
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,241
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 10
- Kudos:
- 69
- Bookmarks:
- 7
- Hits:
- 458
Bookmarked by river_hills
18 Oct 2026
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Put that Fish Back, or so Help Me! by JustAnotherMutantKid for kat_with_a_k
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
22 Oct 2025
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Summary
Gem was pulled out of her dream by a familiar tugging in her chest, which forced her into wakefulness. She opened her eyes and started up at the ceiling for a moment, sighing heavily. Oh, not again… She got out of bed, quickly changing into dayclothes before stepping outside. The sun was currently rising to the East, casting orange and pink hues across the sky. In any other situation, Gem would stop to admire it. Today, though, she didn’t have the time. She scoured the shores of her base, and eventually found the source of her problem sitting on the pier, a fishing rod in his hands. There was a cooler next to him, currently shut but likely holding at least two fish. Gem sighed. She had a giant sign on the pier to warn people of which fish to throw back and which ones to keep, but this still happened every week…
“Joel!” She called out when she was close enough to him.
“Oh, hey Gem.” Joel waved halfheartedly. “How’s your morning going?”
Gem didn’t even bother with answering that.
“You took the wrong fish, Joel.”
Series
- Part 10 of M's Season 10 Hermitcraft Fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,010
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 4
- Kudos:
- 51
- Bookmarks:
- 7
- Hits:
- 210
Bookmarked by river_hills
18 Oct 2026
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Zedaph and Tango's Totally Normal and Intended Science Experiment! (I'm Lying) by JustAnotherMutantKid for 2000sraven
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
22 Oct 2025
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Summary
“So, are you enjoying our little break, Tango?” Zed asked, grinning.
“Uh — Yeah, sure!”
“I will remind you, it was your idea to ‘take a break’ by mining down a bunch of trees.”
“Yeah… maybe not my best idea.” Tango sighed, lifting his axe again. “This would be so much easier if I could find the time to make a tree chopificator. But considering we’re so late into the season, it wouldn’t be worth it.”
“Hm. Well if you did make one, we wouldn’t be enjoying this time together!”
Series
- Part 9 of M's Season 10 Hermitcraft Fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,668
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 2
- Kudos:
- 13
- Bookmarks:
- 2
- Hits:
- 73
Bookmarked by river_hills
18 Oct 2026
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Summary
Wels was having a pretty productive day. He’d done some detailing on his castle, cooked up a nice lunch and ate with Xb, stolen a few crops from Beef- it didn’t count as a crime since Beef didn’t care as long as he replanted- Yeah, it’d been a good day, and it was only- he glanced out the window, seeing the sun at a pretty high angle- maybe 2 pm, if that. If he found another project to work on he’d probably be able to get a little bit more done, or even just take the evening off. His wings, which were bound behind his back, twitched at the slight possibility of him unbinding them, but he ignored them. Even if he took the night off, which was unlikely, he wouldn’t be pulling those stupid things out until he went to bed.
Unfortunately, before he could decide what he was going to do, it was decided for him. He walked outside to take a look at his bridge, and when he turned to head back inside, a fully armoured Helsknight was standing between him and his castle’s front entrance. Wels swallowed and put a hand on his sword, which was the only piece of equipment he’d thought to bring with him. This wasn’t good. He was at a major disadvantage here, considering he didn’t have any armour to protect himself.
Series
- Part 1 of Wing Knights AU
- Part 6 of M's Season 10 Hermitcraft Fics
Bookmarked by river_hills
18 Oct 2026
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It’s What I Deserve (I Won’t Try to Change It) by JustAnotherMutantKid
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
17 Jul 2026
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Summary
He quickly grabbed his rockets from a chest by the door and flew to his portal, mining himself into one of Ex’s traveling tunnels and flying out to their home. By the time he got there his comm had buzzed no less than three times, and his heart was racing at the thought of whatever could make Hels go out of his way to ask for help in this manner. He threw open the front door without knocking, hearing Hels unsheathe his sword across the room. Hels wings were splayed out, blocking any sight to whatever was behind him.
“Just me!” Wels called out, watching Hels slowly lower his sword before turning back to the shape crammed into a corner behind a table. His wings folded against his back again, feathers still ruffled. Wels rushed forwards when his brain finally identified the cowering form as Ex, watching Hels put his sword away so he could reach out to them.
Series
- Part 10 of Wing Knights AU
Bookmarked by river_hills
18 Oct 2026
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Summary
They were halfway through the information retrieval system when Wels began to get agitated. It started off normal — just occasional pangs of discomfort or fear that Wels was able to push away fairly easily. But the pangs of emotion continued to surge, making Wels’ hands tremble and his thoughts race, it got harder and harder to force the feelings away.
“Are you… feeling alright, Wels?” X eventually asked.
Wels’ face flushed.
“Y-Yeah. I’m fine.”
AKA - Wels' normal day is interrupted by some strange feelings, and things take a turn.
Series
- Part 9 of Wing Knights AU
Bookmarked by river_hills
18 Oct 2026
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Summary
The wave of relief that washed over him when Hels’ home came into sight was probably the best thing he’d felt all week. He staggered up to the door, falling but managing to catch himself on a fence post. He knocked twice, and the door swung open a moment later. Hels stood on the other side, looking him over before scoffing.
“I see you maybe twice a month, and every time I think ‘surely he can’t get any worse,’ and then the next time I see you, you prove me wrong.” He stepped back from the door. “Come on in…”
He stepped inside, Hels locking the door behind him before guiding him to the sofa. Wels grumbled softly but leaned against his side. One of Hels’ wings wrapped around him.
“You can’t go on like this.” Hels said when they had settled.
Series
- Part 8 of Wing Knights AU
Bookmarked by river_hills
18 Oct 2026
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Summary
As Wels was tossing bits of scrap and worn-out gear into a recycling crate, a pang of discomfort ran through his wings. …seriously? Hels had just taken care of them less than a week earlier, there was no way they should already be messed up. He’d even started taking them out of the binder during the day so they’d hurt less, why were they already causing problems? He did his best to put it out of his mind, but as they continued to twitch and the discomfort began to shift toward pain, he eventually gave up. He glanced around quickly to ensure no one could see him, and pulled off his shirt and wing binder.
As he stretched out his wings and examined them, he found no reason why they were hurting. Sure, maybe binding them near-constantly wasn’t a great idea, but it’d never caused this much of an issue before. Another bolt of pain shot through them, and Wels remembered something.
Series
- Part 7 of Wing Knights AU
Bookmarked by river_hills
18 Oct 2026
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Summary
Wels was not being nearly as productive as he wanted to be, and for once it wasn’t Hels’ fault. He’d barely done anything today, but his bones still felt heavy. His thoughts were slow and confused, and it was hard to keep a train of thought for more than a few seconds. He didn’t know what was wrong with him, but whatever it was was really annoying. He had stuff to do for goodness’ sake! He couldn’t keep putting things off because he was ‘tired’ or ‘didn’t feel right,’ where was the discipline in that? His old legion would be ashamed of him… Before he could get too far into that line of thought, he was distracted by his comm pinging. He’d assumed it was a mainchat, but was shocked when he saw it was a direct message.
Hels: Could you go get Xisuma? He’s exhausted and not feeling great, Ex has been out of commission for over a day now
Wels: Yeah, I’ve got it. Let me know if you need anything!
He groaned and fixed his attention on the door. At least this was sort-of productive, since he’d be doing something other than sitting on the couch.
Series
- Part 6 of Wing Knights AU
Bookmarked by river_hills
18 Oct 2026
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Summary
Wels’ eyes snapped to the windows of the shop, and Hels raised his hands in surrender.
“I’m not here for you, even if your so-called ‘sleep schedule’ is about as good for you as recreationally jumping into lava. I- I need your help.”
If Wels wasn’t so concerned right now, he might’ve said something snarky about Hels asking him of all people for help.
“...what’s going on?”
Hels took in a small breath, drumming his fingers against his armour.
“It’s Xisuma. I- don’t even know how to describe it, it’s bad.”
Series
- Part 5 of Wing Knights AU
Bookmarked by river_hills
18 Oct 2026
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Summary
Wels was having a great training session. Sure he was sweaty and aching and tired, but it was going to be worth it. And sure, his comm had also been pinging for the last… few hours, or so, but he hadn’t bothered checking it. None of the messages were for him; they never were. Instead of focusing on that he zeroed in on the training dummy before him, performing a set of routine strikes. His third attack was weak, the sort of movement that would send his sword skittering across someone’s armour and leave him vulnerable. Wels couldn’t let that happen, so he did it again. And then, when that didn’t feel right, again, and again, and again, over and over until he was confident he could perform that maneuver with a sword tied to his arm. When that was done he moved onto the next movement, and then the next when he perfected that, and on and on until something yanked him out of his rhythm. There was a sound from his training room’s doorway, and he looked up to find a fully armoured Helsknight staring out at him.
Series
- Part 4 of Wing Knights AU
Bookmarked by river_hills
18 Oct 2026
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Won't you Let Me See Through your Projection? by JustAnotherMutantKid
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
11 Jan 2025
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Summary
Wels’ wings itched. It wasn’t his fault- Well, no, it was, but he didn’t take full blame for it. It was mostly Hypno’s fault for trapping his front door with a bunch of mud a week prior. Did he deserve it as retaliation for his pranks on the man? Yes, yes he did. But was he still upset that somehow a bunch of mud had managed to get into his binder and stick to his wings? Also yes, he had tried scrubbing it off in the shower after the first day, but hadn’t gotten very far. Every attempt to peel the mud off tugged at his feathers, and he quickly decided it wasn’t worth the risk of tearing a bunch out. Currently, he was trying to ignore how irritating they were to do maintenance on his armour and get back to training, but it wasn’t going very well. He was this close to just drawing a bath and sitting in his own dirt-water for a while in the hopes that’d help.
He was walking to grab some iron to patch a few gashes in his arm guards when Hels appeared around the corner. …seriously? Hels was invading his home now?
Series
- Part 3 of Wing Knights AU
Bookmarked by river_hills
18 Oct 2026
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Summary
Wels needed to focus. He had three days to finish the detailing on this side build- don’t ask why he only had three days, and definitely don’t ask where the build was because it certainly wasn’t in Hypno’s megabase- and he’d barely even started. Right now he was scarfing down a meal, and the moment he was done he was going to grab his shulker boxes and run back to- um- someplace that wasn’t Hypno’s base. He finished eating a few minutes later and scrambled out to his storage room, tossing a couple shulker boxes into his inventory and running outside. Ok, this was good. He was going to go and get this finished, maybe even before he needed it done-
“Welskniiiiiiight.” A familiar voice called as he bolted out his front door.
Goddammit… Suppressing a sigh, Wels stopped and turned to see Hels striding toward him. Well, there went his short lunch and productive afternoon…
Series
- Part 2 of Wing Knights AU
Bookmarked by river_hills
18 Oct 2026
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Unfortunately, This doesn't Count as a Kidnapping by JustAnotherMutantKid
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
24 Dec 2024
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Summary
Ex’s new trap was all set up, and he was very excited to put X into this one! It involved lava, spikes, lightning, drowneds, and all sorts of other things. He was very, very proud of it, and very ready to put Xisuma through hell (not literally this time, he’d already done that). Unfortunately for them, when they busted through Hermitcraft’s firewalls in a ball of red lightning, X didn’t do much more than blink at them slowly before turning back to his code, gnawing on what looked to be a very stale piece of bread. After a few minutes of X continuing to gnaw at his bread without making much, if any, progress in actually eating it, Ex sighed loudly and tapped the back of his chair.
“Xisuma. Did you notice who’s here now?”
Series
- Part 5 of M's Season 10 Hermitcraft Fics
Bookmarked by river_hills
18 Oct 2026
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Ex is Great at Making Healthy Decisions by JustAnotherMutantKid
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
31 Dec 2024
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Summary
Ex knew something was wrong the moment he saw X slinking toward his base. Ex’s view from their evil tower- which was very evil and not just a normal stone tower, no matter what Grian said- allowed him to see anyone entering his base from his bedroom, so though he knew this probably wasn’t a good thing, they still dragged themself downstairs to greet him. About the same time they made it down the far-too-many stairs, there was a knock on the door. Ex swung it open to see a very slouchy X on the other side.
“You look like crap.” They greeted.
X sighed just loudly enough for Ex to hear him.
“I’ve been told. Can I come in?”
AKA- X just wants some peace, and Ex wants to help him, whatever it takes. Unfortunately, though, they decided to put their own health on the backburner to achieve this goal, which might turn out to be a mistake.
Series
- Part 4 of M's Season 10 Hermitcraft Fics
- Part 1 of X and Ex Have a Totally Normal Family Dynamic
Bookmarked by river_hills
18 Oct 2026
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So Lock Me Up (And Leave Me Without a Key) by JustAnotherMutantKid
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
10 Jul 2024
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Summary
TW- Violence
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“Surender, Wels.” Hels’ tone was light as he held Wels in the air; he sounded like he was enjoying this moment. “You’ve already lost.”“N- No.” Wels flailed weakly, his legs attempting to grab purchase on ground that just wasn’t there.
“Right. Because it’s ‘not honourable’ to surrender when you can still fight.” Hels closed his eyes, shaking his head.
For a moment Wels thought he saw sympathy, guilt, and pain mingling together in his gaze, however when Hels opened his eyes again, they held only ferocity. He let go of Wels with one hand, moving to hold him up by the front of his armour. Wels closed his eyes, and a fist slammed into his stomach. The pain in his already injured stomach doubled and his breath was pulled from his lungs. He wheezed weakly, again trying to force air back into his body, his eyes tearing up despite the countless times he’d dealt with this.
“Guess we’re going to have to do this the hard way, as always…” Hels whispered, the previous mix of emotions leaking into his eyes for less than a second before vanishing again.
AKA- Wels has bad coping mechanisms and an all around bad time while Hels desperately tries to keep him alive.
Series
- Part 3 of M's Season 10 Hermitcraft Fics
Bookmarked by river_hills
17 Oct 2026
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Ex's Quest to get a Single Night of Rest by JustAnotherMutantKid
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
02 Jul 2024
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Summary
Ex was tired. He was tired, and he kind of missed the void. But nooo, some weird god thing had pulled him out, throwing him into some other strange plane of existence for a ‘second chance.’ A second chance that was starting to make him feel more vengeful than years in the void ever had. Seriously, they hadn't gotten more than a couple hours of rest in days. They were cranky, and more than anything they were tired.
Whatever this attempt at rehabilitating them was, it was obviously going wrong. He was pretty sure that the work here was supposed to be monotonous and annoying, maybe mirroring how it was for other people to deal with his nonsense back in his brother’s server, but he didn’t think it was supposed to leave him in a perpetual state of exhaustion and dread. No, that was the Hermits’ fault.
Series
- Part 2 of M's Season 10 Hermitcraft Fics
Bookmarked by river_hills
17 Oct 2026