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  1. *

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    Penelope Margaret Parker did not like boredom.

    Now, most people who somehow accidentally end up reborn as a fictional character may not find their life boring, but Penny thought that those people forgot what day-to-day life is like. So, she's bored.

    Until Tony Stark crashes his way into her life roughly eight months too early by walking into her after-school retail job.

    AKA

    A SI-OC into Spiderwoman who did not plan on grabbing Tony Stark's interest anytime before Civil War

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,970
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Collections:
    71
    Comments:
    3,137
    Kudos:
    11,575
    Bookmarks:
    4,769
    Hits:
    258,999
  2. *

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    “No, it’s okay, Tony,” Peter says. He unzips his backpack and stuffs Thor’s hammer into it. It stretches a bit but holds. “I’ll drop it off at the tower after school. I can’t just leave it where anyone can take it, that would be irresponsible.”

    “Um, kid? Did you pick it up?”

    “Yeah, why?” Peter shrugs his backpack onto one shoulder and starts kicking dirt into the hole that the hammer made from the impact of Thor’s throw.

    “No reason,” Mr. Stark sounds strangled.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,706
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    10
    Comments:
    66
    Kudos:
    8,076
    Bookmarks:
    894
    Hits:
    55,387
  3. *

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    In which Abe catches Peter entering Deadpool's apartment. Peter proceeds to spill a whole lot of truth in their groupchat, confusing them all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    970
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    1,525
    Bookmarks:
    176
    Hits:
    9,006
  4. *

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    Standing in front of Mrs. Davis, handing over a stick of plastic and circuitry, he wondered how Tony even talked him into making the video in the first place.

    “Thank you, Mr. Parker. You may return to your seat,” she said with a smile.

    Peter nodded in response and turned to walk back to his desk, ignoring the feeling that he was walking to his death sentence.

    He fought down wave after wave of nausea as she plugged the flash drive into her computer and scrolled through the files until she found the one that he titled ‘Hero Project.’ Neither Ned nor MJ even knew what he had done for his project. He had refused to tell them out of fear that he would lose his nerve.

    Mrs. Davis casted her screen to the projector in front of the board and pressed the play button.

    There was no going back.

    OR

    The identity reveal in the least likely format I have ever written. This might be crack? Sort of? Idk.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,995
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    28
    Comments:
    108
    Kudos:
    5,810
    Bookmarks:
    1,087
    Hits:
    31,034
  5. *

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    “I know all about your secret identity.”
    A beat of silence. “Um,” Peter said, bunching his sweater in his hands. “Which… which one?”
    --
    Peter has three secret identities: Spider-Man, the superhero who swings around the city to save people. Parker Benjamin, who gives Tony Stark unsolicited advice on his research. And NightMonkey, the Instagrammer who keeps uploading increasingly popular but embarrassing drawings of Iron Man.
    And he can juggle them all just fine, thankyouverymuch.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,550
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    70
    Comments:
    773
    Kudos:
    27,062
    Bookmarks:
    6,491
    Hits:
    242,213
  6. *

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    Brett sighed and looked down at the folder in his hand.
    “Your name is Peter, right?”
    “Lawyer.”
    “Peter, we haven’t even started talking. Let’s just take a minute to ease up.”
    “Lawyer.”
    “Bud, we haven’t charged you with a crime. This is just talking.”
    “Law. Yer.”

    Goddamn.

    (Brett's encounters with Team Red/vigilantes and their weird fucking way of helping)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    120,500
    Chapters:
    25/25
    Comments:
    1,991
    Kudos:
    14,981
    Bookmarks:
    4,133
    Hits:
    358,787
  7. *

    Summary

    A series of one-shots with Peter using his oddly in depth knowledge and highly skilled proficiency with a range of deadly weapons, while scaring the crap out of the people around him.

    Really it's just an excuse for me to write BAMF Peter one-shots. Hope you enjoy :)

    Words:
    11,278
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    754
  8. *

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    What it says on the tin.

    Going through an angsty Spider-Man phase. I regret nothing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,222
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    11
    Comments:
    140
    Kudos:
    8,869
    Bookmarks:
    1,345
    Hits:
    92,325
  9. *

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    Peter's trying to get through the last period of the day - physics with Ms. Warren.

    His phone rings, and he dies a little inside, because he knows Ms. Warren's rules: accept the call, and put it on speaker.

    "Mr. President?"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,137
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    13
    Comments:
    80
    Kudos:
    7,814
    Bookmarks:
    906
    Hits:
    65,406
  10. *

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    Peter loves working with Tony. He likes training with the Avengers much less.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,194
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    281
    Kudos:
    10,207
    Bookmarks:
    1,116
    Hits:
    70,748
  11. *

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    “Bring Spider-Man to us, Mr. Stark,” High-heels says and rattles off an address. “If that bug isn’t here in the next twenty four hours, then your intern gets it. We are not going to ask a second time.”

    There’s a pause.

    Then, “You want Spider-Man?

    “In exchange for your intern,” High-heels affirms.

    “Spider-Man,” Mr. Stark repeats. He sounds more amused than worried for Peter’s apparent safety.

    also known as: Peter Parker is held hostage…in order to get to Spider-Man. Throw in some Accords reconciliation and, well, Peter’s life just got a whole lot weirder.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,403
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    60
    Comments:
    365
    Kudos:
    27,886
    Bookmarks:
    4,833
    Hits:
    223,978
  12. *

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    Peter Parker is known to his classmates as kind, smart, and always willing to help out someone in need. He's the upperclassman sweetheart of his school's engineering department and is loved by all, so when some of his classmates find out Peter just turned 21, they decide to invite him out on the town to introduce him to bar culture. Little do they know, Peter is friends with mercenaries and has spent the last seven years knee deep in New York's crime scene due to his vigilante work. Chaos ensues.
    ...
    Otherwise known as Peter is best friends with one Wade Wilson and has been frequenting Sister Margaret's since he was a teenager.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,203
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    7,690
    Bookmarks:
    1,141
    Hits:
    37,520
  13. *

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    “Ok, it wasn’t blackmail, exactly, I just let them know that I had some information on them that I’m sure they didn’t want getting out.”

    “That’s blackmail.”

    “Ok, fine, so I may have blackmailed the CEO a bit. But it’s not like I did it for anything bad!"

    ~~~

    Peter Parker knows Everything about Everyone then makes it Everyone's problem

    (Inspired by this Tiktok!

    (Newly added 7th chapter 5/24/26!)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,123
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    292
    Kudos:
    9,836
    Bookmarks:
    1,700
    Hits:
    103,061
  14. *

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    "Wow, dude, this thing is awesome. Does it generate its own electricity?" Peter flipped the hammer once in the air and caught it, watching in amazement as sparks danced over it. "Like, I know you're the god of thunder, but I didn't know your hammer had magic powers too! That is so cool. I want one. Like, I won't get it, obviously, 'cause I don't want to steal your thunder—no pun intended.”

    He grinned at his totally-intended pun, but Thor didn't react. Not even a twitch of the lips.

    “Okay, yeah, that was a dumb joke,” Peter admitted. “Sorry. Here's your hammer, Mr. Thor.” He held out the weapon to its rightful owner.

    Thor just stared.

     

    (Peter Parker meets Thor for the first time. It does not go as expected.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,220
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    87
    Comments:
    342
    Kudos:
    36,936
    Bookmarks:
    5,177
    Hits:
    243,266
  15. *

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    Peter meets Daredevil when the man saves him from a shootout.
    He meets Deadpool when the guy’s trying to steal a car.
    He meets the Punisher when Red brings him to the gym.
    He meets Jessica Jones when she corners him on a streetlight.
    He meets Hawkeye when Jessica’s hired to solve one of his assassinations.

    All of this to say, he meets a lot of people before he meets Tony Stark.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,085
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    137
    Kudos:
    9,991
    Bookmarks:
    1,982
    Hits:
    60,584
  16. *

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    Here. In this sacred place of learning, where colleagues have reported Peter’s bruises to HR and Title IX six times this month and where his every move is watched like a fucking hawk by a load of meddling, beady-eyed, in-office, do-gooders.

    Here, on this shitty hill of all hills, this young lady has decided to die.

    (Peter is a college advisor. It is almost as thankless as being Spiderman.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,595
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    95
    Kudos:
    1,767
    Bookmarks:
    283
    Hits:
    6,411
  17. *

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    “Peter, is it supposed to be doing that?” One of his students asked him. He looked up to see the industrial-strength magnets he’d collected for this lab trying to crack through the glass between them to be reunited. The glass splintered.

    “Yeah, no. That’s totally fine,” he lied. Then he inconspicuously chased everyone to the corner of the lab, donned a glove, and smashed the glass so that it wouldn’t splinter and stab someone in the eye in its explosion.

    His students cheered.

    He needed a drink.

    (Peter gets called back to the city at the age of 25 to help mitigate the rapidly increasing crime rate. He's in way over his head, so he sets out to re-establish Team Red.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,483
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    852
    Kudos:
    9,290
    Bookmarks:
    1,899
    Hits:
    155,595
  18. *

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    me: hey have u seen twitter

     

     

    matt: i haven’t seen twitter no

     

    me: that stopped being funny about 203738 years ago

     

    dont interact (wade): dont listen 2 him bby ur hilarious

     

     

    Daredevil and Deadpool and Spiderman. The only thing - the only thing - they have in common is the red in their suits.

    And, apparently, their unique ability to put up with one another.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,096
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    15
    Comments:
    152
    Kudos:
    7,117
    Bookmarks:
    1,207
    Hits:
    44,216
  19. *

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    Peter’s headache is only growing worse. He has no idea where he is, no recollection of the past 24 hours, and is stuck inside a small, cramped space with Deadpool.

    And, apparently, a slumped, unconscious lump of a man. What the heckaroonie.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,250
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    17
    Comments:
    196
    Kudos:
    7,647
    Bookmarks:
    1,532
    Hits:
    92,895
  20. *

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    Summary

    “Huh,” Peter said, scratching his cheek. “So they’ve tasked Romanoff with bringing me in?”

    “I mean you’ve been evading Fury for a decade or so,” Power shrugged, “Widow’s the best of the best. It’s a smart choice,”

    Peter sighed, hanging his head, “Why do I have to have a stupid ‘moral objection’ to mind-wiping,” He griped, using his spare hand to massage his temples.

    “Well, that’s the reason we chose you to wield us,” Power pointed out in an annoyingly sensible fashion. “Even after several millennia, you don’t let the abilities go to your head,”

     

    AKA a time travel fix-it AU where Peter actually fixes shit (I just love SHIELD and we all know if Fury had been there during CW the Avengers would still be together). He is also extremely Done. Natasha is his glorified babysitter.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,061
    Chapters:
    5/10
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    68
    Kudos:
    893
    Bookmarks:
    234
    Hits:
    15,787

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