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  1. *

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    Doc is a very intelligent man who has never done anything wrong, ever.

    Consequently, the fact that there is now a stranger in the middle of his lab, looking utterly disheveled and very confused, is absolutely not his fault. Neither is the smoking phone booth-like machine which the stranger has just stumbled out of. This is all going perfectly normal and according to plan.

    (Oh, he’s screwed.)

    -----------

    Or: YHS-era Grian gets accidentally time-traveled into Hermitcraft. HC-era Grian is having a time. Scar is also there.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,986
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    227
    Kudos:
    2,876
    Bookmarks:
    580
    Hits:
    21,766
  2. 47

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    No matter what Scar said, Grian actually did know what he was doing. Sure, he wasn't great at actually doing the things, but he did know what was going on.

    Case in point, he knew very well that he had been doing a routine check up on the most dense area of the city and therefore the most crime ridden section, and he also knew very well that he was surrounded by heroes on a rooftop and was going to have to fight his way out. He also knew that he was still recovering from that stab wound to his side that Scar hadn't fully been able to heal, and he knew that there was now a new bullet wound in his shoulder from one of Chromia's sniper rifles.

    So yeah. He knew what he was doing. He just wasn't the best at the doing part.

    -

    or, Grian is one of the most dangerous men in the city. When he gets surrounded by heroes, he has no choice but to hit his panic button, alerting his partner to come rescue him. But what if one of the heroes isn't quite as heroic as they might think?

    or or, supervillains grian and scar fight some heroes, recover their apartment together, and have tomato soup made for them by a hero with a very specific motive

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,283
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    165
    Kudos:
    386
    Bookmarks:
    47
    Hits:
    3,109
  3. *

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    Hermitcraft is supposed to be a safe haven, a place for people who were outcasted from the world to live their life freely, no matter who or what they were. It was a place for those to take shelter, a place for them to be themselves, a place that was supposed to be a sanctuary.

    It just so happens that most of its residents are running from humans

    And it just so happens that one of its residents is a human.

    Well, better pray no one notices, right?

    ------

    The five times a Hermit guesses what Mumbo is, and the one time Mumbo shows who he is himself.

    (With a healthy dose of guilt over something he can't control, his humanity)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,190
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    95
    Kudos:
    1,983
    Bookmarks:
    352
    Hits:
    16,224
  4. 23

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    Scar’s voice was like honey on a fresh wound. At any other time, any other place, he’d be thankful for it, but it wasn’t right at this moment. No, now it seeped into his skin, a burning that would threaten to infect and ruin him if he gave it the time of day.

    “What are you doing here?” Grian's arm wrapped around him, nestling the coat in place. If Mumbo didn’t know better, he might say that the two were concerned. But there was no reason for concern, was there? Their worries made no sense. He tried so desperately not to think about it.

     

    Mumscarian Week Day 1: nature/new beginnings - Mumbo is pining over Grian and Scar, and gets a bit worked up about it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,256
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    283
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    1,624
  5. *

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    The room is silent, and Scar gently places his hand on Grian’s, “You know that don’t you?” When he doesn’t respond, Scar continues in an even smaller voice, “You know we love you, right?”

     

    Watchers do not have friends no attachments she’s hurt go help her no don’t— stay put chin up, fledgeling do as you’re told. It won’t hurt if you could just listen you useless thing. Put obsidian over your chests, that’ll teach you to organize everything is orderly, the universe functions by the rules we enforce—no little empire, the universe is fluid and kind, they lie, they want to control us they want power—we want what’s best for you, stand up straight, don’t waiver, never waiver, never, never, never.

     

    “Grian,” A warm hand on his shoulder, a breath is punched from his lungs, “Grian, it’s ok—”

    Grian clenches his teeth so hard they ache, praying over and over to to—he’s not sure who he’s praying to. Who will answer when he is a god himself?

    Or;

    Xisuma's religion is the Watcher pantheon, of which Grian is an unwilling member. And—wait. Has anyone seen Pearl?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,689
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    209
    Kudos:
    3,239
    Bookmarks:
    366
    Hits:
    44,505
  6. 69

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    “Are you sure this is a good idea?” asks Mumbo, fiddling with the buttons of his shirt. He’s trying to delay the inevitable – primarily, being shirtless in front of a lot of people with Scar ‘Godlike Abs’ Goodtimes right next to him for comparison. It’s not working very well. “Just, I can think of, off the top of my head, oh, sixteen ways this could go wrong. At least three of them end with us respawning. At least.”

    “Oh, no!” Scar, already reclining across a table in a distinctly louche manner, is nude from the waist up and looking distinctly self-satisfied about it. If anybody present knew who Jeff Goldblum was, multiple comparisons would have already been made. “It’s a terrible idea, and it’s going to go horribly wrong.”

    (The origin story of the Hermitcraft server party tequila ban, feat. a body shots contest, Mumbo's body hair, Scar's natural reactions, Bdubs being a complete fucking freak, Pearl's love affair with prosecco, and ambiguous pants removal.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,737
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    69
    Kudos:
    600
    Bookmarks:
    69
    Hits:
    4,745
  7. 27

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    Impulse wasn't really sure when he'd fallen to his knees, but the pain in his right leg doubled, and he just wanted it to stop. He just wanted it all to stop.

     

    He barely made out five sets of footsteps walking away, and then all Impulse was left with was the dim whirring of a streetlamp nearby, and his own labored, shallow breathing.

     

    I can’t die yet.
    ___

    Or, Impulse finds himself stuck in a rather sticky situation, and only has one way to turn for help.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,047
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    216
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    1,885
  8. 33

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    Tango knew Impulse knew the schedule front and back—he always did. But Tango repeated it anyway. “Have you been mini golfing?”

     

    “I have,” Impulse’s smile was infectious, and Tango found himself a little bit lighter. “I haven’t been in a long time, though. A friend of mine used to take me bowling all the time, and there was a mini golfing place right next door. Sometimes we’d go to both one after the other.”

     

    “I hope I can bring back some old memories,” Tango managed a genuine smile.

     

    Impulse shook his head. “Don’t worry about that. We’ll be making new ones.”

     

    ___

    Or, Tango has a bit too much fame for his liking. Luckily, he's got bodyguards that have his back.
    Or or, three times Tango was protected by those he cares about, and one time he protects them.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,699
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    259
    Bookmarks:
    33
    Hits:
    2,208
  9. 56

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    “I’m being serious, Scott. Jimmy deserves the world.” Suddenly, Tango was up in Scott’s face, slightly sharpened teeth glinting threateningly. “If you hurt him…” Tango drew his thumb across his throat in a clean, smooth arc.

    If he was being honest, however, Scott was a little distracted from the shovel talk Tango was giving him. Having Tango’s face this close to his, so close Scott could memorise every beautiful detail, basking in Tango’s protectiveness over those he loves… It was kinda hot, if Scott was being honest. He shut that train of thought down again. He had Jimmy. Jimmy was the world.

    ———

    In which Jimmy and Scott are together, Tango and Jimmy are exes, and then Scott falls head-over-heels for Tango while the man is giving him a shovel talk. Somewhat gay dumbassery ensues.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,177
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    1,301
    Bookmarks:
    56
    Hits:
    8,406
  10. *

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    You whispered to Renthedog: i want a truce

    You whispered to Renthedog: just for an hour

    Renthedog whispered to you: why?

    You whispered to Renthedog: i want his body

     

    Or: When the dust settles, Scott walks into Dogwarts intent on bringing his husband home. Martyn follows.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,679
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    218
    Kudos:
    2,924
    Bookmarks:
    567
    Hits:
    18,061
  11. *

    Summary

    Main series completed, now mainly extra post-story fics :)

    ~

    The Codfather’s loose shirt is gone now, and while Scott certainly hadn’t expected that level of muscle definition, that isn’t what he’s focused on. Jimmy’s torso is littered with scars. They’re all over, some large and others tiny, some an aged white and others a shiny red. He gapes at them, confused—what had happened? Is the sea really that dangerous? He knows Jimmy’s clumsy, does it justify this?

    “What happened to you?” he blurts out, and Jimmy turns to him, face a picture of confusion, before his eyes follow Scott’s gaze. Comprehension dawns and his face closes off.

    “You know how it is,” he says coolly, and Scott is pretty sure he does not, in fact, know how it is.
    -
    or, that one trope where A sees B's scars and instantly turns from a bully to protective.

    Words:
    181,038
    Works:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    405
  12. *

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    Definition: a person in a completely unsuitable environment or situation.
    An amnesic washes up from one of Rivendell’s rivers. With no idea who he is, where he’s from, or even what he is, Scott chooses to make him a guest of Rivendell to keep an eye on him until they can determine if he’s another enemy and possibly get his memory back. As more bizarre clues about this stranger are revealed and the war with the Corrupted forces goes on, Scott quickly finds himself out of his depth too.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    81,450
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    480
    Kudos:
    773
    Bookmarks:
    179
    Hits:
    12,742
  13. *

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    Mumbo drops his hands from the ceiling to cross his arms petulantly. “In fact, why isn’t Scar taking up this job?”

    Scar is, indeed, sitting very daintily on a plush chair that Grian hadn’t seen him drag in. “Don’t let me bother you!” he says, giving them a wide wave. “Wouldn’t want to interrupt your learning!”

    “I didn’t even want to be here,” Mumbo bemoans. “I’m not good at gardening, Grian, we both know it! I could be- I could be building a flying machine right now.”

    He says that wistfully, and Grian takes one hand off of the dirt he’s pressing against the ground - ceiling - whatever, and sets it on Mumbo’s very white shirt. “Mumbo,” he says, with a gentle and caring tone. His friend looks up at him.

    Mumbo’s dark eyes are practically voids in the dank man-made cavern, and dirt flecks have rubbed their ways onto his face like a smattering of stars.

    “I’m only going to say this once,” Grian continues, and the shoulder underneath his hand relaxes. “Get good.”

    Or: Grian has some grass issues. Mumbo and Scar try to help.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,684
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    121
    Kudos:
    1,632
    Bookmarks:
    235
    Hits:
    16,191
  14. *

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    Summary

    Scar joins the crown prince's harem for the money, but maybe finds something much more.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    55,000
    Chapters:
    19/19
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    151
    Kudos:
    793
    Bookmarks:
    105
    Hits:
    15,145
  15. *

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    “What do you mean you found him?”

    Scar grins.

    “I found him! He was on the side of the road, y’know, all bandaged and bloody and he looked like he was going to pass out, so I stopped the Swaggon to see if he needed help, and lo and bebold⎯”

    “Behold.”

    “That’s what I said⎯ he did! And now we’ve got a new friend!”

    Mumbo gapes at him disbelievingly.

    “He could easily murder you in your sleep, Scar!”

    Otherwise known as when Scar takes in yet another stray in the form of a traumatised, recently ex-cultist Grian, and Mumbo doesn’t exactly approve...at first. Somehow, though, the prickly avian manages to worm his way into both of their hearts.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,344
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    84
    Kudos:
    979
    Bookmarks:
    150
    Hits:
    8,292
  16. *

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    Summary

    After being abandoned in Japan, Grian was positive that he and his younger brother would be dead by the end of the week, he hadn't been expecting anyone to help, and then someone did.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    219,388
    Chapters:
    141/141
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    3,424
    Kudos:
    1,870
    Bookmarks:
    213
    Hits:
    75,521
  17. *

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    They are screaming. They are screaming and Xelqua is running. His eyes dart from place to place, searching the towers and palaces for them, praying to gods that he knows do not exist that they won't find him before he has the chance to escape.

    He skids to a stop in front of a small alcove, the place where their eyes would often glance over without registering. He crawls behind the purple tapestry that conceals it, curls himself into a ball, and does his best not to hesitate as he pulls open lists and lists of code. He fails, his hands lingering over the lines, already searing hot without his fingers mixing with it.

    Another scream shakes the walls, and Xelqua no longer has the option to wait.

    Or,

    I wanted to write a feral grian one-shot, because there aren't enough of those out there

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,462
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    1,022
    Bookmarks:
    122
    Hits:
    6,227
  18. *

    Summary

    In which Technoblade is a warlord/world conqueror without a heart. It’s ok though, Tommy will be his heart.

    (Or AU in which Techno is taking over the world and he takes Tommy as heir with the intention of using him as a way to win over the realm. Thing is his plan works a little too well because even he ends up loving Tommy too.)

    Words:
    114,767
    Works:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    555
  19. 60

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    Summary

    Then, he saw the Hot Guy photos. Now, out of all the popular, hot fictional characters, Grian definitely thought that Hot Guy was, well, the hottest. And – gods help him – this man looked exactly like him, practically straight out of the comics. He had a devilishly charming smile on his tanned face. His hair was pulled back into a small low ponytail. The skin-tight suit showed off the curve of his waist and the large muscles on his biceps. Grian felt his entire face heating up. It probably looked the same color as his wings, and Pearl seemed to notice. “Oh my, someone has the hots for Hot Guy.” She winked and Grian turned his face away, crossing his arms. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

    Or Cosplayers Scar and Grian going to the same convention as Hot Guy and Cute Guy, and they both want to win the cosplay competition. What will the do?

    This was an idea by @boundbysand on tumblr and you can find the origional post here: https://www.tumblr.com/boundbysand/727853973429796864/i-cant-stop-thinking-about-a-silly-cosplayer
    Thank you for letting me use the idea!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,746
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    599
    Bookmarks:
    60
    Hits:
    2,820
  20. *

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    It had been two weeks since they’d taken him off of the streets, dragging him kicking and screaming away from Pearl and Jimmy and Martyn and BigB, binding his wings and forcing him to be their personal servant and punching bag. And yeah, being homeless and not knowing whether you’d survive the night was bad. But at least he was free! He could spread his wings as much as he wanted, he could move around without at least two pairs of eyes on him, he wasn’t chained in a freezing dark basement when he wasn’t wanted.
    Needless to say, he was not happy about these conditions.

    Or,

    fantasy au desertduo where Scar is the king and Grian is the watcher's newest servant

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,835
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    299
    Kudos:
    1,081
    Bookmarks:
    155
    Hits:
    11,431

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