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frequently, secretly fond of each other. by milominderbinder
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
15 May 2026
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Summary
Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?”
“Okay,” Hollander says, voice cracking.
He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.
A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.
Series
- Part 1 of frequently, secretly.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 222,222
- Chapters:
- 28/28
- Comments:
- 18,684
- Kudos:
- 52,060
- Bookmarks:
- 19,878
- Hits:
- 2,423,169
Bookmarked by jaycohen5199
10 Jan 2026
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Baghdad Waltz by Dreadnought
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
27 Oct 2020
Tags
Summary
Lieutenant Steve Rogers has done all the right things. Graduated West Point at the top of his class. Earned a coveted spot as an infantry officer. Found the woman of his dreams. Everything is going exactly as planned. That is, until he accepts a platoon leader position for a unit deploying to Iraq, where he’s reunited with the ex-boyfriend he’d rather forget but never could.
———
Sergeant First Class Barnes thinks he knows war. He lives in a wild cycle of military training, deployments, sex, drinking, and pining for his former best friend and ex-boyfriend, Steve Rogers. But when Lieutenant Rogers is assigned as his platoon leader during Operation Iraqi Freedom, Sergeant Barnes realizes that he doesn't know the first thing about what it means to truly fight for something.
———
An Iraq War love story in three movements.
Or:
The story of two men who go to war and don’t quite come back home.
———
Please read the tags and warnings.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 680,727
- Chapters:
- 44/44
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 3,501
- Kudos:
- 2,318
- Bookmarks:
- 884
- Hits:
- 120,774
Bookmarked by jaycohen5199
13 Jul 2025
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True Love Never Dies by khaleesiofalicante for justaburningpile
Fandoms: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, Shadowhunters (TV)
16 Jul 2022
Tags
Summary
Magnus and Alec meet at university. They fall in love.
Shit happens.
They break up.
They meet again. They fall harder. They get married. They have kids.
Shit happens.
They get divorced.
A story told through three different timelines and four different perspectives.
Welcome to the divorce au.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 622,217
- Chapters:
- 41/41
- Comments:
- 1,147
- Kudos:
- 1,198
- Bookmarks:
- 179
- Hits:
- 60,748
Bookmarked by jaycohen5199
08 Jul 2025
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had we but world enough and time by powerfulowl (StuckyFlangst), ursa
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
29 Jun 2021
Tags
Summary
‘Bucky, do you know why I came up to you in the bar tonight?’
Bucky shakes his head. Because he really doesn’t.
‘Because to me, you look perfect.’ Steve’s eyes are so dark and his pale skin is flushed pink. ‘You look strong and solid and your thighs look incredible in those jeans and this –’ Steve runs his fingertips across the skin of Bucky’s stomach where his cropped t-shirt rides up ‘– belly is just perfect, Bucky. You’re fucking beautiful.’ Steve’s hands are on his face now. ‘Your cheek bones, this cleft in your chin,’ Steve’s fingers follow his words.
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Bucky Barnes is single, 30 and gay in New York - totally over the hill. So he's pretty surprised when a blonde Adonis named Steve picks him up and takes him home for the night. He's even more surprised when aliens invade New York and it turns out that Steve is Captain America.
Six years later, Steve Rogers breaks down. He hands over his shield and retreats to Tony's house in a forest by a lake. Waiting to greet him, with ribbons in his hair, is Bucky Barnes - caretaker and carpenter. A man Steve has never forgotten.
Can Steve find the courage to love Bucky? Will Steve have to sacrifice their life together to save the universe?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 36,363
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 339
- Kudos:
- 757
- Bookmarks:
- 229
- Hits:
- 12,274
Bookmarked by jaycohen5199
18 Nov 2024
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Tags
Summary
In the spring of 1944, the 104th Medical Battalion of the United States Army is disbanded, and its men reassigned to various infantry companies in preparation for their invasion of occupied France. For First Lieutenant Novak, this is less than helpful, as he has so far met his platoon’s designated medic a grand total of twice, and has both times found Sergeant Winchester to be the optimum combination of reckless, arrogant, and downright insufferable so as to make cohesive platoon function near impossible. When the time comes to move out, however, Castiel has to reconcile himself to the fact that men are going to go down and trust that Dean Winchester may well be the only person who can put them back together again. WW2 ETO infantry AU.
Series
- Part 1 of Ninety One Whiskey
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 401,183
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Collections:
- 15
- Comments:
- 3,029
- Kudos:
- 15,167
- Bookmarks:
- 5,197
- Hits:
- 677,358
Bookmarked by jaycohen5199
22 Nov 2023
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The Course Of First Love (And High School Crushes) by dreamrabbit (satisfyingbliss)
Fandoms: Shadowhunters (TV)
26 Sep 2023
Tags
Summary
Alec's life was a game of chance and it all led to him becoming a bartender in a fancy New York bar.
Chance decided to play another game on him when Magnus Bane found himself ordering a drink from him. None other than the same Magnus Bane that used to be Alec's best friend in high school, and his first crush.
But Alec would never admit the latter. As much as he'd never admit he still had a thing for Magnus, and the constant flirting wasn't helping. Or the fact Magnus was his new boss.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 44,214
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 166
- Kudos:
- 292
- Bookmarks:
- 49
- Hits:
- 10,261
Bookmarked by jaycohen5199
04 Nov 2023
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Tags
Summary
All characters owned by Cassandra Clare. I have no medical or police procedural experience so this is from research only, please forgive the odd error, it's all for story telling purposes.
Tags will be added as we go, all physical descriptions are based on the Shadowhunters TV show, not the books.
_______________________________
Luke took a deep breath, “How are you doing Alec?”He nodded but kept his gaze out of the window, “I’m good. A few aches here and there but the doctor has given me the green light and Jace and I have been training together again. I’m pretty much there”. He turned back to Luke and saw his raised eyebrow.
“That’s great, I’m glad you’re healing physically. I have to admit that wasn’t something I was particularly concerned with, you’re too damn stubborn to let that beat you”. He breathed in loudly through is nose. “I was more concerned with your mental health…”.
________________________________**COMPLETED**
Look out for the sequel... Old Pain, now complete.There are comments here which give away some of the twists and turns, so if you're not a fan of spoilers avoid reading them
Series
- Part 1 of Pain Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 276,859
- Chapters:
- 64/64
- Comments:
- 776
- Kudos:
- 1,123
- Bookmarks:
- 169
- Hits:
- 67,034
Bookmarked by jaycohen5199
01 Jun 2023
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Tags
Summary
It's hard to stay in the closet when the guy you had a one-night stand with two nights ago turns out to be your new partner ... but Alec will be damned if he isn't going to give it a try.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 29,410
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 630
- Kudos:
- 8,161
- Bookmarks:
- 1,635
- Hits:
- 113,814
Bookmarked by jaycohen5199
21 May 2023
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Tags
Summary
Magnus Bane needs to get married quickly to get his father off his back and fulfil the conditions that will allow him to keep his inheritance. But in hindsight, proposing to his one-night stand from the bar last night might not have been the brightest idea.
(A Crazy Rich Asians AU)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 40,154
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 635
- Kudos:
- 1,104
- Bookmarks:
- 196
- Hits:
- 21,823
Bookmarked by jaycohen5199
19 May 2023
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Tags
Summary
Mundane AU - A masseuse by day and an Etsy-seller by night, Magnus’ life is perfectly disappointing and perfectly unfulfilling. Always on the edge of poverty and barely making his rent payments, he keeps yearning for a better job and a better life and only finds comfort in watching an attractive streamer play video games during his evenings. Somehow, their paths cross, and they find themselves sharing more in common than they had initially believed…
Bookmarked by jaycohen5199
16 May 2023
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Tags
Summary
Modern/College AU - A chance drunken encounter with a pretty ballet dancer at a college frat party ends up dramatically shifting the trajectory of Alec’s life. What was supposed to be a casual one-night stand evolves into something more when Alec can’t seem to get the dancer out of his mind no matter how hard he tries and ultimately decides to take a risk and pursue something he never thought he’d be interested in.
Bookmarked by jaycohen5199
15 May 2023
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G.I. Joes and 2AM Diners by OhCaptainMyCaptain
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel
21 Mar 2015
Tags
Summary
They look nothing like what they used to. Time and life have completely changed them. But as they sit there in silence, eating two halves of one cupcake, letting Brooklyn remind there where they came from, and enjoying a sky full of stars… They are those same little boys, somewhere deep down. For just a second, you’d be able to see them again.
And Bucky thinks to himself that maybe it’s little moments like these – fleeting as they may be – that remind him why life is still worth living.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 100,481
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 485
- Kudos:
- 5,077
- Bookmarks:
- 2,258
- Hits:
- 132,211
Bookmarked by jaycohen5199
15 Nov 2020
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War, Children by Nonymos
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
29 Feb 2016
Tags
Summary
After Bucky was released from the hospital, it only took him a couple of weeks to give up on himself. Difficult to believe in any kind of future when the simple act of staying alive was almost too big an effort.
Out the frosted window, across the street, there was a tiny homeless guy burrowing under an awning.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 106,589
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Comments:
- 5,932
- Kudos:
- 14,959
- Bookmarks:
- 5,670
- Hits:
- 257,959
Bookmarked by jaycohen5199
11 Nov 2020
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Tags
Summary
Castiel Smith has spent his life climbing the corporate ladder, and has sacrificed a lot to get where he is. Including pieces of his own identity. Nobody can know he's not actually an alpha....
Dean Winchester has carved out a life for himself in spite of his troubled past. When Castiel Smith shows up in his yoga class, there might finally be someone he can open up to, truly....
Hidden truths are intimate things, and you never know what you'll discover when you're honest with someone.
Written for the DeanCas FlipFest 2019
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,491
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 175
- Kudos:
- 843
- Bookmarks:
- 154
- Hits:
- 8,610
Bookmarked by jaycohen5199
26 Aug 2020
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Tags
Summary
*clap*clap*clap*clap*
Dean's perpetually single and lonely in a crappy apartment in his hometown, with no end in sight to the physical and emotional issues that prevent him from moving forward or fully participating in a life and world that's passing him by. His new roommate's turning out to be a bro. A bro who has a shit-ton of loud gay sex in the bedroom across their hall, but life seems to be progressing and Dean discovers he doesn't have to be alone as he'd thought.
Complete, posting every day or so, all due to be posted by Christmas.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 82,375
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 274
- Kudos:
- 1,668
- Bookmarks:
- 548
- Hits:
- 26,038
Bookmarked by jaycohen5199
25 Aug 2020
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Tags
Summary
Castiel’s father is dying.
As a registered nurse, he’s the obvious choice out of the four Novak boys to uproot his entire life to care for him, despite the fact that Castiel hasn’t spoken to his father in nearly 20 years. So he’s stuck living in rural Kansas with a cranky former pastor and a car that won’t run. Luckily the best mechanic in town takes interest in the broken-down classic, even convinces the old man to restore it. And that’s not the only thing Dean Winchester takes interest in.
Except in Lebanon there are things you just don’t do and Dean knows the rules. You wave at your neighbor, your butt is in the pew on Sunday and boys DO NOT kiss other boys. Castiel can’t be with a guy who’s still in the closet and Dean can’t convince Castiel that it’s safer that way.
That’s just how it is in Lebanon.
Series
- Part 1 of In Lebanon Verse
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 87,629
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 390
- Kudos:
- 1,375
- Bookmarks:
- 412
- Hits:
- 28,920
Bookmarked by jaycohen5199
19 Aug 2020
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Tags
Summary
On the last day of school before Christmas vacation, Mr. Castiel Quinn discovers that one of his young students has smuggled male pornography into the classroom. Upon being told that the photos belong to the boy's uncle, Castiel vows to himself that he will keep the other man's preferences a secret. It's 1947; a man experiencing attraction to another man or fantasising about his sexual touch are transgressive faults, which could potentially result in imprisonment - or worse. But then the uncle walks in. The photos are of him: Dean Winchester, a rogue with an empty pocket and a child to feed. Castiel doesn't know it yet, but his life is never going to be the same again. Years pass between chance meetings, but even though they live their lives apart, Dean and Castiel's story is proof that absence truly does make the heart grow fonder.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 58,400
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 517
- Kudos:
- 1,789
- Bookmarks:
- 430
- Hits:
- 28,012
Bookmarked by jaycohen5199
26 Dec 2018
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Tags
Summary
Centuries after the surface of the earth was devastated by an unknown disaster, the remnants of humanity live in a series of vast underground silos, each unaware of the existence of the others.
For the inhabitants of Silo 34, the silo is the world, and the only world they know. Questions about the outside world are forbidden, and asking them is what got Dean Winchester's parents killed. He isn't even sure himself that they weren't crazy.
That all changes when he hears a voice on the radio -- a voice from another world.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 121,677
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 548
- Kudos:
- 1,815
- Bookmarks:
- 781
- Hits:
- 43,398
Bookmarked by jaycohen5199
20 Nov 2018
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Summary
High school AU. It's Dean's senior year at Lawrence High, and he's already given up on himself. It takes the arrival of the strange, intense, awkward Castiel Delacroix at the school to prove to Dean that maybe his life is worth saving after all.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 83,180
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 202
- Kudos:
- 3,621
- Bookmarks:
- 1,135
- Hits:
- 103,554
Bookmarked by jaycohen5199
15 Sep 2018
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Tags
Summary
In the early 20th century, coal mines were full of dangers: poisonous gases, potential collapses, explosive materials. Then there were the more subtle threats: crooked dealings, systemic exploitation, lies that protected those with power. Survival meant watching one’s back; a stupid mistake could cost lives.
All that coal miner Dean and schoolteacher Castiel can hope is that hiding their blossoming relationship won’t end up costing them everything.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 54,377
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 107
- Kudos:
- 321
- Bookmarks:
- 113
- Hits:
- 5,495
Bookmarked by jaycohen5199
27 Aug 2018