1 - 20 of 288 Works by DRHPaints
Navigation
Listing Works
-
Tags
Summary
Well, Milo thought, hitching up the plastic bag of paltry possessions and walking to the opposite neighbor’s, who he had yet to meet. Like Mae West said, “Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before."
“Coming!” A deep voice radiated from within. Listening to the heavy footfalls, two thoughts bickered in Milo’s brain.
Please be cute, please be cute, please be cute.
And
In the name of all that is gay and glorious, please let him be blind so he can’t see that I look like a corpse hauled back from hell.
“Hello?”
---
After coming home from the hospital, Milo connects with his depressed and closeted neighbor, Steven.
-
Tags
Summary
She nudges his belly with a knee, smile wicked and innocent and everything in between. "I asked if you wanna fuck."
Barry expected a lecture. Where have you been? Why didn't you come to bed last night? Not....this. "Um..." He scratches his beard. Looks at her for the first time in weeks. Her slumber-puffed eyes, the erupting volcano of her hair. All beautiful, all inaccessible. "I dunno. I'm pretty tired."
"You're always tired," she manages to keep the whine out of her voice. Barely. But her skin screams for his touch, her heart aches for his absence. So close, so gone. "And you never sleep next to me anymore."
Maybe he can't think of how to respond. Maybe he has nothing to say. But Barry shrugs, returning to the game. To the place where his only job is to circle the track. The same, over and over and over. Just trying not to crash.
"You know, you can do anything you want to me."
---
Sally gives Barry permission to use her as he pleases.
-
Tags
Summary
More than anything Barry wants to sleep. After their fight last night, he has no energy for whatever this is. But he knows if he yells, if he shuts down, Sally might run. And he might never, ever find her. So he paints on a smile, features wonked with exhaustion. “Sure, what’s up?”
Sally hushes. Looks around as if someone, as if God, might overhear. “I was wondering if, um… If you could, you know…”
Barry doesn’t know. His nostrils flare. A fist flexes, but he doesn’t push. No use in making her cry. Again.
Finally, her hazel eyes crawl across the floor with a voice softer than a dormouse. “If you could eat me.”
---
Miserable in their desolate trailer life, Sally asks Barry to swallow her sadness.
Series
- Part 1 of BDSM (Babes, Donuts, Snacks, and Meals)🍩
-
Tags
Summary
Over a year of hopping from one emptiness to another. Wigs and sunglasses and baseball caps. Shielding their identities from nobodies. At first, Sally thought it was fun. Maybe even a little sexy. Adapting to a new character every few hundred miles. Stretching her acting muscles to the breaking point as she tried to inhabit Barry’s vision.
But Barry’s sight seemed blurred. While his face healed, his mind fractured. Enemies materializing around every corner. Only to evaporate when he squinted. Or made the mistake of telling Sally. Yes, Sally. The love of his life, who not six months ago kicked him to the curb. Sometimes, late at night with an abyss of country before them, Barry wondered if she was even real. Often reaching across the center console while she slept to trickle fingers through her blonde hair. Just checking. Just in case.
But in this trailer, partially furnished and blank, a painting the artist can’t quite finish, Barry believes Sally is here. Because the Sally of his dreams would never scowl at him like that.
---
Fed up with prairie life, Sally takes out her frustrations on Barry's ass.
-
Old Times, New Love by DRHPaints
Fandoms: Conan O'Brien - Fandom, Conan O'Brien RPF, late night with conan o'brien, US Comedians RPF, Late Night Host RPF, Conan Plays Old Timey Baseball
17 Apr 2024
Tags
Summary
What kind of person applies for an internship at a place like this? Only a week in and already she stuffed mattresses with straw, milked cows, and baked her own bread. But in truth, Nell has always been unique. A woman who yearned for the simplicity of yesteryear. And working with her hands, whether it be churning butter or building fires, brings her not only a sense of accomplishment, but peace.
So here she sits. On a bench that’s anything but ergonomical with outdated undergarments binding her slender body in the June heat. But she doesn’t complain. No. She signed up for this and she intends to complete the challenge. Though, to be fair, she doesn’t love having to use an outhouse.
Near the end of the afternoon, a lanky man skitters around the field, holding a microphone out to people who act as though they’ve never seen such modern technology. Nell heard last night. Rumors that a talk show host would be visiting their quaint little village. And though she recognized his name, never before did she witness the man known as Conan O’Brien.
---
During a remote, Conan meets the mysterious Nell.
-
Taste by DRHPaints
Fandoms: Saturday Night Live Sketches, 2007 National Douchebag Championships
17 Apr 2024
Tags
Summary
Waiting by the entrance there’s a redhead with a bag under her arm. Familiar. Pretty enough, but maybe a tad too sweet for their regular clientele. At first he can’t place her. Did he meet her at another club, maybe? Jake checks his fly on approach, not bothering to keep his eyes from crawling over her voluptuous figure. “And who might you be.”
“Ruth.” Chin jutting out, she won’t back down from the owner. Even with his roving gaze and gum rolling in his strong jaw, she refuses to be intimidated. Kayla told Ruth she could find work here at Taste, Jersey’s premiere strip club. Get off the streets. Be comfortable indoors on those nights when rain splashed her thigh high boots, or snow threatened to freeze her tits off under one of many skimpy dresses. But in Ruth’s experience, the kind of guys who run strip clubs can smell fear. And they only like the scent if it leads to more money.
Oh shit. It’s her. That night…
---
When Ruth comes to Taste seeking work, the club owner Jake recognizes her from a night long ago.
-
Master Bill by DRHPaints
Fandoms: Bill Hader - Fandom, Bill Hader RPF, Actor RPF, American (US) Actor RPF, Director RPF, US Comedians RPF
16 Apr 2024
Tags
Summary
Bill never thought of himself as the sort of fellow who lounges around while a lady serves his every whim. He considered himself a feminist, a man raised by women to respect women. And the idea of loafing on the couch while his girlfriend toils away in the kitchen flies against this belief.
But Audrei, Audrei is different. It took Bill more than a little while to adjust to her, shall we say…inclinations. After all, as a people pleaser, exercising control over every aspect of someone’s life doesn’t come naturally. In Bill’s mind, he’s meant to be meek. To grease the wheels of life with an easy smile and a willing attitude. But Audrei had other plans.
---
Enamored with his servile girlfriend, Bill enjoys Audrei both before and after his meeting.
Series
- Part 38 of Kinky Bill One Shots
-
Luminous by DRHPaints
Fandoms: Documentary Now! (TV 2015), Doc Now - Fandom, Documentary Now - Fandom, Sandy Passage - Fandom
01 Apr 2024
Tags
Summary
With each passing year, legends grew. Whispers of ghosts. Neighborhood children crossing to the other side of the street to avoid Vicious Vivvy. Brave ones threw stones, sprayed paint. Until nothing but Pride kept the derelict dwelling upright. Occasionally young men were seen. Entering with bags of groceries. But if you asked the old timer’s, they would tell you: Those fellas never come out.
New to the Hampton’s, Fenton Fry never heard these morbid tales. Rolling along on his bike during a warm March afternoon, instead of spooks and scares, his brain overflowed with dreams. Hopes of saving enough to relocate to New York, to escape from the pincer grip of his aunt, who refused to acknowledge his identity. Calling out, “Frieda! Frieda!” whenever she needed him to nuke a few hotdogs, or weed the garden, and blind to the five o’clock shadow and the dipping voice of her now nephew.
So head in the clouds, Fenton didn’t notice the tall woman hiding behind a hedge. That is, until she sang out a melodious, “Yoo-hoo!”
---
Little Vivvy hires trans guy Fenton Fry, and while cleaning out Sandy Passage, they find each other.
-
Overexposed by DRHPaints
Fandoms: Bill Hader - Fandom, Bill Hader RPF, Actor RPF, American (US) Actor RPF, US Comedians RPF, Director RPF
16 Mar 2024
Tags
Summary
Stunt woman Valerie prides herself on handling any situation a director can dish out. But when roaches are involved in her work on 'Barry,' she doesn't know if she can cope. That is, until the sweet and sensitive Bill Hader offers some comfort.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,562
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 9
- Hits:
- 145
-
Tags
Summary
Perhaps Bobby should be concerned about his language. Families nearby, kids. But arms infused by rage and bearing down on this asshole, he doesn’t give a damn. Fight and fright lurk in the hick’s gaze and Bobby’s bat wiggles a warning. “You don’t know what I’m capable of! Come on! Please!” Voice crackling through fires of frenzy, he takes another step and the hick stumbles backwards. Again, Bobby shouts, “You don’t know what I’m capable of!”
But Paulette does. Peeking out the door, she ignores James’ babbling, his twitching, and tracks Bobby. Most write off her husband as a loser. The manager of a tired theme park where people bring their rugrats to ride the rollercoaster and lose half a week’s pay at the rigged games. And sure, Bobby tucks in his t-shirts. Wears white socks pulled halfway to his knees. Walks around with a whistle dangling from his neck, shrilling through the park whenever some ne'er-do-well misses the clown mouth garbage cans. But more than a little awkward herself, none of these things put off Paulette. Quite the contrary, because she’s familiar with the beast crouching behind Bobby’s dorky exterior.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,640
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 4
- Hits:
- 81
-
Tags
Summary
Enid made a small, indistinguishable noise. Gulping another hit, Richie asked in a froggy voice, “What’s wrong?”
Shrugging, Enid accepted the nearly burnt out joint and took a small puff. “Nothing, nothing. I was just thinking…” She leaned back on the couch, letting lightheadedness take over. “What is it like to have a dick? To fuck someone with one.”
Richie caught Trent’s eye over the reclined Enid, corner of his mouth twitching upward. “You know, they have these fantastic things called strap-ons…”
Enid rolled her eyes as Trent stamped out the last of the joint. “I know. And I’ve done that.” At this point, the tips of Trent’s ears turned red and he sent Richie a ‘what’re-you-gonna-do’ look. “But it’s not the same as really having a dick, right? I mean, I don’t want to get surgery or anything. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious.”
“How curious?”
---
Touring with the band Cakehole, Richie offers the singer/guitarist couple a unique threesome experience.
-
Tags
Summary
Tug her forward by the necklace. Key and lock clinking. Sally gasps.
Are you still my good girl?
Sally’s chin upturned. Hazel eyes clear and wanting, like a fallen leaf seeking shelter on the ground. Yes, sir. Always.
Barry scoops her up. No twinge in his back, no stress on his arms. Bearing Sally effortlessly up the stairs. Past a mantle groaning under the weight of awards. Emmys, Oscars, hell, maybe even a Tony. Barry doesn’t think he can sing for shit. But maybe here, he can.
Into the bedroom. She smiles. A secret, welcoming smile. Perhaps Barry saw this last night and replicated it for his musings. Or perhaps he misconstrued her invitation even then. Regardless, now he turns her around. Sally following along. No questions, no objections. Because this is his Sally. His wife. His dream. A Sally overflowing with love and eager to be possessed.
---
On the way to Natalie's party, Barry envisions his future with Sally.
-
Tags
Summary
Meeting at Cal's Corner, Milo's one night stand with Orin, a trans man, turns into something real.
-
Tags
Summary
But in the process of depositing money into the pocket of his faded orange shirt, something caught Willy’s eye.
Designer glasses on and munificent curves wrapped in a gold and purple suit, a woman crossed from the gate to one of the lounge chairs, dodging children along the way. Unfurling a towel, she fluffed her crimson curls over the back of the chair before reclining, a knee propped up like an ad for Hawaiian Tropics as she began soaking in the sun.
Sure, a lot of women came to the Boise pool. But by July, Willy knew most and ignored them just as they ignored their own children for the sake of a base coat. Unlike the others, however, this woman toted along no tots. And between the gold watch glinting at her wrist and leather heeled sandals that cost more than his monthly wages, she looked as if she belonged at a private pool instead of this urine-tainted concrete hole.
---
Offering Willy a refuge from the storm, the affluent Miss Mae brings him home for some fun.
-
Tags
Summary
As Herb arrived on scene he saw her. Bea Billings. Sporting her teased helmet of hair and smart business suit, mid-interview with a cop at the pier who would surely give her all the juicy details and leave only crumbs for Herb. To her credit, she looked like a person you could trust. But a precarious trust. Reliability with just enough risk to make her interesting. Damn Bea. No matter what story broke–a storm, a robbery, a death–Bea was there. Front and center before anyone else. Scowling, Herb couldn’t believe she beat him to the punch yet again.
Holding out the microphone for her witness to speak, Bea heard the van pull up, watched Herb Welch climb out in his ridiculous yellow blazer. Caught the dirty look he sent across the pavement. That scoundrel. He tried to undermine Bea at every turn. But today, today she had the victory and she wouldn’t give it up without a fight.
---
Reflecting on his past at WXPD, Herb Welch remembers his rivalry with fellow reporter, Bea Billings.
-
Catch by DRHPaints
Fandoms: Please Don't Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain (2023), The Treasure of Foggy Mountain
23 Dec 2023
Tags
Summary
Farley provided the boat, Ray brought the bait. A pound of minnows and three styrofoam dirt containers brimming with nightcrawlers. Farley derived a sick sort of satisfaction from severing the worms with his thumbnail, doubling their use as the other halves continued squirming. Looping the wriggling worm around his hook, Farley pulled back his rod and whipped forward, line plunking into the fulgent lake.
“Nice cast.”
“Mmhm.”
Even after all this time, Ray couldn’t get Farley out of his shell. Only in the tent, under the cover of darkness, did he come alive.
---
Farley and his secret lover, Ray, enjoy their yearly fishing trip.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,733
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 1
- Hits:
- 45
-
More Than A Friend by DRHPaints
Fandoms: Documentary Now! (TV 2015), Doc Now - Fandom, Documentary Now - Fandom, Sandy Passage - Fandom
12 Nov 2023
Tags
Summary
Meeting another trans woman in ballet class, Little Vivvy soon realizes she's developed feelings for her best friend, Christine.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,808
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 7
- Hits:
- 106
-
Tags
Summary
Upon discovering Rob's assistant has been trying to sabotage their relationship, Emersyn takes her to lunch. After working things out, Emersyn and Rob engage in some boss/employee roleplay.
Series
- Part 2 of Rob and Emersyn
-
Tags
Summary
After Sally receives an unwanted advance from her pseudo-agent, Barry vows to take revenge.
-
Exploration by DRHPaints
Fandoms: Bill Hader - Fandom, Bill Hader RPF, Actor RPF, American (US) Actor RPF, US Comedians RPF, Director RPF
09 Nov 2023
Tags
Summary
Bill eyes the lobby suspiciously, scratching through his salt and pepper beard Felix insists he keeps, lest his thighs go unravaged. “Are you sure we’re supposed to be in here?”
“Probably not.” A shrug. This is how Felix greets most of life. Dive first, ask questions later. And admittedly, Bill doesn’t mind drowning along with him. “But we might as well check it out while we’re here.”
‘Here’ is an abandoned hotel. Roof sagging. Paint chipping. With an ancient, flat smell and shattered fluorescents that give the building an unrivaled eeriness. Bill studies the ceiling, almost certain they’re exposing themselves to asbestos, or something worse. But Felix’s bright eyes and glowing smile prompt him through the front door.
“Whoa…” Abandoned lobby. Dark. Dank. Straight out of a Guillermo del Toro film, or maybe Sam Raimi. Bill half expects some strange creature to pop out from behind the long-neglected front desk.
“See, I told you.” A frequent phrase out of Felix’s mouth. After introducing Bill to his favorite band, to a hand around his throat mid-fuck. “Wouldn’t this make a great location for your next movie?”
Series
- Part 37 of Kinky Bill One Shots