1 - 20 of 47 Bookmarks by KalansPhantom
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'There's a notification clogging up his screen.
Dennis Whitaker (R1): Hey, just wanted to check in with you after yesterday. It was intense. And also, that thing you were asking about? I feel like Trin kinda got in your head about it. Amy's really just a friend. She needs help on the farm, with a baby, and I'm pretty good at farmwork. That's all.
It's entirely too much justification for your boss.'
Robby finally makes it to his sabbatical.
Whitaker finds himself a little adrift without his boss around.
Jack is just trying to make sure the both of them are happy.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 139,599
- Chapters:
- 34/34
- Comments:
- 2,125
- Kudos:
- 4,670
- Bookmarks:
- 1,253
- Hits:
- 119,827
Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
09 Jun 2026
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In which Dennis "I'm obviously just a beta with a really mild scent and a huge thing for Alphas" Whitaker is completely obsessed with his chief and the night shift attending, and it's all totally normal and completely ok and 100% Not A Problem.
So why is he so hot under the collar? And why is his mouth where his fangs would be so damn sore all of a sudden? And why is the whole room suddenly white hot and smelling like the most delicious thing he can imagine?
An unconventional love story.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 85,475
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Comments:
- 417
- Kudos:
- 2,231
- Bookmarks:
- 460
- Hits:
- 56,470
Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
15 Mar 2026
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Summary
The island of snacks is a refuge for Stede. Island of Misfit Orgy-goers, he thinks to himself. He snatches a bottle of water, does as the sign says, and hydrates. He can hear music playing throughout the whole house, a sexy and sultry playlist that he quite enjoys. Over the sound of the music are the occasional moan or sound of slapped flesh and a whimper. Stede blinks, staring at the wall and taking in the sounds of the evening. Could he distinguish Mary’s voice from the rest? He wonders. He doesn’t think he can. He doesn’t know if he’s ever heard her in the throes of passion, come to think of it, and that thought slightly depresses him.
“First time?” a deep voice says across the island.
OR:
Stede and Mary attend their first queer poly play party, and Stede learns a lot about himself with the help of a delightful stranger.
Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
18 Feb 2026
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A crew conducts a daring raid on the ship of the Mad Wizard Low, rescuing a man who's lost his memories. As Stede adjusts to his new life onboard a pirate ship, fleeing from the wrath of the wizard and trying to avoid the navy of the Immortal King, he tries to piece together what happened to him.
How long was he locked away? What did Mad Low want with him? And is he really just an average human mortal man?
Haunted by a recurring dream of a beautiful man in a raven mask and the burning conviction someone he loves very much is out there, Stede searches for answers, and begins to suspect he may have had a role in a failed magical ritual that plunged the world into chaos and flooding—held only at bay by the mysterious Blackbeard.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 141,187
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 220
- Kudos:
- 88
- Bookmarks:
- 43
- Hits:
- 2,102
Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
03 Jan 2026
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Summary
Stede Bonnet, modern day wealthy vice president of his father’s company, tires of his monotonous life of commuting from the hustle of the city to the cookie cutter suburbs and dreams of a peaceful life on a New Zealand sheep farm. However, because he has absolutely no idea what he is doing, he must hire a crew of unique and lovable farm hands.
Things did not go as planned…This uses season 1 of OFMD as a base but sets it in modern times. We tried to capture the vibe of the show without rehashing it. Quotes used but not in the same context as the show, just as little nods. We do venture into a "season 2" that we made up ourselves. There is sexual content.
Come yell at us on Twitter @weejanefeeney (individual posts on this account) and @bigjanefeeney the sister account
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 147,049
- Chapters:
- 49/49
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 130
- Kudos:
- 239
- Bookmarks:
- 66
- Hits:
- 6,238
Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
05 Dec 2025
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Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
24 Oct 2025
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Summary
The leather used to be like armour. Protection against a world out to fucking get him when his own skin felt far too softly vulnerable to leave so delicate and exposed. He relished in everything it stood for back then. Found euphoria in the hyper-masculine status it brought him, and the power that came with it. Willingly let it consume him until it became his whole world, because the one beyond the doors of the bars was never any better.
He built himself a reputation. Blackbeard, the leather daddy Dom.
As Blackbeard, the world could never harm him. As Blackbeard, his own dysphoria could never touch him. As Blackbeard, he knew he was safe.
It’s still true, all these years later, but his leathers are worn with age just like the rest of him, and Ed is so tired of playing pretend.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,677
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 42
- Kudos:
- 156
- Bookmarks:
- 30
- Hits:
- 1,371
Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
11 Aug 2025
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Summary
Ed and Stede are friends, but maybe also something more.
Inspired by the 1976 Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band song of the same name.
Series
- Part 1 of Night Moves
Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
26 May 2025
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Summary
Ed crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged, casual. “It’s just bodies, Stede. They’re weird. They do stuff sometimes.”
Stede peered up at him cautiously. “Yeah?”
“What, you think you’re the first person who’s ever gotten a boner during a physical?” Ed scoffed. “Hate to break it to you, but you’re not special.”
Granted, no one Ed had treated had ever had an orgasm while Ed’s finger was still inside them but that was neither here nor there.
**
Stede comes in for his annual prostate exam. Things do not go as planned.
Based on that tweet that's like "if y'all having a bad day just letting y'all know my co-worker got his prostate exam and when the doc touched his prostate he nutted immediately and fell down knocking over some equipment"
Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
15 May 2025
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Summary
Forty-five year old Ed Teach is a registered nurse at The Lighthouse, a lavish independent living community. When he is assigned to a new resident, 81-year old Stede Bonnet, he discovers an unexpected kind of love.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 198,924
- Chapters:
- 31/31
- Comments:
- 2,441
- Kudos:
- 518
- Bookmarks:
- 138
- Hits:
- 20,990
Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
07 Mar 2025
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Summary
Stede Bonnet-Banes is an omega past his prime. He’s never been able to perform the one task he’s supposedly been built for - to produce an heir - and his alpha has never let him forget it. His life is centered around keeping his alpha happy, but things take a turn when the ship they’re on is raided by the fearsome Blackbeard, and Stede is kidnapped.
Blackbeard is a name bandied about in stories and whispers, a terrifying alpha raiding ships, more demon than pirate. But things aren’t always what they seem, and Stede finds that the longer he’s on this ship, the less he wants to go home.
Series
- Part 1 of Turning the World
Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
03 Mar 2025
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Organic Chemistry by cuddlefish
Fandoms: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
19 Dec 2014
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Summary
Sherlock discovers he is an omega under the worst circumstances possible. With Mycroft’s help he endeavours to hide his gender and live as a beta. But what will happen to his carefully maintained façade, and his relationship with his brother, when he moves in with an alpha army doctor?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 171,145
- Chapters:
- 52/52
- Comments:
- 1,496
- Kudos:
- 1,683
- Bookmarks:
- 326
- Hits:
- 59,474
Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
28 Feb 2025
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Summary
This is a non-canon exploration of what the relationship between John and Marcus could have been like had Sherlock not entered John's life in my AU "It won't be the War that kills you."
This is purely a hypothetical and does not reflect actual choices made by John or by Marcus in my story.
Tw: rape/non-con
I do not condone rape or non-consensual sex in any way. If you have not read It won't be the War that kills you, then you will probably not understand this story. Marcus is a morally gray character, until his character grows and is taught otherwise. This scene would take place very early in my story.
Series
- Part 3 of Tho' it were ten thousand mile
Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
28 Feb 2025
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Summary
Alpha Sherlock and Omega John are in a relationship. Prime Sherlock and Prime John are not. So what happens when a freak fold in the universe switches one John for the other?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 152,872
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 3,449
- Kudos:
- 5,942
- Bookmarks:
- 1,531
- Hits:
- 111,776
Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
24 Feb 2025
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Summary
“So, you’re into other alphas then?” Ed asked and Stede felt his heart stop. They continued looking at each other for a moment, Stede’s mind racing as he tried to comprehend how that would even be possible. Alphas didn’t even like to be friends with each other and besides, neither of them would want… did Ed want-
Suddenly, Ed laughed and Stede found himself joining reluctantly.
“Should have seen your face, man,” he laughed. “Could you imagine?”Stede is thrilled when he gets his dream job working as a publisher. Even better, he gets to work with his favorite smut writer: Blackbeard. Meeting Blackbeard in person turns Stede’s world upside down and as he helps “inspire” Ed’s smut novels, he begins to question everything he thought he knew about himself.
Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
26 Dec 2024
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Summary
Ed takes a deep breath and then spits the words out as fast as he can, not looking Stede in the eye. “You seemed like you might be kinda interested in puppy play stuff, but I didn't know how to get you to talk about it so I bought you all this shit in case you wanted to try it but it's fine if you don't, I can return it. Well, I probably can't, because, sex stuff, but like, fuck, I don't know, I'll chuck it away. Fuckin’ burn it or something. Whatever. Pretend this never happened.”
*
Or: Stede shows some interest in puppy play, and Ed is very enthusiastic about helping him explore it.
Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
22 Dec 2024
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Summary
Stede Bonnet owns a fancy yarn shop in a cosy little seaside town. Life is mostly peaceful, a bit stressful, often lonely—then the empty shop next door is taken over by a leatherworker with kind eyes and a surprising fondness for cashmere, and everything changes.
- Words:
- 350,752
- Works:
- 27
- Bookmarks:
- 279
Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
19 Dec 2024
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Summary
“Edward,” says Stede, incredulous, “are you jealous of the terrible sex I very rarely had with my ex-wife?”
“Of course it sounds stupid when you put it that way,” Ed grumbles. “And yes.”
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Ed and Stede do something weird.
Series
- Part 6 of S.O.S.
Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
12 Dec 2024
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Summary
Queen Anne's: the sex club where the rich and famous come to play.
Ed Teach, the Queen Anne's lonely proprietor, has been in the scene for years but wonders if the world isn't passing him by somehow. That is, until the day he hosts a pony play event and meets the stallion of his dreams.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,791
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 25
- Kudos:
- 73
- Bookmarks:
- 10
- Hits:
- 945
Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
03 Dec 2024
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Summary
the scent of seasalt and honey should have been enough to tip him off as he approached the door, he supposed, looking back only in hindsight. it was all-consuming as he stepped inside, enough to swallow him whole, almost enough to drown in it. stede’s head began to swim, feeling a lurch and pull in the pit of his belly before his eyes even caught sight of the alpha writhing against his messy sheets.
shit.
Series
- Part 1 of Honey and Vanilla
Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
26 Nov 2024