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(john? jane?? june???) J EGBERTS GUIDE TO NOT SURVIVING JUNIOR HIGH by orphan_account
Fandoms: Homestuck
01 Sep 2023
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sincerely, j egbert.
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DING DONG the witch is DEAD!! lmoa!
Series
- Part 4 of ==> You there, character! Do a thing!
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Kingsman: The Highlands Liaison by heavensfallingaroundus, MissFreckles
Fandoms: Kingsman (Movies), Bodyguard (TV 2018)
18 Jan 2022
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Clansman, the Scottish secret organisation based between Glasgow and the Highlands, has been part of the Kingsman-Statesman axis for a number of years when, in February 2020, seemingly out of the blue, bodies start disappearing from morgues and gravesites in Northern Europe and Scotland, creating a pattern that Hume, the Clansman quartermaster, thinks deserving of deeper investigation.
The candidates for this perilous mission?
The Clansman Agent: one David Budd, codename Wallace, army veteran, master of undercover operations, showing signs of mild-to-moderate PTSD, and in desperate need of a babysitter.
His designated babysitter: one Gary “Eggsy” Unwin, codename Galahad, sexually frustrated recent divorcee with daddy issues and a massive kink for dangerous situations, temporarily on loan from Kingsman to Clansman (much to Harry Hart’s dismay).
So begins the heroic tale of a somewhat disastrous partnership, multiple avoidable misunderstandings, mind control, and genetically-modified bugs. -
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Eggsy and Roxy go on a mission together and they succeed with flying colours, but after the mission is said and done they finally get to the most important topic of their relationship: Them.
I'm bad at summaries but look, Roxy and Eggsy kick ass, Merlin is a sweetheart who's done with this shit, and both of them are idiots secretly in love. There's misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and smut. Also graphic description of killing someone for like a minute. Don't read if any of this triggers you.
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A post-V-day, slow-burning, Roxlin fic, and shameless indulgence of some of my favorite tropes.
Merlin, Roxy, and Eggsy regroup after successfully foiling Valentine's sinister plot and begin to rebuild, teaming up with MI6 to take down some truly wicked, opportunistic baddies. Their friendships grow and strengthen as they work and recover together, but Merlin and Roxy are unprepared for how close they are starting to become.
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In a world where a fanfiction author decides that they really liked the Infinite Loops idea before realizing how fucking big and weird it was decided to make a fanfiction in a fandom they had newly fallen into. Join multiple characters that you love and hate in an adventure that you won't ever forget! Or at least I hope you don't forget that would make me sad if you did.
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Her mum might have named her Vivian, but she's sure this isn't going to be "Pretty Woman."
(It turns out much better.)
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To Live a Normal Life? How preposterous! by 09Pyros_09Hydros
Fandoms: Homestuck, Hiveswap
18 Nov 2020
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They had did it, they had won... so why don't the other's remember? Why are they back on earth with their powers? What the hell is going on?
John, Dave, Jake, Roxy and Karkat are the only ones who remember the game. That and their powers are still with them and they seem to be in another goddamn universe, so many things are different. They have families now that don't know anything about the game, Dave having to deal with two brothers at the same time now and John dealing having his dad back things are hard for the 5 of them and watch them try to live a somewhat normal life.
However it seems that their fighting days aren't over as the Condesce keeps sending drones and imps keep appearing! So they form a secret group that will try their hardest to keep Earth safe!
But the Condesce is coming and their friends and family become more and more suspicious, oh how their lives are soo complicated!
Series
- Part 1 of To Live Universe
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They had did it, they had won... so why don't the other's remember? Why are they back on earth with their powers? Why were they turning into monsters? What the hell is going on?
John, Dave, Jake, Roxy and Karkat are the only ones who remember the game. Their powers have gone with them but something seemed to have gone wrong, they were turning into monsters! They've ran from their newly restored families who have no memory of the game but know that they turned into monsters. To keep them safe, they try to keep their distance and protect them as best as they can.
Rifts from the game are appearing but the game monsters are stronger, more violet and more terrifying. Old enemies are on the horizon and the people of the Earth are terrified of them and what's to come.
Gog help them all.
Series
- Part 2 of To Live Universe
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"This girl's connections make her more likely to sprint down the Valentine path than walk down the Kingsman road."
"Let's change that then, shall we?"
"Well, as it happens, we might have a chance to. It seems we'll need her godfather quite a bit, only here's the thing. David Budd has gone missing."
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To Live a Normal Life? How challenging! by 09Pyros_09Hydros
Fandoms: Homestuck, Hiveswap
14 Aug 2020
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They had did it, they had won... so why don't the other's remember? Why are they back on earth with their powers? Why were they hybrids now? What the hell was going on?
John, Dave, Jake, Roxy and Karkat are the only ones who remember the game. They've become hybrids, combinations of each of their species, capable of switching species when it came to it. Rifts are appearing and they're mistaken as an alien species, which wasn't too far off the mark.
Dave says fuck it and makes everything harder for Earth and the hybrids find themselves making a hypothetical backstory for themselves as an alien species. Meanwhile, the actual aliens, the trolls of Beforus are flabbergasted by a similar but very different species to their own.
Her Benevolence just smiles and plays along with the lies.
Watch everyone scramble around to deal with the hot mess.
Series
- Part 3 of To Live Universe
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SEQUEL TO ONE SECCOND TOO LATE
One month on and Eggsy isn't coping. Merlin and Roxy watch from the side lines watching as Eggsy struggles to find himself and his purpose of life again.
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Time was a blur and it didn’t feel like it was happening at all.
Eggsy knew it, he was lost in time.
Series
- Part 2 of One Seccond Too Late
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See, Eggsy doesn't know what to do with this. He'd always known he'd been dealt a bad hand, but he wasn't sure just how bad a hand it was until now. He's got enough on his plate as it is, he never asked to be put on some sort of international hit list, and he absolutely did NOT ask to be protected (read: stalked) by one of the hottest men he's ever seen.
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Eggsy got a tattoo to honour his dad while he still thought he died in the marines. As a Kingsman agent, he's not allowed to keep it since it's a very clear identifying mark. Roxy thinks this is unfair and ridiculous.
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Dean had Eggsy sign up at the Kingsman Agency, England’s discreet and (somewhat) secret gay mail-order-bride service.
After a year of silence from them to which Eggsy assumed was due to his questionable records (petty criminals didn't make the best wives, did they?), he thought that he would never get a call announcing an interested suitor, and he wasn't hoping for one either.
But he'd never gotten what he wanted, and just when he thought things couldn't get worse, they do. Or so he thinks.
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How is all of this shit is supposed to go?
Do we play up our powers or keeping them down low?
Do we strut around saying we made your universe?
We died just to have the chance so don’t make this worse
On us for all the things we’ve done for this shot at life
After years of fearing, drifting, conscious of time passing by
We’ve all got our issues that we have overcome or
Still are overcoming because it’s not just once and then it’s overCurrent Progress:
Act 1 - Chapters 1 - 22
Act 2 - Chapters 23 - ?Series
- Part 1 of The Counting Deities Verse
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The first time Eggsy ever gets a hard-on from getting hit, it’s because Roxy fucking Morton decks him one in the sparring ring.
It ain’t exactly that straightforward, but that’s about the gist of it.
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Eggsy learns he might quite like getting brought to his knees, Roxy gets through a shitty day, and everyone learns a little bit about how to deal with unwanted feelings. Then they goe home to watch Bake Off.A little plot-bunny about how and why Eggsy discovers one particular type of submission wouldn't leave me alone. No real smut in this, and it's blink-and-you'll-miss-it Roxy/Eggsy - mostly it's pals helping each other out by taking a good beating then watching Bake Off.
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The Despair of Sunsets and the Longing of Sunrises by anarchycox for elrhiarhodan
Fandoms: Kingsman (Movies)
13 Jan 2019
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Roxane Morton's only life goal was to join the elite group that was the Duke's guards. During her training though, the Duke and his Captain of the Guard swore she was a spy and threw her in the dungeon to await trial and death. There she learned that the previous Captain of the Guard might be alive, not killed in battle like they were told. She manages to escape figuring he is her only chance to prove her innocence. He was heroic and honourable, he was Captain Merlin - children were told stories of him.
Only she finds an angry and tired man, who travels with a hawk, and disappears at night. And there is another man only a little older than her that sometimes appears in the night and is so sad and so beautiful.
She just wanted to clear her name, she didn't want to fall into magic, and schemes, and lovers torn apart. She was a soldier, she didn't believe in camp fire tales.
But it is hard to disbelieve, when you find yourself in one.
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"Charlie... fuck off!"
"Yeah, go on - walk, away, dickhead!" He yelled, cuddling the pug, having just been splashed with buckets of water by his less-than-threatening competition.
"No spare sheets?" She asked from within his foot locker. Eggsy shrugged.
"I mean, it's not like I've never slept on a bare mattress before."
"Or you could simply share my bed." / Roxy is in desperate need of a distraction the midst the stress of training. -
Somehow getting stabbed was the best thing to ever happen to me... by KissJupiter
Fandoms: Homestuck
29 Oct 2018
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Dirk Strider is the First Prince of his Kingdom, and next in line to the throne. With the human population dwindling away to nothing, and his older brothers madness growing stronger everyday, he struggles to find the will to go on, A sudden event brings everything on its head and his people are panicking. With very few to trust and nowhere to go, Dirk must make decisions that could lead to the downfall of his Kingdom and the loss of his friends, All he wishes is for his younger brother Dave to be safe, falling in love was not part of the plan.