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one day i'll watch as you're leaving (and life will lose all its meaning) by hollidayparty
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
24 Mar 2026
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Summary
“You want to talk to people about me?” Shane asked quietly.
There was something small and confused in the question. But Ilya was still furious and raw.
“Well I would,” he sneered, “if there was anything about you that was fucking interesting to talk about! It would be nice to not be so fucking bored and miserable!”
The second the words left his mouth, he watched the pain roll across Shane's features like a thousand fractures shattering through glass.
Ilya had seen Shane nearly break ribs. He had seen him miss game-winning shots, take hits that left bruises blooming purple and black across his skin. He had never seen this.
Shane closed his eyes for a long moment. He shook his head slightly, a tiny movement, then nodded once as if agreeing with something only he could hear. His face twisted briefly with a fresh wave of pain before he forced it to still.
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What if Shane and Ilya don't make up so easily after the Boxing Day fight? The Centaur's plane never malfunctions, so Shane never proposes. Instead, Ilya gives him an ultimatum on coming out and going public. It backfires spectacularly.
Series
- Part 3 of hollanov longfics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 62,129
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Comments:
- 2,819
- Kudos:
- 18,470
- Bookmarks:
- 6,926
- Hits:
- 480,677
Bookmarked by LittleSunflower
20 May 2026
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Summary
Even though your relationship was still fairly new, you couldn’t stop overthinking how certain things could even work out, between a human and a Na‘vi.
Bookmarked by LittleSunflower
05 Jan 2026
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Summary
You’d heard the whispered speculations and stifled giggles during the daytimes.
You’d seen the furtive glances that the other women cast at Neteyam and Lo’ak through coquettish eyes, cheeks stained a blushing mauve as they exchanged coy smiles with the two brothers.
And during the nights? Hell, you’d heard the moans and wanton cries for yourself…
You were definitely curious, but did you have it in you to go through with their proposition?...Bookmarked by LittleSunflower
02 Jan 2026
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Summary
No one understands Arthur and Merlin's relationship, least of all Arthur and Merlin. Limping home after Camlann they have time to figure it out.Now if only people would stop trying to give Merlin a promotion.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 47,823
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Comments:
- 1,140
- Kudos:
- 4,474
- Bookmarks:
- 1,284
- Hits:
- 63,988
Bookmarked by LittleSunflower
14 Aug 2025
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Summary
Merlin wants a tattoo. And maybe the tattoo artist as well.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,499
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 116
- Kudos:
- 5,553
- Bookmarks:
- 1,139
- Hits:
- 69,876
Bookmarked by LittleSunflower
20 Jul 2025
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Summary
Arthur sports a neon orange crown made of cardboard. Their daughter, with her rainbow coloured blanket-turned-cape, pink crown and toilet paper roll sword, is safe in his arms. Around Arthur's shoulders, a ruby red blanket serves as a cape. It flares and swoops as they spin around and around.
It’s missing a golden dragon on the left shoulder, Merlin thinks offhandedly.
And then Merlin remembers.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,324
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 199
- Kudos:
- 5,832
- Bookmarks:
- 926
- Hits:
- 34,216
Bookmarked by LittleSunflower
29 Jun 2025
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Summary
After seeing a lord use a servant to piss inside of, Merlin asks Arthur to do the same thing to him.
Bookmarked by LittleSunflower
09 May 2025
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“Perhaps we are doing her a favor then,” he says, pausing to chew the inside of his cheek before adding in a measured, careful voice. “I wouldn’t want to live without my love, either.”
Arthur whips around in the saddle to stare at him, eyes hard and dark, like the storm clouds building on the distant horizon. “What love? You haven’t got a love,” he snaps, like he’s the sole keeper of all Merlin’s secrets.
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- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,175
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 310
- Kudos:
- 8,092
- Bookmarks:
- 1,512
- Hits:
- 62,024
Bookmarked by LittleSunflower
09 May 2025
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Summary
In which Merlin wakes up and chooses violence, and decides not to rethink that choice.
Or: Merlin realizes that, if he's going to keep Arthur safe and keep his magic a secret, he will have to get a little bit physical. Arthur has to rethink everything in existence when he's suddenly forced to confront the fact that Merlin can fight, and is in fact, bloody dangerous
Or: The author randomly thought "Murder Twink Merlin" while re-watching the show, and decided it was his mission in life to make that a tag.
Series
- Part 1 of Murder Twink! Merlin
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,802
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Comments:
- 731
- Kudos:
- 11,560
- Bookmarks:
- 2,495
- Hits:
- 107,827
Bookmarked by LittleSunflower
06 Apr 2025
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Summary
This Arthur isn’t even a prince yet– not technically. His eyes are a mix of gray and blue, and his blond hair is dirtier than Merlin remembers. But it’s him. As soon as the first official press photos of the baby are released, Merlin knows, deep in his old, ancient bones, that it’s him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,784
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 136
- Kudos:
- 8,313
- Bookmarks:
- 1,073
- Hits:
- 71,088
Bookmarked by LittleSunflower
22 Feb 2025
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Summary
This is… it’s fucking nice, is what it is. It feels easy in a way that Jake never would have expected it to. It’s gotta be because they’re going back to their normal lives tomorrow, no pressure of having to see each other every day to make it awkward. A decent amount of mutual attraction helps, too.
The morning after, and beyond.Series
- Part 2 of hangster 'verse
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 189,780
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 1,114
- Kudos:
- 5,207
- Bookmarks:
- 1,166
- Hits:
- 160,305
Bookmarked by LittleSunflower
24 Jul 2024
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Summary
“Jesus,” Eddie says, breathless. To everyone else it must sound like he’s just sighing at the outcome of the game, but Buck laughs beside him again, a deep rumble from his chest, and oh fuck. Eddie’s the one who’s not going to survive the night.
He looks down at his lap and almost groans out loud at the way Buck’s hand is just resting there like this is a common occurrence, like he doesn’t have Eddie half-hard in public.
...or, the poker game is too much. For both of them.
Bookmarked by LittleSunflower
12 Jan 2024
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Summary
As weeks pass after the Tsunami, Christopher has Eddie to help him deal with the scars it left behind. He also has Buck. Buck's dealing with his own demons, but he has both of them.
Eddie's trying to keep them all together and finding out his family might not be as small as he thought.
The 118 have their few cents to add, too, because don't they always.
| Canon through 3x03 | Complete | Depictions of trauma, some more detailed than others |
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 111,697
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Comments:
- 1,277
- Kudos:
- 4,570
- Bookmarks:
- 1,797
- Hits:
- 120,917
Bookmarked by LittleSunflower
05 Jan 2024
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Summary
“I can never trust magic, not when it has taken so much from me.”
So Merlin hides his away, buries it so deeply within himself he can forget it was ever there. And there it stays, even as his hands start to slow, to ache, to burn with the pain of loss, mourning for something inherent.
And then a dragon comes looking for it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,246
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 104
- Kudos:
- 4,790
- Bookmarks:
- 664
- Hits:
- 47,810
Bookmarked by LittleSunflower
12 Feb 2023
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Summary
This is a sex scene. Straight up just a sex scene. But it's really intimate and heady and full of emotion. Minutes, seconds before the first word of this fic, Arthur found out that Merlin had magic. They had been fighting and Merlin lost it and made the fire in the grate swell. The way it illuminated Merlin and made him look powerful and great, his eyes sparking, fiery--well, that did it for Arthur.
Bookmarked by LittleSunflower
29 Jan 2023
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Summary
"It was not new, this exquisite desire. It had painted Arthur's days and haunted his nights for far too long, but he had never dared to act upon it. Yet with the turning seasons, it only seemed to grow in strength, intoxicating and full of promise."
Bookmarked by LittleSunflower
21 Dec 2022
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Summary
Arthur gave Merlin his cloak thinking only of the warmth it would offer in a snowstorm. He never thought his manservant may be mistaken for him and snatched by bandits. Nor did he expect his dashing rescue of Merlin to turn his world so utterly on his head.
Because the bandits hadn't kidnapped a prince. They'd snatched a sorcerer, and now captivity is the least of anyone's problems.
A golden age awaits, but can they claim it together, or are they doomed to fail?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 264,596
- Chapters:
- 66/66
- Collections:
- 34
- Comments:
- 5,127
- Kudos:
- 14,693
- Bookmarks:
- 4,469
- Hits:
- 639,092
Bookmarked by LittleSunflower
19 Dec 2022
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Summary
"Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart."
Marcus Aurelius
Series
- Part 4 of The Hands of a Hundred Winters
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 321,450
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Comments:
- 363
- Kudos:
- 423
- Bookmarks:
- 91
- Hits:
- 17,735
Bookmarked by LittleSunflower
05 Dec 2022
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Bookmarked by LittleSunflower
24 Nov 2022
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Summary
“Your heart’s racing,” Steve noted, quietly.
Eddie laughed. It was more of a shaky exhale, lashes fluttering as he struggled to keep his composure. “Stevie,” he whispered, fingers cradling Steve’s side like he was precious. “Yeah, no fucking shit.”
OR: Ma Henderson & Wayne Munson get cosy, Dustin makes an off-hand remark, and Steve spirals. It works out in the end.
Series
- Part 6 of masterlist of my stranger things works
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,479
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 791
- Kudos:
- 11,670
- Bookmarks:
- 3,068
- Hits:
- 105,983
Bookmarked by LittleSunflower
10 Sep 2022