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campus cryptid vs. future valedictorian by GlassRose
Fandoms: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
04 Aug 2020
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Summary
Mara Glass did not care about "weird hot guy," the supposed "campus cryptid." She had heard of him her first couple years and had him pointed out to her by a classmate once, but what was there to notice? Okay, he was probably thirty, a nontraditional student, so what? There were a number of those around. Apparently he was hot--well congrats to people who were into people, they could keep him. And if you asked Mara, from her extremely objective perspective, those Disney-green eyes were doing a lot of heavy lifting. There was nothing particularly noteworthy about a thirty-something guy who didn't talk about himself to twenty-year-old classmates. He probably had, like, a real life. There were rumors he was married, although Brittany noted that the only reason people thought that was because one time someone heard him finish a phone call with, "You light the candles, I'll bring dinner. I love you." None of that was remotely interesting to Mara. He sounded like a normal person, and she wished people would shut up about him.
Then in third year, she had a history class with weird hot guy.
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campus cryptid vs. future valedictorian
GlassRose
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Who are you going to call for, what do you have to say? Keep your hat on your head, home is a long way away.
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Thot Booker, helps pregnant women and newborn, landlord, eden and victor, snack doing home improvements, hookups, Title from "Life and How to Live It," summary from "Kohoutek," both by R.E.M. She lives on a street in the 19th that somehow manages to be both chic and unsafe, and she’d be too young for him even if he were the age he looks. She’s pretty, lighthearted, and wasted on him, who just wants to numb himself with the distraction of sex. Hygiene, running water and germs theory, The team has slept in many different configurations in many different places: a number of safehouses over the years, the Val d’Argent mine, Nicky’s cottage in Sanremo, Joe’s house in Tunis. (Their homes, Booker thinks, places they trusted him to enter, and this is what he did with that trust.) The cottage has three comfortable bedrooms, and the house can host a small army and probably has at various points, but they stayed in many closer quarters over the years, too. Never, though, a place that belonged to Booker: he hasn’t had a home like that since he left Marseille for good and joined the team. He bought this building as a fallback, so that he’d have a place if he needed it, but he hasn’t used it until now. Memes images, unicorn cake, nipples. Dostoevsky wrote that passage more than a century and a half ago, but it feels directed at Booker, both then and now. It has always felt immoral that he has lived so long, that he outlived Mathilde and their sons, all of whom deserved long, full lives. Mathilde died at fifty-one, beyond the average for a woman of her time and class, but her health had been failing for some years. The last two or three years seemed to Booker more like prolonged suffering than like a real life, though Mathilde maintained that she was glad to have the time with him. Still, it seems like an obscenity that he has potentially thousands of years ahead of him, while she, unrelentingly patient and generous, with a wit that could draw him out of his darkest moods, lasted a bare handful of decades on the earth.
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Neither Joe nor Andy had turned on the car radio, and nobody in the back seat had thought to ask for it. Nile had fallen asleep not long after they’d left - healing from that much damage is exhausting. Nicky sits in the middle, and on his other side, Booker is completely silent. Andy is asleep too, her head resting on the passenger side window.
Joe doesn’t say anything, but Nicky doesn’t need him to. He can see how tense Joe is, how tightly he’s gripping the steering wheel, how he glances up at the rearview mirror, at Nicky, every five minutes.Series
- Part 1 of prismism
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Spice Trails by quincette for Aivelin
Fandoms: The Old Guard (Movie 2020), The Old Guard (Comics)
15 Jul 2022
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Summary
Joe smiled. “You know, a famous philosopher defines madness as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Nicky’s frown deepened. “That’s Einstein. Our bets are older than that man by many lifetimes. And I’m not doing the same thing over and over again, as you put it,” Nicky placed his arms on Joe’s shoulders and laced his fingers behind his neck, feeling the shorter, softer curls there. “I always use different ingredients.”
Joe chuckled. “Fine, then you are a glutton for punishment,” he kissed Nicky’s nose. “Because your mission remains unchanged, my heart. To fool the oldest tastebud in the world. What madness, insanity, a futile endeavour, truly.”
”Oh ye of little faith,” Nicky said dryly. “I have the help of the oldest man in the world, who would stand by me no matter how futile my endeavour is.”
Joe snorted. “Alas, it's a fault of mine, truly. I’d be there for my beloved even if he ruins me everytime.”
“Such a tragic character,” Nicky quipped, eyes dancing with mischief.
Or, Nicky is on a quest to fool the oldest tongue in the world. Joe is all to happy to assist.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,495
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 25
- Kudos:
- 258
- Bookmarks:
- 44
- Hits:
- 2,077
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36 years to forever by SchrodingersHalfling
Fandoms: Shadowhunters (TV), The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
03 Apr 2021
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Summary
Alec is 36 when he finds himself not bleeding to death in fucking Jersey.
If there is anything he is sure of it is that he should be dead.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,941
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 146
- Kudos:
- 1,965
- Bookmarks:
- 511
- Hits:
- 12,782
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Christmas And New Year With The Old Guard 2021: by loflight501, nkp1981
Fandom: Hartenstraat (2014), Il Padre d'Italia (2017), L'ultimo Terrestre | The Last Man On Earth (2011), Murder on the Orient Express (2017), The Old Guard (Movie 2020), What Happened To Monday (2017)
30 Dec 2021
Summary
24 Christmas stories and 2 New Year's Eve stories with The Old Guard.
- Words:
- 37,974
- Works:
- 26
- Bookmarks:
- 5
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Bookmark Notes:
DL
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Summary
Soldiers weren’t shaped with love in mind. A soldier began plastic, like a babe. He would then be moulded into a uniform shape, a rigid silhouette that followed the will of his master. A shadow, a hound.
Joe had been a soldier for centuries. His duty to Andromache was written into his nerves, his muscles. But instinct alone did not guide him. Every day he had a choice. Choosing to follow Andromache had been one of the bravest decisions of his long life, second only to loving Nicolò.Or: A meditation on the Old Guard men and ‘masculinity,’ through Joe.
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this is the tree of life, and this is how it grows by Ruby_Casablanca
Fandoms: The Old Guard (Movie 2020), The Old Guard (Comics), Sense8 (TV)
21 Dec 2021
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Summary
“You were dreaming again,” Brother Frattaroli says, his voice a deep and constant rumble. He does not sound surprised, nor should he. Nicolo knows his mind wanders, though never as far as to cross oceans. Not until today. “Where did you go?”
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A thousand miles away, Yusuf Al-Kaysani closes his hand around thin air, wondering if men with eyes the color of sea glass exist outside his imagination.
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aka the Sense8 AU no one asked for
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 42,712
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 127
- Kudos:
- 517
- Bookmarks:
- 97
- Hits:
- 9,189
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this is the tree of life, and this is how it grows
Ruby_Casablanca
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Summary
A collection of prompts and ficlets concerning one odd immortal family.
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Summary
Nicolò looks sheepish. "I killed you yesterday, and you awoke at the same time, the same place. But when I die, I wake at different times, different places. This bolt," he tosses it to Yusuf and it lands in the dirt by his knee, "it killed me yesterday, but I woke up many years from now. I lived several lifetimes in those places before returning here and pulling it from my neck."
Nicky's lives and deaths are different. He is unstuck from time - at every death he revives into a different point in his life. Each time he is struck down he wonders, will he awaken to deserts and swords? Will it be gunshots in cities? Joe and Nicky build a fractured life together, falling in love across two different sets of centuries, then patiently waiting for the other to fall in love too. He meets the rest of their little family out of order, but they still build a family around Nicky's involuntary time-traveling.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 107,251
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 2,057
- Kudos:
- 2,322
- Bookmarks:
- 1,050
- Hits:
- 45,675
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Bookmark Notes:
fascinating reimagining of the story with a very non-linear plot. well worth it.
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Nicky feels like he’s the only true human being in the room; he’s the only one shifting with discomfort and wrinkling his nose and feeling so sick at watching what’s going on. “Hey,” he says to the scientists, “Can’t you knock him out while you do that?”
“Why should we? We don’t have the budget for sedatives or pain killers.” One of the scientists says blandly, and that makes Nicky feel like he’s been shoved over an abyss. There should be empathy, or professional courtesy, or common decency, but there’s just a blank look of slight annoyance.
Instead of killing the doctor like he really wants to, Nicky pulls his silenced handgun from a pocket and shoots the victim in the head. “They’re immortal and I don’t get off on watching people writhe in pain. Even if drugs aren’t in the budget you can bet bullets are."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,955
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 168
- Kudos:
- 2,177
- Bookmarks:
- 436
- Hits:
- 13,328
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hilarious concept, great execution
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get a little lonely every year around this time by liadan14
Fandoms: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
18 Dec 2022
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Summary
“I still don’t have a boyfriend to bring to the stupid Starbucks holiday party,” Joe said mulishly.
“So you invent some dashing, romantic reason he couldn’t make it,” Nicky said.
When he shook his head, Joe’s curls wobbled a bit. Not for the first time, Nicky restrained the urge to reach out and touch. “There’s nothing dashing or romantic about missing a date,” Joe said firmly.
“He’s a surgeon who had to perform open-heart surgery on a four-year-old to get her home in time for Christmas,” Nicky offered. “He’s a fireman busy putting out electrical fires in overdecorated houses.”
Joe burst out laughing. “Who would believe that?”
Or: Joe asks Nicky to be his fake date to the holiday party at the Starbucks across the street from his little independent café-slash-bookstore. Nicky has no self-preservation and is completely in love with Joe, so of course he agrees.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,321
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 42
- Kudos:
- 618
- Bookmarks:
- 58
- Hits:
- 3,743
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One Less Day from Dying Young by Triscribe
Fandoms: The Old Guard (Movie 2020), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
05 Mar 2025
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Summary
They are the Old Guard.
They fight. They die. They get back up and keep fighting.
What are they supposed to do with a baby?
(I've got other AUs featuring "Harry raised by this or that family", "Harry 'stolen' and raised by muggle thieves", and "Harry (to be) raised by Batman", but I honestly don't think Hogwarts would be able to handle a "Harry raised by semi-immortal warriors, including a former soldier of Napoleon's army, two men who first met on opposite sides of the Crusades, and a woman who's been alive for over seven effing thousand years".
So of course, I *needed* to give it a shot. For Reasons, you understand.)
Series
- Part 34 of Alternate Living Arrangements
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too short
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I don’t know this fandom, but ooo… /pos
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Summary
Nicky always had the gift of honesty, he said things as they were without filter, sometimes being almost crude at it, even violent or obscene. He wasn’t much of a talker, not like Joe was, but every once in a while he said something – a single line, sometimes even a single word – so heavy that left Joe utterly speechless.
Or, three times Nicky said something disgustingly romantic to Joe without realising it.
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“Alright,” Yusuf said. “I will play your husband, for a day or two.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,978
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 61
- Kudos:
- 830
- Bookmarks:
- 69
- Hits:
- 6,591
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“Andy,” Nile whispers, delight hanging from each syllable. “Andy, we’re gonna go to space.”
(A small series of scenes wherein The Old Guard joins Starfleet.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,022
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 314
- Kudos:
- 1,588
- Bookmarks:
- 429
- Hits:
- 10,510
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Alternate Living Arrangements by Triscribe
Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling, The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
16 Jul 2025
Summary
In which I find as many excuses as possible to give Harry Potter a change of address - because I have a tendency to believe in Nurture over Nature, and it's fun to see all the ways I can spin his fate differently than canon.
- Words:
- 321,913
- Works:
- 36
- Bookmarks:
- 1,395
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Bookmark Notes:
[unfinished series]
In which I find as many excuses as possible to give Harry Potter a change of address - because I have a tendency to believe in Nurture over Nature, and it's fun to see all the ways I can spin his fate differently than canon.
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“...Andy and I will be doing the actual burglaries, each of us hitting a different office. Booker is on comms, and will be pulling the information off Merrick’s servers once I get him access. Joe is our inside man at the party and our exit strategy. But to get the access card off Merrick, and the security codes off the Senator - that’s more than Nicky can do on his own.” Quỳnh explains.
Nile looks at them with wide eyes. “You want me to go to the gala?"
The last thing she ever expected in hiring a bunch of thieves was to end up participating in the grift herself. But honestly? It may be the best decision Nile's ever made. After all, justice was denied her when she tried the legal channels. It looks like she might have a little more luck stealing it herself.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,297
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 34
- Kudos:
- 216
- Bookmarks:
- 44
- Hits:
- 1,822
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Shivering, Nicky draws in tighter on himself. The room they’re being held in is small, but it’s drafty. The vents keep letting in more bursts of air, and they took Nicky on his evening run. He’s wearing shorts and a T-shirt, and the sweat has long-since become cold and clammy against his skin. He has no real concept of how long they’ve been in here, but he knows it’s been at least three hours. That makes it past midnight. There are goosebumps on his knees.
To his left, Joe shifts.
Nicky starts.
“It’s okay,” Joe says, voice hushed. It’s an improvement over the first hour, when he wouldn’t stop calling for help even though there was clearly no one listening. “We’ll be warmer closer together.”
Romance novel blurb: Kidnapped together, sons of rival business moguls Joe al-Kaysani and Nicky di Genova find common ground...and maybe more.
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Bookmark Notes:
Romance novel blurb: Kidnapped together, sons of rival business moguls Joe al-Kaysani and Nicky di Genova find common ground...and maybe more
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Booker and Nicky are captured on a job, but not by the people they hunted. Forced to witness a brutal assault on Nicky, Booker’s guilt over his helplessness to stop it eats him alive until they find a way to move forward.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,368
- Chapters:
- 1/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 4
- Kudos:
- 34
- Bookmarks:
- 4
- Hits:
- 556